Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

miss lucy · miss lucy

i got a call from the doctor today telling me my blood tests have shown a deterioration in my bone density and it looks like i may have osteoporosis. this, two days after being told i need another operation to remove another non cancerous lump!!! that puts my plans back another 3 months! everything,...

mgr · mgr

I just recently kicked my addicted daughter out of our house which put her four children with their dad full-time. Of course we are still helping with the care. Question, should we allow our addicted daughter refusing treatment to visit the girls age 11, 9 3 & 2?

DragoN · DragoN

Hello, I'm new to Alanon but not the effects of alcohol in my marriage to my AH. Have been reading here and can relate to far too many of the frustrations and sadness and...the list goes on and on. Long story short...I'm tired of it. I know that I cannot change, cure nor control him...and his lying is pissi...

maire rua · maire rua

hi guys, mother's day here but not in this house, not a card or wish anywhere in site. I did bring it up and had a meltdown and have cleared all members out of my house, am now making a nice pot of coffee, getting ready to go to a meeting and kind of chuckling to myself as I handed it all over to my hp just about 10 m...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((Family))))))), Good morning to you all. After MANY long hours of contemplation, talking with old & new friends I have had a change of heart about leaving MIP. It's been a very long few days. Neither the decision to leave or remain has come lightly and w/o serious consideration. But I h...

Destynee · Destynee

I went to a F2F meeting and they all agreed that you have to play the mind games and let them back in since you don't know if they will follow though or not. My drug addicted husband will go and use on his days off and not come home, will miss a day of work and then call and say "I wrote letters to you and the k...

MapleMom · MapleMom

Warning this is totally a pity post. Today I am feeling so blue, my emotions are just so raw. I am full of why's. Like why is the man I love an alcoholic, why is my dad an A, why is my brother an A, why is alcohol such an issue with my mother, why is every family function a booze fest, why do I seem to be the only on...

indigo1 · indigo1

I just joined this group tonight because I am currently in a relationship with an active alcoholic, and I am trying to figure out if it is possible to have a truly healthy relationship. We have been together for a little over two years and were friends for a year prior to that. Shortly after we began &quo...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

I don't know about you but here at my home when the weather starts to turn nice and warm my AH drinks more and tends to go out to drink. Like stopping on his way home from work and then driving home. Over the years I have come to this conclusion. Things always get worse when things get nice outside. Like he wa...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi MIP family, Just a quick update on how I'm doing. Not great, not terrible. I'm mostly numb. I heard this is a part of grief. The terrible flashbacks are less frequent, but so too are meaningful and comforting memories of my AH. I remembered I had saved all his letters from rehab, so I read them toni...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Just a reminder to all of us who observe Daylight Savings Time. It starts Sunday at 2am. So remember to set your clocks ahead 1 hour before you go to bed. We loose an hour of but the payoff is we get an extra hour of daylight. Spring has to be around the corner. Enjoy the weekend. Much love and blessing...

Rodney2009 · Rodney2009

I have not been on here for a while. I quit my face to face meetings for alanon cause noone wanted to sponsor me for this I am struggling at moment due to family loss and so on and my family using as well. Thanks hope to get a reply soon. Rodney from Canada clean from Booze since Dec 26 2000

pricklypear · pricklypear

I think the hardest part of everything I am dealing with is being the counselor who helps everyone else. Perhaps a codependency issue. The knowledge has always been there... but has it transcended out of my head to my heart? I need help. I need the wisdom, strength and support of others. I have done t...

Acatnip · Acatnip

First of all, thanks for having a place of refuge online. I never dreamed I would need it but I am grateful you are here. I recently discovered my new husband is an alcoholic. I am truly devastated and heartbroken. While I love this man with my entire being, I know what I must do for my own sake. I just hope h...

newbie46 · newbie46

I just wanted to say that I dont have time for alanon meetings. I come here because this is all I have time for. I have a very busy life and a very busy job. If I were house bound and unable to get out it would be accepted but because I just say I am too busy for meetings, one or two people seem to think they can p...

SoSweet · SoSweet

hello dear friends I am new on this board and I am here because today I decided to not pretend any longer that my husband is not an alcoholic. I cannot convince him to seek help, as you know he has to hit rock bottom first and accept that he has a problem. He thinks because he only drinks when he wants to, (ge...

david62 · david62

Okay, I got a new joke for my "Ya may be an Alanonic" material yesterday. I had to go to Federal jury duty yesterday, 70 miles from my hometown. All the way over there I am hoping very much that I don't get selected to be on the jury because I am on a deadline at work and missing two days for jury dut...

speck31 · speck31

My A is an ex-AB - so he floats in and out of my life on a weekly basis. For the past week, he was back(in my life) after he lost his job and sold everything in his house to pay for an 8 day binge. I didn't know where he was or how he was and vacillated between trying to not care to obsessing about where/how he was...

