Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Starting my intern next week and have one class to take on the side to accompany it. I'm having a hard time going back to finish college; I took a year off that was Much needed. Now, however, I am looking at things and recognising I have to work for someone. I am still dealing with the area of authority figur...

KLotus · KLotus

Thank you to all who've responded. You are amazing. Truly. Below are answers to some questions, and an update about an incident last night To answer some questions: My AH went into rehab last May-June. He got out, did some AA for about 8 weeks (at best), and ditched. Then he went to couseling, ditc...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

The other day I wrote a post on how do i end things. Should I visit him or not. I already mentally prepared myself that this relationship is over. After a year of cheating, lying and instance of physical abuse and taking a hard hit financially with this person and sticking with him through the 1t time in ja...

glad lee · glad lee

Recovery is civil war, but it is a war that can be won. --Sister Imelda How often do we hear people say, "Sure, I know it's the right thing to do - but it's easier said than done!'' But "it," whatever "it" is for each of us, is actually easier done than not done. As hard as it is t...

stopandchat · stopandchat

I have really regressed in my recovery. I hate my soon-to-be ex-AH so much, and I am so full of resentments. I've been going to extra meetings, but it hasn't really helped yet. I posted before that I am divorcing my AH. He's been clean for about 15 months, but not really working a program of recovery. And,...

GettingStronger · GettingStronger

After 2 years of living apart, ultimately ending in divorce, my ex-husband still begs me to give him another chance. We struggled through 8 years of dealing with his drinking before his violent rampages sent bricks and benches through my windows while I rushed to hide with our 3 yr old. After a DUI he w...

LostToday · LostToday

I've been lurking here for some time, but this is my first post. There is quite a lot of wisdom here, and I'm in need of a reality check. My addict husband has been clean for a year now. A lot of progress has been made. But lately he has been doing little things that bring up an incredible amount of rage i...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I am in a strange place today. A few things have happened over the last few days. 1. Lots of little niggly things have gone wrong like lost passwords, internet access problems, large loan payments going wrong meaning visits to banks etc (more debt for me!!!), phone not working properly.... you know t...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Yes, I have a 'but' up there. I'm nervous and don't know what to expect. If my husband can't take my son to tennis practice tomorrow night, then I won't be able to go but if I can get him to take him then I can go. So, that's part of the 'but', too. Anyway, I think I really need to go. He's out with some tenni...

John · John

LMAO... just wanted to see how many of you would click it as a subject line. Okay, I'll get serious now... Did you hear on the news about the kid that overdosed on his dad's Viagra? They had to rush him to the emerency room.. He had second degree burns on both hands! Gotcha! I truly hope everyone is starti...

amills4294 · amills4294

Last night, while my spouse and daughter were out, I called my parents. It's rare that I do that because my alcoholic mom can barely hear over the phone and she makes you repeat everything and she never wants a discussion she just wants to talk about her ailments. She drinks heavily every night and the...

manty · manty

Ok, I'm not what I'm doing here...but someone(my mother) told me I should try something for myself...I've been clean and sober for 10 years. My husband sober for 9 years...In the last 2 years he starting smoking pot and working for his brother's caregiver service(marijauna grower) I've been the mo...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have to let go & move on. I did go to the meeting on Tuesday & it went pretty well. My sponsor gave me my Alanon coin & I was moved by that & the meeting. I was almost the last one who shared. I guess I did a pretty good job of holding back but I had to share my feelings. I mentioned my dad of cours...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

These three subjects seem to be all merging together for me today .. I recognised this week that keeping my feelings in and not sharing on them makes them poisonous Secrets and that we are As as in equally as sick as our secrets .. My feelings through the years have literally been hurt not as in boohoo feel...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... Last Night I went to a Much Needed Meeting... It was Awesome... One of the Biggest I had been at in a while, so Of Course My "Expectation" was that people would be climbing over each other to speak...lol... Jozie---- No Expectations!!! NOTED! We Started with the Book "How Al-a...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, last night I was consumed by anger and the passive aggressive side of me came out. I tried to stay up on purpose to irritate him because I knew he was planning on continuing to drink after I went to bed. Finally I fell asleep at 2 AM and he left the room. I don't know if he drank or not but I made a snarky co...

TLD · TLD

I think I just need to vent or put this in writing in order to think it through properly and was hoping for some support. I think i'm just about done in this relationship as it is filled with lies, deceipt and a lack of respect. He continues to lie, has stopped going to meetings, thinks he can hide stuff fro...

