Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

danz123 · danz123

Because of the holiday weekend we are postponing the business meeting. We will meet on Sunday July 12th at 9pm est. Please pm me if you have any agenda items. Happy 4th of July . hugs, danz

Loveridden · Loveridden

Going through my one day at a time in al anon book - I came across an entry that talks about blame and resentment. I will not post the entry here because I see that would be copyright infringement, but I would like to discuss it. My alcoholic boyfriend likes to blame EVERYTHING on me......everything an...

Lotus · Lotus

I have a few questions, but I'll explain the situation first. My husband and I have been married almost 4 years, and have a very young son. He was an alcoholic when we married, and because of his violent temper, I had to demand that he keep his drinking under control (he wouldn't stop) but he worked his way...

Eve55 · Eve55

Hello, I'm new here. I'm new to all of this in fact. I've only been to one meeting a few weeks ago to see if it "made sense" to me. Unfortunately I am finding that it did. So here my question. I heard about Detachment and I have tried to read about it some on the web. I've been reading the some of...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

Update from last post where A told me he is going to inpatient treatment and will need a new liver. I think when I posted I was just really scared and angry with him. I didn't know what to think. Maybe that was it I didn't THINK at all. I just started worrying and much of what I have learned hear sort of slipped...

billileli1 · billileli1

Hello. Billi here, and I have a dysfunctional housemate. I realize he doesn't have a drinking problem, but I suffer from the same kind of problem that an "AlAnon" might. He is depressed and won't go to therapy. I am watching him slowly die right now of depression. I cant' afford to move out,...

CAM0914 · CAM0914

I am just amazed at where my mind goes sometimes...the fear and anxiety that I actually manufacture on my own self! Gotta let go - let my HP take care of things, it's always the same answer.... Serenity is the goal, right? One day at a time! Best to everyone - Christine

Jerry F · Jerry F

look elsewhere. Aloha Family. I was feeling a bit over weight in the mental, emotional and spiritual self and stopped what I was doing for a minute to look at why. It only takes a minute now LOL. What I found out was that I wasn't asking my self the "what is my part in the situation first". ...

debilyn · debilyn

Went down to the horses to check water and give scritchees. Picked up the piece of flat messed up hose that "somebody" Left acrossed the road all two weeks.... As I walked back one of those garden truck things, not very tall six wheels with a bed in back to put stuff in was coming. I went in my ga...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

For some reason yesterday and today-especially today, I am consumed with the urge to snoop on EXABF's myspace page. I have no idea why, or where it came from. Perhaps it is my being sick and wanting what used to be comfort. Or an obsession- just wanting to know what/who he is doing. I don't know wher...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), This is pretty cool. Precisely at 12:34:56 today we will have a complete number sequence of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 because today is 7/8 and the year is 2009! It happened earlier this morning too but I missed it. I had no idea until I heard it on the news. Neat stuff. Enjoy your day. Love and bl...

Rora · Rora

When I examine my behaviour towards my aH from whom I am separated I have realized that for the past several years, even while we were still together, I have this very annoying habit of trying to convince him what a jerk he is. It drives him crazy as you can imagine and actually it's pretty irritating for m...

Jeanne · Jeanne

I guess, I just need to dump a little. My son who is 28 years old had two wonderful years being clean (he had two years before too) and sober, but now he has no desire to be clean *because* he has a great job, girlfriend and life is going *great.* He has short term memory of the days he slept on a park bench or...

Tracy · Tracy

Wow once they get sober you realise how much you need to change even more so. I have been very resebtful and angrey, suffering the poor me's. Wanting everything to get better overnight now he is sober ( only been 2-3 months). I went to my f2f the subject was expectations and I realised to my shame that It...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Taking care of me--taking naps when I need them! I am again struggling with sleep but it is getting better all the time! I guess that is a Beatles song! It's getting better all the time, better better so much better! I am focusing on myself a little better, too. I am not going to let others bring me down a...

mary j · mary j

Im pleased with the way MOST things have gone this wk. Iv tried hard to look after ME with the help of my HP. last Saturday when my AD told me she was going to end her life i asked you all for help, and with your help i got through it. got up Sunday morning, AD still alive (got her HP to thank for that) still dri...

