Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I'll keep this simple. I have been married for 25+ years to a wonderful man who happens to have the disease of alcoholism. He relapses every 3-5 months. He is active in support groups. I can hardly deal with the relapses after a 10 year period of going through this. It is ugly. I have anxiety and ins...

Nicomanti · Nicomanti

I'll try to make this as short as possible! My mother is a severe alcoholic, the problem is that she hides it pretty well. Her husband works out of town and is very rarely ever home (he also drinks A LOT). She only really has one friend who also drinks a lot, and who she very rarely sees, so no one really sees h...

david62 · david62

Hi Family, I just finished reading "When Love is Not Enough - The Lois Wilson Story" this morning. In it mention is made of the Stepping Stones Foundation that was created near the end of her life to provide for, among other things, the preservation of the home she and Bill shared which they c...

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

Well, what a week, last week has been. To make a long story short, I went on vacation with my sister. I knew that my AH was hitting the bottle hard, I didn't know the last time he had been to work, I didn't check and I didn't call him in. I decided that this was it. He is responsible for himself. I spoke with my d...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family))), With St. Patrick's Day right around the corner, I'd like to offer a suggestion. We all know how hard it can be on all of us - especially with an active A in the house. AS if addicts needed another excuse to drink or drug. (They do it b/c they are addicts.) If things are tough remember th...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Wow I have sat here for a half an hour looking at the computer screen knowing I want to post but what do I want to say. Daughter took my car on Thursday she has a suspended license for DUI. I called her and she let the call go to voice mail...I left message and she called back..Told her to bring car back and s...

Katy · Katy

I think I can change that feeling now into acceptance and humility, I have carried resentment around with me way to long, and when I looked deep into myself, I thought ermmmmmm it's only me keeping this resentment a live, let it go, and swap it for acceptence and low and behold I feel lighter, light bulb m...

MapleMom · MapleMom

So today, I think my lesson for myself is learning to take it one day at a time. AH has his weekly curling game to go to and usually he comes home drunk from this. Since we had our big talk a week ago, things were good and in the past couple of days he has come home after having a couple to last night I know he had...

breezee · breezee

Just heard this recently and wanted to pass along the word... mark your calendars! There will be a hallmark presentation of "Love Is Not Enough: the Lois Wilson Story" starring Winona Ryder to air on sunday, apr 25th, 2010 at 9pm EST on CBS. How's that for alanon going mainstream?! For t...

John · John

Please take a moment or two of your time to read the sticky post title "Message Board Decision Meeting 3/28/10" at the top of this board. Thank you,John

sgac · sgac

Hi,I recently had a resentment with a sponsee. We worked it out and each apologized but now I am experiencing 2 people ion our group that are avoiding eye contact with me. She is friends with these two people, as am I. I want to say something to all parties but am at a loss as to what I would say. I did not go to a...

elzzap · elzzap

Hi all So, 7 months ago I left my alcoholic husband. Technically, he threw me and the kids out in one of his nastier tirades when I told him I was leaving. He had been emotionally and verbally abusive for years, preaching how his drunkeness was always my fault, if only i was more this, or less that, or bet...

fishinmama · fishinmama

This was sent to me via email....I just had to share it. 'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.' When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on this sentence... 'The will...

moonchild · moonchild

Hello Everyone, I just wanted to let you know that it has been a week since I spoke to my A son. As far as I know he is still in hosiptal and trying to find a sober house to go too. Yesturday was tough alot of tears, and questioning my decision to cut him loose. But I made it through and today is a new day, Does it ge...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...this morning while getting ready to park my truck before going to a morning meeting I had an affair!! LOL Don't paint your own picture let me do it. The affair was that while preparing to turn across the on coming lane into the parking stall the person I had an affair with was exercising...

miss lucy · miss lucy

i got a call from the doctor today telling me my blood tests have shown a deterioration in my bone density and it looks like i may have osteoporosis. this, two days after being told i need another operation to remove another non cancerous lump!!! that puts my plans back another 3 months! everything,...

mgr · mgr

I just recently kicked my addicted daughter out of our house which put her four children with their dad full-time. Of course we are still helping with the care. Question, should we allow our addicted daughter refusing treatment to visit the girls age 11, 9 3 & 2?

