Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Thlayli · Thlayli

Hi. I'm new here. I decided to look for an Al-anon site because I've had good experience with other online bulletin boards and also because I just don't know who to talk to IRL. I don't want to go to a real meeting in my community because I work with juveniles and often refer their parents to Al-anon......

Jeff · Jeff

Thanks for all of the support on this issue..... I was provided sole custody today....supervised visits for my AW with no alcohol at any house my kids are at....random alcohol tests for both of us (I volunteered) and the supervisors. Huge sigh of relief for me....its been a long couple of weeks. Thank...

Rip123 · Rip123

I recently called child protective services out of concern for my newphew. My sister has been an addict/alcoholic for 13 years, and now that she has a child, I felt he needed an advocate. I have seen her drive him while drunk, go outside to smoke while he was inside, and she sleeps until about 11 am. He...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hi friends...its been over a week since Ive been on here because I have thrown myself into work and anything I can to avoid my feelings. As you probably know, I broke up with my ABF because it got too out of control. Now he is promising the world and telling me how hurt he is. It kills me to see him in so much pai...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

As I ponder over my life as of today, I realize that I cannot change the past but I wish I could alter it sometimes. I still have a lot of guilt over what I did to my sister while on vacation. It seems like whenever I hurt someone in my family, it is her! Even though the past is the PAST I still feel like I am always...

Pushka · Pushka

I'm dealing with some resentment with the situation because of the not driving issue. My husband asked if I would drive him in early to work that usually means 4 hours early. I don't mind he's been really consistent with getting a ride just no one he works with goes in at that hour. So whatever, that me...

Lozza · Lozza

Hi i struggle every day as an ACOH and I pity my parents as well as loathe them at the same time. It is hard

ifa · ifa

I went to a meeting last night, had not been to one for several years. I was exhausted from not sleeping and had to go to work today. So I thought I should stay home last night and go to bed, but knew I wouldn't sleep anyway, especially with the fireworks. I have been feeling desperate because my qualifier s...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, many of you know that my dh has been drinking again. First he was doing it secretly, then I started just allowing him to do it in the open(maybe that was because I wanted to keep track? maybe it was because I felt he'd be less inclined to hide it?). So, now he does both. DUH! Stupid move on my part. I...

xdanker · xdanker

I WANT TO ADOPT SOME OF THE WAYS A NORMIE THINKS. IM SO JEALOUS. I DONT REMEMBER HOW TO BE SOBER. I HATE DRINKING BUT I STILL DO IT. NEED TIPS ON HOW TO CHANGE. ITS LIKE I FORGET HOW MUCH I HATE IT WHEN IM SOBER. UNTILL THAT BUZ KICKS IN AND I FEEL SO CRAPPY. ITS A DAILY CYCLE FOR 15 YEARS AT LEAST. PLEASE DONT TEL...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I have been missing my MIP peeps! I have been working way too much, but it is peak season where I live and have to take what I can in the Summer months. My lil one just turned 3 and my divorce will be final in 2 weeks. Life has been very complicated and stressful. I do see my blessings in the midst of my life right...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... Made it back safe and sound from my 1100 mile Road trip on my Harley :0) It was Beautiful, we went around the Finger lakes in NY and there was a lot of Very "Country" settings, which is what I love... And being close to the lakes & water was for sure a Bonus... We didn't get Much time to...

Pushka · Pushka

It's the time of the year that I must call upon my skills as a worm whisperer .. lol. We have a good size garden and this year is our second year of planting a garden. I'm very proud of my AH he has a natural green thumb. We've had different ideas and it's all worked out. I have officially been the proud own...

youfoundme · youfoundme

When I actually apply what I am learning and use it in all my affairs, I can see how much better I am getting. I am about to ask someone to sponsor me...I am so nervous but so excited to move on and move forward. At work, I am at the front desk. Someone above me asked me a few weeks ago if I would be interested i...

Pushka · Pushka

So glad I went, I've been a little flaky being consistent recently. Kids home for the summer it's a little harder to get to f2f meetings. It's nice just being with everyone at home. I am always glad I go. The topic was worry and (irrational) fear. Great shares. :) I'm thankful that I have the opportuni...

alexmaui · alexmaui

..I have been to about 6 different meetings all over my town. I found one i liked but it became so big that there was a feeling of being lost in a crowd. Last night i went to a really badly run meeting...all kinds of people who THOUGHT they were funny....pointless sharing- I walked out. So what do you do if yo...

