Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

callmemara · callmemara

I would like to hear how you have dealt with your finances and being married to an A? For example, how do you make sure the bills get paid so you don't have them disconnected? Or what about, have you ever been evicted d/t not being able to pay the rent b/c of their reckless spending on his addiction? Did you h...

KLotus · KLotus

I know that Sundays are difficult for my alcoholic husband. They were for me for a very long time as well. Now I have an easier time learning to enjoy what the day brings, and what I am able to create with it. However, it is still tough sometimes, knowing that I have a full work week ahead, and all of that t...

Jonesy0505 · Jonesy0505

Five nights last week out all night, no call, no texts, nothing. Just a whole lot of blaming me when he shows up. This week has been actually pretty quiet... home everynight, in a fairly good mood, interacting with kids, no drinking, no drugs UNTIL... tonight! Tells me he will be home by 7. Well it's 9:30...

jmanning · jmanning

Well its been 2 weeks since my AH has went to county jail, still waiting on a bed for rehab. I can honestly say it has been easier. I am doing for myself, making choices for myself and not looking for approval from no one. I have not be able to go to F2F mtg because of school. But I did start going back to church...

bandit714 · bandit714

Hi, I've been looking around the internet trying to find some ideas to help my wife get sober, when we first met we were both drinking and hanging out in clubs, at that time I didn't feel like there was problem because we didn't drink all the time, but we did drink a lot because it was a new relationship and w...

Jonesy0505 · Jonesy0505

I've toyed with this idea for awhile and have gotten many mixed opinions, although they are from people who aren't in the position most of us here are in. What are your personal opinions or esh's about interventions? Sherri

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

So .. I'm back in town and haven't been online much .. if any of you read my time in Washington, it was pretty much chaos the last 2 days .. but so i came home and my alcoholic says ... ok i want nothing to do with you, i only want to see our daughter .. Well i've pounded meetings and the grief has been unbelievabl...

sookie · sookie

It has been so long since I have posted! So much has happened but in some ways, not much has changed. My AH had moved out the first week of August and then got his 2nd DWI the first week of Sept. I am awaiting his court date still but and of course there is the possibility of jail time. My kids still do not really...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

It has been a while since I have posted but I read the posts daily it helps me go through the days! And if course I go to face 2 face meetings so I got my al anon daily IV dose to pump me up! Anyway we have been officially legally and physically separated for 3 weeks and despite the emotional rollercoaster I fee...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I am not sure I shared this. This is my son. He learned this from a Native American. A person has to have total concentration to do this. He finds a sharp big rock and balances it on stable rocks. This is by what I meant I had to let go and allow him to find his own power. I mean in everything. His father is the mon...

Vancouver · Vancouver

How do you deal with or how can you tell if you live with a person that is a dry drunk?

jitsuka · jitsuka

Hi there. I'm a very grateful member of Al-anon. The A in my life is my partner, she's been drinking for years but admitted to me (total suprise to me) that she is an A. Her mother was an A too. Recently she has been drinking (in "secret" in the bedroom) after work. She drinks every day (vodka), s...

rara avis · rara avis

Update: The movers are coming today to take my RA's stuff to storage. I also have to mail him a key and info and am praying for no drama. [ warning: pity pot moment!] I feel so sad. The house is emptying out. I know that a relationship doesn't define us, that each individual needs to build their own life. An...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

It's amazing to me how much power i give my own thoughts and feelings .. As if i really believe if i think something feel something .. it is in absolutes .. I said to someone the other night .. i feel like i'm 5 and they shot back with you never got to be 5 .. it hit me when my family moved out of the house .. brother...

MsTonya · MsTonya

I'm very excited to see him but truth is I am scared to death. I'm trying to do some research on alanon meetings I really need someone to talk to about my feelings. Any good info or comments would be appreciated.

Pushka · Pushka

I really gotta say if this program so works on so many different levels. It's a program that for me, I get out of it what I put into it. I can work it or not work it, it's 100% my responsibility. This past year I have put a tremendous amount of work into it and I have so much further to go. There have been some r...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

So ok .. 3 x's a charm .. I am so completely restless .. grieving the pain of the end of this relationship and desperately trying in my mind to come up with solutions to how to change, control, fix, n save it .. I just can't believe this person would Really walk away .. Somewhere along the lines i got it set in m...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi guys i am on here because I am trying to take care of me for a bit. My husband is home for the weekend. He is wanting to fix a broken bit on the car.... it has been broken for about 3 months... today he just really wanted to get to it. there is no reason. He was supposed to go and buy a part to help fix it with.....

youfoundme · youfoundme

Can you tell me what it was like when you wanted to be sober but just couldn't get it yet? I am just curious, and maybe curiousity killed the cat, but I just want another perspective. I have read the AA big book, so I know that from a book, but just wanted to hear some other stories... did you pitter out or q...

odalis · odalis

I haven't poted here in a while, and really haven't been going to meetings that much either, but I am taking it one day at a time and coping the best I can with my AH. Well, today I wanted to share that I am no longer keeping secrets. One of my very best friends who I wrote on here that I thought was giving me hint...