KLotus · KLotus

Last week I made it clear to my AH that I didn't trust him, and that I did not want to sign a loan or a purchase agreement to get the small house for my mom (so that he can pay himself, and get an asset). He could manipulate that situation any way he likes. However, he has brought it up a few times since then, in...

Overcome · Overcome

I wanted to share with my MIP family what I posted in my journal today. This journal posting will give you some insight into what I've been struggling with lately. I might add that my ex-AH has been sober for 2 1/2 years with a relapse when we divorced and a period of sobriety before that of 3 years. He is not...

debbiems · debbiems

So my husband is very angry with how I speak to our AS, "I am to nice to him and go out of my way to talk to him" " I try to act like everything is ok" I was side blinded by this. It came out very angry. I was able to keep my self together and told my husband that he should only be concerned of hi...

Debilyn · Debilyn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahv_1IS7SiE&feature=player_embedded

likemyheart · likemyheart

My ex-ah called yesterday, he'd been away from his home (a travel trailer) to play at a pool tournament; he was away for two days. He got home to discover that thieves had broken into his tiny home and trashed whatever they didn't steal. His stereo, tv, movies, guns, dad's guns, compound bow, etc. all go...

Jozie · Jozie

Yea know I never really understood My Need for Addictions... Plus I Never really Thought I had that Many...lol... Boy Am I Learning... As Most Know Last Year I kicked Alcohol to the Curb, it took great will power to be strong enough to continue my life as I live, and still go to partys & get togethers t...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Hi! I'm new to the board using this name, I changed because I've been encouraging my sis. to use this board and I wanted to remain anonymous. Anyway, my 2 adult children are A/As, their father was an A/A, my 2nd husband was a R/A, 21 of the 23yrs we were married, he passed in 06. I've been dating a man who lo...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

While we were away in Cairns, a friend of my husbands (a couple who have since become friends of both of us) rang my phone and I asked my husband to answer to talk to her (them). She said that her husbands daughter (previous relationship daughter) had been flown to our hospital in Darwin from Alice Spring...

HoofnIt · HoofnIt

I have looked in to f2f al-anon meetings in my area and all of them seem to be joined mettings with AA. I dont know how that works or if it would be a good idea. Do you let your A know that you are going to al-anon, reading the books, going on the fourms, or any of that? If not and they find out how do you respond? Th...

MelB · MelB

Today is a new day! Yesterday I made a mistake and today I can feel myself trying to start a new streak of well managed behavior. I know he's in group, I do believe it. I just can't help but want to pick up the phone an text him. I want toCONSTANTLY talk to him. Today though, I'm going to work on me. Maybe work...

Iris lover of dogs · Iris lover of dogs

I read something yesterday on the message board that made me think - something about when you are codependent, a good day is when you catch your AH in the act, doing something wrong. This rung a bell with me, because often times when my AH has betrayed my trust (again), I am hurt, furious, and then . . . a s...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

My daughter is 13 and amazingly wise and talented. We had a talk about why her father was behaving the way he was and at the end we were laughing and she walked away saying choose better next time. I laughed so hard over this. I believe I have broken the cycle and her awareness is so great already, between co...

nnn · nnn

Hello all, I'm brand new to the board and don't know where to start with Al-Anon. I'm hoping someone can give me some guidance. I'm a recent college graduate with divorced parents. I'm also an only child (son). My father has struggled with alcoholism for a long time, but managed to conceal it fairly wel...

MelB · MelB

I'm taking my inventory early tonight. I have lots of things that are swimming around inside my head. I started my new semester of school and it's made it easier to deal with the lack of "whatever" I'm looking for. I always want to put "love" there but really I do know I'm loved by my...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

At my home meeting tonight, one of the questions was, "How have you grown and matured?" Earlier in the day, while taking a walk at lunchime, it occurred to me that I haven't taken a Xanax (prescription for anxiety) in the past six months. My doctor prescribed it to "take the edge off&qu...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

...is that my children might start learning how to use the tools, too. I don't preach 12-Steps at home because I'm not qualified to preach anything. I can only share my own ESH. But, without knowing it, I have started living the program with progress not perfection. Today, in a moment of dismay over my...

Pushka · Pushka

LOL .. I know we are already into the new year however push has come to shove at this point and I'm actually pretty ticked off at the moment as well as massively hurt. Feelings aren't facts so I'm trying not to make any major decisions at this point and time. I am very angry. I feel deceived, let down and h...

