The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today I'm going to be stronger than I was in the past. I'm going to walk in my life with my head high because it doesn't matter who loves me. I am only working on loving myself. I've tried to do it other ways. I've tried looking for my self worth in others and it's not work out so well. I'm sick today, I'm mentally falling apart but "IT'S OK" It will get better. Life and Love with get better. I can't expect other people to pick me up. I have to learn to pick myself up.
I love my ABF and I want nothing more than to be with him. As I sit here an write that out my mind starts controlling me with it's glimpes into things that haven't even happened. I'm working on controling them. I can't promise today will be perfect. I can't promise anything but that I'm going to keep moving forward. I feel alone even after I just left him. The moment we seperate my mind starts to try and control me. I fear EVERYTHING!!! I know I have the problem, I know I have to fix it. I know that everyday will get easier but my mind won't stop even when I know that. I'm working on it for today!! I'm working on it!!! I'm working on it!! I'm working on it!!! All I can do is take it one day, one hour, even one minute at a time! Even as I write that my mind trys to play tricks on me. I acknowledge they may be tricks but my head still says "It could be true" The key word being "could" I have to stop worrying about what hasn't happened yet. Its my fear of being hurt that keeps me so consumed in his life. I'm a good person and I deserve happiness. I will find find it and never let go.....it just takes time.....EASY DOES IT!!!!
I daily struggle with the same things you do. Thank You for posting today! You are not alone in your struggle and neither am I. We cannot change one thing by worring about it. Hang in there MelB
Today I'm going to be stronger than I was in the past. I'm going to walk in my life with my head high because it doesn't matter who loves me. I am only working on loving myself. I've tried to do it other ways. I've tried looking for my self worth in others and it's not work out so well. I'm sick today, I'm mentally falling apart but "IT'S OK" It will get better. Life and Love with get better. I can't expect other people to pick me up. I have to learn to pick myself up. 