Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

NovSun · NovSun

Hi, Haven't been on or posted in a while. New job is great! I truly enjoy it and am so busy that I don't have time to worry what the Afiance is doing all afternoon (he works early shift). He swears he wants sobriety. He attends 4 hours of substance abuse classes a week. He makes notes, he has epiphanies...

NovSun · NovSun

Ok, another question... what the heck is detach with love?? Detaching to me means silent treatment for fear of losing my temper. It means ignoring him while he's drunk... which results in more aggressive, hateful words from him. It means taking the dog out for a walk to get away from him and the madn...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am determined to get this right! I have a lot to offer & will always, I mean ALWAYS be the best me I can be! I don't feel so disappointed in myself today. I am not saying that I won't be tomorrow--still a WORK IN PROGRESS! To everyone who is feeling low today: I have been there so many times I can't count o...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Meet Chloe Jazmine! (c: Was feeling sorta, well admitting, missing ex AH. Keep thinking I gotta go see him for ME. Do not want regrets I did not go see him. Sorta made me feel lost for a bit, So I do what I do and keep busy with animals and people. Visited my friends up here and picked up this baby opossom. The p...

Catbird · Catbird

Hi. New to the group and first post. My husband is a newly recovering alcoholic. He is 30 days sober. We have been together as a couple for 5 years and married for 2 1/2 years. I moved out of our house with my 15 year old son (from a previous marriage) approximately one month ago. My husband is verbally and em...

rosielee · rosielee

my mum has been on the phone all night and i cant pick up- we havent been speaking since i forogt her birthday.and i did the opposite of what i usually do- i just didnt care about and then gush all over the place to try and make it up to her- as if her emotions and feelings were paramount before all else. so sin...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Hi Everyone, Our small rural city has what is called a "citywide yard sale" each year. It's this Saturday. I've lived here for over 20 years and have never particpated. But this year we decided to join in the "fun." Truly I'd rather take a beating than have this thing. But he w...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi guys i think I have said that I felt like I have relapsed recently. For some delusional reason, I thought up in my own little head that my husband was going to change his smoking pot habits. He never said he would, and never even implied that he might,,, I just thought of it all by myself.. and then of cou...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Wow I got some money and went to Amazon to get some more books like the daily affirmations etc. $20 for three books is great.. then comes the shipping... $40 to get three books to Australia!!!! Most don't post overseas that I find, especially the cheaper second hand options. oh well.. another $60......

maresie · maresie

Now my life is not as enmeshed with an alcoholic partner, I have to be so careful to stay on my side of the street. One of my former co workers is up and leaving the job he has and moving across country. He has some delusion he can get unemployment when he has left his job. I'm at a place where I just have to le...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hey everyone....good to be back. Haven't had computer access for about a month! I have been on the rollercoaster of emotions, but going to a meeting about 4 times a week seems to help. I cant control anyone buy myself...what a hard lesson to learn. Anyways, I enjoyed reading all the posts that I missed a...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have been spiraling and obsessing for a few days and am back and forth and all over the place. My divorce was final July 19th. For whatever reason my ex AH thought he needed to call me Sunday night and let me know he slept with a woman whom he met at a local bar and told me way too much detail about it all. He had...

Fiddleman · Fiddleman

My 27 year-old addicted son we saw going downhill, and we did not let him live at home again. Through working the 12 steps for the past 3 years, I had advanced to the point that his chaotic actions did not affect me as much as in the past. Back then, I would worry alot more, and sometimes try to find him if he...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My meeting last night was on "choices". I immediately identified with the topic as the idea of making choices, specifically in regards to arguments and fights with my wife, was one of the first concepts that I really grasped when I got involved in Al Anon about a year ago. It was so refreshin...

maresie · maresie

In the last few weeks I have had a major stressor in my cat being ill which required a lot of time going to the vet to get her set up on some medications. Then my phone broke, then I couldn't make it to the vet to get one of my dogs vaccinated. I generally view any of these obstacles as a calamity rather than a &q...

Linda77 · Linda77

I've been reading the post...and cannot stop crying...Saturday, my 33 year old son totaled his unpaid uninsured vehicle. Miraculostly he was not hurt. It was a blow out...this time he was not drinking. The police stopped to help...ran his driver's license and found a warrant for a fine he never paid...

