Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

tweety23 · tweety23

ugh i have to work on this... my trying to control it. i told ah i did not want to "do" christmas with his relatives on xmas eve -- which we have done for years but i hate it. as to them christmas is time for a "piss-up" as they call it.i am just tired of ah and everyone else being hungove...

alittle967 · alittle967

Hello My name is Amanda and I am the Adult Child of an Alcoholic mother, I frequently carry the burden of my mothers disease around on my shoulders, and am heading a project for my family to approach my mother with her problems. Here's my storey... Growing up myself and my two sister had a great childhoo...

wp · wp

Merry Christmas and a peaceful new year to all :) wp

sdisnie · sdisnie

Happy Holidays to all of you....and may they bring you peace, joy and happiness. Whatever you strive for individually, I pray that you will find peace in your heart to make it through each day and end it with a smile. Thanks to everyone on here for love, support, advice and kind words. We all couldn'...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Somebody special liked this so much that I am gonna say it again.... originally meant for Thanksgiving but works for this holiday too! Whatever you end up doing, Treat yourself like you would the most honored guest When I am feeling down I look back at this and remember that at least one day I was headed...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((Family))), Well my nieces have been given a Christmas gift. As many of you know my brother-in-law was busted lasted year for making meth. This was his first offense but because it was a big one the attorneys were pretty sure that he would have to do some time. He has been out on probation doing what...

canadianguy · canadianguy

There have been a lot of recent posts around the frustration of dealing with A's who claim to love us, but aren't really showing this in their actions.... I found this list - compiled by Melody Beattie and Terance Gorski), that gives us many great examples of the differences between "toxic&quo...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I've been thinking about this a lot the last couple of days. I injured my back last week when I was putting my 1 year old in his car seat. The car seat was in the middle of the backseat, and I was standing outside the car bent over trying to get him in it. I must've used my lower back to lift him, but as soon as I...

ythannah · ythannah

I'm hoping that the members here will have some words of wisdom to knock some sense into me. For the past couple of weeks, ABF has been going around announcing "I hate Christmas!" and "I hate shopping!", plus telling me that he's feeling depressed. A couple of times he's asked m...

ellarose · ellarose

i went to my first meeting tonight. it started off a little slow and there were only four of us (two newbies), but then the conversation picked up. I am so glad I went. Our stories were all different, but with person there was an element i could identify with and the people who had attended before had good a...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

Last night after a day of snowboarding, AH started feeling bad. He said he had a sore throat, was achy and had chills. He asked me if I would drive into town and buy him medicine. I told him no. He asked me why. I told him that I don't know how to drive on icy roads, and I can't see well enough to drive in the dark....

pineapple · pineapple

It was one year ago today that I found this place. Boy, what a year it's been. Plenty of ups and downs with my ah all year long. And as I saw by how upset I let myself get over ah's latest binge a couple weeks ago, I still have a long way to go in my recovery. But looking back at many of the other incidents that happ...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I'm going to enjoy the holidays no matter what... And I hope you all do too!

ellarose · ellarose

Since the birth of our child, we've gone through a cycle in our house. It starts with a six pack and a beer or two during the evening, then progressed to the point where my husband was falling asleep on the couch in the basement 5-6 times a week after several beers. One day he said he had a problem. We dumped...

2nice4_2long · 2nice4_2long

Hi, My first post to this board. I am aware of enabling and try hard to avoid doing things that enable my A. The problem is that I feel like a really mean person when I don't do something put to me as a "favor". by favors - I mean things like please drive me to the mall so I can buy my gifts. Please dro...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and sometimes age doesn't matter. Aloha MIP Family. I was with family of orgin last eveing for a Christmas potluck and gift swap and fun and it was...fun. Fun was the focus so cool. Our last get together wasn't as much fun especially for my 4 year old grandson who is sooo small and like a bug to his hug...

Jozie · Jozie

Yeah know, Since My Last Post I have been doing some Real Soul Searching tring to get out of my Own way, and I think I have come up with one of my BIGGEST Problems to date... I don't Understand HELP... Defined : AID Or ASSIST , Or One who Assists Another... My Sponser & I ALWAY Butt heads about this Very th...