Norma · Norma

I am suffering alot of anxiety today because I am realizing that I have been involved with the cycle of abuse with my Huband, the healther I get the more I see the cycle and it is scary because my tolerance for abuse is before I started alanon I did not see the cycle so clearly, so I am wondering if me wanting...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

The 4th of July has always been a family day for us. It's one of only two days that my AH closes the bar/restaurant he owns for the day. Since we're now seperated and the kids are all grown and out of the house, he and I had no plans for the day. I called him earlier this week and suggested that we take a ride in th...

oldergal · oldergal

I have figured out because there has never been a healthy relationship between my Ason and me his mother it has really been an obsessive type of relationship, me obsessing about his drinking and livelihood. Now after 13 years I am doing the Alanon program and have detached from him mentally and geogr...

MixedFeelings · MixedFeelings

I'm new to this so bare with me. I just really needed a place to vent. My husband admitted himself into a 10 month rehab program last thursday. He's been a drug addict for about 19 years. It started with heroin in his teens and is now opiates and all kinds of pain killers. I left him 2 years ago, got a divorce,...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi all.... just got back from an awesome week of suntanning and being a tourist in Oahu, with my Mom and my two awesome kids.... It was a wonderful holiday, and I loved the beauty, the heat, and the people.... To all of our residents of Hawaii on MIP, I am officially jealous of your place of residence!! To...

HopeAlive · HopeAlive

Hello My stepson's fiance is a wonderful young lady & I think very highly of her. Yesterday for the 7/4 holiday, they came over for a visit. Around 3p she opened the bottle of wine she brought saying she couldn't wait for dinner. By 8pm she had drank the entire bottle of wine. The more she drank, the l...

lissa · lissa

hi, im new to this sight, my husband is a alcoholic, ive been going to go to a al-anon meeting but i live in a small town, and am afriad od who i will run into, i hope this sight will help me, i need friends that know how i feel. any way well see if im doing this right

ythannah · ythannah

Still struggling with the Higher Power concept here. It occurs to me that maybe I don't know what I'm supposed to be listening to or looking for. I know I can't trust my "inner voice" because that is the one that plays all the old negative tapes from my childhood and tells me I'm stupid, worthl...

Samsgram · Samsgram

I don`t know if any of you remember how I spoke to an officer at one point in time after I heard about my daughter slamming my gd into the wall because she didn`t like her having feelings. I told him how dcf has never been there for this child neither has the school. My daughter seems to have manipulated many...

New Member · oldgraduate

Hello to all. I am oldgraduate and have just joined. I have a long history with a drinker, my husband. He will say he's not an alcoholic, but uses alcohol in a nonconstructive way. I grew up believing all drinking was wrong, he grew up seeing his family drink every day. We have had issues in our marriage of...

Debilyn · Debilyn

And this is the Stinker you wanted me to kiss for you???? Are you a nutcase??? hugs honey. debilyn

jqueen · jqueen

Hi I am new to this. I am a daughter of an alcholic/drug abuser. I have a teen daughter who's father (estranged for 12 years) died of a heroin overdose last year and recently broke up with my boyfriend of a year after figuring out he is most likely an alchoholic. My daughter is doing very well and we have gr...

ifa · ifa

Hi, I have been doing the 12 steps for a long time, maybe 20 years, although I have not been to meetings in the past 10. A lot of the meetings around here closed. Also I got very busy. But the 12 steps and slogans of alanon have been the philosophy I try to live by, and they got me through all kinds of sorrows. I...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Sorry but I feel like I`am just spewing same ole crap over and over. I feel lost and alone. My daughter has been hitting my gd at least once a week lately. Tonite the phone rings late and I didnt get it on time. I called their house back. (btw she has been with me for the past 4-5 days and this is her first nite ba...

cdane · cdane

Hi i'm Christine and i'm writing for some advice I hope someone can help me with I really don't know who to speak to about this. I really admire your organisation and think you do a great thing for all those that don't really have other people to discuss about their loved one's drinking problem. The situ...

jamfu · jamfu

I wrote this to her the other day. Thought I might share it "I was talking with adam yesterday about my life , and his. We spoke for several hours. We both have had a great talk to clear each others' hearts and minds. I can say he is my best true friend. At the end of the day I realized you abused me. Im not...

Kristi136188 · Kristi136188

I've had a VERY rough weekend. I thought it was going to be wonderful because my husband was in town and we were having some extra money. It started on Friday. I took my cat to the vet because he had been pretty sick and not eating. Come to find out my cat was in liver failure and dying. So I had to put him to slee...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

wife has been sober for four months, kids are starting to trust her and they have been so happy having her. She drank at the neighborhood 4th of July party, she was visibly intoxicated. I had to send her home. I haven't and am not going to tell the kids, but they might figure it out. Program is so much ea...

