Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

smzele · smzele

My husband just admitted to me that he had been using Heroin all day yesterday (for the first time). This admission comes after I continued to ask him about his tracked and bruised arms. He continues longtime suffering from alcoholism and prescription opiate Dependancy. He has been on a 14 month long...

debbiems · debbiems

I am being pressured by my AS to give him money so he can take this girl on a "date" . #1 I don't believe him that it is for a date. #2. I truely have no money to give him. I told him "no" and he won't let it go. He was in his room texting me and just keeps it going . He is so desprete that he ask...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Well.. I took a day off work Friday for a spiritual day. Every sign I fell upon was my HP telling me that it is okay to live a little. As in I heard this tale of a man who asks a monk... "If I meditate for 6 hours a day how soon will I reach spiritual enlightenment?" The monk responds "ten yea...

John · John

[vide

sarebaer · sarebaer

Last night my friend's ah shot and killed her while her two babies slept! This is so unreal, such a tragedy. I know she was trying to separate herself from him but was torn because of the kids, and had said he was "rarely" violent. There were so many red flags, and I tried to be there for her when s...

HoofnIt · HoofnIt

I have told my Abf several times now that if he drinks do not come home just stay with who ever you are drinking with. But every night he drinks and then drives home or calls me to come get him. Well I am done with it. I am serious I do not want him in my house if he has been drinking. Its eaither drink or live here...

NumbandAngry · NumbandAngry

My mother is an alcoholic. She has had serveral relapses since first getting sober when I was 15. I am now 35, I am married, have three great kids. My mom lived with us for about 7 years and in Jan 2011 moved into her own apartment, my two youngest, ages 8 and 9, spend most weekends with her. Until last n...

stephaniej · stephaniej

This weekend was my husband's weekend. Last night we went to a concert (tickets were my Xmas gift to him), and today he went to a fan convention for his favorite sports team (tickets were the kids' Xmas gift to him). We had a great time at the concert, and he had a wonderful time at the convention today. ...

SnowRavenX · SnowRavenX

My alcoholic roommate "Ron" is a good friend and has been living with us for 6 months. Ron and I both rent rooms from my best (and lifelong) friend "James" who owns the house, and there is no written lease for either of us. We are all 30 yr old bachelors. Previously, James and I lived...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, Just wanted to say that I've been doing a lot of writing lately [ big presentation ] hence I have not felt like writing much besides that. So I've been lurking, been reading a lot of posts, nodding or shaking my head where appropriate, and have wanted to send support to every single one...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

For those of you who may remember.... I was a little concerned and really employed the One Day At A Time thing this weekend. I thought my husband would contact friends of his who are in town due to a personal family medical emergency. They are major pot smokers. I decided that no matter what, I have thing...

Pushka · Pushka

sparky60 · sparky60

My siginificant other and I joined forces in business almost 4 years ago. She's the licensed professional, and I'm the marketing guy. Despite her 4th stage alcoholism, we've been able to grow the business successfully, and we're set to have the best year ever. I finally became wise enough to try alan...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

Regardless of whether I turn right or turn left, I will still end up where I need to be. It's OK to enjoy the journey and stop worrying about the destination. Looking back at my life, everything was leading to me being right where I am now. I took a lot of different turns, but I still ended up here. And here...

danni · danni

First of all, thanks everyone for all your support. It was immensely helpful. My AH came home last night. He called in the afternoon, and I told him I was uncomfortable not knowing where he was and what his plan was. He said he was coming home. So he did, gave me a hug, said he missed us, and i felt...su...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Hi All, I jus0t got re-connected with my Internet provider. It's been around 3 weeks without service. First, my laptop had to be sent to Dell for repair. Coffee, cream and sugar were accidently spilt on it. That took about 2 and a half weeks to get it back and $360 (ouch!) Then, my re-connection was de...

Peace33 · Peace33

Hello everyone...I'm new to the forum & am so happy to have found it! It's so frustrating when people don't unstand what you're going through. I tried an Al-Anon meeting once, about 4 yrs ago. But, I didn't think it was for me. I had a hard time w/ it because it made me feel like I was the alcoholic....

Peace33 · Peace33

I'm going to my sister's to do her hair soon & I don't know what expression to have on my face, or how to behave anymore! We've been through this rollercoaster so many times, I'm confused between trying to do the right thing & of knowing how to help her & myself. I'm tired of having to walk on...

AusRat · AusRat

Hi all. This is my first post and I am new to Alanon (5 weeks). I don't have a sponsor as yet to ask this question. Although I was uncomfortable with it, I left my fiancé to drink with my work friends at a barbecue last night whilst I went to work. She is aware that situation makes me uncomfortable and upon lea...