Not Alone · Not Alone

Well, ABF left last week - at my request. He is struggling with it. We met over the weekend and I explained that we both need to work on ourselves and that there is no possible way we can do that when being together. He needs a lot of help - he knows this but I'm not sure he's ready for that step. I have spent a ye...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Last Thursday and Friday were hard for me. As Jerry stated I think "I walked off the end of the pink cloud" Haha. That's funny. The amazing part is though, I had tools, and I used them. My sponsor is out of town for a month, which is hard for me but awesome for her. She is basking in the sun, pi...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

so i have mentally prepared myself that relationship is over. I am trying to come face the music and accept the truth of what we had and what we did not have. My answer should be obvious but how do i let him know i am done. Every single Tuesday I go visit him and tomorrow is visiting day. I wanted closure by goi...

rehprof · rehprof

Back story: separated for over a year from AH, currently divorcing. Dated a guy for 6 mos and that's been over for 6 weeks..and it hurt. Living with an AH for almost thirty years, I am realizing that I am starved for attention and affection. So, when I dated this guy I clung to what little he could give me, a...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

My AH looked very tired this morning and his eyes were glazed over, however, he was up at 6 am doing the dishes. Yesterday I looked at the sink full of dishes and I thought "I did these yesterday." So I said to my husband... "Can it be your turn to do the dishes, I don't care when you do them...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I have been keeping you all up to date with my psych appointments. I am not too sure what happened this time around honestly. I do not have any homework to do this time. From the last appointment I have been keeping an eye on blocking feelings and triggers etc. I have identified anger as my default emotion...

monkeymom · monkeymom

Last night 3 weeks out of rehab, his 6-10 (?)th time drinking I told my husband he needed to find some other place to live while he works on his sobriety. It was so anti climatic as if it was inevitable. My husband said he understood, there was no yelling, and just a few tears. I am scared how quickly it happ...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I can't wait to get out of town today to go to a meeting. I am so bored but I figure it is because I am living one day at time. I am trying to fill the empty places w/ better thoughts & actions. Don't get me wrong; living one day at a time is a good thing. I just wish the days weren't so slow sometimes. I need to g...

amills4294 · amills4294

My spouse has a compulsive spending issue. He doesn't see it, or doesn't want to. I know I cannot change him and he has to want to change or see it as a problem. I see so many signs similar to that of an A. There's always a reason, it's always somebody elses fault, it could have been worse, but I'm still p...

kimberlyrt · kimberlyrt

My separated AH has been sober 43 days now. He went through an excellent rehab facility and he has been keeping with the program and consistently goes to AA meetings, sometimes 3 times a day. And he seems so dedicated to stay sober and it means so much to him. There was a time that i thought there was no way w...

Tracy · Tracy

thanks to al anon today can work as part of a team. Pre recovery I was totally controlling and did not trust anyone but myself to organise stuff. When studing years ago I can remember having to do a group presentation I took control delegated tasks took total control. the presentation was good but to...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife has been in an outpatient treatment program for a few weeks now. It has required me to make a lot of sacrifices related to taking care of the kids--things like having to leave the office at odd hours to pick up the kids from pre-school, being out of the office for longer than I should be, coming in la...

coachwork · coachwork

I'm the son of a career-alcoholic mother. She has been drinking since before I was born. I hesitate inviting her to my wedding because I fear that she will somehow mar the day. If it was just a day for me, I would be fine with her presence as I've dealt with any/everything before. However, this now invlove...

kris10 · kris10

So for some reason (I dont know why) I have started to document the days he is using or if I find anything.. I have started a couple months ago taking pictures and keeping them.. Such as pictures of him nodded out burning himself with a cig., needles and spoons, bags or H, I even have a short video of him conv...

KLotus · KLotus

I recently posted regarding my AH having "stolen" my flex health savings account money ($6,000). There is another situation I need help with please. My mother was recently placed on disability, gets some monthly income now, and has a little lump sum in retroactive pay. My mom needs hous...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

good morning .. I just spent the past week with a family member who was in town; she left this morning .. It's always good to see her and always painful to watch her leave .. regardless of the visit we have or don't have .. for the first time in my life, I'm in a place where I "feel" alone .. and feel...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

someone once read to me a reading on manipulation .. It went along the lines of "Why does the alcoholic outmaneuver and manipulate us at every turn ? Because we still think we can control its affects." This morning I am in the middle of crazy family dynamics .. Watching the roles .. in my resen...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

DISCLAIMER: Every single one of you have given me strength and support in your own way. Your stories have provided me with the strength to use it in my own battle. however, I want you guys to know that I write my stories with him to vent and just to get an outside prospective to get opinions to see if this is w...