Lacey · Lacey

For several years now my mum has drank heavily however since her divorce with my dad and my sister left for university she seems to just be getting worse. She says she doesnt have a problem and that she just enjoys a drink. i know i am only a child but i know what i see isnt normal behaviour and many family mem...

MDK · MDK

This is what happened last night my husband's old friends came around the house last night.................I am sure most of you know what this means. He got so messed up on uppers and downers it was like seeing him drunk all over again. I guess I need to get what I am feeling off of my chest because I was a l...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Last nights meeting was on Motives. We read from Courage to change on motives and shared about our motives and what we are doing about them. There were some really great shares. It seems that fear, anxiety, past experiences, control, and manipulation were the biggest motives. Mine are so foggy s...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

This weekend of having no plans is getting me down. No one has called, invited me to do anything or even checked in to ask how my weekend is going. I don't really blame them - I haven't called anyone to see what they're doin either. My husband has been drinking so I can't speak to him or hang out with him. When...

Loupiness · Loupiness

This recovery process is such an inte resting journey. I have a really hard time actively working the program while emeshed in my life, but at the same time I know it is working. Regardless, of me doing it less than well sometimes, it works. Miracles are everywhere, and when I slow down enough to lo...

Pushka · Pushka

We have a little stray that is not really a stray .. lol .. she is a little barn cat. As sweet as you wanna see though. We keep dry food and water out for her and she kills the mice I'm all over that .. lol. She was pregnant, a little young thing, we knew she recently had babies and as crazy as the weather has b...

tommyecat · tommyecat

~ Hum to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies ~This is a little story about a gal named Deb Who took the best pics and kept evrbody fedThen one day with her MIP family, she came with pics of her canine family. Cute that is, precious souls, priceless family Hey Debilyn, thanks for sharing the smiles. I j...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Just a few reasons I stay sane, or they make me crazy!! daughter, gson, gson in hat, son animals, first AH and me who I lost in '81 Present ex AH lost in 02 my undaughter and unson who moved here from Ca. and I am sooo blessed by them! -- Edited by Debilyn on Saturday 2nd of July 2011 05:57:16 PM

Betterfuture · Betterfuture

So.. I dont know what's going on. I have made an appointment with my doctor next week. I have been feeling numb but anxious and just really strange. I felt like I was okay since we separated... sad, but ok. However, these past few days have been really strange. I just feel so BLAH. IDK how else to explain it...

Betterfuture · Betterfuture

Soo.. after 3 weeks of silence (except from his mother) my AH called me today. I didn't answer because well I just didn't really want to talk to him. Now this is amazing for me because any attention I get from him after a few weeks of nothing would have had me picking up my phone before the first ring ended....

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Briefly: the ugliest dog this year is kinda a member of my family! She is my step-sister's dog & she has been all over showing her off! Her name is YODA! I just thought I would let everyone know cause it is exciting to me! Kathleen

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

Hello to all: Hope you all are enjoying the holiday. Just wanted to share about this wonderful experience at the yearly Round Up ConventionI attended this weekend. They had wonderful speakers (AA/Alanon).The opening ceremony was just amazing. The speaker was a 22 yr. alcoholic survivor. His stor...

Pushka · Pushka

Has anyone ever experienced total hostility from good friends (I'd consider them family) about going to alanon? I'm a little taken a back from a response I got from someone I care about and value dearly. In all fairness they are aware of what I have been through, know from their own experience of deal...

jamfu · jamfu

Ok my ex AGF called me today at work today. Told me she was going to quit her job move to california with her sister, and be her sister's child's nanny unitl she starts school again next year. I cant believe they would trust her with that child , and from earlier posts, some of you probably know the objectio...

atheos · atheos

I am an atheist. I have been an atheist for most of my adult life, and I have no interest in "finding religion" even if I were able (and I definitely went through a phase of trying, but I could never really believe when deep down in my gut I knew it wasn't real). Long before I discovered Al-Anon, I...

tommyecat · tommyecat

Heard this week in a meeting...."Recovery is a journey between two stations. One station represents total chaos, and the other represents total serenity. What is important is not where you are, but what direction you are facing."Isn't that the truth!

jerald · jerald

I am new here, so please bear with my long post. First let me say that I am a recovering alcoholic of 25 years and have been sober now for 6. My Catholic faith is the key to my continued sobriety and it is only by the grace of God that keeps me sober, no matter how tempted I get to take a drink. I attend no AA meetin...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

I've been away from here too long and it's wonderful to read all of your posts. Still struggling, trying to constantly remind myself to butt out of my AH's recovery (or lack thereof, as the case may be). Still feeling lonely and isolated, tried reaching out to friends but everyone is busy. I am still lac...