QOD · QOD

So the texting wars have started today between me and my exAH/bf. I have been waiting for this......he owes me 3 months worth of child support and the child support agency put a note on my acct that they requested it be taken from his tax refund. So I have been waiting for that to hit. It hit today appare...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

So as I had predicted, with the warmer weather comes more drinking. Yes last night was the start of the drinking and driving routine. Which I am sure he is oblivious to. But I am not. I knew it was coming and sure enough. He had to stop on his way home from work for a "meeting" at a bar/restaurant....

intothewoods · intothewoods

So I think the reality is hitting my AH that I am leaving in May after I graduate. He's drinking more and more every night and spiralling down into deep depression. It is a very hard thing to watch, knowing I am powerless. But then again, knowing I am powerless is freeing too. I didn't cause this and I can't...

Jozie · Jozie

WOW... Been Working on some "inner" step 4 work here of late, and have realized something about MY Addictions... At times I have had often wondered exactly "What" my addictions are... I know that Alcohol & Drugs are of course an addiction but "other" things als...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Got news yesterday that a close family friend was critically injured in a 4 wheeler accident over the weekend. He is in ICU and in critical condition. Such a wonderful man, I have been praying for his recovery, If you have a moment would you send a prayer too?? Daughter and I are trying to keep our pos...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

So, things have been alot smoother lately and I credit all of it to the ESH and lessons I've learned here from all of you. The Abf-sober has been keeping up with his therapy and even started meetings. We had a long talk where he expressed his despair over me being closed off to him. I told him what I neede...

rylzmama · rylzmama

Hello there . . .here for advice . . . my alcholic has been sober for 2 months now and is going through alot of different emotions . . .we are a young couple with a one year old daughter. . . i have been through hell with him disappearing for days at a time and using. . . trust is a huge issue we are trying to ge...

maresie · maresie

I've come to realize that what I thought were suggestions were actually things I used to "do" for other people. These days in the reign of let go and let god I do make suggestions and I leave it at that. That is suggestions in terms of what to take for a cold rather than what's wrong with their li...

MapleMom · MapleMom

So things have actually been good for a few days. Husband and I had a great heart to heart a few days ago and really felt a deep connection with each other. I did ask that if he has anything to drink to please not come home, and he said well what if I only have one, I just repeated myself. I do not want him he...

Karilynn · Karilynn

African Proverb (one of my favorites): "To be able to love other people, you must be able to love yourself." Sound familiar? Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I've been off the board for some time. But I have found and moved into my own apartment. I don't have Internet connection there, so am posting at work, but need some support. I woke up this morning with this intense feeling of sadness and emptiness. I felt sick to my stomach that he wasn't there. It felt li...

RockaBetty · RockaBetty

Hi. My husband and I had a long, tearful (drunken for him) talk last night where he said several things that scared me: He said he wanted to die in his sleep. He told me I should divorce him because he can't ever get sober. He told me that he has "secrets". He said that I have never seen him sober...

Gailey · Gailey

when I woke up this morning I had this thought come to my mind that I have been cheated in life. So, I know I am just feeling sorry for myself and when I don't go to Alanon meetings I get into this negative self talk. Here is where it took me: I grew up with an A father and a depressed mother. I always felt out of t...

moonchild · moonchild

Today I had to do the hardest thing a mother should have to do. I had to turn my son (25yrs) out in the cold. No money, no job and no place to go.. I have cried all day and I just want to know if I have done the right thing. He has been a substance abuser for the past 5 yrs. I have bailed him out time and time again. He...

intothewoods · intothewoods

Just a share: So I went to the bookstore to get a book for class. It's one of those stores that has the bargain bookshelves right up front. Literally, as soon as I walk in the the door, the first thing I saw was a Do It Yourself Legal Separation Kit. I stood there for a full minute at least, holding that kit in m...

maresie · maresie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLfmx783oEs One way that I manage to get to some objectivity out of my enmeshment with the ex a (and many many A's in my film) is to watch films and read biographies about them. After many a year of raging and raging about the ex a's behavior I am now (at last) beginning t...

bob6502 · bob6502

Hola mis amigos I am currently attending college to become a certified alcohol and drug counselor. These are some of the things I have learned. 1. We did an exercise in class where people stood in a circle and they were given a label on the inside on their sleeves, and a label on the outside on their back...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

Any good Self-Esteem tools anyone?? Because of the effects of alcholism, many of us have lost our self-esteem (as I). As much as we know our self-worth, how can we get out of the gutter and into self comfort, humor, and self-love once more????

