The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
As you may remember, I just got back from holidays with my husband. For the holidays I had a 'straight' husband. All the issues that I thought would happen, didn't happen.
Basically he didn't get the opportunity to smoke because none of my friends do, and my sisters birthday proved that she has ceased the substances because usually it would be there and it wasn't.
Anyway. The day we got home, friends of his drove up from Alice Springs before flying out to Bali the next day. As they are his friends, they all smoke pot so he smoked with them. Also, his friend has left thier car at our house with the stash in the car and my husband has been given free reign to smoke what he wants.
Also, he has his own 'synthetic' stuff still.
While we were away, I didn't harp on about his smoking, I didn't take the opportunity to have a 'D and M' with him, I just had our holiday. We went to a spiritual healer (my HP beliefs), and she told him to stop smoking!!! The first words out of her mouth to him were "you have changed your life, it is so much better now that it was" (compared to him smoking an ounce a fortnight I agree).
I came home with the hope that the break, the healing, and my lack of nagging, may have precipitated a change????
I can feel that old anxiety rising in me. He told me yesterday about the dope in the car if I ever thought to use that car just so I would know. He said he would move it if I was uncomfortable. I said no, to leave it where it was. I asked if he intended to smoke much of it and he said that he probably would have some, he had noticed when he smoked the 'real stuff' it was different and he liked it more than the synthetic. I thought for a moment and voiced my concerns. I said "I am a bit worried that you will smoke it, get the taste for it back, buy some, and then it is in our house all the time again, and this a worry"
He didn't answer and just looked at me in a sheepish kind of way.
I can smell change in the air, I know the spirits are trying to help us both. I am hoping he will listen to them.
I just have to wait and see what happens with loving detachment. Nothing I can say or do will change the outcome so I will do my best to just allow the universe to do what it has to do. Show me what will happen. If this isn't the time for change for the better, if this triggers another change for the worst... I guess I have been given my answer haven't I.
I don't feel like I am walking on eggshells, I feel a bit like I am standing at a bus stop waiting to see what bus comes along next, and if it will be the one I want to get on.
How wonderful that you are enjoying your time with your husband and do have a type of peace in your life.... you seem to be thankful for your life as is right now and living it a day at a time. ((((hugs)))
You're also changing Linda O...sounding more serene and hopeful and better to deal with life on life's terms. Thanks for the share. It's a keeper. ((((Hugs))))
i think your husband has the love affair with the pot- ive seen this before- it makes them ill but they cant see it as they are in love with it and thinks it good. i think in time he is going to realise that h enjoys it but it makes him feel like crap- takes his energy away- always makes him think cloudy..... lets just hope he sees some light about it sooner rather than later ! x
when i was younger and working as a croupier in a casino- i had flat mates- these boys who used to wake me up with the stuff- and encourage me to smoke it all day and night- i did it for the laugh- but when i move out- and people started telling me how much better i looked- i realised how much what a bunch of crap that stuff it is and i never went back to it!
