The material presented
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am very tired and have had a very emotional day so, I hope this post makes sense......
I was having a really down day and thought I would do something nice for someone to try and pick myself up a bit. I had told my soon to be ex A that I had some Grad photos of our son for him. So today was the day I decided to drop them off at his house. I choose today for 2 reasons ..... one, I was down and 2 he is usually out of town on the weekends. I pulled up infront of his house and his truck was no where to be seen so, I thought it was safe (so i didn't run into him) for me to drop the photos into the mail box. As I was almost at the mailbox he came around the corner UGH! I stopped and said "hi" and handed him the photos.... He could hardly walk without staggering and when I looked at him I realized just how bad the disease has him! I truly don't think he will make it more than a year if he doesn't find recovery. He is so thin and his face is starting to swell.
I am just so sad to see what this disease has done to a man that I once loved......It is so heartbreaking......
When I understood the hold the disease had on my AH, when I could see it might kill him, these were the times when I wanted to take control back from HP. Of course I knew that this was futile. Instead, I continued to love the man and hate the disease. If asked for recovery help, I provided it. I was kind and gentle with him. As you are in giving him the graduation photos. In the end, his HP took him to rest. I miss him terribly, but know the disease no longer has him. We can only keep the focus on ourselves to be the best "me" I can be.
This disease is heartbreaking to watch. You did a very kind thing. I'm sure that deep down inside he is greatful for that. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I know what you mean. I plan to drop things off when my Ahsober isn't home. If I accidentally run into him, it just upsets me. He doesn't drink but he seems to have all the characteristics.
(((Shadow))) I know exactly what you mean - I live with it every day. It is a horrible, disgusting, heartbreaking disease. Even though I still live with my AH I feel as though he left me about 6 years ago. Some days are better than others. Lets hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
Thank you all for your kind thoughts and understanding.I feel so much better after posting. I'm am sad that we are all in a situation that can relate to this horrible disease but, it sure is nice to know that the support from this wonderful group will never waiver.
I sat next to a man in a bar and listened to hime tell me he was on his third liver as he drank straight liquor.. You just cant deal with that kind of insanity. Its like negotiating with a terrorist.
