Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

Just wanted to say hi - haven't been around a ton in the last week or two, and I've missed you guys! Work is crazy busy and when I'm not working I'm chasing 2 little boys around - but things are good and I'm so blessed. :) I'm keeping up with my face to face meetings, just haven't had a ton of time to open the c...

SteppingUp · SteppingUp

Just putting this out there so see if anyone else has encountered this. Realized about 6 months ago that DW was drinking a bottle of wine each night and sometimes more than that. I would cringe when I heard her pour that third, fourth and fifth glass. When she drinks she becomes confrontational and argu...

titanicspriging · titanicspriging

I took my AH back under a promise he was not to touch drink then yesterday I knew he was at it again-just couldn't prove it, but today found 2 tins of bear in bin. Because this is to be our last chance of working things out - part of me wanted to just put them back in the bin and say nothing, but deep down I knew th...

Ness · Ness

The 3 A's closest to me, 2 family and 1 friend, were all diagnosed passive aggressive. I read this article last night and it opened my eyes to a lot of behaviours I saw before the drinking started, and how these behaviours have been excacerbated as the drinking progresses. Its opened my eyes and I'm a...

Itsalwayshavoc · Itsalwayshavoc

Curious, although I have read the book titled the Passive Aggressive Male, how that can that can tie in with alcoholism? I have one of those spouses and can definitely use the support on how to manage myself. This is very diificult, as I am sure it is for everybody, but how the he*# am I suppose the repel h...

dori711 · dori711

Had a tough week last week. Little has changed. Husband hasn't changed and neither has the way I respond to him. I just about lost it with him and now I'm discouraged that I failed to keep my composure not only with him but with other family members thru out the week I didn't go to the Al-Anon mee...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

So this morning AH and I are outside smoking, and out of nowhere he says to me "When I drink, and you get concerned that my drinking will get out of control, how would you feel if I just drank on the weekends?" This totally caught me off guard, and now I wish I would have answered differently. W...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I don't even know how to start this, as it really makes no sense. While I want to put blame, I feel a bit detached (which is a surprise to me), knowing in the world of teenagers doesnt always make a whole lot of sense anyway. My son is 17 and he has a girlfriend who just turned 18. A delightful girl with a heart...

kath · kath

I read about the A's radar when you start to move on with your life. I think I read about it in Getting Them Sober. The minute I started to really believe that I am going to be ok with or without him, my ah calls me out of the blue, after not speaking for three weeks. I have never been able to detach without an...

lyndebi · lyndebi

My young couple who have boarded their animals with me for over a year got a neat place. So we got ready to load up the animals to go. I put a chute up, they arranged the guy to do it. The guy with the livestock trailor canceled. rrrrrr so I told the kids, ok we transport them in our cars....My young couple who...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I need advice on how to deal with passive aggressive behavior. This is where my dh gets me most. He was sober for 15 years and that's always been his way. Getting pouty, walking out of a room, giving the silent treatment, baiting you with his comments to get you to engage or fight with him, etc. I've be...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hi everyone, I'm hoping some others here can provide some specific examples of ways they detach from their partner. I'm finding it to be hard and rather than detaching I'm dismissing. Which is working well for me but not for her. I read someone else post about how they "detached with anger"...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My AS is in drug rehab, he has visiting privileges on Sunday's. When I visit him he does everything he can to upset me, pull me into his drama of his drug use, that has given our family so much pain. We have tried to help him but until he wants recovery we can't make it happen for him. When I get home I am a wre...

maresie · maresie

When I first got here I was full of willfulness. When people suggested something or a skill I could master, I felt that I "should" not have to do that. I held onto the willfulness as a way to show my anger, resentment, hurt and fear. I absolutely did not want to accept the now ex AH was absolut...

member922 · member922

Tonight I will be attending my first Alanon meeting. I am a little nervous, but excited the same. I was just wondering what to expect. I think it will be very emotional for me, as I tear up a lot lately thinking about things I have learned so far. I do see my therapist early this afternoon and I am glad tha...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Hi Folks, Well today is a big day here for me. As many of you know I have been off work for 11 months due to illness. My short term disability ran out in May. So things have been tight. In June I got the doctor to release me for work if I find work closer to home so I don't have to drive. I then registered for u...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

my Mom is home & I am glad she is, she had a great time! after her being gone for about I week, I realize that she is so important to me & how I value our relationship! Even though she gets on my last nerve sometimes, I know she will be there for me & me for her! How can you not appreciate a wonderfu...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

Dear Family, I am writing for ES&H on the kind of painful emotional distances that can develop in families impacted by alcoholism. I love my younger sister dearly and yet despite my hopes that we would become best friends at some point, we have never been close. I keep hoping this will change, but w...

