The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Last night, I was channel surfing and landed upon the show "Intervention", which I typically don't watch, but have occasionally found interesting.... My 14-year old daughter was in the process of going to bed, but I let her stay up with me for awhile longer, and we watched a couple of the stories... It was really interesting for me to watch & listen to my daughter's awareness about drugs, addiction, etc.... She saw right through all the lies and manipulation that the addict(s) were using for their excuses, and had a very mature view of what these people needed to do to get themselves sober....
My kids were quite young when their mother was an active A (ex-AW has now been sober over 8 years) - but they are both keenly aware (in a healthy way) of addiction and the risks associated with drugs, alcohol, etc.... They are starting to see some of their friends experiment, and (so far, at least) have been unwilling to participate in that activity whatsoever....
The show itself gave us a really good opportunity to have some good, frank discussion about the dangers of drugs, and she could see some direct results of poor choices right before her eyes.... All in all, I think it was a positive thing for her education around this issue, as well as it gave me an opportunity to bring up the subject in a healthy, non-lecturing way....
Just thought I would share that....
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
My step daughter's a really big fan of reality TV shows, and she liked watching Intervention, too. It definitely opened the doors for some good discussion about alcoholism and addiction.
I absolutely love Intervention. Although I know it's approach is somewhat contradictory to what Al Anon teaches (you can't force someone to want to get sober, etc.). But I think it's a great show and I always wind up in tears at the end.
I watched an episode recently where the son was a heroin addict and the father, who was always hard on him, said he was having a really hard time accepting that his son's addiction was a disease. Was amazing to hear as I and probably most of us have had the same thought early on in our process.
I was discussing the show with my therapist and he mentioned that a lot of "interventionists" are popping up as you don't need any special type of degree or certification to be an interventionist...and it can be quite lucrative.
I share your caution/concern with interventions, per se.... (but also believe that there are some people who would respond to such a process)...
One of the things I DO like about the show, however, is it doesn't seem to sensationalize things, nor does it hide the truth.... Many of the people who choose to go to the treatment centers end up relapsing.... I think it was good for my daughter to watch one of the episodes last night - where they show a heroin addict choosing treatment, feeling awesome (while sober), and then seeing that they relapsed six months later and were living on the streets...
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Tom, I too like that they show the outcomes at the end, and that yes some work out ok, and some don't. It is hard for me to see these shows still, since I have a hard time with detaching, I hope to one day be able to watch without taking it onto myself. Thanks!
__________________
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. -Buddha
The past has flown away. The coming month and year do not exsist. Ours only is the present's tiny point. -Mahmud Shabistanri
I find this thread interesting. Quite some time ago my son was without his father and that was not acceptable to me. I sent an email to the boss of my A outlining the basic idea of the issues and that my A had to go to rehab or something. I was aware that the pride in the job my A had was a barrier to recovery, and the job enabled his addiction in many ways. A week later my A was fired and went into rehab immediately.
He relapsed later on for six months, got back into recovery, started on the road to relapse again but has picked it up before taking that drink and is working on his program again. Progress is happening.
I did push for the rehab, but my A has said later on that it aided in saving his life. He has said that he never would have gone to rehab without that email being sent. For my particular situation I believed it to be the best thing to do and timing was also a good part in it.
I am not so sure I believe in intervention or don't believe in it either.
I watch that show all the time and do see that intervention can work. The A has to want it, and I can aid in that to a certain extent.
At the very least, intervention allows everyone to express their boundaries as a group. It brings the reality that everyone has had it, is worried and loves the A. Having that in the face of the A is better than nothing I guess.
I watched the show a couple times in the past when I was having addiction issues. I bawled my eyes out seeing how these peoples lives were taken over by their addictions. I could identify. Very sad and very scary. It really is a triumph to overcome. To this day though, I cannot even consider watching it anymore.
Thanks for sharing. It's quite interesting to see how different people react to seeing the stories. Fighting relapse is a big task, but it can be done. Slips are almost required.