CarlosNA · CarlosNA

When my GF was active, she sent her daughter up to Tennessee from Georgia to live with her daddy that she had only known for 2 years because he wanted nothing to do with a child until the time she was 12. She stayed there for 2 years and during that time, her mom completed a 6 month drug program, outpatient, a...

hanila · hanila

I've recently started a relationship with an old friend that I've known for years. I have always had feelings for him and now we are together, only I learned that he is an alcoholic. I'm so sad about this, but I like him so much and don't want it to end. Yesterday, we spent some time together at some outdo...

danz123 · danz123

July 12, 2009 (9 PM est) Business Meeting Agenda I. Review of June minutesII. Review of op meeting scheduleIII. Old businessA. Helper service position update ...

RLC · RLC

This past week I was thinking about the changes the Al-Anon program has made in my life. It dawned on me that one of the most important changes was "Not Reacting" to different situations in the way I had before coming to Al-Anon. Some examples are, now I try put my mind in gear before I put...

Suzannah · Suzannah

The following is a live chat I had with my daughter last night: 19:38xx feel sick... need sleep 19:39Me What's up xx...? Is it all getting to you? 19:40xx midwife appt and HE never showed... i rang him went to voicemail.. he text while she was here... he asks what is it i want from him exactly just wound up,...

ally · ally

Wow, this is a surprise on me this week! i've not done al-anon in eighteen months f2f or online! I practice in all my movements on a daily basis! After three years continued al-anon it kind of becomes a part of you! I have remained friends with some from the site and keep in daily contact with them! I still r...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

First I want to thank each of you who read and responded to my post from yesterday. I'm happy to report that I did not snoop at all! Today the urge is still there just a little, not nearly as consuming as yesterday. The program and the people in it have given me much strength and carried me sooo many times...

Ness · Ness

All my life Ive loved music... Im open to all kinds but always veer back to old blues and rock.I havent really been into my music for at least couple of years, yes I have the radio on in the background... but to actually chill, relax and really get into it...no....... WHY.....because Ason and I love the s...

Maria123 · Maria123

I got the phone call that broke me at the time . . . my brother called to say "Mom is dead." With no warning at all, no chance to say how much I loved her and how much she meant to me, she died in her sleep at the young age of 63 and here I was at 27 with 3 young babies myself and no mother. Bar none, my mothe...

Christy · Christy

Some of you might remember the winter before last that I posted pics of my tree that looked unsavable due to a ice storm. The weight of the ice split it down the middle and the branches hung to the ground. It held many memories. The tree and my son are the same age. That spring my neighbor and I decided we w...

Christy · Christy

It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all. Laura Ingalls Wilder said that, and she was right. This seems such simple stuff, such simplistic knowledge, yet when we truly embrace it as our living reality, our day-to-day lives begin to change in very important ways. So tak...

maresie · maresie

I've found that it isn't just in relationships that I am idealistic. Somehow I have this idea that everything I put my hand in should be this idealistic perfect creation. I'm currently going to a therapy group and while I keep my mouth shut most of the time rahter than blurt out what I'm thinking I have t...

Matt_M · Matt_M

Thankyou all who answered my last post. The information was very helpful. I am feeling better about myself just reading your posts and talking with my sposor and other AA'ers. My wife spoke with a lady from Alanon that I met at an AA meeting. The meeting went well I think, but I still don't know what she wa...

maresie · maresie

I've been working pretty hard on what I do in relationships and how they become a cycle of despair, obsession and super commitment. Basically what happens is that I idealize the person and don't see the reality of who they are, then when they disappoint me (which is inevitable) I get enraged (needles...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

I know I shouldn't sit and complain or talk about the A just worry about me. But right now I just need to. I knew something was wrong with him shortly after meeting him..he had right side pain. And drinking is all that would help. It's been getting worse especially since I moved out almost 2 months ago. Im j...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Nowhere but nowhere in this programme does it say that I will find my life perfect, free from struggle, free from disappointment, free from yearnings, free from sadness that others will not make an effort to meet me half way. Everywhere in this programme it teaches me to look at myself, change myself,...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, I am warning you now, this is a vent. I've gone too long without al-anon and situations keep festering. Couldn't talk to my sponsor tonight, and I am about to blow. This may be long... Had a glorious vacation in Hawaii and now I am back to reality. By the way, it was totally worth it. Let's see...

Matt_M · Matt_M

I recently went to treatment for alcohol abuse and have 60 days of sobriety. My wife is still very hurt about the way I acted while I was a active alcoholic and wants a divorce. She doesn't think there is any way that things can get better. I am willing to do anything to save my marraige. She won't go to alano...