crushed · crushed

I am 41 and the oldest of three girls, our mom suffered a brain aneurysm about 3 months ago. She was in ICU for 19 days and in intermediate care for another 7 days. She is very lucky to be here with us today. She owns two taverns and I quit my job when she suffered her aneurysm. I stayed at the hospital with her 5...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

It is not really caring how things turn out. I have learned so much lately. I have always thought in black and white and been very uncomfortable with gray. I like to have a plan and know what is going on with other people and what is coming at me. Unfortunately, life doesn't play that way. Lately, I ha...

acappellamom · acappellamom

My husband has just come out of rehab, and things look good so far. He has been going to meetings, and I have been going to Alanon. I have two daughters - ages 10 & 12. I think they are too young for Alateen. They really need some sort of support group where they can encounter kids in a similar situat...

DaynaMC · DaynaMC

I am trying to work thru my own issues from my past, and trying to be supportive of my sister who is struggling now with her issues of being married to a A. She had finally got him out of her house and now she is beginning to talk about making a mends with him and having him move back. He is verbally abusive an...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family)))), A dear friend of mine's daughter could use all the love and prayers you could send her way. To make a long story short, she was misdiagnosed w/a condition, which led to the wrong meds being given. They then transferred her down to a major medical facility where she was doing well eno...

kittie · kittie

so im having a hell of a time forgiving my bf. we have been together a year and a half. for the first three months of our relationship he drank almost every day. then on that third month he went and spent the night at a sixteen year olds house, her rents were home and there were other people there. he says noth...

Tetongirl · Tetongirl

I told him I wanted a divorce on January 1, 2007. Here we are nearly 3 years later and I'm back in that miserable place again, while he drinks a little more every weekend and has drifted back into old habits. I can honestly say that I can't stand him right now, I have zero respect for him, I can't stand to be in...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Sometimes I don't know how my brain works. While of course I still have overall legitimate complaints (perhaps concerns is a better word) about my overall life, things have been good by any standards lately and I've been reasonably happy lately. So what do I do? I start staying up too late and not ge...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Well all this time my daughter has said to my grandaughter she doesnt drink. The other morning she stayed out all night according to what my gd told me and when she came in her breath smelled of alcohol and she looked real lousy she said to me. She has also been yelling at me a lot. Now I understand why she w...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I'm pretty sure my wife hasn't been drinking for the last few days, but I honestly don't know (and I'm happy to say that, as that means I've been succesful in detaching, i.e., I'm not searching her purse, the house, her phone, etc.). But the last few days have been horrible. I've come home to find her just...

jettiesgirl · jettiesgirl

So, this is something I haven't really seen addressed here, but which is causing me a lot of anxiety and stress. I have kicked ABF out, b/c I cannot tolerate the lying and drinking, and the emotional abuse that comes with it. I also will not allow the craziness in my daughter's life. She should not have to...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I AM OUT OF SURGERY & ALMOST OUT OF MY MIND! NEEDLESS TO SAY I HAVEN'T BEEN TO TOO MANY MEETINGS LATELY--ON THE PHONE A LOT! MY BODY IS SORE IN THE RIGHT PLACES I GUESS--IT IS HARD TO TYPE BUT I WILL DO MY BEST! THE SURGERY WAS 4 HRS. LONG--CAN'T LIFT MY ARMS VERY HIGH EITHER. BUT, I CAN TYPE WHAT I AM THINKIN...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

deal with thoughts that consume your mind about your A drinking? My AH told me yesterday that he wasn't going to drink anymore because he realized that due to me going to alanon, that he does have a problem with alcohol and was spiraling out of control. I know that I need to look past his words and watch h...

DreamXL · DreamXL

Shimo Happy Birthday :) May all your dreams come true in Extra Large :) Blessings !

Shawnn_ · Shawnn_

hello all I'm dealing with an alcoholic father. I'm 21 years old and have been coping with him my whole life. My father lost his job about ,2 years ago and found himseld in a severe state of depression. Lately all he does is drink and sleep. It's hard to be around him the slightest things set him off into a ra...