Jerry F · Jerry F

faith, hope and surrender gets me peace of mind and serenity...and Jade!! Aloha all and you know that one of the ways my HP expresses love and care for me is in flowers and plants...growing things that when they are ready give me gifts of beauty. Yes I get the same from lots of others things also and flo...

tommyecat · tommyecat

That is what my sponsor said to me this weekend. I thought to myself how could I really be grateful for the pain and confusion? I know from experience working with my sponsor I don't need to feel it to do it. Just take the action and do it. So I began writing yesterday to find out how. I wrote a gratitu...

kael1539 · kael1539

Hi all, my AH is very new to recovery, has tried now for several years to stop drinking but is struggling. He is going to AA and has completed one outpatient 90 day program and then one 30 day inpatient. Now I do believe he is drinking again - he hides it very well and has gone on binges w/out me knowing becau...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, Most importantly: I owe more comments and attention to other posts, but my time is limited ,especially now! I have been able to read some posts, you guys are in my thoughts! Update/stressful rant: My RA has had almost 3 weeks to move, and has NOT moved out. He hasn't done anything at all...

Livinginfear · Livinginfear

My father really liked to drink and when he did things got really ugly. My first nightmare was when I was 7 years old. One day, I came home from school and my father was the only one there and drunk. We lived in a condo on the 6th floor. He took me out on the balcony and asked me to count to 100, and so I started. We...

Hot Chicka · Hot Chicka

Answer: It's none of my business, and it shouldn't matter to me why he is doing this. Question: AH had been dry/sober for quite some time, and recently decided that he could handle "a few drinks every now and again." While it certainly isn't what it was, the handful of times he has been out...

Pushka · Pushka

Last nights meeting was awesome!! Loved it!!! We are working out of the book Pathways to Recovery and it's just an amazing read and share time with some amazing people. The friend issue is basically coming to a head exactly the way I saw it coming. My AH wanted to look like the good guy only to have his...

alexmaui · alexmaui

My AH and I are separated for almost a year. I am now planning a divorce. Here's my question. My husband is on my medical insurance and he uses it to go around to doctor shop and get his zanax and ambien. I keep getting these co payment bills because although he is the patient the insurance is in my name? He is...

Tracy · Tracy

In the moring I have to find the money (200) to pay for a neighbours car to be fixed I bumped it when my ex mother in law died ;last weekend. I was going to use the money my abf has gone missing with that he owes me. I am in some financual trouble at mo and moving home just before christmas. My ABF knew all this ...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi Well, you know how I was feeling like I waiting for that bus... well it arrived.. guess what.. its the same bus. For some reason I thought he had thought about things and there was a change in the air. Nope.... he smoked this morning right after I left for work. I asked him why and he said he felt like it...

Pushka · Pushka

Holy cow, I have to strike while the iron is hot when it comes to my domestic goddess challenges. I had the house looking soooo lovely about a week ago and I'm soooo glad I took those before and after pictures because I keep going back to them. It has made such a big difference to be able to see the before an...

glad · glad

Regarding furneral for Ex "father in law" type person. My ex A Boyfriend said there is not really going to be a "service" just a "gathering" of friends etc. at the funeral home. He said he wasn't really comfortable "receiving" alot of attention and that m...

Jonesy0505 · Jonesy0505

Hi everyone, I haven't forgotten about you all here. The week has been very long and stressful. I have checked in to read posts to keep me on track just haven't had the mental energy at the end of the day to write. There have been alot of ups and downs this week with my AH. Last week I posted about testing my bo...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Hi All, This morning we got up early to tackle a hedge, trim it back, before the sun was blazing down on us. As we worked, I noticed how light I felt and that my mind was not plagued with worry as it always was in the past. I thought about why I feel so differently these days. The answer came in a form of a song....

glad · glad

The idea of attending alanon face to face meetings even if you don't think it is for you or even if it seems like it's not "helping" is such a wonderful thing. I first attended alanon in Dec 2008 I think. I didn't really see changes in my situation until recently BUT it seems like my brain is draw...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Like many of you, I grew up in an alcoholic household, with both parents being heavy daily drinkers. Amazing how I find myself reliving some of those bad memories now with my wife. I have a picture from when I graduated college, about 20 years ago. I'm standing next to my now deceased mom, who was in a whee...

jmanning · jmanning

Well its been a week since my AH went to jail. And last weekend when I posted I never thought I would make it, or thought it would get easier. But it has, when he got his furlough tuesday that helped me emotionally a lot. And during this week I did a lot of thinking and reflecting back. And I realize how I did no...

luv123 · luv123

Practicing the principles in all my affairs: I am really trying to stay in the day and let go of the unknowns until I need to know about them. There is a likely chance that we could have to move for a couple yrs. while hubby has a contract to work in DC. I am nervous about living in or so near to a large city. I am n...

glad · glad

Again I am so very thankful for my higher power mostly and for this board and for alanon. Earlier this week I spoke with my ex A boyfriend by phone about his sick father and basicly a "how are you call" in the past I couldn't even look at or speak to my ex without crying and then staying in bed all a...

pinkchip · pinkchip

It has been 3 years since we split up. Ironically 1 week away from 3 years sober for me cuz my first day sober was the day we split. So anyhow, I talked to my ex for like an hour and a half. He is the type of alcoholic that typically finds another alcoholic or addict that drinks or drugs worse than him and the...

