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improvements
(Preview)
I'm keeping up with my meetings this time around and have been so much better with my thinking and attitude since. One thing I have noticed at the meetings nowdays. I catch myself smiling alot and can laugh about things. When I attended meetings years ago I was so serious and unhappy and I didn't underst...
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buick23
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6
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704
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Questions about Alanon face to face meeting last night
(Preview)
I would like to recant this post. I understand what you are all saying. Thanks -- Edited by Maize on Tuesday 3rd of August 2010 08:12:39 AM -- Edited by Maize on Tuesday 3rd of August 2010 05:59:26 PM
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Maize
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15
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1456
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mother in law sober 43 years today!
(Preview)
a great lady and a great accomplishment. gotta love someone who has 10 kids, 15 grandkids and stayed sober and sane! she's aptly named Joy as for my husband, sober over 100 days now. hope it stays that way, every now and then my apprehension creeps in...
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oscarmom
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4
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737
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Trying to hang in there....
(Preview)
My marriage is at a point where I'm actually grateful on the days there isn't a crisis and it proceeds normally. Of course normal in my marriage is zero affection form wife, zero help from wife and , zero common courtesy from the wife. The only saving grace is my daughter is wonderful and I love my litt...
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mjhyankees
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8
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731
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Keeping my mouth shut?
(Preview)
Well, my AH whom I recently separated from (three weeks ago) asked me for money last week. He's got a stable career, has not provided any child support for the last two weeks (as I'm letting him fix the financialy situation before we get back together).....I did give him back two hundered dollars to cat...
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RoseODAT
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4
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779
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maybe the problem is my thinking.....
(Preview)
Considering the idea that I wouldn't be any more happy or satisfied if I met my goals and dreams. Maybe they wouldn't be good enough once I had them. That's definately something I could believe about myself. I do need to appreciate what's around me and what I do have and can do now.
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mjhyankees
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11
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1082
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Missing My ex
(Preview)
Hi Friends,First, I want to say that I am usually a "lurker". Sometimes, when I am in sick thinking, I come to the boards and read your posts, and it really helps to know that there are so many people out here experiencing similar things. So- thank you! I came to Al Anon 8 months ago, after brea...
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hopeforme
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8
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866
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Did you happen to see Dr. Phil?
(Preview)
This is a show that I don't watch. Some how it ended up on that channel on Friday and it caught my eye. I pretty much had the TV on for background noise and lo and behold. As I mentioned in a previous post the show was about addiction with children and the parents were coming to Dr Phil for help. He sent the...
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fishinmama
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5
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1075
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Watching myself
(Preview)
Well I have not mentioned this because I have been here before with my ex husband, but this time it feels different. My son is an alcoholic/addict. He has struggled for some time. He got two duii's in a month spent time in jail and I think I mentioned here he got the book thrown at him. The Judge had a dau...
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fishinmama
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6
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762
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update...
(Preview)
THE MEMORIAL SERVICE WENT WELL...MY PHONE RANG DURING THE END--I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD BUT MY HUSBAND FELT HE NEEDED TO CALL! I WAS MAD AT HIM FOR QUITE A WHILE BECAUSE I WAS EMBARASSED & SOME OF IT WAS ON TV! HE WAS AN AFRICAN AMERICAN THAT RECEIVED THE MEDAL OF HONOR FROM THE ARMY IN WWII PLUS OTHER DI...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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585
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here we go again
(Preview)
as i stated in my other post, hes been home two weeks and is already drinking and lyeing on a regular basis. They say in al anon that we dont have to accept unacceptable behavior, Im pretty much at that point. My husband has left me without a vehicle due to wrecking two in a matter of days. He is driving arou...
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kablisnow
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5
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636
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To forgive is devine
(Preview)
Does anyone have any special experience with a very difficulity situation, where perhaps the A "down plays" it or says it didn't happen the way you feel it did or says you have "issues" instead of just admitting his part and saying he's sorry? I truely want to forgive but seem to &...