Suzannah · Suzannah

On the 28th September 2010 I reached the summit of Ben Nevis in Scotland - it just happens to be the highest mountain in the British Isles. (4,406ft) MINUS 71 degrees with winds gusting up to 50mph. I crept up that mountain like a snail with the aid of poles and I came down it like a crab - sideways steps be...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I AM HAVING TROUBLE WAITING FOR THINGS TO GET BACK TO NORMAL--WAITING FOR THINGS IN GENERAL REALLY! IT KINDA MAKES ME DEPRESSED BUT ANXIOUS AT THE SAME TIME. I JUST HAVE BEEN TRYING TO SPEND TIME IN PRAYER & KEEP READING MY ALANON MEDITATION BOOKS--A BLESSING IN DISGUISE--DIDN'T DO IT HARDLY BEFO...

cristin · cristin

Hi everyone. I've never been to an Al-Anon meeting, but my mom and I will be attending one on Tuesday. I'm hoping it will give us a new perspective. My brother is an alcoholic. He's 20 years old, started drinking when he was 14. He has ALWAYS had a behavior problem when he drinks, but over the years it...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Let me ask this about dealing with certain behaviors. My AH had a bad day at work, feels like the world is against him, gripes about how he can't do another day at his job, and gets depressed very easily. He hasn't had a drink as far as I can tell. He sits on the couch looking like he's stewing about somethi...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

My very sharp and pain in the butt therapist (I joke about that of course, she's just helping me identify things that I have to work on) has brought up a topic that I need to examine and thought I'd see what some of you have experienced. My social relationships are somewhat impaired. While I'm a good pers...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

Today is a new day! I am so grateful to be here on this planet still. A year ago at this time, I was so suicidal that my doctor placed me in a psychiatric hospital. I was so very sick. I am so glad that I didn't do that unthinkable thing. I am working with a sponsor now and have seen that surrendering to HP i...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Good morning family, My recent victory was one to work at and work at it I did. No slacking, no finding excuses, no self doubt. I dug deep and found the resolve and belief in me for myself. Having CHANGED my doubt into BELIEF made all the difference. If you think you cann't you WON'T. If you think you can...

Megthompson · Megthompson

hi my name is meg. i am 43 years old. have been married for 21 years to alcoholic in denial. i didn't realise he was an alcoholic till recently (lol!!!_)been living with my 3 children since feb 2010. they are aged 23, 19 and 17. my son has had a drinking problem for quite some years (23 year old) and 19 year ol...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am slowly getting out & about although I actually overdid it yesterday--a week is too soon I guess. My body is sore but at least I had a chance to get out & visit you all! I will keep in touch & let you know when I am at full force! Take care all! Kathleen

Meleddy · Meleddy

Good Morning: I went to my first al-anon meeting last night. I took a lot away from the meeting. my mom is an alcoholic for well over 20 years now. She has attempted suicide twice that I know of, the last of which was Labor day weekend. We gave her options this last time, get sober, stay sober, go to meeti...

Diva · Diva

Perhaps when things are going well, some of us tend to move away from MIP. I am afraid I have been one who has done just that. "A" companion has been sober for several months now. Not a single slip in 7 or 8 months. While I am happy for that, I am also aware that his bingeing may well continue, n...

member922 · member922

Ok, so I am taking steps to get to a meeting. The issue for me is, am I allowed to go to a closed meeting? That seems to be the only time that will work for me. Can anyone explain the differences? Thanks!

sunshinemama · sunshinemama

Right now I'm anxiously waiting for my copy of Getting Them Sober to arrive but that won't be here for another week to 10 days. But really, I feel like I am always waiting for my AH to do something. If he goes to the store I am watching the driveway for him to return because I'm already anticipating the alc...

Jozie · Jozie

Here I sit, Once more, with Tears Streaming down my face for yet another loss to this disease, my step sis & bro, have just lost their Afather this morning... I just got the call from my step mom, I yet again, find myself Helpless, Upset, and PISSED... This man was like many with this disease, Kind hea...

DreamXL · DreamXL

Friend of mine that I used to be very close with that I have drifted apart from the last 2 years called me yesterday. Once I got in recovery to be honest I just didnt have that much in common with her anymore. We were like sisters close. And being judgemental (admits) when she moved an active alcholic...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Obviously program must be helping. Getting positive feedback and ESH from everyone has to help. I've been reading websites about self love and happiness research (plus articles I find). I find that constantly reading about this helps it to sink in. I've also been thinking about why I should tr...

kitty · kitty

(finding)... the Willingness to Love -me- -- Message board post 10-14-2010 This wasnt something that was easy for me find or see, at all. I hated and loathed myself, I was very self destructive in all of my relationships. most especially the one including, just me. I called myself the worst names...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

Last night I went to a group therapy session for depression. When I left, AH was perfectly fine. He told me he would see me soon, and that he loved me. When I got home, it was a whole different story. He seemed really upset with me by the look on his face. When I first got home, I asked where our 7 year old s...

snodebb · snodebb

Ok so the last 5 days were good. Tonight I come home from work and he had been drinking. He's not hiding it anymore sitting right out on the patio with his beer. I handled it pretty good just acted like nothing was different and went about my business was feeling proud. As the evening went hot he got anno...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

As I posted yesterday, I'm very new to Al Anon--I've only attended one meeting. My wife has been in AA for a few months but has had a few relapses as well, including this week. In looking at the literature that I received at the Al Anon meeting, it stressed that the alcoholic is suffering from an illness o...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

this seems to be a key to my recovery...If I can love myself.....well...then all things are possible....I was wondering how all of you do it.

