Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

oldergal · oldergal

Kinda confused about this, I am not sure what it means to have boundaries, but yet don't have expectations? Can anyone explain this. It seems to me if you have boundaries, these are like expectations....???

kitty5 · kitty5

I have a male friend who is an alcoholic. He is very nice but when he drinks which is all the time I just can't be there to see it or be part of it as I am an adult child of an alcoholic (deceased father) so it brings up horrific memories for me. I love my alcoholic friend as a brother and it kills me to see him se...

RLC · RLC

(((To MY MIP Family))) I posted Monday about a dear friend who was hit head on by a drunk driver early this past Sunday morning and was listed in critical condition. I would like to report that he is out of the woods and was taken out intensive care earlier today. I talked with him late this afternoon. He is...

lyn46 · lyn46

Well, I managed to get away from my AH. But he isn't leaving me alone. He keeps calling 100 times a day asking if I am going to commit to supporting him if he goes to a program. My thought is, been there done that. It didn't work. Then he threatens to leave the hospital he is at..(he checked himself into a phyc...

RLC · RLC

Some of you know I am in the ladies apparel wholesale business. I buy 90% of my apparel from one company. The owner and I have been the best of friends, more like brothers for 15 years. He is like family a wonderful carring man in his early 40's with a wife and two children. We value and respect each oth...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am so glad I went. My bf had an interview yesterday and proceeded to drink into a black out afterwards...so around 5:30 we got home, ate and I left to take my son to karate and get me to the meeting. Around 7pm the meeting began. HE called me right at 7, my phone was off so I didn't hear it (thank the gods) a...

tendo · tendo

My girlfriend is an alcoholic and has been sober for a couple years now. I love her very, very much. Right now we're in a rocky place and she's going thru some stuff she won't even try explaining to me because it has to do with being an alcoholic. I don't know what's going on inside her head. Anyway, last nig...

Aimee · Aimee

Good morning! I would love to hear your experiences with step 7 (and I guess step 6 as well). When you did step 5 with your sponsor and then went into that prayer meditation time after when you " Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings" what happened? Did it happen right away? Were you entire...

member922 · member922

So since taking the month of no contact with the abf (wk and a half so far), I have had 2 male friends that I haven't spoken to in awhile actually ask me to go to coffee or something. One of them even suggested dinner. They both acted really complimentary and happy to catch up. The one actually planned to g...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I first stumbled into the Al-Anon rooms in January. I'm new to the miracles the program can bring to my thinking. Last night, AH was... well, an alcoholic with all of the rights, responsibilities and privileges of that title. AH got angry and left. He was only gone about 45 minutes. Now, the miracl...

Debilyn · Debilyn

If you want to see the latest pictures you are welcome to go to my facebook under Debra Potter. hugs,deb

dragonflys · dragonflys

I am really having a hard time with something. I am not really sure how to explain but here goes. My husband has been pot free for just over a year. He has not worked since my daughter was born in late 2006. He started school before he went to rehab but had to drop his classes while in rehab. The past year he has...

JustWantToUnderstand · JustWantToUnderstand

I haven't been to alanon meetings before but recent events have pushed me to realize I need to talk with others who may be experiencing the same things I am. I have a dear friend who I've known for almost 20 years that was recently hospitalized because she couldn't stand up. She and I speak on the phone re...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Last night at a meeting, the topic was on listening. One member shared something that I never heard before. She said when she notices that she might be talking too much, she remembers the acronym WAIT. Some members in the know, laughed. But then newbies, me included, were perplexed. Then she e...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Didn't get to go to the meeting last night, but I am going to the one tonight. My bf drank again yesterday, into another blackout. He fell asleep after work, and I had to take my older son for his doctor appointment. So we did that and when we returned home, my bf was still asleep. I made supper and he cam...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I spent some time the past two days gathering up things for a yard sale, and in the midst of cleaning, I found my old God box (I have several)...I decided to stop the decluttering and gathering and read the notes in my God box from the past year and was amazed to find that everyone had been answered... i...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I have a scenerio for those of you that have been active in the Alanon/AA program awhile. There is a person in my homegroup that attended a few meetings of adult children in the late 60's. This person said they didnt have a sponsor, nor attended meetings of any kind on a regular basis. This member who...

atheos · atheos

...as I shared at my F2F meeting today, I am the kind of person who would start off a call to 911 with "I'm sorry to bother you, but my house is on fire"... I'm really not good at asking for things I need. Recently I posted here about asking a manager at work not to schedule me for overtime on a certa...

