Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

pineapple · pineapple

I had lunch with some friends today. After an hour or so one of them asked ¨And how is _ ?(A)¨ I said it had been a rough week and I didn't want to talk about it. He then said ¨we don't mean to pry, but we care about him. And more importantly we care about you.¨ Well, that opened the floodgates. I told them the l...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi,Here I am again with the same issue. My parents came to a school sports day to watch their grandchildren. While there Mum's mouth started flapping again. Yabbering on about various members of our family (not in a good way), telling me what I shared on facebook was a crock of bull****. Yesterda...

Chaya · Chaya

I have been going to meetings for a couple weeks now and they are helping so much. I would really like to get a sponsor at this point, but I am scared of (1) rejection and (2) another failed relationship. I do not trust myself to ask another woman who will be positive in my life. I don't trust my picker and I do...

PP · PP

I have a wonderful sponsor that has been with me for about 4 years and I feel disloyal even raising this issue. Since I have never had a sponsor, I don't know how these relationships best work. Sometimes I feel like maybe it has traveled more into the friend realm and the boundaries might be a bit skewe...

Path to Serenity · Path to Serenity

My A son got word today that his best friend tried to commit suicide. He was in tears telling me about it and is currently at the hospital where the friend is on life-support. The friend has been going thru a crisis in his marriage - he came home to find the house empty - the wife had moved out with the two ch...

Shelliebear · Shelliebear

More news... After my last post I did not post for a while. I watched my mom miraculously go further downhill. She drank one night and then in the morning while still drunk she dropped a wine glass, cut her knuckles on it really bad. I had to rinse her hand and bandage it. itwas bleeding a lot, probably beca...

Mwvd · Mwvd

I don't think I have the energy to stay in this marriage now that I know he is an alcoholic. I am very sad but know that to stay would be a really bad move. He is a sweet drunk but I gotta get out. Without resources, I don't know where to go. Is there a clearinghouse for housing options...others who may wan...

beckylee · beckylee

I am so happy today. My daughter is in town visiting. It's so strange. That only now, that this life change has happened. That I see clearly. I feel like Im coming out of a strange haze. I had been living in. I never realizied how my life had shrunk. Living with the Alcoholic. I am seeing my children in a whol...

Jenv · Jenv

Hello all, I was at my nieces graduation from highschool and afterwords there was a party for the graduatels at my sisters(the alcoholic) friends house. I was helping to get the food ready and my sister said something rude. I could tell how the day was going to go so my daughter and I left to avoid a drunke...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have been coming and reading and occassionaly responding, but been crazy busy getting us unpacked and still have a bit to go. I left the island I lived on Sunday night and have moved to the main land where I know not a sole with my 2 girls for those who don't know me. I took my girls to see their dad today for t...

QueenK · QueenK

I have been with my husband for 16 years and it has been a very rocky road. He has gone as long as 2years sober before he began having weekend drinking binges. He has started drinking more lately and I am noticing the affect it has on my children. My 12 year old daughter has so much anger built up inside of her...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

The pain I have inside is excruating. I have been on an all time high and happiness from not hearing from my ex the past 2 weeks. The last I heard from him he wanted to hang out and i didnt want to see him, he called me saying he was at the beach with his friends and he was with his baby mama instead (he lied to me) a...

Kath72 · Kath72

My exhusband and I have agreed to try to work things out if he stays sober. He is currently in a residential correctional facility. Everything seemed to be going well until I told him I was going out with my sister to a street dance to celebrate my birthday and I would probably drink. I'm not a big drinker m...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

My beloved 16 year old puppy died on Sunday. She has been my faithful, loyal loving friend in the midst of all the craziness in my life she was the constant that keep me grounded and always always loved me unconditionally. I am devastated. It is taking all my strenght simply to get out of bed and go on. Just...

callmemara · callmemara

I hear "work the steps" a lot. Is there a workbook or something? Thanks!

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

I need some help figuring myself out today. When my husband and I were separated for about 2 months in February, my son overheard a call that his dad received and became suspicious and mentioned it to me. I made a note of the day and time and went digging. I found out that the number belonged to a young girl...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just a little bit, just a little bit of anxiety today. I am doing better even w/ the pain! I am so fortunate that the doctors know what they are doing. I just wish I had private insurance of some kind. I am taking each test one at a time. I can only afford what I can afford these days. I can't spend what I have &am...

CDK · CDK

Hi everyone. :) Im working HARD TODAY at staying in the moment. Ive had some struggles with my best friend in addition to leaving my A. She turned on me, and fussed at me for being upset only two weeks later. In addition to that, she called him and asked him to be part of an art show. While, she certainly has t...