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I cannot control other people Life is not going to go how I "want" it to go it's going to go how it goes. I really don't WANT to fix everyone's problems My thoughts for the day :) My new good friend (ex AH's most recent new ex gf) is a Buddhist and we were having this great discussion about how there...

MapleMom · MapleMom

Hi I am new here and am still coming to terms with accepting the fact that I have no control over my husbands disease, I can not control what days he comes home drunk, I can not control whether or not our next family gathering is going to be a wine fest or not, so I guess I am slowly letting go(tough as nails t...

maresie · maresie

When I met the ex A event hough I was middle aged and had been in therapy for years, I was still in the mode of trying to find someone to make it up to me. I wanted the knight in shining armor, the person who would give me all the love I had missed when I was a child. Most of all I wanted a fall back. I wanted someo...

psynanny · psynanny

I have just discovered that my BF of 2 1/2 years has been lying to me (or keeping frome me) that he is staying in hotels by himself and drinking. He indicates that he is terribly unhappy and going through a really diffficult time. There is no doubt in my mind that he has a dependence or addiction to alcoho...

jandlsmom · jandlsmom

I have been married to my husband for 23 years and feel like I am on a rollercoaster every day of our marriage. I believe that his father was an alcoholic, so I think that has affected him. I was divorced from an alcoholic before I met my husband and I swore that I would never marry another alcoholic. Of cour...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

I work hard each day to make sure that I am working my program, so my life seems a little more normal. I know it's not normal with the AH in it but I can't imagine my life without him. So I have just as many issues as he does. But I was given some great advice the other day, by a wonderful person, to do more than one...

hailiestar · hailiestar

Hello, Hailie here. Reporting for duty! Tonight I am going to attend my first Al-Anon meeting. I made sure to find a beginners meeting so I don't get too confused. I'm a little anxious about the entire thing, it is going to be held in a church and I am so far from religious it isn't even close. Now, what I'm i...

Tracy · Tracy

I have been trying different meetings in the hope I can give my recovery a little bit of a shake up. The meeting I attended last night had the topic caretaking. I have took care of others all my life. I do believe that one of my positive attributes is that I am a caring person who has empathy for others. H...

blender_girl · blender_girl

There was a great share in the meeting this morning about denial - the person who shared had an interesting perspective. She shared that she was in denial that her HP wants to be with her, wants to love her and wants to be there for her. Up until this point, I had always associated denial with negative situ...

blender_girl · blender_girl

Here's what I've been doing - what about you? I took it easy when I was tired. Keep It Simple and Easy Does It at its best. I acknowledged my feelings without beating myself up for feeling them. I went to the chat room when I was feeling out of sorts and safely vented my feelings, received the support and va...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Apparently my offer of giving away free copies of the "Getting Them Sober" volume one, by Toby Rice Drews, has raised the ire of the MIP business group, and they have removed my offer from the board. While this group may, indeed, have the "power" to take such action, could I ple...

MapleMom · MapleMom

Hi, I am new to this forum. I have been to a couple of Al anon meetings, but find that its hard to get to any meeting, because of my kids and other commitments. I have come to realize that I can not go through this alone anymore. I need support. I have just come to terms with the fact that I can not change my h...

fishinmama · fishinmama

OK! Looks like all the paperwork is in so I will not loose my job and will get some money flowing. The world did not end, I did not shread anyone, feel no embarassment and even got the direct phone numbers to the people who can move this along in the future. So there was a reward for keeping my cool. I did not...

maresie · maresie

first of all I grew up without a self protective mechanism in me. My parents did not protect me (and yes I know they were very ill). I never got to internalize boundaries (there were none in my family) or an ability to protect myself. Much of this comes from not being able to really accept and absorb tha...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Even in the midst of the health uncertainty, things have been going well for me. I am slowly finding my way in the insanity of alchoholism and am seeing the serenity at the end of the tunnel. I'm working my program the best that I can, though I know I could do more/better (the perfectionist in me), I am ha...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi family, Well for the first time in a long time I am a single woman. The judge granted the divorce today. A friend from work came with me. She asked me weeks ago and I told her that I thought I would be okay on my own. She would have to take time off from work in order to support me. lol once again I do the "I...