GlitterGirl · GlitterGirl

I had posted this... and I apologize if this is a duplicate post, but it seems the original got deleted... I think i somehow did it by accident) Original Post: Hello Folks :) I'd like a bit of input... I'm still very new to Al-Anon, but am trying to get a better understanding of what to do and not to do regard...

xter · xter

i thought my life was unmanageable already but last night i was really, truly and finally defeated. i don't even want to go into details, it's just more of the same drama with AH. i just can't bear the pain any more. last night i prayed, "i don't know who i'm talking to but you've got to help me. i c...

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

I am enough. Just for today I will do the best I can and make the most of what I get. I will be optimistic and hopeful. I will not dwell on yesterday but do the best I can today. I am not perfect but I am enough. It's been a crazy week for me. I've been working all week and will not be getting a break. But, like someo...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I working my steps and am floundering about trying to reach out and connect with others. I'm trying to process things and deal with them in a RECOVERY way and this board feels SAFE for me to do so. The phone feels like 1000 lbs - TRULY. I find myself gravitating towards newcomers or those who have simili...

teddybearpoet · teddybearpoet

When I first came into the program. My first meeting i was givin a assingment by the wonderfull sponser i still have.. I as surpossed to draw a picture of how i was the disease and then write about it.. So I wrote this poem.. The Disease The disappointment and broken promises.. Hopes and dreams scattered...

maire rua · maire rua

Today I met a student I had taught who had become a friend and who was very supportive last year when step mom A was diagnosed with an incurable brain tumour, she died in November 08. Her daughter has just been diagnosed with a very malignant melanoma and when I met her and her three friends they had opened...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Not from alcoholism, but from a neurological condition that contributed to the depression that contributed to the alcoholism. We have had such a long and eduring marraige and I have changed so much. I finally realized that I can make do without him and his problems, and that his being sick doesn't j...

chezza · chezza

Hi everyone I am feeling pretty fearful at the moment about asking someone I have had in mind from the moment I met them to be my sponsor. I'm almost certain this person would be ideal as she has qualities I would like to gain myself and I feel has tackled the steps thoroughly from what I have listened to in...

Rita G · Rita G

How about a positive update for a change???? Seems like so many times updates can be filled with sad news - I guess maybe it depends on perspective - hmm perspective or attitude - it appears that is one of the many lessons that I have learned in recovery . . . the majority of my battle is with my perspective a...

maresie · maresie

There are sometimes I want to blot out all memories of the ex A. I am working on decluttering and I veer between wanting to pitch a lot of stuff to being obessive about where the stuff I don't want should go. I know it will be a process. Obviously our two dogs are one bit product of the relationship and I'm...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I woke up this am and found myself again thinking about EXABF-UGHHH!!!!. There has been much progress made-he used to consume every waking thought and moment from the time my eyes opened, now though I think about him it is in fleeting moments, usually remembering a time we shared last Summer or wonde...

Ness · Ness

Our local constabulary (police) kindly brought our A son home drunk and incapable....so much for sleeping it off!! (see my last post) Had I been in the vicinity...it was husb that took delivery of him....I would not have allowed him in the house but would have let the police put him in the cells for the...

Diva · Diva

Many of you already know that my daughter and I were separated at birth, and that I have recently met her after 40+ years. She flew to San Antonio to visit with me, and wouldnt you know...Alcoholic companion took that opportunity to binge. Of course he knew how important this meeting was to me, and I b...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

Today at 5 minutes and 6 seconds after 4 it will be 04:05:06 07/08/09 This will never happen again in our lifetime. Kewl..........

Bella333 · Bella333

Should I consider reading my A's email and/or text messages to confirm whether he is lying or not? I have always believed him 100% until some recent incidents where I was told he was lying to me (and he was). Even in the face of "hard" evidence he will not admit to anything (except when he is dru...

Bella333 · Bella333

I have noticed that my active alcoholic ex-boyfriend (we have stayed close after breaking up two years ago and we have talked about maybe getting back together which would lead to marriage) is acting very detached from ME! He still stays in contact with me and we play tennis etc. but has been reconne...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

It truly is amazing when I leave things to God, and just do the next right thing. I started volunteering this summer in the medical records department at my small local hospital to get some hands-on experience for my upcoming degree (associate of applied science in medical information technology...

debilyn · debilyn

I have been here many years. We used to have a member post from ODAT every day. I missed that so I asked Overcome, aka Java to post it again. John was here a lot then so I did not think twice about it not being appropriate. It is possible we did have persmission so I am going to look into it. I am sorry about any mi...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

My son and I are on vacation visiting my family. We are having a great time until my husband called me yesterday to tell me that he was in a car accident on his way to work. I guess I should be thankful alcohol wasn't involved (but will admit that was my FIRST thought). Now we don't have a 2nd vehicle becau...