Irene · Irene

Did I ever think that this was possible?? NO! I found it hard to really love my mother because of alcoholism, my ex was an alcoholic...and now I've let myself get involved with a man who has known me for years, who is an alcoholic, who is married and who hit me for the first time a week ago. I've never been h...

Pushka · Pushka

Which translates to I def need to get to a meeting, thank goodness there is one tonight. There's a lot going on at the moment and I have concerns over how my mother is choosing to grieve. I'm all about everyone needs to grieve in their own way, (I worked at a funeral home) there are issues though and right...

HDgem · HDgem

Hello, -I went to my first Al-anon meeting last Monday night. IT was a very overwhelming experience - - made me wonder if I had what it took to hear the stories of those who shared... I shared my story, too, and it was good to be able to talk about things. briefly, I am two-years into a second marriage, af...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi guys As you may remember, I just got back from holidays with my husband. For the holidays I had a 'straight' husband. All the issues that I thought would happen, didn't happen. Basically he didn't get the opportunity to smoke because none of my friends do, and my sisters birthday proved that she ha...

littlesister · littlesister

Hi, My big brother is the alcoholic. He is 32 and I am 22. He stopped drinking 3 years ago and since then we have become ever so close. He is the best big brother in the world. However, today he has slipped. He has been dating a lovely lady recently and his emotions have taken over him, so much that he has st...

atheos · atheos

I was telling her about something my dad had said to me, and she bluntly said "that's abuse". She said the same thing about a couple other childhood moments I shared with her. ...I'd heard of verbal/emotional abuse before, and had come to the conclusion that A) it's mostly something made up...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Hi. I have just come in from an evening out at a local restaurant with Son, Daughter & Partner to celebrate what would have been my husband, Stephen's 64th birthday (it is now 22.35 in the UK). What a waste! We should have been enjoying retirement by now and doing all sorts of things. But it was not to b...

Jozie · Jozie

Hey MIP... Missed you All... Sorry been Away for awhile but Life seems to just Keep on Keepin On even if My feet Never seem to Hit the Floor... Same stuff Differant way, but I am Getting by the Best I can and with a Pretty Awesome HP helping me get over the Hurdles... You know the More I looked at "ME&quo...

jamfu · jamfu

Why do i want do be in love? I find myself looking for it everywhere. I still very much love my ex A, but found out from some friends that she cheated. She admitted to them while drunk. I found out over labor day. Damn i wish things had been different. I keep going to meetings and things do not seem to get any be...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I was just thinking about the expression: NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! Isn't that kind of funny. I never thought of that before. My sponsor has a lot of wisdom & experience--she has been in the Program for almost 13 years. I know what she says comes from her heart. I have nothing but respect & adm...

rosielee · rosielee

so- this is my mum- a dry drunk and completely self obsessed. so she phones me up tonight and says....(in her "Im having a funny with you " voice") and says it was her birthday and she didnt get a card and she said "its funny when people do that to yu- you dont like it" and then she...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

HI I am back from my 9 day trip to my family of origin in Perth. there was not hassles at all. Normal family frustrations but thats it. I was worried about my sister wanting to 'party on' and arguing with my Dad and my husband getting into the 'party scene'. None of that happened. I felt my HP wiht me in ma...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Just a random fishing photo at sunset...2 monarchs still in crysalis's and 1 monarch open and alive....

Overcome · Overcome

I'm not going to make it for Sunday evening's meeting again this week. So I would like to ask for someone to try to cover for me at the 7 p.m. Sunday night meeting of the current OP's. Since mom moved into the VA home August 15th, I thought I'd have MORE time to do things and instead I have LESS. Today we are ha...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am reading this book by David Sheff called Beautiful Boy. Its about the father's side of what went on when his son was addicted to drugs (meth, heroin, pills, what have you). He mentions alanon in it and going to meetings which is nice. I know its not conference approved, but the sentence that struc...

sarebaer · sarebaer

I feel like I'm at the end of my rope and just grasping an ounce of serenity. It had already been through a rough couple of weeks with my active AH. I've come to realize my AH is jealous of my family. We have been married going on 10 years and I thought after all these years he would accept Them and love them lik...

