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Be Grateful for the Pain
(Preview)
That is what my sponsor said to me this weekend. I thought to myself how could I really be grateful for the pain and confusion? I know from experience working with my sponsor I don't need to feel it to do it. Just take the action and do it. So I began writing yesterday to find out how. I wrote a gratitu...
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tommyecat
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13
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682
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boundaries with a struggling recovering AH
(Preview)
Hi all, my AH is very new to recovery, has tried now for several years to stop drinking but is struggling. He is going to AA and has completed one outpatient 90 day program and then one 30 day inpatient. Now I do believe he is drinking again - he hides it very well and has gone on binges w/out me knowing becau...
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kael1539
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10
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525
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Total nightmare!!!
(Preview)
Hey everybody, Most importantly: I owe more comments and attention to other posts, but my time is limited ,especially now! I have been able to read some posts, you guys are in my thoughts! Update/stressful rant: My RA has had almost 3 weeks to move, and has NOT moved out. He hasn't done anything at all...
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rara avis
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27
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825
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Abusive father
(Preview)
My father really liked to drink and when he did things got really ugly. My first nightmare was when I was 7 years old. One day, I came home from school and my father was the only one there and drunk. We lived in a condo on the 6th floor. He took me out on the balcony and asked me to count to 100, and so I started. We...
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Livinginfear
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15
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591
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I am confused!
(Preview)
Answer: It's none of my business, and it shouldn't matter to me why he is doing this. Question: AH had been dry/sober for quite some time, and recently decided that he could handle "a few drinks every now and again." While it certainly isn't what it was, the handful of times he has been out...
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Hot Chicka
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11
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574
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Quick update
(Preview)
Last nights meeting was awesome!! Loved it!!! We are working out of the book Pathways to Recovery and it's just an amazing read and share time with some amazing people. The friend issue is basically coming to a head exactly the way I saw it coming. My AH wanted to look like the good guy only to have his...
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Pushka
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4
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454
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He wont pay the bills
(Preview)
My AH and I are separated for almost a year. I am now planning a divorce. Here's my question. My husband is on my medical insurance and he uses it to go around to doctor shop and get his zanax and ambien. I keep getting these co payment bills because although he is the patient the insurance is in my name? He is...
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alexmaui
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10
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702
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Trust Hp
(Preview)
In the moring I have to find the money (200) to pay for a neighbours car to be fixed I bumped it when my ex mother in law died ;last weekend. I was going to use the money my abf has gone missing with that he owes me. I am in some financual trouble at mo and moving home just before christmas. My ABF knew all this ...
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Tracy
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4
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459
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bus didn't take long
(Preview)
Hi Well, you know how I was feeling like I waiting for that bus... well it arrived.. guess what.. its the same bus. For some reason I thought he had thought about things and there was a change in the air. Nope.... he smoked this morning right after I left for work. I asked him why and he said he felt like it...
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Lindaoakford
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19
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482
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Do It Now!!
(Preview)
Holy cow, I have to strike while the iron is hot when it comes to my domestic goddess challenges. I had the house looking soooo lovely about a week ago and I'm soooo glad I took those before and after pictures because I keep going back to them. It has made such a big difference to be able to see the before an...
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Pushka
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6
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465
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birthdays, holidays, weddings, births and deaths
(Preview)
Regarding furneral for Ex "father in law" type person. My ex A Boyfriend said there is not really going to be a "service" just a "gathering" of friends etc. at the funeral home. He said he wasn't really comfortable "receiving" alot of attention and that m...
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glad
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3
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461
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Still here...just been a very emotionally draining week
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I haven't forgotten about you all here. The week has been very long and stressful. I have checked in to read posts to keep me on track just haven't had the mental energy at the end of the day to write. There have been alot of ups and downs this week with my AH. Last week I posted about testing my bo...
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Jonesy0505
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10
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425
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No Problems, Only Solutions - What the Heck?
(Preview)
Hi All, This morning we got up early to tackle a hedge, trim it back, before the sun was blazing down on us. As we worked, I noticed how light I felt and that my mind was not plagued with worry as it always was in the past. I thought about why I feel so differently these days. The answer came in a form of a song....
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GailMichelle
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11
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650
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Short and oh so sweet!
(Preview)
The idea of attending alanon face to face meetings even if you don't think it is for you or even if it seems like it's not "helping" is such a wonderful thing. I first attended alanon in Dec 2008 I think. I didn't really see changes in my situation until recently BUT it seems like my brain is draw...
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glad
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6
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432
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That face
(Preview)
Like many of you, I grew up in an alcoholic household, with both parents being heavy daily drinkers. Amazing how I find myself reliving some of those bad memories now with my wife. I have a picture from when I graduated college, about 20 years ago. I'm standing next to my now deceased mom, who was in a whee...
