Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

melanie2590 · melanie2590

I think my husband may have a problem. We have been married for 6 1/2 yrs and we have two children. When he was younger, he got into a lot of trouble because of alcohol. He has two DWIs and an MIP from before I met him. For years, we never drank at all. Within the past two years, we both started drinking sociall...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

but with no success . I got him into the car, but once I explained to him that I wanted to take him somewhere so that he could "rest" and receive regular meals, and get him some decent clothes, it was on. He became belligerent, to the point of opening the car door with us going down the highway doi...

maresie · maresie

This weekend I read a book on assessing people before you let them into your life. The topic was actually depression which the author saw as a relational issue rather than a physical one. That brought me to thinking do I carry on with people who press the boundary all the time. I have an acqautance (at...

RedHead · RedHead

I have been married to an alcoholic for 17 years. Some of this time we were separated because of his drinking. I took him back because he was sober for months and attending meetings. But, I think, he is drinking again. We have a fourteen year old son who has unfortunately been apart of all his dad's dra...

suzip · suzip

F2F meeting tonight about tolerance... I'd like to think that I'm tolerant, but maybe not so much sometimes. As long as my boundaries are not crossed, I am pretty tolerant. Not trying to control anyone but myself and taking one day at a time keeps me on track. Sometimes its just hard to let go of that con...

rainbojo66 · rainbojo66

wow...what has it been now...like 3 weeks? My reactions to things have changed so dramatically (because I listen to my HP and my smart sponsor who has been there done that and got out alive lol) that people have no clue what to do with me. But I find the calmer I am, the more engraged my sister gets now. It...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I AM NOT GOING TO EXCUSE MYSELF BUT LATELY IT REALLY HAS BEEN EVIDENT OF GOD'S PRESENCE IN MY LIFE LATELY. I AM MORE THAN GRATEFUL IF IT IS POSSIBLE TO BE SO! TO ALL YOU NEW PEOPLE, I CAN SEE HOW THIS MIGHT BE A TOUCHY SUBJECT! BUT HERE I GO: LATELY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SHOWING UP IN MY LIFE AT THE EXACT TIME I HAVE BE...

FlyingSquirrel · FlyingSquirrel

(It was suggested that I repost this here and get your comments) Will someone just shoot me now and put me out of my misery? God I always just wanted to shake Charlie Brown and say, snap out of it man, she's gonna pull that football away every time, don't BELIEVE her this time! So my wife, from whom I'm sepa...

luv123 · luv123

2. Obsessive thnking is a big thing to address when we first come to program and on going...--the alc. has the disease of the "drinking" while we have the disease of the "thinking". (also, probably a big part of why the alc. wants to aenesthetize himself--to get out of head). we d...

Slugcat · Slugcat

If this is wrong place to post this please tell me and dont get mad just tell me and I wont post about this again ok. I need avice how to react when talking to relative whos addicted to food. This is how our conversations go usually. Me: i am so worried about you, how is your health. Him: Oh no need to worry abo...

Heartbreak5 · Heartbreak5

I am a new member and in desperate need of advice. My 30 y.o. daughter is a severe alcoholic. She has 2 children and recently left her husband. She just moved next door, to me. Initially, I thought this would be healthy for my grandchildren, as I'd be available to & for them. We have a uniquely b...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

....maybe anyone who has tried this. I put my adult son out of my mother's house about 9 weeks ago because of all the reasons you have to go to such an extreme. He made his way back and got into her house last night, today I went up there to check on him and he looks like h#ll. I have never, in the last ten years o...

lantana · lantana

I am unable to alter my living situation at the moment. Currently: 1. my mother, who is a long term alcoholic with rages.2. my father, who drinks heavily and daily.3. my brother, who does not drink but has a serious mental illness. I will move out as soon as I am able. In the meantime, if you have any experi...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Sometimes I think that this stuff is no big deal until I compare it to the past before recovery. The milestone is that tomorrow is our (current wife and I) 16th wedding anniversary. Put all of our past marriages together and our time together and the length of our marriage out lasts them all. What the...

applecake · applecake

He broke down. After 2 1/2 days of cold, painful, silent hostility, he finally said to me last night that "he wasn't mad at me anymore." This opened up a door to a looooong talk. He admitted to me that he'd spent the last two days building up a huge argument/attack in his mind against me, but...

Slugcat · Slugcat

Not sure where I belong as far as meetings go but I know I got to learn to detach. I am killing myself with fear and worry about other people and addictions (as well as everything else I am obsessing about). Do you have any good things about how a newcomer to this idea would learn about detachment? Someone...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

My children are 7 and 9. I have always avoided telling them the truth about their dad. It was easy to hide it, lie about it, etc. b/c they were young and I was always around them. Unfortunately, they are witnessing more arguments between us b/c of the drinking...specifically the fact they are not allowe...

suzip · suzip

Days gone by I had prayed for peace in my life, prayed to be able to handle all that was handed to me, prayed my kids would turn out ok with the alcoholism that runs in our family. How I love my just for today bookmark, keeping me on track to not worry about everyone else, taking every day as it comes. Today, af...