DragoN · DragoN

Hello, I'm new to Alanon but not the effects of alcohol in my marriage to my AH. Have been reading here and can relate to far too many of the frustrations and sadness and...the list goes on and on. Long story short...I'm tired of it. I know that I cannot change, cure nor control him...and his lying is pissi...

maire rua · maire rua

hi guys, mother's day here but not in this house, not a card or wish anywhere in site. I did bring it up and had a meltdown and have cleared all members out of my house, am now making a nice pot of coffee, getting ready to go to a meeting and kind of chuckling to myself as I handed it all over to my hp just about 10 m...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((Family))))))), Good morning to you all. After MANY long hours of contemplation, talking with old & new friends I have had a change of heart about leaving MIP. It's been a very long few days. Neither the decision to leave or remain has come lightly and w/o serious consideration. But I h...

Destynee · Destynee

I went to a F2F meeting and they all agreed that you have to play the mind games and let them back in since you don't know if they will follow though or not. My drug addicted husband will go and use on his days off and not come home, will miss a day of work and then call and say "I wrote letters to you and the k...

MapleMom · MapleMom

Warning this is totally a pity post. Today I am feeling so blue, my emotions are just so raw. I am full of why's. Like why is the man I love an alcoholic, why is my dad an A, why is my brother an A, why is alcohol such an issue with my mother, why is every family function a booze fest, why do I seem to be the only on...

indigo1 · indigo1

I just joined this group tonight because I am currently in a relationship with an active alcoholic, and I am trying to figure out if it is possible to have a truly healthy relationship. We have been together for a little over two years and were friends for a year prior to that. Shortly after we began &quo...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

I don't know about you but here at my home when the weather starts to turn nice and warm my AH drinks more and tends to go out to drink. Like stopping on his way home from work and then driving home. Over the years I have come to this conclusion. Things always get worse when things get nice outside. Like he wa...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi MIP family, Just a quick update on how I'm doing. Not great, not terrible. I'm mostly numb. I heard this is a part of grief. The terrible flashbacks are less frequent, but so too are meaningful and comforting memories of my AH. I remembered I had saved all his letters from rehab, so I read them toni...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Just a reminder to all of us who observe Daylight Savings Time. It starts Sunday at 2am. So remember to set your clocks ahead 1 hour before you go to bed. We loose an hour of but the payoff is we get an extra hour of daylight. Spring has to be around the corner. Enjoy the weekend. Much love and blessing...

Rodney2009 · Rodney2009

I have not been on here for a while. I quit my face to face meetings for alanon cause noone wanted to sponsor me for this I am struggling at moment due to family loss and so on and my family using as well. Thanks hope to get a reply soon. Rodney from Canada clean from Booze since Dec 26 2000

pricklypear · pricklypear

I think the hardest part of everything I am dealing with is being the counselor who helps everyone else. Perhaps a codependency issue. The knowledge has always been there... but has it transcended out of my head to my heart? I need help. I need the wisdom, strength and support of others. I have done t...

Acatnip · Acatnip

First of all, thanks for having a place of refuge online. I never dreamed I would need it but I am grateful you are here. I recently discovered my new husband is an alcoholic. I am truly devastated and heartbroken. While I love this man with my entire being, I know what I must do for my own sake. I just hope h...

newbie46 · newbie46

I just wanted to say that I dont have time for alanon meetings. I come here because this is all I have time for. I have a very busy life and a very busy job. If I were house bound and unable to get out it would be accepted but because I just say I am too busy for meetings, one or two people seem to think they can p...

SoSweet · SoSweet

hello dear friends I am new on this board and I am here because today I decided to not pretend any longer that my husband is not an alcoholic. I cannot convince him to seek help, as you know he has to hit rock bottom first and accept that he has a problem. He thinks because he only drinks when he wants to, (ge...

david62 · david62

Okay, I got a new joke for my "Ya may be an Alanonic" material yesterday. I had to go to Federal jury duty yesterday, 70 miles from my hometown. All the way over there I am hoping very much that I don't get selected to be on the jury because I am on a deadline at work and missing two days for jury dut...

speck31 · speck31

My A is an ex-AB - so he floats in and out of my life on a weekly basis. For the past week, he was back(in my life) after he lost his job and sold everything in his house to pay for an 8 day binge. I didn't know where he was or how he was and vacillated between trying to not care to obsessing about where/how he was...

QOD · QOD

So the texting wars have started today between me and my exAH/bf. I have been waiting for this......he owes me 3 months worth of child support and the child support agency put a note on my acct that they requested it be taken from his tax refund. So I have been waiting for that to hit. It hit today appare...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

So as I had predicted, with the warmer weather comes more drinking. Yes last night was the start of the drinking and driving routine. Which I am sure he is oblivious to. But I am not. I knew it was coming and sure enough. He had to stop on his way home from work for a "meeting" at a bar/restaurant....

intothewoods · intothewoods

So I think the reality is hitting my AH that I am leaving in May after I graduate. He's drinking more and more every night and spiralling down into deep depression. It is a very hard thing to watch, knowing I am powerless. But then again, knowing I am powerless is freeing too. I didn't cause this and I can't...

