Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

rehprof · rehprof

So, the exA just got about 50K of my retirement in the divorce. He's back from Vegas..bought us a big-screen TV, bought 10 year old new $70 Baseball glove (on sale), bought 15 year old a food de-hydrator (bc I mentioned he wanted one for his b-day in august) bought himself a new camera, and yesterday boug...

marycontrary · marycontrary

Hi folks. I am mary ann. I saw the nice video John posted in the sticky department and thought this might be a place to go. I have an alcoholic abusive husband. my husband and i have been together sin 1983. Been married and raised our sons to adulthood for the last 25 years. I went to an al anon meeting about 2...

Smukke · Smukke

Hi all, I thought a lot about my childhood and my AB today. Let me tell you about a situation I just had on the phone with him, as he is on a business trip in Asia right now. I told him I would love to communicate more with him about our sex life and I also suggested a relationship therapy session. After the conv...

Tigger · Tigger

I've been thinking about this a real lot lately, as this is a recurring theme in my relationship right now. My question for you is this: "How does one deal with conflicting needs in a healthy respectful way?" it often seems that my and my partner's needs clash, and while I am big oncompromise...

CDK · CDK

Hi everyone. Im doing some step worksheets from my local CODA website. I have been to 1 mtg in addition to al anon, and am looking forward to trying the steps. The part I am on is listing ways that my life reflects unmanagability. Currentlu working on "spirituality". I have been writing out m...

silent · silent

my son moved in with me last year in feb.he had been liveing out onhis own with freinds for 6 years when he came home to me in feb.he was very,very sick almost dead ,he is 26 y/o i rushed him to the er next day afer he moved back in he has severe sleep apnea and oxygen dropping down to 71,not even good scared me ,s...

pineapple · pineapple

Today is a religious holiday here. A left for the village at 9 am ¨to watch the procession¨. OK, that takes about 30 minutes. He wasn't home yet at 1 pm but I figured he was in a cantina drinking, not my business. A few minutes later our friend who was here doing some work came looking for me. He said someone...

Path to Serenity · Path to Serenity

I'm new to the forum and in a bit of a crisis. I'm a child of an alcoholic - my own struggles with life took me down a similar path = drugs. I thought I was better than my alcoholic Father in that I was functional. My 20yr son came to me one day and said "Mom, you're doing too much of this stuff". ...

Fina · Fina

~ PAIN ~:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain."Kahlil Gibran:~*~:. .:~*~:. ....

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

This weekend I got to spend some time with a Nice Guy. It was business, not romantic, but friendly and personal. I had forgotten what it was like to be around a "normal" person. I have my good girlfriends, but it was refreshing to talk to a man in a healthy way. He looked me in my eyes, didn't w...

mstee · mstee

I have been living with my husband for over 17 years as him being an alcholic! he stops then starts again.. i need help. he has loss jobs over this and friends. we have beautiful kids together and now it is effecting them.. he is a great husband and father when he isnt drinking. and he is refusing help!! i am...

mr5191 · mr5191

As any who has read my bio, I have fought this monster for only a short period of time but have suffered so much of what this disease can bring. However, early last week, my wife suffered a brain hemorage as a result of untreated high blood pressure from her heavy drinking. Although she has regained a lo...

Oksie · Oksie

Hi I went away for a week for my work. My husband could not come with me as we couldn't afford the unpaid time off work for him. That meant me leaving him at home alone. I do not cope well with that for a variety of reasons. I spoke to my psychologist about it and she gave me some tips and also I used the steps a...

oldergal · oldergal

My ASon is drinking less lately, has a new relationship, but is not completely dry and not attending AA. I know about the 3C's. But I guess my fear is that tomorrow his wedding day "What If" he drinks too much, that keeps playing over and over again in my head. I know I have no control. I think it i...

privateshame · privateshame

Married 9 years, separated three. Two children, 8 and 9 who are now noticing. Not violent, just becomes rude and very snappy towards me. I can't reply.....sometimes I try, and he says it will stop. It doesn't. I'm lonely, as he's not always the same. He's three hours late from work, I know where he is. He...