danni · danni

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????!!!!!!! That's it. That's all I have to say this morning. sigh.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I can't think of much to say today but I am still grateful & somewhat content. I guess I always think that I should have something profound to say on here. To be honest, my life is pretty basic. I get up & try to find good things to do for myself & others. I have a slow paced life. Sometimes I get bo...

hotrod · hotrod

Courage to Change January 9th I am always deeply touched by this page . Every year when it comes around, I find myself appreciating the words and thoughts more and more. For so many years I looked for outside approval to determine if my actions, my looks, my style was good enough. If that approval was...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Last night I didn't get home until very late. I had to work my restaurant job and then I had to stop at the store. Baby girl's birthday is today and we are having just family over for birthday cookie and ice cream. I had to pick up the stuff to make the cookie as well as other odds and ends. When I got home my AH wa...

MelB · MelB

Good morning friends! I feel like when I post on here it helps me to keep focused on what my goal is for that day! I have school work today. School just started back up for me and I take all my classes online. I haven't had much to do since the break from school for the holiday. I think that helped me go all crazy...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I had a movie playing while I worked this afternoon about a woman married to an abusive man, lots of kids, depression era type of thing, set in sweden I think, it had subtitles anyway. One scene - the mom and all the kids are in the kitchen giving one a bath and doing various things, dad comes home drunk and f...

philli · philli

I am not really sure how to use posts. I have been in a realationship for over 2 years and my boyfriend has been sober for 3 years, we get on great but it seems he only sticks to something for a few weeks and then changes his mind and that includes us moving in together and he always has an excuse but turns it aro...