Whisperine · Whisperine

Here's my current and most pressing life dilemma--my dad. He's a "dry drunk," I believe is the term. He's been "in recovery" for more than a year. He goes to countless meetings. But he has a mindset that this is all mean to hasten his recovery and make him better faster. I have only...

dotmeg · dotmeg

My husband and I are legally separated (have been for 3 years). This week his mother found out that she has cancer. He is in jail and will be until about the end of July or beginning of August. There is a possibility she could die before he gets out of jail. He asked his sister to call his lawyer and s...

mcbgrad · mcbgrad

How do you deal with the constant self serving attitude of the Alcoholic? She's now in AA but I think it's worse than ever. It's all about her needs first, totally ignoreing me. I don't know what to do anymore. She's been in AA for 3 months, drinking stopped, GREAT! but selfhishness has not and perha...

Katy · Katy

I thought my perception of what I thought of people and what they thought of me was correct, I hadn't learnt that feelings arn't facts, and that when I could learn to percieve things in an healthy way, I could see things with new eyes. As I am working with this new boundary with our son, my perception of wh...

Pushka · Pushka

I'm struggling with this particular issue at the moment. I have been working very hard at my control issues, need to be right, having the last word and so on. Classic co-dependent issues in a relationship with an addict. How is control different than a boundary? I hear a lot about boundaries being...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I've been in the process of trying to buy a house for the last month and a half or so. It has not been fun. Although I had fun finding the house I wanted to buy, and the offer and acceptance part went fine, we have had a lot of trouble getting final approval for our loan. It's brought up many issues for me, an...

Lyne · Lyne

So I did have a wonderful time with my family last night until it was time to drive home. My spouse not only didn't feel well, had a headache, and her eyes hurt, but she drank some amount of alcohol and perhaps had a xanax earlier in the day. I did stay calm but decided she was NOT driving us home, about a 40 m...