Twiddle · Twiddle

Hello - I've been searching for answers and I'm hoping someone can shed some light for me. Let me explain my situation. Sorry in advance if I might ramble on. My husband and I have been together for 14 years and he quit drinking 7 months ago and joined AA. He was a horrible man to me when he was drinking (e...

mslouise · mslouise

Good morning...I haven't posted in a very long time...my ex-A is a distant part of my life (or I'm trying him to be)....made it clear to please leave me alone, don't call, etc....he is back into drugs now, hanging with bad people.....which is sad, but that's his deal. the thing is, is he does keep calli...

Holly09 · Holly09

To make a very long story short my A boyfriend who over the past 8 years has cut his drinking down to almost a quarter of what he drank when I met him, I think is now popping percocet instead of drinking. I have found them before in his shed and have noticed the difference in his eyes when he takes them. His b...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have two sisters & one step-sister & one sister-in-law! They are all lovely ladies. They are mostly supportive & very loving for the most part. First, I will start with my older sister who I am trying to reach out to starting today. I have made attempts to call her but havent' been too suc...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

Is a feeling that things in my life are temporary a part of the disease that will go away if I work the program? I notice that sometimes I really feel like some things are temporary (for example, sometimes I feel like where I live is just a temporary situation, not really a home), and I'm not sure if it's pa...

lmw · lmw

Last week, my ex-A promised our older daughter he would attend a religious service with the family this evening. This afternoon, he claimed he thought the service was on Friday and he will just take her (not the others) on Friday night. I have to be there this evening with the other two, and therefor...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