Dawny · Dawny

ok, so i have an earlier post that my A relased, but i didnt clarify what he relapsd on. He went to rehab for drinking and pain pills and what ever he could get his hands on. He didnt drink and he says he is really solid and wont ever drink, but a guy left out a line of speed, he says he ignored it for a long time......

Jozie · Jozie

Denial for me is HUGE .... I sit back and realized today after reading "Hope for Today" that I still Suffer Alot from Denial... I have learned to say.. "I'm Good, No Worries" when I am Dieing inside, I am good at Denying myself Happiness, & Joy alot of the times, because I Have n...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

My wife maintains a group of friends that she has completely vilified me too. All the problems she was having at work or missing social engagements with these friends due to alcohol were attributed to the stress I was causing her. I started fantasizing about her step nine. Pretty funny actually...

Latinarose · Latinarose

My son's drug of choice is meth, he has just been released from prison for foolishness associated with poor decision making while under the influence. He is 39 YO he has been in and out of jail for over 25 years because of his continued use. Once again before his release I wrote that if he was to live with m...

tarmale · tarmale

Hi everyone. I have a friend who is 41 and has been an alcoholic for as long as I can remember. She grew up in an abusive household but is now married with children. At first her drinking was kind of social and we all did it. Now, however, it's to the point of her blacking out, losing her memory, driving d...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I like the reading in One Day at a Time from yesterday. Part of it says: '"The hardest thing for me to learn,' said a member at an Al-Anon meeting, 'is to stop imagining that I can figure out why my husband acts the way he does. Automatically almost, I jump to conclusions about his activities and hi...

juliakessler · juliakessler

I know Im hiding but, i got him out and i don't want to see or talk to him because i know im not strong enough to say no to him, so, Im hiding, from him from the world, from everyonr and evrything, I feel like im just waiting for something to bad to happen but if i stick my head in the sand ill be ok for now i just want...

Rora · Rora

After a 2.5 yr separation, my exaH and I recently tried on a short reconciliation after his 3 months in rehab. I really thought a miracle had taken place. We were communicating. We were sifting through all the hurts, all the fear, all the damage. We were understanding of each others places. It was...

youfoundme · youfoundme

So I have been working really hard on my own, since I've only gotten to one meeting, I didn't get a sponsor yet. This board has helped and listening to other posts about how to handle things in the mean time until I get a sponsor. Anyway, a few days ago my bf drank, and I didn't react. Things remained calm...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I thought I would share a story about how I got introduced to Al Anon and my wife got introduced to AA. It's only recently that I've reflected on this and all that happened and how it is so obvious that my higher power was in control, although I never would have guessed it at the time. About a year or so ago, my...

maddon · maddon

My father in law is an alcoholic and has been since my husband was a late teenager (after the mother died). he is now in his 70's. There are only two children one daughter and my husband. We now live beside the father. My sister in law lives away but takes responsibility for his shopping, his housekee...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Went to see family doctor with AH this am. He has had a week in hospital but began drinking again the minute he came out. At least he didn't try to tell her any lies about drinking although he did underestimate the quantity. She told him he is killing himself and asked if he wanted to die. He said no but perh...

Dawny · Dawny

Hello my friends! I need to talk.....my 5 mo sober A relasped last night. He didnt come home all night. i knew he was going to the studio to sing at night so i respected his space ad didnt call him to check up on him. He didnt call me either, which is never good but i thought he was respecting my space too....bu...

pineapple · pineapple

I've gotten pretty good at acceptance, and detachment. I no longer even talk to ah about his drinking. But this morning I did. He'd made a date with a friend to go into town this morning. He was walking & talking very slow, had trouble getting his arm in the sleeve of his shirt, etc. I said ¨I may be wro...

juliakessler · juliakessler

I am new, and living w/ my active A. boyfriend. My landlord has banned him from the property, and threatened to evict me if he's seen here. I want him to go he's drowning me, But, I also, love him and he has nowhere to go and no friends, he says I have to help him, everytime I tell him to go I'm afraid he'll sho...

AD1076 · AD1076

but he says no...if you were faced with the same situation in a relationship how did they finally see that they indeed had a problem? He was so angry and distant all of the time....that I moved out to give him space and hope he would relize what he was missing but I have heard that he will need to hit "ro...

member922 · member922

I haven't been for a few weeks and I always get nervous. I am confident that I will learn something and it's nice to be around good people who understand. Ahhh... life. It seems a lot scarier than it really is.

pvc1 · pvc1

Hi, Back when I was 23 with a newborn baby, I went to Al-non for the first time. I realized from that one meeting that I was either going to have to accept the fact that my husband at the time was an alcoholic and live with it, or not. Well I decided not. It was not something I could live with as a young wife....