Yllek · Yllek

Readers Digest version: Been in Alanon since 2003, changed my life in so many positive ways (I should write a book), have an active healthy life. Married a terrific guy Dec 2010, have a dream honeymoon, happy life on our busy little ranch, perfect right! Oct 2011, I am at a stop in my little corolla waiti...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am open to the posibilities today. I hope for only the best & sometimes expect the worst. The program has taught me to face fears & accept the things I cannot change. I have noticed that lately there are a lot of things I cannot change. The are no absolutes in this that I can see. The only thing con...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

ok, I got hold of a few facebook photos to put onhere. I have chosen things that make me smile today...... My big cat's name is Colin and he is now 13 years old. the big black dog is my husbands dog and she is not allowed near the little ones or she will eat them.... the flowers are a sample of the type of thing...

odalis · odalis

Although I have accepted my AH is SICK. He is mentally sick and he is an alcoholic. My neighbor just had a baby. He wants to act all lovey dovey with me and start talking about how nice it would be to have a baby at home. Ababy of our own. I just feel so angry with him I want to cry. Angry that we couldn't have one m...

danni · danni

After expressing that he felt overwhelmed and lost, my occasionally drinking AH said he wanted to take a break for a few days. I said (I was prepared this time) , "if that's what you feel you need to do". I used to plead and talk him into staying. So within half an hour he left. He woudn't tell me w...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

As I am sitting here I don't have a plan what I want to say. I noticed today that my family ties are really severed. I guess if I want to I can piece them back together. I am only responsible for what I can do these days. I have a cousin who I would like to reconnect w/ some day. I have family who seems distant at so...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Starting my intern next week and have one class to take on the side to accompany it. I'm having a hard time going back to finish college; I took a year off that was Much needed. Now, however, I am looking at things and recognising I have to work for someone. I am still dealing with the area of authority figur...

KLotus · KLotus

Thank you to all who've responded. You are amazing. Truly. Below are answers to some questions, and an update about an incident last night To answer some questions: My AH went into rehab last May-June. He got out, did some AA for about 8 weeks (at best), and ditched. Then he went to couseling, ditc...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

The other day I wrote a post on how do i end things. Should I visit him or not. I already mentally prepared myself that this relationship is over. After a year of cheating, lying and instance of physical abuse and taking a hard hit financially with this person and sticking with him through the 1t time in ja...

glad lee · glad lee

Recovery is civil war, but it is a war that can be won. --Sister Imelda How often do we hear people say, "Sure, I know it's the right thing to do - but it's easier said than done!'' But "it," whatever "it" is for each of us, is actually easier done than not done. As hard as it is t...

stopandchat · stopandchat

I have really regressed in my recovery. I hate my soon-to-be ex-AH so much, and I am so full of resentments. I've been going to extra meetings, but it hasn't really helped yet. I posted before that I am divorcing my AH. He's been clean for about 15 months, but not really working a program of recovery. And,...

GettingStronger · GettingStronger

After 2 years of living apart, ultimately ending in divorce, my ex-husband still begs me to give him another chance. We struggled through 8 years of dealing with his drinking before his violent rampages sent bricks and benches through my windows while I rushed to hide with our 3 yr old. After a DUI he w...

LostToday · LostToday

I've been lurking here for some time, but this is my first post. There is quite a lot of wisdom here, and I'm in need of a reality check. My addict husband has been clean for a year now. A lot of progress has been made. But lately he has been doing little things that bring up an incredible amount of rage i...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I am in a strange place today. A few things have happened over the last few days. 1. Lots of little niggly things have gone wrong like lost passwords, internet access problems, large loan payments going wrong meaning visits to banks etc (more debt for me!!!), phone not working properly.... you know t...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Yes, I have a 'but' up there. I'm nervous and don't know what to expect. If my husband can't take my son to tennis practice tomorrow night, then I won't be able to go but if I can get him to take him then I can go. So, that's part of the 'but', too. Anyway, I think I really need to go. He's out with some tenni...