PP · PP

I have been attending Al Anon meetings for several years and have said to myself and others many times Let Go and Let God. This morning I had an experience where I got it...it is even hard to put it into words. As I mentioned in earlier posts, my husband's recovery program is Celebrate Recovery, which i...

jorjorjor · jorjorjor

Hey all, So I am in a long distance relationship with someone who is coming to visit me on Saturday! I'm totally stoked but... They have made other plans while they are here to see other friends of theres, and emailed me a very detailed schedule of when they are and aren't available. It bummed me out becau...

silent · silent

i dont understand why its even bothering me that my ex a has blocked me from his f/b,i had already defreinded him a long way back but ive found out y he blocked me is because i had this freind of his on my face book and his cell ph,has been down or out of mins for a long time now that he has it back on,so i cant see wh...

ythannah · ythannah

Hey, all.... haven't been here in a while as I've been incredibly busy (in a good way!). I've been stewing about something for a while now, wondering what the heck is up with my head, and just yesterday in C2C the reading said something to the effect of being open to the guidance of the people around me -...

Aloha · Aloha

I was feeling really icky yesterday morning, and I know a lot of it was a sort of "oooh, I want someone to love me!" kind of ickyness. I'm real grateful for my Al-Anon program and tools, however, because even when I was feeling all blah I knew immediately that I need not wait for someone outside...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Several family members called to ask me if I had read what my daughter wrote about me on facebook, also her deceased father. They were very upset and angry at her esp. my son, who is also a/a, but functioning at a higher level currently. I guess H/P (God) protected me from reading it because I was unable...

Gailey · Gailey

A son (by the Grace of God) is not in jail..... The prosecutor really wanted him to spend 60 days of a 1 year sentence incarcerated. We found that out several days before the trial when his attorney spoke to her. Son's attorney told him to get his affairs in order as he would go straight to jail from the tria...

Jozie · Jozie

OK, So... I have Been Battling a "Trust" issue, and Everytime it is Brought Up I Find myself slipping back to Old habits of Judgement, Control... Now I have been Working My Program the Best I Can Squeeze into the Crazy Schedule I Call life, and I have been Asking HP to Show Me how to Forgive Thos...

thanku · thanku

i went online to http://chapter9-nyc.org/beta/meetings.html and found us a chapter nine meeting last night. we drove all the way there to find an empty church. it was really really frustrating. why would they have that meeting listed on the website if the meeting was closed?!?!

likemyheart · likemyheart

Hello All - second time I've typed this because my pc went away for a second, ha, but that's all it takes sometimes! Today was a good day. I took my daughter and her friend to a saturday market on sunday; great great GREAT weather - man it was about perfect weather, did I say it was great? Lots of people, thin...

Tigger · Tigger

I'm wondering if anyone has an idea about what is blaming behaviour and what is just being or feeling annoyed about something someone does. I'm trying to sort this out in my own head. I think the program says that to blame someone is not keeping the focus on me and my own self responsibility. Out of fear I h...

Ashley89 · Ashley89

Hey all... My partner decided to get give up the alcohol about 4 weeks ago, Said he would get help by going to AA meetings, couselling etc. Still to this day he has made no effort to get the help, making any phone calls or going to AA groups. I asked him twice in the last 4 weeks if he has rang to book an appt and...

CountryGirl · CountryGirl

It has been one year and four days since my loved one entered rehab and quickly relapsed. I set a very strict boundary that for the longest time seemed so unfair. "If you drink again, I am gone" He drank, I literally packed up everything I owned and moved 3 hours away. That was 9 months ago and in...

hope4ever · hope4ever

Hello everyone. I am so freaking happy to be here. This is my first post and I just need to be really honest and up front about my defects. I have been in alanon for about a year now and attend 2 meetings a week. I have been able to find great support in the program but am coming up against a block. Here is...

silent · silent

im haveing a diff. veiw of my ex a today after talking toa girl on my f/b about him that he had been trying to hook up with,but she told me that everytime she or he called her he would be drunk and would tell off on himself we we became freinds,which is good she is a very sweet person a has a good head on her should...

willowtree · willowtree

Has anyone tried EFT (emotional freedom technique-tapping) I have heard it is really helpful. I have tried it some but didn't feel to much of a difference. I am confused because Alanon teaches that we have to surrender and yet EFT teaches that we can tap and help our body release these negative ener...

Temple · Temple

I'm probably older than most anybody on here. Today I was thinking I may have 12 or 15 years left. No guarantees with that, of course. And I got to thinking about how I want to live these next years--however many are given to me. Mind you, in my head I don't feel any different than the youngest of you. Bu...