Slugcat · Slugcat

wrote a big long rant and i cant post it sorry -- Edited by Slugcat on Sunday 22nd of August 2010 07:49:14 PM

LynninCalif · LynninCalif

I am 4th from the oldest of 9 children. 7 of them are alcoholics and or drug addicted! I finally decided I need to talk to others in the same boat. I have been dealing with this for over 30 years! My mom is 76 and calls me all the time worried or crying over my brothers especially! I just want it to stop. I tried...

freeagain · freeagain

I was raised to be an alcoholic. My mother is a classic enabler. So, she raised me to be a drunk. And I tried really hard to BE an A. I drank, I manipulated, I lied, I cheated, I stole, I was entitled, I used drugs, I disrespected myself and everyone else, I was in trouble with the law, I normalized my behavior...

Slugcat · Slugcat

person i am worried about it, that particular person is not an alki so i dont know if i can post here again about him. hes on the otherside of the planet to me.like 36 hour journey, 26 hours in flights. ive not seen him in 3 years. i feel desperate to go see him. somehow if i go there i can drag him to a meeting or...

applecake · applecake

So, I messed up. I blew up at him. After a full 24 hours of the silent treatment, I asked him what he was so upset about. He said that "what [I'm] doing is really sh***y." (What I'M doing??? So many possible responses to this, none of them constructive...) I asked him what he thought I was d...

tidalwave · tidalwave

My son is gone ,he is consumed by something i cannot control and it is ripping my heart out.The pain is so excruciating i can hardly breath.Since he was 15 i have been on a rollacoaster ride to now he is 21.Where did my son go he was such a lovely child.The hopelessness i feel at not being able to save him is ki...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

My husband, with few exceptions, relapses on a Saturday. I work all day; he does not. He has alot of free time on his hands. Would it be supportive or controlling to change the days I work or take off some weekends or is this just not taking care of myself and taking care of him? Thank you. I always know I...

renee26 · renee26

My ah finally stopped drinking. For now. It took our 13 yr old daughter finally stepping in and telling him he was ruining himself, and his family. And Im grateful he stopped. Im trying to be ok and happy and act like everything is ok cuz I dnt want him to start again. For my kids sake and for his own, but its n...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

Last week I let my 7-year-old daughter stay at our trailer alone with my AH. They stayed 3 nights. On the 3rd night I couldn't shake the feeling that he was drinking, so I drove out. I was correct. His eyes were bloodshot, his speech was slightly slurred. She happened to have a dental appt. the next day, so...

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

I need some advise here. I (and my AH) attended a birthday party on Saturday for our now 3 year old granddaughter. We were there for about 3 1/2 hours, for the picnic, opening of gifts, and for the cake. Then the booze started coming out and knowing how uncomfortable I get with "that", we went h...

Lem · Lem

I've been in Al-Anon quite a long time, but slipped today by not going to a meeting but doing another activity instead. I was so depleted and negative at work after this, that I know that I effected other people and I was miserable. I could really use some support. I'll plan to go to a meeting late...

Katy · Katy

Ok then my husband and I descussed what boundaries we needed to set with our son, and the consequences, they are very basic, deadlines for coming home, letting us know where he is and who he is with, and making his probation attendence top priority, followed by better selfcare washing and getting prop...

Ri · Ri

Ok, has been a week since I talked with my parents about getting back together with my sober ABF. The reception was better that I could have imagined. No screaming, yelling and crying. My mother is having a harder time with it, as she is super attached to my daughter, which I can totally understand. Of c...

kath · kath

Wish I would not compare myself to others. There was a lady this evening talking about how her daughter had two kids, was working full time, and going to school. Well I immediately related it to my life thinking that my choice to work part time and go to school part time and raise my three children (single...

sg · sg

My apologies if I shouldn't put this link up here, but I did purchase a book using the links provided on MIP and received this book yesterday..."Struggle for Intimacy" (dedicated to adult children of alcoholics) written by Janet Geringer Woititz. I sat down to read it and I couldn't put it down. V...

blender_girl · blender_girl

DENIAL Don't Even kNow I Am Lying Thought it was quite profound and decided to share with y'all.

luv123 · luv123

If u need support, in addition tothis and chat room outreach--please remember to go on the phone bridge meetings. It is a VA number and at the end there are often ppl who leave their number for sponsor calls. (not every meeting, but at least half). At 712-432-8733 pin is 52639. These phone bridge-con...