Tracy · Tracy

My Abf has gone missing with mney he owes me and his mum. I really need it I am in bit of a financual mess. I am so angrey went to get his nieces baby because I was baby sitting fr her she told me she did not know where he was. I went to collect her baby from another house where she had been dumped and the girl tol...

dean · dean

My wife and I have been married 21 years. No children. When she quit work about 8 years ago, she began drinking more than social drinking. In that time period, she lost her parents, then as time went on, she lost most of her friends. She used the bottle as an excape. Her health became a challenge and the d...

seekingtruth · seekingtruth

Just to let you know... There has been renewed activity on the MIP CoDa board. The step study and book study are moving as well as daily meditations. Wonderfully solution based work. Would love to see you there! John said he was hoping to turn on the chat board soon - so hopefully we can even build a me...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I'm wondering if others would be willing to share their list of unacceptable behaviors and the consequences they have established if their qualifier should exhibit one of these behaviors. This is a new concept for me and while I am doing ok with establishing unacceptable behaviors I'm not doing so w...

nyc018 · nyc018

I had posted before about the dilemma I have with my family as it affects my separation from my AH. I am getting a legal separation from AH which involves agreeing on financial arrangements. Unfortunately the law is not on my side since I was the primary wage earner for the 5 years of marriage. Should it g...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...just some thoughts on last night's home group the Wednesday Night Turning Point AFG. Our lead put up the subject of "being Happy" and shared from some observations from her literature and he life. She works a good program and the subject was right on. We had an exhubera...