Chaya · Chaya

Today realized a new way that my codependency harms me. I was getting upset today at work about one of the clients in our drug treatment program who we suspect is selling out in the parking lot. Now it's simple, you get caught selling you get discharged. However, I started getting upbout or him about his...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I got a call from my ex-A today. I let it go to voice mail cuz I was out with my current partner having lunch. The ex stated he wanted to talk about his latest book he is writing. He writes when drinking and sometimes it comes out pretty decent, but none of it is going to win a pulitzer or anything. That wou...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hi all. I had a really cool experience yesterday. I went to an intuitive medium. I know I know, I wasn't a big believer in that kind of stuff but I was curious so I gave it a shot. She knew SO much about me and the things Im going through. It was beyond cool. She gave me some more confirmation that ending my rela...

Fina · Fina

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~"You will either step forward into growth, or you will step back into safety."Abraham Maslow:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~In my early years in program, one of my sponsors told me, "You're in a very wel...

Lalu · Lalu

I see meetings listed as "Mamas and Papas AFG". What does this mean??

CDK · CDK

It seems to be a fresh set of pain everyday. Ive really kind of lost track of time. Im really frustrated. Ive been sitting at home alone basically for 3 weeks. I leave only to go to the store, work, and meetings. I come home, and sit. I watch tv, and come here. This is no life. Its nothing but some kind of bubbl...

Lilac · Lilac

I hope I'm posting in the right place - this is the first time I've used a forum, so please forgive me if I get any of the ettiquette wrong. I just need to get something 'out there', before I break. My A woke me this morning with a query about copyright. I answered as best I could but apparently in the wrong ton...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It looks like...according to the doctors; that I have authritis. For those of you who have been following me for years, I am finally going to find a solution to my condition. They have not really officially diagnosed me as I have not been to the rhumatologist yet. I am anxious to find out what is up w/ me fo...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

My AH, Stephen, died last August of alcohol related conditions. But right now I am re-living the hell I went through this time last year.Try as I might to consign it to a box with tight fitting lid, it keeps rearing it's ugly head. It's the awful things that I flung at OH that keep springing to mind. I even s...

Lalu · Lalu

Today's topic in the book One Day at a Time in Al-Anon is about courtesy. To quote the passage: "The warmth and kidness of courtesy will take the sting out fo the resentments, and give dignity and importance to the members of my household, making them feel secure and loved." Today I had a p...

CDK · CDK

Hi everyone. (hugs) Well, Ive posted a lot about how I havent been able to eat or to sleep. Aaaand now Im sick. Body ache, fever, chills...the whole shebang. And it makes me think about some things. Self-care comes to mind. Ive done my best, but my lack of self care got me here for sure. Lesson in that for...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I know that expectations are something in Al-Anon we have to really recognize and come to terms with. When we place expectations on others and they aren't met, it's a source of frustration. I find myself still working on the expectations for myself and just when I think I've recognized them and can id...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I have been exhausted for years. I have come, slowly, to believe that it is because I am still being actively controlled and abused by my aging parents who have always projected their chaos, anxiety, blame, etc onto me. As they age and are aware that I know the deal now, they are getting even more contro...

maresie · maresie

For those of us who live around alcoholics stress is a huge issue. I know when I lived aorund the ex A illness was a big issue for me. I got sick often because I was so worn down. In the last year I've been working 7 days a week in order to try to dig myself out of debt and get some needs met. Needless to say event...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I read the book the new codependency (Beaty is the aurthor I beleive) ..it was the follow up to Codependent no more... I found myself getting stronger and just connecting to the reading feeling some personal strength etc Doing great on detachment for the most part. Now Im trying to read It will neve...

Daisy Girl · Daisy Girl

Hey all, any wisdom or ideas for dealing with constantly being corrected? I want to yell and scream, "what I said is NOT wrong!" These are minor things... different adjectives for crying out loud! I am thinking about carrying a dictionary and thesaurus, to prove we are saying the same thin...

littlehawk · littlehawk

The past week has been rough, no doubt. I have been a rock. But today, I finally broke down. I allowed myself to break down, but I had a short time of feeling guilty about being emotional. That website I posted a link to this morning helped me through today.... and all of the support I feel in Al-anon and thi...

Mer · Mer

I don't really know what I hope to accomplish with posting this but I feel I need to write down how I am feeling because I am at an extreme point of loneliness and anxiety. I met my spouse about 4 years ago. During the first few years we were together there were occasions that he would binge drink too much but...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

After years of reflection, prayer, and angst, I made the decision to end my marriage to an alcoholic a few months ago. Al Anon taught me how to deal with myself and my feelings in a healthy way. It has really been a journey of learning how to live for the very first time. My experience of coping during th...

