Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Tracy · Tracy

My Abf has hit his rock bottom again. I know he is ill and I am trying to be caring however he stole money and was aprting with some girl who is not a lady put it that way. I have made amends for my reactions to his latest slip but now he thinks everything is back to normal. Today i told him I need space as i am ang...

MissHulme · MissHulme

I'm a 20 year old currently, and though my parents broke up when I was 2 his effect on my life has been large. When I say this it by no means is a good effect. My father does not call me, but when he does see me (which is by force from my uncle) he pretends like he has been there for me telling me he loves me when he se...

coffeegrounds · coffeegrounds

Ok so I thought I was working the program ok. Got acceptance down or did I? Not tonight! HA! AH was sober for 10 months after rehab, then 6 months ago off wagon. He has been drinking most days, goes sober but can't do it longer than 3 days. Constant denial on how much he drinks, always hiding it and lyi...

Pushka · Pushka

My AH's suspended licnese is coming to an end. The trick is he has to come up with 250$ to get it back. He hadn't said anything except oh 30 days before I can pay the fine. Oookkk .. lol .. I have NO idea where he thinks I'm coming up with this money we are doing well to keep our heads above water with the way th...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

So I have been here all along as BreakingFree, but I don't remember my password and so here I am back as flopadopilus. Oh well I guess I preferred this one anyway. Yes it's a new picture on my avatar no face lift or boyfriend, just exercise and working a good program for me is making me look better I guess. Af...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

if anyone has any esh that would give me strength & hope .. please share .. this is really compulsive on my part .. i haven't done this in years .. I drove past my alcoholic's house this morning at 6 a.m. and saw him leaving with someone new .. not even judging it .. i needed to go for me .. he didn't see me .....

lyonzgirl · lyonzgirl

I just dropped my husband off at a rehab center, but he's addicted to oxycontin. There's no NA support for families in my area and they told me to go to AlAnon instead. I have absolutely no one that I can talk to. I've been dealing with this all by myself and I'm tired. I love my husband, but if this fails, the...

Tracy · Tracy

My ABF rang last night he is staying with someone from AA and is ready to get back to his recovery. He said he wants me to forget whats happended work my programme and lets move on. He said he does not want to look at yesterday. I told him we have been here before that it is not about his alcoholism but what...

pineapple · pineapple

Well I just had a nice conversation with my A. We sat on the patio and talked about a few different things. Nothing important...the weather, the garden, the pets, etc. Even so, it's nice to have just that little bit of him for a brief time. Then he got up and said he was going to walk to the store down the road...

lovesanacoa · lovesanacoa

Hi everyone. As my user name suggests I love an adult child of an alcoholic. I have been married to my ACOA for 19 years. It has not been easy since I am told I am to blame for everything that is causing issues in the marriage. He will not accept that his actions are to blame as well. I started attending local A...

mikeco · mikeco

Hi everyone, I have been pondering my responsibility in this situation and could use some experience, strength and hope. My wife and I will likely be separating or divorcing soon over a few different issues. We are seeking counseling together and it may be what we need but I am not banking on it. My wif...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

HI all I am feeling a bit strange at the moment. My mind is not telling my how bad my life is and how much of a loser I am!!??? That is not usual for me at all??? This weekend, I posted that he was stoned. I was waiting for it. I think he 'kinda' respected my boundary in that he was doing a job around the house th...

worriedandlost · worriedandlost

Hello, Im new here and dont currently attend Al-anon meetings although I have often thought about it. My name is Emily and I am 23. The alcoholic in my life is my father. Although Im not sure if he is actually an alcoholic or whether my problems with him are really that big compared to others. What I do kno...

KeepingFaith · KeepingFaith

I appreciate everyone's responses and support. I feel so frustrated in myself for not being like a jack-in-the-box, popping into reality and just leaving the mess behind me. I know that the only way for me to feel better right now is to let go of what I have already lost (the love of my life). Consciously...

chemprac · chemprac

My wife has relapse after 3 yrs, saying that a drink is the only way she can take the edge off suicidal depression which she feels results from feeling boxed in by everyone telling her what to do -- me, her sponser, my son. She has stopped going to AA saying that she finds it just makes het feel bad about hers...

youfoundme · youfoundme

LOL... had to think of something unique... I guess something I am learning is that I always thought I had to be perpetually, terminally unique, because god-forbid I was not noticed somehow. I craved acceptance because I needed approval. It didn't have to be healthy approval and acceptance, jus...

callmemara · callmemara

I am curious if your AS knows you are going to Al-anon meetings? Did you tell them? Or how did they find out? How did they react when they found out you were going to al-anon meetings?

callmemara · callmemara

I would like to hear how you have dealt with your finances and being married to an A? For example, how do you make sure the bills get paid so you don't have them disconnected? Or what about, have you ever been evicted d/t not being able to pay the rent b/c of their reckless spending on his addiction? Did you h...

