Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

CDK · CDK

Hi everyone. :) Im working HARD TODAY at staying in the moment. Ive had some struggles with my best friend in addition to leaving my A. She turned on me, and fussed at me for being upset only two weeks later. In addition to that, she called him and asked him to be part of an art show. While, she certainly has t...

PP · PP

I have been attending Al Anon meetings for several years and have said to myself and others many times Let Go and Let God. This morning I had an experience where I got it...it is even hard to put it into words. As I mentioned in earlier posts, my husband's recovery program is Celebrate Recovery, which i...

jorjorjor · jorjorjor

Hey all, So I am in a long distance relationship with someone who is coming to visit me on Saturday! I'm totally stoked but... They have made other plans while they are here to see other friends of theres, and emailed me a very detailed schedule of when they are and aren't available. It bummed me out becau...

silent · silent

i dont understand why its even bothering me that my ex a has blocked me from his f/b,i had already defreinded him a long way back but ive found out y he blocked me is because i had this freind of his on my face book and his cell ph,has been down or out of mins for a long time now that he has it back on,so i cant see wh...

ythannah · ythannah

Hey, all.... haven't been here in a while as I've been incredibly busy (in a good way!). I've been stewing about something for a while now, wondering what the heck is up with my head, and just yesterday in C2C the reading said something to the effect of being open to the guidance of the people around me -...

Aloha · Aloha

I was feeling really icky yesterday morning, and I know a lot of it was a sort of "oooh, I want someone to love me!" kind of ickyness. I'm real grateful for my Al-Anon program and tools, however, because even when I was feeling all blah I knew immediately that I need not wait for someone outside...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Several family members called to ask me if I had read what my daughter wrote about me on facebook, also her deceased father. They were very upset and angry at her esp. my son, who is also a/a, but functioning at a higher level currently. I guess H/P (God) protected me from reading it because I was unable...

Gailey · Gailey

A son (by the Grace of God) is not in jail..... The prosecutor really wanted him to spend 60 days of a 1 year sentence incarcerated. We found that out several days before the trial when his attorney spoke to her. Son's attorney told him to get his affairs in order as he would go straight to jail from the tria...

Jozie · Jozie

OK, So... I have Been Battling a "Trust" issue, and Everytime it is Brought Up I Find myself slipping back to Old habits of Judgement, Control... Now I have been Working My Program the Best I Can Squeeze into the Crazy Schedule I Call life, and I have been Asking HP to Show Me how to Forgive Thos...

thanku · thanku

i went online to http://chapter9-nyc.org/beta/meetings.html and found us a chapter nine meeting last night. we drove all the way there to find an empty church. it was really really frustrating. why would they have that meeting listed on the website if the meeting was closed?!?!

likemyheart · likemyheart

Hello All - second time I've typed this because my pc went away for a second, ha, but that's all it takes sometimes! Today was a good day. I took my daughter and her friend to a saturday market on sunday; great great GREAT weather - man it was about perfect weather, did I say it was great? Lots of people, thin...

Tigger · Tigger

I'm wondering if anyone has an idea about what is blaming behaviour and what is just being or feeling annoyed about something someone does. I'm trying to sort this out in my own head. I think the program says that to blame someone is not keeping the focus on me and my own self responsibility. Out of fear I h...

Ashley89 · Ashley89

Hey all... My partner decided to get give up the alcohol about 4 weeks ago, Said he would get help by going to AA meetings, couselling etc. Still to this day he has made no effort to get the help, making any phone calls or going to AA groups. I asked him twice in the last 4 weeks if he has rang to book an appt and...

CountryGirl · CountryGirl

It has been one year and four days since my loved one entered rehab and quickly relapsed. I set a very strict boundary that for the longest time seemed so unfair. "If you drink again, I am gone" He drank, I literally packed up everything I owned and moved 3 hours away. That was 9 months ago and in...

hope4ever · hope4ever

Hello everyone. I am so freaking happy to be here. This is my first post and I just need to be really honest and up front about my defects. I have been in alanon for about a year now and attend 2 meetings a week. I have been able to find great support in the program but am coming up against a block. Here is...

silent · silent

im haveing a diff. veiw of my ex a today after talking toa girl on my f/b about him that he had been trying to hook up with,but she told me that everytime she or he called her he would be drunk and would tell off on himself we we became freinds,which is good she is a very sweet person a has a good head on her should...

willowtree · willowtree

Has anyone tried EFT (emotional freedom technique-tapping) I have heard it is really helpful. I have tried it some but didn't feel to much of a difference. I am confused because Alanon teaches that we have to surrender and yet EFT teaches that we can tap and help our body release these negative ener...