Lyne · Lyne

I am amazed that I can cope well for long periods of time with my A, and then all my skills and strengths just fall away. I'm in the unable to cope mode for the last two weeks. It was two weekends ago where she lied to me again, and last weekend she drank again. I'm the one who is supposed to change because...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	New here (Preview) Hi. I'm new here. I decided to look for an Al-anon site because I've had good experience with other online bulletin boards and also because I just don't know who to talk to IRL. I don't want to go to a real meeting in my community because I work with juveniles and often refer their parents to Al-anon......	Thlayli	11	451	Jul 8, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
	Custody of my boys (Preview) Thanks for all of the support on this issue..... I was provided sole custody today....supervised visits for my AW with no alcohol at any house my kids are at....random alcohol tests for both of us (I volunteered) and the supervisors. Huge sigh of relief for me....its been a long couple of weeks. Thank...	Jeff	11	545	Jul 8, 2011 by RLC
	Don't know what to do (Preview) I recently called child protective services out of concern for my newphew. My sister has been an addict/alcoholic for 13 years, and now that she has a child, I felt he needed an advocate. I have seen her drive him while drunk, go outside to smoke while he was inside, and she sleeps until about 11 am. He...	Rip123	7	667	Jul 8, 2011 by Rip123
	Just need to be here (Preview) Hi friends...its been over a week since Ive been on here because I have thrown myself into work and anything I can to avoid my feelings. As you probably know, I broke up with my ABF because it got too out of control. Now he is promising the world and telling me how hurt he is. It kills me to see him in so much pai...	Corgi2	7	632	Jul 8, 2011 by flopadopilus
	as I ponder... (Preview) As I ponder over my life as of today, I realize that I cannot change the past but I wish I could alter it sometimes. I still have a lot of guilt over what I did to my sister while on vacation. It seems like whenever I hurt someone in my family, it is her! Even though the past is the PAST I still feel like I am always...	Hoot Nanny	3	456	Jul 8, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Collateral Damage .. (vent) (Preview) I'm dealing with some resentment with the situation because of the not driving issue. My husband asked if I would drive him in early to work that usually means 4 hours early. I don't mind he's been really consistent with getting a ride just no one he works with goes in at that hour. So whatever, that me...	Pushka	2	534	Jul 8, 2011 by Katy
	The Black Dog follows me around not sure what this means (Preview) Hi i struggle every day as an ACOH and I pity my parents as well as loathe them at the same time. It is hard	Lozza	3	657	Jul 8, 2011 by flopadopilus
	meeting (Preview) I went to a meeting last night, had not been to one for several years. I was exhausted from not sleeping and had to go to work today. So I thought I should stay home last night and go to bed, but knew I wouldn't sleep anyway, especially with the fireworks. I have been feeling desperate because my qualifier s...	ifa	11	719	Jul 7, 2011 by freeagain
	Help me out here (Preview) So, many of you know that my dh has been drinking again. First he was doing it secretly, then I started just allowing him to do it in the open(maybe that was because I wanted to keep track? maybe it was because I felt he'd be less inclined to hide it?). So, now he does both. DUH! Stupid move on my part. I...	ilovedogs	12	831	Jul 7, 2011 by Iris lover of dogs
	HOW DO NORMIES THINK (Preview) I WANT TO ADOPT SOME OF THE WAYS A NORMIE THINKS. IM SO JEALOUS. I DONT REMEMBER HOW TO BE SOBER. I HATE DRINKING BUT I STILL DO IT. NEED TIPS ON HOW TO CHANGE. ITS LIKE I FORGET HOW MUCH I HATE IT WHEN IM SOBER. UNTILL THAT BUZ KICKS IN AND I FEEL SO CRAPPY. ITS A DAILY CYCLE FOR 15 YEARS AT LEAST. PLEASE DONT TEL...	xdanker	12	1257	Jul 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	Been too busy! (Preview) I have been missing my MIP peeps! I have been working way too much, but it is peak season where I live and have to take what I can in the Summer months. My lil one just turned 3 and my divorce will be final in 2 weeks. Life has been very complicated and stressful. I do see my blessings in the midst of my life right...	flopadopilus	4	531	Jul 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	Made it Back :) (Preview) Welp... Made it back safe and sound from my 1100 mile Road trip on my Harley :0) It was Beautiful, we went around the Finger lakes in NY and there was a lot of Very "Country" settings, which is what I love... And being close to the lakes & water was for sure a Bonus... We didn't get Much time to...	Jozie	6	550	Jul 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	Worm Whisperer (Preview) It's the time of the year that I must call upon my skills as a worm whisperer .. lol. We have a good size garden and this year is our second year of planting a garden. I'm very proud of my AH he has a natural green thumb. We've had different ideas and it's all worked out. I have officially been the proud own...	Pushka	9	592	Jul 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	Every day is a winding road (Preview) When I actually apply what I am learning and use it in all my affairs, I can see how much better I am getting. I am about to ask someone to sponsor me...I am so nervous but so excited to move on and move forward. At work, I am at the front desk. Someone above me asked me a few weeks ago if I would be interested i...	youfoundme	5	365	Jul 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	Meeting tonight .. (Preview) So glad I went, I've been a little flaky being consistent recently. Kids home for the summer it's a little harder to get to f2f meetings. It's nice just being with everyone at home. I am always glad I go. The topic was worry and (irrational) fear. Great shares. :) I'm thankful that I have the opportuni...	Pushka	2	459	Jul 7, 2011 by youfoundme
