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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Making a choice
Post Info TOPIC: Making a choice
orchidlover


~*Service Worker*~

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Making a choice
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In my current situation I am in a dilemma at the part time job I have.  To change to another status requires input by the union.  Right now our union representative is about to go on a holiday (to the Carribean no less) for 2 weeks.  Meantime I am left in limbo.  I've asked him about this situation for about 6 weeks now.  There is no hurry in it for him but there is a big hurry for me.

In the past in this kind of situatian I'd explode, leave, simmer in resentment and just all round in general feel awful.  Today I'm choosing not to.  Admittedly I'm not in a great position, admittedly I am up in a corner financially (although not as bad as last year!).  Admittedly the union rep isn't doing what he should be.  The irony is that its as al anon teaches us, there is no way i can control these people.  The only person I can control is myself. From years of research I know that having a tantrum, leaving or doing what I've always done is going to get me nowhere.  So I choose otherwise.  Of course I'd rather tantrum and do all the other things because I feel its patently unfair.  I'd rather yell, scream and fume but I know where that will get me.

I spent years with the now ex A fuming, yelling screaming, nothing but nothing I did ever stopped him drinking. 

I will just have to wait it out.  I may get my status changed, I may not.  The outcome isn't up to me.  I've done the footwork that's what I have done and that's really all I can do.

What a difference a few years of al anon have, I can detach, I can put it into a big picture (I won't be at this awful retail job for ever) and I can take care of myself.  All of those things I could never do in the past.

None of that changes that I am poor, in a bad situation and the economy isn't moving as far as I need it to.  None of that changes anything the only part that has changed is me.

 

maresie.



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orchid lover
GreenerGrass


Senior Member

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Posts: 149
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Well, I'm Impressed with you, if that helps at all. I don't have a job. I've been taking care of my children for the past five years. Don't even know where to start in getting back to work. I would love to have the sense of empowerment having a job would give me. Maybe someday, no definitely someday, but I don't even think I have anything to offer anyone! So, props to you for having a job and working hard. You can never be ashamed of that!

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hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 17196
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Dear Maresie

I know that your detachment and serenity have been won with a great deal of hard work and dedication to your program.

I can hear that you are no longer willing to sacrifice your inner peace and have new tools to live by.How geat is that!!!

Thanks for sharing your growth.



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

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Maresie...Thank you for the gratitude shot!! (although not as bad as last year!).  That statement means alot to me about clearing up my vision and looking at the "whole" picture.   Now...patience works well here too!!  Praying for your best...(((((hugs))))) smile



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Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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I wish you could see you thru my eyes. It's amazing all you have learned and shared..

talk about someone working the program!

YES we can do the footwork but that is that. Hp brings the outcome. And it will be ok.

hugs,deb



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Loupiness


~*Service Worker*~

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Hi Marieie,
Isn't it an odd, but relieving feeling to experience a powerful emotion like frustration or anger and still feel peaceful? When I first started the program, that seemed impossible. So glad I get it now. You obviously do too. We are powerless, but can still take care of ourselves. I'm so glad you continue to share here.

Blessings,
Lou

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Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace.
~ Ronald Reagan~

Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't
~Marguerite Bro~
Christy


~*Service Worker*~

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It truly is a pleasure and a treasure to see how your mindset has literally blossomed.  biggrin

 



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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them.  And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
orchidlover


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1036
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I don't know that it will be okay.  I don't like this job one bit.  I would have left long long ago in my previous incarnations but I know where that got me!

I also know that I have survived so much during the last 5 years that I can survive this frustration and anger too.

Maresie.



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orchid lover
Michelle814


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 818
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I am happy you post about how Al-Anon has worked for you. I love posts from newbies because its a beautiful thing when Al-Anon keeps helping people all over the world... but the posts I really enjoy are ones from members who have been working their program ... it does not even matter how long they have been in Al-Anon but any stage in which they are working it. Seeing the changes in people is my favorite part of Al-Anon. You know that you can handle what comes your way and though you feel frustrated you can keep your sanity and serenity. Thats so beautiful because feelings are out of our control too, I think. I know I will still feel frustrated, angry, sad.. etc but instead of having a tantrum, or making mountains out of mole hills. I can think, will this matter next week, next year, in ten years and i can keep my head. You inspire me, Maresie. I love your posts and I love your comments. I am grateful you are here. Thank you.



-- Edited by Michelle814 on Monday 9th of January 2012 09:35:31 AM



-- Edited by Michelle814 on Monday 9th of January 2012 09:36:17 AM

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Michelle!

No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Making a choice