Good thread Tom...I've seen the show myself but don't watch it alot. I get the urge to call the station and tell them how to do it...LOL
Al-Anon and AA are interventions also...Hospitals and Institutions are also...an MIP member on the Al-Anon Board who learns to stop enabling the disease is also a intervention and yes...different than the show. One of the benefits of attempting rehab stays that often isn't recognized is that the clean and sober time with the education and learning of tools does leave it's mark on some of the alcoholics and addicts and while many go out they go out with the awareness that life can be much much better for them when they are not drinking and using.
Hanging around relapsers who come back into recovery has many lessons. Many don't forget the clean and sober time and the happinesses and the balance and the love and they know where they can do the reverse relapse and get back into recovery.
Interventions are a doorway to HP. That is what happened for me and once HP gets and hold of me outcomes are much better.
Good thread...I'm trying to get drug and alcohol education a part of the curriculum here at home.
I watch this show religiously. Sometimes I watch it with my AH, but he usually gets angry b/c of how the addicted person is sometimes forced into going. Last night we were watching the show and there was this guy who had seizures b/c he went three hours without alcohol. My husband commented "Now THAT'S a true alcoholic" (b/c he insists he isn't one any more). He also commented on how the guy was hooked from his first drink at 12 years old (like a "real alcoholic"). My AH then said good night and went downstairs to drink his three nightly beers to help get him to sleep.
I think I need to stop watching it with him! It's too ridiculous a situation (in my house)....
I watch intervention occasionally, but I thought last nite's show was riveting and done very well and shows what addiction does not only to the addict but too the families.
Mostly the interventions are done on young people where the dynamics are different between child and parent. I think it shows that the Parents still do have some power over their addict children because they are young and vulnerable and still need guidance.
I was so glad that the heroin addict chose recovery and even though she relapsed, she liked feeling sober better, that she did know the difference. And Tom , thanks for the topic.
Bettina
-- Edited by Bettina on Wednesday 15th of December 2010 12:44:32 AM
I just got Netflix and so I'm currently watching tons of Intervention episodes. I love that show.
I'm on the fence with respect to whether or not interventions are best...but, I don't see how they hurt the addict, especially if the addict chooses rehab and gets to experience the feeling of being sober and healthy, even if it's not forever...
I do think the show portrays addiction and it's progressiveness and many repercussions on families quite well - I also like the follow ups and admire them for revealing the aftermath even when the addict relapses or left treatment in 2 days. So, kudos to them for that.
I'm glad you were able to bring up addiction with your kids in a healthy way because of the show. :) It really opens up your eyes to the seriousness of it all and how it can happen to anybody, successful, smart, wealthy ect, doesn't matter. So, I also think the show is great for breaking down some of those ignorant beliefs that all addicts are lazy bums. It's powerful to see how a successful, rich, strong, smart, independent person can go from having everything....to nothing.
Great topic..thanks for sharing! :)
ps:
I saw an intervention episode the other night where the twenty something guy was a heroic, weed, alcohol addict and his two siblings had just died of heroic overdoses within the last 2 months - he showed his siblings how to shoot up. (I can't imagine living with that kind of guilt).
The dad (divorced parents) did everything for his one son he had left. Gave him money, let him live at home and come and go as he pleased with no responsibility, the son worked at the dad's business and would show up hours late, if at all with no consequences ect..
So, they sent the dad to rehab or some kind of co-dependent recovery centre first. It was amazing how the dad didn't think he was doing anything wrong, said he didn't believe in therapy ect... to which the Interventionist replied: "and what will you say to your son when he uses that as an excuse not to go to rehab".
oh snap.
The dad chose to go.
It just really stuck to me how sick the dad became himself as a result of living with addiction for so long....
I too watch the show off and on. Can't say that I "love" the show. I am always so sad after each episode. I DO think that it has been a real eye opener for people (who don't live among the addicts) to see what the addict and their loved ones go through. I hope that people was more compassionate now, realizing that this too is a disease. They aren't just bodies laying in the gutter drinking, shooting up, whatever. They are real live people with families and friends that love them.....