Aimee · Aimee

I wish I could throw myself on the floor, kicking and sreaming, fists flying, tears and snot, the whole nine yards. Why do I have to be so grown-up all the time? I'm trying to do the right thing, and pray about it but sometimes I just want to have a good old fashioned hissy fit!!! Sometimes it really sucks to...

tommyecat · tommyecat

Funny how if one person is accused of being crazy, many of us would have a knee jerk reaction and say "No I Am Not!" Soon a fight ensues and the AH is out the door doing what they do best. It is just one way for an AH to take the focus off their behavior and deflect it to another person. That is part...

likemyheart · likemyheart

My dilemma - my ah has, for the last two weeks, been an a** - blasting me with hateful texts and horrible words, mean voicemails, arguements, goading me, taunting, etc. I found out he was drinking of course and, like all drinking bouts, his behavior follows a certain pattern of behavior. This morning,...

tommyecat · tommyecat

This is one of my favorite poems that I heard an Alanon speaker read as a closing to their story. I like to start my week uplifted. This poem helps to give me a different perspective on my "problems". If no one has told you they loved you today, I do. Enjoy! THE WEAVERMy Life is but a weavi...

Freya · Freya

Hi, I just wanted to get these feelings out so that I can get some feedback on them and let them go. I'm currently working on my 8th step. I can see clearly how my behaviour towards my partner and other people has been abusive, manipulative and controlling , and I've realised I don't want to behave that wa...

MAR2011 · MAR2011

If you didn't see my last post, my fiance and I have a 2 month old daughter. People have told us, "It's ok to let her cry sometimes." Yes, I know that but he takes it as every time. I have to ask him, "Could you pick her up? Could you make her a bottle? Could you give her the pacifier?" I ju...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I have shared that my dear son,35, is married to an A. It has been the usual progression of horror. Breaks my heart. I am and have been blessed by MIP members to know how to listen to him. I have shared so many Al Anon tools and truths with him all along. He would call so miserable. I would say I know how horrib...

atheos · atheos

I just sent my boss an email explaining that the time when he usually asks me to work overtime really doesn't fit my schedule well, and listing other times when overtime would fit better into my schedule. I'm worried that maybe I shouldn't have done that. The company exists to serve our customers, not o...

Engaged · Engaged

Hey everyone. I am a bit lost right now and I found this site. I am hoping that someone here will understand and can give me some insight. My fiance is a recovering addict/alcoholic. She is 2.5 years clean from drugs and just a little over a month for alcohol. She is really trying to get her life toget...

poohead · poohead

Hi, I'm new here. My husband is an alcoholic. He has been sober for almost 3 months now. I am so angry!! I have so much rage inside of me and I don't know why. I can't go through the day without yelling at my kids. I am so mad about everything. I want to feel better so bad. I feel like I'm pushing my family away...

mr5191 · mr5191

This is my second posting but this is something that has been on my mind. I have started the Al-Anon recovery program and already my life is improving. I am no longer living my AW's life and feeling happier. I know I have a long way to go but this is another testament to this program's success. However,...

MAR2011 · MAR2011

My fiance is an alcoholic, he has totalled 4 cars in 5 years (one of which was mine). He was an alcoholic way before I met him, he has been to rehab once (3 years ago) but made no use of what he learned there and skipped out early. We have a 2month old daughter that he leaves me alone with all night so he can drink...

lyn46 · lyn46

Hi everyone, I don't know if this is the place for this, but I have to vent. Its 1am and I was up to get a drink. I saw my husband's coat on the chair with the pocket all zipped up so I went inside. There I found a check with my name signed at the bottom and my supermarket checking card. He just did this to me a coupl...

surfingmaestro · surfingmaestro

Hi Everyone, I've been reading here for months, but this is my first post. I've been attending alanon meetings for almost 18 months and have been working the steps with a sponsor for about 6 months. My wife is two weeks shy of having one year's sobriety. She's in program, working the steps, and is gon...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Got a nudge to share the readings that I am choosing to find my personal meaning in today. "Meaning-centered people do not try to control the moment but instead live in it. ... By stepping into and living within the moment, we get some seperation from on perspective on time. By living in the mome...

suave75 · suave75

Time article about addiction. How it affects the BRAINhttp://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1640436,00.html-- Edited by suave75 on Sunday 15th of May 2011 02:19:36 PM

member922 · member922

So I have stayed the course not communicating with the abf. Spent last evening watching tv and pretty much relaxing. Today, my son has a tball game. Then no plans, as well as for tomorrow. I am very happy to have the drama of weekend fighting, out of my life for now. I was invited to a tentative coffee d...