browneyes · browneyes

Hi , I'm broweyes I used to come here a lot. Thank you John for inviting me back. This past year has been filled with trouble and heartache. I started having panic attacks right before my husband was to get out of jail once again. I have been on all kinds of medication and it seems to have been working. But I q...

lmw · lmw

When my ex-AH was drinking in the spring, I told him if he slipped again, he'd have to be sober for a month before he could see the kids again. I'd discussed it with all three kids' counselors, and we all felt it was appropriate. We moved out to get away from the day-to-day insanity of alcoholism; I don't...

shnook · shnook

My husband has been drinking for many years. Two years ago I told him he needed to get it under control within the next year. He continued to drink excessively until about month 10. At that time I asked him if he had any plans of reigning it in, he didn't even know when the year started. So.....he qui...

glad · glad

I can't seem to get heart around how to (from my deepest truest self) forgive someone who deflects and dismisses attempts to resolve an issue with him. I've been trying to "let go and let God" .... Uhhhh,, not happening after 5 years.. so is acceptance and "blind" forgiv...

Maize · Maize

I don't know what happened, my bf came back from rehab this past weekend and was doing well all week, going to AA every day and even went two times one day. He is living with his parents, who started Alanon but are not really working the program at all. They were supposed to give him his check book back an...

applecake · applecake

I told my husband that I had a meeting to go to. I'd decided that if he asked me what meeting it was, I would tell him. I'm pretty involved in some social things/organizations, and "going to a meeting" is pretty common for me. So he didn't ask before I left. I'm glad, because it was really ha...

DareToDream · DareToDream

My AH boyfriend left with one suitcase 3 weeks ago. took one week before he called and then called everyday but I did not answer. Finally, last week, I decided I needed to talk to him to see what was going on. He said he left because he felt like a burden after the disagreement we had. he was staying between a...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello again, It's been way too long since I've posted, though I've read often. For those of you who remember me, things have gotten better here, and for those of you who don't remember me, well, I'm really not any different than you. Two years ago, when I became a member, I was so scared, so unsure, so UN...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Like I said on Monday, now it is Thurs., you can be a blessing to anyone. I feel like just today I made a few peoples' days just by a smile & a positive comment. I think I will start using affirmations as well. I really need a pick-me-up now & then, Today is one of them(just because). For the last year...

Ness · Ness

Dear Friends I apologise in advance for this vent, but I've just had it. As if there wasnt enough crap raining down on my family Im now reeling in shock, my cousin who I love like a brother, (we were brought up together) has been diagnosed today with a lump in his lung. CT scan tomorrow followed by a biopsy....

jitsuka · jitsuka

Had enough with the A partner. Come home and she's been in the sole care of 3 year old daughter (although she does go to day nursery). Parter is so obviously under the influence she's reeling. Oh here we go again, another joyful evening I think. I just can't be bothered and just ignore her. She tries to goa...

Allee · Allee

My husband has had over 20 years sobrierity due to alcohol. However, within the past few years he has become addicted to pain medication. He was prescribed the medication due to two failed back surgeries. The doctor basically gave him carte blanche with the quantity and frequency he would prescr...

never going back · never going back

Well, I attended my eighth, and most likley my last, F2F meeting last night. As I've said before, it is the ONLY meeting held in my area. If I get desperate, there is meeting about an hour away. I attended this one once and it was great. I know if Iget introuble, I canalways go to this meeting and I will feel...

applecake · applecake

Hi. I found this board this morning. I will be going to my first "real" alanon meeting tonight. I just can't take it anymore. The few friends who know about my situation sympathize, but have no idea what to say to me...I feel very alone when it comes to this. A little brief history: DH &am...

membee · membee

I have depression and am also a spouse of an of alcoholic. My DH has been sober 5 months now and I am more depressed, confused, and worried than before even though he has made some very healthy changes in his life. Anyone else have this experience? I find it hard to focus on myself ... Have to admit I do mor...

Gailey · Gailey

This reading hit me like a ton of bricks. I LOVED SOMEONE THAT COULDN'T BE TRUSTED...it made me very sad but it forces me to look at the reality that is my life. My son is sick and I cannot believe most things that he tells me. I cannot trust him ever to do what he says he is going to do I think the emotional part...

miss_carol · miss_carol

I am so tired. The last few days have been a real reminder of the sickness in my AH and myself. I am emotionally hung over. Yuck. I did recognize my part in it right away, well it was a little to late because the ball was rolling. The question was "Are you at the bar?" Silly me, I know better. It bec...