Jozie · Jozie

WOW... Been Working on some "inner" step 4 work here of late, and have realized something about MY Addictions... At times I have had often wondered exactly "What" my addictions are... I know that Alcohol & Drugs are of course an addiction but "other" things als...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Got news yesterday that a close family friend was critically injured in a 4 wheeler accident over the weekend. He is in ICU and in critical condition. Such a wonderful man, I have been praying for his recovery, If you have a moment would you send a prayer too?? Daughter and I are trying to keep our pos...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

So, things have been alot smoother lately and I credit all of it to the ESH and lessons I've learned here from all of you. The Abf-sober has been keeping up with his therapy and even started meetings. We had a long talk where he expressed his despair over me being closed off to him. I told him what I neede...

rylzmama · rylzmama

Hello there . . .here for advice . . . my alcholic has been sober for 2 months now and is going through alot of different emotions . . .we are a young couple with a one year old daughter. . . i have been through hell with him disappearing for days at a time and using. . . trust is a huge issue we are trying to ge...

maresie · maresie

I've come to realize that what I thought were suggestions were actually things I used to "do" for other people. These days in the reign of let go and let god I do make suggestions and I leave it at that. That is suggestions in terms of what to take for a cold rather than what's wrong with their li...

MapleMom · MapleMom

So things have actually been good for a few days. Husband and I had a great heart to heart a few days ago and really felt a deep connection with each other. I did ask that if he has anything to drink to please not come home, and he said well what if I only have one, I just repeated myself. I do not want him he...

Karilynn · Karilynn

African Proverb (one of my favorites): "To be able to love other people, you must be able to love yourself." Sound familiar? Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I've been off the board for some time. But I have found and moved into my own apartment. I don't have Internet connection there, so am posting at work, but need some support. I woke up this morning with this intense feeling of sadness and emptiness. I felt sick to my stomach that he wasn't there. It felt li...

RockaBetty · RockaBetty

Hi. My husband and I had a long, tearful (drunken for him) talk last night where he said several things that scared me: He said he wanted to die in his sleep. He told me I should divorce him because he can't ever get sober. He told me that he has "secrets". He said that I have never seen him sober...

Gailey · Gailey

when I woke up this morning I had this thought come to my mind that I have been cheated in life. So, I know I am just feeling sorry for myself and when I don't go to Alanon meetings I get into this negative self talk. Here is where it took me: I grew up with an A father and a depressed mother. I always felt out of t...

moonchild · moonchild

Today I had to do the hardest thing a mother should have to do. I had to turn my son (25yrs) out in the cold. No money, no job and no place to go.. I have cried all day and I just want to know if I have done the right thing. He has been a substance abuser for the past 5 yrs. I have bailed him out time and time again. He...

intothewoods · intothewoods

Just a share: So I went to the bookstore to get a book for class. It's one of those stores that has the bargain bookshelves right up front. Literally, as soon as I walk in the the door, the first thing I saw was a Do It Yourself Legal Separation Kit. I stood there for a full minute at least, holding that kit in m...

maresie · maresie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLfmx783oEs One way that I manage to get to some objectivity out of my enmeshment with the ex a (and many many A's in my film) is to watch films and read biographies about them. After many a year of raging and raging about the ex a's behavior I am now (at last) beginning t...

bob6502 · bob6502

Hola mis amigos I am currently attending college to become a certified alcohol and drug counselor. These are some of the things I have learned. 1. We did an exercise in class where people stood in a circle and they were given a label on the inside on their sleeves, and a label on the outside on their back...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

Any good Self-Esteem tools anyone?? Because of the effects of alcholism, many of us have lost our self-esteem (as I). As much as we know our self-worth, how can we get out of the gutter and into self comfort, humor, and self-love once more????

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I cannot control other people Life is not going to go how I "want" it to go it's going to go how it goes. I really don't WANT to fix everyone's problems My thoughts for the day :) My new good friend (ex AH's most recent new ex gf) is a Buddhist and we were having this great discussion about how there...