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glad
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9
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536
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need help living in the present
(Preview)
This seems to be a lifelong problem for me....I always feel that at best I've got one foot in the present and the other foot in some future desire, fantasy, or outcome. In other words lately I spend my days dreaming of being married to someone else, moving to a town I really like(probably couldn't affor...
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mjhyankees
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5
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907
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hard day
(Preview)
I woke up feeling great. I saw a truck on my way into work that's business logo on the side read "Boundaries" (it was a landscaping truck). I know my HP was telling me to watch my boundaries today and so my ex husband is giving me a hard time. My name is on the mortgage of our condo and he is telli...
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Maize
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4
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608
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My first post
(Preview)
Hello all, I have been in a long term relationship with my partner who is a ACOA. I just reintroduced myself to ACOA literature and was very relieved to read about my ACApartner and her Afamily. We are getting ready to adopt our 2yo son and are really struggling within our relationship due to issues invo...
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movinforward
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4
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637
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I hate this disease!!
(Preview)
I am very tired and have had a very emotional day so, I hope this post makes sense...... I was having a really down day and thought I would do something nice for someone to try and pick myself up a bit. I had told my soon to be ex A that I had some Grad photos of our son for him. So today was the day I decided to drop...
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shadow1
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12
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798
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How do I explain alcoholism to a 7 year old?
(Preview)
I am an adult child of an alcoholic. I am also married to an alcoholic. We have a 7 year old girl. It is difficult to put this kind of situation into simple terms but I will try: My husband is a very happy drunk... until my daughter goes to bed. He is not physically or verbally abusive at all. He just goes to wor...
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Desirae
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8
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9600
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New here and need help
(Preview)
Hi everyone- I am 28 and recently threw my 30 year old boyfriend (now ex) out on Wednesday because I no longer could handle his actions. He is an alcoholic (sorry for the obvious) and he simply cannot function without it. He began laying out of work and going to his buddy's house to drink rather than worki...
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bgrasp
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5
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655
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Someone please tell me how to do this..
(Preview)
Iv been with my ah for a very long time and he was sober for 10 years. He started drinking again 6 mnths ago. I left after 9 years of dealing with his crap the first time then he quit and because I love him, I came back, thinking he would never drink again. What in the hell was I thinking. We have two teenage kid...
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renee26
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7
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1069
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Changing the things I can...
(Preview)
I am working on learning to meditate. I can do it when I am in therapy, no problem, my therapist can take me down into a trance state and that is great. I am working on being able to do it on my own. I found a CD that has meditations on it that work on panic attacks (something I suffer with). So I am working on...
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Maize
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6
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700
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DRY DRUNK!!!! HELP
(Preview)
My husband is a dry drunk - he used to be such a happy man - now he went thru depression which I didnt know was a sympthom of alcoholism - learning so much here - but I feel he just blames so much on me - gets so angry at me when I questioned it and told me to leave him alone that he is sick of me - Oh boy so much fun here L...
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LIGHTBULB
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9
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1892
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the next right thing
(Preview)
Somedays I can manage to get through all the next right things I need to do in order to move my life to another level. I'm discovering the issue isn't the next right thing (which I can of course attend to) the issue is that I really don't want to do that. I want someone else to take responsibility for my lif...
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maresie
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7
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1167
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Should I do what he asks?
(Preview)
AH has been off of prescription clonazepam and Effexor for over a month. I have written before to describe his paranoid behaviours. Much of the time, things go reasonably well (although he still doesn't help out around the house even though he is on sick leave). However, I can usually count on somethi...
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looking_for_peace
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11
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788
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Fear, Loneliness and Confusion...
(Preview)
I'm a newbie to the program, I just started going to meetings 3 weeks ago. My boyfriend was in a treatment center this past winter/spring and "planted the seed" that it may be good for me. I'm not exactly sure how to begin here so I'll just jump in..He and I got engaged in February and I found out...