KLotus · KLotus

I know that Sundays are difficult for my alcoholic husband. They were for me for a very long time as well. Now I have an easier time learning to enjoy what the day brings, and what I am able to create with it. However, it is still tough sometimes, knowing that I have a full work week ahead, and all of that t...

Jonesy0505 · Jonesy0505

Five nights last week out all night, no call, no texts, nothing. Just a whole lot of blaming me when he shows up. This week has been actually pretty quiet... home everynight, in a fairly good mood, interacting with kids, no drinking, no drugs UNTIL... tonight! Tells me he will be home by 7. Well it's 9:30...

jmanning · jmanning

Well its been 2 weeks since my AH has went to county jail, still waiting on a bed for rehab. I can honestly say it has been easier. I am doing for myself, making choices for myself and not looking for approval from no one. I have not be able to go to F2F mtg because of school. But I did start going back to church...

bandit714 · bandit714

Hi, I've been looking around the internet trying to find some ideas to help my wife get sober, when we first met we were both drinking and hanging out in clubs, at that time I didn't feel like there was problem because we didn't drink all the time, but we did drink a lot because it was a new relationship and w...

Jonesy0505 · Jonesy0505

I've toyed with this idea for awhile and have gotten many mixed opinions, although they are from people who aren't in the position most of us here are in. What are your personal opinions or esh's about interventions? Sherri

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

So .. I'm back in town and haven't been online much .. if any of you read my time in Washington, it was pretty much chaos the last 2 days .. but so i came home and my alcoholic says ... ok i want nothing to do with you, i only want to see our daughter .. Well i've pounded meetings and the grief has been unbelievabl...

sookie · sookie

It has been so long since I have posted! So much has happened but in some ways, not much has changed. My AH had moved out the first week of August and then got his 2nd DWI the first week of Sept. I am awaiting his court date still but and of course there is the possibility of jail time. My kids still do not really...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

It has been a while since I have posted but I read the posts daily it helps me go through the days! And if course I go to face 2 face meetings so I got my al anon daily IV dose to pump me up! Anyway we have been officially legally and physically separated for 3 weeks and despite the emotional rollercoaster I fee...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I am not sure I shared this. This is my son. He learned this from a Native American. A person has to have total concentration to do this. He finds a sharp big rock and balances it on stable rocks. This is by what I meant I had to let go and allow him to find his own power. I mean in everything. His father is the mon...

Vancouver · Vancouver

How do you deal with or how can you tell if you live with a person that is a dry drunk?

jitsuka · jitsuka

Hi there. I'm a very grateful member of Al-anon. The A in my life is my partner, she's been drinking for years but admitted to me (total suprise to me) that she is an A. Her mother was an A too. Recently she has been drinking (in "secret" in the bedroom) after work. She drinks every day (vodka), s...

rara avis · rara avis

Update: The movers are coming today to take my RA's stuff to storage. I also have to mail him a key and info and am praying for no drama. [ warning: pity pot moment!] I feel so sad. The house is emptying out. I know that a relationship doesn't define us, that each individual needs to build their own life. An...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

It's amazing to me how much power i give my own thoughts and feelings .. As if i really believe if i think something feel something .. it is in absolutes .. I said to someone the other night .. i feel like i'm 5 and they shot back with you never got to be 5 .. it hit me when my family moved out of the house .. brother...

MsTonya · MsTonya

I'm very excited to see him but truth is I am scared to death. I'm trying to do some research on alanon meetings I really need someone to talk to about my feelings. Any good info or comments would be appreciated.

