Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

CDK · CDK

Hi everyone. (hugs) Well, Ive posted a lot about how I havent been able to eat or to sleep. Aaaand now Im sick. Body ache, fever, chills...the whole shebang. And it makes me think about some things. Self-care comes to mind. Ive done my best, but my lack of self care got me here for sure. Lesson in that for...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I know that expectations are something in Al-Anon we have to really recognize and come to terms with. When we place expectations on others and they aren't met, it's a source of frustration. I find myself still working on the expectations for myself and just when I think I've recognized them and can id...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I have been exhausted for years. I have come, slowly, to believe that it is because I am still being actively controlled and abused by my aging parents who have always projected their chaos, anxiety, blame, etc onto me. As they age and are aware that I know the deal now, they are getting even more contro...

maresie · maresie

For those of us who live around alcoholics stress is a huge issue. I know when I lived aorund the ex A illness was a big issue for me. I got sick often because I was so worn down. In the last year I've been working 7 days a week in order to try to dig myself out of debt and get some needs met. Needless to say event...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I read the book the new codependency (Beaty is the aurthor I beleive) ..it was the follow up to Codependent no more... I found myself getting stronger and just connecting to the reading feeling some personal strength etc Doing great on detachment for the most part. Now Im trying to read It will neve...

Daisy Girl · Daisy Girl

Hey all, any wisdom or ideas for dealing with constantly being corrected? I want to yell and scream, "what I said is NOT wrong!" These are minor things... different adjectives for crying out loud! I am thinking about carrying a dictionary and thesaurus, to prove we are saying the same thin...

littlehawk · littlehawk

The past week has been rough, no doubt. I have been a rock. But today, I finally broke down. I allowed myself to break down, but I had a short time of feeling guilty about being emotional. That website I posted a link to this morning helped me through today.... and all of the support I feel in Al-anon and thi...

Mer · Mer

I don't really know what I hope to accomplish with posting this but I feel I need to write down how I am feeling because I am at an extreme point of loneliness and anxiety. I met my spouse about 4 years ago. During the first few years we were together there were occasions that he would binge drink too much but...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

After years of reflection, prayer, and angst, I made the decision to end my marriage to an alcoholic a few months ago. Al Anon taught me how to deal with myself and my feelings in a healthy way. It has really been a journey of learning how to live for the very first time. My experience of coping during th...

Smukke · Smukke

Hey all, I do not have many details to tell, because not much is happening. Today is one of those days when I find myself dissatisfied and angry. Every few months I am bringing this subject up, but my AB is waiting for the perfect conditions: A place (rental apartment is not good enough), a new job (he was S...

Pushka · Pushka

Hugs to all, I have had so many lessons and many of them very excruciatingly humbling .. lol. I have had much egg on my face and still fight against the tide to figure out where I need to be, in that respect I don't think I'm much different than many addicts in coming to the idea that I have to surrender. It...

Ness · Ness

He has been ill for some time with a heart problem which has been caused by stress, over the past few months he has gone more and more down hill. He was up all last night, breathless, panicy & scared, saw his doc this lunchtime who, at long last after having him swallow all kinds of pills, has had him ad...

rehprof · rehprof

wolfies post about a "blueprint" got me wondering...is there such a thing in alanon literature? is there a list somewhere of alanon materials and related books (like beatties work)?

Chaya · Chaya

After 6 days under my belt of my final goodbye to my recovering alcoholic boyfriend; 6 days of feeling strong; 6 days of insight; 6 days without regret for my decision, I have had 2 days Of bring triggered to go back. Because of my clarity for almost a week I could identify that I was triggered to call him be...

Fina · Fina

~ COMPASSION ~:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~"How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because sometime in your life you will have been all...

StormBird · StormBird

Hi, I'm new to these forums, and new to Al-Anon (I'm planning on going to my first meeting this evening). I hope this isn't too long. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, living together for all of it (we were roommates before we were a couple). I would say that he has drinking binges on...

Fina · Fina

First, I want to apologize for being late in posting these. Second apology is for not logging the meeting so I could be closer to exact words. All that being said, the below is offered for your review and correction. Please feel free to respond with your recollection of either of the motions. A Tent...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I keep thinking about my meeting this past Tuesday. We had 5 newcomers. So we cut the program portion short in order to share our story of what brought us to Al-Anon and allow the newcomers to share if they wished. Some of us have 10+ years and others have been coming only a few weeks, and everything in betw...