John · John

LMAO... just wanted to see how many of you would click it as a subject line. Okay, I'll get serious now... Did you hear on the news about the kid that overdosed on his dad's Viagra? They had to rush him to the emerency room.. He had second degree burns on both hands! Gotcha! I truly hope everyone is starti...

amills4294 · amills4294

Last night, while my spouse and daughter were out, I called my parents. It's rare that I do that because my alcoholic mom can barely hear over the phone and she makes you repeat everything and she never wants a discussion she just wants to talk about her ailments. She drinks heavily every night and the...

manty · manty

Ok, I'm not what I'm doing here...but someone(my mother) told me I should try something for myself...I've been clean and sober for 10 years. My husband sober for 9 years...In the last 2 years he starting smoking pot and working for his brother's caregiver service(marijauna grower) I've been the mo...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have to let go & move on. I did go to the meeting on Tuesday & it went pretty well. My sponsor gave me my Alanon coin & I was moved by that & the meeting. I was almost the last one who shared. I guess I did a pretty good job of holding back but I had to share my feelings. I mentioned my dad of cours...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

These three subjects seem to be all merging together for me today .. I recognised this week that keeping my feelings in and not sharing on them makes them poisonous Secrets and that we are As as in equally as sick as our secrets .. My feelings through the years have literally been hurt not as in boohoo feel...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... Last Night I went to a Much Needed Meeting... It was Awesome... One of the Biggest I had been at in a while, so Of Course My "Expectation" was that people would be climbing over each other to speak...lol... Jozie---- No Expectations!!! NOTED! We Started with the Book "How Al-a...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, last night I was consumed by anger and the passive aggressive side of me came out. I tried to stay up on purpose to irritate him because I knew he was planning on continuing to drink after I went to bed. Finally I fell asleep at 2 AM and he left the room. I don't know if he drank or not but I made a snarky co...

TLD · TLD

I think I just need to vent or put this in writing in order to think it through properly and was hoping for some support. I think i'm just about done in this relationship as it is filled with lies, deceipt and a lack of respect. He continues to lie, has stopped going to meetings, thinks he can hide stuff fro...

KLotus · KLotus

Last week I made it clear to my AH that I didn't trust him, and that I did not want to sign a loan or a purchase agreement to get the small house for my mom (so that he can pay himself, and get an asset). He could manipulate that situation any way he likes. However, he has brought it up a few times since then, in...

Overcome · Overcome

I wanted to share with my MIP family what I posted in my journal today. This journal posting will give you some insight into what I've been struggling with lately. I might add that my ex-AH has been sober for 2 1/2 years with a relapse when we divorced and a period of sobriety before that of 3 years. He is not...

debbiems · debbiems

So my husband is very angry with how I speak to our AS, "I am to nice to him and go out of my way to talk to him" " I try to act like everything is ok" I was side blinded by this. It came out very angry. I was able to keep my self together and told my husband that he should only be concerned of hi...

Debilyn · Debilyn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahv_1IS7SiE&feature=player_embedded

likemyheart · likemyheart

My ex-ah called yesterday, he'd been away from his home (a travel trailer) to play at a pool tournament; he was away for two days. He got home to discover that thieves had broken into his tiny home and trashed whatever they didn't steal. His stereo, tv, movies, guns, dad's guns, compound bow, etc. all go...

Jozie · Jozie

Yea know I never really understood My Need for Addictions... Plus I Never really Thought I had that Many...lol... Boy Am I Learning... As Most Know Last Year I kicked Alcohol to the Curb, it took great will power to be strong enough to continue my life as I live, and still go to partys & get togethers t...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Hi! I'm new to the board using this name, I changed because I've been encouraging my sis. to use this board and I wanted to remain anonymous. Anyway, my 2 adult children are A/As, their father was an A/A, my 2nd husband was a R/A, 21 of the 23yrs we were married, he passed in 06. I've been dating a man who lo...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

While we were away in Cairns, a friend of my husbands (a couple who have since become friends of both of us) rang my phone and I asked my husband to answer to talk to her (them). She said that her husbands daughter (previous relationship daughter) had been flown to our hospital in Darwin from Alice Spring...

HoofnIt · HoofnIt

I have looked in to f2f al-anon meetings in my area and all of them seem to be joined mettings with AA. I dont know how that works or if it would be a good idea. Do you let your A know that you are going to al-anon, reading the books, going on the fourms, or any of that? If not and they find out how do you respond? Th...

MelB · MelB

Today is a new day! Yesterday I made a mistake and today I can feel myself trying to start a new streak of well managed behavior. I know he's in group, I do believe it. I just can't help but want to pick up the phone an text him. I want toCONSTANTLY talk to him. Today though, I'm going to work on me. Maybe work...