Temple · Temple

I'm probably older than most anybody on here. Today I was thinking I may have 12 or 15 years left. No guarantees with that, of course. And I got to thinking about how I want to live these next years--however many are given to me. Mind you, in my head I don't feel any different than the youngest of you. Bu...

Fina · Fina

I'm moving back to the states Wednesday and am not sure about access to the internet or what I'll be doing the rest of this week. Will you all make an effort to cover for me for these three meetings? Thanks. Fina.

Olive · Olive

We had a bad episode two weeks ago. My AH became agressive towards our 17 year old nephew who lives with us and later became physical with him as my nephew went into the house to get away from him. The whole situation seemed to be totally unprovoked as I was ther when it happened and was shocked by my husband...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I just got back from a lovely weekend away at my son's tennis tournament. We both felt ill this AM, I think we're dehydrated and tired. He lost his match this AM so we drove home today. AH has been hiding in his office all day, as usual. We got along for the most part on the phone but what's been driving me c...

willowtree · willowtree

I haven't talked with my mom for 5 years and I really needed that time to heal and take care of myself. I have been attending alanon meetings for a year now and am making lots of progress. I saw my mom the other day at an event and asked her to come over to sit by me, I just felt this huge compassion for her. Sh...

georgem · georgem

Good evening all, Tonight is not a good night. I keep working my program and I keep trying to fix my problems. But I am at a point that I don't know if it's working anymore. I try so hard to keep things in check and if I have a slip I try to correct it right away. Well last week I was told by my A G/F (who is in AA) that...

leeranger · leeranger

Hello! I have been married for 6 years. My husband is an alcoholic. He had been to rehab and was sober for a year when we got married. He kept his sobriety for 6 years and started drinking again last year. He goes on benders where he will drink massive amounts of alcohol for a few days and then will be ashamed...

Findinghope · Findinghope

It's been only a few days since I've written. I came off a great weekend -- spent some quality time with my AH outside and managed not to nag/bother/ask him about his relapse last week. Went to an Alanon meeting and found it really comforting. My anxiety lessened significantly, mostly because I think I...

callmemara · callmemara

Woops! Something triggered in me last night. We had discussed getting chinese and renting a movie, in fact it was his idea. I waited and waited. Finally texted him after 2 hours and he said he'd be home in 5 mins. 4 hours later he stumbles in drunk. I usually do a good job at being nice, not rocking the boat,...

dragonflys · dragonflys

My AH has been gone for about a month now. I am trying to figure out what I need to do to get better and continue to move forward in my recovery. My son seems like he is happier and says he is no longer suicidal. He hasnt been talking much this past week, so I have been getting nervous and worrying about him....

PP · PP

What does it feel like to feel detached? My husband, who has been in recovery for 3 years, has been asking me for a few days what is "wrong"...his description is "subdued". I feel different. Typically I am the one wanting to talk, trying to establish a connection, but I am in a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My husband's 70th birthday went well but because I have high expectations I was a little let down. It was "his'" party & I almost made it about me. I am so sorry that I can't just enjoy myself w/o making something out of nothing. So, today is his actual birthday. I am so glad his health has im...

beckylee · beckylee

How badly, I want this to be true. I'm feeling positive about my life again. Its scary and exciting too. All my life. I've needed so badly to control people and situations. I used all my energy to try to force things to happen. They almost always ended in disappointment. I have given surrender a try for on...

Daisy Girl · Daisy Girl

Both kids are out of the house today- happy with friends. The laundry was taken care of earlier in the week. The house is clean enough for today. Ordering pizza for dinner. A whole day just for me!! I worked on my art... something I haven't had the desire or inspiration to touch in almost two months. I tur...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Today while I was shopping in a shopping centre, with 2 of my children, a fight broke out between a man and a woman. We were standing in a bakery, when the yelling and cursing started. My God, I've never heard anything like it before in public. They just didn't seem to care. The shop assistant and othe...

rehprof · rehprof

So, the exA just got about 50K of my retirement in the divorce. He's back from Vegas..bought us a big-screen TV, bought 10 year old new $70 Baseball glove (on sale), bought 15 year old a food de-hydrator (bc I mentioned he wanted one for his b-day in august) bought himself a new camera, and yesterday boug...

marycontrary · marycontrary

Hi folks. I am mary ann. I saw the nice video John posted in the sticky department and thought this might be a place to go. I have an alcoholic abusive husband. my husband and i have been together sin 1983. Been married and raised our sons to adulthood for the last 25 years. I went to an al anon meeting about 2...