NeedingGuidance · NeedingGuidance

For the last little while I thought our problems were mine and had mire to do with me then the alcohol but after some thought I believe that is just as much part of the problem. I love my Boyfriend, that I know. His drinking I have come to hate. (yes on occassion I will have a glass of wine but rarely). A li...

Jerry F · Jerry F

This is conformation for me that God will do for me what I cannot do for myself. All I have to do is nurture the process and that which touches my spirit and calms it will come about. Yes I love this color of Red and then it also comes in Teal and both do the same thing for my spirit. I stand still, feel very g...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I misquoted Author Unknown: You can tell the size of your God by looking at the size of your worry list. The longer your list , the smaller your God.

KeepingFaith · KeepingFaith

This is all new to me & yet of great comfort in knowing that I am really not alone as I have found my way here. My boyfriend was a high functioning alcoholic. He got hooked on sleeping pills (unconfirmed pain killers as well) and became hooked on the meds which of course has spiraled his alcoholism in...

kris10 · kris10

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8Gf4-eT3w0&ob=...

kris10 · kris10

Today I got more money stolen out of my wallet.... Not the first time.. I absolutely HATE this... How disrespectful when he spends all of his money within 4 days on dope and then I have to take care of him the rest of the month (cigarettes, food, gas,ect.) He never pays me back in full because he already owe...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

well...that is three posts in a row for me. I am making up for some lost time I guess. I don't have enough time to really say what is in my mind & heart. Someone said on the internet that we should log off & get a life(something to that respect anyhow) I have been known to misquote a lot. I guess I need t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I just have a little info: some quotes I got today when looking at the internet! You can tell the size of your God by looking at the size of your worry list, the smaller your list, the bigger your God. Author Unknown. I hope I quoted that right? Apologizing: Does not always mean you're wrong & the other...

liar · liar

My sisters and myself know my mom is still drinking in private. She refuses to say she does even though we all know. She thinks she is smarter than every one around her, but its obvious. To add to that, she becomes very irate and takes it out on her family when confronted. What do you recommend my sist...

NovSun · NovSun

Hi, Haven't been on or posted in a while. New job is great! I truly enjoy it and am so busy that I don't have time to worry what the Afiance is doing all afternoon (he works early shift). He swears he wants sobriety. He attends 4 hours of substance abuse classes a week. He makes notes, he has epiphanies...

NovSun · NovSun

Ok, another question... what the heck is detach with love?? Detaching to me means silent treatment for fear of losing my temper. It means ignoring him while he's drunk... which results in more aggressive, hateful words from him. It means taking the dog out for a walk to get away from him and the madn...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am determined to get this right! I have a lot to offer & will always, I mean ALWAYS be the best me I can be! I don't feel so disappointed in myself today. I am not saying that I won't be tomorrow--still a WORK IN PROGRESS! To everyone who is feeling low today: I have been there so many times I can't count o...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Meet Chloe Jazmine! (c: Was feeling sorta, well admitting, missing ex AH. Keep thinking I gotta go see him for ME. Do not want regrets I did not go see him. Sorta made me feel lost for a bit, So I do what I do and keep busy with animals and people. Visited my friends up here and picked up this baby opossom. The p...

Catbird · Catbird

Hi. New to the group and first post. My husband is a newly recovering alcoholic. He is 30 days sober. We have been together as a couple for 5 years and married for 2 1/2 years. I moved out of our house with my 15 year old son (from a previous marriage) approximately one month ago. My husband is verbally and em...