lindaw · lindaw

What should I say or do when my A daughter (42) calls to say she doesn't believe she really is an A and that she can prove it by just taking one or two drinks? Her husband has threatened to leave her if she does and she's already been to the liquor store and probably has had the drink. What is the best approach...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Authority Figures (Preview) Starting my intern next week and have one class to take on the side to accompany it. I'm having a hard time going back to finish college; I took a year off that was Much needed. Now, however, I am looking at things and recognising I have to work for someone. I am still dealing with the area of authority figur...	MeTwo2	4	492	Jan 14, 2012 by Debilyn
	More Update (Preview) Thank you to all who've responded. You are amazing. Truly. Below are answers to some questions, and an update about an incident last night To answer some questions: My AH went into rehab last May-June. He got out, did some AA for about 8 weeks (at best), and ditched. Then he went to couseling, ditc...	KLotus	5	506	Jan 14, 2012 by likemyheart
	The start of step 1! Finally put an end to living his addiciton! Refuse to live this way! (Preview) The other day I wrote a post on how do i end things. Should I visit him or not. I already mentally prepared myself that this relationship is over. After a year of cheating, lying and instance of physical abuse and taking a hard hit financially with this person and sticking with him through the 1t time in ja...	Julie3310	6	521	Jan 13, 2012 by Iris lover of dogs
	How to like ourselves more.... (Preview) Recovery is civil war, but it is a war that can be won. --Sister Imelda How often do we hear people say, "Sure, I know it's the right thing to do - but it's easier said than done!'' But "it," whatever "it" is for each of us, is actually easier done than not done. As hard as it is t...	glad lee	5	467	Jan 13, 2012 by Iris lover of dogs
	Consumed with hate for my AH (Preview) I have really regressed in my recovery. I hate my soon-to-be ex-AH so much, and I am so full of resentments. I've been going to extra meetings, but it hasn't really helped yet. I posted before that I am divorcing my AH. He's been clean for about 15 months, but not really working a program of recovery. And,...	stopandchat	21	692	Jan 13, 2012 by likemyheart
	Will I ever find the trust? (Preview) After 2 years of living apart, ultimately ending in divorce, my ex-husband still begs me to give him another chance. We struggled through 8 years of dealing with his drinking before his violent rampages sent bricks and benches through my windows while I rushed to hide with our 3 yr old. After a DUI he w...	GettingStronger	10	537	Jan 13, 2012 by GettingStronger
	Need Reality Check (Preview) I've been lurking here for some time, but this is my first post. There is quite a lot of wisdom here, and I'm in need of a reality check. My addict husband has been clean for a year now. A lot of progress has been made. But lately he has been doing little things that bring up an incredible amount of rage i...	LostToday	3	416	Jan 13, 2012 by LostToday
	selfish emotions (Preview) I am in a strange place today. A few things have happened over the last few days. 1. Lots of little niggly things have gone wrong like lost passwords, internet access problems, large loan payments going wrong meaning visits to banks etc (more debt for me!!!), phone not working properly.... you know t...	Lindaoakford	7	360	Jan 13, 2012 by Jennifer
	Want to go to a meeting tomorrow but..... (Preview) Yes, I have a 'but' up there. I'm nervous and don't know what to expect. If my husband can't take my son to tennis practice tomorrow night, then I won't be able to go but if I can get him to take him then I can go. So, that's part of the 'but', too. Anyway, I think I really need to go. He's out with some tenni...	ilovedogs	5	636	Jan 13, 2012 by ilovedogs
	SEX! (Preview) LMAO... just wanted to see how many of you would click it as a subject line. Okay, I'll get serious now... Did you hear on the news about the kid that overdosed on his dad's Viagra? They had to rush him to the emerency room.. He had second degree burns on both hands! Gotcha! I truly hope everyone is starti...	John	7	675	Jan 13, 2012 by MeTwo2
	Dealing with an alcoholic parent's disapproval - as an adult (Preview) Last night, while my spouse and daughter were out, I called my parents. It's rare that I do that because my alcoholic mom can barely hear over the phone and she makes you repeat everything and she never wants a discussion she just wants to talk about her ailments. She drinks heavily every night and the...	amills4294	4	437	Jan 13, 2012 by Jerry F
	i'm sure (Preview) Ok, I'm not what I'm doing here...but someone(my mother) told me I should try something for myself...I've been clean and sober for 10 years. My husband sober for 9 years...In the last 2 years he starting smoking pot and working for his brother's caregiver service(marijauna grower) I've been the mo...	manty	11	639	Jan 13, 2012 by Jerry F
	have to let go! (Preview) I have to let go & move on. I did go to the meeting on Tuesday & it went pretty well. My sponsor gave me my Alanon coin & I was moved by that & the meeting. I was almost the last one who shared. I guess I did a pretty good job of holding back but I had to share my feelings. I mentioned my dad of cours...	Hoot Nanny	1	308	Jan 13, 2012 by Jerry F
	feelings/parenting/powerlessness (Preview) These three subjects seem to be all merging together for me today .. I recognised this week that keeping my feelings in and not sharing on them makes them poisonous Secrets and that we are As as in equally as sick as our secrets .. My feelings through the years have literally been hurt not as in boohoo feel...	MeTwo2	4	488	Jan 12, 2012 by MeTwo2