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usedtobeanyer
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6
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496
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Its been a week....
(Preview)
Well its been a week since my AH went to jail. And last weekend when I posted I never thought I would make it, or thought it would get easier. But it has, when he got his furlough tuesday that helped me emotionally a lot. And during this week I did a lot of thinking and reflecting back. And I realize how I did no...
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jmanning
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9
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534
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Processing changes with the tools
(Preview)
Practicing the principles in all my affairs: I am really trying to stay in the day and let go of the unknowns until I need to know about them. There is a likely chance that we could have to move for a couple yrs. while hubby has a contract to work in DC. I am nervous about living in or so near to a large city. I am n...
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luv123
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3
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422
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mmm WOW!!!!!!
(Preview)
Again I am so very thankful for my higher power mostly and for this board and for alanon. Earlier this week I spoke with my ex A boyfriend by phone about his sick father and basicly a "how are you call" in the past I couldn't even look at or speak to my ex without crying and then staying in bed all a...
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glad
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4
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521
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Long conversation with Ex-A
(Preview)
It has been 3 years since we split up. Ironically 1 week away from 3 years sober for me cuz my first day sober was the day we split. So anyhow, I talked to my ex for like an hour and a half. He is the type of alcoholic that typically finds another alcoholic or addict that drinks or drugs worse than him and the...
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pinkchip
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10
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784
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Loving an Alcoholic
(Preview)
Did I ever think that this was possible?? NO! I found it hard to really love my mother because of alcoholism, my ex was an alcoholic...and now I've let myself get involved with a man who has known me for years, who is an alcoholic, who is married and who hit me for the first time a week ago. I've never been h...
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Irene
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13
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1026
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Feeling Twitchy and Itchy ..
(Preview)
Which translates to I def need to get to a meeting, thank goodness there is one tonight. There's a lot going on at the moment and I have concerns over how my mother is choosing to grieve. I'm all about everyone needs to grieve in their own way, (I worked at a funeral home) there are issues though and right...
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Pushka
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6
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602
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First Post...
(Preview)
Hello, -I went to my first Al-anon meeting last Monday night. IT was a very overwhelming experience - - made me wonder if I had what it took to hear the stories of those who shared... I shared my story, too, and it was good to be able to talk about things. briefly, I am two-years into a second marriage, af...
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HDgem
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8
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515
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precipice (sp?)
(Preview)
Hi guys As you may remember, I just got back from holidays with my husband. For the holidays I had a 'straight' husband. All the issues that I thought would happen, didn't happen. Basically he didn't get the opportunity to smoke because none of my friends do, and my sisters birthday proved that she ha...
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Lindaoakford
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4
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465
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Some comfort please?
(Preview)
Hi, My big brother is the alcoholic. He is 32 and I am 22. He stopped drinking 3 years ago and since then we have become ever so close. He is the best big brother in the world. However, today he has slipped. He has been dating a lovely lady recently and his emotions have taken over him, so much that he has st...
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littlesister
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9
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620
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My sponsor just turned my head inside-out!
(Preview)
I was telling her about something my dad had said to me, and she bluntly said "that's abuse". She said the same thing about a couple other childhood moments I shared with her. ...I'd heard of verbal/emotional abuse before, and had come to the conclusion that A) it's mostly something made up...
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atheos
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5
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716
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I'm getting there
(Preview)
Hi. I have just come in from an evening out at a local restaurant with Son, Daughter & Partner to celebrate what would have been my husband, Stephen's 64th birthday (it is now 22.35 in the UK). What a waste! We should have been enjoying retirement by now and doing all sorts of things. But it was not to b...
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Tattyhead
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4
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329
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Realizing That Life Happens whether I'm ready or Not!
(Preview)
Hey MIP... Missed you All... Sorry been Away for awhile but Life seems to just Keep on Keepin On even if My feet Never seem to Hit the Floor... Same stuff Differant way, but I am Getting by the Best I can and with a Pretty Awesome HP helping me get over the Hurdles... You know the More I looked at "ME&quo...
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Jozie
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2
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368
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love
(Preview)
Why do i want do be in love? I find myself looking for it everywhere. I still very much love my ex A, but found out from some friends that she cheated. She admitted to them while drunk. I found out over labor day. Damn i wish things had been different. I keep going to meetings and things do not seem to get any be...
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jamfu
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10
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691
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just a minute!
(Preview)
I was just thinking about the expression: NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! Isn't that kind of funny. I never thought of that before. My sponsor has a lot of wisdom & experience--she has been in the Program for almost 13 years. I know what she says comes from her heart. I have nothing but respect & adm...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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501
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iv just forgotten my mums birthday....and shes "livid" and to be honest i dont care!!!!!