Fina · Fina

I'm moving back to the states Wednesday and am not sure about access to the internet or what I'll be doing the rest of this week. Will you all make an effort to cover for me for these three meetings? Thanks. Fina.

Olive · Olive

We had a bad episode two weeks ago. My AH became agressive towards our 17 year old nephew who lives with us and later became physical with him as my nephew went into the house to get away from him. The whole situation seemed to be totally unprovoked as I was ther when it happened and was shocked by my husband...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I just got back from a lovely weekend away at my son's tennis tournament. We both felt ill this AM, I think we're dehydrated and tired. He lost his match this AM so we drove home today. AH has been hiding in his office all day, as usual. We got along for the most part on the phone but what's been driving me c...

willowtree · willowtree

I haven't talked with my mom for 5 years and I really needed that time to heal and take care of myself. I have been attending alanon meetings for a year now and am making lots of progress. I saw my mom the other day at an event and asked her to come over to sit by me, I just felt this huge compassion for her. Sh...

georgem · georgem

Good evening all, Tonight is not a good night. I keep working my program and I keep trying to fix my problems. But I am at a point that I don't know if it's working anymore. I try so hard to keep things in check and if I have a slip I try to correct it right away. Well last week I was told by my A G/F (who is in AA) that...

leeranger · leeranger

Hello! I have been married for 6 years. My husband is an alcoholic. He had been to rehab and was sober for a year when we got married. He kept his sobriety for 6 years and started drinking again last year. He goes on benders where he will drink massive amounts of alcohol for a few days and then will be ashamed...

Findinghope · Findinghope

It's been only a few days since I've written. I came off a great weekend -- spent some quality time with my AH outside and managed not to nag/bother/ask him about his relapse last week. Went to an Alanon meeting and found it really comforting. My anxiety lessened significantly, mostly because I think I...

callmemara · callmemara

Woops! Something triggered in me last night. We had discussed getting chinese and renting a movie, in fact it was his idea. I waited and waited. Finally texted him after 2 hours and he said he'd be home in 5 mins. 4 hours later he stumbles in drunk. I usually do a good job at being nice, not rocking the boat,...

dragonflys · dragonflys

My AH has been gone for about a month now. I am trying to figure out what I need to do to get better and continue to move forward in my recovery. My son seems like he is happier and says he is no longer suicidal. He hasnt been talking much this past week, so I have been getting nervous and worrying about him....

PP · PP

What does it feel like to feel detached? My husband, who has been in recovery for 3 years, has been asking me for a few days what is "wrong"...his description is "subdued". I feel different. Typically I am the one wanting to talk, trying to establish a connection, but I am in a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My husband's 70th birthday went well but because I have high expectations I was a little let down. It was "his'" party & I almost made it about me. I am so sorry that I can't just enjoy myself w/o making something out of nothing. So, today is his actual birthday. I am so glad his health has im...

beckylee · beckylee

How badly, I want this to be true. I'm feeling positive about my life again. Its scary and exciting too. All my life. I've needed so badly to control people and situations. I used all my energy to try to force things to happen. They almost always ended in disappointment. I have given surrender a try for on...

Daisy Girl · Daisy Girl

Both kids are out of the house today- happy with friends. The laundry was taken care of earlier in the week. The house is clean enough for today. Ordering pizza for dinner. A whole day just for me!! I worked on my art... something I haven't had the desire or inspiration to touch in almost two months. I tur...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Today while I was shopping in a shopping centre, with 2 of my children, a fight broke out between a man and a woman. We were standing in a bakery, when the yelling and cursing started. My God, I've never heard anything like it before in public. They just didn't seem to care. The shop assistant and othe...

rehprof · rehprof

So, the exA just got about 50K of my retirement in the divorce. He's back from Vegas..bought us a big-screen TV, bought 10 year old new $70 Baseball glove (on sale), bought 15 year old a food de-hydrator (bc I mentioned he wanted one for his b-day in august) bought himself a new camera, and yesterday boug...

marycontrary · marycontrary

Hi folks. I am mary ann. I saw the nice video John posted in the sticky department and thought this might be a place to go. I have an alcoholic abusive husband. my husband and i have been together sin 1983. Been married and raised our sons to adulthood for the last 25 years. I went to an al anon meeting about 2...

Smukke · Smukke

Hi all, I thought a lot about my childhood and my AB today. Let me tell you about a situation I just had on the phone with him, as he is on a business trip in Asia right now. I told him I would love to communicate more with him about our sex life and I also suggested a relationship therapy session. After the conv...