Pushka · Pushka

I really gotta say if this program so works on so many different levels. It's a program that for me, I get out of it what I put into it. I can work it or not work it, it's 100% my responsibility. This past year I have put a tremendous amount of work into it and I have so much further to go. There have been some r...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

So ok .. 3 x's a charm .. I am so completely restless .. grieving the pain of the end of this relationship and desperately trying in my mind to come up with solutions to how to change, control, fix, n save it .. I just can't believe this person would Really walk away .. Somewhere along the lines i got it set in m...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi guys i am on here because I am trying to take care of me for a bit. My husband is home for the weekend. He is wanting to fix a broken bit on the car.... it has been broken for about 3 months... today he just really wanted to get to it. there is no reason. He was supposed to go and buy a part to help fix it with.....

youfoundme · youfoundme

Can you tell me what it was like when you wanted to be sober but just couldn't get it yet? I am just curious, and maybe curiousity killed the cat, but I just want another perspective. I have read the AA big book, so I know that from a book, but just wanted to hear some other stories... did you pitter out or q...

odalis · odalis

I haven't poted here in a while, and really haven't been going to meetings that much either, but I am taking it one day at a time and coping the best I can with my AH. Well, today I wanted to share that I am no longer keeping secrets. One of my very best friends who I wrote on here that I thought was giving me hint...

NeedingGuidance · NeedingGuidance

For the last little while I thought our problems were mine and had mire to do with me then the alcohol but after some thought I believe that is just as much part of the problem. I love my Boyfriend, that I know. His drinking I have come to hate. (yes on occassion I will have a glass of wine but rarely). A li...

Jerry F · Jerry F

This is conformation for me that God will do for me what I cannot do for myself. All I have to do is nurture the process and that which touches my spirit and calms it will come about. Yes I love this color of Red and then it also comes in Teal and both do the same thing for my spirit. I stand still, feel very g...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I misquoted Author Unknown: You can tell the size of your God by looking at the size of your worry list. The longer your list , the smaller your God.

KeepingFaith · KeepingFaith

This is all new to me & yet of great comfort in knowing that I am really not alone as I have found my way here. My boyfriend was a high functioning alcoholic. He got hooked on sleeping pills (unconfirmed pain killers as well) and became hooked on the meds which of course has spiraled his alcoholism in...

kris10 · kris10

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8Gf4-eT3w0&ob=...

kris10 · kris10

Today I got more money stolen out of my wallet.... Not the first time.. I absolutely HATE this... How disrespectful when he spends all of his money within 4 days on dope and then I have to take care of him the rest of the month (cigarettes, food, gas,ect.) He never pays me back in full because he already owe...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

well...that is three posts in a row for me. I am making up for some lost time I guess. I don't have enough time to really say what is in my mind & heart. Someone said on the internet that we should log off & get a life(something to that respect anyhow) I have been known to misquote a lot. I guess I need t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I just have a little info: some quotes I got today when looking at the internet! You can tell the size of your God by looking at the size of your worry list, the smaller your list, the bigger your God. Author Unknown. I hope I quoted that right? Apologizing: Does not always mean you're wrong & the other...

liar · liar

My sisters and myself know my mom is still drinking in private. She refuses to say she does even though we all know. She thinks she is smarter than every one around her, but its obvious. To add to that, she becomes very irate and takes it out on her family when confronted. What do you recommend my sist...

NovSun · NovSun

Hi, Haven't been on or posted in a while. New job is great! I truly enjoy it and am so busy that I don't have time to worry what the Afiance is doing all afternoon (he works early shift). He swears he wants sobriety. He attends 4 hours of substance abuse classes a week. He makes notes, he has epiphanies...

NovSun · NovSun

Ok, another question... what the heck is detach with love?? Detaching to me means silent treatment for fear of losing my temper. It means ignoring him while he's drunk... which results in more aggressive, hateful words from him. It means taking the dog out for a walk to get away from him and the madn...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am determined to get this right! I have a lot to offer & will always, I mean ALWAYS be the best me I can be! I don't feel so disappointed in myself today. I am not saying that I won't be tomorrow--still a WORK IN PROGRESS! To everyone who is feeling low today: I have been there so many times I can't count o...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Meet Chloe Jazmine! (c: Was feeling sorta, well admitting, missing ex AH. Keep thinking I gotta go see him for ME. Do not want regrets I did not go see him. Sorta made me feel lost for a bit, So I do what I do and keep busy with animals and people. Visited my friends up here and picked up this baby opossom. The p...