Smukke · Smukke

Hey all, I do not have many details to tell, because not much is happening. Today is one of those days when I find myself dissatisfied and angry. Every few months I am bringing this subject up, but my AB is waiting for the perfect conditions: A place (rental apartment is not good enough), a new job (he was S...

Pushka · Pushka

Hugs to all, I have had so many lessons and many of them very excruciatingly humbling .. lol. I have had much egg on my face and still fight against the tide to figure out where I need to be, in that respect I don't think I'm much different than many addicts in coming to the idea that I have to surrender. It...

Ness · Ness

He has been ill for some time with a heart problem which has been caused by stress, over the past few months he has gone more and more down hill. He was up all last night, breathless, panicy & scared, saw his doc this lunchtime who, at long last after having him swallow all kinds of pills, has had him ad...

rehprof · rehprof

wolfies post about a "blueprint" got me wondering...is there such a thing in alanon literature? is there a list somewhere of alanon materials and related books (like beatties work)?

Chaya · Chaya

After 6 days under my belt of my final goodbye to my recovering alcoholic boyfriend; 6 days of feeling strong; 6 days of insight; 6 days without regret for my decision, I have had 2 days Of bring triggered to go back. Because of my clarity for almost a week I could identify that I was triggered to call him be...

Fina · Fina

~ COMPASSION ~:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~"How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because sometime in your life you will have been all...

StormBird · StormBird

Hi, I'm new to these forums, and new to Al-Anon (I'm planning on going to my first meeting this evening). I hope this isn't too long. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, living together for all of it (we were roommates before we were a couple). I would say that he has drinking binges on...

Fina · Fina

First, I want to apologize for being late in posting these. Second apology is for not logging the meeting so I could be closer to exact words. All that being said, the below is offered for your review and correction. Please feel free to respond with your recollection of either of the motions. A Tent...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I keep thinking about my meeting this past Tuesday. We had 5 newcomers. So we cut the program portion short in order to share our story of what brought us to Al-Anon and allow the newcomers to share if they wished. Some of us have 10+ years and others have been coming only a few weeks, and everything in betw...

KLotus · KLotus

I have identified one of my necessary goals as: Knowing/learning what I want. What DO I want? While I don't have to know exactly per se, I need to have an idea. I want to have an idea, in order to move toward it and begin to make appropriate, healthy decisions aligned with this goal. What do I need? What...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

A friend of mine has a cute little saying. The elevator is broken so you better take the steps. I realized the truth in that statement just last week. Nancy and I have been around for a while now, in Al-Anon I mean, not necessarily at this site. I think Nancy has about thirty years to my 16. And we're double w...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Alrightey, just a little story for anyone with a sense of humor. My wife and I have been happily married for 12 and a half years and this is one of the reasons. About a month ago, I'm on the computer doing whatever and she comes up behind me and asks me a question. She sometimes does that whenever she's tired...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I know this is a weird question but what do you do when all of a sudden the A in your life gets normal? You know, like pleasant, cooperative, nonconfrontational, helpful, etc. I want to let my guard down but I have so many walls up that I never know what to do. It's that roller coaster that they put us on an...

willowtree · willowtree

We have a few guys over here who are doing some work on our deck and their is a new guy who gave me the creepiest feeling when I met him today. I know the other guys but this guy was new and immediately-I felt uncomfortable. He kept looking me up and down and trying to talk to me. So when the guy I knew came to...

Aloha · Aloha

I never thought I'd see the day. I've heard about it many times in the rooms of Al-Anon and here on the message board. But it was one of those things I'd sit and think... "hmm... well, no one in my family has done that. Wow." And yet as I open my email this morning, there one sits. And I am sooooooo g...

Findinghope · Findinghope

I've never posted on this before, but have been looking for and finding strength in these posts for a few weeks. My AH has been relapsing over the last month -- about once a week. Each time, it's like a ton of bricks that hits me and I see our whole future imploding in front of me. Of course, he regrets the rel...

Iamgood · Iamgood

Would anyone be interested in sharing how they do a daily personal inventory? I would love to read your posts about this. I have developped a format for myself based on what I read in the AA Big Book, but with some additional questions for myself about taking care of my physical health and about positive...