	Climbing the Ladder to Recovery... (Preview) Welp... Last Night I went to a Much Needed Meeting... It was Awesome... One of the Biggest I had been at in a while, so Of Course My "Expectation" was that people would be climbing over each other to speak...lol... Jozie---- No Expectations!!! NOTED! We Started with the Book "How Al-a...	Jozie	3	1044	Jan 12, 2012 by Pushka
	I opened my big 'ol mouth (Preview) So, last night I was consumed by anger and the passive aggressive side of me came out. I tried to stay up on purpose to irritate him because I knew he was planning on continuing to drink after I went to bed. Finally I fell asleep at 2 AM and he left the room. I don't know if he drank or not but I made a snarky co...	ilovedogs	6	432	Jan 12, 2012 by Pushka
	Just about done with this (Preview) I think I just need to vent or put this in writing in order to think it through properly and was hoping for some support. I think i'm just about done in this relationship as it is filled with lies, deceipt and a lack of respect. He continues to lie, has stopped going to meetings, thinks he can hide stuff fro...	TLD	5	503	Jan 12, 2012 by Pushka
	Update (Preview) Last week I made it clear to my AH that I didn't trust him, and that I did not want to sign a loan or a purchase agreement to get the small house for my mom (so that he can pay himself, and get an asset). He could manipulate that situation any way he likes. However, he has brought it up a few times since then, in...	KLotus	9	348	Jan 12, 2012 by Pushka
	Listening to Chris Young's "Tomorrow" (Preview) I wanted to share with my MIP family what I posted in my journal today. This journal posting will give you some insight into what I've been struggling with lately. I might add that my ex-AH has been sober for 2 1/2 years with a relapse when we divorced and a period of sobriety before that of 3 years. He is not...	Overcome	2	447	Jan 12, 2012 by Overcome
	confused (Preview) So my husband is very angry with how I speak to our AS, "I am to nice to him and go out of my way to talk to him" " I try to act like everything is ok" I was side blinded by this. It came out very angry. I was able to keep my self together and told my husband that he should only be concerned of hi...	debbiems	1	272	Jan 12, 2012 by Debilyn
	Thoughts of now and then (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahv_1IS7SiE&feature=player_embedded	Debilyn	7	528	Jan 12, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Horrible Happening (Preview) My ex-ah called yesterday, he'd been away from his home (a travel trailer) to play at a pool tournament; he was away for two days. He got home to discover that thieves had broken into his tiny home and trashed whatever they didn't steal. His stereo, tv, movies, guns, dad's guns, compound bow, etc. all go...	likemyheart	7	389	Jan 12, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Addiction #999 (Preview) Yea know I never really understood My Need for Addictions... Plus I Never really Thought I had that Many...lol... Boy Am I Learning... As Most Know Last Year I kicked Alcohol to the Curb, it took great will power to be strong enough to continue my life as I live, and still go to partys & get togethers t...	Jozie	2	358	Jan 12, 2012 by Jozie
	Confused (Preview) Hi! I'm new to the board using this name, I changed because I've been encouraging my sis. to use this board and I wanted to remain anonymous. Anyway, my 2 adult children are A/As, their father was an A/A, my 2nd husband was a R/A, 21 of the 23yrs we were married, he passed in 06. I've been dating a man who lo...	Highlyfavored	1	280	Jan 12, 2012 by Mattie
	is this passive aggressive on my part? (Preview) While we were away in Cairns, a friend of my husbands (a couple who have since become friends of both of us) rang my phone and I asked my husband to answer to talk to her (them). She said that her husbands daughter (previous relationship daughter) had been flown to our hospital in Darwin from Alice Spring...	Lindaoakford	11	401	Jan 11, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	A few things (Preview) I have looked in to f2f al-anon meetings in my area and all of them seem to be joined mettings with AA. I dont know how that works or if it would be a good idea. Do you let your A know that you are going to al-anon, reading the books, going on the fourms, or any of that? If not and they find out how do you respond? Th...	HoofnIt	3	570	Jan 11, 2012 by canadianguy
	New Day! (Preview) Today is a new day! Yesterday I made a mistake and today I can feel myself trying to start a new streak of well managed behavior. I know he's in group, I do believe it. I just can't help but want to pick up the phone an text him. I want toCONSTANTLY talk to him. Today though, I'm going to work on me. Maybe work...	MelB	3	228	Jan 11, 2012 by MelB
	Self psychoanalysis an imperfect science (Preview) I read something yesterday on the message board that made me think - something about when you are codependent, a good day is when you catch your AH in the act, doing something wrong. This rung a bell with me, because often times when my AH has betrayed my trust (again), I am hurt, furious, and then . . . a s...	Iris lover of dogs	7	371	Jan 11, 2012 by Iris lover of dogs
	My own daughter told me to choose better next time! (Preview) My daughter is 13 and amazingly wise and talented. We had a talk about why her father was behaving the way he was and at the end we were laughing and she walked away saying choose better next time. I laughed so hard over this. I believe I have broken the cycle and her awareness is so great already, between co...	Breakingfree	7	431	Jan 11, 2012 by danni
	Advice Concerning Father's Secretive Substance Abuse (Preview) Hello all, I'm brand new to the board and don't know where to start with Al-Anon. I'm hoping someone can give me some guidance. I'm a recent college graduate with divorced parents. I'm also an only child (son). My father has struggled with alcoholism for a long time, but managed to conceal it fairly wel...	nnn	3	301	Jan 11, 2012 by Jozie