Fallon · Fallon

I really need advice. My AH isn't going to AA or has admitted to having a problem. I have just found al anon and after returning to my materital home after a few weeks seperation I'm trying to get me head around how to go forward. My AH doesn't drink every day and can go months not touching a drop but when he do...

tlcate · tlcate

I shared my experience regarding step 5. Please feel free to take part in the discussion if you wish. All experience from those who have worked the steps as well as questions from those who are in the process or thinking about it are more than welcome. Thank you! Tricia

Rora · Rora

This past Sunday in Church, my Pastor was delivering a sermon about commitment. He, in his 30 years of age and 10 years of marriage, went on to tell the congregation how he didn't always like his wife, but he loved her, he made a commitment to her, to love her, for better or for worse, for richer or for poo...

rgoldy1121 · rgoldy1121

( see my previous post if you want history) So, I spoke to my Friend on Monday morning as she was on her way to a meeting. We talked a while and she sounded like she was embracing recovery, sobriety, and AA. I asked her her boy (B) could come over in when she was done since the kids have not seen each other in a wh...

pamommy · pamommy

My AH has been in recovery and going to AA almost daily for 3 weeks. Today he sent me an email, addressed to "Santa," saying he had been a very bad boy this year, but if he changed his ways could he have this? With a link to a brand new sports car that he's been eyeing but I have told him in the past w...

eyeswideopen · eyeswideopen

My husband is still trapped in the cycle. I no longer believe his promises to continue going to AA, to find a sponsor, to listen to his new therapist who specializes in addiction. The last time we went through this cycle; I found him an outpatient treatment but he won't do it. Said he wants to handle it...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

My AH and I have worked out a set recovery schedule that includes meetings for each of us. We take turns watching the kids so the other person can get to a meeting. Last night was my night to go, but my back hurt and I told my AH I didn't think I would go. I said I'd rather sit on the couch and not move. My AH pa...

stomoxys · stomoxys

So my AH quit drinking after a particularly disturbing event this summer (he left me and our 6 month daughter on a beach while we were on vacation and proceeded to go on a serious blackout binge). After that, he went to aa got a sponsor and all that. He was sober for four months until he decided that he w...

rgoldy1121 · rgoldy1121

Hi,So, my good friend was arrested for a DUI. She went to rehab for two weeks and is back. I wrote her a 4 page letter telling her that i know she had been lying to me about her drinking. I have told my son for the last year or so that if he is at someones house and the people in charge of keeping him safe are dri...

xtal · xtal

Hi everyone, I am new here. I had a tramatic event occur tonight regarding my alcoholic dad. I did not know where to turn to, where to go for advice so I searched the web and found this site. I'm hoping to find some sort of advice from you wonderful people. So my dad, he has always enjoyed his liquor but I'm t...

Jersey99 · Jersey99

I have been involved with an ABF for 12 years. I begged for years and years for him to get help, and finally coming to the conslusion that things would never change, I moved out 2 years ago and started moving on with my life. He finally got sober and I got my old BF back...things were wonderful. He redid ev...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Well its funny how easy it can be to detach from an ex A.....when they are out of sight....out of mind. Easy as pie for me. Have had no contact with him whatsoever, the kids refuse to answer his texts (and that's all he does is text...no phone call...chicken $h)t) Our oldest son is home for two weeks fro...

essgee1952 · essgee1952

My AH is a Vietnam vet and has been diagnosed with PTSD. He has recently learned that there is compensation available from the VA for this, and we are in the midst of applying for it. Supposedly, it will also be paid retroactively to the time of the diagnosis. We are talking anywhere from $132 to $4,00...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi MIP Family I experienced a wonderful unexpected gift of this program today and thought I should share. I live in a huge apartment complex in NYC that has a 24 hour security staff and coverage for all emergencies. I walked out this morning and the door slammed behind me I did not have my key I wen...

kath · kath

My AH goes through phases where he manipulates me. I don't believe him when he gives me compliments because I just think he wants something. He manipulated me last week so much that I finally cussed him out. I apologized, but now we are not talking. What is a more constructive way to respond to manipulat...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone. So, here's another update on my previous posts re AH passing out at work, people think he's dead, 911, hospital ect... AH takes a bus home from the hospital. Gets home and it frozen, shaking, crying, scared. It broke my heart to see him like that. I can't even describe the pain. I hugged him....