Tigger · Tigger

I've been thinking about this a real lot lately, as this is a recurring theme in my relationship right now. My question for you is this: "How does one deal with conflicting needs in a healthy respectful way?" it often seems that my and my partner's needs clash, and while I am big oncompromise...

CDK · CDK

Hi everyone. Im doing some step worksheets from my local CODA website. I have been to 1 mtg in addition to al anon, and am looking forward to trying the steps. The part I am on is listing ways that my life reflects unmanagability. Currentlu working on "spirituality". I have been writing out m...

silent · silent

my son moved in with me last year in feb.he had been liveing out onhis own with freinds for 6 years when he came home to me in feb.he was very,very sick almost dead ,he is 26 y/o i rushed him to the er next day afer he moved back in he has severe sleep apnea and oxygen dropping down to 71,not even good scared me ,s...

pineapple · pineapple

Today is a religious holiday here. A left for the village at 9 am ¨to watch the procession¨. OK, that takes about 30 minutes. He wasn't home yet at 1 pm but I figured he was in a cantina drinking, not my business. A few minutes later our friend who was here doing some work came looking for me. He said someone...

Path to Serenity · Path to Serenity

I'm new to the forum and in a bit of a crisis. I'm a child of an alcoholic - my own struggles with life took me down a similar path = drugs. I thought I was better than my alcoholic Father in that I was functional. My 20yr son came to me one day and said "Mom, you're doing too much of this stuff". ...

Fina · Fina

~ PAIN ~:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain."Kahlil Gibran:~*~:. .:~*~:. ....

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

This weekend I got to spend some time with a Nice Guy. It was business, not romantic, but friendly and personal. I had forgotten what it was like to be around a "normal" person. I have my good girlfriends, but it was refreshing to talk to a man in a healthy way. He looked me in my eyes, didn't w...