tommyecat · tommyecat

This prayer was shared at my 8.30 AM meeting today. I thought it was good stuff so I am passing it on. Hope you all enjoy! PRAYER FOR THE NEW YEAR Father, Thou knowest I am growing older. Keep me from becoming talkative, and possessed with the idea that I must express myself on every subject. Release...

atheos · atheos

My face-to-face meeting divides into tables in separate rooms. One of the rooms has a storage closet. My table finished first, and as I was leaving, a man who is not in Al-Anon asked me to go into the room with the storage closet (where people were still meeting) and get something for him (I think he wante...

Tracy · Tracy

I have not seen my sober ABF for a month, we have had one or two conversations but not much contact as I had hit my rock bottom and he was also feeling weak in his recovery, he has been sober for 8an a half months he was sober six months las time. he came to my sons 18th on friday we were very civil we acted normal...

lyn46 · lyn46

Hi everyone, So I told my AH that I would be moving out. Naturally he cried and carrried on. The next day at church he had this break-through revelation about how he needs to change his life. The day after that he confessed to me what he had been doing wrong as far as his shady addictive behavior goes. (I al...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I see the word relapse used a lot. In my thinking, relapse is what happens when you are truly working a program and trying to be straight and sober but something happens to drag you back down. My AH has not been sober mixed with relapses in my opinion - when he is not drinking he is doing so to prove to me that h...

Toricross · Toricross

I am angry not sure if it's at my self or him. Hate is all I feel can't express this to him because he is happy to be sober n it's 2 mths sober n he is on step 4. He knows every thing I try at times to talk but I am consumed with anger. I love him n hate at same time. Want to run as I do always. Tired pissed n feed up. What'...