Aloha · Aloha

I've been feeling sort of "blaaaah" lately. I might attribute some of it to normal cyclical changes in hormone levels, but certainly just not feeling totally chipper and enthusiastic towards life in general. When living with my AH there was always HIM. Something wasn't going right it wa...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I do not want to have to do this. I do not want to have to get a restraining order, I do not want to have to deal with the state and get no contact a part of a parole agreement, I do not want to have to deal with my xah's 'ism's anymore. I chose divorce, I chose no further contact ... and if I respect that I can't make...

Bettina · Bettina

Its been two months and a few days since the XAH almost met his maker. The Doctors worked so hard at saving his life , it took two days to stabilize him. A ruptured esophagus and multiple ulcers. Only 10 % survive a ruptured esophagus. Survive he did. After the surgery, I drove him home from the hospital....

fairee · fairee

ive been in recovery for long enough that my son was born when i was 5years sober..the program carried me through many difficulties...got more into alanon after my husband left us and I got together with old bf from past (ran into him at AA dance) after we got hooked up found him to be chronic relapse guy a...

mrphunny · mrphunny

Hello. I'm still new to Al-Anon (just over a month) and I know it may be too soon to be asking such a question, but how do I go about finding a sponsor? At meetings, they don't seem to ask who is willing to be a sponsor, as I've seen in open AA meetings. And I don't know the proper way to approach someone or what t...

rainbojo66 · rainbojo66

Good day my recovering family, since coming here, about 2 weeks ago, I have experienced so much. I am so much less HOPELESS about things. But, I am STUCK. I don't feel ANYTHING. I don't feel sad...or happy. Joy...or pain. Nothing. Nada. I feel passionless about my life. After seeing my sister and her a...

buick23 · buick23

Was getting ready to go to my f2f meeting. Bf asked "Why are you going to those f*****ing meetings anyway?" Thanks to alanon I answered "Because I choose to." Yes, I had other answers in my head that were sarcastic but I didn't go that way. That question was still bothering me at my...