At work today I received a phone call from next door neighbour. A friend of AH had been hammering on our front door unable to get an answer - even though he was expected to call for a coffee. Another neighbour was also joining in banging on door and ringing house phone as well. They were worried (having bee...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Oh my goodness I have had a day. Went to the jail to visit son went ok however don't think I will put it on my priority list soon. Then I can home and found out that there has been a qlitch with getting med records to the insurance company. Actually this has been going on for about 3 weeks. I want to have a s...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	just when everything was going so well....... (Preview) i got a call from the doctor today telling me my blood tests have shown a deterioration in my bone density and it looks like i may have osteoporosis. this, two days after being told i need another operation to remove another non cancerous lump!!! that puts my plans back another 3 months! everything,...	miss lucy	6	858	Mar 14, 2010 by miss lucy
	addicted parent visiting children (Preview) I just recently kicked my addicted daughter out of our house which put her four children with their dad full-time. Of course we are still helping with the care. Question, should we allow our addicted daughter refusing treatment to visit the girls age 11, 9 3 & 2?	mgr	9	684	Mar 14, 2010 by Nicomanti
	Lurker in the jungle... (Preview) Hello, I'm new to Alanon but not the effects of alcohol in my marriage to my AH. Have been reading here and can relate to far too many of the frustrations and sadness and...the list goes on and on. Long story short...I'm tired of it. I know that I cannot change, cure nor control him...and his lying is pissi...	DragoN	5	606	Mar 14, 2010 by maresie
	Feeling sorry for myself (Preview) hi guys, mother's day here but not in this house, not a card or wish anywhere in site. I did bring it up and had a meltdown and have cleared all members out of my house, am now making a nice pot of coffee, getting ready to go to a meeting and kind of chuckling to myself as I handed it all over to my hp just about 10 m...	maire rua	5	630	Mar 14, 2010 by maire rua
	Change of heart.... (Preview) (((((((Family))))))), Good morning to you all. After MANY long hours of contemplation, talking with old & new friends I have had a change of heart about leaving MIP. It's been a very long few days. Neither the decision to leave or remain has come lightly and w/o serious consideration. But I h...	Karilynn	21	864	Mar 14, 2010 by Diva
	How do I end the mind games?? (Preview) I went to a F2F meeting and they all agreed that you have to play the mind games and let them back in since you don't know if they will follow though or not. My drug addicted husband will go and use on his days off and not come home, will miss a day of work and then call and say "I wrote letters to you and the k...	Destynee	7	918	Mar 14, 2010 by Mattie
	So full of whys (Preview) Warning this is totally a pity post. Today I am feeling so blue, my emotions are just so raw. I am full of why's. Like why is the man I love an alcoholic, why is my dad an A, why is my brother an A, why is alcohol such an issue with my mother, why is every family function a booze fest, why do I seem to be the only on...	MapleMom	4	570	Mar 14, 2010 by tlcate
	is it possible to have a healthy relationship? (Preview) I just joined this group tonight because I am currently in a relationship with an active alcoholic, and I am trying to figure out if it is possible to have a truly healthy relationship. We have been together for a little over two years and were friends for a year prior to that. Shortly after we began &quo...	indigo1	28	2065	Mar 14, 2010 by DreamXL
	With warm weather comes more drinking (Preview) I don't know about you but here at my home when the weather starts to turn nice and warm my AH drinks more and tends to go out to drink. Like stopping on his way home from work and then driving home. Over the years I have come to this conclusion. Things always get worse when things get nice outside. Like he wa...	wildthang86	5	1121	Mar 14, 2010 by Andrea12
	Letters from rehab (Preview) Hi MIP family, Just a quick update on how I'm doing. Not great, not terrible. I'm mostly numb. I heard this is a part of grief. The terrible flashbacks are less frequent, but so too are meaningful and comforting memories of my AH. I remembered I had saved all his letters from rehab, so I read them toni...	Rocky38	4	617	Mar 14, 2010 by Iamhere
	Daylight Savings Time Reminder (Preview) Just a reminder to all of us who observe Daylight Savings Time. It starts Sunday at 2am. So remember to set your clocks ahead 1 hour before you go to bed. We loose an hour of but the payoff is we get an extra hour of daylight. Spring has to be around the corner. Enjoy the weekend. Much love and blessing...	Karilynn	3	438	Mar 14, 2010 by Iamhere
	hello all: (Preview) I have not been on here for a while. I quit my face to face meetings for alanon cause noone wanted to sponsor me for this I am struggling at moment due to family loss and so on and my family using as well. Thanks hope to get a reply soon. Rodney from Canada clean from Booze since Dec 26 2000	Rodney2009	4	484	Mar 13, 2010 by Rocky38
	Helper Needing Help (Preview) I think the hardest part of everything I am dealing with is being the counselor who helps everyone else. Perhaps a codependency issue. The knowledge has always been there... but has it transcended out of my head to my heart? I need help. I need the wisdom, strength and support of others. I have done t...	pricklypear	8	606	Mar 13, 2010 by Jerry F
	Shell shocked and Brokenhearted (Preview) First of all, thanks for having a place of refuge online. I never dreamed I would need it but I am grateful you are here. I recently discovered my new husband is an alcoholic. I am truly devastated and heartbroken. While I love this man with my entire being, I know what I must do for my own sake. I just hope h...	Acatnip	15	836	Mar 13, 2010 by intothewoods