Iris lover of dogs · Iris lover of dogs

I read something yesterday on the message board that made me think - something about when you are codependent, a good day is when you catch your AH in the act, doing something wrong. This rung a bell with me, because often times when my AH has betrayed my trust (again), I am hurt, furious, and then . . . a s...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

My daughter is 13 and amazingly wise and talented. We had a talk about why her father was behaving the way he was and at the end we were laughing and she walked away saying choose better next time. I laughed so hard over this. I believe I have broken the cycle and her awareness is so great already, between co...

nnn · nnn

Hello all, I'm brand new to the board and don't know where to start with Al-Anon. I'm hoping someone can give me some guidance. I'm a recent college graduate with divorced parents. I'm also an only child (son). My father has struggled with alcoholism for a long time, but managed to conceal it fairly wel...

MelB · MelB

I'm taking my inventory early tonight. I have lots of things that are swimming around inside my head. I started my new semester of school and it's made it easier to deal with the lack of "whatever" I'm looking for. I always want to put "love" there but really I do know I'm loved by my...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

At my home meeting tonight, one of the questions was, "How have you grown and matured?" Earlier in the day, while taking a walk at lunchime, it occurred to me that I haven't taken a Xanax (prescription for anxiety) in the past six months. My doctor prescribed it to "take the edge off&qu...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

...is that my children might start learning how to use the tools, too. I don't preach 12-Steps at home because I'm not qualified to preach anything. I can only share my own ESH. But, without knowing it, I have started living the program with progress not perfection. Today, in a moment of dismay over my...

Pushka · Pushka

LOL .. I know we are already into the new year however push has come to shove at this point and I'm actually pretty ticked off at the moment as well as massively hurt. Feelings aren't facts so I'm trying not to make any major decisions at this point and time. I am very angry. I feel deceived, let down and h...