(Preview)
so- this is my mum- a dry drunk and completely self obsessed. so she phones me up tonight and says....(in her "Im having a funny with you " voice") and says it was her birthday and she didnt get a card and she said "its funny when people do that to yu- you dont like it" and then she...
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rosielee
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9
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722
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back from Perth
(Preview)
HI I am back from my 9 day trip to my family of origin in Perth. there was not hassles at all. Normal family frustrations but thats it. I was worried about my sister wanting to 'party on' and arguing with my Dad and my husband getting into the 'party scene'. None of that happened. I felt my HP wiht me in ma...
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Lindaoakford
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10
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541
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A few more recent photos
(Preview)
Just a random fishing photo at sunset...2 monarchs still in crysalis's and 1 monarch open and alive....
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youfoundme
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6
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299
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Sunday night's meeting
(Preview)
I'm not going to make it for Sunday evening's meeting again this week. So I would like to ask for someone to try to cover for me at the 7 p.m. Sunday night meeting of the current OP's. Since mom moved into the VA home August 15th, I thought I'd have MORE time to do things and instead I have LESS. Today we are ha...
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Overcome
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0
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321
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Please don't confront me with my failures. I have not forgotten them
(Preview)
I am reading this book by David Sheff called Beautiful Boy. Its about the father's side of what went on when his son was addicted to drugs (meth, heroin, pills, what have you). He mentions alanon in it and going to meetings which is nice. I know its not conference approved, but the sentence that struc...
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youfoundme
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15
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1256
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Stressed beyond words.
(Preview)
I feel like I'm at the end of my rope and just grasping an ounce of serenity. It had already been through a rough couple of weeks with my active AH. I've come to realize my AH is jealous of my family. We have been married going on 10 years and I thought after all these years he would accept Them and love them lik...
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sarebaer
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7
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485
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sorry need to get this out.
(Preview)
My Abf has gone missing with mney he owes me and his mum. I really need it I am in bit of a financual mess. I am so angrey went to get his nieces baby because I was baby sitting fr her she told me she did not know where he was. I went to collect her baby from another house where she had been dumped and the girl tol...
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Tracy
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7
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562
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8 years ago
(Preview)
My wife and I have been married 21 years. No children. When she quit work about 8 years ago, she began drinking more than social drinking. In that time period, she lost her parents, then as time went on, she lost most of her friends. She used the bottle as an excape. Her health became a challenge and the d...
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dean
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5
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490
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CoDA Board
(Preview)
Just to let you know... There has been renewed activity on the MIP CoDa board. The step study and book study are moving as well as daily meditations. Wonderfully solution based work. Would love to see you there! John said he was hoping to turn on the chat board soon - so hopefully we can even build a me...
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seekingtruth
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1
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263
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Unacceptable behavior and consequences
(Preview)
I'm wondering if others would be willing to share their list of unacceptable behaviors and the consequences they have established if their qualifier should exhibit one of these behaviors. This is a new concept for me and while I am doing ok with establishing unacceptable behaviors I'm not doing so w...
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usedtobeanyer
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23
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7729
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Abuse from all ends
(Preview)
I had posted before about the dilemma I have with my family as it affects my separation from my AH. I am getting a legal separation from AH which involves agreeing on financial arrangements. Unfortunately the law is not on my side since I was the primary wage earner for the 5 years of marriage. Should it g...
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nyc018
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6
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492
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On Being Happy....
(Preview)
Aloha Family...just some thoughts on last night's home group the Wednesday Night Turning Point AFG. Our lead put up the subject of "being Happy" and shared from some observations from her literature and he life. She works a good program and the subject was right on. We had an exhubera...
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Jerry F
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5
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420
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Dating a Woman in Recovery
(Preview)
I've been dating a woman who has been in recovery (5 1/2 years A.A) for about 9 months. We live approximately 1 1/2 hours apart from each other. We both have 16 year old kids (she has a daughter and I a son...both 16). Our kids are healthy and they get along like a brother and sister. We have often done thin...
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Devon
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14
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1141
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letting go...
(Preview)
Sometimes I feel like I am always letting go of something. Just somewhat trivial things like long-running TV programs. I just witnessed the last airing of All My Children--it ended very strangely. I guess I expected something else. I have been watching the show since I was a very little girl & rem...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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413
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struggling on where my place is in helping him...
(Preview)
this is my first time posting anything here. where I live they don't have meeting close by and I struggle greatly with what to do and how to help my husband. he has been an Alcoholic for close to ten years now and I knew coming into the relationship that he was but over the last year he has been going out and st...
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NaomiMarie
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10
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840
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Codependency/Learned Behavior
(Preview)
Been doing some more reading about my co-dependency issues and came across this. I have been struggling with the idea of it being a learned behavior. Growing up I watched my Grandmother drop every bit of herself in order to please my Grandfather. She put him on a pedestal and put him first above anyt...