Devon · Devon

I've been dating a woman who has been in recovery (5 1/2 years A.A) for about 9 months. We live approximately 1 1/2 hours apart from each other. We both have 16 year old kids (she has a daughter and I a son...both 16). Our kids are healthy and they get along like a brother and sister. We have often done thin...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sometimes I feel like I am always letting go of something. Just somewhat trivial things like long-running TV programs. I just witnessed the last airing of All My Children--it ended very strangely. I guess I expected something else. I have been watching the show since I was a very little girl & rem...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Reaching Out (Preview) Hi, Haven't been on or posted in a while. New job is great! I truly enjoy it and am so busy that I don't have time to worry what the Afiance is doing all afternoon (he works early shift). He swears he wants sobriety. He attends 4 hours of substance abuse classes a week. He makes notes, he has epiphanies...	NovSun	9	562	Sep 30, 2011 by rrib
	Detach with Love? (Preview) Ok, another question... what the heck is detach with love?? Detaching to me means silent treatment for fear of losing my temper. It means ignoring him while he's drunk... which results in more aggressive, hateful words from him. It means taking the dog out for a walk to get away from him and the madn...	NovSun	15	6389	Sep 30, 2011 by Lindsaysp
	I am determined! (Preview) I am determined to get this right! I have a lot to offer & will always, I mean ALWAYS be the best me I can be! I don't feel so disappointed in myself today. I am not saying that I won't be tomorrow--still a WORK IN PROGRESS! To everyone who is feeling low today: I have been there so many times I can't count o...	Hoot Nanny	2	417	Sep 30, 2011 by youfoundme
	One of my "antistressors" (Preview) Meet Chloe Jazmine! (c: Was feeling sorta, well admitting, missing ex AH. Keep thinking I gotta go see him for ME. Do not want regrets I did not go see him. Sorta made me feel lost for a bit, So I do what I do and keep busy with animals and people. Visited my friends up here and picked up this baby opossom. The p...	Debilyn	1	597	Sep 30, 2011 by youfoundme
	Living with a recovering alcoholic. (Preview) Hi. New to the group and first post. My husband is a newly recovering alcoholic. He is 30 days sober. We have been together as a couple for 5 years and married for 2 1/2 years. I moved out of our house with my 15 year old son (from a previous marriage) approximately one month ago. My husband is verbally and em...	Catbird	19	5192	Sep 30, 2011 by pinkchip
	im just being a big baby (Preview) my mum has been on the phone all night and i cant pick up- we havent been speaking since i forogt her birthday.and i did the opposite of what i usually do- i just didnt care about and then gush all over the place to try and make it up to her- as if her emotions and feelings were paramount before all else. so sin...	rosielee	14	779	Sep 30, 2011 by rosielee
	Garage Sale Blues - Opportunity to Change Thy Perspective (Preview) Hi Everyone, Our small rural city has what is called a "citywide yard sale" each year. It's this Saturday. I've lived here for over 20 years and have never particpated. But this year we decided to join in the "fun." Truly I'd rather take a beating than have this thing. But he w...	GailMichelle	6	309	Sep 29, 2011 by NovSun
	going rund and round in step one (Preview) Hi guys i think I have said that I felt like I have relapsed recently. For some delusional reason, I thought up in my own little head that my husband was going to change his smoking pot habits. He never said he would, and never even implied that he might,,, I just thought of it all by myself.. and then of cou...	Lindaoakford	9	420	Sep 29, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	books (Preview) Wow I got some money and went to Amazon to get some more books like the daily affirmations etc. $20 for three books is great.. then comes the shipping... $40 to get three books to Australia!!!! Most don't post overseas that I find, especially the cheaper second hand options. oh well.. another $60......	Lindaoakford	8	529	Sep 29, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Treading the right path (Preview) Now my life is not as enmeshed with an alcoholic partner, I have to be so careful to stay on my side of the street. One of my former co workers is up and leaving the job he has and moving across country. He has some delusion he can get unemployment when he has left his job. I'm at a place where I just have to le...	maresie	2	344	Sep 29, 2011 by Mattie
	Missed this! (Preview) Hey everyone....good to be back. Haven't had computer access for about a month! I have been on the rollercoaster of emotions, but going to a meeting about 4 times a week seems to help. I cant control anyone buy myself...what a hard lesson to learn. Anyways, I enjoyed reading all the posts that I missed a...	Corgi2	6	328	Sep 29, 2011 by tommyecat
	Spiraling over my A (Preview) I have been spiraling and obsessing for a few days and am back and forth and all over the place. My divorce was final July 19th. For whatever reason my ex AH thought he needed to call me Sunday night and let me know he slept with a woman whom he met at a local bar and told me way too much detail about it all. He had...	Breakingfree	10	683	Sep 29, 2011 by tommyecat
	Did Serenity Prayer cost me my son? (Preview) My 27 year-old addicted son we saw going downhill, and we did not let him live at home again. Through working the 12 steps for the past 3 years, I had advanced to the point that his chaotic actions did not affect me as much as in the past. Back then, I would worry alot more, and sometimes try to find him if he...	Fiddleman	22	1278	Sep 29, 2011 by hotrod
	Choices (Preview) My meeting last night was on "choices". I immediately identified with the topic as the idea of making choices, specifically in regards to arguments and fights with my wife, was one of the first concepts that I really grasped when I got involved in Al Anon about a year ago. It was so refreshin...	usedtobeanyer	8	1750	Sep 29, 2011 by maresie