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susie56543
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7
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834
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3 Years Today Since I lost my Husband and Children lost thier Father
(Preview)
((((((((((((Dear Friends)))))))))), Today is 3 years since the death of my soul mate my dear husband Chuck. Tomorrow he would have been 53. I find as the time goes by I don't look so much on the bad anymore and I can see how and why I loved this man so very much. The anger had control of me for a very long time...
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Andrea12
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11
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996
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Questions
(Preview)
I am really new to all of this, so please forgive me if I jabber on...where does one start...ok, if there is a God, do you think he/she decides who gets what kind of life? What I mean is, why are some people blessed and others not? If it's original sin then it stands to reason that all women suffer, so I don't b...
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rockernapstar
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7
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685
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Looking for direction.
(Preview)
Hi there. Last night my husband and I had a long discussion about his soberity, and Al-anon was mentioned in the mists of it. He suggested that I look into finding my own support group. So, here I am. Now what? Will someone please direct me in where to start?
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youmeandthesethree
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8
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573
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Need to talk
(Preview)
I am sick. My son has called twice this morning from the recovery house. He was mad and told me to come get him. I told him I couldn't. He wasn't suppose to be able to make phone calls until Monday. He was very mad. Tell me what you think... Please..... When he entered the program this week they told him in f...
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okwitt
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12
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576
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PLEASE EXPLAIN HOW TO ME
(Preview)
Please explain how you can not get crazy in a crazy situation. I mean tonight my A son who is 25 and my AH are both intoxicated and they take turns tearing me down and trying to blame me. I sit here typing to you and trying to tune them out. They want me to drive them to the liquor store and that got an absolutel...
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myself
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7
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798
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Anyone else find this strange or sad???
(Preview)
I go to a therapist who is a female, younger than me so there is no "mother figure" involved here. What I found was that, aside from my mother (who despite her faults has been pretty loving and accepting of me my whole life), my therapist is the closest female in my life. And certainly I share...
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mjhyankees
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10
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838
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Happy Birthday Hotrod!!!!! (Tomorrow)
(Preview)
Posting the night before so you see it first thing in the morning!!! You are such a wonderful person, have been there for so many here at MIP, and your recovery is rock solid. Thank you so much for being a part of this family. You inspire me. I hope you have a wonderful day. Tricia
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tlcate
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12
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618
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New to al anon...but not new to living with an alcoholic.
(Preview)
Yesterday was definitely not a happy day at our house.My AH of 17 years went on a binge and came home to spread his mood around.I normally would pack the kids up and take off.I don't like to hang around and argue...because I can't get a point across to the drunk guy. Anyway...the van wouldn't start due to a...
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disneygirl71
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13
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1144
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liars
(Preview)
They are such liars. He tried to cover up for himself by getting mad at me and making assumptions. I was minding my own business. Such a liar. Enough Seriously Guess it's a duck. Had to get this out before I go on with my day. buick
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buick23
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6
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750
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I don't know what is worse---Dry or wet drunks
(Preview)
Hello everyone! I have been away for a while (not recovery, but the board) and I just wanted to share about my dry drunk sister Growing up in an alcoholic family and marrying problem drinkers, and also becoming problem drinkers ourselves- I do believe that mine was symptomatic of my pain- Possibly her...
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neshema2
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10
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1247
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Help - what do you do with the pain?
(Preview)
I feel trapped. I thought I had a good morning. went running, prayed and meditated. then thought I set a boundary. it backfired and he again threatens the end of the relationship. this is so messed up. I am told that I shouldn't talk to him. that he hasn't got recovery and will take everything as a threat....
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Ash
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7
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629
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Sharing a JOKE....
(Preview)
Please take none of this seriously cause it is light fare with a smidgen of the disease sprinkled around it. It was emailed to me by a cousin I use to partake in the disease with. I feel glad to have been throughly cracked up this joke without taking any one little piece of it seriously unlike before when...
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Jerry F
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8
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682
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Working hard on EVERYTHING
(Preview)
My friend in recovery is coming home in 2 weeks. The codependent person in me is worried about how he will do when he does get back. The person in me that is changing and working on things through my learnings in Alanon is saying "live for today, you can do this, don't worry about when he gets here a...