KLotus · KLotus

I have identified one of my necessary goals as: Knowing/learning what I want. What DO I want? While I don't have to know exactly per se, I need to have an idea. I want to have an idea, in order to move toward it and begin to make appropriate, healthy decisions aligned with this goal. What do I need? What...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

A friend of mine has a cute little saying. The elevator is broken so you better take the steps. I realized the truth in that statement just last week. Nancy and I have been around for a while now, in Al-Anon I mean, not necessarily at this site. I think Nancy has about thirty years to my 16. And we're double w...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Alrightey, just a little story for anyone with a sense of humor. My wife and I have been happily married for 12 and a half years and this is one of the reasons. About a month ago, I'm on the computer doing whatever and she comes up behind me and asks me a question. She sometimes does that whenever she's tired...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I know this is a weird question but what do you do when all of a sudden the A in your life gets normal? You know, like pleasant, cooperative, nonconfrontational, helpful, etc. I want to let my guard down but I have so many walls up that I never know what to do. It's that roller coaster that they put us on an...

willowtree · willowtree

We have a few guys over here who are doing some work on our deck and their is a new guy who gave me the creepiest feeling when I met him today. I know the other guys but this guy was new and immediately-I felt uncomfortable. He kept looking me up and down and trying to talk to me. So when the guy I knew came to...

Aloha · Aloha

I never thought I'd see the day. I've heard about it many times in the rooms of Al-Anon and here on the message board. But it was one of those things I'd sit and think... "hmm... well, no one in my family has done that. Wow." And yet as I open my email this morning, there one sits. And I am sooooooo g...

Findinghope · Findinghope

I've never posted on this before, but have been looking for and finding strength in these posts for a few weeks. My AH has been relapsing over the last month -- about once a week. Each time, it's like a ton of bricks that hits me and I see our whole future imploding in front of me. Of course, he regrets the rel...

Iamgood · Iamgood

Would anyone be interested in sharing how they do a daily personal inventory? I would love to read your posts about this. I have developped a format for myself based on what I read in the AA Big Book, but with some additional questions for myself about taking care of my physical health and about positive...

CDK · CDK

Morning. I have a question. I used to wonder how my A could get up every day, knowing what he did the night before, and just seem to be totally cool with himself. At that time, I wondered how he could look me straight in the eye, and just act normal and guilt free. Now, I am wondering how to live with myself. I s...

Gailey · Gailey

New hearing is scheduled for 6/12. Third DUI while on probation for the second one. 2nd one he got 1 year suspended jail time. It looks like now that he has violated that he may have to do the 1 year. A son will have 11 months recovery on the 27th. He is very involved in AA. He does a lot of service work. He speak...

littlehawk · littlehawk

Coping with stress is not something I do very well, I'm learning. Somewhere between my childhood of never telling anybody anything and playing it off as if I'm a-okay -- and adulthood-learned confrontation of all issues head on, I got screwed up. Confrontation - even non agressive but assertive - do...

silent · silent

im starting to think back as a child growing up in a alcoholic home,and how he my father being the a effected me and why its still pretty much the same way today of how i feel toward the a,i would push my dad the a then away from me and how i hated him for what he done to our family and how my mom would have us kids ge...

CDK · CDK

Well, I have appeared to have past the crying my eyes out phase, and am in this weird place. Ive had a weird evening. Got home from work, and have had to deal with myself. I kept myself busy for a while. Did laundry. Watched my favorite tv show. And then I hit a wall. I got hungey. Nothing sounds good to me. The...

Ness · Ness

Hi MIP family....I haven't been posting much but check in here most days to read, re-focus and pick up reminders that it works if I work it. In reading the post by YVR ((((((thank you YVR))))) it gave me food for thought, made me look harder at myself & placed me back on step 1. Im spiralling into negat...

stephaniej · stephaniej

It's been awhile since I've checked in...end of school year rush has given me lots of non-A things to focus on (which is good!). I definitely feel like I'm working my program fairly well, and seeing meaningful results. I've started doing several things that help keep me from obsessing/focusing on...

glad lee · glad lee

"Be committed to the relationship you have with yourself. We get so committed to other relationships, but we sort of toss ourselves away. We get around to ourselves only now and then. So, really care for who you are. Take care of your heart and soul." This was from Louise Hay's faceboo...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, went to a small mini convention over the weekend. In the afternoon had the opportunity to hear some AA shares. One gentlemans share was the best share I have ever heard. He spoke how people caled him holy.... He said he looked it up in the dictionary the word Holy and it said wholesome. he s...

