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Hello. I'm still new to Al-Anon (just over a month) and I know it may be too soon to be asking such a question, but how do I go about finding a sponsor? At meetings, they don't seem to ask who is willing to be a sponsor, as I've seen in open AA meetings. And I don't know the proper way to approach someone or what the protocol is. I'm a man, mid-30's. Should my sponsor also be a male but older? I guess I could use any advice here.
It's never too soon to ask a question or get a sponsor!
What most do is just look around at the people in the meeting, listen to what they say and choose someone that seems to "have what you want".
Asking the person after a meeting, calling the person (if your group circulates phone numbers).
Just ask! And if they decline, don't take it personal, they may just be too busy sponsoring others already, or may just not feel they are ready to be a sponsor yet.
Either way, it's not about you!
While asking someone to be a sponsor can sometimes seem "scarey", it is a vital part of Al-Anon, and therefore is a "normal" occurance to ask or be asked to sponsor.
For me the only requirements in choosing a sponsor is that they have more time in the program than me, and that the be of the same sex. But that is just me. Sometimes for us men it is hard to find another man with more time in the program. My first sponsor was a woman.
Anyway, don't be afraid to step up and ask someone. Good luck!
Aloha Mrphunny...glad you are still here. David was right on and had the protocol I also was given and which worked for me also. Here is another that will work and it takes a bit more moxie...Volunteer to do a meeting very soon and pick the subject finding a sponsor...Consider the outcome of that one. ((((hugs))))
Hello and welcome ,I agree with David never too soon to find a sponsor it is suggested in both programs that same sex sponsors work best , and as to age Idont think that matters so much as to length in program , are they working the steps in thier lives , can u relate to their sharring etc . In my area we have a list of people who are willing to be temporary sponsors which we give newcommers sometimes they work into long term sponsorship sometimes they move on to another ,no hard feelings as the word temporary implies. I needed someone with a sense of humor as I had forgotten what it was like to have good laugh and learning to laugh at myself at the time seemed an imposibility for me . I found a perfect fit . you will too When u find someone u think is a good fit approach them and ask if they would be willing to sponsor you if they say no don't take it personally sometimes people are just too busy to devote the time needed for a new member. Try different meetings in your area there is someone out there who is a perfect fit. good luck Louise
-- Edited by abbyal on Wednesday 18th of August 2010 01:40:12 PM