	making a cushion for myself (Preview) In the last few weeks I have had a major stressor in my cat being ill which required a lot of time going to the vet to get her set up on some medications. Then my phone broke, then I couldn't make it to the vet to get one of my dogs vaccinated. I generally view any of these obstacles as a calamity rather than a &q...	maresie	2	319	Sep 29, 2011 by luv123
	Please help me (Preview) I've been reading the post...and cannot stop crying...Saturday, my 33 year old son totaled his unpaid uninsured vehicle. Miraculostly he was not hurt. It was a blow out...this time he was not drinking. The police stopped to help...ran his driver's license and found a warrant for a fine he never paid...	Linda77	26	620	Sep 29, 2011 by Hot Chicka
	The quality of patience... (Preview) faith, hope and surrender gets me peace of mind and serenity...and Jade!! Aloha all and you know that one of the ways my HP expresses love and care for me is in flowers and plants...growing things that when they are ready give me gifts of beauty. Yes I get the same from lots of others things also and flo...	Jerry F	5	954	Sep 29, 2011 by tommyecat
	Be Grateful for the Pain (Preview) That is what my sponsor said to me this weekend. I thought to myself how could I really be grateful for the pain and confusion? I know from experience working with my sponsor I don't need to feel it to do it. Just take the action and do it. So I began writing yesterday to find out how. I wrote a gratitu...	tommyecat	13	695	Sep 29, 2011 by tommyecat
	boundaries with a struggling recovering AH (Preview) Hi all, my AH is very new to recovery, has tried now for several years to stop drinking but is struggling. He is going to AA and has completed one outpatient 90 day program and then one 30 day inpatient. Now I do believe he is drinking again - he hides it very well and has gone on binges w/out me knowing becau...	kael1539	10	537	Sep 28, 2011 by MsTonya
	Total nightmare!!! (Preview) Hey everybody, Most importantly: I owe more comments and attention to other posts, but my time is limited ,especially now! I have been able to read some posts, you guys are in my thoughts! Update/stressful rant: My RA has had almost 3 weeks to move, and has NOT moved out. He hasn't done anything at all...	rara avis	27	841	Sep 28, 2011 by pinkchip
	Abusive father (Preview) My father really liked to drink and when he did things got really ugly. My first nightmare was when I was 7 years old. One day, I came home from school and my father was the only one there and drunk. We lived in a condo on the 6th floor. He took me out on the balcony and asked me to count to 100, and so I started. We...	Livinginfear	15	605	Sep 28, 2011 by maresie
	I am confused! (Preview) Answer: It's none of my business, and it shouldn't matter to me why he is doing this. Question: AH had been dry/sober for quite some time, and recently decided that he could handle "a few drinks every now and again." While it certainly isn't what it was, the handful of times he has been out...	Hot Chicka	11	588	Sep 28, 2011 by rosielee
	Quick update (Preview) Last nights meeting was awesome!! Loved it!!! We are working out of the book Pathways to Recovery and it's just an amazing read and share time with some amazing people. The friend issue is basically coming to a head exactly the way I saw it coming. My AH wanted to look like the good guy only to have his...	Pushka	4	466	Sep 27, 2011 by Breakingfree
	He wont pay the bills (Preview) My AH and I are separated for almost a year. I am now planning a divorce. Here's my question. My husband is on my medical insurance and he uses it to go around to doctor shop and get his zanax and ambien. I keep getting these co payment bills because although he is the patient the insurance is in my name? He is...	alexmaui	10	718	Sep 27, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Trust Hp (Preview) In the moring I have to find the money (200) to pay for a neighbours car to be fixed I bumped it when my ex mother in law died ;last weekend. I was going to use the money my abf has gone missing with that he owes me. I am in some financual trouble at mo and moving home just before christmas. My ABF knew all this ...	Tracy	4	471	Sep 27, 2011 by GailMichelle
	bus didn't take long (Preview) Hi Well, you know how I was feeling like I waiting for that bus... well it arrived.. guess what.. its the same bus. For some reason I thought he had thought about things and there was a change in the air. Nope.... he smoked this morning right after I left for work. I asked him why and he said he felt like it...	Lindaoakford	19	496	Sep 27, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Do It Now!! (Preview) Holy cow, I have to strike while the iron is hot when it comes to my domestic goddess challenges. I had the house looking soooo lovely about a week ago and I'm soooo glad I took those before and after pictures because I keep going back to them. It has made such a big difference to be able to see the before an...	Pushka	6	476	Sep 27, 2011 by Pushka
	birthdays, holidays, weddings, births and deaths (Preview) Regarding furneral for Ex "father in law" type person. My ex A Boyfriend said there is not really going to be a "service" just a "gathering" of friends etc. at the funeral home. He said he wasn't really comfortable "receiving" alot of attention and that m...	glad	3	474	Sep 26, 2011 by maresie
	Still here...just been a very emotionally draining week (Preview) Hi everyone, I haven't forgotten about you all here. The week has been very long and stressful. I have checked in to read posts to keep me on track just haven't had the mental energy at the end of the day to write. There have been alot of ups and downs this week with my AH. Last week I posted about testing my bo...	Jonesy0505	10	436	Sep 26, 2011 by Jonesy0505