Smukke · Smukke

Hi all, I thought a lot about my childhood and my AB today. Let me tell you about a situation I just had on the phone with him, as he is on a business trip in Asia right now. I told him I would love to communicate more with him about our sex life and I also suggested a relationship therapy session. After the conv...

Tigger · Tigger

I've been thinking about this a real lot lately, as this is a recurring theme in my relationship right now. My question for you is this: "How does one deal with conflicting needs in a healthy respectful way?" it often seems that my and my partner's needs clash, and while I am big oncompromise...

CDK · CDK

Hi everyone. Im doing some step worksheets from my local CODA website. I have been to 1 mtg in addition to al anon, and am looking forward to trying the steps. The part I am on is listing ways that my life reflects unmanagability. Currentlu working on "spirituality". I have been writing out m...

silent · silent

my son moved in with me last year in feb.he had been liveing out onhis own with freinds for 6 years when he came home to me in feb.he was very,very sick almost dead ,he is 26 y/o i rushed him to the er next day afer he moved back in he has severe sleep apnea and oxygen dropping down to 71,not even good scared me ,s...

pineapple · pineapple

Today is a religious holiday here. A left for the village at 9 am ¨to watch the procession¨. OK, that takes about 30 minutes. He wasn't home yet at 1 pm but I figured he was in a cantina drinking, not my business. A few minutes later our friend who was here doing some work came looking for me. He said someone...

Path to Serenity · Path to Serenity

I'm new to the forum and in a bit of a crisis. I'm a child of an alcoholic - my own struggles with life took me down a similar path = drugs. I thought I was better than my alcoholic Father in that I was functional. My 20yr son came to me one day and said "Mom, you're doing too much of this stuff". ...

Fina · Fina

~ PAIN ~:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain."Kahlil Gibran:~*~:. .:~*~:. ....

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

This weekend I got to spend some time with a Nice Guy. It was business, not romantic, but friendly and personal. I had forgotten what it was like to be around a "normal" person. I have my good girlfriends, but it was refreshing to talk to a man in a healthy way. He looked me in my eyes, didn't w...

mstee · mstee

I have been living with my husband for over 17 years as him being an alcholic! he stops then starts again.. i need help. he has loss jobs over this and friends. we have beautiful kids together and now it is effecting them.. he is a great husband and father when he isnt drinking. and he is refusing help!! i am...

mr5191 · mr5191

As any who has read my bio, I have fought this monster for only a short period of time but have suffered so much of what this disease can bring. However, early last week, my wife suffered a brain hemorage as a result of untreated high blood pressure from her heavy drinking. Although she has regained a lo...

Oksie · Oksie

Hi I went away for a week for my work. My husband could not come with me as we couldn't afford the unpaid time off work for him. That meant me leaving him at home alone. I do not cope well with that for a variety of reasons. I spoke to my psychologist about it and she gave me some tips and also I used the steps a...

oldergal · oldergal

My ASon is drinking less lately, has a new relationship, but is not completely dry and not attending AA. I know about the 3C's. But I guess my fear is that tomorrow his wedding day "What If" he drinks too much, that keeps playing over and over again in my head. I know I have no control. I think it i...

privateshame · privateshame

Married 9 years, separated three. Two children, 8 and 9 who are now noticing. Not violent, just becomes rude and very snappy towards me. I can't reply.....sometimes I try, and he says it will stop. It doesn't. I'm lonely, as he's not always the same. He's three hours late from work, I know where he is. He...

Chaya · Chaya

Today realized a new way that my codependency harms me. I was getting upset today at work about one of the clients in our drug treatment program who we suspect is selling out in the parking lot. Now it's simple, you get caught selling you get discharged. However, I started getting upbout or him about his...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I got a call from my ex-A today. I let it go to voice mail cuz I was out with my current partner having lunch. The ex stated he wanted to talk about his latest book he is writing. He writes when drinking and sometimes it comes out pretty decent, but none of it is going to win a pulitzer or anything. That wou...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hi all. I had a really cool experience yesterday. I went to an intuitive medium. I know I know, I wasn't a big believer in that kind of stuff but I was curious so I gave it a shot. She knew SO much about me and the things Im going through. It was beyond cool. She gave me some more confirmation that ending my rela...

Fina · Fina

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~"You will either step forward into growth, or you will step back into safety."Abraham Maslow:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~In my early years in program, one of my sponsors told me, "You're in a very wel...

Lalu · Lalu

I see meetings listed as "Mamas and Papas AFG". What does this mean??