CDK · CDK

Morning. I have a question. I used to wonder how my A could get up every day, knowing what he did the night before, and just seem to be totally cool with himself. At that time, I wondered how he could look me straight in the eye, and just act normal and guilt free. Now, I am wondering how to live with myself. I s...

Gailey · Gailey

New hearing is scheduled for 6/12. Third DUI while on probation for the second one. 2nd one he got 1 year suspended jail time. It looks like now that he has violated that he may have to do the 1 year. A son will have 11 months recovery on the 27th. He is very involved in AA. He does a lot of service work. He speak...

littlehawk · littlehawk

Coping with stress is not something I do very well, I'm learning. Somewhere between my childhood of never telling anybody anything and playing it off as if I'm a-okay -- and adulthood-learned confrontation of all issues head on, I got screwed up. Confrontation - even non agressive but assertive - do...

silent · silent

im starting to think back as a child growing up in a alcoholic home,and how he my father being the a effected me and why its still pretty much the same way today of how i feel toward the a,i would push my dad the a then away from me and how i hated him for what he done to our family and how my mom would have us kids ge...

CDK · CDK

Well, I have appeared to have past the crying my eyes out phase, and am in this weird place. Ive had a weird evening. Got home from work, and have had to deal with myself. I kept myself busy for a while. Did laundry. Watched my favorite tv show. And then I hit a wall. I got hungey. Nothing sounds good to me. The...

Ness · Ness

Hi MIP family....I haven't been posting much but check in here most days to read, re-focus and pick up reminders that it works if I work it. In reading the post by YVR ((((((thank you YVR))))) it gave me food for thought, made me look harder at myself & placed me back on step 1. Im spiralling into negat...

stephaniej · stephaniej

It's been awhile since I've checked in...end of school year rush has given me lots of non-A things to focus on (which is good!). I definitely feel like I'm working my program fairly well, and seeing meaningful results. I've started doing several things that help keep me from obsessing/focusing on...