	No Problems, Only Solutions - What the Heck? (Preview) Hi All, This morning we got up early to tackle a hedge, trim it back, before the sun was blazing down on us. As we worked, I noticed how light I felt and that my mind was not plagued with worry as it always was in the past. I thought about why I feel so differently these days. The answer came in a form of a song....	GailMichelle	11	662	Sep 26, 2011 by canadianguy
	Short and oh so sweet! (Preview) The idea of attending alanon face to face meetings even if you don't think it is for you or even if it seems like it's not "helping" is such a wonderful thing. I first attended alanon in Dec 2008 I think. I didn't really see changes in my situation until recently BUT it seems like my brain is draw...	glad	6	444	Sep 26, 2011 by youfoundme
	That face (Preview) Like many of you, I grew up in an alcoholic household, with both parents being heavy daily drinkers. Amazing how I find myself reliving some of those bad memories now with my wife. I have a picture from when I graduated college, about 20 years ago. I'm standing next to my now deceased mom, who was in a whee...	usedtobeanyer	6	507	Sep 26, 2011 by youfoundme
	Its been a week.... (Preview) Well its been a week since my AH went to jail. And last weekend when I posted I never thought I would make it, or thought it would get easier. But it has, when he got his furlough tuesday that helped me emotionally a lot. And during this week I did a lot of thinking and reflecting back. And I realize how I did no...	jmanning	9	543	Sep 26, 2011 by maresie
	Processing changes with the tools (Preview) Practicing the principles in all my affairs: I am really trying to stay in the day and let go of the unknowns until I need to know about them. There is a likely chance that we could have to move for a couple yrs. while hubby has a contract to work in DC. I am nervous about living in or so near to a large city. I am n...	luv123	3	440	Sep 26, 2011 by maresie
	mmm WOW!!!!!! (Preview) Again I am so very thankful for my higher power mostly and for this board and for alanon. Earlier this week I spoke with my ex A boyfriend by phone about his sick father and basicly a "how are you call" in the past I couldn't even look at or speak to my ex without crying and then staying in bed all a...	glad	4	532	Sep 26, 2011 by maresie
	Long conversation with Ex-A (Preview) It has been 3 years since we split up. Ironically 1 week away from 3 years sober for me cuz my first day sober was the day we split. So anyhow, I talked to my ex for like an hour and a half. He is the type of alcoholic that typically finds another alcoholic or addict that drinks or drugs worse than him and the...	pinkchip	10	796	Sep 26, 2011 by maresie
	Loving an Alcoholic (Preview) Did I ever think that this was possible?? NO! I found it hard to really love my mother because of alcoholism, my ex was an alcoholic...and now I've let myself get involved with a man who has known me for years, who is an alcoholic, who is married and who hit me for the first time a week ago. I've never been h...	Irene	13	1038	Sep 26, 2011 by seekingtruth
	Feeling Twitchy and Itchy .. (Preview) Which translates to I def need to get to a meeting, thank goodness there is one tonight. There's a lot going on at the moment and I have concerns over how my mother is choosing to grieve. I'm all about everyone needs to grieve in their own way, (I worked at a funeral home) there are issues though and right...	Pushka	6	614	Sep 26, 2011 by rosielee
	First Post... (Preview) Hello, -I went to my first Al-anon meeting last Monday night. IT was a very overwhelming experience - - made me wonder if I had what it took to hear the stories of those who shared... I shared my story, too, and it was good to be able to talk about things. briefly, I am two-years into a second marriage, af...	HDgem	8	529	Sep 26, 2011 by rosielee
	precipice (sp?) (Preview) Hi guys As you may remember, I just got back from holidays with my husband. For the holidays I had a 'straight' husband. All the issues that I thought would happen, didn't happen. Basically he didn't get the opportunity to smoke because none of my friends do, and my sisters birthday proved that she ha...	Lindaoakford	4	477	Sep 26, 2011 by rosielee
	Some comfort please? (Preview) Hi, My big brother is the alcoholic. He is 32 and I am 22. He stopped drinking 3 years ago and since then we have become ever so close. He is the best big brother in the world. However, today he has slipped. He has been dating a lovely lady recently and his emotions have taken over him, so much that he has st...	littlesister	9	630	Sep 26, 2011 by littlesister
	My sponsor just turned my head inside-out! (Preview) I was telling her about something my dad had said to me, and she bluntly said "that's abuse". She said the same thing about a couple other childhood moments I shared with her. ...I'd heard of verbal/emotional abuse before, and had come to the conclusion that A) it's mostly something made up...	atheos	5	728	Sep 26, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	I'm getting there (Preview) Hi. I have just come in from an evening out at a local restaurant with Son, Daughter & Partner to celebrate what would have been my husband, Stephen's 64th birthday (it is now 22.35 in the UK). What a waste! We should have been enjoying retirement by now and doing all sorts of things. But it was not to b...	Tattyhead	4	341	Sep 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Realizing That Life Happens whether I'm ready or Not! (Preview) Hey MIP... Missed you All... Sorry been Away for awhile but Life seems to just Keep on Keepin On even if My feet Never seem to Hit the Floor... Same stuff Differant way, but I am Getting by the Best I can and with a Pretty Awesome HP helping me get over the Hurdles... You know the More I looked at "ME&quo...	Jozie	2	381	Sep 25, 2011 by Debilyn