jewel91 · jewel91

I wonder were the line is. Exactly where do my boundaries end and chaos and stupidness begins. When do I say when. I love an Alcoholic, that is my problem. The problem doesn't exist just because he's active again, he's been scheming on his next beer for months now... Not wanting any treatment or couns...

beckylee · beckylee

When will I know I'm done?. He's gone seemingly, as happy as a clam. Alone in his small apartment, just far enough so he doesn't have to deal w my and my daughters tears and confusion. When will I know when I'm ready to give up on this wishful thinking. That he will go back to AA. That our family will be restor...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I heard this today, and it really resonated with me. It's something a psychotherapist said to a contestant on The Biggest Loser several years ago, as he spoke about being abused as a child. They talked about the trauma of living that way for so long, and how it colors every single thing you do until you...

barisax · barisax

The second half of the second step is "could restore us to sanity". It doesn't say "could restore us to power". Why do things seem to get even harder when our A gets sober? Maybe we expect them to do it our way. In order recover, the alcoholic has to let go of what doesn't work... the insani...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Here I am complaining about my 2-day vacation. I should feel relaxed & refreshed. I just felt like I needed sleep & more time in the hot tub! I am glad we got away even if it was in a town that I am totally familiar w/ Today is a better day though. It has been Friday since we have been home. I am so glad fo...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

So it has been a week or two since I wrote on here and i just need the reassurance everything is going to be ok. my crack addicted ex is going to rehab tomorrow and it isn't by his choice. After last weekend when I thought I had a full proof plan for him and his daughter to hang out with my friend and her daughter...

flannel81 · flannel81

I am pregnant with my third child and although I am physically well I am emotionally burnt. I can't believe I did - but I asked my husband to leave today. I just can't take the drinking, especially around my children. (both under 5) This obviously is not the 1st time but I have been hoping for his recovery a...

Temple · Temple

Himself very cranky this morning. Yelled once, said something entirely unreasonable and mean in a quieter voice later. I told him that when he is like this nothing I do is ever right to him. And that I hope I don't have to start staying away from him in the morning because I prefer to fix his breakfast (h...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

I ship off soon to basic training. I've been through it before, but I am still starting to get nervous. I'm reading other people's experiences and it got my mind spinning. How will I deal with doing all these physical tasks on very little sleep? What if my belongings get stolen? What if my assigned...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So, I am figuring out that maybe it is my joints that are killing me not my muscles. I am still waiting to see the rhuematologist soon. I am in the meantime going to live one day at a time--my cousin agrees. I have been emailing her for awhile now & it seems that she is the closest I am going to get to having...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Looking for some ESH from those who have either moved on from a cheating/lying spouse or those who stayed. Words cant explain the pain that I am feeling, but am I crazy for thinking about wanting to work things out? If he lied once wont he keep doing it? As of now were are broken up and clearly marriage is of...

Temple · Temple

I promise to go and lie down for awhile after this one. (Grins) A dear poster, and I'm sorry I don't remember which one, said just a day or two ago that she wouldn't change anything because being married to her A brought her to Alanon and healing (very much a paraphrase.) And I got about half-angry with th...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I had over a handful of my great group of gal pals and we had a potluck going away party for me. It was so nice and the love around the table was immense! Every one wished me so much hope and great things on my next season and helped give me the next boost of confidence to get to my next group of friends that can su...

Frank1 · Frank1

Tonight I am sharing at our Al Anon meeting in Falls Church Virginia (Unity Club). My theme is "Al Anon problem solving" . I started my afternoon confused and foggy, worried about a number of problems. Plenty of alcoholism in our extended family background. But right now the issues are no...

Oaklandgal · Oaklandgal

They are not on pgs. 269-270 of the "From Survival to Recovery" Book (Rev. 2007) that I just bought. I found the Promises online and printed them out, and would love to know if they are in this book, just somewhere else? thanks!

FORGE AHEAD · FORGE AHEAD

Anyone that has read my previous post would most likely say, Wow-she is moving fast on these decisions. The fact is, it has been 20years in the making. I am just waking up and finally realizing that I am not the only one that should be responsible for this family. So, the Ultimatum.... Told my AH that he...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

Friday was hard. He cried, I cried, we talked a lot. I talked with my RBF that night a long time, I was very depressed, sad, hurt and emotional because I don't care how old our kids get, they are our babies and sending him away was excruciating. RBF made the note that I've made before my son has very simila...

Temple · Temple

OK, they are old ones, but I can very conveniently forget and go back to living my life as if it were a dress rehearsal. Pinkchip got me thinking, and here was my first thought: Whenever I start obsessing about Him and His faults I must remember that I was and am one sick Pussy Cat, else I would never have ma...