CDK · CDK

It seems to be a fresh set of pain everyday. Ive really kind of lost track of time. Im really frustrated. Ive been sitting at home alone basically for 3 weeks. I leave only to go to the store, work, and meetings. I come home, and sit. I watch tv, and come here. This is no life. Its nothing but some kind of bubbl...

Lilac · Lilac

I hope I'm posting in the right place - this is the first time I've used a forum, so please forgive me if I get any of the ettiquette wrong. I just need to get something 'out there', before I break. My A woke me this morning with a query about copyright. I answered as best I could but apparently in the wrong ton...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It looks like...according to the doctors; that I have authritis. For those of you who have been following me for years, I am finally going to find a solution to my condition. They have not really officially diagnosed me as I have not been to the rhumatologist yet. I am anxious to find out what is up w/ me fo...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

My AH, Stephen, died last August of alcohol related conditions. But right now I am re-living the hell I went through this time last year.Try as I might to consign it to a box with tight fitting lid, it keeps rearing it's ugly head. It's the awful things that I flung at OH that keep springing to mind. I even s...

Lalu · Lalu

Today's topic in the book One Day at a Time in Al-Anon is about courtesy. To quote the passage: "The warmth and kidness of courtesy will take the sting out fo the resentments, and give dignity and importance to the members of my household, making them feel secure and loved." Today I had a p...