Ness · Ness

Im grateful to this board, to all of you for sharing your ES&H...thank you.When I found MIP one dark day in January it started me on the path to recovery. Im a slow work in progress, building my Strength which sustains my Hope because my Experience of alcoholism took me to the end of my rope. I am sti...

Overcome · Overcome

It was pointed out to me by two other moderators of this room that my posting of the daily literature ODAAT in Al-Anon, is copyrighted literature. This is not allowed by WSO and it states in the Al-anon/Alateen service manual that "The WSO does not grant permisison for substantial reprints of C...

teddybearpoet · teddybearpoet

Hi.. Im Cathy.. A couple of weeks ago i had something happen that I have not shared with many.. Cause i did not want people to think i was crazy.. Those I have shared it with though says they thought it was a spiratial awakening and then my sponser last night said she though it was also forgivness.. It start...

Overcome · Overcome

What's so important about being right? Why do we complicate our lives and aggravate our difficulties by insisting our views be accepted? (this share is found in the daily reader) -- Edited by tea2 on Wednesday 8th of July 2009 09:19:54 PM

beacheemom · beacheemom

hi all, just wanted to update you guys. I hope all of you are doing good. Well, as some of you know I have been on a cleaning and decluttering spree for days now. It has been good for my soul!!! It's been my own way of moving forward. Like most of you all on here, I too do not want to have to make a decision on th...