Temple · Temple

It takes an enormous amount of energy to be angry or upset or blaming. The cat sprayed my bedspread this morning. Usually I want to kill him when this happens. Today, I thought, well, he was trying to get me up, and the other kitty was in and he may have been afraid he'd get jumped if he went to the sandbo...

Temple · Temple

I keep reading "It's a disease." I think it's easier for me to think of it as a genetic condition, but that is way beside the point, which is around here someplace. There have been so many good, thought-provoking posts of late and one that really helped me was Dolly Llama's about how all the a...

Yvr · Yvr

This is my first post on any Internet forum, I don't know if this is appropriate place but anyway... I lost my mother 3 months ago to cirrhosis, she was 65. I'm having real trouble trying to convey the emotions I have about this. I feel the closest thing for me to compare it to is losing a parent to suicide, i...

Violla · Violla

I have been dating a recovering alcoholic for the past year and a half. He has been part of the AA program for the past 12 years. He attends 3-5 evening meetings a week, including a Big Book Study with his guy friends and his home group meeting. Many a weekend nights I have spent alone because of him atten...

peregrinator · peregrinator

Hello, all, this will be my first post to this board, but I have been "lurking" here for several months (I guess I'm shy.) I'll try to give some backstory without going on too long: I was in a relationship with an active alcoholic for 3 years (there's alcoholism - denied and swept under the ru...