Catbird · Catbird

Hi. New to the group and first post. My husband is a newly recovering alcoholic. He is 30 days sober. We have been together as a couple for 5 years and married for 2 1/2 years. I moved out of our house with my 15 year old son (from a previous marriage) approximately one month ago. My husband is verbally and em...

rosielee · rosielee

my mum has been on the phone all night and i cant pick up- we havent been speaking since i forogt her birthday.and i did the opposite of what i usually do- i just didnt care about and then gush all over the place to try and make it up to her- as if her emotions and feelings were paramount before all else. so sin...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Hi Everyone, Our small rural city has what is called a "citywide yard sale" each year. It's this Saturday. I've lived here for over 20 years and have never particpated. But this year we decided to join in the "fun." Truly I'd rather take a beating than have this thing. But he w...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi guys i think I have said that I felt like I have relapsed recently. For some delusional reason, I thought up in my own little head that my husband was going to change his smoking pot habits. He never said he would, and never even implied that he might,,, I just thought of it all by myself.. and then of cou...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Wow I got some money and went to Amazon to get some more books like the daily affirmations etc. $20 for three books is great.. then comes the shipping... $40 to get three books to Australia!!!! Most don't post overseas that I find, especially the cheaper second hand options. oh well.. another $60......

maresie · maresie

Now my life is not as enmeshed with an alcoholic partner, I have to be so careful to stay on my side of the street. One of my former co workers is up and leaving the job he has and moving across country. He has some delusion he can get unemployment when he has left his job. I'm at a place where I just have to le...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hey everyone....good to be back. Haven't had computer access for about a month! I have been on the rollercoaster of emotions, but going to a meeting about 4 times a week seems to help. I cant control anyone buy myself...what a hard lesson to learn. Anyways, I enjoyed reading all the posts that I missed a...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have been spiraling and obsessing for a few days and am back and forth and all over the place. My divorce was final July 19th. For whatever reason my ex AH thought he needed to call me Sunday night and let me know he slept with a woman whom he met at a local bar and told me way too much detail about it all. He had...