Not Alone · Not Alone

Well, ABF left last week - at my request. He is struggling with it. We met over the weekend and I explained that we both need to work on ourselves and that there is no possible way we can do that when being together. He needs a lot of help - he knows this but I'm not sure he's ready for that step. I have spent a ye...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	keeping secrets of the one who's sick (Preview) My husband just admitted to me that he had been using Heroin all day yesterday (for the first time). This admission comes after I continued to ask him about his tracked and bruised arms. He continues longtime suffering from alcoholism and prescription opiate Dependancy. He has been on a 14 month long...	smzele	15	1164	Jan 17, 2012 by Michelle814
	holding to my boundries (Preview) I am being pressured by my AS to give him money so he can take this girl on a "date" . #1 I don't believe him that it is for a date. #2. I truely have no money to give him. I told him "no" and he won't let it go. He was in his room texting me and just keeps it going . He is so desprete that he ask...	debbiems	5	516	Jan 17, 2012 by pinkchip
	The Storm is Passing (Preview) Well.. I took a day off work Friday for a spiritual day. Every sign I fell upon was my HP telling me that it is okay to live a little. As in I heard this tale of a man who asks a monk... "If I meditate for 6 hours a day how soon will I reach spiritual enlightenment?" The monk responds "ten yea...	Michelle814	6	533	Jan 17, 2012 by Jackie11
	Learning How to Live (by Beth Hart) (Preview) [vide	John	5	978	Jan 17, 2012 by GailMichelle
	Senseless loss. Prayers please! (Preview) Last night my friend's ah shot and killed her while her two babies slept! This is so unreal, such a tragedy. I know she was trying to separate herself from him but was torn because of the kids, and had said he was "rarely" violent. There were so many red flags, and I tried to be there for her when s...	sarebaer	9	486	Jan 17, 2012 by Grace7
	how to word it. (Preview) I have told my Abf several times now that if he drinks do not come home just stay with who ever you are drinking with. But every night he drinks and then drives home or calls me to come get him. Well I am done with it. I am serious I do not want him in my house if he has been drinking. Its eaither drink or live here...	HoofnIt	10	559	Jan 16, 2012 by Yllek
	Don't know how to explain to my kids (Preview) My mother is an alcoholic. She has had serveral relapses since first getting sober when I was 15. I am now 35, I am married, have three great kids. My mom lived with us for about 7 years and in Jan 2011 moved into her own apartment, my two youngest, ages 8 and 9, spend most weekends with her. Until last n...	NumbandAngry	4	364	Jan 16, 2012 by Breakingfree
	In Crisis (Preview) This weekend was my husband's weekend. Last night we went to a concert (tickets were my Xmas gift to him), and today he went to a fan convention for his favorite sports team (tickets were the kids' Xmas gift to him). We had a great time at the concert, and he had a wonderful time at the convention today. ...	stephaniej	15	710	Jan 16, 2012 by stephaniej
	Can I ask my alcoholic unemployed roommate to leave within 3 weeks? (Preview) My alcoholic roommate "Ron" is a good friend and has been living with us for 6 months. Ron and I both rent rooms from my best (and lifelong) friend "James" who owns the house, and there is no written lease for either of us. We are all 30 yr old bachelors. Previously, James and I lived...	SnowRavenX	5	1125	Jan 16, 2012 by Debilyn
	hugs to you all, haven't dropped off the face of the earth! (Preview) Hey everybody, Just wanted to say that I've been doing a lot of writing lately [ big presentation ] hence I have not felt like writing much besides that. So I've been lurking, been reading a lot of posts, nodding or shaking my head where appropriate, and have wanted to send support to every single one...	rara avis	4	403	Jan 16, 2012 by rara avis
	update from the weekend (Preview) For those of you who may remember.... I was a little concerned and really employed the One Day At A Time thing this weekend. I thought my husband would contact friends of his who are in town due to a personal family medical emergency. They are major pot smokers. I decided that no matter what, I have thing...	Lindaoakford	3	437	Jan 16, 2012 by Debilyn
	No internet can respond to posts cant start any it's on my en (Preview)	Pushka	5	575	Jan 16, 2012 by Jackie11
	How do I detatch and not take us both down? (Preview) My siginificant other and I joined forces in business almost 4 years ago. She's the licensed professional, and I'm the marketing guy. Despite her 4th stage alcoholism, we've been able to grow the business successfully, and we're set to have the best year ever. I finally became wise enough to try alan...	sparky60	5	673	Jan 16, 2012 by abbyal
	A comforting thought I keep coming back to... (Preview) Regardless of whether I turn right or turn left, I will still end up where I need to be. It's OK to enjoy the journey and stop worrying about the destination. Looking back at my life, everything was leading to me being right where I am now. I took a lot of different turns, but I still ended up here. And here...	Very Very Tired	5	550	Jan 15, 2012 by maryjane
	Update (Preview) First of all, thanks everyone for all your support. It was immensely helpful. My AH came home last night. He called in the afternoon, and I told him I was uncomfortable not knowing where he was and what his plan was. He said he was coming home. So he did, gave me a hug, said he missed us, and i felt...su...	danni	7	404	Jan 15, 2012 by danni