CDK · CDK

Hi everyone. (hugs) Well, Ive posted a lot about how I havent been able to eat or to sleep. Aaaand now Im sick. Body ache, fever, chills...the whole shebang. And it makes me think about some things. Self-care comes to mind. Ive done my best, but my lack of self care got me here for sure. Lesson in that for...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I know that expectations are something in Al-Anon we have to really recognize and come to terms with. When we place expectations on others and they aren't met, it's a source of frustration. I find myself still working on the expectations for myself and just when I think I've recognized them and can id...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I have been exhausted for years. I have come, slowly, to believe that it is because I am still being actively controlled and abused by my aging parents who have always projected their chaos, anxiety, blame, etc onto me. As they age and are aware that I know the deal now, they are getting even more contro...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Trying to stay in the moment... (Preview) Hi everyone. :) Im working HARD TODAY at staying in the moment. Ive had some struggles with my best friend in addition to leaving my A. She turned on me, and fussed at me for being upset only two weeks later. In addition to that, she called him and asked him to be part of an art show. While, she certainly has t...	CDK	9	695	Jun 15, 2012 by glad lee
	EXPERIENCE of letting go (Preview) I have been attending Al Anon meetings for several years and have said to myself and others many times Let Go and Let God. This morning I had an experience where I got it...it is even hard to put it into words. As I mentioned in earlier posts, my husband's recovery program is Celebrate Recovery, which i...	PP	3	521	Jun 15, 2012 by PP
	I want my partner to make more time for me!!! (Preview) Hey all, So I am in a long distance relationship with someone who is coming to visit me on Saturday! I'm totally stoked but... They have made other plans while they are here to see other friends of theres, and emailed me a very detailed schedule of when they are and aren't available. It bummed me out becau...	jorjorjor	6	737	Jun 15, 2012 by PP
	still bothers me?????????? (Preview) i dont understand why its even bothering me that my ex a has blocked me from his f/b,i had already defreinded him a long way back but ive found out y he blocked me is because i had this freind of his on my face book and his cell ph,has been down or out of mins for a long time now that he has it back on,so i cant see wh...	silent	10	744	Jun 15, 2012 by Oksie
	How do I stop this? (Preview) Hey, all.... haven't been here in a while as I've been incredibly busy (in a good way!). I've been stewing about something for a while now, wondering what the heck is up with my head, and just yesterday in C2C the reading said something to the effect of being open to the guidance of the people around me -...	ythannah	10	708	Jun 15, 2012 by ythannah
	Exercises in self-care (Preview) I was feeling really icky yesterday morning, and I know a lot of it was a sort of "oooh, I want someone to love me!" kind of ickyness. I'm real grateful for my Al-Anon program and tools, however, because even when I was feeling all blah I knew immediately that I need not wait for someone outside...	Aloha	6	1502	Jun 15, 2012 by Chaya
	A/A daughter gone "mad" (Preview) Several family members called to ask me if I had read what my daughter wrote about me on facebook, also her deceased father. They were very upset and angry at her esp. my son, who is also a/a, but functioning at a higher level currently. I guess H/P (God) protected me from reading it because I was unable...	Highlyfavored	3	563	Jun 14, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	Update on "son facing jail time" Court was yesterday..... (Preview) A son (by the Grace of God) is not in jail..... The prosecutor really wanted him to spend 60 days of a 1 year sentence incarcerated. We found that out several days before the trial when his attorney spoke to her. Son's attorney told him to get his affairs in order as he would go straight to jail from the tria...	Gailey	4	589	Jun 14, 2012 by pinkchip
	Struggling in Trust.... (Preview) OK, So... I have Been Battling a "Trust" issue, and Everytime it is Brought Up I Find myself slipping back to Old habits of Judgement, Control... Now I have been Working My Program the Best I Can Squeeze into the Crazy Schedule I Call life, and I have been Asking HP to Show Me how to Forgive Thos...	Jozie	6	530	Jun 14, 2012 by Jozie
	chapter nine meeting in cobble hill, brooklyn, ny (Preview) i went online to http://chapter9-nyc.org/beta/meetings.html and found us a chapter nine meeting last night. we drove all the way there to find an empty church. it was really really frustrating. why would they have that meeting listed on the website if the meeting was closed?!?!	thanku	1	4263	Jun 14, 2012 by Pushka
	Today was a good day, it does get better! (Preview) Hello All - second time I've typed this because my pc went away for a second, ha, but that's all it takes sometimes! Today was a good day. I took my daughter and her friend to a saturday market on sunday; great great GREAT weather - man it was about perfect weather, did I say it was great? Lots of people, thin...	likemyheart	2	463	Jun 14, 2012 by jorjorjor
	Blaming v annoyance (Preview) I'm wondering if anyone has an idea about what is blaming behaviour and what is just being or feeling annoyed about something someone does. I'm trying to sort this out in my own head. I think the program says that to blame someone is not keeping the focus on me and my own self responsibility. Out of fear I h...	Tigger	9	779	Jun 14, 2012 by jorjorjor
	Im Lost & Scared (Preview) Hey all... My partner decided to get give up the alcohol about 4 weeks ago, Said he would get help by going to AA meetings, couselling etc. Still to this day he has made no effort to get the help, making any phone calls or going to AA groups. I asked him twice in the last 4 weeks if he has rang to book an appt and...	Ashley89	6	600	Jun 14, 2012 by jorjorjor