Fiddleman · Fiddleman

My 27 year-old addicted son we saw going downhill, and we did not let him live at home again. Through working the 12 steps for the past 3 years, I had advanced to the point that his chaotic actions did not affect me as much as in the past. Back then, I would worry alot more, and sometimes try to find him if he...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My meeting last night was on "choices". I immediately identified with the topic as the idea of making choices, specifically in regards to arguments and fights with my wife, was one of the first concepts that I really grasped when I got involved in Al Anon about a year ago. It was so refreshin...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	self care (Preview) My Abf has hit his rock bottom again. I know he is ill and I am trying to be caring however he stole money and was aprting with some girl who is not a lady put it that way. I have made amends for my reactions to his latest slip but now he thinks everything is back to normal. Today i told him I need space as i am ang...	Tracy	5	513	Oct 4, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	Long time coming, finaly ready to talk. (Preview) I'm a 20 year old currently, and though my parents broke up when I was 2 his effect on my life has been large. When I say this it by no means is a good effect. My father does not call me, but when he does see me (which is by force from my uncle) he pretends like he has been there for me telling me he loves me when he se...	MissHulme	9	480	Oct 4, 2011 by MissHulme
	Just venting,rambling,dumping before I go to bed! VERY LONG sorry! (Preview) Ok so I thought I was working the program ok. Got acceptance down or did I? Not tonight! HA! AH was sober for 10 months after rehab, then 6 months ago off wagon. He has been drinking most days, goes sober but can't do it longer than 3 days. Constant denial on how much he drinks, always hiding it and lyi...	coffeegrounds	7	566	Oct 4, 2011 by youfoundme
	A little anxiety, it's ok .. (Preview) My AH's suspended licnese is coming to an end. The trick is he has to come up with 250$ to get it back. He hadn't said anything except oh 30 days before I can pay the fine. Oookkk .. lol .. I have NO idea where he thinks I'm coming up with this money we are doing well to keep our heads above water with the way th...	Pushka	6	561	Oct 4, 2011 by youfoundme
	BreakingFree vs Flopadopilus (Preview) So I have been here all along as BreakingFree, but I don't remember my password and so here I am back as flopadopilus. Oh well I guess I preferred this one anyway. Yes it's a new picture on my avatar no face lift or boyfriend, just exercise and working a good program for me is making me look better I guess. Af...	flopadopilus	4	474	Oct 4, 2011 by youfoundme
	forced surrender .. submission ? obssessive compulsive more so .. (Preview) if anyone has any esh that would give me strength & hope .. please share .. this is really compulsive on my part .. i haven't done this in years .. I drove past my alcoholic's house this morning at 6 a.m. and saw him leaving with someone new .. not even judging it .. i needed to go for me .. he didn't see me .....	MeTwo2	9	821	Oct 4, 2011 by flopadopilus
	I'm all alone out here! (Preview) I just dropped my husband off at a rehab center, but he's addicted to oxycontin. There's no NA support for families in my area and they told me to go to AlAnon instead. I have absolutely no one that I can talk to. I've been dealing with this all by myself and I'm tired. I love my husband, but if this fails, the...	lyonzgirl	9	683	Oct 4, 2011 by tommyecat
	confused (Preview) My ABF rang last night he is staying with someone from AA and is ready to get back to his recovery. He said he wants me to forget whats happended work my programme and lets move on. He said he does not want to look at yesterday. I told him we have been here before that it is not about his alcoholism but what...	Tracy	8	715	Oct 4, 2011 by tommyecat
	mornings (Preview) Well I just had a nice conversation with my A. We sat on the patio and talked about a few different things. Nothing important...the weather, the garden, the pets, etc. Even so, it's nice to have just that little bit of him for a brief time. Then he got up and said he was going to walk to the store down the road...	pineapple	7	474	Oct 4, 2011 by tommyecat
	Hi everyone I'm new here, but not to Al Anon (Preview) Hi everyone. As my user name suggests I love an adult child of an alcoholic. I have been married to my ACOA for 19 years. It has not been easy since I am told I am to blame for everything that is causing issues in the marriage. He will not accept that his actions are to blame as well. I started attending local A...	lovesanacoa	10	557	Oct 4, 2011 by lovesanacoa
	Wife is angry at my A parents (Preview) Hi everyone, I have been pondering my responsibility in this situation and could use some experience, strength and hope. My wife and I will likely be separating or divorcing soon over a few different issues. We are seeking counseling together and it may be what we need but I am not banking on it. My wif...	mikeco	7	723	Oct 4, 2011 by mikeco
	My weekend (Preview) HI all I am feeling a bit strange at the moment. My mind is not telling my how bad my life is and how much of a loser I am!!??? That is not usual for me at all??? This weekend, I posted that he was stoned. I was waiting for it. I think he 'kinda' respected my boundary in that he was doing a job around the house th...	Lindaoakford	8	562	Oct 3, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	What should I do (Preview) Hello, Im new here and dont currently attend Al-anon meetings although I have often thought about it. My name is Emily and I am 23. The alcoholic in my life is my father. Although Im not sure if he is actually an alcoholic or whether my problems with him are really that big compared to others. What I do kno...	worriedandlost	5	696	Oct 3, 2011 by Debilyn