	Alanon meetings (Preview) I just wanted to say that I dont have time for alanon meetings. I come here because this is all I have time for. I have a very busy life and a very busy job. If I were house bound and unable to get out it would be accepted but because I just say I am too busy for meetings, one or two people seem to think they can p...	newbie46	4	825	Mar 13, 2010 by kcsuper
	He's an Alcoholic and Out of control (Preview) hello dear friends I am new on this board and I am here because today I decided to not pretend any longer that my husband is not an alcoholic. I cannot convince him to seek help, as you know he has to hit rock bottom first and accept that he has a problem. He thinks because he only drinks when he wants to, (ge...	SoSweet	5	763	Mar 13, 2010 by abbyal
	Jury duty (Preview) Okay, I got a new joke for my "Ya may be an Alanonic" material yesterday. I had to go to Federal jury duty yesterday, 70 miles from my hometown. All the way over there I am hoping very much that I don't get selected to be on the jury because I am on a deadline at work and missing two days for jury dut...	david62	11	697	Mar 12, 2010 by supermom
	Frustration with others...and learning to let go. (Preview) My A is an ex-AB - so he floats in and out of my life on a weekly basis. For the past week, he was back(in my life) after he lost his job and sold everything in his house to pay for an 8 day binge. I didn't know where he was or how he was and vacillated between trying to not care to obsessing about where/how he was...	speck31	5	1570	Mar 12, 2010 by Saved By Grace
	Oh the Texting Wars!!! (Preview) So the texting wars have started today between me and my exAH/bf. I have been waiting for this......he owes me 3 months worth of child support and the child support agency put a note on my acct that they requested it be taken from his tax refund. So I have been waiting for that to hit. It hit today appare...	QOD	12	912	Mar 12, 2010 by blender_girl
	I was right about the weather, he went out drinking... (Preview) So as I had predicted, with the warmer weather comes more drinking. Yes last night was the start of the drinking and driving routine. Which I am sure he is oblivious to. But I am not. I knew it was coming and sure enough. He had to stop on his way home from work for a "meeting" at a bar/restaurant....	wildthang86	5	689	Mar 12, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Watching the Cycle of Depression (Preview) So I think the reality is hitting my AH that I am leaving in May after I graduate. He's drinking more and more every night and spiralling down into deep depression. It is a very hard thing to watch, knowing I am powerless. But then again, knowing I am powerless is freeing too. I didn't cause this and I can't...	intothewoods	7	2139	Mar 12, 2010 by John
	My "Not so" Addictive....Addictions.... (Preview) WOW... Been Working on some "inner" step 4 work here of late, and have realized something about MY Addictions... At times I have had often wondered exactly "What" my addictions are... I know that Alcohol & Drugs are of course an addiction but "other" things als...	Jozie	8	693	Mar 12, 2010 by John
	Could you take a moment with HP for us? (Preview) Got news yesterday that a close family friend was critically injured in a 4 wheeler accident over the weekend. He is in ICU and in critical condition. Such a wonderful man, I have been praying for his recovery, If you have a moment would you send a prayer too?? Daughter and I are trying to keep our pos...	fishinmama	5	523	Mar 12, 2010 by John
	Backslid a bit but keeping it positive... (Preview) So, things have been alot smoother lately and I credit all of it to the ESH and lessons I've learned here from all of you. The Abf-sober has been keeping up with his therapy and even started meetings. We had a long talk where he expressed his despair over me being closed off to him. I told him what I neede...	lizzakiss	3	788	Mar 11, 2010 by Jerry F
	AH IN RECOVERY . . . (Preview) Hello there . . .here for advice . . . my alcholic has been sober for 2 months now and is going through alot of different emotions . . .we are a young couple with a one year old daughter. . . i have been through hell with him disappearing for days at a time and using. . . trust is a huge issue we are trying to ge...	rylzmama	6	1073	Mar 11, 2010 by geraldatwork
	Suggesting rather than overdoing. (Preview) I've come to realize that what I thought were suggestions were actually things I used to "do" for other people. These days in the reign of let go and let god I do make suggestions and I leave it at that. That is suggestions in terms of what to take for a cold rather than what's wrong with their li...	maresie	2	666	Mar 11, 2010 by nmike
	Biting my tounge (Preview) So things have actually been good for a few days. Husband and I had a great heart to heart a few days ago and really felt a deep connection with each other. I did ask that if he has anything to drink to please not come home, and he said well what if I only have one, I just repeated myself. I do not want him he...	MapleMom	10	847	Mar 10, 2010 by Suzi1965
	African Proverb (Preview) African Proverb (one of my favorites): "To be able to love other people, you must be able to love yourself." Sound familiar? Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty	Karilynn	2	574	Mar 10, 2010 by Jerry F
	Finally in my new apartment (Preview) I've been off the board for some time. But I have found and moved into my own apartment. I don't have Internet connection there, so am posting at work, but need some support. I woke up this morning with this intense feeling of sadness and emptiness. I felt sick to my stomach that he wasn't there. It felt li...	RunnerChick	12	767	Mar 10, 2010 by Karilynn