chauri · chauri

Hi all, It's been a while since I posted. last weekend our daughter had an incident. blah blah etc., She is an alcoholic, has medical problems. so we stepped in to helpher. She realizes her problem an is WILLING to get help. I love her and am greatful for that. Now it's up to her and her HP. My problem?/ I al...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Feeling lost. (Preview) I think my husband may have a problem. We have been married for 6 1/2 yrs and we have two children. When he was younger, he got into a lot of trouble because of alcohol. He has two DWIs and an MIP from before I met him. For years, we never drank at all. Within the past two years, we both started drinking sociall...	melanie2590	8	816	Aug 24, 2010 by stopandchat
	Tried Hard..... (Preview) but with no success . I got him into the car, but once I explained to him that I wanted to take him somewhere so that he could "rest" and receive regular meals, and get him some decent clothes, it was on. He became belligerent, to the point of opening the car door with us going down the highway doi...	DreamsOver	9	886	Aug 24, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	Who do you invite into your life? (Preview) This weekend I read a book on assessing people before you let them into your life. The topic was actually depression which the author saw as a relational issue rather than a physical one. That brought me to thinking do I carry on with people who press the boundary all the time. I have an acqautance (at...	maresie	6	839	Aug 24, 2010 by maresie
	Fourteen year old son (Preview) I have been married to an alcoholic for 17 years. Some of this time we were separated because of his drinking. I took him back because he was sober for months and attending meetings. But, I think, he is drinking again. We have a fourteen year old son who has unfortunately been apart of all his dad's dra...	RedHead	5	660	Aug 24, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Tolerance..Intolerance (Preview) F2F meeting tonight about tolerance... I'd like to think that I'm tolerant, but maybe not so much sometimes. As long as my boundaries are not crossed, I am pretty tolerant. Not trying to control anyone but myself and taking one day at a time keeps me on track. Sometimes its just hard to let go of that con...	suzip	6	2943	Aug 24, 2010 by abbyal
	Changes... (Preview) wow...what has it been now...like 3 weeks? My reactions to things have changed so dramatically (because I listen to my HP and my smart sponsor who has been there done that and got out alive lol) that people have no clue what to do with me. But I find the calmer I am, the more engraged my sister gets now. It...	rainbojo66	3	634	Aug 24, 2010 by rainbojo66
	pardon me; but it is a God-thing! (Preview) I AM NOT GOING TO EXCUSE MYSELF BUT LATELY IT REALLY HAS BEEN EVIDENT OF GOD'S PRESENCE IN MY LIFE LATELY. I AM MORE THAN GRATEFUL IF IT IS POSSIBLE TO BE SO! TO ALL YOU NEW PEOPLE, I CAN SEE HOW THIS MIGHT BE A TOUCHY SUBJECT! BUT HERE I GO: LATELY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SHOWING UP IN MY LIFE AT THE EXACT TIME I HAVE BE...	Hoot Nanny	5	854	Aug 24, 2010 by Hoot Nanny
	Me: Charlie Brown, Her: Lucy (Preview) (It was suggested that I repost this here and get your comments) Will someone just shoot me now and put me out of my misery? God I always just wanted to shake Charlie Brown and say, snap out of it man, she's gonna pull that football away every time, don't BELIEVE her this time! So my wife, from whom I'm sepa...	FlyingSquirrel	6	1081	Aug 24, 2010 by Bettina
	Letting go Obsessive thoughts (Preview) 2. Obsessive thnking is a big thing to address when we first come to program and on going...--the alc. has the disease of the "drinking" while we have the disease of the "thinking". (also, probably a big part of why the alc. wants to aenesthetize himself--to get out of head). we d...	luv123	4	1989	Aug 24, 2010 by Maize
	what do i say when talking to relative (Preview) If this is wrong place to post this please tell me and dont get mad just tell me and I wont post about this again ok. I need avice how to react when talking to relative whos addicted to food. This is how our conversations go usually. Me: i am so worried about you, how is your health. Him: Oh no need to worry abo...	Slugcat	7	808	Aug 24, 2010 by Slugcat
	My Alcoholic Daughter-How Do I Start A Discussion (Preview) I am a new member and in desperate need of advice. My 30 y.o. daughter is a severe alcoholic. She has 2 children and recently left her husband. She just moved next door, to me. Initially, I thought this would be healthy for my grandchildren, as I'd be available to & for them. We have a uniquely b...	Heartbreak5	7	2816	Aug 24, 2010 by Heartbreak5
	I Need Advice...... (Preview) ....maybe anyone who has tried this. I put my adult son out of my mother's house about 9 weeks ago because of all the reasons you have to go to such an extreme. He made his way back and got into her house last night, today I went up there to check on him and he looks like h#ll. I have never, in the last ten years o...	DreamsOver	11	740	Aug 24, 2010 by freefalling
	When codependents cause harm (Preview) I am unable to alter my living situation at the moment. Currently: 1. my mother, who is a long term alcoholic with rages.2. my father, who drinks heavily and daily.3. my brother, who does not drink but has a serious mental illness. I will move out as soon as I am able. In the meantime, if you have any experi...	lantana	8	1166	Aug 23, 2010 by Mattie
	A milestone and a miracle... (Preview) Sometimes I think that this stuff is no big deal until I compare it to the past before recovery. The milestone is that tomorrow is our (current wife and I) 16th wedding anniversary. Put all of our past marriages together and our time together and the length of our marriage out lasts them all. What the...	Jerry F	19	1046	Aug 23, 2010 by Jozie