glad lee · glad lee

"Be committed to the relationship you have with yourself. We get so committed to other relationships, but we sort of toss ourselves away. We get around to ourselves only now and then. So, really care for who you are. Take care of your heart and soul." This was from Louise Hay's faceboo...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, went to a small mini convention over the weekend. In the afternoon had the opportunity to hear some AA shares. One gentlemans share was the best share I have ever heard. He spoke how people caled him holy.... He said he looked it up in the dictionary the word Holy and it said wholesome. he s...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	He's in the money! (Preview) So, the exA just got about 50K of my retirement in the divorce. He's back from Vegas..bought us a big-screen TV, bought 10 year old new $70 Baseball glove (on sale), bought 15 year old a food de-hydrator (bc I mentioned he wanted one for his b-day in august) bought himself a new camera, and yesterday boug...	rehprof	9	687	Jun 12, 2012 by GailMichelle
	just now stumbling in (Preview) Hi folks. I am mary ann. I saw the nice video John posted in the sticky department and thought this might be a place to go. I have an alcoholic abusive husband. my husband and i have been together sin 1983. Been married and raised our sons to adulthood for the last 25 years. I went to an al anon meeting about 2...	marycontrary	9	626	Jun 12, 2012 by marycontrary
	Roles (Preview) Hi all, I thought a lot about my childhood and my AB today. Let me tell you about a situation I just had on the phone with him, as he is on a business trip in Asia right now. I told him I would love to communicate more with him about our sex life and I also suggested a relationship therapy session. After the conv...	Smukke	4	365	Jun 12, 2012 by Smukke
	Conflicting needs (Preview) I've been thinking about this a real lot lately, as this is a recurring theme in my relationship right now. My question for you is this: "How does one deal with conflicting needs in a healthy respectful way?" it often seems that my and my partner's needs clash, and while I am big oncompromise...	Tigger	2	351	Jun 12, 2012 by Temple
	Unmanageability: Spirituality (Preview) Hi everyone. Im doing some step worksheets from my local CODA website. I have been to 1 mtg in addition to al anon, and am looking forward to trying the steps. The part I am on is listing ways that my life reflects unmanagability. Currentlu working on "spirituality". I have been writing out m...	CDK	6	851	Jun 12, 2012 by Oksie
	helping my son (Preview) my son moved in with me last year in feb.he had been liveing out onhis own with freinds for 6 years when he came home to me in feb.he was very,very sick almost dead ,he is 26 y/o i rushed him to the er next day afer he moved back in he has severe sleep apnea and oxygen dropping down to 71,not even good scared me ,s...	silent	5	508	Jun 12, 2012 by silent
	Can I (and should I) give up this particular form of ¨saving him¨? (Preview) Today is a religious holiday here. A left for the village at 9 am ¨to watch the procession¨. OK, that takes about 30 minutes. He wasn't home yet at 1 pm but I figured he was in a cantina drinking, not my business. A few minutes later our friend who was here doing some work came looking for me. He said someone...	pineapple	13	479	Jun 11, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Blind Sided (Preview) I'm new to the forum and in a bit of a crisis. I'm a child of an alcoholic - my own struggles with life took me down a similar path = drugs. I thought I was better than my alcoholic Father in that I was functional. My 20yr son came to me one day and said "Mom, you're doing too much of this stuff". ...	Path to Serenity	6	610	Jun 11, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	PAIN (Preview) ~ PAIN ~:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain."Kahlil Gibran:~~:. .:~*~:. ....	Fina	1	332	Jun 11, 2012 by CDK
	Mr. Nice Guy, AH texts, and yep letting go! (Preview) This weekend I got to spend some time with a Nice Guy. It was business, not romantic, but friendly and personal. I had forgotten what it was like to be around a "normal" person. I have my good girlfriends, but it was refreshing to talk to a man in a healthy way. He looked me in my eyes, didn't w...	Dolly Llama	5	574	Jun 11, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	married to an alcholic! i need advice (Preview) I have been living with my husband for over 17 years as him being an alcholic! he stops then starts again.. i need help. he has loss jobs over this and friends. we have beautiful kids together and now it is effecting them.. he is a great husband and father when he isnt drinking. and he is refusing help!! i am...	mstee	4	545	Jun 11, 2012 by littlehawk
	alcoholism battle is over (Preview) As any who has read my bio, I have fought this monster for only a short period of time but have suffered so much of what this disease can bring. However, early last week, my wife suffered a brain hemorage as a result of untreated high blood pressure from her heavy drinking. Although she has regained a lo...	mr5191	10	563	Jun 11, 2012 by Corgi2
	I went away (Preview) Hi I went away for a week for my work. My husband could not come with me as we couldn't afford the unpaid time off work for him. That meant me leaving him at home alone. I do not cope well with that for a variety of reasons. I spoke to my psychologist about it and she gave me some tips and also I used the steps a...	Oksie	5	604	Jun 11, 2012 by Pushka
	The "What If's" (Preview) My ASon is drinking less lately, has a new relationship, but is not completely dry and not attending AA. I know about the 3C's. But I guess my fear is that tomorrow his wedding day "What If" he drinks too much, that keeps playing over and over again in my head. I know I have no control. I think it i...	oldergal	4	560	Jun 11, 2012 by Oksie