	Disappointed in f2f meetings (Preview) ..I have been to about 6 different meetings all over my town. I found one i liked but it became so big that there was a feeling of being lost in a crowd. Last night i went to a really badly run meeting...all kinds of people who THOUGHT they were funny....pointless sharing- I walked out. So what do you do if yo...	alexmaui	11	662	Jul 7, 2011 by youfoundme
	cycle of abuse, or dry drunk (Preview) I am suffering alot of anxiety today because I am realizing that I have been involved with the cycle of abuse with my Huband, the healther I get the more I see the cycle and it is scary because my tolerance for abuse is before I started alanon I did not see the cycle so clearly, so I am wondering if me wanting...	Norma	5	1002	Jul 7, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Working My Program- One Day at a Time (Preview) The 4th of July has always been a family day for us. It's one of only two days that my AH closes the bar/restaurant he owns for the day. Since we're now seperated and the kids are all grown and out of the house, he and I had no plans for the day. I called him earlier this week and suggested that we take a ride in th...	Green Eyes	7	684	Jul 6, 2011 by Green Eyes
	FEELING BLAU, NO ENERGY, NO PASSION (Preview) I have figured out because there has never been a healthy relationship between my Ason and me his mother it has really been an obsessive type of relationship, me obsessing about his drinking and livelihood. Now after 13 years I am doing the Alanon program and have detached from him mentally and geogr...	oldergal	8	590	Jul 6, 2011 by Ness
	New here - needed to vent (Preview) I'm new to this so bare with me. I just really needed a place to vent. My husband admitted himself into a 10 month rehab program last thursday. He's been a drug addict for about 19 years. It started with heroin in his teens and is now opiates and all kinds of pain killers. I left him 2 years ago, got a divorce,...	MixedFeelings	11	722	Jul 6, 2011 by stephaniej
	aloha (Preview) Hi all.... just got back from an awesome week of suntanning and being a tourist in Oahu, with my Mom and my two awesome kids.... It was a wonderful holiday, and I loved the beauty, the heat, and the people.... To all of our residents of Hawaii on MIP, I am officially jealous of your place of residence!! To...	canadianguy	9	974	Jul 6, 2011 by stephaniej
	Should I be concerned about her drinking? (Preview) Hello My stepson's fiance is a wonderful young lady & I think very highly of her. Yesterday for the 7/4 holiday, they came over for a visit. Around 3p she opened the bottle of wine she brought saying she couldn't wait for dinner. By 8pm she had drank the entire bottle of wine. The more she drank, the l...	HopeAlive	5	562	Jul 6, 2011 by HopeAlive
	hello (Preview) hi, im new to this sight, my husband is a alcoholic, ive been going to go to a al-anon meeting but i live in a small town, and am afriad od who i will run into, i hope this sight will help me, i need friends that know how i feel. any way well see if im doing this right	lissa	5	527	Jul 6, 2011 by xeno59
	How does HP answer/guide you? (Preview) Still struggling with the Higher Power concept here. It occurs to me that maybe I don't know what I'm supposed to be listening to or looking for. I know I can't trust my "inner voice" because that is the one that plays all the old negative tapes from my childhood and tells me I'm stupid, worthl...	ythannah	14	626	Jul 6, 2011 by Jennifer
	Follow up to my previous post about daughter & grandaughter (Preview) I don`t know if any of you remember how I spoke to an officer at one point in time after I heard about my daughter slamming my gd into the wall because she didn`t like her having feelings. I told him how dcf has never been there for this child neither has the school. My daughter seems to have manipulated many...	Samsgram	7	548	Jul 6, 2011 by youfoundme
	New Member (Preview) Hello to all. I am oldgraduate and have just joined. I have a long history with a drinker, my husband. He will say he's not an alcoholic, but uses alcohol in a nonconstructive way. I grew up believing all drinking was wrong, he grew up seeing his family drink every day. We have had issues in our marriage of...	oldgraduate	6	685	Jul 6, 2011 by Jadie
	For Otie (Preview) And this is the Stinker you wanted me to kiss for you???? Are you a nutcase??? hugs honey. debilyn	Debilyn	0	379	Jul 6, 2011 by Debilyn
	New to any kind of support (Preview) Hi I am new to this. I am a daughter of an alcholic/drug abuser. I have a teen daughter who's father (estranged for 12 years) died of a heroin overdose last year and recently broke up with my boyfriend of a year after figuring out he is most likely an alchoholic. My daughter is doing very well and we have gr...	jqueen	4	414	Jul 5, 2011 by jqueen
	Grief (Preview) Hi, I have been doing the 12 steps for a long time, maybe 20 years, although I have not been to meetings in the past 10. A lot of the meetings around here closed. Also I got very busy. But the 12 steps and slogans of alanon have been the philosophy I try to live by, and they got me through all kinds of sorrows. I...	ifa	11	752	Jul 5, 2011 by ifa