	Angry with his disease. Help moving forward... detaching accepting letting go (Preview) I appreciate everyone's responses and support. I feel so frustrated in myself for not being like a jack-in-the-box, popping into reality and just leaving the mess behind me. I know that the only way for me to feel better right now is to let go of what I have already lost (the love of my life). Consciously...	KeepingFaith	5	9864	Oct 3, 2011 by Debilyn
	How do i behave (Preview) My wife has relapse after 3 yrs, saying that a drink is the only way she can take the edge off suicidal depression which she feels results from feeling boxed in by everyone telling her what to do -- me, her sponser, my son. She has stopped going to AA saying that she finds it just makes het feel bad about hers...	chemprac	5	3045	Oct 3, 2011 by rrib
	Status update (Preview) LOL... had to think of something unique... I guess something I am learning is that I always thought I had to be perpetually, terminally unique, because god-forbid I was not noticed somehow. I craved acceptance because I needed approval. It didn't have to be healthy approval and acceptance, jus...	youfoundme	10	622	Oct 3, 2011 by pineapple
	Does your A know you are going to Al-anon? (Preview) I am curious if your AS knows you are going to Al-anon meetings? Did you tell them? Or how did they find out? How did they react when they found out you were going to al-anon meetings?	callmemara	11	713	Oct 3, 2011 by Tracey C
	Finances (Preview) I would like to hear how you have dealt with your finances and being married to an A? For example, how do you make sure the bills get paid so you don't have them disconnected? Or what about, have you ever been evicted d/t not being able to pay the rent b/c of their reckless spending on his addiction? Did you h...	callmemara	5	572	Oct 2, 2011 by likemyheart
	Sunday (Preview) I know that Sundays are difficult for my alcoholic husband. They were for me for a very long time as well. Now I have an easier time learning to enjoy what the day brings, and what I am able to create with it. However, it is still tough sometimes, knowing that I have a full work week ahead, and all of that t...	KLotus	2	563	Oct 2, 2011 by flopadopilus
	well seems to me... I'm spending yet another night alone... (Preview) Five nights last week out all night, no call, no texts, nothing. Just a whole lot of blaming me when he shows up. This week has been actually pretty quiet... home everynight, in a fairly good mood, interacting with kids, no drinking, no drugs UNTIL... tonight! Tells me he will be home by 7. Well it's 9:30...	Jonesy0505	7	730	Oct 2, 2011 by Jonesy0505
	2 weeks now (Preview) Well its been 2 weeks since my AH has went to county jail, still waiting on a bed for rehab. I can honestly say it has been easier. I am doing for myself, making choices for myself and not looking for approval from no one. I have not be able to go to F2F mtg because of school. But I did start going back to church...	jmanning	5	469	Oct 2, 2011 by pineapple
	What is expected of me??? (Preview) Hi, I've been looking around the internet trying to find some ideas to help my wife get sober, when we first met we were both drinking and hanging out in clubs, at that time I didn't feel like there was problem because we didn't drink all the time, but we did drink a lot because it was a new relationship and w...	bandit714	4	695	Oct 2, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Interventions: Do they work or not? (Preview) I've toyed with this idea for awhile and have gotten many mixed opinions, although they are from people who aren't in the position most of us here are in. What are your personal opinions or esh's about interventions? Sherri	Jonesy0505	9	1225	Oct 2, 2011 by Jonesy0505
	Grieving the losses of 10 years .. (Preview) So .. I'm back in town and haven't been online much .. if any of you read my time in Washington, it was pretty much chaos the last 2 days .. but so i came home and my alcoholic says ... ok i want nothing to do with you, i only want to see our daughter .. Well i've pounded meetings and the grief has been unbelievabl...	MeTwo2	7	648	Oct 2, 2011 by flopadopilus
	AH's 2nd DWI but I'm feeling OK (Preview) It has been so long since I have posted! So much has happened but in some ways, not much has changed. My AH had moved out the first week of August and then got his 2nd DWI the first week of Sept. I am awaiting his court date still but and of course there is the possibility of jail time. My kids still do not really...	sookie	4	466	Oct 2, 2011 by youfoundme
	Update (Preview) It has been a while since I have posted but I read the posts daily it helps me go through the days! And if course I go to face 2 face meetings so I got my al anon daily IV dose to pump me up! Anyway we have been officially legally and physically separated for 3 weeks and despite the emotional rollercoaster I fee...	Crazy Frog	4	400	Oct 2, 2011 by KLotus
	Meditation, your own power (Preview) I am not sure I shared this. This is my son. He learned this from a Native American. A person has to have total concentration to do this. He finds a sharp big rock and balances it on stable rocks. This is by what I meant I had to let go and allow him to find his own power. I mean in everything. His father is the mon...	Debilyn	4	550	Oct 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	Dry Drunk (Preview) How do you deal with or how can you tell if you live with a person that is a dry drunk?	Vancouver	4	609	Oct 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	Partner started drinking my booze... (Preview) Hi there. I'm a very grateful member of Al-anon. The A in my life is my partner, she's been drinking for years but admitted to me (total suprise to me) that she is an A. Her mother was an A too. Recently she has been drinking (in "secret" in the bedroom) after work. She drinks every day (vodka), s...	jitsuka	9	494	Oct 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	moving day today, so sad (Preview) Update: The movers are coming today to take my RA's stuff to storage. I also have to mail him a key and info and am praying for no drama. [ warning: pity pot moment!] I feel so sad. The house is emptying out. I know that a relationship doesn't define us, that each individual needs to build their own life. An...	rara avis	9	679	Oct 2, 2011 by Pushka