parfait624 · parfait624

I have a question on interventions. First a little background. My Abf has been attending AA meetings, working the steps ,and has abstained from drinking since november of 2007. However, he did continue to smoke pot. As a dry drunk his sickness has caused us to have many issues over the last four ye...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Boundaries/Expectations (Preview) Kinda confused about this, I am not sure what it means to have boundaries, but yet don't have expectations? Can anyone explain this. It seems to me if you have boundaries, these are like expectations....???	oldergal	14	8018	May 21, 2011 by Otie
	new to Alanon - please need help re: trouble with alcoholic friend help (Preview) I have a male friend who is an alcoholic. He is very nice but when he drinks which is all the time I just can't be there to see it or be part of it as I am an adult child of an alcoholic (deceased father) so it brings up horrific memories for me. I love my alcoholic friend as a brother and it kills me to see him se...	kitty5	12	15550	May 21, 2011 by hotrod
	Up Date On My Friend - Thanks For Your Prayers (Preview) (((To MY MIP Family))) I posted Monday about a dear friend who was hit head on by a drunk driver early this past Sunday morning and was listed in critical condition. I would like to report that he is out of the woods and was taken out intensive care earlier today. I talked with him late this afternoon. He is...	RLC	12	789	May 21, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Round 1-Lyn (Preview) Well, I managed to get away from my AH. But he isn't leaving me alone. He keeps calling 100 times a day asking if I am going to commit to supporting him if he goes to a program. My thought is, been there done that. It didn't work. Then he threatens to leave the hospital he is at..(he checked himself into a phyc...	lyn46	10	781	May 20, 2011 by lyn46
	Our Lives Can Change In The Blink Of An Eye (Preview) Some of you know I am in the ladies apparel wholesale business. I buy 90% of my apparel from one company. The owner and I have been the best of friends, more like brothers for 15 years. He is like family a wonderful carring man in his early 40's with a wife and two children. We value and respect each oth...	RLC	18	1085	May 20, 2011 by danielle0516
	Got myself to the meeting room last night :) (Preview) I am so glad I went. My bf had an interview yesterday and proceeded to drink into a black out afterwards...so around 5:30 we got home, ate and I left to take my son to karate and get me to the meeting. Around 7pm the meeting began. HE called me right at 7, my phone was off so I didn't hear it (thank the gods) a...	youfoundme	9	849	May 20, 2011 by pinkchip
	someone please help- i don't know what to do (Preview) My girlfriend is an alcoholic and has been sober for a couple years now. I love her very, very much. Right now we're in a rocky place and she's going thru some stuff she won't even try explaining to me because it has to do with being an alcoholic. I don't know what's going on inside her head. Anyway, last nig...	tendo	9	996	May 20, 2011 by abbyal
	Step 6&7 experiences (Preview) Good morning! I would love to hear your experiences with step 7 (and I guess step 6 as well). When you did step 5 with your sponsor and then went into that prayer meditation time after when you " Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings" what happened? Did it happen right away? Were you entire...	Aimee	7	1247	May 20, 2011 by abbyal
	Starting to wonder what is wrong with ME (Preview) So since taking the month of no contact with the abf (wk and a half so far), I have had 2 male friends that I haven't spoken to in awhile actually ask me to go to coffee or something. One of them even suggested dinner. They both acted really complimentary and happy to catch up. The one actually planned to g...	member922	16	655	May 20, 2011 by member922
	Miracles (Preview) I first stumbled into the Al-Anon rooms in January. I'm new to the miracles the program can bring to my thinking. Last night, AH was... well, an alcoholic with all of the rights, responsibilities and privileges of that title. AH got angry and left. He was only gone about 45 minutes. Now, the miracl...	Very Very Tired	10	918	May 20, 2011 by Very Very Tired
	My facebook (Preview) If you want to see the latest pictures you are welcome to go to my facebook under Debra Potter. hugs,deb	Debilyn	7	824	May 20, 2011 by member922
	controlling and shoulding?? (Preview) I am really having a hard time with something. I am not really sure how to explain but here goes. My husband has been pot free for just over a year. He has not worked since my daughter was born in late 2006. He started school before he went to rehab but had to drop his classes while in rehab. The past year he has...	dragonflys	12	752	May 19, 2011 by tommyecat
	First time discussing my experiences..just want to understand (Preview) I haven't been to alanon meetings before but recent events have pushed me to realize I need to talk with others who may be experiencing the same things I am. I have a dear friend who I've known for almost 20 years that was recently hospitalized because she couldn't stand up. She and I speak on the phone re...	JustWantToUnderstand	7	901	May 19, 2011 by tommyecat
	For all us newbies . . . . . . . .WAIT (Preview) Last night at a meeting, the topic was on listening. One member shared something that I never heard before. She said when she notices that she might be talking too much, she remembers the acronym WAIT. Some members in the know, laughed. But then newbies, me included, were perplexed. Then she e...	GailMichelle	7	1124	May 19, 2011 by youfoundme