mstee · mstee

I have been living with my husband for over 17 years as him being an alcholic! he stops then starts again.. i need help. he has loss jobs over this and friends. we have beautiful kids together and now it is effecting them.. he is a great husband and father when he isnt drinking. and he is refusing help!! i am...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	detachment-denial? (Preview) I had lunch with some friends today. After an hour or so one of them asked ¨And how is _ ?(A)¨ I said it had been a rough week and I didn't want to talk about it. He then said ¨we don't mean to pry, but we care about him. And more importantly we care about you.¨ Well, that opened the floodgates. I told them the l...	pineapple	12	853	Jun 18, 2012 by Debilyn
	Mum - A bit scattery (Preview) Hi,Here I am again with the same issue. My parents came to a school sports day to watch their grandchildren. While there Mum's mouth started flapping again. Yabbering on about various members of our family (not in a good way), telling me what I shared on facebook was a crock of bull****. Yesterda...	Tracey C	3	478	Jun 18, 2012 by Debilyn
	Trust issues in asking for sponsor (Preview) I have been going to meetings for a couple weeks now and they are helping so much. I would really like to get a sponsor at this point, but I am scared of (1) rejection and (2) another failed relationship. I do not trust myself to ask another woman who will be positive in my life. I don't trust my picker and I do...	Chaya	6	633	Jun 17, 2012 by Chaya
	Is it time for a different sponsor? (Preview) I have a wonderful sponsor that has been with me for about 4 years and I feel disloyal even raising this issue. Since I have never had a sponsor, I don't know how these relationships best work. Sometimes I feel like maybe it has traveled more into the friend realm and the boundaries might be a bit skewe...	PP	11	933	Jun 17, 2012 by abbyal
	Walk with me (Preview) My A son got word today that his best friend tried to commit suicide. He was in tears telling me about it and is currently at the hospital where the friend is on life-support. The friend has been going thru a crisis in his marriage - he came home to find the house empty - the wife had moved out with the two ch...	Path to Serenity	5	565	Jun 17, 2012 by ilovedogs
	More news, my mom is gone for 3 weeks (Preview) More news... After my last post I did not post for a while. I watched my mom miraculously go further downhill. She drank one night and then in the morning while still drunk she dropped a wine glass, cut her knuckles on it really bad. I had to rinse her hand and bandage it. itwas bleeding a lot, probably beca...	Shelliebear	4	631	Jun 16, 2012 by Jerry F
	Planning to move out (Preview) I don't think I have the energy to stay in this marriage now that I know he is an alcoholic. I am very sad but know that to stay would be a really bad move. He is a sweet drunk but I gotta get out. Without resources, I don't know where to go. Is there a clearinghouse for housing options...others who may wan...	Mwvd	4	591	Jun 16, 2012 by Mwvd
	Gratitude Family graditude (Preview) I am so happy today. My daughter is in town visiting. It's so strange. That only now, that this life change has happened. That I see clearly. I feel like Im coming out of a strange haze. I had been living in. I never realizied how my life had shrunk. Living with the Alcoholic. I am seeing my children in a whol...	beckylee	3	474	Jun 16, 2012 by PP
	Sister assaulted me (Preview) Hello all, I was at my nieces graduation from highschool and afterwords there was a party for the graduatels at my sisters(the alcoholic) friends house. I was helping to get the food ready and my sister said something rude. I could tell how the day was going to go so my daughter and I left to avoid a drunke...	Jenv	13	898	Jun 16, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	The crazy move and settling in (Preview) I have been coming and reading and occassionaly responding, but been crazy busy getting us unpacked and still have a bit to go. I left the island I lived on Sunday night and have moved to the main land where I know not a sole with my 2 girls for those who don't know me. I took my girls to see their dad today for t...	Breakingfree	3	663	Jun 16, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	HELP ME! (Preview) I have been with my husband for 16 years and it has been a very rocky road. He has gone as long as 2years sober before he began having weekend drinking binges. He has started drinking more lately and I am noticing the affect it has on my children. My 12 year old daughter has so much anger built up inside of her...	QueenK	6	508	Jun 16, 2012 by QueenK
	On cloud 9 till lighting striked again! but I got up! Just want you guys to hear my battle (Preview) The pain I have inside is excruating. I have been on an all time high and happiness from not hearing from my ex the past 2 weeks. The last I heard from him he wanted to hang out and i didnt want to see him, he called me saying he was at the beach with his friends and he was with his baby mama instead (he lied to me) a...	Julie3310	13	720	Jun 16, 2012 by PP
	Feeling like I'm crazy!!! (Preview) My exhusband and I have agreed to try to work things out if he stays sober. He is currently in a residential correctional facility. Everything seemed to be going well until I told him I was going out with my sister to a street dance to celebrate my birthday and I would probably drink. I'm not a big drinker m...	Kath72	4	561	Jun 16, 2012 by Jerry F
	I Have Lost My Best Friend (Preview) My beloved 16 year old puppy died on Sunday. She has been my faithful, loyal loving friend in the midst of all the craziness in my life she was the constant that keep me grounded and always always loved me unconditionally. I am devastated. It is taking all my strenght simply to get out of bed and go on. Just...	surfgirl123	13	1106	Jun 16, 2012 by callmemara