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ELEKTRAWMN
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6
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787
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My Story - first time poster (long).
(Preview)
Hey Everyone, I don't know if my situation is the right one for this board. There are a number of alcoholics in my family. My Grandfather is an alcoholic My uncle died of cirrosis when I was in my mid 20's. One of my siblings is an active alcoholic with co occurring mental health issues and a physica...
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Saffron
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9
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558
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Lights will guide you home
(Preview)
I love music and sometimes a song just strikes me so much. The lyrics are great, the singing is awesome... This is by ColdPlay "Fix You" When you try your best, but you don't succeed When you get what you want, but not what you need When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep Stuck in reverse A...
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youfoundme
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5
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402
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Checking in...
(Preview)
Hi all. Just a quick note to say I'm still alive, and as far as I know ABF is still sober (almost 90 days now). YAY. We're trying to get out and do more things as a family, although he's still not working. Really hard to find a job in our area with no license. Still having a few episodes of dry drunk beh...
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ELEKTRAWMN
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4
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559
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More pics to make ya smile
(Preview)
I love it when you guys post picture. It makes me feel better. Like the jokes ya post, or funny stories We all need a "calgon take me awaaaaay!" (c:
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Debilyn
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4
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338
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Sad today
(Preview)
Newbie here,,,,,,Here I sit at work and it's 1:16 in the afternoon. I got up this morning, got ready for work like I always do and then on the way to work it hit me. What if he's not here this time next year. My AH has cirrhosis,,,,there are so many unsanswered questions and I feel like the time I spend at w...
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Woodenships
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9
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572
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A few photos...
(Preview)
Something I love to do is photography for me, not for anyone else... here's a few.... The blue herron is one of my favorite birds, this one was just standing there one day while I did some engagement photography...loved it! The gate is at a favorite park near the ocean here. The house is something righ...
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youfoundme
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9
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809
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What do you do when you can't stop obsessing over ex??
(Preview)
Hi, I am new here - new to Alanon - just attended my first meeting last night. Starting to work Step 1. My ex left me for someone else and I can't stop wanting to email him and text him and call him. I am calling on my higher power constantly to give me strength to move forward with this program. I believe in God...
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jasobel
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11
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6058
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New here....and sad..(kinda long)
(Preview)
Hello, I am here looking for some support and guidance..and heres my story. My husband got his 4th DUI in March of this year. This past friday we had court and his lawyer said he won't go to jail that he would be on bond til a bed opened. He was given 4yrs but offered 9mos RPF. Which in arkansas is a rehab. A lot...
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jmanning
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11
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716
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Well was true to myself, still hurt some.....
(Preview)
ok here is the story. I was so bored so I started having guinea pigs. I love it. I have two kinds that are hairless. Very rare, and my silly regular Americans someone rescued. I had one paid for and three more going to be next week then picking them up. I had spoke up about a hoarder on the g pig group, P. Peopl...
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Debilyn
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7
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611
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Asking For Help and a upside down expression of Tradition 7 versus concepts 3 & 4
(Preview)
Delegating and giving responsibility to my children has thus far been a good experience over the last three days. They helped me prepare dinner last night. I broadly told them what I needed and to find their own way of doing it. Giving them the power to succeed or make a mistake is part of this experi...
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tommyecat
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2
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768
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Self Care
(Preview)
I never received the message in my family of origin of is it in my best interest or to thine own self be true perhaps because I grew up in an alcoholic home. I was taught to make your outsides look great forget about the insides, everything is just Fine, Thank You. So, coming into the alanon program for me...
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tommyecat
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12
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1750
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Step 10 and Concept 4
(Preview)
On Monday our group has a step/tradition study meeting. Yesterday we were on Step 10, Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. As the discussion made its way across the room, I started to take my own inventory. I had a light bulb moment that in the evenings I b...
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tommyecat
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8
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1238
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???
(Preview)
While reading this, please remember I'm new at this...lol Because I have some very strong feelings that NEED to go away... My A bf has this friend.. His "best friend" for years. I put that in quotes because I really think I hate this person... I know hate is a strong word and I shouldn't hate an...
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kris10
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5
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408
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New Girl Here
(Preview)
Im new here but hopefully I can get some help. Ill start out with a little overview of my life. Right now I am 24 and have a 2 yr. old daughter. I have a future husband that has a 2 yr old daughter. We both have jobs and make good money. Live in a great house and life is all around good...except if you look on th...
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lostchildhood
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13
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457
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Boyfriend Showing Signs of Addiction
(Preview)
Hello All, I am new to this forum and seek some help from people who might be able to understand where I am coming from. Being a 24 year old who does not drink or do drugs with alcholic parents leaves me feeling pretty alone. It's typical for a 24 year old to drink with friends but its never been my norm. ...
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newone87
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15
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678
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