	Daughter hit my grandaughter again (Preview) Sorry but I feel like I`am just spewing same ole crap over and over. I feel lost and alone. My daughter has been hitting my gd at least once a week lately. Tonite the phone rings late and I didnt get it on time. I called their house back. (btw she has been with me for the past 4-5 days and this is her first nite ba...	Samsgram	8	662	Jul 5, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Really would appreciate some advice partner recovering but talking of drinking someday again (Preview) Hi i'm Christine and i'm writing for some advice I hope someone can help me with I really don't know who to speak to about this. I really admire your organisation and think you do a great thing for all those that don't really have other people to discuss about their loved one's drinking problem. The situ...	cdane	5	560	Jul 5, 2011 by Pushka
	I think i found step 1 (Preview) I wrote this to her the other day. Thought I might share it "I was talking with adam yesterday about my life , and his. We spoke for several hours. We both have had a great talk to clear each others' hearts and minds. I can say he is my best true friend. At the end of the day I realized you abused me. Im not...	jamfu	3	414	Jul 5, 2011 by jamfu
	step 2....being VERY tested (Preview) I've had a VERY rough weekend. I thought it was going to be wonderful because my husband was in town and we were having some extra money. It started on Friday. I took my cat to the vet because he had been pretty sick and not eating. Come to find out my cat was in liver failure and dying. So I had to put him to slee...	Kristi136188	5	519	Jul 5, 2011 by xeno59
	sad (Preview) wife has been sober for four months, kids are starting to trust her and they have been so happy having her. She drank at the neighborhood 4th of July party, she was visibly intoxicated. I had to send her home. I haven't and am not going to tell the kids, but they might figure it out. Program is so much ea...	DadtoCandE	5	611	Jul 5, 2011 by xeno59
	my mum is an alcoholic, i cant watch her do this anymore (Preview) For several years now my mum has drank heavily however since her divorce with my dad and my sister left for university she seems to just be getting worse. She says she doesnt have a problem and that she just enjoys a drink. i know i am only a child but i know what i see isnt normal behaviour and many family mem...	Lacey	19	2542	Jul 5, 2011 by Debilyn
	getting it off of my chest (Preview) This is what happened last night my husband's old friends came around the house last night.................I am sure most of you know what this means. He got so messed up on uppers and downers it was like seeing him drunk all over again. I guess I need to get what I am feeling off of my chest because I was a l...	MDK	6	452	Jul 5, 2011 by youfoundme
	Motives, what are yours and what are you doing about it? (Preview) Last nights meeting was on Motives. We read from Courage to change on motives and shared about our motives and what we are doing about them. There were some really great shares. It seems that fear, anxiety, past experiences, control, and manipulation were the biggest motives. Mine are so foggy s...	youfoundme	10	833	Jul 5, 2011 by oldgraduate
	Tired (Preview) This weekend of having no plans is getting me down. No one has called, invited me to do anything or even checked in to ask how my weekend is going. I don't really blame them - I haven't called anyone to see what they're doin either. My husband has been drinking so I can't speak to him or hang out with him. When...	Mlkiss75	13	678	Jul 4, 2011 by Pushka
	funny how that works... (Preview) This recovery process is such an inte resting journey. I have a really hard time actively working the program while emeshed in my life, but at the same time I know it is working. Regardless, of me doing it less than well sometimes, it works. Miracles are everywhere, and when I slow down enough to lo...	Loupiness	8	761	Jul 4, 2011 by Pushka
	Nice news .. (Preview) We have a little stray that is not really a stray .. lol .. she is a little barn cat. As sweet as you wanna see though. We keep dry food and water out for her and she kills the mice I'm all over that .. lol. She was pregnant, a little young thing, we knew she recently had babies and as crazy as the weather has b...	Pushka	6	514	Jul 4, 2011 by Pushka
	For Debilyn (Preview) ~ Hum to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies ~This is a little story about a gal named Deb Who took the best pics and kept evrbody fedThen one day with her MIP family, she came with pics of her canine family. Cute that is, precious souls, priceless family Hey Debilyn, thanks for sharing the smiles. I j...	tommyecat	2	1051	Jul 4, 2011 by peacewithin
	What keeps YOU sane??? (Preview) Just a few reasons I stay sane, or they make me crazy!! daughter, gson, gson in hat, son animals, first AH and me who I lost in '81 Present ex AH lost in 02 my undaughter and unson who moved here from Ca. and I am sooo blessed by them! -- Edited by Debilyn on Saturday 2nd of July 2011 05:57:16 PM	Debilyn	16	806	Jul 4, 2011 by All I can be
	Numb (Preview) So.. I dont know what's going on. I have made an appointment with my doctor next week. I have been feeling numb but anxious and just really strange. I felt like I was okay since we separated... sad, but ok. However, these past few days have been really strange. I just feel so BLAH. IDK how else to explain it...	Betterfuture	11	755	Jul 4, 2011 by tommyecat
	About time.. (Preview) Soo.. after 3 weeks of silence (except from his mother) my AH called me today. I didn't answer because well I just didn't really want to talk to him. Now this is amazing for me because any attention I get from him after a few weeks of nothing would have had me picking up my phone before the first ring ended....	Betterfuture	5	496	Jul 4, 2011 by Debilyn
	UGLIEST DOG (Preview) Briefly: the ugliest dog this year is kinda a member of my family! She is my step-sister's dog & she has been all over showing her off! Her name is YODA! I just thought I would let everyone know cause it is exciting to me! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	7	580	Jul 4, 2011 by pineapple