	Sad today (Preview) Didn't get to go to the meeting last night, but I am going to the one tonight. My bf drank again yesterday, into another blackout. He fell asleep after work, and I had to take my older son for his doctor appointment. So we did that and when we returned home, my bf was still asleep. I made supper and he cam...	youfoundme	13	1136	May 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Cleaning out my God box~and I thought He had bailed on me~WOW! (Preview) I spent some time the past two days gathering up things for a yard sale, and in the midst of cleaning, I found my old God box (I have several)...I decided to stop the decluttering and gathering and read the notes in my God box from the past year and was amazed to find that everyone had been answered... i...	shellyj123	8	1035	May 19, 2011 by shellyj123
	Birthday Chips (Preview) I have a scenerio for those of you that have been active in the Alanon/AA program awhile. There is a person in my homegroup that attended a few meetings of adult children in the late 60's. This person said they didnt have a sponsor, nor attended meetings of any kind on a regular basis. This member who...	tommyecat	6	4286	May 19, 2011 by Aloha
	Yay! Good news! (Preview) ...as I shared at my F2F meeting today, I am the kind of person who would start off a call to 911 with "I'm sorry to bother you, but my house is on fire"... I'm really not good at asking for things I need. Recently I posted here about asking a manager at work not to schedule me for overtime on a certa...	atheos	7	919	May 18, 2011 by wp
	more that i dont understand....... (Preview) ok, so i have an earlier post that my A relased, but i didnt clarify what he relapsd on. He went to rehab for drinking and pain pills and what ever he could get his hands on. He didnt drink and he says he is really solid and wont ever drink, but a guy left out a line of speed, he says he ignored it for a long time......	Dawny	9	1108	May 18, 2011 by danielle0516
	D.e.n.i.a.l.... Didn't Even No I Am Lie'n.... (Preview) Denial for me is HUGE .... I sit back and realized today after reading "Hope for Today" that I still Suffer Alot from Denial... I have learned to say.. "I'm Good, No Worries" when I am Dieing inside, I am good at Denying myself Happiness, & Joy alot of the times, because I Have n...	Jozie	5	1357	May 18, 2011 by hotrod
	coincidental share (Preview) My wife maintains a group of friends that she has completely vilified me too. All the problems she was having at work or missing social engagements with these friends due to alcohol were attributed to the stress I was causing her. I started fantasizing about her step nine. Pretty funny actually...	DadtoCandE	6	842	May 18, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Relapse (Preview) My son's drug of choice is meth, he has just been released from prison for foolishness associated with poor decision making while under the influence. He is 39 YO he has been in and out of jail for over 25 years because of his continued use. Once again before his release I wrote that if he was to live with m...	Latinarose	4	951	May 18, 2011 by Latinarose
	New but not sure if I want to be here. (Preview) Hi everyone. I have a friend who is 41 and has been an alcoholic for as long as I can remember. She grew up in an abusive household but is now married with children. At first her drinking was kind of social and we all did it. Now, however, it's to the point of her blacking out, losing her memory, driving d...	tarmale	7	437	May 18, 2011 by tommyecat
	Putting away my microscope (Preview) I like the reading in One Day at a Time from yesterday. Part of it says: '"The hardest thing for me to learn,' said a member at an Al-Anon meeting, 'is to stop imagining that I can figure out why my husband acts the way he does. Automatically almost, I jump to conclusions about his activities and hi...	White Rabbit	9	1263	May 18, 2011 by tommyecat
	Locked myself in my apartment, & took the phone off the hook (Preview) I know Im hiding but, i got him out and i don't want to see or talk to him because i know im not strong enough to say no to him, so, Im hiding, from him from the world, from everyonr and evrything, I feel like im just waiting for something to bad to happen but if i stick my head in the sand ill be ok for now i just want...	juliakessler	6	747	May 18, 2011 by Rora
	After a brief and fantastic reconciliation, things collapsed to new proportions... (Preview) After a 2.5 yr separation, my exaH and I recently tried on a short reconciliation after his 3 months in rehab. I really thought a miracle had taken place. We were communicating. We were sifting through all the hurts, all the fear, all the damage. We were understanding of each others places. It was...	Rora	11	746	May 17, 2011 by tommyecat
	Just need some support today living with active alcoholism (Preview) So I have been working really hard on my own, since I've only gotten to one meeting, I didn't get a sponsor yet. This board has helped and listening to other posts about how to handle things in the mean time until I get a sponsor. Anyway, a few days ago my bf drank, and I didn't react. Things remained calm...	youfoundme	7	562	May 17, 2011 by tommyecat
	Even in the darkest days, your higher power is there... (Preview) I thought I would share a story about how I got introduced to Al Anon and my wife got introduced to AA. It's only recently that I've reflected on this and all that happened and how it is so obvious that my higher power was in control, although I never would have guessed it at the time. About a year or so ago, my...	usedtobeanyer	5	636	May 17, 2011 by tommyecat
	not sure if i belong here (Preview) My father in law is an alcoholic and has been since my husband was a late teenager (after the mother died). he is now in his 70's. There are only two children one daughter and my husband. We now live beside the father. My sister in law lives away but takes responsibility for his shopping, his housekee...	maddon	6	674	May 17, 2011 by tommyecat
	Feeling Down (Preview) Went to see family doctor with AH this am. He has had a week in hospital but began drinking again the minute he came out. At least he didn't try to tell her any lies about drinking although he did underestimate the quantity. She told him he is killing himself and asked if he wanted to die. He said no but perh...	Tattyhead	14	753	May 17, 2011 by Ness