MapleMom · MapleMom

Hi I am new here and am still coming to terms with accepting the fact that I have no control over my husbands disease, I can not control what days he comes home drunk, I can not control whether or not our next family gathering is going to be a wine fest or not, so I guess I am slowly letting go(tough as nails t...

maresie · maresie

When I met the ex A event hough I was middle aged and had been in therapy for years, I was still in the mode of trying to find someone to make it up to me. I wanted the knight in shining armor, the person who would give me all the love I had missed when I was a child. Most of all I wanted a fall back. I wanted someo...

psynanny · psynanny

I have just discovered that my BF of 2 1/2 years has been lying to me (or keeping frome me) that he is staying in hotels by himself and drinking. He indicates that he is terribly unhappy and going through a really diffficult time. There is no doubt in my mind that he has a dependence or addiction to alcoho...

jandlsmom · jandlsmom

I have been married to my husband for 23 years and feel like I am on a rollercoaster every day of our marriage. I believe that his father was an alcoholic, so I think that has affected him. I was divorced from an alcoholic before I met my husband and I swore that I would never marry another alcoholic. Of cour...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

I work hard each day to make sure that I am working my program, so my life seems a little more normal. I know it's not normal with the AH in it but I can't imagine my life without him. So I have just as many issues as he does. But I was given some great advice the other day, by a wonderful person, to do more than one...

hailiestar · hailiestar

Hello, Hailie here. Reporting for duty! Tonight I am going to attend my first Al-Anon meeting. I made sure to find a beginners meeting so I don't get too confused. I'm a little anxious about the entire thing, it is going to be held in a church and I am so far from religious it isn't even close. Now, what I'm i...

Tracy · Tracy

I have been trying different meetings in the hope I can give my recovery a little bit of a shake up. The meeting I attended last night had the topic caretaking. I have took care of others all my life. I do believe that one of my positive attributes is that I am a caring person who has empathy for others. H...