	Why is this frightening? (Preview) Married 9 years, separated three. Two children, 8 and 9 who are now noticing. Not violent, just becomes rude and very snappy towards me. I can't reply.....sometimes I try, and he says it will stop. It doesn't. I'm lonely, as he's not always the same. He's three hours late from work, I know where he is. He...	privateshame	8	550	Jun 10, 2012 by privateshame
	Destructive eating (Preview) Today realized a new way that my codependency harms me. I was getting upset today at work about one of the clients in our drug treatment program who we suspect is selling out in the parking lot. Now it's simple, you get caught selling you get discharged. However, I started getting upbout or him about his...	Chaya	8	669	Jun 10, 2012 by Lucy 333
	Heard from my ex today. (Preview) I got a call from my ex-A today. I let it go to voice mail cuz I was out with my current partner having lunch. The ex stated he wanted to talk about his latest book he is writing. He writes when drinking and sometimes it comes out pretty decent, but none of it is going to win a pulitzer or anything. That wou...	pinkchip	12	739	Jun 10, 2012 by Lucy 333
	Intuition (Preview) Hi all. I had a really cool experience yesterday. I went to an intuitive medium. I know I know, I wasn't a big believer in that kind of stuff but I was curious so I gave it a shot. She knew SO much about me and the things Im going through. It was beyond cool. She gave me some more confirmation that ending my rela...	Corgi2	6	566	Jun 10, 2012 by maryjane
	COURAGE (Preview) :~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~"You will either step forward into growth, or you will step back into safety."Abraham Maslow:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~In my early years in program, one of my sponsors told me, "You're in a very wel...	Fina	2	282	Jun 10, 2012 by maryjane
	What does "Mamas and Papas" meeting mean?? (Preview) I see meetings listed as "Mamas and Papas AFG". What does this mean??	Lalu	6	4213	Jun 10, 2012 by Lucy 333
	Letting go... (Preview) It seems to be a fresh set of pain everyday. Ive really kind of lost track of time. Im really frustrated. Ive been sitting at home alone basically for 3 weeks. I leave only to go to the store, work, and meetings. I come home, and sit. I watch tv, and come here. This is no life. Its nothing but some kind of bubbl...	CDK	6	655	Jun 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Time to think (Preview) I hope I'm posting in the right place - this is the first time I've used a forum, so please forgive me if I get any of the ettiquette wrong. I just need to get something 'out there', before I break. My A woke me this morning with a query about copyright. I answered as best I could but apparently in the wrong ton...	Lilac	13	837	Jun 9, 2012 by Breakingfree
	it looks like... (Preview) It looks like...according to the doctors; that I have authritis. For those of you who have been following me for years, I am finally going to find a solution to my condition. They have not really officially diagnosed me as I have not been to the rhumatologist yet. I am anxious to find out what is up w/ me fo...	Hoot Nanny	2	265	Jun 10, 2012 by pineapple
	Feeling Low (Preview) My AH, Stephen, died last August of alcohol related conditions. But right now I am re-living the hell I went through this time last year.Try as I might to consign it to a box with tight fitting lid, it keeps rearing it's ugly head. It's the awful things that I flung at OH that keep springing to mind. I even s...	Tattyhead	7	486	Jun 9, 2012 by Debilyn
	Courtesy, one day at a time (Preview) Today's topic in the book One Day at a Time in Al-Anon is about courtesy. To quote the passage: "The warmth and kidness of courtesy will take the sting out fo the resentments, and give dignity and importance to the members of my household, making them feel secure and loved." Today I had a p...	Lalu	14	833	Jun 9, 2012 by pinkchip
	Sick ramblings... (Preview) Hi everyone. (hugs) Well, Ive posted a lot about how I havent been able to eat or to sleep. Aaaand now Im sick. Body ache, fever, chills...the whole shebang. And it makes me think about some things. Self-care comes to mind. Ive done my best, but my lack of self care got me here for sure. Lesson in that for...	CDK	5	580	Jun 9, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Other expectations (Preview) I know that expectations are something in Al-Anon we have to really recognize and come to terms with. When we place expectations on others and they aren't met, it's a source of frustration. I find myself still working on the expectations for myself and just when I think I've recognized them and can id...	AStrongerMe	6	514	Jun 9, 2012 by Elizabeth10
	Exhaustion (Preview) I have been exhausted for years. I have come, slowly, to believe that it is because I am still being actively controlled and abused by my aging parents who have always projected their chaos, anxiety, blame, etc onto me. As they age and are aware that I know the deal now, they are getting even more contro...	WorkingThroughIt	7	589	Jun 9, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	stress reduction (Preview) For those of us who live around alcoholics stress is a huge issue. I know when I lived aorund the ex A illness was a big issue for me. I got sick often because I was so worn down. In the last year I've been working 7 days a week in order to try to dig myself out of debt and get some needs met. Needless to say event...	maresie	7	680	Jun 9, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	reading/learning (Preview) I read the book the new codependency (Beaty is the aurthor I beleive) ..it was the follow up to Codependent no more... I found myself getting stronger and just connecting to the reading feeling some personal strength etc Doing great on detachment for the most part. Now Im trying to read It will neve...	sweeetr	6	525	Jun 8, 2012 by Daisy Girl