	i dont know if i can do this.H (Preview) Hello my friends! I need to talk.....my 5 mo sober A relasped last night. He didnt come home all night. i knew he was going to the studio to sing at night so i respected his space ad didnt call him to check up on him. He didnt call me either, which is never good but i thought he was respecting my space too....bu...	Dawny	7	629	May 17, 2011 by youfoundme
	exchanging one drug for another (Preview) I've gotten pretty good at acceptance, and detachment. I no longer even talk to ah about his drinking. But this morning I did. He'd made a date with a friend to go into town this morning. He was walking & talking very slow, had trouble getting his arm in the sleeve of his shirt, etc. I said ¨I may be wro...	pineapple	6	683	May 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	I feel trapped, how do I get free? (Preview) I am new, and living w/ my active A. boyfriend. My landlord has banned him from the property, and threatened to evict me if he's seen here. I want him to go he's drowning me, But, I also, love him and he has nowhere to go and no friends, he says I have to help him, everytime I tell him to go I'm afraid he'll sho...	juliakessler	6	729	May 17, 2011 by GailMichelle
	I am new here.....I am pretty sure he has a drinking problem (Preview) but he says no...if you were faced with the same situation in a relationship how did they finally see that they indeed had a problem? He was so angry and distant all of the time....that I moved out to give him space and hope he would relize what he was missing but I have heard that he will need to hit "ro...	AD1076	6	809	May 17, 2011 by tommyecat
	Off to a meeting... (Preview) I haven't been for a few weeks and I always get nervous. I am confident that I will learn something and it's nice to be around good people who understand. Ahhh... life. It seems a lot scarier than it really is.	member922	7	485	May 17, 2011 by tommyecat
	My alcoholic ex husband and my 18 year old daughter and rehab (Preview) Hi, Back when I was 23 with a newborn baby, I went to Al-non for the first time. I realized from that one meeting that I was either going to have to accept the fact that my husband at the time was an alcoholic and live with it, or not. Well I decided not. It was not something I could live with as a young wife....	pvc1	11	811	May 17, 2011 by pvc1
	temper tantrum terrible-two style (Preview) I wish I could throw myself on the floor, kicking and sreaming, fists flying, tears and snot, the whole nine yards. Why do I have to be so grown-up all the time? I'm trying to do the right thing, and pray about it but sometimes I just want to have a good old fashioned hissy fit!!! Sometimes it really sucks to...	Aimee	9	985	May 17, 2011 by tommyecat
	I'm not crazy, you are! (Preview) Funny how if one person is accused of being crazy, many of us would have a knee jerk reaction and say "No I Am Not!" Soon a fight ensues and the AH is out the door doing what they do best. It is just one way for an AH to take the focus off their behavior and deflect it to another person. That is part...	tommyecat	8	786	May 16, 2011 by likemyheart
	To help or not - what would you do? (Preview) My dilemma - my ah has, for the last two weeks, been an a** - blasting me with hateful texts and horrible words, mean voicemails, arguements, goading me, taunting, etc. I found out he was drinking of course and, like all drinking bouts, his behavior follows a certain pattern of behavior. This morning,...	likemyheart	6	740	May 16, 2011 by likemyheart
	The Weaver (Preview) This is one of my favorite poems that I heard an Alanon speaker read as a closing to their story. I like to start my week uplifted. This poem helps to give me a different perspective on my "problems". If no one has told you they loved you today, I do. Enjoy! THE WEAVERMy Life is but a weavi...	tommyecat	3	546	May 16, 2011 by Jerry F
	Struggling with my feelings about myself (Preview) Hi, I just wanted to get these feelings out so that I can get some feedback on them and let them go. I'm currently working on my 8th step. I can see clearly how my behaviour towards my partner and other people has been abusive, manipulative and controlling , and I've realised I don't want to behave that wa...	Freya	9	997	May 16, 2011 by Freya
	I can't tell him he's done something wrong without a blow up... (Preview) If you didn't see my last post, my fiance and I have a 2 month old daughter. People have told us, "It's ok to let her cry sometimes." Yes, I know that but he takes it as every time. I have to ask him, "Could you pick her up? Could you make her a bottle? Could you give her the pacifier?" I ju...	MAR2011	6	554	May 16, 2011 by youfoundme
	Want to share this (Preview) I have shared that my dear son,35, is married to an A. It has been the usual progression of horror. Breaks my heart. I am and have been blessed by MIP members to know how to listen to him. I have shared so many Al Anon tools and truths with him all along. He would call so miserable. I would say I know how horrib...	Debilyn	3	455	May 16, 2011 by Debilyn
	Assertive, or pushy? (Preview) I just sent my boss an email explaining that the time when he usually asks me to work overtime really doesn't fit my schedule well, and listing other times when overtime would fit better into my schedule. I'm worried that maybe I shouldn't have done that. The company exists to serve our customers, not o...	atheos	7	1208	May 16, 2011 by Debilyn