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

We are currently on a ski trip. Today is first day on the mountain. Ah issue very tired and sore. He said to me that he is probably going to stop drinking for good after we get back home because he is so sore that he "needs" to drink. I rolled my eyes at him out of reaction, not meaning to. Oops! Wond...

casa · casa

I just wanted to let everyone know that I may not be home in time to chair tonight's meeting at 9 pm EST. I will do my best to be there, but it would be great if someone could step up and chair if I don't make it. I'd really appreciate it. 'Tis the season to be busy... Thanks in advance, Sara aka casa

Speck · Speck

This wouldnt suit everybodys situation of course but has created endless joy and happiness for my partner who is a child abuse victim. Prior to buying her Chloe she would often say that she doesnt want to live, no point to life bla bla bla.......................... It was a spur of the moment purcha...

diane3345 · diane3345

Grateful to be here. I just registered 5 minutes ago. I attended my first alanon meeting 25years ago, and have attended many meetings over the years. Expectations, are at some point , probably will bring disappointmant. I have not found rights addressed in any lit erature so far. For me this very imp...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I feel really wonderful about everything I've learned already through Al Anon. I feel a genuine change in my day to day mood and how I deal with everything in my life, not just my wife's drinking. I just feel really good these days. That being said, at the same time I also feel just fed up with my wife. And I'...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I've been keeping open communication with my kids. They all know they can talk to me about anything and they have come forward to talk to me.....it's been great and therapeutic for us all. This week my youngest son said he had a dream that his dad was parked behind a fence watching us, and he went runnin...

Imogen421 · Imogen421

Hi there, So my A. fiance has not been drinking for a month or so (no recovery program). I am not an alcoholic, but I am in recovery in Alanon. I have chosen not to drink in front of fiance because I know it is so hard for him, on many levels, not to drink at all. It would not be much of a problem, but he always seem...

grammie · grammie

Good afternoon family I am sorry to say that I will not be able to chair the meeting tonight. I am in hopes that someone will step up and cover for me, anyone can lead a meeting. It is in doing this and other acts of service, that we learn and grow in our recovery. I have no doubt that the meeting will be handled...

sdisnie · sdisnie

"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think" ~ Christopher Robin to Pooh Without the support of friends and alanon and alanon friends, I probably would never have survived all the craziness I've lived through....

youghlake · youghlake

Friday Night was a disaster here at my house. My AH and I went shopping and running around and things. Nothing dramatic. I knew he had been drinking, he always drinks, 15,20,25 beer a day. We have been together for 11 years, and I have two children from a prior marriage, 17 and 18 yo. Daughter was at work,...

independentme · independentme

My husband, left me because even after 4 years of sobriety. He is still sick. So he has left to go work on whatever. While I am homeless, jobless and destitute. Yes, Now I feel like I am dealing with an alcoholic again and I remember those days. No rational. Baffling. Cunning. Aloof. Funny thing once an...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone, that you all for your kind words and support. I haven't gone to the hospital....yet. Instead, I went to my parents house and hung out with them and my sister. I have a hard time reaching out but I'm glad I did cause otherwise I would have just sat here and starred at a wall. I called the hospita...

member922 · member922

Ok, so things have been going ok with the on again off again ABF lol. I just have to ask something, but not quite sure what. So I set my boundaries that I do not want him smoking pot around me and that he has to be able to pass a drug test to see my children. He has respected those boundaries thus far. So this...

Lila Frost · Lila Frost

In my situation I have a mother with psychiatric and alcohol abuse issues and a very private father who is always trying to downplay everything. She has never admitted to having a problem with her drinking except once when she was so drunk that she was in crisis. Every since then she minimizes everthi...

glad lee · glad lee

I've recently gotten out of a relationship, the first since my divorce in 2008. In fact, the only other Love I've had. I am so hurt that he ended it with me. Well, you know what they say... hurt people hurt people. The temptation for revenge has been enormous, my brain has come up with some delicious id...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone, well, I haven't heard from AH yet and it's 11:15 am over here.. I spoke with AH last night around 11pm and he thought he'd be in the hospital for "a while longer". If you read my first update post - AH was talking about his heart and chest pain, minimizing alcohol's involvement. EK...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Some issues with wife again this week but really it's my inability to let it go, detach, not be codependant that is giving me a hard time. I don't know how to stop ruminating on the negative stuff. I do feel a little better insulated against depression. NOt as intense and not as long. I was sitting at my...

Ginger90 · Ginger90

a day can make. I have been struggling and for months over my 18yo daughter leaving home and her behavior and of course my over reacting, obsessing, controlling, etc actions. Thru the help I have been given from this program I have been learning to let go. let her live and try to focus on myself. This past...

tlcate · tlcate

So the post by MJ today about Right and Wrong got me thinking - and as usual I had an "ah ha" moment. The problem is, I don't see the answer yet. My parents weren't very forthcoming with love, in my mom's home if there were emotions it was anger, and in my Dad's there just were no emotions allowe...

living_with_my_a · living_with_my_a

I got into an argument at the online alanon meeting tonight about sharing. I don't yet know who the ops are or what the rules are in the meetings. Do we share when the op opping calls on us, or when ANY op calls on us? I raised my hand tonigh and did not get called on in the regular way. The whole room told me to s...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Well, AH went off to work respite today with a teenage boy with severe disabilities, has a breathing tube ect... My AH knows this family very well - they are VERY good to him. Kind loving people. Anyway, so he's been at work for 3.5 hours. He called me an hour ago to tell me the phone number to reach him at sin...

