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Dear Friends I apologise in advance for this vent, but I've just had it.
As if there wasnt enough crap raining down on my family Im now reeling in shock, my cousin who I love like a brother, (we were brought up together) has been diagnosed today with a lump in his lung. CT scan tomorrow followed by a biopsy.
He has 10yrs sobriety after being at deaths door with his drinking and this is so cruel.
Hes had no symptoms other than he fainted twice 2 nights ago and after running tests this is showing up.
Im weak with everything thats going on with me already and Im just shattered by this news. I need to find the strength to support him.
Trying not to project.............
Im not saying why us.......but please, enough already.
When my husb was diagnosed with cancer in early sobriety I was numb the first thing that came to my mind was I cannot watch him die again .. I was frantically pacing in the house when I heard from somewhere this is not about you , he is the one with cancer . I settled down , he needed me to be strong and supportive not wringing my hands in despair . I could cry and worry at my meetings or with my sponsor . We went thru this again a few yrs later when he had cholen cancer again I had to suck it up and be strong for him , with the support of al anon friends I was able to do that . My husb attitude was amazing he said dont worry booze didnt kill me this wont either . Oh by the way he is 8 yrs clean of any cancer . there is always hope . Louise
Thanks Louise, I know I cant (and won't) take on whatever is his to manage, my mouth was saying all the positive things to him, but my mind and body are exhausted. Im wrung out...... but if theres one thing I always hang on to its hope.
So glad your husband is a survivor of it all. I laughed at what he said about the booze not killing him as that was one of my remarks today!
I AM SO SORRY THAT THIS NEW PROBLEM HAS SURFACED IN YOUR FAMILY. SINCE HE HAS BEEN IN RECOVERY FOR 10 YEARS HIS BODY HAS HAD A CHANCE TO RECOVER AND HE WILL BE STRONGER AND BETTER ABLE TO FIGHT THIS TERRIBLE DISEASE.
PLEASE STAY CLOSE HERE AND AT YOUR MEETINGS.
THE SERENITY PRAYER AND THE 11 TH STEP CARRIED ME THRU THIS TIME WITH MY HUSBAND. ACCEPTANCE OF LIFE ON LIFE'S TERMS IS HARD AT TIMES
AS ALWAYS, YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS
SINCE HE HAS BEEN IN RECOVERY FOR 10 YEARS HIS BODY HAS HAD A CHANCE TO RECOVER AND HE WILL BE STRONGER AND BETTER ABLE TO FIGHT THIS TERRIBLE DISEASE.
......................................................................................................... Thank you Betty, I said similar to him today, he looks strong handsome and the picture of health.
So sorry to hear about your cousin. I know how it feels to have close cousins, I also have cousins where we grew up like siblings. I did have a close cousin that had throat cancer, he want thru hell and back, today he has been cancer free 5 years. Today they have made so many strides, that cancer isnt always a death sentence. I know that lung cancer is tough, but we never know what the Universe has in store for the sick or any of us.
None of us are promised tomorrow.
Wishing you strength and courage Ness, we are here in support. Luv, Bettina
I am so sorry this is happening to someone you love, I understand I have been there, and the feeling of "events" so out of our control sweeping us down the river with such a vengance it takes our breath away.
I will pray for you and your cousin that this can be beaten, others here have shared that they have fought the good fight and won, and I pray that your cousin can too.
Know that you have love and support from way over here on this side of the pond.
I hear you. Sometimes we are depleted in ourselves. Our energy levels go kaput and we have little to give by way of working our program, because we worked it so hard to be who we want to be for another. So now I want you to restore you. That's quite hypocritical because right now I'm feeling sick and tired myself and I'm running on empty. I gotta listen to myself sometimes!
I am so sorry. I understand how hard it is to look at someone you love who appears so vibrant and know they may be ill. Just the word lump is a fear trigger for all of us. I will be praying for you and your cousin that the biopsy shows the best possible result. I know on top of everything taking care of you feels like more work than pleasure sometimes but do find some time to recharge your serenity.
Totally understand your pain. I am going thru much the same thing. My brother was a hard core heroin addict most of his life. He is now 13 yrs clean but after finding recovery, finding a very sweet woman to marry and having a beautiful son he got the diagonisis of HEPC. That was about 10 yrs ago. He has not reponded to any treatment and is terminal. Right now he is in the last stage of liver failure, no one knows how much time he actually has left. It is devestating to say the least but thru it all he has maintained his recovery when it would have been so easy to slip right back to his old ways. For this and many other things he is my hero. I am praying your cousins biopsy turns out to be good news and praying for extra strenght for you. Blessings