	Moving Back (Preview) It has been one year and four days since my loved one entered rehab and quickly relapsed. I set a very strict boundary that for the longest time seemed so unfair. "If you drink again, I am gone" He drank, I literally packed up everything I owned and moved 3 hours away. That was 9 months ago and in...	CountryGirl	5	559	Jun 14, 2012 by CountryGirl
	yup, I am messed up. (Preview) Hello everyone. I am so freaking happy to be here. This is my first post and I just need to be really honest and up front about my defects. I have been in alanon for about a year now and attend 2 meetings a week. I have been able to find great support in the program but am coming up against a block. Here is...	hope4ever	13	850	Jun 14, 2012 by orchidlover
	my feelings for my ex a (Preview) im haveing a diff. veiw of my ex a today after talking toa girl on my f/b about him that he had been trying to hook up with,but she told me that everytime she or he called her he would be drunk and would tell off on himself we we became freinds,which is good she is a very sweet person a has a good head on her should...	silent	7	665	Jun 13, 2012 by Aloha
	Question (Preview) Has anyone tried EFT (emotional freedom technique-tapping) I have heard it is really helpful. I have tried it some but didn't feel to much of a difference. I am confused because Alanon teaches that we have to surrender and yet EFT teaches that we can tap and help our body release these negative ener...	willowtree	7	577	Jun 13, 2012 by willowtree
	A Cautionary Tale (Preview) I'm probably older than most anybody on here. Today I was thinking I may have 12 or 15 years left. No guarantees with that, of course. And I got to thinking about how I want to live these next years--however many are given to me. Mind you, in my head I don't feel any different than the youngest of you. Bu...	Temple	11	790	Jun 13, 2012 by GailMichelle
	WEDNESDAY, FRIDAY AND SUNDAY NIGHT MEETINGS WEEK OF 6/11 (Preview) I'm moving back to the states Wednesday and am not sure about access to the internet or what I'll be doing the rest of this week. Will you all make an effort to cover for me for these three meetings? Thanks. Fina.	Fina	4	411	Jun 13, 2012 by Overcome
	Abuse prevention order? (Preview) We had a bad episode two weeks ago. My AH became agressive towards our 17 year old nephew who lives with us and later became physical with him as my nephew went into the house to get away from him. The whole situation seemed to be totally unprovoked as I was ther when it happened and was shocked by my husband...	Olive	8	737	Jun 13, 2012 by Olive
	He's really nice and sorry all the time (Preview) I just got back from a lovely weekend away at my son's tennis tournament. We both felt ill this AM, I think we're dehydrated and tired. He lost his match this AM so we drove home today. AH has been hiding in his office all day, as usual. We got along for the most part on the phone but what's been driving me c...	ilovedogs	4	572	Jun 13, 2012 by sookie
	Recent contact with her (Preview) I haven't talked with my mom for 5 years and I really needed that time to heal and take care of myself. I have been attending alanon meetings for a year now and am making lots of progress. I saw my mom the other day at an event and asked her to come over to sit by me, I just felt this huge compassion for her. Sh...	willowtree	6	673	Jun 12, 2012 by willowtree
	Hopeless (Preview) Good evening all, Tonight is not a good night. I keep working my program and I keep trying to fix my problems. But I am at a point that I don't know if it's working anymore. I try so hard to keep things in check and if I have a slip I try to correct it right away. Well last week I was told by my A G/F (who is in AA) that...	georgem	10	1009	Jun 12, 2012 by Pushka
	New here - husband is an alcoholic. (Preview) Hello! I have been married for 6 years. My husband is an alcoholic. He had been to rehab and was sober for a year when we got married. He kept his sobriety for 6 years and started drinking again last year. He goes on benders where he will drink massive amounts of alcohol for a few days and then will be ashamed...	leeranger	9	705	Jun 12, 2012 by orchidlover
	Tough time this morning (Preview) It's been only a few days since I've written. I came off a great weekend -- spent some quality time with my AH outside and managed not to nag/bother/ask him about his relapse last week. Went to an Alanon meeting and found it really comforting. My anxiety lessened significantly, mostly because I think I...	Findinghope	6	594	Jun 12, 2012 by Pushka
	How to have a healthy me despite an unhealthy marriage? (Preview) Woops! Something triggered in me last night. We had discussed getting chinese and renting a movie, in fact it was his idea. I waited and waited. Finally texted him after 2 hours and he said he'd be home in 5 mins. 4 hours later he stumbles in drunk. I usually do a good job at being nice, not rocking the boat,...	callmemara	11	2417	Jun 12, 2012 by orchidlover
	Cutting the isolation and figuring out who I am (Preview) My AH has been gone for about a month now. I am trying to figure out what I need to do to get better and continue to move forward in my recovery. My son seems like he is happier and says he is no longer suicidal. He hasnt been talking much this past week, so I have been getting nervous and worrying about him....	dragonflys	6	651	Jun 12, 2012 by orchidlover
	Detachment? (Preview) What does it feel like to feel detached? My husband, who has been in recovery for 3 years, has been asking me for a few days what is "wrong"...his description is "subdued". I feel different. Typically I am the one wanting to talk, trying to establish a connection, but I am in a...	PP	9	1188	Jun 12, 2012 by PP