	Life Without the Internet (Preview) Hi All, I jus0t got re-connected with my Internet provider. It's been around 3 weeks without service. First, my laptop had to be sent to Dell for repair. Coffee, cream and sugar were accidently spilt on it. That took about 2 and a half weeks to get it back and $360 (ouch!) Then, my re-connection was de...	GailMichelle	2	322	Jan 15, 2012 by Pushka
	How do you "let go" when a child is involved?? (Preview) Hello everyone...I'm new to the forum & am so happy to have found it! It's so frustrating when people don't unstand what you're going through. I tried an Al-Anon meeting once, about 4 yrs ago. But, I didn't think it was for me. I had a hard time w/ it because it made me feel like I was the alcoholic....	Peace33	7	1663	Jan 15, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Help! Confused about how to be around her... (Preview) I'm going to my sister's to do her hair soon & I don't know what expression to have on my face, or how to behave anymore! We've been through this rollercoaster so many times, I'm confused between trying to do the right thing & of knowing how to help her & myself. I'm tired of having to walk on...	Peace33	6	483	Jan 14, 2012 by Debilyn
	My fiance drinks too much (Preview) Hi all. This is my first post and I am new to Alanon (5 weeks). I don't have a sponsor as yet to ask this question. Although I was uncomfortable with it, I left my fiancé to drink with my work friends at a barbecue last night whilst I went to work. She is aware that situation makes me uncomfortable and upon lea...	AusRat	8	628	Jan 14, 2012 by Yllek
	Whose BOAT is it anyway? (Preview) Readers Digest version: Been in Alanon since 2003, changed my life in so many positive ways (I should write a book), have an active healthy life. Married a terrific guy Dec 2010, have a dream honeymoon, happy life on our busy little ranch, perfect right! Oct 2011, I am at a stop in my little corolla waiti...	Yllek	12	772	Jan 14, 2012 by Yllek
	no nonsense; just me! (Preview) I am open to the posibilities today. I hope for only the best & sometimes expect the worst. The program has taught me to face fears & accept the things I cannot change. I have noticed that lately there are a lot of things I cannot change. The are no absolutes in this that I can see. The only thing con...	Hoot Nanny	0	370	Jan 14, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	gratitude list in pictorial form (Preview) ok, I got hold of a few facebook photos to put onhere. I have chosen things that make me smile today...... My big cat's name is Colin and he is now 13 years old. the big black dog is my husbands dog and she is not allowed near the little ones or she will eat them.... the flowers are a sample of the type of thing...	Lindaoakford	13	1851	Jan 14, 2012 by nortski
	Fellng kind of bitter and angry today! (Preview) Although I have accepted my AH is SICK. He is mentally sick and he is an alcoholic. My neighbor just had a baby. He wants to act all lovey dovey with me and start talking about how nice it would be to have a baby at home. Ababy of our own. I just feel so angry with him I want to cry. Angry that we couldn't have one m...	odalis	5	568	Jan 14, 2012 by Pushka
	AH took off for a few days (Preview) After expressing that he felt overwhelmed and lost, my occasionally drinking AH said he wanted to take a break for a few days. I said (I was prepared this time) , "if that's what you feel you need to do". I used to plead and talk him into staying. So within half an hour he left. He woudn't tell me w...	danni	9	681	Jan 14, 2012 by Debilyn
	hope it gets better... (Preview) As I am sitting here I don't have a plan what I want to say. I noticed today that my family ties are really severed. I guess if I want to I can piece them back together. I am only responsible for what I can do these days. I have a cousin who I would like to reconnect w/ some day. I have family who seems distant at so...	Hoot Nanny	1	356	Jan 14, 2012 by Debilyn
	Authority Figures (Preview) Starting my intern next week and have one class to take on the side to accompany it. I'm having a hard time going back to finish college; I took a year off that was Much needed. Now, however, I am looking at things and recognising I have to work for someone. I am still dealing with the area of authority figur...	MeTwo2	4	547	Jan 14, 2012 by Debilyn
	More Update (Preview) Thank you to all who've responded. You are amazing. Truly. Below are answers to some questions, and an update about an incident last night To answer some questions: My AH went into rehab last May-June. He got out, did some AA for about 8 weeks (at best), and ditched. Then he went to couseling, ditc...	KLotus	5	568	Jan 14, 2012 by likemyheart
	The start of step 1! Finally put an end to living his addiciton! Refuse to live this way! (Preview) The other day I wrote a post on how do i end things. Should I visit him or not. I already mentally prepared myself that this relationship is over. After a year of cheating, lying and instance of physical abuse and taking a hard hit financially with this person and sticking with him through the 1t time in ja...	Julie3310	6	580	Jan 13, 2012 by Iris lover of dogs
	How to like ourselves more.... (Preview) Recovery is civil war, but it is a war that can be won. --Sister Imelda How often do we hear people say, "Sure, I know it's the right thing to do - but it's easier said than done!'' But "it," whatever "it" is for each of us, is actually easier done than not done. As hard as it is t...	glad lee	5	517	Jan 13, 2012 by Iris lover of dogs
	Consumed with hate for my AH (Preview) I have really regressed in my recovery. I hate my soon-to-be ex-AH so much, and I am so full of resentments. I've been going to extra meetings, but it hasn't really helped yet. I posted before that I am divorcing my AH. He's been clean for about 15 months, but not really working a program of recovery. And,...	stopandchat	21	744	Jan 13, 2012 by likemyheart