	My slip up=My inventory (Preview) I'm taking my inventory early tonight. I have lots of things that are swimming around inside my head. I started my new semester of school and it's made it easier to deal with the lack of "whatever" I'm looking for. I always want to put "love" there but really I do know I'm loved by my...	MelB	3	361	Jan 11, 2012 by Jozie
	Al-Anon is my Drug of Choice (Preview) At my home meeting tonight, one of the questions was, "How have you grown and matured?" Earlier in the day, while taking a walk at lunchime, it occurred to me that I haven't taken a Xanax (prescription for anxiety) in the past six months. My doctor prescribed it to "take the edge off&qu...	Green Eyes	7	596	Jan 11, 2012 by Jozie
	The "danger" of the program... (Preview) ...is that my children might start learning how to use the tools, too. I don't preach 12-Steps at home because I'm not qualified to preach anything. I can only share my own ESH. But, without knowing it, I have started living the program with progress not perfection. Today, in a moment of dismay over my...	Very Very Tired	5	539	Jan 11, 2012 by Very Very Tired
	New Year (Preview) LOL .. I know we are already into the new year however push has come to shove at this point and I'm actually pretty ticked off at the moment as well as massively hurt. Feelings aren't facts so I'm trying not to make any major decisions at this point and time. I am very angry. I feel deceived, let down and h...	Pushka	6	490	Jan 10, 2012 by Pushka
	now what? (Preview) Well, ABF left last week - at my request. He is struggling with it. We met over the weekend and I explained that we both need to work on ourselves and that there is no possible way we can do that when being together. He needs a lot of help - he knows this but I'm not sure he's ready for that step. I have spent a ye...	Not Alone	6	361	Jan 10, 2012 by Pushka
	That, too, had passed (Preview) Last Thursday and Friday were hard for me. As Jerry stated I think "I walked off the end of the pink cloud" Haha. That's funny. The amazing part is though, I had tools, and I used them. My sponsor is out of town for a month, which is hard for me but awesome for her. She is basking in the sun, pi...	Michelle814	6	429	Jan 10, 2012 by kris10
	I am ending my relationship, how should I tell him? I Want a sponsor too! (Preview) so i have mentally prepared myself that relationship is over. I am trying to come face the music and accept the truth of what we had and what we did not have. My answer should be obvious but how do i let him know i am done. Every single Tuesday I go visit him and tomorrow is visiting day. I wanted closure by goi...	Julie3310	5	454	Jan 10, 2012 by Michelle814
	Dirty Water (Preview) Back story: separated for over a year from AH, currently divorcing. Dated a guy for 6 mos and that's been over for 6 weeks..and it hurt. Living with an AH for almost thirty years, I am realizing that I am starved for attention and affection. So, when I dated this guy I clung to what little he could give me, a...	rehprof	9	1330	Jan 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Satisfaction (Preview) My AH looked very tired this morning and his eyes were glazed over, however, he was up at 6 am doing the dishes. Yesterday I looked at the sink full of dishes and I thought "I did these yesterday." So I said to my husband... "Can it be your turn to do the dishes, I don't care when you do them...	Michelle814	5	488	Jan 10, 2012 by sookie
	6th psychologist appointment (Preview) I have been keeping you all up to date with my psych appointments. I am not too sure what happened this time around honestly. I do not have any homework to do this time. From the last appointment I have been keeping an eye on blocking feelings and triggers etc. I have identified anger as my default emotion...	Lindaoakford	4	316	Jan 10, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	He left this morning (Preview) Last night 3 weeks out of rehab, his 6-10 (?)th time drinking I told my husband he needed to find some other place to live while he works on his sobriety. It was so anti climatic as if it was inevitable. My husband said he understood, there was no yelling, and just a few tears. I am scared how quickly it happ...	monkeymom	7	415	Jan 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	issues, issues, issues! (Preview) I can't wait to get out of town today to go to a meeting. I am so bored but I figure it is because I am living one day at time. I am trying to fill the empty places w/ better thoughts & actions. Don't get me wrong; living one day at a time is a good thing. I just wish the days weren't so slow sometimes. I need to g...	Hoot Nanny	1	279	Jan 10, 2012 by Mattie
	Spouse not an A but other addictive/compulsive behaviors (Preview) My spouse has a compulsive spending issue. He doesn't see it, or doesn't want to. I know I cannot change him and he has to want to change or see it as a problem. I see so many signs similar to that of an A. There's always a reason, it's always somebody elses fault, it could have been worse, but I'm still p...	amills4294	1	452	Jan 10, 2012 by Mattie
	having hope (Preview) My separated AH has been sober 43 days now. He went through an excellent rehab facility and he has been keeping with the program and consistently goes to AA meetings, sometimes 3 times a day. And he seems so dedicated to stay sober and it means so much to him. There was a time that i thought there was no way w...	kimberlyrt	4	368	Jan 10, 2012 by rrib
	team work/tradition one (Preview) thanks to al anon today can work as part of a team. Pre recovery I was totally controlling and did not trust anyone but myself to organise stuff. When studing years ago I can remember having to do a group presentation I took control delegated tasks took total control. the presentation was good but to...	Tracy	2	456	Jan 10, 2012 by Michelle814