rosielee · rosielee

my mum has been on the phone all night and i cant pick up- we havent been speaking since i forogt her birthday.and i did the opposite of what i usually do- i just didnt care about and then gush all over the place to try and make it up to her- as if her emotions and feelings were paramount before all else. so sin...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Hi Everyone, Our small rural city has what is called a "citywide yard sale" each year. It's this Saturday. I've lived here for over 20 years and have never particpated. But this year we decided to join in the "fun." Truly I'd rather take a beating than have this thing. But he w...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi guys i think I have said that I felt like I have relapsed recently. For some delusional reason, I thought up in my own little head that my husband was going to change his smoking pot habits. He never said he would, and never even implied that he might,,, I just thought of it all by myself.. and then of cou...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Wow I got some money and went to Amazon to get some more books like the daily affirmations etc. $20 for three books is great.. then comes the shipping... $40 to get three books to Australia!!!! Most don't post overseas that I find, especially the cheaper second hand options. oh well.. another $60......

maresie · maresie

Now my life is not as enmeshed with an alcoholic partner, I have to be so careful to stay on my side of the street. One of my former co workers is up and leaving the job he has and moving across country. He has some delusion he can get unemployment when he has left his job. I'm at a place where I just have to le...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hey everyone....good to be back. Haven't had computer access for about a month! I have been on the rollercoaster of emotions, but going to a meeting about 4 times a week seems to help. I cant control anyone buy myself...what a hard lesson to learn. Anyways, I enjoyed reading all the posts that I missed a...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have been spiraling and obsessing for a few days and am back and forth and all over the place. My divorce was final July 19th. For whatever reason my ex AH thought he needed to call me Sunday night and let me know he slept with a woman whom he met at a local bar and told me way too much detail about it all. He had...

Fiddleman · Fiddleman

My 27 year-old addicted son we saw going downhill, and we did not let him live at home again. Through working the 12 steps for the past 3 years, I had advanced to the point that his chaotic actions did not affect me as much as in the past. Back then, I would worry alot more, and sometimes try to find him if he...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My meeting last night was on "choices". I immediately identified with the topic as the idea of making choices, specifically in regards to arguments and fights with my wife, was one of the first concepts that I really grasped when I got involved in Al Anon about a year ago. It was so refreshin...

maresie · maresie

In the last few weeks I have had a major stressor in my cat being ill which required a lot of time going to the vet to get her set up on some medications. Then my phone broke, then I couldn't make it to the vet to get one of my dogs vaccinated. I generally view any of these obstacles as a calamity rather than a &q...

Linda77 · Linda77

I've been reading the post...and cannot stop crying...Saturday, my 33 year old son totaled his unpaid uninsured vehicle. Miraculostly he was not hurt. It was a blow out...this time he was not drinking. The police stopped to help...ran his driver's license and found a warrant for a fine he never paid...

Jerry F · Jerry F

faith, hope and surrender gets me peace of mind and serenity...and Jade!! Aloha all and you know that one of the ways my HP expresses love and care for me is in flowers and plants...growing things that when they are ready give me gifts of beauty. Yes I get the same from lots of others things also and flo...

tommyecat · tommyecat

That is what my sponsor said to me this weekend. I thought to myself how could I really be grateful for the pain and confusion? I know from experience working with my sponsor I don't need to feel it to do it. Just take the action and do it. So I began writing yesterday to find out how. I wrote a gratitu...

kael1539 · kael1539

Hi all, my AH is very new to recovery, has tried now for several years to stop drinking but is struggling. He is going to AA and has completed one outpatient 90 day program and then one 30 day inpatient. Now I do believe he is drinking again - he hides it very well and has gone on binges w/out me knowing becau...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, Most importantly: I owe more comments and attention to other posts, but my time is limited ,especially now! I have been able to read some posts, you guys are in my thoughts! Update/stressful rant: My RA has had almost 3 weeks to move, and has NOT moved out. He hasn't done anything at all...

Livinginfear · Livinginfear

My father really liked to drink and when he did things got really ugly. My first nightmare was when I was 7 years old. One day, I came home from school and my father was the only one there and drunk. We lived in a condo on the 6th floor. He took me out on the balcony and asked me to count to 100, and so I started. We...

Hot Chicka · Hot Chicka

Answer: It's none of my business, and it shouldn't matter to me why he is doing this. Question: AH had been dry/sober for quite some time, and recently decided that he could handle "a few drinks every now and again." While it certainly isn't what it was, the handful of times he has been out...

Pushka · Pushka

Last nights meeting was awesome!! Loved it!!! We are working out of the book Pathways to Recovery and it's just an amazing read and share time with some amazing people. The friend issue is basically coming to a head exactly the way I saw it coming. My AH wanted to look like the good guy only to have his...

alexmaui · alexmaui

My AH and I are separated for almost a year. I am now planning a divorce. Here's my question. My husband is on my medical insurance and he uses it to go around to doctor shop and get his zanax and ambien. I keep getting these co payment bills because although he is the patient the insurance is in my name? He is...