Speck · Speck

Some might say its inappropriate to look for the humour in the situations that members of this message board, including myself are going through. Personally I grab any opportunity I can to laugh at the problems of being with an alcoholic................... Never quite so funny to explain later i...

jettiesgirl · jettiesgirl

Here I am again. ABF is the one who got tasered a few months ago, was sober for about 3 weeks, then went right back to drinking and I kicked him out. I've done really well at focusing on me and my daughter (she's not his daughter). But I still talk to him. And as much as I've detached, I still care about him. I st...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I've been going to Al Anon for about 3 months now, I believe. I understand the basic concepts and ideas behind it and it all makes sense to me and I can see how it can really help me deal with so much in my life, both alcohol related and not. That being said...I can't seem to put this into place to the degree tha...

lyndebi · lyndebi

My place is called Eden by the way. You guys have shared so much esh this last week, I am so humbled. thank you. I am sitting here wrapped up in a dark green feather blanket with my ginger cat winnie. sauvey the great Pyr is chewing on a bone, loudly! Zillions of red house finches are at the feeders not 4 feet f...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I hope no one minds but I felt I needed a separate thread for this. According to my therapist I am rigid in my thinking at times. i know what she means. I often have to counter my knee jerk reactions to things so as not to respond in the same old way, be open to new ideas etc. But as I explained to her while I a...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Uhhgg! I'm so frustrated and need some strength please:) As some of you might remember from previous posts - AH lost his job after being released from the psych ward because 30 days to mail a piece of paper to his work wasn't long enough, because I had the car one day, because he was sick, because .. well,...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	holiday stress (Preview) ugh i have to work on this... my trying to control it. i told ah i did not want to "do" christmas with his relatives on xmas eve -- which we have done for years but i hate it. as to them christmas is time for a "piss-up" as they call it.i am just tired of ah and everyone else being hungove...	tweety23	7	593	Dec 25, 2010 by maire rua
	New Member Here's My storey, looking for guidance (Preview) Hello My name is Amanda and I am the Adult Child of an Alcoholic mother, I frequently carry the burden of my mothers disease around on my shoulders, and am heading a project for my family to approach my mother with her problems. Here's my storey... Growing up myself and my two sister had a great childhoo...	alittle967	11	823	Dec 25, 2010 by wifeofalcoholic
	Peace (Preview) Merry Christmas and a peaceful new year to all :) wp	wp	3	605	Dec 25, 2010 by Speck
	Peace To All (Preview) Happy Holidays to all of you....and may they bring you peace, joy and happiness. Whatever you strive for individually, I pray that you will find peace in your heart to make it through each day and end it with a smile. Thanks to everyone on here for love, support, advice and kind words. We all couldn'...	sdisnie	1	429	Dec 25, 2010 by Loupiness
	A couple years ago (Preview) Somebody special liked this so much that I am gonna say it again.... originally meant for Thanksgiving but works for this holiday too! Whatever you end up doing, Treat yourself like you would the most honored guest When I am feeling down I look back at this and remember that at least one day I was headed...	Jennifer	1	564	Dec 24, 2010 by Jerry F
	A second chance: Merry Christmas (Preview) (((Family))), Well my nieces have been given a Christmas gift. As many of you know my brother-in-law was busted lasted year for making meth. This was his first offense but because it was a big one the attorneys were pretty sure that he would have to do some time. He has been out on probation doing what...	Karilynn	8	754	Dec 24, 2010 by Jennifer
	Toxic Love (Preview) There have been a lot of recent posts around the frustration of dealing with A's who claim to love us, but aren't really showing this in their actions.... I found this list - compiled by Melody Beattie and Terance Gorski), that gives us many great examples of the differences between "toxic&quo...	canadianguy	15	1557	Dec 24, 2010 by Jennifer
	Hiding my prescription pills (Preview) I've been thinking about this a lot the last couple of days. I injured my back last week when I was putting my 1 year old in his car seat. The car seat was in the middle of the backseat, and I was standing outside the car bent over trying to get him in it. I must've used my lower back to lift him, but as soon as I...	White Rabbit	8	1375	Dec 24, 2010 by Jennifer