	How much power i give my own thoughts and feelings .. (Preview) It's amazing to me how much power i give my own thoughts and feelings .. As if i really believe if i think something feel something .. it is in absolutes .. I said to someone the other night .. i feel like i'm 5 and they shot back with you never got to be 5 .. it hit me when my family moved out of the house .. brother...	MeTwo2	7	828	Oct 2, 2011 by pinkchip
	My husband will be home from rehab in a week (Preview) I'm very excited to see him but truth is I am scared to death. I'm trying to do some research on alanon meetings I really need someone to talk to about my feelings. Any good info or comments would be appreciated.	MsTonya	10	666	Oct 2, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Changes (Preview) I really gotta say if this program so works on so many different levels. It's a program that for me, I get out of it what I put into it. I can work it or not work it, it's 100% my responsibility. This past year I have put a tremendous amount of work into it and I have so much further to go. There have been some r...	Pushka	6	540	Oct 2, 2011 by hawaiilover
	So 3rd post tonight .. Very restless .. Fantasies (Preview) So ok .. 3 x's a charm .. I am so completely restless .. grieving the pain of the end of this relationship and desperately trying in my mind to come up with solutions to how to change, control, fix, n save it .. I just can't believe this person would Really walk away .. Somewhere along the lines i got it set in m...	MeTwo2	2	420	Oct 2, 2011 by hawaiilover
	he is stoned (Preview) Hi guys i am on here because I am trying to take care of me for a bit. My husband is home for the weekend. He is wanting to fix a broken bit on the car.... it has been broken for about 3 months... today he just really wanted to get to it. there is no reason. He was supposed to go and buy a part to help fix it with.....	Lindaoakford	3	628	Oct 2, 2011 by youfoundme
	those from both programs...? (Preview) Can you tell me what it was like when you wanted to be sober but just couldn't get it yet? I am just curious, and maybe curiousity killed the cat, but I just want another perspective. I have read the AA big book, so I know that from a book, but just wanted to hear some other stories... did you pitter out or q...	youfoundme	7	440	Oct 2, 2011 by youfoundme
	no secrets anymore!! feels so good!! (Preview) I haven't poted here in a while, and really haven't been going to meetings that much either, but I am taking it one day at a time and coping the best I can with my AH. Well, today I wanted to share that I am no longer keeping secrets. One of my very best friends who I wrote on here that I thought was giving me hint...	odalis	2	435	Oct 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	Lookin for help/guidance (Preview) For the last little while I thought our problems were mine and had mire to do with me then the alcohol but after some thought I believe that is just as much part of the problem. I love my Boyfriend, that I know. His drinking I have come to hate. (yes on occassion I will have a glass of wine but rarely). A li...	NeedingGuidance	2	649	Oct 2, 2011 by hawaiilover
	JADE...Just A Devine Evidence (Preview) This is conformation for me that God will do for me what I cannot do for myself. All I have to do is nurture the process and that which touches my spirit and calms it will come about. Yes I love this color of Red and then it also comes in Teal and both do the same thing for my spirit. I stand still, feel very g...	Jerry F	3	590	Oct 2, 2011 by hawaiilover
	just a misquote (Preview) I misquoted Author Unknown: You can tell the size of your God by looking at the size of your worry list. The longer your list , the smaller your God.	Hoot Nanny	1	427	Oct 1, 2011 by Jerry F
	Did I do the right thing? (Preview) This is all new to me & yet of great comfort in knowing that I am really not alone as I have found my way here. My boyfriend was a high functioning alcoholic. He got hooked on sleeping pills (unconfirmed pain killers as well) and became hooked on the meds which of course has spiraled his alcoholism in...	KeepingFaith	7	785	Oct 1, 2011 by Jerry F
	How to love.... (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8Gf4-eT3w0&ob=...	kris10	0	348	Oct 1, 2011 by kris10
	my A is a theaf..... (Preview) Today I got more money stolen out of my wallet.... Not the first time.. I absolutely HATE this... How disrespectful when he spends all of his money within 4 days on dope and then I have to take care of him the rest of the month (cigarettes, food, gas,ect.) He never pays me back in full because he already owe...	kris10	11	731	Oct 1, 2011 by kris10
	Am I getting OLD? (Preview) well...that is three posts in a row for me. I am making up for some lost time I guess. I don't have enough time to really say what is in my mind & heart. Someone said on the internet that we should log off & get a life(something to that respect anyhow) I have been known to misquote a lot. I guess I need t...	Hoot Nanny	1	349	Oct 1, 2011 by tommyecat
	a little info. (Preview) I just have a little info: some quotes I got today when looking at the internet! You can tell the size of your God by looking at the size of your worry list, the smaller your list, the bigger your God. Author Unknown. I hope I quoted that right? Apologizing: Does not always mean you're wrong & the other...	Hoot Nanny	1	363	Oct 1, 2011 by tommyecat
