The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This seems to be a lifelong problem for me....I always feel that at best I've got one foot in the present and the other foot in some future desire, fantasy, or outcome. In other words lately I spend my days dreaming of being married to someone else, moving to a town I really like(probably couldn't afford to live there anyway), being retired or in a different career etc. It robs me of my ability to enjoy what's happening now. It also hurts my motivation to do anything about "now". As simple as not taking pride in how the house looks, putting off maintenance etc because "I may not be here much longer"..stuff like that. Any ideas on how to be rooted in the present and live in the moment better? Other than trying to catch myself dreaming of Ms. Charming, and my dream job.....and "snapping out of it"...how do I then live in the present? What's the technique or trick to doing this?
Today is all we have.... tomorrow hasn't come and yesterday is gone, this is what i tell myself everyday. I just try to make the best of right now, what i need right now, what needs to be done right now. I may not even be here tomorrow who knows It is great to have dreams to work towards, to get those dreams though you have to work each day to achieve them. What can you do today to further your dream... take care of the house if you expect to sell someday, take care of yourself so you have a long happy life. Living with one foot in the past and one in the future robs you of the joys of today Blessings
Hi Living in the present became possible for me when I decided to closely moniter my inner thoughts. When I found myself drifting to the past or future with worry or fantasy, I would use a slogan repeatedly or the serenity prayer to bring me back to the present moment. I really had to work the program to lift the resntments and anger that wa keeping me anchored to the past but that too was an in the moment job. Today stying in the day is all I am able to do
Definately practice, which is what folks have suggested. A slogan to help remind you.
For me that is very true. But first, I had to recognize what the fret and worry about the future (and the past) really rewarded me in the end. A lot of worry! That is what I got out of it. And the realization that I was the ONLY one who was going to change that. I do not control as much as I think I do and truly learning to let go of the results plays a part in all of this.
Once that understanding was there, the rest was a little easier. . . Repetition. And when I would start spinning out of "now" I would bring my focus in REALLY close. I would stop what I am doing and feel what was touching my body (chair, keyboard, grass . . . ), the immediate smells, sights and so forth. I would then run through my gratitude list. That usually brought me around fairly quickly and there are times where I would have to do it often.
Sounds like a lot, but can happen in a couple of deep breaths believe it or not. Just pause, take a few deep breaths and give those things some thought.
Practice, practice, practice.
That is what worked for me. Still a work in progress, but the difference has been wonderful.
Now for the fantasy part . . . I think fantasy can be an important thing in people's lives and keep us healthy - sort of like a child using their imagination. But it can run away from us and rob us of our gratitude for what we have today. I try to be careful with that.
tlc
-- Edited by tlcate on Monday 2nd of August 2010 04:53:03 PM
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To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.