	Newbie: How do I get started? (Preview) Hi. My husband and I had a long, tearful (drunken for him) talk last night where he said several things that scared me: He said he wanted to die in his sleep. He told me I should divorce him because he can't ever get sober. He told me that he has "secrets". He said that I have never seen him sober...	RockaBetty	11	710	Mar 10, 2010 by Karilynn
	feeling cheated (Preview) when I woke up this morning I had this thought come to my mind that I have been cheated in life. So, I know I am just feeling sorry for myself and when I don't go to Alanon meetings I get into this negative self talk. Here is where it took me: I grew up with an A father and a depressed mother. I always felt out of t...	Gailey	12	741	Mar 10, 2010 by Karilynn
	Help me please! (Preview) Today I had to do the hardest thing a mother should have to do. I had to turn my son (25yrs) out in the cold. No money, no job and no place to go.. I have cried all day and I just want to know if I have done the right thing. He has been a substance abuser for the past 5 yrs. I have bailed him out time and time again. He...	moonchild	20	797	Mar 10, 2010 by moonchild
	Reminders in Unexpected Places (Preview) Just a share: So I went to the bookstore to get a book for class. It's one of those stores that has the bargain bookshelves right up front. Literally, as soon as I walk in the the door, the first thing I saw was a Do It Yourself Legal Separation Kit. I stood there for a full minute at least, holding that kit in m...	intothewoods	3	574	Mar 10, 2010 by intothewoods
	sense of perspective. (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLfmx783oEs One way that I manage to get to some objectivity out of my enmeshment with the ex a (and many many A's in my film) is to watch films and read biographies about them. After many a year of raging and raging about the ex a's behavior I am now (at last) beginning t...	maresie	7	1485	Mar 9, 2010 by tlcate
	Judgment (Preview) Hola mis amigos I am currently attending college to become a certified alcohol and drug counselor. These are some of the things I have learned. 1. We did an exercise in class where people stood in a circle and they were given a label on the inside on their sleeves, and a label on the outside on their back...	bob6502	10	891	Mar 9, 2010 by tlcate
	Self-esteem tips anyone? (Preview) Any good Self-Esteem tools anyone?? Because of the effects of alcholism, many of us have lost our self-esteem (as I). As much as we know our self-worth, how can we get out of the gutter and into self comfort, humor, and self-love once more????	RoseODAT	8	769	Mar 9, 2010 by Rita G
	Things for me to remember... (Preview) I cannot control other people Life is not going to go how I "want" it to go it's going to go how it goes. I really don't WANT to fix everyone's problems My thoughts for the day :) My new good friend (ex AH's most recent new ex gf) is a Buddhist and we were having this great discussion about how there...	carolinagirl	7	782	Mar 9, 2010 by maresie
	Slowly letting go (Preview) Hi I am new here and am still coming to terms with accepting the fact that I have no control over my husbands disease, I can not control what days he comes home drunk, I can not control whether or not our next family gathering is going to be a wine fest or not, so I guess I am slowly letting go(tough as nails t...	MapleMom	4	1103	Mar 9, 2010 by Iamhere
	symbolic versus reality. (Preview) When I met the ex A event hough I was middle aged and had been in therapy for years, I was still in the mode of trying to find someone to make it up to me. I wanted the knight in shining armor, the person who would give me all the love I had missed when I was a child. Most of all I wanted a fall back. I wanted someo...	maresie	7	1015	Mar 8, 2010 by speck31
	Cheating or addiction? (Preview) I have just discovered that my BF of 2 1/2 years has been lying to me (or keeping frome me) that he is staying in hotels by himself and drinking. He indicates that he is terribly unhappy and going through a really diffficult time. There is no doubt in my mind that he has a dependence or addiction to alcoho...	psynanny	7	933	Mar 8, 2010 by maresie
	Question about attending a meeting (Preview) I have been married to my husband for 23 years and feel like I am on a rollercoaster every day of our marriage. I believe that his father was an alcoholic, so I think that has affected him. I was divorced from an alcoholic before I met my husband and I swore that I would never marry another alcoholic. Of cour...	jandlsmom	11	638	Mar 8, 2010 by jandlsmom
	I work hard each day to work my program!!!! (Preview) I work hard each day to make sure that I am working my program, so my life seems a little more normal. I know it's not normal with the AH in it but I can't imagine my life without him. So I have just as many issues as he does. But I was given some great advice the other day, by a wonderful person, to do more than one...	wildthang86	3	747	Mar 8, 2010 by hotrod
	First Meeting Tonight. (Preview) Hello, Hailie here. Reporting for duty! Tonight I am going to attend my first Al-Anon meeting. I made sure to find a beginners meeting so I don't get too confused. I'm a little anxious about the entire thing, it is going to be held in a church and I am so far from religious it isn't even close. Now, what I'm i...	hailiestar	8	764	Mar 8, 2010 by shell87
	caretaking/controlling (Preview) I have been trying different meetings in the hope I can give my recovery a little bit of a shake up. The meeting I attended last night had the topic caretaking. I have took care of others all my life. I do believe that one of my positive attributes is that I am a caring person who has empathy for others. H...	Tracy	6	1919	Mar 7, 2010 by ythannah
	Perspective on Denial (Preview) There was a great share in the meeting this morning about denial - the person who shared had an interesting perspective. She shared that she was in denial that her HP wants to be with her, wants to love her and wants to be there for her. Up until this point, I had always associated denial with negative situ...	blender_girl	3	548	Mar 7, 2010 by miss lucy