	miracle #1 (Preview) He broke down. After 2 1/2 days of cold, painful, silent hostility, he finally said to me last night that "he wasn't mad at me anymore." This opened up a door to a looooong talk. He admitted to me that he'd spent the last two days building up a huge argument/attack in his mind against me, but...	applecake	7	718	Aug 23, 2010 by All I can be
	How do you do detachment? (Preview) Not sure where I belong as far as meetings go but I know I got to learn to detach. I am killing myself with fear and worry about other people and addictions (as well as everything else I am obsessing about). Do you have any good things about how a newcomer to this idea would learn about detachment? Someone...	Slugcat	9	1437	Aug 23, 2010 by kitty
	Finally told my kids their dad is an Alcoholic (Preview) My children are 7 and 9. I have always avoided telling them the truth about their dad. It was easy to hide it, lie about it, etc. b/c they were young and I was always around them. Unfortunately, they are witnessing more arguments between us b/c of the drinking...specifically the fact they are not allowe...	looking_for_peace	7	2096	Aug 23, 2010 by abbyal
	In a good place (Preview) Days gone by I had prayed for peace in my life, prayed to be able to handle all that was handed to me, prayed my kids would turn out ok with the alcoholism that runs in our family. How I love my just for today bookmark, keeping me on track to not worry about everyone else, taking every day as it comes. Today, af...	suzip	3	676	Aug 22, 2010 by pineapple
	ignore this (Preview) wrote a big long rant and i cant post it sorry -- Edited by Slugcat on Sunday 22nd of August 2010 07:49:14 PM	Slugcat	1	538	Aug 22, 2010 by pineapple
	Going crazy from alcoholic, dyfunctional family! (Preview) I am 4th from the oldest of 9 children. 7 of them are alcoholics and or drug addicted! I finally decided I need to talk to others in the same boat. I have been dealing with this for over 30 years! My mom is 76 and calls me all the time worried or crying over my brothers especially! I just want it to stop. I tried...	LynninCalif	18	1251	Aug 22, 2010 by LynninCalif
	raised to be an alcoholic (Preview) I was raised to be an alcoholic. My mother is a classic enabler. So, she raised me to be a drunk. And I tried really hard to BE an A. I drank, I manipulated, I lied, I cheated, I stole, I was entitled, I used drugs, I disrespected myself and everyone else, I was in trouble with the law, I normalized my behavior...	freeagain	6	626	Aug 22, 2010 by maresie
	powerless sorry this is a not sure if this ok to post here (Preview) person i am worried about it, that particular person is not an alki so i dont know if i can post here again about him. hes on the otherside of the planet to me.like 36 hour journey, 26 hours in flights. ive not seen him in 3 years. i feel desperate to go see him. somehow if i go there i can drag him to a meeting or...	Slugcat	8	615	Aug 22, 2010 by maresie
	Day 2 of the hostility :( (Preview) So, I messed up. I blew up at him. After a full 24 hours of the silent treatment, I asked him what he was so upset about. He said that "what [I'm] doing is really sh*y." (What I'M** doing??? So many possible responses to this, none of them constructive...) I asked him what he thought I was d...	applecake	17	894	Aug 22, 2010 by maresie
	my beutiful baby boy (Preview) My son is gone ,he is consumed by something i cannot control and it is ripping my heart out.The pain is so excruciating i can hardly breath.Since he was 15 i have been on a rollacoaster ride to now he is 21.Where did my son go he was such a lovely child.The hopelessness i feel at not being able to save him is ki...	tidalwave	8	941	Aug 22, 2010 by xeno59
	Is this Support or Control??? (Preview) My husband, with few exceptions, relapses on a Saturday. I work all day; he does not. He has alot of free time on his hands. Would it be supportive or controlling to change the days I work or take off some weekends or is this just not taking care of myself and taking care of him? Thank you. I always know I...	wifeofalcoholic	11	793	Aug 22, 2010 by smartkat
	He stopped drinking but Im still so angry all the time.. (Preview) My ah finally stopped drinking. For now. It took our 13 yr old daughter finally stepping in and telling him he was ruining himself, and his family. And Im grateful he stopped. Im trying to be ok and happy and act like everything is ok cuz I dnt want him to start again. For my kids sake and for his own, but its n...	renee26	5	825	Aug 22, 2010 by RedHead
	Merry-go-round continues-LONG (Preview) Last week I let my 7-year-old daughter stay at our trailer alone with my AH. They stayed 3 nights. On the 3rd night I couldn't shake the feeling that he was drinking, so I drove out. I was correct. His eyes were bloodshot, his speech was slightly slurred. She happened to have a dental appt. the next day, so...	looking_for_peace	4	785	Aug 22, 2010 by RedHead
	handled incorrectly? (Preview) I need some advise here. I (and my AH) attended a birthday party on Saturday for our now 3 year old granddaughter. We were there for about 3 1/2 hours, for the picnic, opening of gifts, and for the cake. Then the booze started coming out and knowing how uncomfortable I get with "that", we went h...	Sweet Stanley	10	1200	Aug 21, 2010 by Lem
	A slip...(slips) (Preview) I've been in Al-Anon quite a long time, but slipped today by not going to a meeting but doing another activity instead. I was so depleted and negative at work after this, that I know that I effected other people and I was miserable. I could really use some support. I'll plan to go to a meeting late...	Lem	9	1293	Aug 21, 2010 by Lem
