Relapse - Al-Anon Family Group

Latinarose · Member

Relapse

flopadopilus · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Latinarose and welcome to MIP, have you made it to an Al-anon face to face meetings? That is where I found new support and understanding while dealing with my A. This is a great place to share and vent and find people to relate to also, but I would suggest finding meetings in your area and maybe a sponsor to start if you aren't already doing so. I am glad you found us here and I am sure others will be able to give some ESH on your post. Sending you thoughts and prayers.

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome dear lady. When the addict is someones child, it always tugs at me.

The best thing to do is find meetings in your area and go. Look on the bottom of my post to find one. Reading,"Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews is a super helpful book. MANY of us reccommend it.

Next do for YOU. We need to get the focus back on getting us healthy. The addict in our life, your son, gets nothing if his disease is making you fall apart but more guilt.

The sad thing is he has to find his own way. We can do nothing but allow him the dignity to make his own decisions period. His disease of addiction is his business not ours. We do no good pointing anything out. It only alienates them from us.

What we can do is love them. Always letting them know we do. He knows your boundaries, he knows you don't want him to use, he knows what he is doing.Your telling him only makes him feel like all he is is the disease. He is not that. He is your son who is very,very sick.

He is an adult.We need to not do anything for them that they can do for themselves. If he is homeless, he can go to a shelter or etc. If he is sick he can get to an ER. He needs food, there are soup kitchens and free food and cloths all over. When he gets too sick to get more dope, he can get so sick he will walk to AA NA rehab whatever for help.

Again we can do NOTHING for them. When we do it makes it worse.

I have this experience. Thank goodness for Al Anon.

We are here for you! I know how much you hurt hon. If you believe in a creator, then what I did was completely turn my loved one over to him.

We are parents, but our job is over as far as taking care of them.

Your nic is so pretty btw. Please walk in here A LOT. love and hugs to you yours and your son! debilyn

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha Rose and welcome to the family. If you are not going to face to face Al-Anon Family Group meetings in your area please go to the white pages of your local telephone book and call that hotline number for places and times were we get together and help and support each other get our sanity and lives back. There are alot of spanish speaking meetings in your neck of the woods I believe if spanish is your language of choice.

As for your son...Only one of the things we learn in Al-Anon is that We didn't Cause it, We cannot Cure it and we cannot Control it. We call that the 3C's and after I learned those and wanted to know how it would help me I was taught to "Allow my alcoholic/addict wife the dignity of the consequences of her choices." Wow...allow the addict dignity; let her own her consequences and get out of the way between her and her Higher Power and anyone else she should be answering to.

We learn many things in recovery especially how to extract ourselves from the disease of addiction...alcohol or whatever and not make it worse even when not intending to make it worse.

Stick around cause I'm sure more members of MIP are going to step up and welcome you and offer their ESH...Experiences Strengths and Hopes. Keep coming back (((((hugs))))) smile

Latinarose · Member

Thank you for your support, I have a long history with al-anon. My son is on parole and it's never easy to do what I have to do to keep him safe. I had to have him picked up by parole, he will go back to prison for a while once again but as usaual he had used and looked like death walking, had eaten very little since Saturday, not sleeping, was up all night last evening hallusinating thinking that someone was out to kill him and hearing voices. He regresses to a child and wants me to keep him safe. Meth a very bad drug and very difficult on me his mother who loves him dearly.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.