sookie · sookie

UGH. My separated AH's life just sprials out of control again. Last night he got drunk and stepped out in front of a CAR. He was taken to the ER and now has a fractured rib and staples in his head. God knows what will be in the paper tomorrow (and he is on probation for 2 DUIs). It just never ends. I knew somethi...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I know he will have only been gone for 48 hours but I am not ready for AH to get home in the AM from jail. He will be home tomorrow during the day and then has to go back for the last night before they release him. I am nervous and don't know what to expect. I would like to think that he'll be humble and a bit depr...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Sick ramblings... (Preview) Hi everyone. (hugs) Well, Ive posted a lot about how I havent been able to eat or to sleep. Aaaand now Im sick. Body ache, fever, chills...the whole shebang. And it makes me think about some things. Self-care comes to mind. Ive done my best, but my lack of self care got me here for sure. Lesson in that for...	CDK	5	572	Jun 9, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Other expectations (Preview) I know that expectations are something in Al-Anon we have to really recognize and come to terms with. When we place expectations on others and they aren't met, it's a source of frustration. I find myself still working on the expectations for myself and just when I think I've recognized them and can id...	AStrongerMe	6	509	Jun 9, 2012 by Elizabeth10
	Exhaustion (Preview) I have been exhausted for years. I have come, slowly, to believe that it is because I am still being actively controlled and abused by my aging parents who have always projected their chaos, anxiety, blame, etc onto me. As they age and are aware that I know the deal now, they are getting even more contro...	WorkingThroughIt	7	580	Jun 9, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	stress reduction (Preview) For those of us who live around alcoholics stress is a huge issue. I know when I lived aorund the ex A illness was a big issue for me. I got sick often because I was so worn down. In the last year I've been working 7 days a week in order to try to dig myself out of debt and get some needs met. Needless to say event...	maresie	7	671	Jun 9, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	reading/learning (Preview) I read the book the new codependency (Beaty is the aurthor I beleive) ..it was the follow up to Codependent no more... I found myself getting stronger and just connecting to the reading feeling some personal strength etc Doing great on detachment for the most part. Now Im trying to read It will neve...	sweeetr	6	518	Jun 8, 2012 by Daisy Girl
	Need ESH re: AH correcting me (Preview) Hey all, any wisdom or ideas for dealing with constantly being corrected? I want to yell and scream, "what I said is NOT wrong!" These are minor things... different adjectives for crying out loud! I am thinking about carrying a dictionary and thesaurus, to prove we are saying the same thin...	Daisy Girl	7	943	Jun 8, 2012 by Daisy Girl
	Please send some prayers for my Dad (Preview) The past week has been rough, no doubt. I have been a rock. But today, I finally broke down. I allowed myself to break down, but I had a short time of feeling guilty about being emotional. That website I posted a link to this morning helped me through today.... and all of the support I feel in Al-anon and thi...	littlehawk	10	352	Jun 8, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	Alone and Axious (Preview) I don't really know what I hope to accomplish with posting this but I feel I need to write down how I am feeling because I am at an extreme point of loneliness and anxiety. I met my spouse about 4 years ago. During the first few years we were together there were occasions that he would binge drink too much but...	Mer	8	554	Jun 8, 2012 by Daisy Girl
	Feeling my feelings (Preview) After years of reflection, prayer, and angst, I made the decision to end my marriage to an alcoholic a few months ago. Al Anon taught me how to deal with myself and my feelings in a healthy way. It has really been a journey of learning how to live for the very first time. My experience of coping during th...	Dolly Llama	9	918	Jun 8, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Bedtime stories (Preview) Hey all, I do not have many details to tell, because not much is happening. Today is one of those days when I find myself dissatisfied and angry. Every few months I am bringing this subject up, but my AB is waiting for the perfect conditions: A place (rental apartment is not good enough), a new job (he was S...	Smukke	5	419	Jun 8, 2012 by Smukke
	When it's right (Preview) Hugs to all, I have had so many lessons and many of them very excruciatingly humbling .. lol. I have had much egg on my face and still fight against the tide to figure out where I need to be, in that respect I don't think I'm much different than many addicts in coming to the idea that I have to surrender. It...	Pushka	5	460	Jun 8, 2012 by Jerry F
	My husband is in hospital (Preview) He has been ill for some time with a heart problem which has been caused by stress, over the past few months he has gone more and more down hill. He was up all last night, breathless, panicy & scared, saw his doc this lunchtime who, at long last after having him swallow all kinds of pills, has had him ad...	Ness	12	536	Jun 8, 2012 by oldergal