	Just want some esh! (Preview) Ok then my husband and I descussed what boundaries we needed to set with our son, and the consequences, they are very basic, deadlines for coming home, letting us know where he is and who he is with, and making his probation attendence top priority, followed by better selfcare washing and getting prop...	Katy	7	788	Aug 21, 2010 by xeno59
	Update...the hard part is over... (Preview) Ok, has been a week since I talked with my parents about getting back together with my sober ABF. The reception was better that I could have imagined. No screaming, yelling and crying. My mother is having a harder time with it, as she is super attached to my daughter, which I can totally understand. Of c...	Ri	6	618	Aug 21, 2010 by xeno59
	being hypersensitive (Preview) Wish I would not compare myself to others. There was a lady this evening talking about how her daughter had two kids, was working full time, and going to school. Well I immediately related it to my life thinking that my choice to work part time and go to school part time and raise my three children (single...	kath	4	798	Aug 21, 2010 by Jerry F
	"Struggle for Intimacy"-great read! (Preview) My apologies if I shouldn't put this link up here, but I did purchase a book using the links provided on MIP and received this book yesterday..."Struggle for Intimacy" (dedicated to adult children of alcoholics) written by Janet Geringer Woititz. I sat down to read it and I couldn't put it down. V...	sg	2	977	Aug 21, 2010 by shellsea
	New (to me) acronym (Preview) DENIAL Don't Even kNow I Am Lying Thought it was quite profound and decided to share with y'all.	blender_girl	5	1059	Aug 21, 2010 by luv123
	Phone Bridge mtngs (Preview) If u need support, in addition tothis and chat room outreach--please remember to go on the phone bridge meetings. It is a VA number and at the end there are often ppl who leave their number for sponsor calls. (not every meeting, but at least half). At 712-432-8733 pin is 52639. These phone bridge-con...	luv123	2	7180	Aug 21, 2010 by luv123
	Feel like a failure (Preview) Hi , I'm broweyes I used to come here a lot. Thank you John for inviting me back. This past year has been filled with trouble and heartache. I started having panic attacks right before my husband was to get out of jail once again. I have been on all kinds of medication and it seems to have been working. But I q...	browneyes	6	953	Aug 21, 2010 by browneyes
	Missing Kids and Consequences (Preview) When my ex-AH was drinking in the spring, I told him if he slipped again, he'd have to be sober for a month before he could see the kids again. I'd discussed it with all three kids' counselors, and we all felt it was appropriate. We moved out to get away from the day-to-day insanity of alcoholism; I don't...	lmw	5	826	Aug 21, 2010 by Mattie
	It's sad (Preview) My husband has been drinking for many years. Two years ago I told him he needed to get it under control within the next year. He continued to drink excessively until about month 10. At that time I asked him if he had any plans of reigning it in, he didn't even know when the year started. So.....he qui...	shnook	6	906	Aug 20, 2010 by Bettina
	Acceptance and Forgiveness (Preview) I can't seem to get heart around how to (from my deepest truest self) forgive someone who deflects and dismisses attempts to resolve an issue with him. I've been trying to "let go and let God" .... Uhhhh,, not happening after 5 years.. so is acceptance and "blind" forgiv...	glad	5	1263	Aug 20, 2010 by Jerry F
	So he slipped and so did I (Preview) I don't know what happened, my bf came back from rehab this past weekend and was doing well all week, going to AA every day and even went two times one day. He is living with his parents, who started Alanon but are not really working the program at all. They were supposed to give him his check book back an...	Maize	6	800	Aug 20, 2010 by Maize
	Went to my first F2F last night...and AH's response (Preview) I told my husband that I had a meeting to go to. I'd decided that if he asked me what meeting it was, I would tell him. I'm pretty involved in some social things/organizations, and "going to a meeting" is pretty common for me. So he didn't ask before I left. I'm glad, because it was really ha...	applecake	8	852	Aug 20, 2010 by Jerry F
	Struggling with concern (Preview) My AH boyfriend left with one suitcase 3 weeks ago. took one week before he called and then called everyday but I did not answer. Finally, last week, I decided I needed to talk to him to see what was going on. He said he left because he felt like a burden after the disagreement we had. he was staying between a...	DareToDream	17	1054	Aug 20, 2010 by DareToDream
	Changes (Preview) Hello again, It's been way too long since I've posted, though I've read often. For those of you who remember me, things have gotten better here, and for those of you who don't remember me, well, I'm really not any different than you. Two years ago, when I became a member, I was so scared, so unsure, so UN...	liljeannie	3	704	Aug 20, 2010 by liljeannie
	I hope the blessings work for all! (Preview) Like I said on Monday, now it is Thurs., you can be a blessing to anyone. I feel like just today I made a few peoples' days just by a smile & a positive comment. I think I will start using affirmations as well. I really need a pick-me-up now & then, Today is one of them(just because). For the last year...	Hoot Nanny	4	572	Aug 20, 2010 by Tattyhead
	ENOUGH (Preview) Dear Friends I apologise in advance for this vent, but I've just had it. As if there wasnt enough crap raining down on my family Im now reeling in shock, my cousin who I love like a brother, (we were brought up together) has been diagnosed today with a lump in his lung. CT scan tomorrow followed by a biopsy....	Ness	9	935	Aug 20, 2010 by xeno59