	Party went pretty well! (Preview) My husband's 70th birthday went well but because I have high expectations I was a little let down. It was "his'" party & I almost made it about me. I am so sorry that I can't just enjoy myself w/o making something out of nothing. So, today is his actual birthday. I am so glad his health has im...	Hoot Nanny	2	361	Jun 12, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	How Becky Got Her Groove Back surrender (Preview) How badly, I want this to be true. I'm feeling positive about my life again. Its scary and exciting too. All my life. I've needed so badly to control people and situations. I used all my energy to try to force things to happen. They almost always ended in disappointment. I have given surrender a try for on...	beckylee	6	6803	Jun 12, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Taking care of me (finally) (Preview) Both kids are out of the house today- happy with friends. The laundry was taken care of earlier in the week. The house is clean enough for today. Ordering pizza for dinner. A whole day just for me!! I worked on my art... something I haven't had the desire or inspiration to touch in almost two months. I tur...	Daisy Girl	6	381	Jun 12, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Shopping (Preview) Today while I was shopping in a shopping centre, with 2 of my children, a fight broke out between a man and a woman. We were standing in a bakery, when the yelling and cursing started. My God, I've never heard anything like it before in public. They just didn't seem to care. The shop assistant and othe...	Tracey C	1	332	Jun 12, 2012 by Jackie11
	He's in the money! (Preview) So, the exA just got about 50K of my retirement in the divorce. He's back from Vegas..bought us a big-screen TV, bought 10 year old new $70 Baseball glove (on sale), bought 15 year old a food de-hydrator (bc I mentioned he wanted one for his b-day in august) bought himself a new camera, and yesterday boug...	rehprof	9	768	Jun 12, 2012 by GailMichelle
	just now stumbling in (Preview) Hi folks. I am mary ann. I saw the nice video John posted in the sticky department and thought this might be a place to go. I have an alcoholic abusive husband. my husband and i have been together sin 1983. Been married and raised our sons to adulthood for the last 25 years. I went to an al anon meeting about 2...	marycontrary	9	668	Jun 12, 2012 by marycontrary
	Roles (Preview) Hi all, I thought a lot about my childhood and my AB today. Let me tell you about a situation I just had on the phone with him, as he is on a business trip in Asia right now. I told him I would love to communicate more with him about our sex life and I also suggested a relationship therapy session. After the conv...	Smukke	4	415	Jun 12, 2012 by Smukke
	Conflicting needs (Preview) I've been thinking about this a real lot lately, as this is a recurring theme in my relationship right now. My question for you is this: "How does one deal with conflicting needs in a healthy respectful way?" it often seems that my and my partner's needs clash, and while I am big oncompromise...	Tigger	2	392	Jun 12, 2012 by Temple
	Unmanageability: Spirituality (Preview) Hi everyone. Im doing some step worksheets from my local CODA website. I have been to 1 mtg in addition to al anon, and am looking forward to trying the steps. The part I am on is listing ways that my life reflects unmanagability. Currentlu working on "spirituality". I have been writing out m...	CDK	6	896	Jun 12, 2012 by Oksie
	helping my son (Preview) my son moved in with me last year in feb.he had been liveing out onhis own with freinds for 6 years when he came home to me in feb.he was very,very sick almost dead ,he is 26 y/o i rushed him to the er next day afer he moved back in he has severe sleep apnea and oxygen dropping down to 71,not even good scared me ,s...	silent	5	550	Jun 12, 2012 by silent
	Can I (and should I) give up this particular form of ¨saving him¨? (Preview) Today is a religious holiday here. A left for the village at 9 am ¨to watch the procession¨. OK, that takes about 30 minutes. He wasn't home yet at 1 pm but I figured he was in a cantina drinking, not my business. A few minutes later our friend who was here doing some work came looking for me. He said someone...	pineapple	13	526	Jun 11, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Blind Sided (Preview) I'm new to the forum and in a bit of a crisis. I'm a child of an alcoholic - my own struggles with life took me down a similar path = drugs. I thought I was better than my alcoholic Father in that I was functional. My 20yr son came to me one day and said "Mom, you're doing too much of this stuff". ...	Path to Serenity	6	653	Jun 11, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	PAIN (Preview) ~ PAIN ~:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain."Kahlil Gibran:~~:. .:~*~:. ....	Fina	1	376	Jun 11, 2012 by CDK
	Mr. Nice Guy, AH texts, and yep letting go! (Preview) This weekend I got to spend some time with a Nice Guy. It was business, not romantic, but friendly and personal. I had forgotten what it was like to be around a "normal" person. I have my good girlfriends, but it was refreshing to talk to a man in a healthy way. He looked me in my eyes, didn't w...	Dolly Llama	5	623	Jun 11, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	married to an alcholic! i need advice (Preview) I have been living with my husband for over 17 years as him being an alcholic! he stops then starts again.. i need help. he has loss jobs over this and friends. we have beautiful kids together and now it is effecting them.. he is a great husband and father when he isnt drinking. and he is refusing help!! i am...	mstee	4	592	Jun 11, 2012 by littlehawk
	alcoholism battle is over (Preview) As any who has read my bio, I have fought this monster for only a short period of time but have suffered so much of what this disease can bring. However, early last week, my wife suffered a brain hemorage as a result of untreated high blood pressure from her heavy drinking. Although she has regained a lo...	mr5191	10	606	Jun 11, 2012 by Corgi2