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hi all, I'm still very new to Al Anon but between what I've read on this board, what I've heard in the meetings, and a conversation I had with our marriage counselor (who is also a drug/alcohol counselor and also active in AA as an alcoholic), I feel like I am really starting to get this. First, I posted las...

kitty · kitty

I now know that what it takes to change and find health and discovery recovery and ourselves in this program, is willingness. Willingness more than anything else, will offer you the opportunity to let go of what no longer works for you, all of the patterns, cycles and habits that allow you to validate t...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

What I'm wondering is if the program will encourage me to love unconditionally again. I feel so hurt and frustrated. My dh doesn't just have the alcohol issues but he also suffers from depression, and has an undiagnosed personality disorder. You can throw in the ADHD as an adult and I've got quite a...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I'm gonna leave my house and drive 90 something miles to the other side of the island to attend a meeting by a group of people in position in Kona. I'm going because I have ESH to carry there regarding the subject...Drunk Driving...alcohol etc... I'm gonna listen mostly because I am anxious and appre...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I've posted on here over the past few months about how my dh was sober for 15 years and how I allowed us to start drinking wine, not realizing it would lead to him hiding and drinking gin and drinking while traveling for work, etc. Anyway, I started counseling but can't find a meeting that works with our sc...

shelley_74 · shelley_74

i joined here yesterday after having a terrible row with my alcoholic mother in the morning...i was at my wits end with her after finding another another wine bottle, she was very ill only a few short weeks ago where we thought that was it, her time was up! she's slightly better now and can walk again but h...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Good morning, Family :) (Preview) Just wanted to say hi - haven't been around a ton in the last week or two, and I've missed you guys! Work is crazy busy and when I'm not working I'm chasing 2 little boys around - but things are good and I'm so blessed. :) I'm keeping up with my face to face meetings, just haven't had a ton of time to open the c...	White Rabbit	4	368	Oct 20, 2010 by Tattyhead
	Serious Physical Reaction to Confrontation (Preview) Just putting this out there so see if anyone else has encountered this. Realized about 6 months ago that DW was drinking a bottle of wine each night and sometimes more than that. I would cringe when I heard her pour that third, fourth and fifth glass. When she drinks she becomes confrontational and argu...	SteppingUp	15	1437	Oct 20, 2010 by Tattyhead
	Silling me took him back (Preview) I took my AH back under a promise he was not to touch drink then yesterday I knew he was at it again-just couldn't prove it, but today found 2 tins of bear in bin. Because this is to be our last chance of working things out - part of me wanted to just put them back in the bin and say nothing, but deep down I knew th...	titanicspriging	12	930	Oct 20, 2010 by oklahoma momof5
	PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE (Preview) The 3 A's closest to me, 2 family and 1 friend, were all diagnosed passive aggressive. I read this article last night and it opened my eyes to a lot of behaviours I saw before the drinking started, and how these behaviours have been excacerbated as the drinking progresses. Its opened my eyes and I'm a...	Ness	4	1683	Oct 20, 2010 by hotrod
	Alcoholism and Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder (Preview) Curious, although I have read the book titled the Passive Aggressive Male, how that can that can tie in with alcoholism? I have one of those spouses and can definitely use the support on how to manage myself. This is very diificult, as I am sure it is for everybody, but how the he*# am I suppose the repel h...	Itsalwayshavoc	4	6462	Oct 20, 2010 by hotrod
	Feels like I failed. (Preview) Had a tough week last week. Little has changed. Husband hasn't changed and neither has the way I respond to him. I just about lost it with him and now I'm discouraged that I failed to keep my composure not only with him but with other family members thru out the week I didn't go to the Al-Anon mee...	dori711	9	776	Oct 19, 2010 by dori711
	The disease rears its ugly head this morning (Preview) So this morning AH and I are outside smoking, and out of nowhere he says to me "When I drink, and you get concerned that my drinking will get out of control, how would you feel if I just drank on the weekends?" This totally caught me off guard, and now I wish I would have answered differently. W...	kimmy1975	7	510	Oct 19, 2010 by wp