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Maize
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4
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522
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Severe kick up the butt needed......thanks in advance!
(Preview)
Hi All.....Im on a right downer at the mo and not much good to man nor beast.... A damn big black cloud is surrounding me and isnt shifting. It was my birthday yesterday...yay.... and for the 1st time in 3 yrs I got a lovely card from Ason....who is currently two weeks into a 16 week rehab, ..... but I just f...
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Ness
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13
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1349
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Changed for good
(Preview)
Hi ((((friends))))!! It seems I live my life with songs constantly playing in my head (usually James Taylor-love that man!!!). Maybe because I almost always have the radio or CD playing? Anyway, it occurred to me that the messages from songs are a very powerful influence in my life and always had been...
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never going back
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4
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708
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so...he moved out and now he is getting married!!!!!
(Preview)
My son finally moved out with his girlfriend. After about 2 weeks at her house he announces that they are getting married. WTH!!!!! I truly do not believe it is love but more convenience. I know I must stay out of his business. They are having a small wedding. I have been told to just embrace their decis...
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Gailey
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8
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741
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I Saw My AS Today....
(Preview)
I was washing my supper dishes when the doorbell rang. He was standing at my back door, I went out to talk to him and of course I alreading knew what he was going to say before he even said it. He blamed everyone for his drug problem, his school mates taunting him, he wasn't taught about the real world by us...
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DreamsOver
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7
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792
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PATRIOTISM
(Preview)
I AM VERY HAPPY TO REPORT THAT I AM ATTENDING A MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR A FORMER HIGHLY-DECORATED WWII VETERAN. IT WILL BE A VERY HUGE CELEBRATION OF LIFE IN MY HOMETOWN TOMORROW. I FEEL HONORED TO ATTEND THIS. HE GOT THE CONGRESSIONAL MEDAL OF HONOR FROM A FORMER PRESIDENT IN THE 90'S & I JUST WANTED T...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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571
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Brand new to this...
(Preview)
Hi there, I am Maize. I am 35 and new to all of this. I have spent a year and a half in intense therapy, with 5 days in the hospital for feeling suicidal. I was trapped in an awful and abusive marriage. I felt alone and didn't want to go on. On to bigger and brighter things, and I am divorced and free now! I...
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Maize
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16
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780
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Really amazing the powerful emotions I have where ex-AH is concerned.
(Preview)
Yesterday I finally got to the court and filed for divorce. It's the beginning of the paperwork, but it was a step I finally needed to get under way. I took the day off to make sure I got down to the courthouse instead of trying to squeeze in an extra hour or two off from work. I called AH and let him know and tol...
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Aloha
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2
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594
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It's Amazing
(Preview)
how the arrival and presence of a child can calm rough waters and chronic negativity. Avery Leipua (flower lei) arrived at 3:20PM, 11 days early and a little light at 6lbs 11ozs and angel pink. She caused the whole family to focus for a while and smile for no other reason than she was calming. Grandso...
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Jerry F
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16
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918
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Ok...gratitude time.....
(Preview)
I've been venting alot of negative stuff lately and I thank all of you for your patience with me. I feel I have legitimate reasons to be unhappy and despite things I can do to "distract myself" (because that's all they really are, there's nothing that's truly going to bring lasting happine...
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mjhyankees
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4
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651
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What else? It's my son.
(Preview)
My A adult son got into the recovery house for 30 intense training days. I want to be hopeful..but reading on here seems they usually start back drinking. I have felt such a weight lifted off me while he is there. I could really get used to this...then reality sets in with him back with no job and on and on an...
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okwitt
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4
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645
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Staying positive?
(Preview)
I didn't sleep well last night. I had to fight my depression this morning alone, as when I was feeling it, I didn't feel I could call anyone that early in the morning. I fought through and I am working on staying positive now. I know that for me, when I don't sleep well, my depression and panic attacks ha...