	love (Preview) Why do i want do be in love? I find myself looking for it everywhere. I still very much love my ex A, but found out from some friends that she cheated. She admitted to them while drunk. I found out over labor day. Damn i wish things had been different. I keep going to meetings and things do not seem to get any be...	jamfu	10	704	Sep 25, 2011 by likemyheart
	just a minute! (Preview) I was just thinking about the expression: NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! Isn't that kind of funny. I never thought of that before. My sponsor has a lot of wisdom & experience--she has been in the Program for almost 13 years. I know what she says comes from her heart. I have nothing but respect & adm...	Hoot Nanny	3	513	Sep 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	iv just forgotten my mums birthday....and shes "livid" and to be honest i dont care!!!!! (Preview) so- this is my mum- a dry drunk and completely self obsessed. so she phones me up tonight and says....(in her "Im having a funny with you " voice") and says it was her birthday and she didnt get a card and she said "its funny when people do that to yu- you dont like it" and then she...	rosielee	9	739	Sep 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	back from Perth (Preview) HI I am back from my 9 day trip to my family of origin in Perth. there was not hassles at all. Normal family frustrations but thats it. I was worried about my sister wanting to 'party on' and arguing with my Dad and my husband getting into the 'party scene'. None of that happened. I felt my HP wiht me in ma...	Lindaoakford	10	553	Sep 24, 2011 by GailMichelle
	A few more recent photos (Preview) Just a random fishing photo at sunset...2 monarchs still in crysalis's and 1 monarch open and alive....	youfoundme	6	312	Sep 24, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Sunday night's meeting (Preview) I'm not going to make it for Sunday evening's meeting again this week. So I would like to ask for someone to try to cover for me at the 7 p.m. Sunday night meeting of the current OP's. Since mom moved into the VA home August 15th, I thought I'd have MORE time to do things and instead I have LESS. Today we are ha...	Overcome	0	333	Sep 24, 2011 by Overcome
	Please don't confront me with my failures. I have not forgotten them (Preview) I am reading this book by David Sheff called Beautiful Boy. Its about the father's side of what went on when his son was addicted to drugs (meth, heroin, pills, what have you). He mentions alanon in it and going to meetings which is nice. I know its not conference approved, but the sentence that struc...	youfoundme	15	1269	Sep 24, 2011 by HDgem
	Stressed beyond words. (Preview) I feel like I'm at the end of my rope and just grasping an ounce of serenity. It had already been through a rough couple of weeks with my active AH. I've come to realize my AH is jealous of my family. We have been married going on 10 years and I thought after all these years he would accept Them and love them lik...	sarebaer	7	496	Sep 24, 2011 by Tattyhead
	sorry need to get this out. (Preview) My Abf has gone missing with mney he owes me and his mum. I really need it I am in bit of a financual mess. I am so angrey went to get his nieces baby because I was baby sitting fr her she told me she did not know where he was. I went to collect her baby from another house where she had been dumped and the girl tol...	Tracy	7	573	Sep 24, 2011 by Tattyhead
	8 years ago (Preview) My wife and I have been married 21 years. No children. When she quit work about 8 years ago, she began drinking more than social drinking. In that time period, she lost her parents, then as time went on, she lost most of her friends. She used the bottle as an excape. Her health became a challenge and the d...	dean	5	502	Sep 24, 2011 by maresie
	CoDA Board (Preview) Just to let you know... There has been renewed activity on the MIP CoDa board. The step study and book study are moving as well as daily meditations. Wonderfully solution based work. Would love to see you there! John said he was hoping to turn on the chat board soon - so hopefully we can even build a me...	seekingtruth	1	275	Sep 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Unacceptable behavior and consequences (Preview) I'm wondering if others would be willing to share their list of unacceptable behaviors and the consequences they have established if their qualifier should exhibit one of these behaviors. This is a new concept for me and while I am doing ok with establishing unacceptable behaviors I'm not doing so w...	usedtobeanyer	23	8094	Sep 24, 2011 by rosielee
	Abuse from all ends (Preview) I had posted before about the dilemma I have with my family as it affects my separation from my AH. I am getting a legal separation from AH which involves agreeing on financial arrangements. Unfortunately the law is not on my side since I was the primary wage earner for the 5 years of marriage. Should it g...	nyc018	6	504	Sep 24, 2011 by rosielee
	On Being Happy.... (Preview) Aloha Family...just some thoughts on last night's home group the Wednesday Night Turning Point AFG. Our lead put up the subject of "being Happy" and shared from some observations from her literature and he life. She works a good program and the subject was right on. We had an exhubera...	Jerry F	5	432	Sep 23, 2011 by Jozie
	Dating a Woman in Recovery (Preview) I've been dating a woman who has been in recovery (5 1/2 years A.A) for about 9 months. We live approximately 1 1/2 hours apart from each other. We both have 16 year old kids (she has a daughter and I a son...both 16). Our kids are healthy and they get along like a brother and sister. We have often done thin...	Devon	14	1153	Sep 23, 2011 by Devon
	letting go... (Preview) Sometimes I feel like I am always letting go of something. Just somewhat trivial things like long-running TV programs. I just witnessed the last airing of All My Children--it ended very strangely. I guess I expected something else. I have been watching the show since I was a very little girl & rem...	Hoot Nanny	1	423	Sep 23, 2011 by Lindaoakford
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.