	Insanity at its finest.... ugh! (Preview) I don't even know how to start this, as it really makes no sense. While I want to put blame, I feel a bit detached (which is a surprise to me), knowing in the world of teenagers doesnt always make a whole lot of sense anyway. My son is 17 and he has a girlfriend who just turned 18. A delightful girl with a heart...	Loupiness	4	814	Oct 19, 2010 by lyndebi
	This program really works (Preview) I read about the A's radar when you start to move on with your life. I think I read about it in Getting Them Sober. The minute I started to really believe that I am going to be ok with or without him, my ah calls me out of the blue, after not speaking for three weeks. I have never been able to detach without an...	kath	5	1011	Oct 19, 2010 by canadianguy
	An Eden Adventure (Preview) My young couple who have boarded their animals with me for over a year got a neat place. So we got ready to load up the animals to go. I put a chute up, they arranged the guy to do it. The guy with the livestock trailor canceled. rrrrrr so I told the kids, ok we transport them in our cars....My young couple who...	lyndebi	0	472	Oct 19, 2010 by lyndebi
	Passive Aggressive Behavior (Preview) I need advice on how to deal with passive aggressive behavior. This is where my dh gets me most. He was sober for 15 years and that's always been his way. Getting pouty, walking out of a room, giving the silent treatment, baiting you with his comments to get you to engage or fight with him, etc. I've be...	ilovedogs	4	1947	Oct 19, 2010 by ilovedogs
	Specific examples of how to detach (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm hoping some others here can provide some specific examples of ways they detach from their partner. I'm finding it to be hard and rather than detaching I'm dismissing. Which is working well for me but not for her. I read someone else post about how they "detached with anger"...	usedtobeanyer	9	2013	Oct 19, 2010 by usedtobeanyer
	Trying Not To Give Him The Power..... (Preview) My AS is in drug rehab, he has visiting privileges on Sunday's. When I visit him he does everything he can to upset me, pull me into his drama of his drug use, that has given our family so much pain. We have tried to help him but until he wants recovery we can't make it happen for him. When I get home I am a wre...	DreamsOver	2	647	Oct 19, 2010 by abbyal
	Willingness and Willfulness (Preview) When I first got here I was full of willfulness. When people suggested something or a skill I could master, I felt that I "should" not have to do that. I held onto the willfulness as a way to show my anger, resentment, hurt and fear. I absolutely did not want to accept the now ex AH was absolut...	maresie	1	1003	Oct 18, 2010 by hotrod
	First Meeting Tonight - What to Expect? (Preview) Tonight I will be attending my first Alanon meeting. I am a little nervous, but excited the same. I was just wondering what to expect. I think it will be very emotional for me, as I tear up a lot lately thinking about things I have learned so far. I do see my therapist early this afternoon and I am glad tha...	member922	8	2900	Oct 18, 2010 by member922
	The day has arrived - all of a sudden I am not so sure of myself (Preview) Hi Folks, Well today is a big day here for me. As many of you know I have been off work for 11 months due to illness. My short term disability ran out in May. So things have been tight. In June I got the doctor to release me for work if I find work closer to home so I don't have to drive. I then registered for u...	fishinmama	5	494	Oct 18, 2010 by Tattyhead
	MOM'S HOME & GLAD SHE IS! (Preview) my Mom is home & I am glad she is, she had a great time! after her being gone for about I week, I realize that she is so important to me & how I value our relationship! Even though she gets on my last nerve sometimes, I know she will be there for me & me for her! How can you not appreciate a wonderfu...	Hoot Nanny	2	411	Oct 18, 2010 by Tattyhead
	Seeking ES&H on Loving Detachment from My Sibling (Preview) Dear Family, I am writing for ES&H on the kind of painful emotional distances that can develop in families impacted by alcoholism. I love my younger sister dearly and yet despite my hopes that we would become best friends at some point, we have never been close. I keep hoping this will change, but w...	BlueCloud	2	829	Oct 18, 2010 by maresie
	Don't know what else to do (Preview) I am 41 and the oldest of three girls, our mom suffered a brain aneurysm about 3 months ago. She was in ICU for 19 days and in intermediate care for another 7 days. She is very lucky to be here with us today. She owns two taverns and I quit my job when she suffered her aneurysm. I stayed at the hospital with her 5...	crushed	9	625	Oct 18, 2010 by maresie
	I have found the secret (Preview) It is not really caring how things turn out. I have learned so much lately. I have always thought in black and white and been very uncomfortable with gray. I like to have a plan and know what is going on with other people and what is coming at me. Unfortunately, life doesn't play that way. Lately, I ha...	carolinagirl	6	473	Oct 18, 2010 by lebe27