blender_girl · blender_girl

There was a great share in the meeting this morning about denial - the person who shared had an interesting perspective. She shared that she was in denial that her HP wants to be with her, wants to love her and wants to be there for her. Up until this point, I had always associated denial with negative situ...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	HOW DO I DETACH??? (Preview) I'll keep this simple. I have been married for 25+ years to a wonderful man who happens to have the disease of alcoholism. He relapses every 3-5 months. He is active in support groups. I can hardly deal with the relapses after a 10 year period of going through this. It is ugly. I have anxiety and ins...	wifeofalcoholic	8	1685	Mar 15, 2010 by xter
	Desperate for advice! (Preview) I'll try to make this as short as possible! My mother is a severe alcoholic, the problem is that she hides it pretty well. Her husband works out of town and is very rarely ever home (he also drinks A LOT). She only really has one friend who also drinks a lot, and who she very rarely sees, so no one really sees h...	Nicomanti	9	1145	Mar 15, 2010 by skootr73
	An Early morning lesson from Lois (Preview) Hi Family, I just finished reading "When Love is Not Enough - The Lois Wilson Story" this morning. In it mention is made of the Stepping Stones Foundation that was created near the end of her life to provide for, among other things, the preservation of the home she and Bill shared which they c...	david62	3	600	Mar 15, 2010 by maresie
	back in treatment (Preview) Well, what a week, last week has been. To make a long story short, I went on vacation with my sister. I knew that my AH was hitting the bottle hard, I didn't know the last time he had been to work, I didn't check and I didn't call him in. I decided that this was it. He is responsible for himself. I spoke with my d...	Sweet Stanley	4	612	Mar 15, 2010 by Karilynn
	A positive twist on St. Patrick's Day (Preview) (((((Family))), With St. Patrick's Day right around the corner, I'd like to offer a suggestion. We all know how hard it can be on all of us - especially with an active A in the house. AS if addicts needed another excuse to drink or drug. (They do it b/c they are addicts.) If things are tough remember th...	Karilynn	3	749	Mar 15, 2010 by MaryPoppins
	I just need to post this... (Preview) Wow I have sat here for a half an hour looking at the computer screen knowing I want to post but what do I want to say. Daughter took my car on Thursday she has a suspended license for DUI. I called her and she let the call go to voice mail...I left message and she called back..Told her to bring car back and s...	fishinmama	7	843	Mar 15, 2010 by fishinmama
	Resentment! (Preview) I think I can change that feeling now into acceptance and humility, I have carried resentment around with me way to long, and when I looked deep into myself, I thought ermmmmmm it's only me keeping this resentment a live, let it go, and swap it for acceptence and low and behold I feel lighter, light bulb m...	Katy	8	796	Mar 15, 2010 by blender_girl
	Me learning one day at a time. (Preview) So today, I think my lesson for myself is learning to take it one day at a time. AH has his weekly curling game to go to and usually he comes home drunk from this. Since we had our big talk a week ago, things were good and in the past couple of days he has come home after having a couple to last night I know he had...	MapleMom	3	577	Mar 15, 2010 by pineapple
	Lois W. story to air on CBS in April (Preview) Just heard this recently and wanted to pass along the word... mark your calendars! There will be a hallmark presentation of "Love Is Not Enough: the Lois Wilson Story" starring Winona Ryder to air on sunday, apr 25th, 2010 at 9pm EST on CBS. How's that for alanon going mainstream?! For t...	breezee	1	857	Mar 15, 2010 by serching-sandy
	While here, please read.... (Preview) Please take a moment or two of your time to read the sticky post title "Message Board Decision Meeting 3/28/10" at the top of this board. Thank you,John	John	0	482	Mar 15, 2010 by John
	resentment (Preview) Hi,I recently had a resentment with a sponsee. We worked it out and each apologized but now I am experiencing 2 people ion our group that are avoiding eye contact with me. She is friends with these two people, as am I. I want to say something to all parties but am at a loss as to what I would say. I did not go to a...	sgac	4	661	Mar 15, 2010 by abbyal
	If I am happy to be out, why does seeing him make me feel crazy? (Preview) Hi all So, 7 months ago I left my alcoholic husband. Technically, he threw me and the kids out in one of his nastier tirades when I told him I was leaving. He had been emotionally and verbally abusive for years, preaching how his drunkeness was always my fault, if only i was more this, or less that, or bet...	elzzap	5	618	Mar 15, 2010 by Jerry F
	liked this and just wanted to share :) (Preview) This was sent to me via email....I just had to share it. 'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.' When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on this sentence... 'The will...	fishinmama	3	638	Mar 14, 2010 by Jerry F
	It's been a week ! (Preview) Hello Everyone, I just wanted to let you know that it has been a week since I spoke to my A son. As far as I know he is still in hosiptal and trying to find a sober house to go too. Yesturday was tough alot of tears, and questioning my decision to cut him loose. But I made it through and today is a new day, Does it ge...	moonchild	7	711	Mar 14, 2010 by moonchild
	"...Practice these principles in all our affairs" (Preview) Aloha Family...this morning while getting ready to park my truck before going to a morning meeting I had an affair!! LOL Don't paint your own picture let me do it. The affair was that while preparing to turn across the on coming lane into the parking stall the person I had an affair with was exercising...	Jerry F	4	1263	Mar 14, 2010 by Maria123
