The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am feeling pretty fearful at the moment about asking someone I have had in mind from the moment I met them to be my sponsor. I'm almost certain this person would be ideal as she has qualities I would like to gain myself and I feel has tackled the steps thoroughly from what I have listened to in meetings.
Am not sure how to go about asking. This is someone I have always struggled with in life and it's holding me back from giving myself a better life at the moment in tackling step four which am definitely ready for. The big difference is that am about to do something with a person to guide me this is alien to me and I find it hard to trust my decisions and ability to choose right.
Do any of you guys have experience you can share of sponsorship?
Hugs
Chezza
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Courage is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose.
Chezza, sounds like you found an ideal potential sponsor.....based on how you described the person and why she appeals to you.
I think you're real question is how to overcome your fear of asking her.... has she indicated in meetings or on phone lists that she sponsors people?
When I met the gentleman that I wanted to ask to be my sponsor, I got his phone number, and called him. I asked him if he would be my "temporary sponsor" as this is a term sometimes used, and he had indicated in the meeting that he was available to be a "temporary" sponsor. Well he said yes, and he's been my sponsor ever since (1.5 years).
I am now far enough along in the program that I am a sponsor, too. Please don't be afraid to ask - it is an honor to be a sponsor, even an honor just to be asked. I'm sure the person will say yes, unless she's just too busy with other sponsees and can't take on another at the moment.
Aww thanks Larry for your reply. It sounds so simple now I have aired my fears as it always does I find.
This person has not openly said that she is available though she was the very first person to give me her number and I knew that day there was some sort of connection when she welcomed me and took the top table. Through chatting with this lady I feel I can look up to and admire surely does tell me this is the right thing for now to do.
It's nice to hear you are still with your temporary sponsor and that now you too sponsor.
You are right you know I bet she will be honoured I sure would be even if I decided to say no. This also is good practice again for me in asking for what I really know is good for me. My natural instinct has always been what if ................... instead now it is time to think what will I miss out on if I don't ask. Something very special the gift of serenity.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience.
Hugs
Chezza
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Courage is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose.
Asking someone to be your sponsor is pretty much like asking our higher power for help. All you have to do is open your mouth and "ASK".
It took me a long time to find a sponsor. I attend a small Al-Anon group and for a very long time it was filled with people that had not worked the steps, did not have sponsors and people that had worked and do sponsor and could not take on another one. Finally after four years in program I was able to find someone I felt I could trust and when I asked she graciously accepted. Today I have sponcees and it is so rewarding. When I can help them through a difficult situation I also help myself through mine.
As for the fourth step I feared that one big time. My sponsor reassured me that there was nothing in my past that I had done that she hadn't also done or done worse. We actually laughed through most of the fourth step. Not at each other but with each other. It was an awesome experience.
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Everything I have ever let go of has claw marks all over it.
Go lightly. Review your expectations. I would highly recommend sponsorship as a tool. I've had more than one sponsor so I can also say that that is something that worked for me. I learned to let go very well having that happen.