Tracy · Tracy

In the moring I have to find the money (200) to pay for a neighbours car to be fixed I bumped it when my ex mother in law died ;last weekend. I was going to use the money my abf has gone missing with that he owes me. I am in some financual trouble at mo and moving home just before christmas. My ABF knew all this ...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi Well, you know how I was feeling like I waiting for that bus... well it arrived.. guess what.. its the same bus. For some reason I thought he had thought about things and there was a change in the air. Nope.... he smoked this morning right after I left for work. I asked him why and he said he felt like it...

Pushka · Pushka

Holy cow, I have to strike while the iron is hot when it comes to my domestic goddess challenges. I had the house looking soooo lovely about a week ago and I'm soooo glad I took those before and after pictures because I keep going back to them. It has made such a big difference to be able to see the before an...

glad · glad

Regarding furneral for Ex "father in law" type person. My ex A Boyfriend said there is not really going to be a "service" just a "gathering" of friends etc. at the funeral home. He said he wasn't really comfortable "receiving" alot of attention and that m...

Jonesy0505 · Jonesy0505

Hi everyone, I haven't forgotten about you all here. The week has been very long and stressful. I have checked in to read posts to keep me on track just haven't had the mental energy at the end of the day to write. There have been alot of ups and downs this week with my AH. Last week I posted about testing my bo...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Hi All, This morning we got up early to tackle a hedge, trim it back, before the sun was blazing down on us. As we worked, I noticed how light I felt and that my mind was not plagued with worry as it always was in the past. I thought about why I feel so differently these days. The answer came in a form of a song....