	What an awesome Round Up convention in Torrance, California (Preview) Hello to all: Hope you all are enjoying the holiday. Just wanted to share about this wonderful experience at the yearly Round Up ConventionI attended this weekend. They had wonderful speakers (AA/Alanon).The opening ceremony was just amazing. The speaker was a 22 yr. alcoholic survivor. His stor...	hawaiilover	5	648	Jul 4, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Hostility .. (Preview) Has anyone ever experienced total hostility from good friends (I'd consider them family) about going to alanon? I'm a little taken a back from a response I got from someone I care about and value dearly. In all fairness they are aware of what I have been through, know from their own experience of deal...	Pushka	9	1387	Jul 4, 2011 by ythannah
	what do you guys think (Preview) Ok my ex AGF called me today at work today. Told me she was going to quit her job move to california with her sister, and be her sister's child's nanny unitl she starts school again next year. I cant believe they would trust her with that child , and from earlier posts, some of you probably know the objectio...	jamfu	10	645	Jul 4, 2011 by ythannah
	Anyone else have a non-deity higher power? (Preview) I am an atheist. I have been an atheist for most of my adult life, and I have no interest in "finding religion" even if I were able (and I definitely went through a phase of trying, but I could never really believe when deep down in my gut I knew it wasn't real). Long before I discovered Al-Anon, I...	atheos	11	702	Jul 4, 2011 by Diva
	Its the journey not the destination (Preview) Heard this week in a meeting...."Recovery is a journey between two stations. One station represents total chaos, and the other represents total serenity. What is important is not where you are, but what direction you are facing."Isn't that the truth!	tommyecat	1	405	Jul 3, 2011 by Tracy
	When to Stop Talking (Preview) I am new here, so please bear with my long post. First let me say that I am a recovering alcoholic of 25 years and have been sober now for 6. My Catholic faith is the key to my continued sobriety and it is only by the grace of God that keeps me sober, no matter how tempted I get to take a drink. I attend no AA meetin...	jerald	5	600	Jul 3, 2011 by bud
	Checking in (Preview) I've been away from here too long and it's wonderful to read all of your posts. Still struggling, trying to constantly remind myself to butt out of my AH's recovery (or lack thereof, as the case may be). Still feeling lonely and isolated, tried reaching out to friends but everyone is busy. I am still lac...	Mlkiss75	6	511	Jul 3, 2011 by Mlkiss75
	Not Sure How to Handle Things Right Now family matters newcomer (Preview) Here's my current and most pressing life dilemma--my dad. He's a "dry drunk," I believe is the term. He's been "in recovery" for more than a year. He goes to countless meetings. But he has a mindset that this is all mean to hasten his recovery and make him better faster. I have only...	Whisperine	5	3582	Jul 3, 2011 by Whisperine
	My husband (separated)'s mother just found out she has cancer/he is in jail (Preview) My husband and I are legally separated (have been for 3 years). This week his mother found out that she has cancer. He is in jail and will be until about the end of July or beginning of August. There is a possibility she could die before he gets out of jail. He asked his sister to call his lawyer and s...	dotmeg	7	600	Jul 3, 2011 by pinkchip
	Selfhishness (Preview) How do you deal with the constant self serving attitude of the Alcoholic? She's now in AA but I think it's worse than ever. It's all about her needs first, totally ignoreing me. I don't know what to do anymore. She's been in AA for 3 months, drinking stopped, GREAT! but selfhishness has not and perha...	mcbgrad	9	763	Jul 3, 2011 by tommyecat
	Perception! (Preview) I thought my perception of what I thought of people and what they thought of me was correct, I hadn't learnt that feelings arn't facts, and that when I could learn to percieve things in an healthy way, I could see things with new eyes. As I am working with this new boundary with our son, my perception of wh...	Katy	5	731	Jul 3, 2011 by tommyecat
	Control vs a Boundary (Preview) I'm struggling with this particular issue at the moment. I have been working very hard at my control issues, need to be right, having the last word and so on. Classic co-dependent issues in a relationship with an addict. How is control different than a boundary? I hear a lot about boundaries being...	Pushka	11	1340	Jul 2, 2011 by Pushka
	Not handling uncertainty very well (Preview) I've been in the process of trying to buy a house for the last month and a half or so. It has not been fun. Although I had fun finding the house I wanted to buy, and the offer and acceptance part went fine, we have had a lot of trouble getting final approval for our loan. It's brought up many issues for me, an...	White Rabbit	6	782	Jul 2, 2011 by Pushka
	Sat. night mess (Preview) So I did have a wonderful time with my family last night until it was time to drive home. My spouse not only didn't feel well, had a headache, and her eyes hurt, but she drank some amount of alcohol and perhaps had a xanax earlier in the day. I did stay calm but decided she was NOT driving us home, about a 40 m...	Lyne	5	443	Jul 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	coping vs no coping (Preview) I am amazed that I can cope well for long periods of time with my A, and then all my skills and strengths just fall away. I'm in the unable to cope mode for the last two weeks. It was two weekends ago where she lied to me again, and last weekend she drank again. I'm the one who is supposed to change because...	Lyne	7	769	Jul 2, 2011 by tommyecat
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.