Feeling Down - Al-Anon Family Group

Tattyhead · Senior Member

Feeling Down

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Dear Tish

I hear your pain and truly understand I too watched helpless as this exact same scene played out in my sons' life The intellectual knowing is much different that the heart knowing. It is so painful and hard.

I learned I did not have to be strong. I could go to my meetings, ask for hugs, call people cry, talk about how painful this was and when was done I felt better.

I know you do not have any meetings but please come here often, go to the chat room, post, attend on line meetings and talk, cry and know you are cared for and loved. Although these are painful hard times remember HP is there walking with you and your family. He can carry you right now. Just know you are not alone and can do this One Day at a Time

In my thoughts and prayers

RLC · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Tattyhead)))

Hotrod has been where you are. Listen and apply her ES&H and wisdom.

We are powerless. Continue to take care of yourself turning your husband over to your HP. Miracles can and have happened. I pray HP will lead and guide your husband to a recovery from the grasp of this disease. Your in my prayers.

HUGS,
RLC

Jennifer · ~*Service Worker*~

((((((((((Tatty))))))))))
Love and prayers.
Jen

pineapple · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Tish))), I'm so sorry to hear about what you're having to deal with. I don't know what to say except I do understand, and that you and your family will be in my prayers.

Mattie · ~*Service Worker*~

Oh, I am so sorry to hear this. I so know what you mean about wanting someone to put their arms around you and say you don't have to cope any more (at least for a while). It is what we all need and deserve. I know it is not the same as having a flesh-and-blood person right there, but I hope you can feel a little bit that the arms of your HP and your MIP friends are around you, because they are. Hang in there.

ythannah · Senior Member

(((hugs))) Tish

I get tired of being "the strong one" sometimes too -- where's MY rock?

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Oh tish I remember feeling like that! Sure I will feel it again.

It is so hard to be where you are. You are so brave.

You can be kind to yourself. Climb into clean sheets and rest. I got me so many feather comforters it is insane! Can't help it. I like to surround me with them and have them under me too, and feather pillows.

I have been drinking Chammomile tea too. Its so soothing.

All we can do is take things as they come. the thought of things is always worse than it is.Sickness and death are very hard. I learned just to breath, and love. Not get overly excited. After all I was not the one in control.

I am sad your A is so sick. I sure know. My bil died in my arms God love him please.Broke my heart. I would not trade that month of being with him for anything.

Hope you can come here a lot and let it out.

I know I always need clean, warm soft things when I am facing this kinda thing. I pull my Basset even closer to me!

hugs hon. debilyn

tommyecat · ~*Service Worker*~

Tish, I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

(((((Tish))))) when you really turn it all over to your HP you don't have to be brave and just coping anymore and that is surrender completely. Put your alcoholic in your hands and raise him up to your HP and bring your hands back empty. Don't submit... surrender. If you have an ODAAT daily reader read page 135; May 14th. It was part of the mental recovery I was supported with when I was sure I would see my alcoholic/addict turn up dead...somewhere, sometime. Alcoholism is a fatal disease. If it is not arrested by total abstinence the alcoholic will go insane and/or die. One of the other things it is, is a solvent...it will disolve the human body plus, marriages, jobs, families, companies, governments and anything else it touches and imbeds itself in.

You are a professional caretaker which says alot about you...caretake yourself along with the others you feel responsible to and for. Turn yourself over to God also.

End stage alcoholism is never pretty and I pray he makes a choice to try living without alcohol.

(((((hugs))))) smile

youfoundme · ~*Service Worker*~

End stage of any disease is so sad... I don't know what to say, but know you are being supported and hugged!

flopadopilus · ~*Service Worker*~

Sending you thoughts and prayers! So sorry you are going through this and it is okay to not be strong all the time. Everyone has to let down their guard at times and let it out. Hopefully you can hand it all over to your HP and have a good cry. (((((((HUGS)))))))!

GailMichelle · ~*Service Worker*~

First, no apoligies necessary for sharing how you are currently feeling. Sharing feelings so that others can provide their experiences, strengh & support is one of the many functions of this board. I'm glad you taking advantage of it.

Going along with your husband to the doctor was a considerate gesture on your part. If your husband is capable of getting outside of himself for a minute, he will or would realize that you love and support him. However, as you well know there is only so much you can do. Do what you know you can and then, as Jerry suggested, surrender.

Truly, you are stronger than you feel.

When my mind begins to get out of control with worrying or trying to figure things out, I've learned to focus on my breath . With practice, I've learned to quiet my mind and enter in to a realm of peacefulness that I didn't know existed.

Please continue to let us know how you are doing.

Tattyhead · Senior Member

Thank you - once again, my wonderful MIP family, you have managed to make me feel better. Jerry - I like the idea of taking my A in my hands and turning him over to HP but I haven't managed to do that yet - maybe not quite ready to let go. Amazing, isn't it, that even after all he has done to me; hurt me with his lies, verbally abused me (it is only verbal, never physical) and upset the kids - I still go on loving him?

Knowing you are here, like a safety net when I get really down, means more to me than you will ever know.

Thanks again.

Love, Tish xxx

Ness · ~*Service Worker*~

Tish

((((((((((warmest hugs)))))))))))))

Ness xx

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.