	working the steps? (Preview) I hear "work the steps" a lot. Is there a workbook or something? Thanks!	callmemara	3	823	Jun 16, 2012 by Tigger
	TRUST (Preview) I need some help figuring myself out today. When my husband and I were separated for about 2 months in February, my son overheard a call that his dad received and became suspicious and mentioned it to me. I made a note of the day and time and went digging. I found out that the number belonged to a young girl...	WornOutMrsFixIt	12	732	Jun 16, 2012 by orchidlover
	some anxiety but that is just me! (Preview) Just a little bit, just a little bit of anxiety today. I am doing better even w/ the pain! I am so fortunate that the doctors know what they are doing. I just wish I had private insurance of some kind. I am taking each test one at a time. I can only afford what I can afford these days. I can't spend what I have &am...	Hoot Nanny	3	403	Jun 16, 2012 by orchidlover
	Trying to stay in the moment... (Preview) Hi everyone. :) Im working HARD TODAY at staying in the moment. Ive had some struggles with my best friend in addition to leaving my A. She turned on me, and fussed at me for being upset only two weeks later. In addition to that, she called him and asked him to be part of an art show. While, she certainly has t...	CDK	9	719	Jun 15, 2012 by glad lee
	EXPERIENCE of letting go (Preview) I have been attending Al Anon meetings for several years and have said to myself and others many times Let Go and Let God. This morning I had an experience where I got it...it is even hard to put it into words. As I mentioned in earlier posts, my husband's recovery program is Celebrate Recovery, which i...	PP	3	546	Jun 15, 2012 by PP
	I want my partner to make more time for me!!! (Preview) Hey all, So I am in a long distance relationship with someone who is coming to visit me on Saturday! I'm totally stoked but... They have made other plans while they are here to see other friends of theres, and emailed me a very detailed schedule of when they are and aren't available. It bummed me out becau...	jorjorjor	6	760	Jun 15, 2012 by PP
	still bothers me?????????? (Preview) i dont understand why its even bothering me that my ex a has blocked me from his f/b,i had already defreinded him a long way back but ive found out y he blocked me is because i had this freind of his on my face book and his cell ph,has been down or out of mins for a long time now that he has it back on,so i cant see wh...	silent	10	767	Jun 15, 2012 by Oksie
	How do I stop this? (Preview) Hey, all.... haven't been here in a while as I've been incredibly busy (in a good way!). I've been stewing about something for a while now, wondering what the heck is up with my head, and just yesterday in C2C the reading said something to the effect of being open to the guidance of the people around me -...	ythannah	10	735	Jun 15, 2012 by ythannah
	Exercises in self-care (Preview) I was feeling really icky yesterday morning, and I know a lot of it was a sort of "oooh, I want someone to love me!" kind of ickyness. I'm real grateful for my Al-Anon program and tools, however, because even when I was feeling all blah I knew immediately that I need not wait for someone outside...	Aloha	6	1526	Jun 15, 2012 by Chaya
	A/A daughter gone "mad" (Preview) Several family members called to ask me if I had read what my daughter wrote about me on facebook, also her deceased father. They were very upset and angry at her esp. my son, who is also a/a, but functioning at a higher level currently. I guess H/P (God) protected me from reading it because I was unable...	Highlyfavored	3	586	Jun 14, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	Update on "son facing jail time" Court was yesterday..... (Preview) A son (by the Grace of God) is not in jail..... The prosecutor really wanted him to spend 60 days of a 1 year sentence incarcerated. We found that out several days before the trial when his attorney spoke to her. Son's attorney told him to get his affairs in order as he would go straight to jail from the tria...	Gailey	4	611	Jun 14, 2012 by pinkchip
	Struggling in Trust.... (Preview) OK, So... I have Been Battling a "Trust" issue, and Everytime it is Brought Up I Find myself slipping back to Old habits of Judgement, Control... Now I have been Working My Program the Best I Can Squeeze into the Crazy Schedule I Call life, and I have been Asking HP to Show Me how to Forgive Thos...	Jozie	6	553	Jun 14, 2012 by Jozie
	chapter nine meeting in cobble hill, brooklyn, ny (Preview) i went online to http://chapter9-nyc.org/beta/meetings.html and found us a chapter nine meeting last night. we drove all the way there to find an empty church. it was really really frustrating. why would they have that meeting listed on the website if the meeting was closed?!?!	thanku	1	4572	Jun 14, 2012 by Pushka
	Today was a good day, it does get better! (Preview) Hello All - second time I've typed this because my pc went away for a second, ha, but that's all it takes sometimes! Today was a good day. I took my daughter and her friend to a saturday market on sunday; great great GREAT weather - man it was about perfect weather, did I say it was great? Lots of people, thin...	likemyheart	2	488	Jun 14, 2012 by jorjorjor
	Blaming v annoyance (Preview) I'm wondering if anyone has an idea about what is blaming behaviour and what is just being or feeling annoyed about something someone does. I'm trying to sort this out in my own head. I think the program says that to blame someone is not keeping the focus on me and my own self responsibility. Out of fear I h...	Tigger	9	805	Jun 14, 2012 by jorjorjor