	I went away (Preview) Hi I went away for a week for my work. My husband could not come with me as we couldn't afford the unpaid time off work for him. That meant me leaving him at home alone. I do not cope well with that for a variety of reasons. I spoke to my psychologist about it and she gave me some tips and also I used the steps a...	Oksie	5	651	Jun 11, 2012 by Pushka
	The "What If's" (Preview) My ASon is drinking less lately, has a new relationship, but is not completely dry and not attending AA. I know about the 3C's. But I guess my fear is that tomorrow his wedding day "What If" he drinks too much, that keeps playing over and over again in my head. I know I have no control. I think it i...	oldergal	4	606	Jun 11, 2012 by Oksie
	Why is this frightening? (Preview) Married 9 years, separated three. Two children, 8 and 9 who are now noticing. Not violent, just becomes rude and very snappy towards me. I can't reply.....sometimes I try, and he says it will stop. It doesn't. I'm lonely, as he's not always the same. He's three hours late from work, I know where he is. He...	privateshame	8	597	Jun 10, 2012 by privateshame
	Destructive eating (Preview) Today realized a new way that my codependency harms me. I was getting upset today at work about one of the clients in our drug treatment program who we suspect is selling out in the parking lot. Now it's simple, you get caught selling you get discharged. However, I started getting upbout or him about his...	Chaya	8	738	Jun 10, 2012 by Lucy 333
	Heard from my ex today. (Preview) I got a call from my ex-A today. I let it go to voice mail cuz I was out with my current partner having lunch. The ex stated he wanted to talk about his latest book he is writing. He writes when drinking and sometimes it comes out pretty decent, but none of it is going to win a pulitzer or anything. That wou...	pinkchip	12	787	Jun 10, 2012 by Lucy 333
	Intuition (Preview) Hi all. I had a really cool experience yesterday. I went to an intuitive medium. I know I know, I wasn't a big believer in that kind of stuff but I was curious so I gave it a shot. She knew SO much about me and the things Im going through. It was beyond cool. She gave me some more confirmation that ending my rela...	Corgi2	6	612	Jun 10, 2012 by maryjane
	COURAGE (Preview) :~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~"You will either step forward into growth, or you will step back into safety."Abraham Maslow:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~In my early years in program, one of my sponsors told me, "You're in a very wel...	Fina	2	326	Jun 10, 2012 by maryjane
	What does "Mamas and Papas" meeting mean?? (Preview) I see meetings listed as "Mamas and Papas AFG". What does this mean??	Lalu	6	4842	Jun 10, 2012 by Lucy 333
	Letting go... (Preview) It seems to be a fresh set of pain everyday. Ive really kind of lost track of time. Im really frustrated. Ive been sitting at home alone basically for 3 weeks. I leave only to go to the store, work, and meetings. I come home, and sit. I watch tv, and come here. This is no life. Its nothing but some kind of bubbl...	CDK	6	706	Jun 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Time to think (Preview) I hope I'm posting in the right place - this is the first time I've used a forum, so please forgive me if I get any of the ettiquette wrong. I just need to get something 'out there', before I break. My A woke me this morning with a query about copyright. I answered as best I could but apparently in the wrong ton...	Lilac	13	879	Jun 9, 2012 by Breakingfree
	it looks like... (Preview) It looks like...according to the doctors; that I have authritis. For those of you who have been following me for years, I am finally going to find a solution to my condition. They have not really officially diagnosed me as I have not been to the rhumatologist yet. I am anxious to find out what is up w/ me fo...	Hoot Nanny	2	304	Jun 10, 2012 by pineapple
	Feeling Low (Preview) My AH, Stephen, died last August of alcohol related conditions. But right now I am re-living the hell I went through this time last year.Try as I might to consign it to a box with tight fitting lid, it keeps rearing it's ugly head. It's the awful things that I flung at OH that keep springing to mind. I even s...	Tattyhead	7	526	Jun 9, 2012 by Debilyn
	Courtesy, one day at a time (Preview) Today's topic in the book One Day at a Time in Al-Anon is about courtesy. To quote the passage: "The warmth and kidness of courtesy will take the sting out fo the resentments, and give dignity and importance to the members of my household, making them feel secure and loved." Today I had a p...	Lalu	14	899	Jun 9, 2012 by pinkchip
	Sick ramblings... (Preview) Hi everyone. (hugs) Well, Ive posted a lot about how I havent been able to eat or to sleep. Aaaand now Im sick. Body ache, fever, chills...the whole shebang. And it makes me think about some things. Self-care comes to mind. Ive done my best, but my lack of self care got me here for sure. Lesson in that for...	CDK	5	621	Jun 9, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Other expectations (Preview) I know that expectations are something in Al-Anon we have to really recognize and come to terms with. When we place expectations on others and they aren't met, it's a source of frustration. I find myself still working on the expectations for myself and just when I think I've recognized them and can id...	AStrongerMe	6	555	Jun 9, 2012 by Elizabeth10
	Exhaustion (Preview) I have been exhausted for years. I have come, slowly, to believe that it is because I am still being actively controlled and abused by my aging parents who have always projected their chaos, anxiety, blame, etc onto me. As they age and are aware that I know the deal now, they are getting even more contro...	WorkingThroughIt	7	631	Jun 9, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.