Codependent · Codependent

As a codependent I am finding that my relationship insecurity is not just with As but with men in general. I am desperately lonely and so self-destructive when it comes to dating that my fears of always being alone just get reinforced. I know I am supposed to love myself, etc. But, honestly, I just WA...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All. As some of you know my job fell through for the summer because of an embargo on hiring. I took it well though I have two people in my employment who I have kept on as we are doing sterling work on the house. I have about four years of clutter to clear up and we are getting through this slowly but surely...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Business Meeting postponed (Preview) Because of the holiday weekend we are postponing the business meeting. We will meet on Sunday July 12th at 9pm est. Please pm me if you have any agenda items. Happy 4th of July . hugs, danz	danz123	1	456	Jul 12, 2009 by Lanchas
	Blame & the resentment (Preview) Going through my one day at a time in al anon book - I came across an entry that talks about blame and resentment. I will not post the entry here because I see that would be copyright infringement, but I would like to discuss it. My alcoholic boyfriend likes to blame EVERYTHING on me......everything an...	Loveridden	5	2918	Jul 12, 2009 by Loveridden
	What is happening? (Preview) I have a few questions, but I'll explain the situation first. My husband and I have been married almost 4 years, and have a very young son. He was an alcoholic when we married, and because of his violent temper, I had to demand that he keep his drinking under control (he wouldn't stop) but he worked his way...	Lotus	8	1120	Jul 12, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Detachment - Where to draw the line? (Preview) Hello, I'm new here. I'm new to all of this in fact. I've only been to one meeting a few weeks ago to see if it "made sense" to me. Unfortunately I am finding that it did. So here my question. I heard about Detachment and I have tried to read about it some on the web. I've been reading the some of...	Eve55	3	983	Jul 12, 2009 by Loveridden
	Doing better (Preview) Update from last post where A told me he is going to inpatient treatment and will need a new liver. I think when I posted I was just really scared and angry with him. I didn't know what to think. Maybe that was it I didn't THINK at all. I just started worrying and much of what I have learned hear sort of slipped...	Melissa21	2	441	Jul 11, 2009 by Melissa21
	first post at Alanon board, roommate doesnt' drink, but is dysfunctional (Preview) Hello. Billi here, and I have a dysfunctional housemate. I realize he doesn't have a drinking problem, but I suffer from the same kind of problem that an "AlAnon" might. He is depressed and won't go to therapy. I am watching him slowly die right now of depression. I cant' afford to move out,...	billileli1	4	770	Jul 11, 2009 by debilyn
	fears..... (Preview) I am just amazed at where my mind goes sometimes...the fear and anxiety that I actually manufacture on my own self! Gotta let go - let my HP take care of things, it's always the same answer.... Serenity is the goal, right? One day at a time! Best to everyone - Christine	CAM0914	3	678	Jul 11, 2009 by Jerry F
	Look inward first and then... (Preview) look elsewhere. Aloha Family. I was feeling a bit over weight in the mental, emotional and spiritual self and stopped what I was doing for a minute to look at why. It only takes a minute now LOL. What I found out was that I wasn't asking my self the "what is my part in the situation first". ...	Jerry F	7	882	Jul 11, 2009 by Jerry F
	No wonder I am single (Preview) Went down to the horses to check water and give scritchees. Picked up the piece of flat messed up hose that "somebody" Left acrossed the road all two weeks.... As I walked back one of those garden truck things, not very tall six wheels with a bed in back to put stuff in was coming. I went in my ga...	debilyn	15	992	Jul 11, 2009 by blender_girl
	Wy do I do this to myself? What causes these triggers? In need of some ESH.... (Preview) For some reason yesterday and today-especially today, I am consumed with the urge to snoop on EXABF's myspace page. I have no idea why, or where it came from. Perhaps it is my being sick and wanting what used to be comfort. Or an obsession- just wanting to know what/who he is doing. I don't know wher...	shellyj123	10	1110	Jul 11, 2009 by Jeanne
	Twice in a century...... (Preview) ((((Family)))), This is pretty cool. Precisely at 12:34:56 today we will have a complete number sequence of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 because today is 7/8 and the year is 2009! It happened earlier this morning too but I missed it. I had no idea until I heard it on the news. Neat stuff. Enjoy your day. Love and bl...	Karilynn	3	681	Jul 11, 2009 by Hoot Nanny
	its like I'm trying to convince him... (Preview) When I examine my behaviour towards my aH from whom I am separated I have realized that for the past several years, even while we were still together, I have this very annoying habit of trying to convince him what a jerk he is. It drives him crazy as you can imagine and actually it's pretty irritating for m...	Rora	7	944	Jul 11, 2009 by kitty
	New Here but not to the topic......... (Preview) I guess, I just need to dump a little. My son who is 28 years old had two wonderful years being clean (he had two years before too) and sober, but now he has no desire to be clean because he has a great job, girlfriend and life is going great. He has short term memory of the days he slept on a park bench or...	Jeanne	4	836	Jul 11, 2009 by Jeanne
	expectations (Preview) Wow once they get sober you realise how much you need to change even more so. I have been very resebtful and angrey, suffering the poor me's. Wanting everything to get better overnight now he is sober ( only been 2-3 months). I went to my f2f the subject was expectations and I realised to my shame that It...	Tracy	7	1024	Jul 11, 2009 by debilyn