	Are my expectations too high? (Preview) I'm hoping that the members here will have some words of wisdom to knock some sense into me. For the past couple of weeks, ABF has been going around announcing "I hate Christmas!" and "I hate shopping!", plus telling me that he's feeling depressed. A couple of times he's asked m...	ythannah	13	780	Dec 24, 2010 by wp
	my first meeting (Preview) i went to my first meeting tonight. it started off a little slow and there were only four of us (two newbies), but then the conversation picked up. I am so glad I went. Our stories were all different, but with person there was an element i could identify with and the people who had attended before had good a...	ellarose	3	579	Dec 24, 2010 by wp
	Didn't take his bait (Preview) Last night after a day of snowboarding, AH started feeling bad. He said he had a sore throat, was achy and had chills. He asked me if I would drive into town and buy him medicine. I told him no. He asked me why. I told him that I don't know how to drive on icy roads, and I can't see well enough to drive in the dark....	kimmy1975	3	787	Dec 24, 2010 by danielle0516
	happy anniversary to me (Preview) It was one year ago today that I found this place. Boy, what a year it's been. Plenty of ups and downs with my ah all year long. And as I saw by how upset I let myself get over ah's latest binge a couple weeks ago, I still have a long way to go in my recovery. But looking back at many of the other incidents that happ...	pineapple	9	672	Dec 23, 2010 by ythannah
	I'm going to enjoy the holidays no matter what...I'm going to enjoy the holidays no matter what... (Preview) I'm going to enjoy the holidays no matter what... And I hope you all do too!	usedtobeanyer	7	759	Dec 23, 2010 by member922
	am i being too hard? (Preview) Since the birth of our child, we've gone through a cycle in our house. It starts with a six pack and a beer or two during the evening, then progressed to the point where my husband was falling asleep on the couch in the basement 5-6 times a week after several beers. One day he said he had a problem. We dumped...	ellarose	9	698	Dec 23, 2010 by failte
	How to feel nice but not enable (Preview) Hi, My first post to this board. I am aware of enabling and try hard to avoid doing things that enable my A. The problem is that I feel like a really mean person when I don't do something put to me as a "favor". by favors - I mean things like please drive me to the mall so I can buy my gifts. Please dro...	2nice4_2long	6	895	Dec 23, 2010 by supermom
	It works when you work it (Preview) and sometimes age doesn't matter. Aloha MIP Family. I was with family of orgin last eveing for a Christmas potluck and gift swap and fun and it was...fun. Fun was the focus so cool. Our last get together wasn't as much fun especially for my 4 year old grandson who is sooo small and like a bug to his hug...	Jerry F	8	756	Dec 23, 2010 by tiredtonite
	Understanding HELP.... (Preview) Yeah know, Since My Last Post I have been doing some Real Soul Searching tring to get out of my Own way, and I think I have come up with one of my BIGGEST Problems to date... I don't Understand HELP... Defined : AID Or ASSIST , Or One who Assists Another... My Sponser & I ALWAY Butt heads about this Very th...	Jozie	4	720	Dec 23, 2010 by 2nice4_2long
	do you drink alcohol in forn of your A?? (Preview) I really need advice. My AH isn't going to AA or has admitted to having a problem. I have just found al anon and after returning to my materital home after a few weeks seperation I'm trying to get me head around how to go forward. My AH doesn't drink every day and can go months not touching a drop but when he do...	Fallon	9	3490	Dec 23, 2010 by failte
	Step 5 is posted on the step board (Preview) I shared my experience regarding step 5. Please feel free to take part in the discussion if you wish. All experience from those who have worked the steps as well as questions from those who are in the process or thinking about it are more than welcome. Thank you! Tricia	tlcate	2	693	Dec 23, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Divorcing .... out of love..... (Preview) This past Sunday in Church, my Pastor was delivering a sermon about commitment. He, in his 30 years of age and 10 years of marriage, went on to tell the congregation how he didn't always like his wife, but he loved her, he made a commitment to her, to love her, for better or for worse, for richer or for poo...	Rora	19	988	Dec 23, 2010 by blender_girl
	me and my friend - an update (Preview) ( see my previous post if you want history) So, I spoke to my Friend on Monday morning as she was on her way to a meeting. We talked a while and she sounded like she was embracing recovery, sobriety, and AA. I asked her her boy (B) could come over in when she was done since the kids have not seen each other in a wh...	rgoldy1121	3	753	Dec 22, 2010 by Jerry F
	AH in Recovery asking Santa for a present for being good? (Preview) My AH has been in recovery and going to AA almost daily for 3 weeks. Today he sent me an email, addressed to "Santa," saying he had been a very bad boy this year, but if he changed his ways could he have this? With a link to a brand new sports car that he's been eyeing but I have told him in the past w...	pamommy	9	787	Dec 22, 2010 by Jerry F
