The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Sometimes I feel like I am always letting go of something. Just somewhat trivial things like long-running TV programs. I just witnessed the last airing of All My Children--it ended very strangely. I guess I expected something else. I have been watching the show since I was a very little girl & remembering watching it w/ my late Grandma. I guess when my grandma passed, it kind of changed me a bit but the soap ending but a spin on my life in a very different way.
Sometimes I feel very insensitive when it comes to death & dying as well. Maybe I am trying to protect myself from pain. I don't really know. Letting go can be very healing for me even though it is very sad. I remember when my grandma died in 2007, I talked to my dad & I said,"DAD, I was not really close to grandma" meaning that I didn't feel as moved by her death I guess. My dad said" She is a member of your family line" or something like that & yelled at me. I have to say that my grandma was my dad's ex-mother in law. But that is neither here nor there really. I am just glad I made the trip to pay my respects & let go of whatever I needed to.
I guess what I am getting at is that letting go of people, places & things is very difficult for me. I sometimes put too much value on things. Also, memories get to me a lot. I would rather hold on for dear life. I am working on being healthier on these issues. I wish that it were a lot easier for me.
Most people in my life seem very supportive & generally generous in their love for me. I am one of the lucky ones. I guess I am blessed. I know that if the worst comes, I will have someone to fall back on & turn to for comfort.
Today is a good day, though. I have been waiting for the day to come when I have to let go of another thing in my life. I may have been a little trivial because of the fact that the show was just that--a TV show.
To all of you who feel a sense of loss today, I hope you feel comforted. I know that as long as I have someone & my HP I am not alone. I truly am blessed.
I can relate Kathleen I think I hold onto things, inanimate objects, way too much. I had to sell a car of mine and I cried for two days. I think it is part ofthe grieving that I did not get to do over a childhood i did not understand. I can't grieve over the correct losses, so I grieve over tiny small things. I often fear if I allow myslef to feel fully about the right things, that I will become a crumbling mess on the floor rocking (it has happened) so again... you are not alone in this