	Comprehensive List of Alanon Literature? (Preview) wolfies post about a "blueprint" got me wondering...is there such a thing in alanon literature? is there a list somewhere of alanon materials and related books (like beatties work)?	rehprof	5	2958	Jun 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Learning my triggers (Preview) After 6 days under my belt of my final goodbye to my recovering alcoholic boyfriend; 6 days of feeling strong; 6 days of insight; 6 days without regret for my decision, I have had 2 days Of bring triggered to go back. Because of my clarity for almost a week I could identify that I was triggered to call him be...	Chaya	4	433	Jun 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	COMPASSION (Preview) ~ COMPASSION ~:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~*~"How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because sometime in your life you will have been all...	Fina	5	450	Jun 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Damage Control/Venting (Preview) Hi, I'm new to these forums, and new to Al-Anon (I'm planning on going to my first meeting this evening). I hope this isn't too long. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, living together for all of it (we were roommates before we were a couple). I would say that he has drinking binges on...	StormBird	5	454	Jun 8, 2012 by StormBird
	MINUTES TO 6/3 ALANON BUSINESS MEETING (Preview) First, I want to apologize for being late in posting these. Second apology is for not logging the meeting so I could be closer to exact words. All that being said, the below is offered for your review and correction. Please feel free to respond with your recollection of either of the motions. A Tent...	Fina	0	431	Jun 7, 2012 by Fina
	Newcomers to the meeting (Preview) I keep thinking about my meeting this past Tuesday. We had 5 newcomers. So we cut the program portion short in order to share our story of what brought us to Al-Anon and allow the newcomers to share if they wished. Some of us have 10+ years and others have been coming only a few weeks, and everything in betw...	Jackie11	2	298	Jun 7, 2012 by hotrod
	Knowing (Preview) I have identified one of my necessary goals as: Knowing/learning what I want. What DO I want? While I don't have to know exactly per se, I need to have an idea. I want to have an idea, in order to move toward it and begin to make appropriate, healthy decisions aligned with this goal. What do I need? What...	KLotus	2	512	Jun 7, 2012 by sookie
	The Elevator Is Broken (Preview) A friend of mine has a cute little saying. The elevator is broken so you better take the steps. I realized the truth in that statement just last week. Nancy and I have been around for a while now, in Al-Anon I mean, not necessarily at this site. I think Nancy has about thirty years to my 16. And we're double w...	Wolfie55	4	405	Jun 7, 2012 by Sweet Stanley
	The TableCloth Story (Preview) Alrightey, just a little story for anyone with a sense of humor. My wife and I have been happily married for 12 and a half years and this is one of the reasons. About a month ago, I'm on the computer doing whatever and she comes up behind me and asks me a question. She sometimes does that whenever she's tired...	Wolfie55	6	482	Jun 7, 2012 by Sweet Stanley
	When the A is nice and normal (Preview) I know this is a weird question but what do you do when all of a sudden the A in your life gets normal? You know, like pleasant, cooperative, nonconfrontational, helpful, etc. I want to let my guard down but I have so many walls up that I never know what to do. It's that roller coaster that they put us on an...	ilovedogs	8	600	Jun 7, 2012 by surfgirl123
	am I in the wrong? (Preview) We have a few guys over here who are doing some work on our deck and their is a new guy who gave me the creepiest feeling when I met him today. I know the other guys but this guy was new and immediately-I felt uncomfortable. He kept looking me up and down and trying to talk to me. So when the guy I knew came to...	willowtree	6	447	Jun 7, 2012 by surfgirl123
	The token "alcoholic meltdown mass email to the family" (Preview) I never thought I'd see the day. I've heard about it many times in the rooms of Al-Anon and here on the message board. But it was one of those things I'd sit and think... "hmm... well, no one in my family has done that. Wow." And yet as I open my email this morning, there one sits. And I am sooooooo g...	Aloha	4	594	Jun 7, 2012 by surfgirl123
	A bit lost (Preview) I've never posted on this before, but have been looking for and finding strength in these posts for a few weeks. My AH has been relapsing over the last month -- about once a week. Each time, it's like a ton of bricks that hits me and I see our whole future imploding in front of me. Of course, he regrets the rel...	Findinghope	6	407	Jun 7, 2012 by Findinghope
	10th Step Format (Preview) Would anyone be interested in sharing how they do a daily personal inventory? I would love to read your posts about this. I have developped a format for myself based on what I read in the AA Big Book, but with some additional questions for myself about taking care of my physical health and about positive...	Iamgood	5	1663	Jun 7, 2012 by Fina
	How do u live with yourself? (Preview) Morning. I have a question. I used to wonder how my A could get up every day, knowing what he did the night before, and just seem to be totally cool with himself. At that time, I wondered how he could look me straight in the eye, and just act normal and guilt free. Now, I am wondering how to live with myself. I s...	CDK	12	665	Jun 7, 2012 by hotrod
	My A son is facing jail time (Preview) New hearing is scheduled for 6/12. Third DUI while on probation for the second one. 2nd one he got 1 year suspended jail time. It looks like now that he has violated that he may have to do the 1 year. A son will have 11 months recovery on the 27th. He is very involved in AA. He does a lot of service work. He speak...	Gailey	11	601	Jun 7, 2012 by Debilyn
	"hey Doc, it hurts when I do this!" - "Well, don't do that!!" (Preview) Coping with stress is not something I do very well, I'm learning. Somewhere between my childhood of never telling anybody anything and playing it off as if I'm a-okay -- and adulthood-learned confrontation of all issues head on, I got screwed up. Confrontation - even non agressive but assertive - do...	littlehawk	2	481	Jun 7, 2012 by sweeetr
	looking back (Preview) im starting to think back as a child growing up in a alcoholic home,and how he my father being the a effected me and why its still pretty much the same way today of how i feel toward the a,i would push my dad the a then away from me and how i hated him for what he done to our family and how my mom would have us kids ge...	silent	3	397	Jun 7, 2012 by hotrod