	how do you not engage? (Preview) My husband is still trapped in the cycle. I no longer believe his promises to continue going to AA, to find a sponsor, to listen to his new therapist who specializes in addiction. The last time we went through this cycle; I found him an outpatient treatment but he won't do it. Said he wants to handle it...	eyeswideopen	14	1077	Dec 22, 2010 by Jerry F
	Taste of my own medicine - and didn't like it much! (Preview) My AH and I have worked out a set recovery schedule that includes meetings for each of us. We take turns watching the kids so the other person can get to a meeting. Last night was my night to go, but my back hurt and I told my AH I didn't think I would go. I said I'd rather sit on the couch and not move. My AH pa...	White Rabbit	9	712	Dec 22, 2010 by Jerry F
	The holidays... oh no.... (Preview) So my AH quit drinking after a particularly disturbing event this summer (he left me and our 6 month daughter on a beach while we were on vacation and proceeded to go on a serious blackout binge). After that, he went to aa got a sponsor and all that. He was sober for four months until he decided that he w...	stomoxys	5	746	Dec 22, 2010 by Jerry F
	My kid is best friends with a kid who has an alcoholic parent... (Preview) Hi,So, my good friend was arrested for a DUI. She went to rehab for two weeks and is back. I wrote her a 4 page letter telling her that i know she had been lying to me about her drinking. I have told my son for the last year or so that if he is at someones house and the people in charge of keeping him safe are dri...	rgoldy1121	10	684	Dec 22, 2010 by rgoldy1121
	Found my dad on the ground outside (Preview) Hi everyone, I am new here. I had a tramatic event occur tonight regarding my alcoholic dad. I did not know where to turn to, where to go for advice so I searched the web and found this site. I'm hoping to find some sort of advice from you wonderful people. So my dad, he has always enjoyed his liquor but I'm t...	xtal	11	746	Dec 22, 2010 by maresie
	Feeling helpless (Preview) I have been involved with an ABF for 12 years. I begged for years and years for him to get help, and finally coming to the conslusion that things would never change, I moved out 2 years ago and started moving on with my life. He finally got sober and I got my old BF back...things were wonderful. He redid ev...	Jersey99	10	822	Dec 22, 2010 by Jersey99
	Out of Sight....Out of Mind (Preview) Well its funny how easy it can be to detach from an ex A.....when they are out of sight....out of mind. Easy as pie for me. Have had no contact with him whatsoever, the kids refuse to answer his texts (and that's all he does is text...no phone call...chicken $h)t) Our oldest son is home for two weeks fro...	sdisnie	3	676	Dec 22, 2010 by rgoldy1121
	Help For Veterans with PTSD (Preview) My AH is a Vietnam vet and has been diagnosed with PTSD. He has recently learned that there is compensation available from the VA for this, and we are in the midst of applying for it. Supposedly, it will also be paid retroactively to the time of the diagnosis. We are talking anywhere from $132 to $4,00...	essgee1952	2	711	Dec 22, 2010 by failte
	It Works If you Work It (Preview) Hi MIP Family I experienced a wonderful unexpected gift of this program today and thought I should share. I live in a huge apartment complex in NYC that has a 24 hour security staff and coverage for all emergencies. I walked out this morning and the door slammed behind me I did not have my key I wen...	hotrod	6	828	Dec 21, 2010 by maresie
	suggestions (Preview) My AH goes through phases where he manipulates me. I don't believe him when he gives me compliments because I just think he wants something. He manipulated me last week so much that I finally cussed him out. I apologized, but now we are not talking. What is a more constructive way to respond to manipulat...	kath	6	534	Dec 21, 2010 by tlcate
	AH is going to detox and 28 day rehab Update #3 (Preview) Hi everyone. So, here's another update on my previous posts re AH passing out at work, people think he's dead, 911, hospital ect... AH takes a bus home from the hospital. Gets home and it frozen, shaking, crying, scared. It broke my heart to see him like that. I can't even describe the pain. I hugged him....	danielle0516	9	781	Dec 21, 2010 by lyndebi
	More excuses to drink (Preview) We are currently on a ski trip. Today is first day on the mountain. Ah issue very tired and sore. He said to me that he is probably going to stop drinking for good after we get back home because he is so sore that he "needs" to drink. I rolled my eyes at him out of reaction, not meaning to. Oops! Wond...	kimmy1975	6	638	Dec 21, 2010 by kimmy1975
	Meeting tonight 12/21/10 (Preview) I just wanted to let everyone know that I may not be home in time to chair tonight's meeting at 9 pm EST. I will do my best to be there, but it would be great if someone could step up and chair if I don't make it. I'd really appreciate it. 'Tis the season to be busy... Thanks in advance, Sara aka casa	casa	0	321	Dec 21, 2010 by casa