glad · glad

The idea of attending alanon face to face meetings even if you don't think it is for you or even if it seems like it's not "helping" is such a wonderful thing. I first attended alanon in Dec 2008 I think. I didn't really see changes in my situation until recently BUT it seems like my brain is draw...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Finances (Preview) I would like to hear how you have dealt with your finances and being married to an A? For example, how do you make sure the bills get paid so you don't have them disconnected? Or what about, have you ever been evicted d/t not being able to pay the rent b/c of their reckless spending on his addiction? Did you h...	callmemara	5	539	Oct 2, 2011 by likemyheart
	Sunday (Preview) I know that Sundays are difficult for my alcoholic husband. They were for me for a very long time as well. Now I have an easier time learning to enjoy what the day brings, and what I am able to create with it. However, it is still tough sometimes, knowing that I have a full work week ahead, and all of that t...	KLotus	2	528	Oct 2, 2011 by flopadopilus
	well seems to me... I'm spending yet another night alone... (Preview) Five nights last week out all night, no call, no texts, nothing. Just a whole lot of blaming me when he shows up. This week has been actually pretty quiet... home everynight, in a fairly good mood, interacting with kids, no drinking, no drugs UNTIL... tonight! Tells me he will be home by 7. Well it's 9:30...	Jonesy0505	7	697	Oct 2, 2011 by Jonesy0505
	2 weeks now (Preview) Well its been 2 weeks since my AH has went to county jail, still waiting on a bed for rehab. I can honestly say it has been easier. I am doing for myself, making choices for myself and not looking for approval from no one. I have not be able to go to F2F mtg because of school. But I did start going back to church...	jmanning	5	437	Oct 2, 2011 by pineapple
	What is expected of me??? (Preview) Hi, I've been looking around the internet trying to find some ideas to help my wife get sober, when we first met we were both drinking and hanging out in clubs, at that time I didn't feel like there was problem because we didn't drink all the time, but we did drink a lot because it was a new relationship and w...	bandit714	4	664	Oct 2, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Interventions: Do they work or not? (Preview) I've toyed with this idea for awhile and have gotten many mixed opinions, although they are from people who aren't in the position most of us here are in. What are your personal opinions or esh's about interventions? Sherri	Jonesy0505	9	1188	Oct 2, 2011 by Jonesy0505
	Grieving the losses of 10 years .. (Preview) So .. I'm back in town and haven't been online much .. if any of you read my time in Washington, it was pretty much chaos the last 2 days .. but so i came home and my alcoholic says ... ok i want nothing to do with you, i only want to see our daughter .. Well i've pounded meetings and the grief has been unbelievabl...	MeTwo2	7	615	Oct 2, 2011 by flopadopilus
	AH's 2nd DWI but I'm feeling OK (Preview) It has been so long since I have posted! So much has happened but in some ways, not much has changed. My AH had moved out the first week of August and then got his 2nd DWI the first week of Sept. I am awaiting his court date still but and of course there is the possibility of jail time. My kids still do not really...	sookie	4	433	Oct 2, 2011 by youfoundme
	Update (Preview) It has been a while since I have posted but I read the posts daily it helps me go through the days! And if course I go to face 2 face meetings so I got my al anon daily IV dose to pump me up! Anyway we have been officially legally and physically separated for 3 weeks and despite the emotional rollercoaster I fee...	Crazy Frog	4	365	Oct 2, 2011 by KLotus
	Meditation, your own power (Preview) I am not sure I shared this. This is my son. He learned this from a Native American. A person has to have total concentration to do this. He finds a sharp big rock and balances it on stable rocks. This is by what I meant I had to let go and allow him to find his own power. I mean in everything. His father is the mon...	Debilyn	4	519	Oct 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	Dry Drunk (Preview) How do you deal with or how can you tell if you live with a person that is a dry drunk?	Vancouver	4	570	Oct 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	Partner started drinking my booze... (Preview) Hi there. I'm a very grateful member of Al-anon. The A in my life is my partner, she's been drinking for years but admitted to me (total suprise to me) that she is an A. Her mother was an A too. Recently she has been drinking (in "secret" in the bedroom) after work. She drinks every day (vodka), s...	jitsuka	9	456	Oct 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	moving day today, so sad (Preview) Update: The movers are coming today to take my RA's stuff to storage. I also have to mail him a key and info and am praying for no drama. [ warning: pity pot moment!] I feel so sad. The house is emptying out. I know that a relationship doesn't define us, that each individual needs to build their own life. An...	rara avis	9	645	Oct 2, 2011 by Pushka
	How much power i give my own thoughts and feelings .. (Preview) It's amazing to me how much power i give my own thoughts and feelings .. As if i really believe if i think something feel something .. it is in absolutes .. I said to someone the other night .. i feel like i'm 5 and they shot back with you never got to be 5 .. it hit me when my family moved out of the house .. brother...	MeTwo2	7	792	Oct 2, 2011 by pinkchip