	Had enough. (Preview) Had enough with the A partner. Come home and she's been in the sole care of 3 year old daughter (although she does go to day nursery). Parter is so obviously under the influence she's reeling. Oh here we go again, another joyful evening I think. I just can't be bothered and just ignore her. She tries to goa...	jitsuka	7	979	Aug 20, 2010 by jitsuka
	Need advice please (Preview) My husband has had over 20 years sobrierity due to alcohol. However, within the past few years he has become addicted to pain medication. He was prescribed the medication due to two failed back surgeries. The doctor basically gave him carte blanche with the quantity and frequency he would prescr...	Allee	9	590	Aug 19, 2010 by Allee
	Bad F2F experience (Preview) Well, I attended my eighth, and most likley my last, F2F meeting last night. As I've said before, it is the ONLY meeting held in my area. If I get desperate, there is meeting about an hour away. I attended this one once and it was great. I know if Iget introuble, I canalways go to this meeting and I will feel...	never going back	16	822	Aug 19, 2010 by never going back
	New here, new to alanon :( 9 years overdue. (Preview) Hi. I found this board this morning. I will be going to my first "real" alanon meeting tonight. I just can't take it anymore. The few friends who know about my situation sympathize, but have no idea what to say to me...I feel very alone when it comes to this. A little brief history: DH &am...	applecake	12	882	Aug 19, 2010 by abbyal
	depression, Alanon, and sobriety - which do i address first? (Preview) I have depression and am also a spouse of an of alcoholic. My DH has been sober 5 months now and I am more depressed, confused, and worried than before even though he has made some very healthy changes in his life. Anyone else have this experience? I find it hard to focus on myself ... Have to admit I do mor...	membee	9	1808	Aug 19, 2010 by Maize
	C2C reading (Preview) This reading hit me like a ton of bricks. I LOVED SOMEONE THAT COULDN'T BE TRUSTED...it made me very sad but it forces me to look at the reality that is my life. My son is sick and I cannot believe most things that he tells me. I cannot trust him ever to do what he says he is going to do I think the emotional part...	Gailey	2	622	Aug 19, 2010 by Ness
	Exhausted, but I am taking a trip (Preview) I am so tired. The last few days have been a real reminder of the sickness in my AH and myself. I am emotionally hung over. Yuck. I did recognize my part in it right away, well it was a little to late because the ball was rolling. The question was "Are you at the bar?" Silly me, I know better. It bec...	miss_carol	2	628	Aug 19, 2010 by DreamXL
	Singularity is a whole 'nother ball of wax. (Preview) I've been feeling sort of "blaaaah" lately. I might attribute some of it to normal cyclical changes in hormone levels, but certainly just not feeling totally chipper and enthusiastic towards life in general. When living with my AH there was always HIM. Something wasn't going right it wa...	Aloha	6	898	Aug 19, 2010 by Rora
	Back in fear (Preview) I do not want to have to do this. I do not want to have to get a restraining order, I do not want to have to deal with the state and get no contact a part of a parole agreement, I do not want to have to deal with my xah's 'ism's anymore. I chose divorce, I chose no further contact ... and if I respect that I can't make...	Jennifer	9	963	Aug 18, 2010 by Jennifer
	This disease is a Devilish Function (Preview) Its been two months and a few days since the XAH almost met his maker. The Doctors worked so hard at saving his life , it took two days to stabilize him. A ruptured esophagus and multiple ulcers. Only 10 % survive a ruptured esophagus. Survive he did. After the surgery, I drove him home from the hospital....	Bettina	9	960	Aug 18, 2010 by Bettina
	using what ive learned in alanon (Preview) ive been in recovery for long enough that my son was born when i was 5years sober..the program carried me through many difficulties...got more into alanon after my husband left us and I got together with old bf from past (ran into him at AA dance) after we got hooked up found him to be chronic relapse guy a...	fairee	4	769	Aug 18, 2010 by Ness
	Finding a Sponsor? (Preview) Hello. I'm still new to Al-Anon (just over a month) and I know it may be too soon to be asking such a question, but how do I go about finding a sponsor? At meetings, they don't seem to ask who is willing to be a sponsor, as I've seen in open AA meetings. And I don't know the proper way to approach someone or what t...	mrphunny	3	594	Aug 18, 2010 by abbyal
	POWER...POWERLESS...stuck! (Preview) Good day my recovering family, since coming here, about 2 weeks ago, I have experienced so much. I am so much less HOPELESS about things. But, I am STUCK. I don't feel ANYTHING. I don't feel sad...or happy. Joy...or pain. Nothing. Nada. I feel passionless about my life. After seeing my sister and her a...	rainbojo66	7	830	Aug 18, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	my f2f meeting (Preview) Was getting ready to go to my f2f meeting. Bf asked "Why are you going to those f*****ing meetings anyway?" Thanks to alanon I answered "Because I choose to." Yes, I had other answers in my head that were sarcastic but I didn't go that way. That question was still bothering me at my...	buick23	6	1748	Aug 17, 2010 by abbyal
	Betrayal and resentments... (Preview) Hi all, It's been a while since I posted. last weekend our daughter had an incident. blah blah etc., She is an alcoholic, has medical problems. so we stepped in to helpher. She realizes her problem an is WILLING to get help. I love her and am greatful for that. Now it's up to her and her HP. My problem?/ I al...	chauri	4	1142	Aug 17, 2010 by chauri
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.