	A ray of sunshine with four legs! (Preview) This wouldnt suit everybodys situation of course but has created endless joy and happiness for my partner who is a child abuse victim. Prior to buying her Chloe she would often say that she doesnt want to live, no point to life bla bla bla.......................... It was a spur of the moment purcha...	Speck	0	359	Dec 21, 2010 by Speck
	Rights not expectations (Preview) Grateful to be here. I just registered 5 minutes ago. I attended my first alanon meeting 25years ago, and have attended many meetings over the years. Expectations, are at some point , probably will bring disappointmant. I have not found rights addressed in any lit erature so far. For me this very imp...	diane3345	4	1397	Dec 21, 2010 by Jerry F
	Just fed up & tired of it (Preview) I feel really wonderful about everything I've learned already through Al Anon. I feel a genuine change in my day to day mood and how I deal with everything in my life, not just my wife's drinking. I just feel really good these days. That being said, at the same time I also feel just fed up with my wife. And I'...	usedtobeanyer	10	962	Dec 20, 2010 by jennykb43
	My kids are beginning to voice out their fears.... (Preview) I've been keeping open communication with my kids. They all know they can talk to me about anything and they have come forward to talk to me.....it's been great and therapeutic for us all. This week my youngest son said he had a dream that his dad was parked behind a fence watching us, and he went runnin...	sdisnie	5	709	Dec 20, 2010 by rgoldy1121
	living as a non-drinking couple (Preview) Hi there, So my A. fiance has not been drinking for a month or so (no recovery program). I am not an alcoholic, but I am in recovery in Alanon. I have chosen not to drink in front of fiance because I know it is so hard for him, on many levels, not to drink at all. It would not be much of a problem, but he always seem...	Imogen421	4	899	Dec 20, 2010 by Imogen421
	Unable to chair tonight (Monday Dec 20) (Preview) Good afternoon family I am sorry to say that I will not be able to chair the meeting tonight. I am in hopes that someone will step up and cover for me, anyone can lead a meeting. It is in doing this and other acts of service, that we learn and grow in our recovery. I have no doubt that the meeting will be handled...	grammie	0	412	Dec 20, 2010 by grammie
	You're braver than you think..... (Preview) "Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think" ~ Christopher Robin to Pooh Without the support of friends and alanon and alanon friends, I probably would never have survived all the craziness I've lived through....	sdisnie	3	714	Dec 20, 2010 by SteppingUp
	Still Frustrated, Can't get a grip. (Preview) Friday Night was a disaster here at my house. My AH and I went shopping and running around and things. Nothing dramatic. I knew he had been drinking, he always drinks, 15,20,25 beer a day. We have been together for 11 years, and I have two children from a prior marriage, 17 and 18 yo. Daughter was at work,...	youghlake	12	656	Dec 20, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	New Comer. Pissed but happy to be here. (Preview) My husband, left me because even after 4 years of sobriety. He is still sick. So he has left to go work on whatever. While I am homeless, jobless and destitute. Yes, Now I feel like I am dealing with an alcoholic again and I remember those days. No rational. Baffling. Cunning. Aloof. Funny thing once an...	independentme	4	769	Dec 20, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Update on AH's passing out at work crisis/hospital stay (Preview) Hi everyone, that you all for your kind words and support. I haven't gone to the hospital....yet. Instead, I went to my parents house and hung out with them and my sister. I have a hard time reaching out but I'm glad I did cause otherwise I would have just sat here and starred at a wall. I called the hospita...	danielle0516	5	525	Dec 20, 2010 by sdisnie
	Questions, boundaries and detachment... (Preview) Ok, so things have been going ok with the on again off again ABF lol. I just have to ask something, but not quite sure what. So I set my boundaries that I do not want him smoking pot around me and that he has to be able to pass a drug test to see my children. He has respected those boundaries thus far. So this...	member922	5	731	Dec 20, 2010 by member922
	Realistic boundaries (Preview) In my situation I have a mother with psychiatric and alcohol abuse issues and a very private father who is always trying to downplay everything. She has never admitted to having a problem with her drinking except once when she was so drunk that she was in crisis. Every since then she minimizes everthi...	Lila Frost	7	619	Dec 19, 2010 by Lila Frost