	just when everything was going so well....... (Preview) i got a call from the doctor today telling me my blood tests have shown a deterioration in my bone density and it looks like i may have osteoporosis. this, two days after being told i need another operation to remove another non cancerous lump!!! that puts my plans back another 3 months! everything,...	miss lucy	6	889	Mar 14, 2010 by miss lucy
	addicted parent visiting children (Preview) I just recently kicked my addicted daughter out of our house which put her four children with their dad full-time. Of course we are still helping with the care. Question, should we allow our addicted daughter refusing treatment to visit the girls age 11, 9 3 & 2?	mgr	9	729	Mar 14, 2010 by Nicomanti
	Lurker in the jungle... (Preview) Hello, I'm new to Alanon but not the effects of alcohol in my marriage to my AH. Have been reading here and can relate to far too many of the frustrations and sadness and...the list goes on and on. Long story short...I'm tired of it. I know that I cannot change, cure nor control him...and his lying is pissi...	DragoN	5	637	Mar 14, 2010 by maresie
	Feeling sorry for myself (Preview) hi guys, mother's day here but not in this house, not a card or wish anywhere in site. I did bring it up and had a meltdown and have cleared all members out of my house, am now making a nice pot of coffee, getting ready to go to a meeting and kind of chuckling to myself as I handed it all over to my hp just about 10 m...	maire rua	5	688	Mar 14, 2010 by maire rua
	Change of heart.... (Preview) (((((((Family))))))), Good morning to you all. After MANY long hours of contemplation, talking with old & new friends I have had a change of heart about leaving MIP. It's been a very long few days. Neither the decision to leave or remain has come lightly and w/o serious consideration. But I h...	Karilynn	21	895	Mar 14, 2010 by Diva
	How do I end the mind games?? (Preview) I went to a F2F meeting and they all agreed that you have to play the mind games and let them back in since you don't know if they will follow though or not. My drug addicted husband will go and use on his days off and not come home, will miss a day of work and then call and say "I wrote letters to you and the k...	Destynee	7	966	Mar 14, 2010 by Mattie
	So full of whys (Preview) Warning this is totally a pity post. Today I am feeling so blue, my emotions are just so raw. I am full of why's. Like why is the man I love an alcoholic, why is my dad an A, why is my brother an A, why is alcohol such an issue with my mother, why is every family function a booze fest, why do I seem to be the only on...	MapleMom	4	605	Mar 14, 2010 by tlcate
	is it possible to have a healthy relationship? (Preview) I just joined this group tonight because I am currently in a relationship with an active alcoholic, and I am trying to figure out if it is possible to have a truly healthy relationship. We have been together for a little over two years and were friends for a year prior to that. Shortly after we began &quo...	indigo1	28	2102	Mar 14, 2010 by DreamXL
	With warm weather comes more drinking (Preview) I don't know about you but here at my home when the weather starts to turn nice and warm my AH drinks more and tends to go out to drink. Like stopping on his way home from work and then driving home. Over the years I have come to this conclusion. Things always get worse when things get nice outside. Like he wa...	wildthang86	5	1156	Mar 14, 2010 by Andrea12
	Letters from rehab (Preview) Hi MIP family, Just a quick update on how I'm doing. Not great, not terrible. I'm mostly numb. I heard this is a part of grief. The terrible flashbacks are less frequent, but so too are meaningful and comforting memories of my AH. I remembered I had saved all his letters from rehab, so I read them toni...	Rocky38	4	654	Mar 14, 2010 by Iamhere
	Daylight Savings Time Reminder (Preview) Just a reminder to all of us who observe Daylight Savings Time. It starts Sunday at 2am. So remember to set your clocks ahead 1 hour before you go to bed. We loose an hour of but the payoff is we get an extra hour of daylight. Spring has to be around the corner. Enjoy the weekend. Much love and blessing...	Karilynn	3	470	Mar 14, 2010 by Iamhere
	hello all: (Preview) I have not been on here for a while. I quit my face to face meetings for alanon cause noone wanted to sponsor me for this I am struggling at moment due to family loss and so on and my family using as well. Thanks hope to get a reply soon. Rodney from Canada clean from Booze since Dec 26 2000	Rodney2009	4	517	Mar 13, 2010 by Rocky38
	Helper Needing Help (Preview) I think the hardest part of everything I am dealing with is being the counselor who helps everyone else. Perhaps a codependency issue. The knowledge has always been there... but has it transcended out of my head to my heart? I need help. I need the wisdom, strength and support of others. I have done t...	pricklypear	8	640	Mar 13, 2010 by Jerry F
	Shell shocked and Brokenhearted (Preview) First of all, thanks for having a place of refuge online. I never dreamed I would need it but I am grateful you are here. I recently discovered my new husband is an alcoholic. I am truly devastated and heartbroken. While I love this man with my entire being, I know what I must do for my own sake. I just hope h...	Acatnip	15	884	Mar 13, 2010 by intothewoods
	Alanon meetings (Preview) I just wanted to say that I dont have time for alanon meetings. I come here because this is all I have time for. I have a very busy life and a very busy job. If I were house bound and unable to get out it would be accepted but because I just say I am too busy for meetings, one or two people seem to think they can p...	newbie46	4	862	Mar 13, 2010 by kcsuper