	It's getting better... (Preview) Taking care of me--taking naps when I need them! I am again struggling with sleep but it is getting better all the time! I guess that is a Beatles song! It's getting better all the time, better better so much better! I am focusing on myself a little better, too. I am not going to let others bring me down a...	Hoot Nanny	1	468	Jul 11, 2009 by ally
	one wk on (Preview) Im pleased with the way MOST things have gone this wk. Iv tried hard to look after ME with the help of my HP. last Saturday when my AD told me she was going to end her life i asked you all for help, and with your help i got through it. got up Sunday morning, AD still alive (got her HP to thank for that) still dri...	mary j	3	828	Jul 10, 2009 by Jerry F
	Recovering Addict GF is facing a custody battle (Preview) When my GF was active, she sent her daughter up to Tennessee from Georgia to live with her daddy that she had only known for 2 years because he wanted nothing to do with a child until the time she was 12. She stayed there for 2 years and during that time, her mom completed a 6 month drug program, outpatient, a...	CarlosNA	7	1454	Jul 10, 2009 by CarlosNA
	in a realtionship with an alcoholic and have questions (Preview) I've recently started a relationship with an old friend that I've known for years. I have always had feelings for him and now we are together, only I learned that he is an alcoholic. I'm so sad about this, but I like him so much and don't want it to end. Yesterday, we spent some time together at some outdo...	hanila	13	1086	Jul 10, 2009 by mimi70
	July Business Meeting Agenda (Preview) July 12, 2009 (9 PM est) Business Meeting Agenda I. Review of June minutesII. Review of op meeting scheduleIII. Old businessA. Helper service position update ...	danz123	0	559	Jul 10, 2009 by danz123
	"Not Reacting" (Preview) This past week I was thinking about the changes the Al-Anon program has made in my life. It dawned on me that one of the most important changes was "Not Reacting" to different situations in the way I had before coming to Al-Anon. Some examples are, now I try put my mind in gear before I put...	RLC	4	1179	Jul 10, 2009 by Rora
	So, how am I doing? (Preview) The following is a live chat I had with my daughter last night: 19:38xx feel sick... need sleep 19:39Me What's up xx...? Is it all getting to you? 19:40xx midwife appt and HE never showed... i rang him went to voicemail.. he text while she was here... he asks what is it i want from him exactly just wound up,...	Suzannah	1	667	Jul 10, 2009 by debilyn
	Struggling To Find A Balance (Preview) Wow, this is a surprise on me this week! i've not done al-anon in eighteen months f2f or online! I practice in all my movements on a daily basis! After three years continued al-anon it kind of becomes a part of you! I have remained friends with some from the site and keep in daily contact with them! I still r...	ally	3	1831	Jul 10, 2009 by Suzannah
	Made it through another struggle........ (Preview) First I want to thank each of you who read and responded to my post from yesterday. I'm happy to report that I did not snoop at all! Today the urge is still there just a little, not nearly as consuming as yesterday. The program and the people in it have given me much strength and carried me sooo many times...	shellyj123	1	443	Jul 10, 2009 by Lilly Burn
	Reclaiming ME....part 2.... (Preview) All my life Ive loved music... Im open to all kinds but always veer back to old blues and rock.I havent really been into my music for at least couple of years, yes I have the radio on in the background... but to actually chill, relax and really get into it...no....... WHY.....because Ason and I love the s...	Ness	3	773	Jul 10, 2009 by Christy
	My Mom, 20 years ago today . . . (Preview) I got the phone call that broke me at the time . . . my brother called to say "Mom is dead." With no warning at all, no chance to say how much I loved her and how much she meant to me, she died in her sleep at the young age of 63 and here I was at 27 with 3 young babies myself and no mother. Bar none, my mothe...	Maria123	6	928	Jul 10, 2009 by Karilynn
	Speaking of trees.... (Preview) Some of you might remember the winter before last that I posted pics of my tree that looked unsavable due to a ice storm. The weight of the ice split it down the middle and the branches hung to the ground. It held many memories. The tree and my son are the same age. That spring my neighbor and I decided we w...	Christy	8	977	Jul 10, 2009 by Karilynn
	The simple things in life.. (Preview) It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all. Laura Ingalls Wilder said that, and she was right. This seems such simple stuff, such simplistic knowledge, yet when we truly embrace it as our living reality, our day-to-day lives begin to change in very important ways. So tak...	Christy	7	716	Jul 9, 2009 by tea2
	Idealism (Preview) I've found that it isn't just in relationships that I am idealistic. Somehow I have this idea that everything I put my hand in should be this idealistic perfect creation. I'm currently going to a therapy group and while I keep my mouth shut most of the time rahter than blurt out what I'm thinking I have t...	maresie	4	775	Jul 9, 2009 by Jean4444
	Thankyou all (Preview) Thankyou all who answered my last post. The information was very helpful. I am feeling better about myself just reading your posts and talking with my sposor and other AA'ers. My wife spoke with a lady from Alanon that I met at an AA meeting. The meeting went well I think, but I still don't know what she wa...	Matt_M	2	622	Jul 9, 2009 by Sincerely