	Im Lost & Scared (Preview) Hey all... My partner decided to get give up the alcohol about 4 weeks ago, Said he would get help by going to AA meetings, couselling etc. Still to this day he has made no effort to get the help, making any phone calls or going to AA groups. I asked him twice in the last 4 weeks if he has rang to book an appt and...	Ashley89	6	625	Jun 14, 2012 by jorjorjor
	Moving Back (Preview) It has been one year and four days since my loved one entered rehab and quickly relapsed. I set a very strict boundary that for the longest time seemed so unfair. "If you drink again, I am gone" He drank, I literally packed up everything I owned and moved 3 hours away. That was 9 months ago and in...	CountryGirl	5	584	Jun 14, 2012 by CountryGirl
	yup, I am messed up. (Preview) Hello everyone. I am so freaking happy to be here. This is my first post and I just need to be really honest and up front about my defects. I have been in alanon for about a year now and attend 2 meetings a week. I have been able to find great support in the program but am coming up against a block. Here is...	hope4ever	13	874	Jun 14, 2012 by orchidlover
	my feelings for my ex a (Preview) im haveing a diff. veiw of my ex a today after talking toa girl on my f/b about him that he had been trying to hook up with,but she told me that everytime she or he called her he would be drunk and would tell off on himself we we became freinds,which is good she is a very sweet person a has a good head on her should...	silent	7	690	Jun 13, 2012 by Aloha
	Question (Preview) Has anyone tried EFT (emotional freedom technique-tapping) I have heard it is really helpful. I have tried it some but didn't feel to much of a difference. I am confused because Alanon teaches that we have to surrender and yet EFT teaches that we can tap and help our body release these negative ener...	willowtree	7	603	Jun 13, 2012 by willowtree
	A Cautionary Tale (Preview) I'm probably older than most anybody on here. Today I was thinking I may have 12 or 15 years left. No guarantees with that, of course. And I got to thinking about how I want to live these next years--however many are given to me. Mind you, in my head I don't feel any different than the youngest of you. Bu...	Temple	11	814	Jun 13, 2012 by GailMichelle
	WEDNESDAY, FRIDAY AND SUNDAY NIGHT MEETINGS WEEK OF 6/11 (Preview) I'm moving back to the states Wednesday and am not sure about access to the internet or what I'll be doing the rest of this week. Will you all make an effort to cover for me for these three meetings? Thanks. Fina.	Fina	4	434	Jun 13, 2012 by Overcome
	Abuse prevention order? (Preview) We had a bad episode two weeks ago. My AH became agressive towards our 17 year old nephew who lives with us and later became physical with him as my nephew went into the house to get away from him. The whole situation seemed to be totally unprovoked as I was ther when it happened and was shocked by my husband...	Olive	8	764	Jun 13, 2012 by Olive
	He's really nice and sorry all the time (Preview) I just got back from a lovely weekend away at my son's tennis tournament. We both felt ill this AM, I think we're dehydrated and tired. He lost his match this AM so we drove home today. AH has been hiding in his office all day, as usual. We got along for the most part on the phone but what's been driving me c...	ilovedogs	4	593	Jun 13, 2012 by sookie
	Recent contact with her (Preview) I haven't talked with my mom for 5 years and I really needed that time to heal and take care of myself. I have been attending alanon meetings for a year now and am making lots of progress. I saw my mom the other day at an event and asked her to come over to sit by me, I just felt this huge compassion for her. Sh...	willowtree	6	701	Jun 12, 2012 by willowtree
	Hopeless (Preview) Good evening all, Tonight is not a good night. I keep working my program and I keep trying to fix my problems. But I am at a point that I don't know if it's working anymore. I try so hard to keep things in check and if I have a slip I try to correct it right away. Well last week I was told by my A G/F (who is in AA) that...	georgem	10	1036	Jun 12, 2012 by Pushka
	New here - husband is an alcoholic. (Preview) Hello! I have been married for 6 years. My husband is an alcoholic. He had been to rehab and was sober for a year when we got married. He kept his sobriety for 6 years and started drinking again last year. He goes on benders where he will drink massive amounts of alcohol for a few days and then will be ashamed...	leeranger	9	733	Jun 12, 2012 by orchidlover
	Tough time this morning (Preview) It's been only a few days since I've written. I came off a great weekend -- spent some quality time with my AH outside and managed not to nag/bother/ask him about his relapse last week. Went to an Alanon meeting and found it really comforting. My anxiety lessened significantly, mostly because I think I...	Findinghope	6	621	Jun 12, 2012 by Pushka
	How to have a healthy me despite an unhealthy marriage? (Preview) Woops! Something triggered in me last night. We had discussed getting chinese and renting a movie, in fact it was his idea. I waited and waited. Finally texted him after 2 hours and he said he'd be home in 5 mins. 4 hours later he stumbles in drunk. I usually do a good job at being nice, not rocking the boat,...	callmemara	11	2443	Jun 12, 2012 by orchidlover
	Cutting the isolation and figuring out who I am (Preview) My AH has been gone for about a month now. I am trying to figure out what I need to do to get better and continue to move forward in my recovery. My son seems like he is happier and says he is no longer suicidal. He hasnt been talking much this past week, so I have been getting nervous and worrying about him....	dragonflys	6	675	Jun 12, 2012 by orchidlover
	Detachment? (Preview) What does it feel like to feel detached? My husband, who has been in recovery for 3 years, has been asking me for a few days what is "wrong"...his description is "subdued". I feel different. Typically I am the one wanting to talk, trying to establish a connection, but I am in a...	PP	9	1211	Jun 12, 2012 by PP