	Preteens need a support group (Preview) My husband has just come out of rehab, and things look good so far. He has been going to meetings, and I have been going to Alanon. I have two daughters - ages 10 & 12. I think they are too young for Alateen. They really need some sort of support group where they can encounter kids in a similar situat...	acappellamom	5	739	Oct 18, 2010 by gypsyc2000
	Trying to be supportive, but it's hard (Preview) I am trying to work thru my own issues from my past, and trying to be supportive of my sister who is struggling now with her issues of being married to a A. She had finally got him out of her house and now she is beginning to talk about making a mends with him and having him move back. He is verbally abusive an...	DaynaMC	5	711	Oct 18, 2010 by abbyal
	Prayers please.... (Preview) (((((Family)))), A dear friend of mine's daughter could use all the love and prayers you could send her way. To make a long story short, she was misdiagnosed w/a condition, which led to the wrong meds being given. They then transferred her down to a major medical facility where she was doing well eno...	Karilynn	3	439	Oct 18, 2010 by Andrea12
	shes was 16 he was 29 (Preview) so im having a hell of a time forgiving my bf. we have been together a year and a half. for the first three months of our relationship he drank almost every day. then on that third month he went and spent the night at a sixteen year olds house, her rents were home and there were other people there. he says noth...	kittie	9	783	Oct 17, 2010 by Jerry F
	Lonely & dying inside a little more every day (Preview) I told him I wanted a divorce on January 1, 2007. Here we are nearly 3 years later and I'm back in that miserable place again, while he drinks a little more every weekend and has drifted back into old habits. I can honestly say that I can't stand him right now, I have zero respect for him, I can't stand to be in...	Tetongirl	7	1039	Oct 17, 2010 by Jerry F
	Self Sabotage (Preview) Sometimes I don't know how my brain works. While of course I still have overall legitimate complaints (perhaps concerns is a better word) about my overall life, things have been good by any standards lately and I've been reasonably happy lately. So what do I do? I start staying up too late and not ge...	mjhyankees	9	981	Oct 17, 2010 by Jerry F
	7 Year old just realized her mother has been drinking.... (Preview) Well all this time my daughter has said to my grandaughter she doesnt drink. The other morning she stayed out all night according to what my gd told me and when she came in her breath smelled of alcohol and she looked real lousy she said to me. She has also been yelling at me a lot. Now I understand why she w...	Samsgram	11	527	Oct 17, 2010 by xeno59
	What if they aren't drunk, but acting badly...? (Preview) I'm pretty sure my wife hasn't been drinking for the last few days, but I honestly don't know (and I'm happy to say that, as that means I've been succesful in detaching, i.e., I'm not searching her purse, the house, her phone, etc.). But the last few days have been horrible. I've come home to find her just...	usedtobeanyer	6	863	Oct 17, 2010 by xeno59
	Dealing with others' judgment and expectations (Preview) So, this is something I haven't really seen addressed here, but which is causing me a lot of anxiety and stress. I have kicked ABF out, b/c I cannot tolerate the lying and drinking, and the emotional abuse that comes with it. I also will not allow the craziness in my daughter's life. She should not have to...	jettiesgirl	8	516	Oct 17, 2010 by xeno59
	surgery went well...now onto recovery! (Preview) I AM OUT OF SURGERY & ALMOST OUT OF MY MIND! NEEDLESS TO SAY I HAVEN'T BEEN TO TOO MANY MEETINGS LATELY--ON THE PHONE A LOT! MY BODY IS SORE IN THE RIGHT PLACES I GUESS--IT IS HARD TO TYPE BUT I WILL DO MY BEST! THE SURGERY WAS 4 HRS. LONG--CAN'T LIFT MY ARMS VERY HIGH EITHER. BUT, I CAN TYPE WHAT I AM THINKIN...	Hoot Nanny	9	699	Oct 17, 2010 by Karilynn
	How do you..... (Preview) deal with thoughts that consume your mind about your A drinking? My AH told me yesterday that he wasn't going to drink anymore because he realized that due to me going to alanon, that he does have a problem with alcohol and was spiraling out of control. I know that I need to look past his words and watch h...	kimmy1975	7	386	Oct 17, 2010 by Karilynn
	(((SHIMO)))) Happy Birthday ! (Preview) Shimo Happy Birthday :) May all your dreams come true in Extra Large :) Blessings !	DreamXL	6	1675	Oct 17, 2010 by Karilynn
	Can't sleep father is drunk (Preview) hello all I'm dealing with an alcoholic father. I'm 21 years old and have been coping with him my whole life. My father lost his job about ,2 years ago and found himseld in a severe state of depression. Lately all he does is drink and sleep. It's hard to be around him the slightest things set him off into a ra...	Shawnn_	4	599	Oct 16, 2010 by Rocky38
	Rise above worry - and gain the power you richly deserve to gain victory of adversity. (Preview) On the 28th September 2010 I reached the summit of Ben Nevis in Scotland - it just happens to be the highest mountain in the British Isles. (4,406ft) MINUS 71 degrees with winds gusting up to 50mph. I crept up that mountain like a snail with the aid of poles and I came down it like a crab - sideways steps be...	Suzannah	9	584	Oct 16, 2010 by Ness