	Abandonment issues (Preview) I've been working pretty hard on what I do in relationships and how they become a cycle of despair, obsession and super commitment. Basically what happens is that I idealize the person and don't see the reality of who they are, then when they disappoint me (which is inevitable) I get enraged (needles...	maresie	8	1220	Jul 9, 2009 by Bella333
	I need some ESH (Preview) I know I shouldn't sit and complain or talk about the A just worry about me. But right now I just need to. I knew something was wrong with him shortly after meeting him..he had right side pain. And drinking is all that would help. It's been getting worse especially since I moved out almost 2 months ago. Im j...	Melissa21	9	1005	Jul 9, 2009 by Jerry F
	A waste of energy so STOP, regroup, and redirect that energy into a positive action in my own recovery programme. (Preview) Nowhere but nowhere in this programme does it say that I will find my life perfect, free from struggle, free from disappointment, free from yearnings, free from sadness that others will not make an effort to meet me half way. Everywhere in this programme it teaches me to look at myself, change myself,...	Suzannah	6	864	Jul 9, 2009 by maresie
	Home from Hawaii and I need a meeting! (Preview) Hi Friends, I am warning you now, this is a vent. I've gone too long without al-anon and situations keep festering. Couldn't talk to my sponsor tonight, and I am about to blow. This may be long... Had a glorious vacation in Hawaii and now I am back to reality. By the way, it was totally worth it. Let's see...	Loupiness	6	938	Jul 9, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	Recovering alcoholic trying to save a marraige. (Preview) I recently went to treatment for alcohol abuse and have 60 days of sobriety. My wife is still very hurt about the way I acted while I was a active alcoholic and wants a divorce. She doesn't think there is any way that things can get better. I am willing to do anything to save my marraige. She won't go to alano...	Matt_M	9	1930	Jul 9, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	Should I? Or Should I Not? (Preview) I had posted this... and I apologize if this is a duplicate post, but it seems the original got deleted... I think i somehow did it by accident) Original Post: Hello Folks :) I'd like a bit of input... I'm still very new to Al-Anon, but am trying to get a better understanding of what to do and not to do regard...	GlitterGirl	8	743	Jul 9, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	just sick (Preview) i thought my life was unmanageable already but last night i was really, truly and finally defeated. i don't even want to go into details, it's just more of the same drama with AH. i just can't bear the pain any more. last night i prayed, "i don't know who i'm talking to but you've got to help me. i c...	xter	7	876	Jul 9, 2009 by xter
	Enough (Preview) I am enough. Just for today I will do the best I can and make the most of what I get. I will be optimistic and hopeful. I will not dwell on yesterday but do the best I can today. I am not perfect but I am enough. It's been a crazy week for me. I've been working all week and will not be getting a break. But, like someo...	christinajeanne	4	911	Jul 9, 2009 by RunnerChick
	Sticking with the Winners (Preview) I working my steps and am floundering about trying to reach out and connect with others. I'm trying to process things and deal with them in a RECOVERY way and this board feels SAFE for me to do so. The phone feels like 1000 lbs - TRULY. I find myself gravitating towards newcomers or those who have simili...	RunnerChick	6	737	Jul 9, 2009 by RunnerChick
	The Disease (A poem I wote) (Preview) When I first came into the program. My first meeting i was givin a assingment by the wonderfull sponser i still have.. I as surpossed to draw a picture of how i was the disease and then write about it.. So I wrote this poem.. The Disease The disappointment and broken promises.. Hopes and dreams scattered...	teddybearpoet	3	848	Jul 9, 2009 by Overcome
	Feeling sad and down (Preview) Today I met a student I had taught who had become a friend and who was very supportive last year when step mom A was diagnosed with an incurable brain tumour, she died in November 08. Her daughter has just been diagnosed with a very malignant melanoma and when I met her and her three friends they had opened...	maire rua	2	575	Jul 8, 2009 by Suzannah
	Active A is really sick (Preview) Not from alcoholism, but from a neurological condition that contributed to the depression that contributed to the alcoholism. We have had such a long and eduring marraige and I have changed so much. I finally realized that I can make do without him and his problems, and that his being sick doesn't j...	RainyJamie	7	1015	Jul 8, 2009 by maresie
	sponsorship (feelings of fear) (Preview) Hi everyone I am feeling pretty fearful at the moment about asking someone I have had in mind from the moment I met them to be my sponsor. I'm almost certain this person would be ideal as she has qualities I would like to gain myself and I feel has tackled the steps thoroughly from what I have listened to in...	chezza	4	626	Jul 8, 2009 by maresie
	A positive update (Preview) How about a positive update for a change???? Seems like so many times updates can be filled with sad news - I guess maybe it depends on perspective - hmm perspective or attitude - it appears that is one of the many lessons that I have learned in recovery . . . the majority of my battle is with my perspective a...	Rita G	5	834	Jul 8, 2009 by maresie
	Progress not perfection (Preview) There are sometimes I want to blot out all memories of the ex A. I am working on decluttering and I veer between wanting to pitch a lot of stuff to being obessive about where the stuff I don't want should go. I know it will be a process. Obviously our two dogs are one bit product of the relationship and I'm...	maresie	2	853	Jul 8, 2009 by maresie