	My husband will be home from rehab in a week (Preview) I'm very excited to see him but truth is I am scared to death. I'm trying to do some research on alanon meetings I really need someone to talk to about my feelings. Any good info or comments would be appreciated.	MsTonya	10	633	Oct 2, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Changes (Preview) I really gotta say if this program so works on so many different levels. It's a program that for me, I get out of it what I put into it. I can work it or not work it, it's 100% my responsibility. This past year I have put a tremendous amount of work into it and I have so much further to go. There have been some r...	Pushka	6	507	Oct 2, 2011 by hawaiilover
	So 3rd post tonight .. Very restless .. Fantasies (Preview) So ok .. 3 x's a charm .. I am so completely restless .. grieving the pain of the end of this relationship and desperately trying in my mind to come up with solutions to how to change, control, fix, n save it .. I just can't believe this person would Really walk away .. Somewhere along the lines i got it set in m...	MeTwo2	2	387	Oct 2, 2011 by hawaiilover
	he is stoned (Preview) Hi guys i am on here because I am trying to take care of me for a bit. My husband is home for the weekend. He is wanting to fix a broken bit on the car.... it has been broken for about 3 months... today he just really wanted to get to it. there is no reason. He was supposed to go and buy a part to help fix it with.....	Lindaoakford	3	594	Oct 2, 2011 by youfoundme
	those from both programs...? (Preview) Can you tell me what it was like when you wanted to be sober but just couldn't get it yet? I am just curious, and maybe curiousity killed the cat, but I just want another perspective. I have read the AA big book, so I know that from a book, but just wanted to hear some other stories... did you pitter out or q...	youfoundme	7	407	Oct 2, 2011 by youfoundme
	no secrets anymore!! feels so good!! (Preview) I haven't poted here in a while, and really haven't been going to meetings that much either, but I am taking it one day at a time and coping the best I can with my AH. Well, today I wanted to share that I am no longer keeping secrets. One of my very best friends who I wrote on here that I thought was giving me hint...	odalis	2	402	Oct 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	Lookin for help/guidance (Preview) For the last little while I thought our problems were mine and had mire to do with me then the alcohol but after some thought I believe that is just as much part of the problem. I love my Boyfriend, that I know. His drinking I have come to hate. (yes on occassion I will have a glass of wine but rarely). A li...	NeedingGuidance	2	619	Oct 2, 2011 by hawaiilover
	JADE...Just A Devine Evidence (Preview) This is conformation for me that God will do for me what I cannot do for myself. All I have to do is nurture the process and that which touches my spirit and calms it will come about. Yes I love this color of Red and then it also comes in Teal and both do the same thing for my spirit. I stand still, feel very g...	Jerry F	3	557	Oct 2, 2011 by hawaiilover
	just a misquote (Preview) I misquoted Author Unknown: You can tell the size of your God by looking at the size of your worry list. The longer your list , the smaller your God.	Hoot Nanny	1	395	Oct 1, 2011 by Jerry F
	Did I do the right thing? (Preview) This is all new to me & yet of great comfort in knowing that I am really not alone as I have found my way here. My boyfriend was a high functioning alcoholic. He got hooked on sleeping pills (unconfirmed pain killers as well) and became hooked on the meds which of course has spiraled his alcoholism in...	KeepingFaith	7	750	Oct 1, 2011 by Jerry F
	How to love.... (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8Gf4-eT3w0&ob=...	kris10	0	309	Oct 1, 2011 by kris10
	my A is a theaf..... (Preview) Today I got more money stolen out of my wallet.... Not the first time.. I absolutely HATE this... How disrespectful when he spends all of his money within 4 days on dope and then I have to take care of him the rest of the month (cigarettes, food, gas,ect.) He never pays me back in full because he already owe...	kris10	11	700	Oct 1, 2011 by kris10
	Am I getting OLD? (Preview) well...that is three posts in a row for me. I am making up for some lost time I guess. I don't have enough time to really say what is in my mind & heart. Someone said on the internet that we should log off & get a life(something to that respect anyhow) I have been known to misquote a lot. I guess I need t...	Hoot Nanny	1	319	Oct 1, 2011 by tommyecat
	a little info. (Preview) I just have a little info: some quotes I got today when looking at the internet! You can tell the size of your God by looking at the size of your worry list, the smaller your list, the bigger your God. Author Unknown. I hope I quoted that right? Apologizing: Does not always mean you're wrong & the other...	Hoot Nanny	1	330	Oct 1, 2011 by tommyecat
	mother drinks secretly (Preview) My sisters and myself know my mom is still drinking in private. She refuses to say she does even though we all know. She thinks she is smarter than every one around her, but its obvious. To add to that, she becomes very irate and takes it out on her family when confronted. What do you recommend my sist...	liar	11	963	Oct 1, 2011 by mikeco
	Reaching Out (Preview) Hi, Haven't been on or posted in a while. New job is great! I truly enjoy it and am so busy that I don't have time to worry what the Afiance is doing all afternoon (he works early shift). He swears he wants sobriety. He attends 4 hours of substance abuse classes a week. He makes notes, he has epiphanies...	NovSun	9	623	Sep 30, 2011 by rrib