	Will I ever find the trust? (Preview) After 2 years of living apart, ultimately ending in divorce, my ex-husband still begs me to give him another chance. We struggled through 8 years of dealing with his drinking before his violent rampages sent bricks and benches through my windows while I rushed to hide with our 3 yr old. After a DUI he w...	GettingStronger	10	600	Jan 13, 2012 by GettingStronger
	Need Reality Check (Preview) I've been lurking here for some time, but this is my first post. There is quite a lot of wisdom here, and I'm in need of a reality check. My addict husband has been clean for a year now. A lot of progress has been made. But lately he has been doing little things that bring up an incredible amount of rage i...	LostToday	3	469	Jan 13, 2012 by LostToday
	selfish emotions (Preview) I am in a strange place today. A few things have happened over the last few days. 1. Lots of little niggly things have gone wrong like lost passwords, internet access problems, large loan payments going wrong meaning visits to banks etc (more debt for me!!!), phone not working properly.... you know t...	Lindaoakford	7	411	Jan 13, 2012 by Jennifer
	Want to go to a meeting tomorrow but..... (Preview) Yes, I have a 'but' up there. I'm nervous and don't know what to expect. If my husband can't take my son to tennis practice tomorrow night, then I won't be able to go but if I can get him to take him then I can go. So, that's part of the 'but', too. Anyway, I think I really need to go. He's out with some tenni...	ilovedogs	5	691	Jan 13, 2012 by ilovedogs
	SEX! (Preview) LMAO... just wanted to see how many of you would click it as a subject line. Okay, I'll get serious now... Did you hear on the news about the kid that overdosed on his dad's Viagra? They had to rush him to the emerency room.. He had second degree burns on both hands! Gotcha! I truly hope everyone is starti...	John	7	735	Jan 13, 2012 by MeTwo2
	Dealing with an alcoholic parent's disapproval - as an adult (Preview) Last night, while my spouse and daughter were out, I called my parents. It's rare that I do that because my alcoholic mom can barely hear over the phone and she makes you repeat everything and she never wants a discussion she just wants to talk about her ailments. She drinks heavily every night and the...	amills4294	4	490	Jan 13, 2012 by Jerry F
	i'm sure (Preview) Ok, I'm not what I'm doing here...but someone(my mother) told me I should try something for myself...I've been clean and sober for 10 years. My husband sober for 9 years...In the last 2 years he starting smoking pot and working for his brother's caregiver service(marijauna grower) I've been the mo...	manty	11	696	Jan 13, 2012 by Jerry F
	have to let go! (Preview) I have to let go & move on. I did go to the meeting on Tuesday & it went pretty well. My sponsor gave me my Alanon coin & I was moved by that & the meeting. I was almost the last one who shared. I guess I did a pretty good job of holding back but I had to share my feelings. I mentioned my dad of cours...	Hoot Nanny	1	363	Jan 13, 2012 by Jerry F
	feelings/parenting/powerlessness (Preview) These three subjects seem to be all merging together for me today .. I recognised this week that keeping my feelings in and not sharing on them makes them poisonous Secrets and that we are As as in equally as sick as our secrets .. My feelings through the years have literally been hurt not as in boohoo feel...	MeTwo2	4	543	Jan 12, 2012 by MeTwo2
	Climbing the Ladder to Recovery... (Preview) Welp... Last Night I went to a Much Needed Meeting... It was Awesome... One of the Biggest I had been at in a while, so Of Course My "Expectation" was that people would be climbing over each other to speak...lol... Jozie---- No Expectations!!! NOTED! We Started with the Book "How Al-a...	Jozie	3	1144	Jan 12, 2012 by Pushka
	I opened my big 'ol mouth (Preview) So, last night I was consumed by anger and the passive aggressive side of me came out. I tried to stay up on purpose to irritate him because I knew he was planning on continuing to drink after I went to bed. Finally I fell asleep at 2 AM and he left the room. I don't know if he drank or not but I made a snarky co...	ilovedogs	6	487	Jan 12, 2012 by Pushka
	Just about done with this (Preview) I think I just need to vent or put this in writing in order to think it through properly and was hoping for some support. I think i'm just about done in this relationship as it is filled with lies, deceipt and a lack of respect. He continues to lie, has stopped going to meetings, thinks he can hide stuff fro...	TLD	5	561	Jan 12, 2012 by Pushka
	Update (Preview) Last week I made it clear to my AH that I didn't trust him, and that I did not want to sign a loan or a purchase agreement to get the small house for my mom (so that he can pay himself, and get an asset). He could manipulate that situation any way he likes. However, he has brought it up a few times since then, in...	KLotus	9	410	Jan 12, 2012 by Pushka
	Listening to Chris Young's "Tomorrow" (Preview) I wanted to share with my MIP family what I posted in my journal today. This journal posting will give you some insight into what I've been struggling with lately. I might add that my ex-AH has been sober for 2 1/2 years with a relapse when we divorced and a period of sobriety before that of 3 years. He is not...	Overcome	2	502	Jan 12, 2012 by Overcome
	confused (Preview) So my husband is very angry with how I speak to our AS, "I am to nice to him and go out of my way to talk to him" " I try to act like everything is ok" I was side blinded by this. It came out very angry. I was able to keep my self together and told my husband that he should only be concerned of hi...	debbiems	1	324	Jan 12, 2012 by Debilyn