	can't wait for things... (Preview) I AM HAVING TROUBLE WAITING FOR THINGS TO GET BACK TO NORMAL--WAITING FOR THINGS IN GENERAL REALLY! IT KINDA MAKES ME DEPRESSED BUT ANXIOUS AT THE SAME TIME. I JUST HAVE BEEN TRYING TO SPEND TIME IN PRAYER & KEEP READING MY ALANON MEDITATION BOOKS--A BLESSING IN DISGUISE--DIDN'T DO IT HARDLY BEFO...	Hoot Nanny	0	428	Oct 16, 2010 by Hoot Nanny
	New here...just need to vent (Preview) Hi everyone. I've never been to an Al-Anon meeting, but my mom and I will be attending one on Tuesday. I'm hoping it will give us a new perspective. My brother is an alcoholic. He's 20 years old, started drinking when he was 14. He has ALWAYS had a behavior problem when he drinks, but over the years it...	cristin	2	641	Oct 16, 2010 by xeno59
	Another question? Yes, I'm bored, LOL! (Preview) Let me ask this about dealing with certain behaviors. My AH had a bad day at work, feels like the world is against him, gripes about how he can't do another day at his job, and gets depressed very easily. He hasn't had a drink as far as I can tell. He sits on the couch looking like he's stewing about somethi...	ilovedogs	5	415	Oct 16, 2010 by Diva
	Another area of life I need to look at. (Preview) My very sharp and pain in the butt therapist (I joke about that of course, she's just helping me identify things that I have to work on) has brought up a topic that I need to examine and thought I'd see what some of you have experienced. My social relationships are somewhat impaired. While I'm a good pers...	mjhyankees	1	307	Oct 16, 2010 by xeno59
	Accepting me for me (Preview) Today is a new day! I am so grateful to be here on this planet still. A year ago at this time, I was so suicidal that my doctor placed me in a psychiatric hospital. I was so very sick. I am so glad that I didn't do that unthinkable thing. I am working with a sponsor now and have seen that surrendering to HP i...	sunflowergirl	9	421	Oct 16, 2010 by Lisa Clark
	I have turned the ruin of me into a strong fortress and I know how to defend my fortress now...so can you. (Preview) Good morning family, My recent victory was one to work at and work at it I did. No slacking, no finding excuses, no self doubt. I dug deep and found the resolve and belief in me for myself. Having CHANGED my doubt into BELIEF made all the difference. If you think you cann't you WON'T. If you think you can...	Suzannah	6	390	Oct 16, 2010 by Loupiness
	some advice would be very welcome (Preview) hi my name is meg. i am 43 years old. have been married for 21 years to alcoholic in denial. i didn't realise he was an alcoholic till recently (lol!!!_)been living with my 3 children since feb 2010. they are aged 23, 19 and 17. my son has had a drinking problem for quite some years (23 year old) and 19 year ol...	Megthompson	10	1039	Oct 16, 2010 by Megthompson
	slowly but surely... (Preview) I am slowly getting out & about although I actually overdid it yesterday--a week is too soon I guess. My body is sore but at least I had a chance to get out & visit you all! I will keep in touch & let you know when I am at full force! Take care all! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	3	471	Oct 15, 2010 by Jerry F
	New Here... (Preview) Good Morning: I went to my first al-anon meeting last night. I took a lot away from the meeting. my mom is an alcoholic for well over 20 years now. She has attempted suicide twice that I know of, the last of which was Labor day weekend. We gave her options this last time, get sober, stay sober, go to meeti...	Meleddy	6	352	Oct 15, 2010 by abbyal
	I have been missing..... (Preview) Perhaps when things are going well, some of us tend to move away from MIP. I am afraid I have been one who has done just that. "A" companion has been sober for several months now. Not a single slip in 7 or 8 months. While I am happy for that, I am also aware that his bingeing may well continue, n...	Diva	4	432	Oct 15, 2010 by ythannah
	Open vs. Closed Meeting (Preview) Ok, so I am taking steps to get to a meeting. The issue for me is, am I allowed to go to a closed meeting? That seems to be the only time that will work for me. Can anyone explain the differences? Thanks!	member922	2	4025	Oct 15, 2010 by canadianguy
	I feel like I'm always waiting... (Preview) Right now I'm anxiously waiting for my copy of Getting Them Sober to arrive but that won't be here for another week to 10 days. But really, I feel like I am always waiting for my AH to do something. If he goes to the store I am watching the driveway for him to return because I'm already anticipating the alc...	sunshinemama	5	536	Oct 15, 2010 by Bettina
	Alcohol Strikes AGAIN... (Preview) Here I sit, Once more, with Tears Streaming down my face for yet another loss to this disease, my step sis & bro, have just lost their Afather this morning... I just got the call from my step mom, I yet again, find myself Helpless, Upset, and PISSED... This man was like many with this disease, Kind hea...	Jozie	7	770	Oct 15, 2010 by DreamXL