	Grumble (Preview) Well, I have appeared to have past the crying my eyes out phase, and am in this weird place. Ive had a weird evening. Got home from work, and have had to deal with myself. I kept myself busy for a while. Did laundry. Watched my favorite tv show. And then I hit a wall. I got hungey. Nothing sounds good to me. The...	CDK	5	395	Jun 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Big MIP hug would be GREAT (Preview) Hi MIP family....I haven't been posting much but check in here most days to read, re-focus and pick up reminders that it works if I work it. In reading the post by YVR ((((((thank you YVR))))) it gave me food for thought, made me look harder at myself & placed me back on step 1. Im spiralling into negat...	Ness	11	735	Jun 6, 2012 by Gailey
	I'm Doing Well! (Preview) It's been awhile since I've checked in...end of school year rush has given me lots of non-A things to focus on (which is good!). I definitely feel like I'm working my program fairly well, and seeing meaningful results. I've started doing several things that help keep me from obsessing/focusing on...	stephaniej	5	278	Jun 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Self-Care (Preview) "Be committed to the relationship you have with yourself. We get so committed to other relationships, but we sort of toss ourselves away. We get around to ourselves only now and then. So, really care for who you are. Take care of your heart and soul." This was from Louise Hay's faceboo...	glad lee	12	667	Jun 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Wholesome. (Preview) Hi everyone, went to a small mini convention over the weekend. In the afternoon had the opportunity to hear some AA shares. One gentlemans share was the best share I have ever heard. He spoke how people caled him holy.... He said he looked it up in the dictionary the word Holy and it said wholesome. he s...	Tracy	2	380	Jun 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Too Much Love (Preview) I wonder were the line is. Exactly where do my boundaries end and chaos and stupidness begins. When do I say when. I love an Alcoholic, that is my problem. The problem doesn't exist just because he's active again, he's been scheming on his next beer for months now... Not wanting any treatment or couns...	jewel91	4	449	Jun 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	When will I know? (Preview) When will I know I'm done?. He's gone seemingly, as happy as a clam. Alone in his small apartment, just far enough so he doesn't have to deal w my and my daughters tears and confusion. When will I know when I'm ready to give up on this wishful thinking. That he will go back to AA. That our family will be restor...	beckylee	5	455	Jun 6, 2012 by Mattie
	"You've Survived Your Own Personal War" (Preview) I heard this today, and it really resonated with me. It's something a psychotherapist said to a contestant on The Biggest Loser several years ago, as he spoke about being abused as a child. They talked about the trauma of living that way for so long, and how it colors every single thing you do until you...	stephaniej	2	338	Jun 6, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Step 2 Part 2 (Preview) The second half of the second step is "could restore us to sanity". It doesn't say "could restore us to power". Why do things seem to get even harder when our A gets sober? Maybe we expect them to do it our way. In order recover, the alcoholic has to let go of what doesn't work... the insani...	barisax	6	400	Jun 6, 2012 by Fiona
	vacations aren't all they are cracked up to be! (Preview) Here I am complaining about my 2-day vacation. I should feel relaxed & refreshed. I just felt like I needed sleep & more time in the hot tub! I am glad we got away even if it was in a town that I am totally familiar w/ Today is a better day though. It has been Friday since we have been home. I am so glad fo...	Hoot Nanny	2	351	Jun 6, 2012 by jewel91
	WHY?? When is enough enough and the fustration STOP! (Preview) So it has been a week or two since I wrote on here and i just need the reassurance everything is going to be ok. my crack addicted ex is going to rehab tomorrow and it isn't by his choice. After last weekend when I thought I had a full proof plan for him and his daughter to hang out with my friend and her daughter...	Julie3310	15	745	Jun 6, 2012 by Julie3310
	Life upside down (Preview) I am pregnant with my third child and although I am physically well I am emotionally burnt. I can't believe I did - but I asked my husband to leave today. I just can't take the drinking, especially around my children. (both under 5) This obviously is not the 1st time but I have been hoping for his recovery a...	flannel81	5	364	Jun 6, 2012 by Chaya
	Miracle? (Preview) Himself very cranky this morning. Yelled once, said something entirely unreasonable and mean in a quieter voice later. I told him that when he is like this nothing I do is ever right to him. And that I hope I don't have to start staying away from him in the morning because I prefer to fix his breakfast (h...	Temple	4	540	Jun 5, 2012 by Temple
	Using Al Anon lessons to survive military training! (Preview) I ship off soon to basic training. I've been through it before, but I am still starting to get nervous. I'm reading other people's experiences and it got my mind spinning. How will I deal with doing all these physical tasks on very little sleep? What if my belongings get stolen? What if my assigned...	Dolly Llama	5	633	Jun 5, 2012 by Oksie