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Maize
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8
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720
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So Grateful
(Preview)
Went to an open AA/Alanon meeting tonight. We had a video on the 12 step program. After the video, was open discussion. It just made me think to myself how grateful I was to be in attendance there and to be able to come here and share/read/vent/respond to different posts. So, I just wanted to tell you a...
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Sweet Stanley
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5
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455
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Fear
(Preview)
I am in the process of trying to buy my first house. I am doing it 100% on my own with nothing but a lot of advice from others . Fear can be so destructive!!! My fear translates to procrastination. Do something other than what you are afraid of and deal with it when it gets here. Go have fun, bury myself in w...
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tlcate
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6
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724
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Found my way back... :)
(Preview)
Hey Guys... Wow... I Just went & Looked at my last Post and somehow it has been a MONTH since you have last heard from me ;( Just wanted to let all know that I am Doing OK... The Trip to meet my New Found Friend was Wonderful, I only got to see her for about 5 hours, because they had to work the next morning, ...
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Jozie
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6
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725
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Trying to Get Thru to my Son
(Preview)
(((((Friends))))), Ok, today is another day.....have taken my son's car from him..he is 18 and what else can I do...I can only do this because it is in my name and I know his car means everything to him.... Now I don't know what this will accomplish or even if it will accomplish anything however it's wort...
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Andrea12
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6
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692
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I fear I'm loosing it. This is getting worse day by day...
(Preview)
Hi all. I am currently finding this program very hard. I know that it is the only way and that I need to keep working it, but its getting harder. I think Im experiencing some sort of a withdrawal from my alcoholic ex-girlfriend. I havent heard from her in a month. She was doing her step work in AA and was ad...
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Cosmos
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7
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1141
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What a thought
(Preview)
Had a little a ha moment this morning and want to share it. I was doing some talking with my HP. I was asking my hp to help me love him as I was having a bit of an acceptance problem. An acceptance problem I have practiced over and over again. The answer Why don't you trust I love you. Oh my goodness, I want t...
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fishinmama
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4
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761
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Anyone else reading and using
(Preview)
"As We Understood" a great piece of CAL literature thats been around since the 80ies and came out of the Quebec International? Wednesday Night Turning Point (our home group) did the meeting from it on prayer and meditation. I don't think a meeting could have been better that what we had....
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Jerry F
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6
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774
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Trying not to be mad at myself
(Preview)
Today I am wondering why I didn't leave the first time he used any mind altering substance, but I didn't. ( Because I hoped it was just once). So here I am, I married him 3 years ago and now I only get a glimpse of who sober hubby is. Somedays I can remember he is sick, others I wonder why I would pick a "los...
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miss_carol
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4
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796
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Alcoholic pets!
(Preview)
Jerry you floor me, lol, I was an avid alcoholic pet collector, pet defect owner was me, my friend pointed this out not so long backlol, Why she said do you always go for the sickly ones, why not choose the happy healthy ones with smiley faces and waggly tails? Well I always felt sorry for the sickly ones,...
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Katy
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2
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696
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Today...I am takin control over my life.
(Preview)
I am new to Alanon. I tried going to meetings before and things kinda got better and I stopped going, plus three young kids and full time job made it difficult. I know I need to get back to being me! Things have recently, built up and are about to come crashing down. I can know longer trust my AH to take car...
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ziggymiller
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4
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775
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Control & Higher Power
(Preview)
I wish I could be constant positivity.......I wish I could be a jolly little trooper all the time......and I wish I had it together.......... Ok, So about two hours ago my cell phone fell in a university public toilet as I swung my purse around in the stall...........And for this insignificant litt...
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RoseODAT
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4
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765
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Presents and booze
(Preview)
Last night my AH came home drunk BUT with a cellphone I've been telling him I want. I took it, told him thanks and did not speak to him for the rest of the night cause I only had mean things to say to him. He of course was acting like an idiot and even had the nerve to tell me that I was ungrateful for not gushing ov...
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Priscilla83
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2
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635
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