	He's an Alcoholic and Out of control (Preview) hello dear friends I am new on this board and I am here because today I decided to not pretend any longer that my husband is not an alcoholic. I cannot convince him to seek help, as you know he has to hit rock bottom first and accept that he has a problem. He thinks because he only drinks when he wants to, (ge...	SoSweet	5	803	Mar 13, 2010 by abbyal
	Jury duty (Preview) Okay, I got a new joke for my "Ya may be an Alanonic" material yesterday. I had to go to Federal jury duty yesterday, 70 miles from my hometown. All the way over there I am hoping very much that I don't get selected to be on the jury because I am on a deadline at work and missing two days for jury dut...	david62	11	729	Mar 12, 2010 by supermom
	Frustration with others...and learning to let go. (Preview) My A is an ex-AB - so he floats in and out of my life on a weekly basis. For the past week, he was back(in my life) after he lost his job and sold everything in his house to pay for an 8 day binge. I didn't know where he was or how he was and vacillated between trying to not care to obsessing about where/how he was...	speck31	5	1615	Mar 12, 2010 by Saved By Grace
	Oh the Texting Wars!!! (Preview) So the texting wars have started today between me and my exAH/bf. I have been waiting for this......he owes me 3 months worth of child support and the child support agency put a note on my acct that they requested it be taken from his tax refund. So I have been waiting for that to hit. It hit today appare...	QOD	12	950	Mar 12, 2010 by blender_girl
	I was right about the weather, he went out drinking... (Preview) So as I had predicted, with the warmer weather comes more drinking. Yes last night was the start of the drinking and driving routine. Which I am sure he is oblivious to. But I am not. I knew it was coming and sure enough. He had to stop on his way home from work for a "meeting" at a bar/restaurant....	wildthang86	5	726	Mar 12, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Watching the Cycle of Depression (Preview) So I think the reality is hitting my AH that I am leaving in May after I graduate. He's drinking more and more every night and spiralling down into deep depression. It is a very hard thing to watch, knowing I am powerless. But then again, knowing I am powerless is freeing too. I didn't cause this and I can't...	intothewoods	7	2173	Mar 12, 2010 by John
	My "Not so" Addictive....Addictions.... (Preview) WOW... Been Working on some "inner" step 4 work here of late, and have realized something about MY Addictions... At times I have had often wondered exactly "What" my addictions are... I know that Alcohol & Drugs are of course an addiction but "other" things als...	Jozie	8	729	Mar 12, 2010 by John
	Could you take a moment with HP for us? (Preview) Got news yesterday that a close family friend was critically injured in a 4 wheeler accident over the weekend. He is in ICU and in critical condition. Such a wonderful man, I have been praying for his recovery, If you have a moment would you send a prayer too?? Daughter and I are trying to keep our pos...	fishinmama	5	560	Mar 12, 2010 by John
	Backslid a bit but keeping it positive... (Preview) So, things have been alot smoother lately and I credit all of it to the ESH and lessons I've learned here from all of you. The Abf-sober has been keeping up with his therapy and even started meetings. We had a long talk where he expressed his despair over me being closed off to him. I told him what I neede...	lizzakiss	3	829	Mar 11, 2010 by Jerry F
	AH IN RECOVERY . . . (Preview) Hello there . . .here for advice . . . my alcholic has been sober for 2 months now and is going through alot of different emotions . . .we are a young couple with a one year old daughter. . . i have been through hell with him disappearing for days at a time and using. . . trust is a huge issue we are trying to ge...	rylzmama	6	1107	Mar 11, 2010 by geraldatwork
	Suggesting rather than overdoing. (Preview) I've come to realize that what I thought were suggestions were actually things I used to "do" for other people. These days in the reign of let go and let god I do make suggestions and I leave it at that. That is suggestions in terms of what to take for a cold rather than what's wrong with their li...	maresie	2	707	Mar 11, 2010 by nmike
	Biting my tounge (Preview) So things have actually been good for a few days. Husband and I had a great heart to heart a few days ago and really felt a deep connection with each other. I did ask that if he has anything to drink to please not come home, and he said well what if I only have one, I just repeated myself. I do not want him he...	MapleMom	10	882	Mar 10, 2010 by Suzi1965
	African Proverb (Preview) African Proverb (one of my favorites): "To be able to love other people, you must be able to love yourself." Sound familiar? Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty	Karilynn	2	609	Mar 10, 2010 by Jerry F
	Finally in my new apartment (Preview) I've been off the board for some time. But I have found and moved into my own apartment. I don't have Internet connection there, so am posting at work, but need some support. I woke up this morning with this intense feeling of sadness and emptiness. I felt sick to my stomach that he wasn't there. It felt li...	RunnerChick	12	813	Mar 10, 2010 by Karilynn
	Newbie: How do I get started? (Preview) Hi. My husband and I had a long, tearful (drunken for him) talk last night where he said several things that scared me: He said he wanted to die in his sleep. He told me I should divorce him because he can't ever get sober. He told me that he has "secrets". He said that I have never seen him sober...	RockaBetty	11	747	Mar 10, 2010 by Karilynn