	Coming to grips with the anger I felt today (Preview) My wife has been in an outpatient treatment program for a few weeks now. It has required me to make a lot of sacrifices related to taking care of the kids--things like having to leave the office at odd hours to pick up the kids from pre-school, being out of the office for longer than I should be, coming in la...	usedtobeanyer	10	469	Jan 10, 2012 by Michelle814
	Weddings...should qualifier come? Mother Wedding (Preview) I'm the son of a career-alcoholic mother. She has been drinking since before I was born. I hesitate inviting her to my wedding because I fear that she will somehow mar the day. If it was just a day for me, I would be fine with her presence as I've dealt with any/everything before. However, this now invlove...	coachwork	13	7901	Jan 10, 2012 by glad lee
	Documenting everything... (Preview) So for some reason (I dont know why) I have started to document the days he is using or if I find anything.. I have started a couple months ago taking pictures and keeping them.. Such as pictures of him nodded out burning himself with a cig., needles and spoons, bags or H, I even have a short video of him conv...	kris10	16	524	Jan 10, 2012 by Michelle814
	Financial dilemma - HELP please! (Preview) I recently posted regarding my AH having "stolen" my flex health savings account money ($6,000). There is another situation I need help with please. My mother was recently placed on disability, gets some monthly income now, and has a little lump sum in retroactive pay. My mom needs hous...	KLotus	16	572	Jan 10, 2012 by suzieblue
	family years (Preview) good morning .. I just spent the past week with a family member who was in town; she left this morning .. It's always good to see her and always painful to watch her leave .. regardless of the visit we have or don't have .. for the first time in my life, I'm in a place where I "feel" alone .. and feel...	MeTwo2	5	619	Jan 9, 2012 by MeTwo2
	Recognising Alcoholism as the Disease it is .. (Preview) someone once read to me a reading on manipulation .. It went along the lines of "Why does the alcoholic outmaneuver and manipulate us at every turn ? Because we still think we can control its affects." This morning I am in the middle of crazy family dynamics .. Watching the roles .. in my resen...	MeTwo2	8	509	Jan 9, 2012 by MeTwo2
	Sick and tired of being sick and tired! but this is my breakthrough! (Preview) DISCLAIMER: Every single one of you have given me strength and support in your own way. Your stories have provided me with the strength to use it in my own battle. however, I want you guys to know that I write my stories with him to vent and just to get an outside prospective to get opinions to see if this is w...	Julie3310	12	437	Jan 9, 2012 by Julie3310
	Door left unlocked AGAIN! (Preview) ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????!!!!!!! That's it. That's all I have to say this morning. sigh.	danni	9	375	Jan 9, 2012 by danni
	can't think of much to say (Preview) I can't think of much to say today but I am still grateful & somewhat content. I guess I always think that I should have something profound to say on here. To be honest, my life is pretty basic. I get up & try to find good things to do for myself & others. I have a slow paced life. Sometimes I get bo...	Hoot Nanny	2	240	Jan 9, 2012 by Jerry F
	Today's Courage to Change (Preview) Courage to Change January 9th I am always deeply touched by this page . Every year when it comes around, I find myself appreciating the words and thoughts more and more. For so many years I looked for outside approval to determine if my actions, my looks, my style was good enough. If that approval was...	hotrod	3	425	Jan 9, 2012 by amills4294
	Checking my motive (Preview) Last night I didn't get home until very late. I had to work my restaurant job and then I had to stop at the store. Baby girl's birthday is today and we are having just family over for birthday cookie and ice cream. I had to pick up the stuff to make the cookie as well as other odds and ends. When I got home my AH wa...	Jackie11	9	992	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	My promise for today! (Preview) Good morning friends! I feel like when I post on here it helps me to keep focused on what my goal is for that day! I have school work today. School just started back up for me and I take all my classes online. I haven't had much to do since the break from school for the holiday. I think that helped me go all crazy...	MelB	3	341	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	Roots of my whachamacalit (Preview) I had a movie playing while I worked this afternoon about a woman married to an abusive man, lots of kids, depression era type of thing, set in sweden I think, it had subtitles anyway. One scene - the mom and all the kids are in the kitchen giving one a bath and doing various things, dad comes home drunk and f...	likemyheart	5	384	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	relationship (Preview) I am not really sure how to use posts. I have been in a realationship for over 2 years and my boyfriend has been sober for 3 years, we get on great but it seems he only sticks to something for a few weeks and then changes his mind and that includes us moving in together and he always has an excuse but turns it aro...	philli	2	344	Jan 9, 2012 by danni
	What should I do when my daughter calls from a liquor store with 8 months sobrity? (Preview) What should I say or do when my A daughter (42) calls to say she doesn't believe she really is an A and that she can prove it by just taking one or two drinks? Her husband has threatened to leave her if she does and she's already been to the liquor store and probably has had the drink. What is the best approach...	lindaw	13	502	Jan 9, 2012 by lindaw
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.