	How have I practiced self-care this week? (Preview) Here's what I've been doing - what about you? I took it easy when I was tired. Keep It Simple and Easy Does It at its best. I acknowledged my feelings without beating myself up for feeling them. I went to the chat room when I was feeling out of sorts and safely vented my feelings, received the support and va...	blender_girl	3	463	Mar 7, 2010 by miss lucy
	What happened to the free book offer?? (Preview) Apparently my offer of giving away free copies of the "Getting Them Sober" volume one, by Toby Rice Drews, has raised the ire of the MIP business group, and they have removed my offer from the board. While this group may, indeed, have the "power" to take such action, could I ple...	canadianguy	11	1329	Mar 7, 2010 by Diva
	New here (Preview) Hi, I am new to this forum. I have been to a couple of Al anon meetings, but find that its hard to get to any meeting, because of my kids and other commitments. I have come to realize that I can not go through this alone anymore. I need support. I have just come to terms with the fact that I can not change my h...	MapleMom	7	567	Mar 7, 2010 by MapleMom
	Lots of wonderful things can happen, usually after I think the sky is falling (Preview) OK! Looks like all the paperwork is in so I will not loose my job and will get some money flowing. The world did not end, I did not shread anyone, feel no embarassment and even got the direct phone numbers to the people who can move this along in the future. So there was a reward for keeping my cool. I did not...	fishinmama	3	692	Mar 6, 2010 by Jerry F
	centering or having a self protective mechanism. (Preview) first of all I grew up without a self protective mechanism in me. My parents did not protect me (and yes I know they were very ill). I never got to internalize boundaries (there were none in my family) or an ability to protect myself. Much of this comes from not being able to really accept and absorb tha...	maresie	3	649	Mar 6, 2010 by kitty
	Dealing wit Fears and Anxiety.........Any ESH appreciated.... (Preview) Even in the midst of the health uncertainty, things have been going well for me. I am slowly finding my way in the insanity of alchoholism and am seeing the serenity at the end of the tunnel. I'm working my program the best that I can, though I know I could do more/better (the perfectionist in me), I am ha...	shellyj123	8	640	Mar 5, 2010 by jpmger
	Divorce (Preview) Hi family, Well for the first time in a long time I am a single woman. The judge granted the divorce today. A friend from work came with me. She asked me weeks ago and I told her that I thought I would be okay on my own. She would have to take time off from work in order to support me. lol once again I do the "I...	Mandy123	9	915	Mar 5, 2010 by barisax
	Confused please lend me your insight (Preview) Hello - I've been searching for answers and I'm hoping someone can shed some light for me. Let me explain my situation. Sorry in advance if I might ramble on. My husband and I have been together for 14 years and he quit drinking 7 months ago and joined AA. He was a horrible man to me when he was drinking (e...	Twiddle	8	941	Mar 5, 2010 by Iamhere
	phone calls (Preview) Good morning...I haven't posted in a very long time...my ex-A is a distant part of my life (or I'm trying him to be)....made it clear to please leave me alone, don't call, etc....he is back into drugs now, hanging with bad people.....which is sad, but that's his deal. the thing is, is he does keep calli...	mslouise	6	635	Mar 5, 2010 by Iamhere
	from one substance to another (Preview) To make a very long story short my A boyfriend who over the past 8 years has cut his drinking down to almost a quarter of what he drank when I met him, I think is now popping percocet instead of drinking. I have found them before in his shed and have noticed the difference in his eyes when he takes them. His b...	Holly09	3	641	Mar 5, 2010 by kitty
	Sisters & what they mean to me! (Preview) I have two sisters & one step-sister & one sister-in-law! They are all lovely ladies. They are mostly supportive & very loving for the most part. First, I will start with my older sister who I am trying to reach out to starting today. I have made attempts to call her but havent' been too suc...	Hoot Nanny	2	818	Mar 4, 2010 by Rocky38
	Feeling that things are temporary (Preview) Is a feeling that things in my life are temporary a part of the disease that will go away if I work the program? I notice that sometimes I really feel like some things are temporary (for example, sometimes I feel like where I live is just a temporary situation, not really a home), and I'm not sure if it's pa...	White Rabbit	3	836	Mar 4, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Selfishness and an A (Preview) Last week, my ex-A promised our older daughter he would attend a religious service with the family this evening. This afternoon, he claimed he thought the service was on Friday and he will just take her (not the others) on Friday night. I have to be there this evening with the other two, and therefor...	lmw	5	808	Mar 4, 2010 by Jerry F
	Still at a loss as to what to do (Preview) At work today I received a phone call from next door neighbour. A friend of AH had been hammering on our front door unable to get an answer - even though he was expected to call for a coffee. Another neighbour was also joining in banging on door and ringing house phone as well. They were worried (having bee...	Tattyhead	6	1117	Mar 4, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	I guess you would call it frustration (Preview) Oh my goodness I have had a day. Went to the jail to visit son went ok however don't think I will put it on my priority list soon. Then I can home and found out that there has been a qlitch with getting med records to the insurance company. Actually this has been going on for about 3 weeks. I want to have a s...	fishinmama	3	836	Mar 3, 2010 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.