	feeling cheated (Preview) when I woke up this morning I had this thought come to my mind that I have been cheated in life. So, I know I am just feeling sorry for myself and when I don't go to Alanon meetings I get into this negative self talk. Here is where it took me: I grew up with an A father and a depressed mother. I always felt out of t...	Gailey	12	773	Mar 10, 2010 by Karilynn
	Help me please! (Preview) Today I had to do the hardest thing a mother should have to do. I had to turn my son (25yrs) out in the cold. No money, no job and no place to go.. I have cried all day and I just want to know if I have done the right thing. He has been a substance abuser for the past 5 yrs. I have bailed him out time and time again. He...	moonchild	20	834	Mar 10, 2010 by moonchild
	Reminders in Unexpected Places (Preview) Just a share: So I went to the bookstore to get a book for class. It's one of those stores that has the bargain bookshelves right up front. Literally, as soon as I walk in the the door, the first thing I saw was a Do It Yourself Legal Separation Kit. I stood there for a full minute at least, holding that kit in m...	intothewoods	3	605	Mar 10, 2010 by intothewoods
	sense of perspective. (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLfmx783oEs One way that I manage to get to some objectivity out of my enmeshment with the ex a (and many many A's in my film) is to watch films and read biographies about them. After many a year of raging and raging about the ex a's behavior I am now (at last) beginning t...	maresie	7	1529	Mar 9, 2010 by tlcate
	Judgment (Preview) Hola mis amigos I am currently attending college to become a certified alcohol and drug counselor. These are some of the things I have learned. 1. We did an exercise in class where people stood in a circle and they were given a label on the inside on their sleeves, and a label on the outside on their back...	bob6502	10	921	Mar 9, 2010 by tlcate
	Self-esteem tips anyone? (Preview) Any good Self-Esteem tools anyone?? Because of the effects of alcholism, many of us have lost our self-esteem (as I). As much as we know our self-worth, how can we get out of the gutter and into self comfort, humor, and self-love once more????	RoseODAT	8	806	Mar 9, 2010 by Rita G
	Things for me to remember... (Preview) I cannot control other people Life is not going to go how I "want" it to go it's going to go how it goes. I really don't WANT to fix everyone's problems My thoughts for the day :) My new good friend (ex AH's most recent new ex gf) is a Buddhist and we were having this great discussion about how there...	carolinagirl	7	822	Mar 9, 2010 by maresie
	Slowly letting go (Preview) Hi I am new here and am still coming to terms with accepting the fact that I have no control over my husbands disease, I can not control what days he comes home drunk, I can not control whether or not our next family gathering is going to be a wine fest or not, so I guess I am slowly letting go(tough as nails t...	MapleMom	4	1143	Mar 9, 2010 by Iamhere
	symbolic versus reality. (Preview) When I met the ex A event hough I was middle aged and had been in therapy for years, I was still in the mode of trying to find someone to make it up to me. I wanted the knight in shining armor, the person who would give me all the love I had missed when I was a child. Most of all I wanted a fall back. I wanted someo...	maresie	7	1068	Mar 8, 2010 by speck31
	Cheating or addiction? (Preview) I have just discovered that my BF of 2 1/2 years has been lying to me (or keeping frome me) that he is staying in hotels by himself and drinking. He indicates that he is terribly unhappy and going through a really diffficult time. There is no doubt in my mind that he has a dependence or addiction to alcoho...	psynanny	7	965	Mar 8, 2010 by maresie
	Question about attending a meeting (Preview) I have been married to my husband for 23 years and feel like I am on a rollercoaster every day of our marriage. I believe that his father was an alcoholic, so I think that has affected him. I was divorced from an alcoholic before I met my husband and I swore that I would never marry another alcoholic. Of cour...	jandlsmom	11	687	Mar 8, 2010 by jandlsmom
	I work hard each day to work my program!!!! (Preview) I work hard each day to make sure that I am working my program, so my life seems a little more normal. I know it's not normal with the AH in it but I can't imagine my life without him. So I have just as many issues as he does. But I was given some great advice the other day, by a wonderful person, to do more than one...	wildthang86	3	806	Mar 8, 2010 by hotrod
	First Meeting Tonight. (Preview) Hello, Hailie here. Reporting for duty! Tonight I am going to attend my first Al-Anon meeting. I made sure to find a beginners meeting so I don't get too confused. I'm a little anxious about the entire thing, it is going to be held in a church and I am so far from religious it isn't even close. Now, what I'm i...	hailiestar	8	805	Mar 8, 2010 by shell87
	caretaking/controlling (Preview) I have been trying different meetings in the hope I can give my recovery a little bit of a shake up. The meeting I attended last night had the topic caretaking. I have took care of others all my life. I do believe that one of my positive attributes is that I am a caring person who has empathy for others. H...	Tracy	6	1955	Mar 7, 2010 by ythannah
	Perspective on Denial (Preview) There was a great share in the meeting this morning about denial - the person who shared had an interesting perspective. She shared that she was in denial that her HP wants to be with her, wants to love her and wants to be there for her. Up until this point, I had always associated denial with negative situ...	blender_girl	3	584	Mar 7, 2010 by miss lucy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.