	Detach with Love? (Preview) Ok, another question... what the heck is detach with love?? Detaching to me means silent treatment for fear of losing my temper. It means ignoring him while he's drunk... which results in more aggressive, hateful words from him. It means taking the dog out for a walk to get away from him and the madn...	NovSun	15	6747	Sep 30, 2011 by Lindsaysp
	I am determined! (Preview) I am determined to get this right! I have a lot to offer & will always, I mean ALWAYS be the best me I can be! I don't feel so disappointed in myself today. I am not saying that I won't be tomorrow--still a WORK IN PROGRESS! To everyone who is feeling low today: I have been there so many times I can't count o...	Hoot Nanny	2	471	Sep 30, 2011 by youfoundme
	One of my "antistressors" (Preview) Meet Chloe Jazmine! (c: Was feeling sorta, well admitting, missing ex AH. Keep thinking I gotta go see him for ME. Do not want regrets I did not go see him. Sorta made me feel lost for a bit, So I do what I do and keep busy with animals and people. Visited my friends up here and picked up this baby opossom. The p...	Debilyn	1	653	Sep 30, 2011 by youfoundme
	Living with a recovering alcoholic. (Preview) Hi. New to the group and first post. My husband is a newly recovering alcoholic. He is 30 days sober. We have been together as a couple for 5 years and married for 2 1/2 years. I moved out of our house with my 15 year old son (from a previous marriage) approximately one month ago. My husband is verbally and em...	Catbird	19	5594	Sep 30, 2011 by pinkchip
	im just being a big baby (Preview) my mum has been on the phone all night and i cant pick up- we havent been speaking since i forogt her birthday.and i did the opposite of what i usually do- i just didnt care about and then gush all over the place to try and make it up to her- as if her emotions and feelings were paramount before all else. so sin...	rosielee	14	852	Sep 30, 2011 by rosielee
	Garage Sale Blues - Opportunity to Change Thy Perspective (Preview) Hi Everyone, Our small rural city has what is called a "citywide yard sale" each year. It's this Saturday. I've lived here for over 20 years and have never particpated. But this year we decided to join in the "fun." Truly I'd rather take a beating than have this thing. But he w...	GailMichelle	6	370	Sep 29, 2011 by NovSun
	going rund and round in step one (Preview) Hi guys i think I have said that I felt like I have relapsed recently. For some delusional reason, I thought up in my own little head that my husband was going to change his smoking pot habits. He never said he would, and never even implied that he might,,, I just thought of it all by myself.. and then of cou...	Lindaoakford	9	489	Sep 29, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	books (Preview) Wow I got some money and went to Amazon to get some more books like the daily affirmations etc. $20 for three books is great.. then comes the shipping... $40 to get three books to Australia!!!! Most don't post overseas that I find, especially the cheaper second hand options. oh well.. another $60......	Lindaoakford	8	588	Sep 29, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Treading the right path (Preview) Now my life is not as enmeshed with an alcoholic partner, I have to be so careful to stay on my side of the street. One of my former co workers is up and leaving the job he has and moving across country. He has some delusion he can get unemployment when he has left his job. I'm at a place where I just have to le...	maresie	2	407	Sep 29, 2011 by Mattie
	Missed this! (Preview) Hey everyone....good to be back. Haven't had computer access for about a month! I have been on the rollercoaster of emotions, but going to a meeting about 4 times a week seems to help. I cant control anyone buy myself...what a hard lesson to learn. Anyways, I enjoyed reading all the posts that I missed a...	Corgi2	6	386	Sep 29, 2011 by tommyecat
	Spiraling over my A (Preview) I have been spiraling and obsessing for a few days and am back and forth and all over the place. My divorce was final July 19th. For whatever reason my ex AH thought he needed to call me Sunday night and let me know he slept with a woman whom he met at a local bar and told me way too much detail about it all. He had...	Breakingfree	10	737	Sep 29, 2011 by tommyecat
	Did Serenity Prayer cost me my son? (Preview) My 27 year-old addicted son we saw going downhill, and we did not let him live at home again. Through working the 12 steps for the past 3 years, I had advanced to the point that his chaotic actions did not affect me as much as in the past. Back then, I would worry alot more, and sometimes try to find him if he...	Fiddleman	22	1383	Sep 29, 2011 by hotrod
	Choices (Preview) My meeting last night was on "choices". I immediately identified with the topic as the idea of making choices, specifically in regards to arguments and fights with my wife, was one of the first concepts that I really grasped when I got involved in Al Anon about a year ago. It was so refreshin...	usedtobeanyer	8	1876	Sep 29, 2011 by maresie
	making a cushion for myself (Preview) In the last few weeks I have had a major stressor in my cat being ill which required a lot of time going to the vet to get her set up on some medications. Then my phone broke, then I couldn't make it to the vet to get one of my dogs vaccinated. I generally view any of these obstacles as a calamity rather than a &q...	maresie	2	376	Sep 29, 2011 by luv123
	Please help me (Preview) I've been reading the post...and cannot stop crying...Saturday, my 33 year old son totaled his unpaid uninsured vehicle. Miraculostly he was not hurt. It was a blow out...this time he was not drinking. The police stopped to help...ran his driver's license and found a warrant for a fine he never paid...	Linda77	26	677	Sep 29, 2011 by Hot Chicka
