for a very long time, I seriously and literally thought, if I were dead/gone my parents would be happier, at one time, it felt like I was causign their problems and when others blame you a lot, u feel very alone and u do begin to accept all of that blame.
    Yet, it is the same for all of us - whenever we focus/fixate on someone else (and not us) we instantly lose ourselves.  Lots of parents (esp mothers) take and hold the blame for their kids.  We think this is loving them, through our own self sacrifice.  Its the victim mentality that we all codependent enalbers and alcohlics/addicts do to each other - blame shifting I call it. 

Until and not before each indiciual knows the truth of themselves (knows who they are and focuses on what they can change/control) other will continue to lord power over us and we are involved/stuck in this manipulative dynamic.

No one is to blame - blaming keeps all of us stuck.  The only change that can be facilitated for health, is to take your own reigns in hand and set your own sails in the wind.  Anytime I let others take the lead, set my sail for me, I didnt like where my ship ended up.

' " You cant control the wind but/and you can set your sails." '

So instead of allowing these people whom you dont respect, to - tkae your serenity (bc my serentiy is proportionate to my willingness to surrender) prayer is a very powerful form of love and we can let go of attemtping to control by giving them up and over to HP.

Time and time again in this program, I have learned that if I truly want something, letting it go is the fastest way to see it happen.  The trick is I have to work it out and let it go- utterly, wholly & completely - and let go of any outcome for it - and work me and live in the now.  Then a week later or a month later, I see a perfect example of the thing I wanted to see! 
    As I release my own pain and dont own others- forgive me for judging them and any time I worry - get to praying and releasing it - let go, let god - set it free.  Yes, the trick is to stay open and not attach to anything (any tactic or plan of mine) and just observe the options/choices I can see.  I like seeing infinite possibiliites - but if we attach to any one thing/answer - we immediately shut down all of the possibilities.

We cant ever think we know what will happen, projecting/speculating about the future or other people is very dangerous (for me) and it will backfire anytime I do that.  HP shows me, that is not my business. 
     I have also witnessed that when I forgive truly, it seems that the heat (or the pain or grudge or resentment I held) it goes to the source of that initial pain.  When I forgive others that have hurt me (directly or indirectly) and let it go -- feel liberated and healed from it...  it is as if you can see the flow of HP to them.  I have come to the conclusion that we hold their heat as long as we dont forgive them.  HP cannot get to them, if we are blocking that and holding onto the resentments.  As I forgive, I can see HP getting to work on others.  What we put out, comes back to us tenfold - thats the truth as I have experienced it, unequivocably.

I rarely mention special prayers these days, except for me to be the person HP wants me to be, so that I can fulfill/facilitate HP's Will (not mine) be done.  I daily (at the same time daily) pray for the whole planet, all people and all animals to thrive and know peace and HP/light of truth.  That the whole earth be healed and for anyone suffereing and lost, to surrender and know HP/God. 
     Loving me first has been an miraculous change that was only the beginning of a slew of more in my life. 

Special prayers on the way today and I hope you can let them go as well and get busy and dynamic with changes you can make in your own life - so that you can realize your own personal power - bc it is huge and it can be harnessed.

Take extra special care of YOU ((((((( Andrea )))))))) and live the best life you can, one moment at a time.  God Bless!

ps I love what Jerry said - we alanons are so very loving albeit misguided/misdirected without our program.  (in my own words, that isnt a direct quote lol)  So LOVE YOU, you're so worth it and much more.
   As long as there is breath, there is HOPE.

-- Edited by kitty on Wednesday 27th of October 2010 07:29:46 AM