	Party went pretty well! (Preview) My husband's 70th birthday went well but because I have high expectations I was a little let down. It was "his'" party & I almost made it about me. I am so sorry that I can't just enjoy myself w/o making something out of nothing. So, today is his actual birthday. I am so glad his health has im...	Hoot Nanny	2	386	Jun 12, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	How Becky Got Her Groove Back surrender (Preview) How badly, I want this to be true. I'm feeling positive about my life again. Its scary and exciting too. All my life. I've needed so badly to control people and situations. I used all my energy to try to force things to happen. They almost always ended in disappointment. I have given surrender a try for on...	beckylee	6	7354	Jun 12, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Taking care of me (finally) (Preview) Both kids are out of the house today- happy with friends. The laundry was taken care of earlier in the week. The house is clean enough for today. Ordering pizza for dinner. A whole day just for me!! I worked on my art... something I haven't had the desire or inspiration to touch in almost two months. I tur...	Daisy Girl	6	404	Jun 12, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Shopping (Preview) Today while I was shopping in a shopping centre, with 2 of my children, a fight broke out between a man and a woman. We were standing in a bakery, when the yelling and cursing started. My God, I've never heard anything like it before in public. They just didn't seem to care. The shop assistant and othe...	Tracey C	1	358	Jun 12, 2012 by Jackie11
	He's in the money! (Preview) So, the exA just got about 50K of my retirement in the divorce. He's back from Vegas..bought us a big-screen TV, bought 10 year old new $70 Baseball glove (on sale), bought 15 year old a food de-hydrator (bc I mentioned he wanted one for his b-day in august) bought himself a new camera, and yesterday boug...	rehprof	9	794	Jun 12, 2012 by GailMichelle
	just now stumbling in (Preview) Hi folks. I am mary ann. I saw the nice video John posted in the sticky department and thought this might be a place to go. I have an alcoholic abusive husband. my husband and i have been together sin 1983. Been married and raised our sons to adulthood for the last 25 years. I went to an al anon meeting about 2...	marycontrary	9	691	Jun 12, 2012 by marycontrary
	Roles (Preview) Hi all, I thought a lot about my childhood and my AB today. Let me tell you about a situation I just had on the phone with him, as he is on a business trip in Asia right now. I told him I would love to communicate more with him about our sex life and I also suggested a relationship therapy session. After the conv...	Smukke	4	446	Jun 12, 2012 by Smukke
	Conflicting needs (Preview) I've been thinking about this a real lot lately, as this is a recurring theme in my relationship right now. My question for you is this: "How does one deal with conflicting needs in a healthy respectful way?" it often seems that my and my partner's needs clash, and while I am big oncompromise...	Tigger	2	418	Jun 12, 2012 by Temple
	Unmanageability: Spirituality (Preview) Hi everyone. Im doing some step worksheets from my local CODA website. I have been to 1 mtg in addition to al anon, and am looking forward to trying the steps. The part I am on is listing ways that my life reflects unmanagability. Currentlu working on "spirituality". I have been writing out m...	CDK	6	921	Jun 12, 2012 by Oksie
	helping my son (Preview) my son moved in with me last year in feb.he had been liveing out onhis own with freinds for 6 years when he came home to me in feb.he was very,very sick almost dead ,he is 26 y/o i rushed him to the er next day afer he moved back in he has severe sleep apnea and oxygen dropping down to 71,not even good scared me ,s...	silent	5	572	Jun 12, 2012 by silent
	Can I (and should I) give up this particular form of ¨saving him¨? (Preview) Today is a religious holiday here. A left for the village at 9 am ¨to watch the procession¨. OK, that takes about 30 minutes. He wasn't home yet at 1 pm but I figured he was in a cantina drinking, not my business. A few minutes later our friend who was here doing some work came looking for me. He said someone...	pineapple	13	552	Jun 11, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Blind Sided (Preview) I'm new to the forum and in a bit of a crisis. I'm a child of an alcoholic - my own struggles with life took me down a similar path = drugs. I thought I was better than my alcoholic Father in that I was functional. My 20yr son came to me one day and said "Mom, you're doing too much of this stuff". ...	Path to Serenity	6	678	Jun 11, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	PAIN (Preview) ~ PAIN ~:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain."Kahlil Gibran:~~:. .:~*~:. ....	Fina	1	409	Jun 11, 2012 by CDK
	Mr. Nice Guy, AH texts, and yep letting go! (Preview) This weekend I got to spend some time with a Nice Guy. It was business, not romantic, but friendly and personal. I had forgotten what it was like to be around a "normal" person. I have my good girlfriends, but it was refreshing to talk to a man in a healthy way. He looked me in my eyes, didn't w...	Dolly Llama	5	647	Jun 11, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	married to an alcholic! i need advice (Preview) I have been living with my husband for over 17 years as him being an alcholic! he stops then starts again.. i need help. he has loss jobs over this and friends. we have beautiful kids together and now it is effecting them.. he is a great husband and father when he isnt drinking. and he is refusing help!! i am...	mstee	4	614	Jun 11, 2012 by littlehawk
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.