	where do I begin? at the beginning (Preview) So, I am figuring out that maybe it is my joints that are killing me not my muscles. I am still waiting to see the rhuematologist soon. I am in the meantime going to live one day at a time--my cousin agrees. I have been emailing her for awhile now & it seems that she is the closest I am going to get to having...	Hoot Nanny	1	315	Jun 5, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Is it possible? (Preview) Looking for some ESH from those who have either moved on from a cheating/lying spouse or those who stayed. Words cant explain the pain that I am feeling, but am I crazy for thinking about wanting to work things out? If he lied once wont he keep doing it? As of now were are broken up and clearly marriage is of...	Corgi2	7	545	Jun 5, 2012 by Corgi2
	Insight 4 (Preview) I promise to go and lie down for awhile after this one. (Grins) A dear poster, and I'm sorry I don't remember which one, said just a day or two ago that she wouldn't change anything because being married to her A brought her to Alanon and healing (very much a paraphrase.) And I got about half-angry with th...	Temple	6	337	Jun 5, 2012 by Bettina
	The last supper was tonight and the Uhaul is tomorrow (Preview) I had over a handful of my great group of gal pals and we had a potluck going away party for me. It was so nice and the love around the table was immense! Every one wished me so much hope and great things on my next season and helped give me the next boost of confidence to get to my next group of friends that can su...	Breakingfree	9	557	Jun 5, 2012 by Pushka
	Confused and foggy and anxious? Some approaches to sort out problems confusion overwhelmed solving problems tiredness Serenity Prayer - practical use of (Preview) Tonight I am sharing at our Al Anon meeting in Falls Church Virginia (Unity Club). My theme is "Al Anon problem solving" . I started my afternoon confused and foggy, worried about a number of problems. Plenty of alcoholism in our extended family background. But right now the issues are no...	Frank1	5	2923	Jun 5, 2012 by littlehawk
	Where are the Al-Anon Promises? (Preview) They are not on pgs. 269-270 of the "From Survival to Recovery" Book (Rev. 2007) that I just bought. I found the Promises online and printed them out, and would love to know if they are in this book, just somewhere else? thanks!	Oaklandgal	4	4225	Jun 5, 2012 by Jerry F
	the ultimatum (Preview) Anyone that has read my previous post would most likely say, Wow-she is moving fast on these decisions. The fact is, it has been 20years in the making. I am just waking up and finally realizing that I am not the only one that should be responsible for this family. So, the Ultimatum.... Told my AH that he...	FORGE AHEAD	18	772	Jun 5, 2012 by Debilyn
	Update on teen son (Preview) Friday was hard. He cried, I cried, we talked a lot. I talked with my RBF that night a long time, I was very depressed, sad, hurt and emotional because I don't care how old our kids get, they are our babies and sending him away was excruciating. RBF made the note that I've made before my son has very simila...	AStrongerMe	1	378	Jun 5, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Two new realizations today (Preview) OK, they are old ones, but I can very conveniently forget and go back to living my life as if it were a dress rehearsal. Pinkchip got me thinking, and here was my first thought: Whenever I start obsessing about Him and His faults I must remember that I was and am one sick Pussy Cat, else I would never have ma...	Temple	4	437	Jun 5, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Insight 3 (Preview) It takes an enormous amount of energy to be angry or upset or blaming. The cat sprayed my bedspread this morning. Usually I want to kill him when this happens. Today, I thought, well, he was trying to get me up, and the other kitty was in and he may have been afraid he'd get jumped if he went to the sandbo...	Temple	1	319	Jun 4, 2012 by Bettina
	Slowly turning the corner (Preview) I keep reading "It's a disease." I think it's easier for me to think of it as a genetic condition, but that is way beside the point, which is around here someplace. There have been so many good, thought-provoking posts of late and one that really helped me was Dolly Llama's about how all the a...	Temple	10	881	Jun 4, 2012 by Temple
	Coming to terms with mom's death (Preview) This is my first post on any Internet forum, I don't know if this is appropriate place but anyway... I lost my mother 3 months ago to cirrhosis, she was 65. I'm having real trouble trying to convey the emotions I have about this. I feel the closest thing for me to compare it to is losing a parent to suicide, i...	Yvr	6	537	Jun 4, 2012 by Ness
	Dating a 12 year recovering alcoholic (Preview) I have been dating a recovering alcoholic for the past year and a half. He has been part of the AA program for the past 12 years. He attends 3-5 evening meetings a week, including a Big Book Study with his guy friends and his home group meeting. Many a weekend nights I have spent alone because of him atten...	Violla	6	934	Jun 4, 2012 by Violla
	A lurker delurks - in need of others' experiences, encouragement, insights (Preview) Hello, all, this will be my first post to this board, but I have been "lurking" here for several months (I guess I'm shy.) I'll try to give some backstory without going on too long: I was in a relationship with an active alcoholic for 3 years (there's alcoholism - denied and swept under the ru...	peregrinator	6	553	Jun 4, 2012 by orchidlover
	How? Why? When? (Preview) UGH. My separated AH's life just sprials out of control again. Last night he got drunk and stepped out in front of a CAR. He was taken to the ER and now has a fractured rib and staples in his head. God knows what will be in the paper tomorrow (and he is on probation for 2 DUIs). It just never ends. I knew somethi...	sookie	5	525	Jun 4, 2012 by Pushka
	Nervous about him coming home from jail (Preview) I know he will have only been gone for 48 hours but I am not ready for AH to get home in the AM from jail. He will be home tomorrow during the day and then has to go back for the last night before they release him. I am nervous and don't know what to expect. I would like to think that he'll be humble and a bit depr...	ilovedogs	7	588	Jun 4, 2012 by sookie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.