	Thoughts of now and then (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahv_1IS7SiE&feature=player_embedded	Debilyn	7	585	Jan 12, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Horrible Happening (Preview) My ex-ah called yesterday, he'd been away from his home (a travel trailer) to play at a pool tournament; he was away for two days. He got home to discover that thieves had broken into his tiny home and trashed whatever they didn't steal. His stereo, tv, movies, guns, dad's guns, compound bow, etc. all go...	likemyheart	7	443	Jan 12, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Addiction #999 (Preview) Yea know I never really understood My Need for Addictions... Plus I Never really Thought I had that Many...lol... Boy Am I Learning... As Most Know Last Year I kicked Alcohol to the Curb, it took great will power to be strong enough to continue my life as I live, and still go to partys & get togethers t...	Jozie	2	421	Jan 12, 2012 by Jozie
	Confused (Preview) Hi! I'm new to the board using this name, I changed because I've been encouraging my sis. to use this board and I wanted to remain anonymous. Anyway, my 2 adult children are A/As, their father was an A/A, my 2nd husband was a R/A, 21 of the 23yrs we were married, he passed in 06. I've been dating a man who lo...	Highlyfavored	1	331	Jan 12, 2012 by Mattie
	is this passive aggressive on my part? (Preview) While we were away in Cairns, a friend of my husbands (a couple who have since become friends of both of us) rang my phone and I asked my husband to answer to talk to her (them). She said that her husbands daughter (previous relationship daughter) had been flown to our hospital in Darwin from Alice Spring...	Lindaoakford	11	461	Jan 11, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	A few things (Preview) I have looked in to f2f al-anon meetings in my area and all of them seem to be joined mettings with AA. I dont know how that works or if it would be a good idea. Do you let your A know that you are going to al-anon, reading the books, going on the fourms, or any of that? If not and they find out how do you respond? Th...	HoofnIt	3	624	Jan 11, 2012 by canadianguy
	New Day! (Preview) Today is a new day! Yesterday I made a mistake and today I can feel myself trying to start a new streak of well managed behavior. I know he's in group, I do believe it. I just can't help but want to pick up the phone an text him. I want toCONSTANTLY talk to him. Today though, I'm going to work on me. Maybe work...	MelB	3	288	Jan 11, 2012 by MelB
	Self psychoanalysis an imperfect science (Preview) I read something yesterday on the message board that made me think - something about when you are codependent, a good day is when you catch your AH in the act, doing something wrong. This rung a bell with me, because often times when my AH has betrayed my trust (again), I am hurt, furious, and then . . . a s...	Iris lover of dogs	7	427	Jan 11, 2012 by Iris lover of dogs
	My own daughter told me to choose better next time! (Preview) My daughter is 13 and amazingly wise and talented. We had a talk about why her father was behaving the way he was and at the end we were laughing and she walked away saying choose better next time. I laughed so hard over this. I believe I have broken the cycle and her awareness is so great already, between co...	Breakingfree	7	488	Jan 11, 2012 by danni
	Advice Concerning Father's Secretive Substance Abuse (Preview) Hello all, I'm brand new to the board and don't know where to start with Al-Anon. I'm hoping someone can give me some guidance. I'm a recent college graduate with divorced parents. I'm also an only child (son). My father has struggled with alcoholism for a long time, but managed to conceal it fairly wel...	nnn	3	357	Jan 11, 2012 by Jozie
	My slip up=My inventory (Preview) I'm taking my inventory early tonight. I have lots of things that are swimming around inside my head. I started my new semester of school and it's made it easier to deal with the lack of "whatever" I'm looking for. I always want to put "love" there but really I do know I'm loved by my...	MelB	3	418	Jan 11, 2012 by Jozie
	Al-Anon is my Drug of Choice (Preview) At my home meeting tonight, one of the questions was, "How have you grown and matured?" Earlier in the day, while taking a walk at lunchime, it occurred to me that I haven't taken a Xanax (prescription for anxiety) in the past six months. My doctor prescribed it to "take the edge off&qu...	Green Eyes	7	650	Jan 11, 2012 by Jozie
	The "danger" of the program... (Preview) ...is that my children might start learning how to use the tools, too. I don't preach 12-Steps at home because I'm not qualified to preach anything. I can only share my own ESH. But, without knowing it, I have started living the program with progress not perfection. Today, in a moment of dismay over my...	Very Very Tired	5	595	Jan 11, 2012 by Very Very Tired
	New Year (Preview) LOL .. I know we are already into the new year however push has come to shove at this point and I'm actually pretty ticked off at the moment as well as massively hurt. Feelings aren't facts so I'm trying not to make any major decisions at this point and time. I am very angry. I feel deceived, let down and h...	Pushka	6	542	Jan 10, 2012 by Pushka
	now what? (Preview) Well, ABF left last week - at my request. He is struggling with it. We met over the weekend and I explained that we both need to work on ourselves and that there is no possible way we can do that when being together. He needs a lot of help - he knows this but I'm not sure he's ready for that step. I have spent a ye...	Not Alone	6	413	Jan 10, 2012 by Pushka
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.