	mother drinks secretly (Preview) My sisters and myself know my mom is still drinking in private. She refuses to say she does even though we all know. She thinks she is smarter than every one around her, but its obvious. To add to that, she becomes very irate and takes it out on her family when confronted. What do you recommend my sist...	liar	11	998	Oct 1, 2011 by mikeco
	Reaching Out (Preview) Hi, Haven't been on or posted in a while. New job is great! I truly enjoy it and am so busy that I don't have time to worry what the Afiance is doing all afternoon (he works early shift). He swears he wants sobriety. He attends 4 hours of substance abuse classes a week. He makes notes, he has epiphanies...	NovSun	9	659	Sep 30, 2011 by rrib
	Detach with Love? (Preview) Ok, another question... what the heck is detach with love?? Detaching to me means silent treatment for fear of losing my temper. It means ignoring him while he's drunk... which results in more aggressive, hateful words from him. It means taking the dog out for a walk to get away from him and the madn...	NovSun	15	6936	Sep 30, 2011 by Lindsaysp
	I am determined! (Preview) I am determined to get this right! I have a lot to offer & will always, I mean ALWAYS be the best me I can be! I don't feel so disappointed in myself today. I am not saying that I won't be tomorrow--still a WORK IN PROGRESS! To everyone who is feeling low today: I have been there so many times I can't count o...	Hoot Nanny	2	502	Sep 30, 2011 by youfoundme
	One of my "antistressors" (Preview) Meet Chloe Jazmine! (c: Was feeling sorta, well admitting, missing ex AH. Keep thinking I gotta go see him for ME. Do not want regrets I did not go see him. Sorta made me feel lost for a bit, So I do what I do and keep busy with animals and people. Visited my friends up here and picked up this baby opossom. The p...	Debilyn	1	684	Sep 30, 2011 by youfoundme
	Living with a recovering alcoholic. (Preview) Hi. New to the group and first post. My husband is a newly recovering alcoholic. He is 30 days sober. We have been together as a couple for 5 years and married for 2 1/2 years. I moved out of our house with my 15 year old son (from a previous marriage) approximately one month ago. My husband is verbally and em...	Catbird	19	5792	Sep 30, 2011 by pinkchip
	im just being a big baby (Preview) my mum has been on the phone all night and i cant pick up- we havent been speaking since i forogt her birthday.and i did the opposite of what i usually do- i just didnt care about and then gush all over the place to try and make it up to her- as if her emotions and feelings were paramount before all else. so sin...	rosielee	14	886	Sep 30, 2011 by rosielee
	Garage Sale Blues - Opportunity to Change Thy Perspective (Preview) Hi Everyone, Our small rural city has what is called a "citywide yard sale" each year. It's this Saturday. I've lived here for over 20 years and have never particpated. But this year we decided to join in the "fun." Truly I'd rather take a beating than have this thing. But he w...	GailMichelle	6	403	Sep 29, 2011 by NovSun
	going rund and round in step one (Preview) Hi guys i think I have said that I felt like I have relapsed recently. For some delusional reason, I thought up in my own little head that my husband was going to change his smoking pot habits. He never said he would, and never even implied that he might,,, I just thought of it all by myself.. and then of cou...	Lindaoakford	9	520	Sep 29, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	books (Preview) Wow I got some money and went to Amazon to get some more books like the daily affirmations etc. $20 for three books is great.. then comes the shipping... $40 to get three books to Australia!!!! Most don't post overseas that I find, especially the cheaper second hand options. oh well.. another $60......	Lindaoakford	8	621	Sep 29, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Treading the right path (Preview) Now my life is not as enmeshed with an alcoholic partner, I have to be so careful to stay on my side of the street. One of my former co workers is up and leaving the job he has and moving across country. He has some delusion he can get unemployment when he has left his job. I'm at a place where I just have to le...	maresie	2	437	Sep 29, 2011 by Mattie
	Missed this! (Preview) Hey everyone....good to be back. Haven't had computer access for about a month! I have been on the rollercoaster of emotions, but going to a meeting about 4 times a week seems to help. I cant control anyone buy myself...what a hard lesson to learn. Anyways, I enjoyed reading all the posts that I missed a...	Corgi2	6	417	Sep 29, 2011 by tommyecat
	Spiraling over my A (Preview) I have been spiraling and obsessing for a few days and am back and forth and all over the place. My divorce was final July 19th. For whatever reason my ex AH thought he needed to call me Sunday night and let me know he slept with a woman whom he met at a local bar and told me way too much detail about it all. He had...	Breakingfree	10	767	Sep 29, 2011 by tommyecat
	Did Serenity Prayer cost me my son? (Preview) My 27 year-old addicted son we saw going downhill, and we did not let him live at home again. Through working the 12 steps for the past 3 years, I had advanced to the point that his chaotic actions did not affect me as much as in the past. Back then, I would worry alot more, and sometimes try to find him if he...	Fiddleman	22	1436	Sep 29, 2011 by hotrod
	Choices (Preview) My meeting last night was on "choices". I immediately identified with the topic as the idea of making choices, specifically in regards to arguments and fights with my wife, was one of the first concepts that I really grasped when I got involved in Al Anon about a year ago. It was so refreshin...	usedtobeanyer	8	1936	Sep 29, 2011 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.