	shocked sheesh (Preview) Friend of mine that I used to be very close with that I have drifted apart from the last 2 years called me yesterday. Once I got in recovery to be honest I just didnt have that much in common with her anymore. We were like sisters close. And being judgemental (admits) when she moved an active alcholic...	DreamXL	5	376	Oct 15, 2010 by DreamXL
	Progress...but not sure totally how..... (Preview) Obviously program must be helping. Getting positive feedback and ESH from everyone has to help. I've been reading websites about self love and happiness research (plus articles I find). I find that constantly reading about this helps it to sink in. I've also been thinking about why I should tr...	mjhyankees	5	734	Oct 14, 2010 by ythannah
	(finding)... the Willingness to Love -me- (Preview) (finding)... the Willingness to Love -me- -- Message board post 10-14-2010 This wasnt something that was easy for me find or see, at all. I hated and loathed myself, I was very self destructive in all of my relationships. most especially the one including, just me. I called myself the worst names...	kitty	5	695	Oct 14, 2010 by ythannah
	AH is angry with me (Preview) Last night I went to a group therapy session for depression. When I left, AH was perfectly fine. He told me he would see me soon, and that he loved me. When I got home, it was a whole different story. He seemed really upset with me by the look on his face. When I first got home, I asked where our 7 year old s...	kimmy1975	11	479	Oct 14, 2010 by Christy
	Told him to pack his bags and leave if he didnt like it!!! (Preview) Ok so the last 5 days were good. Tonight I come home from work and he had been drinking. He's not hiding it anymore sitting right out on the patio with his beer. I handled it pretty good just acted like nothing was different and went about my business was feeling proud. As the evening went hot he got anno...	snodebb	3	322	Oct 14, 2010 by snodebb
	Having a hard time with the whole "illness/disease" concept (Preview) As I posted yesterday, I'm very new to Al Anon--I've only attended one meeting. My wife has been in AA for a few months but has had a few relapses as well, including this week. In looking at the literature that I received at the Al Anon meeting, it stressed that the alcoholic is suffering from an illness o...	usedtobeanyer	18	1369	Oct 14, 2010 by Dyinginside
	How do you love yourself.... (Preview) this seems to be a key to my recovery...If I can love myself.....well...then all things are possible....I was wondering how all of you do it.	mjhyankees	10	1802	Oct 14, 2010 by xeno59
	Really, really, really starting to get this... (Preview) Hi all, I'm still very new to Al Anon but between what I've read on this board, what I've heard in the meetings, and a conversation I had with our marriage counselor (who is also a drug/alcohol counselor and also active in AA as an alcoholic), I feel like I am really starting to get this. First, I posted las...	usedtobeanyer	11	750	Oct 14, 2010 by xeno59
	Changing and Recovery (Preview) I now know that what it takes to change and find health and discovery recovery and ourselves in this program, is willingness. Willingness more than anything else, will offer you the opportunity to let go of what no longer works for you, all of the patterns, cycles and habits that allow you to validate t...	kitty	2	582	Oct 14, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	General question about loving an A spouse (Preview) What I'm wondering is if the program will encourage me to love unconditionally again. I feel so hurt and frustrated. My dh doesn't just have the alcohol issues but he also suffers from depression, and has an undiagnosed personality disorder. You can throw in the ADHD as an adult and I've got quite a...	ilovedogs	8	980	Oct 14, 2010 by hotrod
	So here's what I'm gonna do in a few minutes. (Preview) I'm gonna leave my house and drive 90 something miles to the other side of the island to attend a meeting by a group of people in position in Kona. I'm going because I have ESH to carry there regarding the subject...Drunk Driving...alcohol etc... I'm gonna listen mostly because I am anxious and appre...	Jerry F	14	772	Oct 14, 2010 by member922
	H is trying to tell me he's not an alcoholic (Preview) I've posted on here over the past few months about how my dh was sober for 15 years and how I allowed us to start drinking wine, not realizing it would lead to him hiding and drinking gin and drinking while traveling for work, etc. Anyway, I started counseling but can't find a meeting that works with our sc...	ilovedogs	6	809	Oct 14, 2010 by Bettina
	i feel guilty now (Preview) i joined here yesterday after having a terrible row with my alcoholic mother in the morning...i was at my wits end with her after finding another another wine bottle, she was very ill only a few short weeks ago where we thought that was it, her time was up! she's slightly better now and can walk again but h...	shelley_74	9	389	Oct 14, 2010 by shelley_74
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.