The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This past week I was thinking about the changes the Al-Anon program has made in my life. It dawned on me that one of the most important changes was "Not Reacting" to different situations in the way I had before coming to Al-Anon. Some examples are, now I try put my mind in gear before I put my mouth in motion, or I say "you might me right" to keep a discussion from escalating into an argument, or not giving my opinion when it is none of my business, or offering my two cents worth to solve someones problem because I know a better solution. These are just a few of situations I no longer react to. No, let me say with the Al-Anon program I am doing a much better job of "Not Reacting".
But, there is one thing I am absolutely positive of, "Not Reacting" has added quality time and serenity to my life. By "Not Reacting" I have more time to take care of myself, which is the first thing we are taught in this program. It's amazing how much weight it takes off your shoulders to not feel as though you have to fix and solve everyones problems. I'm still a work in progress, but I am trying my best to retire from being the "Problem Solving Fixer" that I used to take so much pride in. Baby steps RLC, baby steps.
Thank You Al-Anon.
HUGS, RLC
-- Edited by RLC on Friday 10th of July 2009 11:25:12 AM
-- Edited by RLC on Friday 10th of July 2009 01:23:41 PM
I find not reacting, can be a daily struggle. I find the old me still creeping up, but the sheer fact I realize that old behavior is good to me. My AH a few times got angry with me over something he didn't have control of..my natural knee jerk reaction would be to get right into it with him, but I let it GO!! It felt so much better.
For me, just recognizing the emotions I'm having is new and powerful. I've just pushed them aside so long that understanding HOW I feel is pretty scary.
I went to a new class yesterday. I haven't been to college in almost 18 years and I was so nervous and anxious, but the fact I recognized why I had all the anxiety was great. I just kept reaching for my HP and the minute the class started I was fine.
Great post on my favorite subject and recovery career. "DON'T REACT" happens to be the floating screen saver on this computer. It is the most useful Al-Anon slogan in my slogan "file". I work most on not reacting. I have work still to do on getting is more a part of my character.
I learned and know today that when the disease was raging in my life and I was raging all over the place because of fears of things beyond my control was that one of the first things I was doing by using reaction was slamming the door on my HP before HP was allowed to look at the situation. I slammed the door and then attacked the person, place or thing that was causing me fear and then anger and rage all by myself without a solution in hand...nothing, nada.
Another program member here locally speaks of learning how to respond rather than reaction and his ESH has been supportive with what I have also learned in Al-Anon. I've learned to put 3 to 4 seconds in between what happens to scare me and reaching for the door handle to consider what is going on and how I want it to come out for me. Since how I want it to come out is to maintain my peace of mind and serenity I Don't React. Cunning Powerful and Baffling eh?