	Dating confusion.....Any ESH would be appreciated (Preview) I woke up this am and found myself again thinking about EXABF-UGHHH!!!!. There has been much progress made-he used to consume every waking thought and moment from the time my eyes opened, now though I think about him it is in fleeting moments, usually remembering a time we shared last Summer or wonde...	shellyj123	6	857	Jul 8, 2009 by maresie
	Courage needed today (Preview) Our local constabulary (police) kindly brought our A son home drunk and incapable....so much for sleeping it off!! (see my last post) Had I been in the vicinity...it was husb that took delivery of him....I would not have allowed him in the house but would have let the police put him in the cells for the...	Ness	7	807	Jul 8, 2009 by maire rua
	My daughter visited in june! (Preview) Many of you already know that my daughter and I were separated at birth, and that I have recently met her after 40+ years. She flew to San Antonio to visit with me, and wouldnt you know...Alcoholic companion took that opportunity to binge. Of course he knew how important this meeting was to me, and I b...	Diva	7	835	Jul 8, 2009 by debilyn
	Once in a lifetime (Preview) Today at 5 minutes and 6 seconds after 4 it will be 04:05:06 07/08/09 This will never happen again in our lifetime. Kewl..........	Mobirdie	0	477	Jul 8, 2009 by Mobirdie
	Checking A's email or texts?????????? (Preview) Should I consider reading my A's email and/or text messages to confirm whether he is lying or not? I have always believed him 100% until some recent incidents where I was told he was lying to me (and he was). Even in the face of "hard" evidence he will not admit to anything (except when he is dru...	Bella333	15	942	Jul 8, 2009 by barisax
	Alcoholic seems very detached from ME (Preview) I have noticed that my active alcoholic ex-boyfriend (we have stayed close after breaking up two years ago and we have talked about maybe getting back together which would lead to marriage) is acting very detached from ME! He still stays in contact with me and we play tennis etc. but has been reconne...	Bella333	5	1239	Jul 8, 2009 by maresie
	Just wanted to share some good news... (Preview) It truly is amazing when I leave things to God, and just do the next right thing. I started volunteering this summer in the medical records department at my small local hospital to get some hands-on experience for my upcoming degree (associate of applied science in medical information technology...	Tenderheartsks	13	817	Jul 8, 2009 by N8SMOM
	I apologise (Preview) I have been here many years. We used to have a member post from ODAT every day. I missed that so I asked Overcome, aka Java to post it again. John was here a lot then so I did not think twice about it not being appropriate. It is possible we did have persmission so I am going to look into it. I am sorry about any mi...	debilyn	1	524	Jul 8, 2009 by Mobirdie
	Help Detaching Please (Preview) My son and I are on vacation visiting my family. We are having a great time until my husband called me yesterday to tell me that he was in a car accident on his way to work. I guess I should be thankful alcohol wasn't involved (but will admit that was my FIRST thought). Now we don't have a 2nd vehicle becau...	N8SMOM	7	1000	Jul 8, 2009 by kitty
	Reclaiming ME! (Preview) Im grateful to this board, to all of you for sharing your ES&H...thank you.When I found MIP one dark day in January it started me on the path to recovery. Im a slow work in progress, building my Strength which sustains my Hope because my Experience of alcoholism took me to the end of my rope. I am sti...	Ness	4	653	Jul 8, 2009 by Ness
	Daily readings from copyrighted literature (closed) (Preview) It was pointed out to me by two other moderators of this room that my posting of the daily literature ODAAT in Al-Anon, is copyrighted literature. This is not allowed by WSO and it states in the Al-anon/Alateen service manual that "The WSO does not grant permisison for substantial reprints of C...	Overcome	2	2363	Jul 8, 2009 by canadianguy
	Spiritual awakening/Forgivness (Preview) Hi.. Im Cathy.. A couple of weeks ago i had something happen that I have not shared with many.. Cause i did not want people to think i was crazy.. Those I have shared it with though says they thought it was a spiratial awakening and then my sponser last night said she though it was also forgivness.. It start...	teddybearpoet	3	1414	Jul 8, 2009 by Overcome
	July 7th reading from One Day At A Time in Al-Anon (Preview) What's so important about being right? Why do we complicate our lives and aggravate our difficulties by insisting our views be accepted? (this share is found in the daily reader) -- Edited by tea2 on Wednesday 8th of July 2009 09:19:54 PM	Overcome	8	3715	Jul 7, 2009 by serendipity
	update! (Preview) hi all, just wanted to update you guys. I hope all of you are doing good. Well, as some of you know I have been on a cleaning and decluttering spree for days now. It has been good for my soul!!! It's been my own way of moving forward. Like most of you all on here, I too do not want to have to make a decision on th...	beacheemom	2	642	Jul 7, 2009 by beacheemom
	Realtionships in General (Preview) As a codependent I am finding that my relationship insecurity is not just with As but with men in general. I am desperately lonely and so self-destructive when it comes to dating that my fears of always being alone just get reinforced. I know I am supposed to love myself, etc. But, honestly, I just WA...	Codependent	8	1059	Jul 7, 2009 by RunnerChick
	uncertainty but taking it a day at a time (Preview) Dear All. As some of you know my job fell through for the summer because of an embargo on hiring. I took it well though I have two people in my employment who I have kept on as we are doing sterling work on the house. I have about four years of clutter to clear up and we are getting through this slowly but surely...	maire rua	2	548	Jul 7, 2009 by Rita G
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.