	New and I'm trying to figure things out. (Preview) Hey everyone. I am a bit lost right now and I found this site. I am hoping that someone here will understand and can give me some insight. My fiance is a recovering addict/alcoholic. She is 2.5 years clean from drugs and just a little over a month for alcohol. She is really trying to get her life toget...	Engaged	6	1184	May 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	I need help (Preview) Hi, I'm new here. My husband is an alcoholic. He has been sober for almost 3 months now. I am so angry!! I have so much rage inside of me and I don't know why. I can't go through the day without yelling at my kids. I am so mad about everything. I want to feel better so bad. I feel like I'm pushing my family away...	poohead	7	559	May 16, 2011 by kitty
	newbie with difficult medical question (Preview) This is my second posting but this is something that has been on my mind. I have started the Al-Anon recovery program and already my life is improving. I am no longer living my AW's life and feeling happier. I know I have a long way to go but this is another testament to this program's success. However,...	mr5191	11	599	May 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	I'm new and thinking of going to a meeting... (Preview) My fiance is an alcoholic, he has totalled 4 cars in 5 years (one of which was mine). He was an alcoholic way before I met him, he has been to rehab once (3 years ago) but made no use of what he learned there and skipped out early. We have a 2month old daughter that he leaves me alone with all night so he can drink...	MAR2011	9	893	May 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	trouble (Preview) Hi everyone, I don't know if this is the place for this, but I have to vent. Its 1am and I was up to get a drink. I saw my husband's coat on the chair with the pocket all zipped up so I went inside. There I found a check with my name signed at the bottom and my supermarket checking card. He just did this to me a coupl...	lyn46	9	442	May 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	Alcoholic Wife Takes My Inventory (Preview) Hi Everyone, I've been reading here for months, but this is my first post. I've been attending alanon meetings for almost 18 months and have been working the steps with a sponsor for about 6 months. My wife is two weeks shy of having one year's sobriety. She's in program, working the steps, and is gon...	surfingmaestro	16	1314	May 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	What I am meditating on today (Preview) Got a nudge to share the readings that I am choosing to find my personal meaning in today. "Meaning-centered people do not try to control the moment but instead live in it. ... By stepping into and living within the moment, we get some seperation from on perspective on time. By living in the mome...	Jennifer	3	492	May 16, 2011 by Debilyn
	Time Article about Addiction from 2007 (Preview) Time article about addiction. How it affects the BRAINhttp://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1640436,00.html-- Edited by suave75 on Sunday 15th of May 2011 02:19:36 PM	suave75	2	377	May 15, 2011 by youfoundme
	Weekend Update Anyone?? (Preview) So I have stayed the course not communicating with the abf. Spent last evening watching tv and pretty much relaxing. Today, my son has a tball game. Then no plans, as well as for tomorrow. I am very happy to have the drama of weekend fighting, out of my life for now. I was invited to a tentative coffee d...	member922	16	610	May 15, 2011 by youfoundme
	Passing It On, Prayer shared in a meeting (Preview) This prayer was shared at my 8.30 AM meeting today. I thought it was good stuff so I am passing it on. Hope you all enjoy! PRAYER FOR THE NEW YEAR Father, Thou knowest I am growing older. Keep me from becoming talkative, and possessed with the idea that I must express myself on every subject. Release...	tommyecat	10	909	May 15, 2011 by youfoundme
	Of all the stupid reasons to freak out... (Preview) My face-to-face meeting divides into tables in separate rooms. One of the rooms has a storage closet. My table finished first, and as I was leaving, a man who is not in Al-Anon asked me to go into the room with the storage closet (where people were still meeting) and get something for him (I think he wante...	atheos	11	641	May 15, 2011 by tommyecat
	disease on attack (Preview) I have not seen my sober ABF for a month, we have had one or two conversations but not much contact as I had hit my rock bottom and he was also feeling weak in his recovery, he has been sober for 8an a half months he was sober six months las time. he came to my sons 18th on friday we were very civil we acted normal...	Tracy	3	383	May 15, 2011 by tommyecat
	heart squished...again (Preview) Hi everyone, So I told my AH that I would be moving out. Naturally he cried and carrried on. The next day at church he had this break-through revelation about how he needs to change his life. The day after that he confessed to me what he had been doing wrong as far as his shady addictive behavior goes. (I al...	lyn46	10	585	May 15, 2011 by pinkchip
	Relapse? (Preview) I see the word relapse used a lot. In my thinking, relapse is what happens when you are truly working a program and trying to be straight and sober but something happens to drag you back down. My AH has not been sober mixed with relapses in my opinion - when he is not drinking he is doing so to prove to me that h...	likemyheart	6	577	May 15, 2011 by pinkchip
	Angry (Preview) I am angry not sure if it's at my self or him. Hate is all I feel can't express this to him because he is happy to be sober n it's 2 mths sober n he is on step 4. He knows every thing I try at times to talk but I am consumed with anger. I love him n hate at same time. Want to run as I do always. Tired pissed n feed up. What'...	Toricross	4	524	May 14, 2011 by Toricross
	Interventions (Preview) I have a question on interventions. First a little background. My Abf has been attending AA meetings, working the steps ,and has abstained from drinking since november of 2007. However, he did continue to smoke pot. As a dry drunk his sickness has caused us to have many issues over the last four ye...	parfait624	7	611	May 14, 2011 by parfait624
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.