	The quality of patience... (Preview) faith, hope and surrender gets me peace of mind and serenity...and Jade!! Aloha all and you know that one of the ways my HP expresses love and care for me is in flowers and plants...growing things that when they are ready give me gifts of beauty. Yes I get the same from lots of others things also and flo...	Jerry F	5	1021	Sep 29, 2011 by tommyecat
	Be Grateful for the Pain (Preview) That is what my sponsor said to me this weekend. I thought to myself how could I really be grateful for the pain and confusion? I know from experience working with my sponsor I don't need to feel it to do it. Just take the action and do it. So I began writing yesterday to find out how. I wrote a gratitu...	tommyecat	13	760	Sep 29, 2011 by tommyecat
	boundaries with a struggling recovering AH (Preview) Hi all, my AH is very new to recovery, has tried now for several years to stop drinking but is struggling. He is going to AA and has completed one outpatient 90 day program and then one 30 day inpatient. Now I do believe he is drinking again - he hides it very well and has gone on binges w/out me knowing becau...	kael1539	10	596	Sep 28, 2011 by MsTonya
	Total nightmare!!! (Preview) Hey everybody, Most importantly: I owe more comments and attention to other posts, but my time is limited ,especially now! I have been able to read some posts, you guys are in my thoughts! Update/stressful rant: My RA has had almost 3 weeks to move, and has NOT moved out. He hasn't done anything at all...	rara avis	27	903	Sep 28, 2011 by pinkchip
	Abusive father (Preview) My father really liked to drink and when he did things got really ugly. My first nightmare was when I was 7 years old. One day, I came home from school and my father was the only one there and drunk. We lived in a condo on the 6th floor. He took me out on the balcony and asked me to count to 100, and so I started. We...	Livinginfear	15	670	Sep 28, 2011 by maresie
	I am confused! (Preview) Answer: It's none of my business, and it shouldn't matter to me why he is doing this. Question: AH had been dry/sober for quite some time, and recently decided that he could handle "a few drinks every now and again." While it certainly isn't what it was, the handful of times he has been out...	Hot Chicka	11	649	Sep 28, 2011 by rosielee
	Quick update (Preview) Last nights meeting was awesome!! Loved it!!! We are working out of the book Pathways to Recovery and it's just an amazing read and share time with some amazing people. The friend issue is basically coming to a head exactly the way I saw it coming. My AH wanted to look like the good guy only to have his...	Pushka	4	524	Sep 27, 2011 by Breakingfree
	He wont pay the bills (Preview) My AH and I are separated for almost a year. I am now planning a divorce. Here's my question. My husband is on my medical insurance and he uses it to go around to doctor shop and get his zanax and ambien. I keep getting these co payment bills because although he is the patient the insurance is in my name? He is...	alexmaui	10	782	Sep 27, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Trust Hp (Preview) In the moring I have to find the money (200) to pay for a neighbours car to be fixed I bumped it when my ex mother in law died ;last weekend. I was going to use the money my abf has gone missing with that he owes me. I am in some financual trouble at mo and moving home just before christmas. My ABF knew all this ...	Tracy	4	534	Sep 27, 2011 by GailMichelle
	bus didn't take long (Preview) Hi Well, you know how I was feeling like I waiting for that bus... well it arrived.. guess what.. its the same bus. For some reason I thought he had thought about things and there was a change in the air. Nope.... he smoked this morning right after I left for work. I asked him why and he said he felt like it...	Lindaoakford	19	560	Sep 27, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Do It Now!! (Preview) Holy cow, I have to strike while the iron is hot when it comes to my domestic goddess challenges. I had the house looking soooo lovely about a week ago and I'm soooo glad I took those before and after pictures because I keep going back to them. It has made such a big difference to be able to see the before an...	Pushka	6	539	Sep 27, 2011 by Pushka
	birthdays, holidays, weddings, births and deaths (Preview) Regarding furneral for Ex "father in law" type person. My ex A Boyfriend said there is not really going to be a "service" just a "gathering" of friends etc. at the funeral home. He said he wasn't really comfortable "receiving" alot of attention and that m...	glad	3	538	Sep 26, 2011 by maresie
	Still here...just been a very emotionally draining week (Preview) Hi everyone, I haven't forgotten about you all here. The week has been very long and stressful. I have checked in to read posts to keep me on track just haven't had the mental energy at the end of the day to write. There have been alot of ups and downs this week with my AH. Last week I posted about testing my bo...	Jonesy0505	10	494	Sep 26, 2011 by Jonesy0505
	No Problems, Only Solutions - What the Heck? (Preview) Hi All, This morning we got up early to tackle a hedge, trim it back, before the sun was blazing down on us. As we worked, I noticed how light I felt and that my mind was not plagued with worry as it always was in the past. I thought about why I feel so differently these days. The answer came in a form of a song....	GailMichelle	11	726	Sep 26, 2011 by canadianguy
	Short and oh so sweet! (Preview) The idea of attending alanon face to face meetings even if you don't think it is for you or even if it seems like it's not "helping" is such a wonderful thing. I first attended alanon in Dec 2008 I think. I didn't really see changes in my situation until recently BUT it seems like my brain is draw...	glad	6	514	Sep 26, 2011 by youfoundme
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.