	resentment prayer (Preview) I've recently gotten out of a relationship, the first since my divorce in 2008. In fact, the only other Love I've had. I am so hurt that he ended it with me. Well, you know what they say... hurt people hurt people. The temptation for revenge has been enormous, my brain has come up with some delicious id...	glad lee	4	4779	Dec 19, 2010 by Tracy
	Update #2 AH in hospital passing out at work (Preview) Hi everyone, well, I haven't heard from AH yet and it's 11:15 am over here.. I spoke with AH last night around 11pm and he thought he'd be in the hospital for "a while longer". If you read my first update post - AH was talking about his heart and chest pain, minimizing alcohol's involvement. EK...	danielle0516	5	633	Dec 19, 2010 by lyndebi
	Tough week....how to let it go? (Preview) Some issues with wife again this week but really it's my inability to let it go, detach, not be codependant that is giving me a hard time. I don't know how to stop ruminating on the negative stuff. I do feel a little better insulated against depression. NOt as intense and not as long. I was sitting at my...	mjhyankees	10	715	Dec 19, 2010 by flinn66
	What a difference... (Preview) a day can make. I have been struggling and for months over my 18yo daughter leaving home and her behavior and of course my over reacting, obsessing, controlling, etc actions. Thru the help I have been given from this program I have been learning to let go. let her live and try to focus on myself. This past...	Ginger90	6	562	Dec 19, 2010 by Ginger90
	Rigid Thinking (Preview) So the post by MJ today about Right and Wrong got me thinking - and as usual I had an "ah ha" moment. The problem is, I don't see the answer yet. My parents weren't very forthcoming with love, in my mom's home if there were emotions it was anger, and in my Dad's there just were no emotions allowe...	tlcate	5	722	Dec 19, 2010 by glad lee
	I feel bad (online meeting) (Preview) I got into an argument at the online alanon meeting tonight about sharing. I don't yet know who the ops are or what the rules are in the meetings. Do we share when the op opping calls on us, or when ANY op calls on us? I raised my hand tonigh and did not get called on in the regular way. The whole room told me to s...	living_with_my_a	9	1170	Dec 19, 2010 by Courage
	Next Big Crisis and I didn't "save him" but I'm SO worried (Preview) Well, AH went off to work respite today with a teenage boy with severe disabilities, has a breathing tube ect... My AH knows this family very well - they are VERY good to him. Kind loving people. Anyway, so he's been at work for 3.5 hours. He called me an hour ago to tell me the phone number to reach him at sin...	danielle0516	13	851	Dec 19, 2010 by danielle0516
	Try and laugh! (Preview) Some might say its inappropriate to look for the humour in the situations that members of this message board, including myself are going through. Personally I grab any opportunity I can to laugh at the problems of being with an alcoholic................... Never quite so funny to explain later i...	Speck	3	584	Dec 19, 2010 by Speck
	I'm frightened (Preview) Here I am again. ABF is the one who got tasered a few months ago, was sober for about 3 weeks, then went right back to drinking and I kicked him out. I've done really well at focusing on me and my daughter (she's not his daughter). But I still talk to him. And as much as I've detached, I still care about him. I st...	jettiesgirl	10	456	Dec 19, 2010 by jettiesgirl
	Talking the talk but not walking the walk (Preview) I've been going to Al Anon for about 3 months now, I believe. I understand the basic concepts and ideas behind it and it all makes sense to me and I can see how it can really help me deal with so much in my life, both alcohol related and not. That being said...I can't seem to put this into place to the degree tha...	usedtobeanyer	12	852	Dec 18, 2010 by Jerry F
	saturday eden (Preview) My place is called Eden by the way. You guys have shared so much esh this last week, I am so humbled. thank you. I am sitting here wrapped up in a dark green feather blanket with my ginger cat winnie. sauvey the great Pyr is chewing on a bone, loudly! Zillions of red house finches are at the feeders not 4 feet f...	lyndebi	2	397	Dec 18, 2010 by tlcate
	Right and Wrong.... (Preview) I hope no one minds but I felt I needed a separate thread for this. According to my therapist I am rigid in my thinking at times. i know what she means. I often have to counter my knee jerk reactions to things so as not to respond in the same old way, be open to new ideas etc. But as I explained to her while I a...	mjhyankees	8	798	Dec 18, 2010 by Mattie
	AHH so frustrated and second guessing myself (Preview) Uhhgg! I'm so frustrated and need some strength please:) As some of you might remember from previous posts - AH lost his job after being released from the psych ward because 30 days to mail a piece of paper to his work wasn't long enough, because I had the car one day, because he was sick, because .. well,...	danielle0516	8	946	Dec 18, 2010 by lyndebi
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.