	Need ESH re: AH correcting me (Preview) Hey all, any wisdom or ideas for dealing with constantly being corrected? I want to yell and scream, "what I said is NOT wrong!" These are minor things... different adjectives for crying out loud! I am thinking about carrying a dictionary and thesaurus, to prove we are saying the same thin...	Daisy Girl	7	953	Jun 8, 2012 by Daisy Girl
	Please send some prayers for my Dad (Preview) The past week has been rough, no doubt. I have been a rock. But today, I finally broke down. I allowed myself to break down, but I had a short time of feeling guilty about being emotional. That website I posted a link to this morning helped me through today.... and all of the support I feel in Al-anon and thi...	littlehawk	10	361	Jun 8, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	Alone and Axious (Preview) I don't really know what I hope to accomplish with posting this but I feel I need to write down how I am feeling because I am at an extreme point of loneliness and anxiety. I met my spouse about 4 years ago. During the first few years we were together there were occasions that he would binge drink too much but...	Mer	8	562	Jun 8, 2012 by Daisy Girl
	Feeling my feelings (Preview) After years of reflection, prayer, and angst, I made the decision to end my marriage to an alcoholic a few months ago. Al Anon taught me how to deal with myself and my feelings in a healthy way. It has really been a journey of learning how to live for the very first time. My experience of coping during th...	Dolly Llama	9	924	Jun 8, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Bedtime stories (Preview) Hey all, I do not have many details to tell, because not much is happening. Today is one of those days when I find myself dissatisfied and angry. Every few months I am bringing this subject up, but my AB is waiting for the perfect conditions: A place (rental apartment is not good enough), a new job (he was S...	Smukke	5	427	Jun 8, 2012 by Smukke
	When it's right (Preview) Hugs to all, I have had so many lessons and many of them very excruciatingly humbling .. lol. I have had much egg on my face and still fight against the tide to figure out where I need to be, in that respect I don't think I'm much different than many addicts in coming to the idea that I have to surrender. It...	Pushka	5	466	Jun 8, 2012 by Jerry F
	My husband is in hospital (Preview) He has been ill for some time with a heart problem which has been caused by stress, over the past few months he has gone more and more down hill. He was up all last night, breathless, panicy & scared, saw his doc this lunchtime who, at long last after having him swallow all kinds of pills, has had him ad...	Ness	12	544	Jun 8, 2012 by oldergal
	Comprehensive List of Alanon Literature? (Preview) wolfies post about a "blueprint" got me wondering...is there such a thing in alanon literature? is there a list somewhere of alanon materials and related books (like beatties work)?	rehprof	5	3195	Jun 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Learning my triggers (Preview) After 6 days under my belt of my final goodbye to my recovering alcoholic boyfriend; 6 days of feeling strong; 6 days of insight; 6 days without regret for my decision, I have had 2 days Of bring triggered to go back. Because of my clarity for almost a week I could identify that I was triggered to call him be...	Chaya	4	443	Jun 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	COMPASSION (Preview) ~ COMPASSION ~:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~*~"How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because sometime in your life you will have been all...	Fina	5	459	Jun 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Damage Control/Venting (Preview) Hi, I'm new to these forums, and new to Al-Anon (I'm planning on going to my first meeting this evening). I hope this isn't too long. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, living together for all of it (we were roommates before we were a couple). I would say that he has drinking binges on...	StormBird	5	463	Jun 8, 2012 by StormBird
	MINUTES TO 6/3 ALANON BUSINESS MEETING (Preview) First, I want to apologize for being late in posting these. Second apology is for not logging the meeting so I could be closer to exact words. All that being said, the below is offered for your review and correction. Please feel free to respond with your recollection of either of the motions. A Tent...	Fina	0	439	Jun 7, 2012 by Fina
	Newcomers to the meeting (Preview) I keep thinking about my meeting this past Tuesday. We had 5 newcomers. So we cut the program portion short in order to share our story of what brought us to Al-Anon and allow the newcomers to share if they wished. Some of us have 10+ years and others have been coming only a few weeks, and everything in betw...	Jackie11	2	306	Jun 7, 2012 by hotrod
	Knowing (Preview) I have identified one of my necessary goals as: Knowing/learning what I want. What DO I want? While I don't have to know exactly per se, I need to have an idea. I want to have an idea, in order to move toward it and begin to make appropriate, healthy decisions aligned with this goal. What do I need? What...	KLotus	2	520	Jun 7, 2012 by sookie
	The Elevator Is Broken (Preview) A friend of mine has a cute little saying. The elevator is broken so you better take the steps. I realized the truth in that statement just last week. Nancy and I have been around for a while now, in Al-Anon I mean, not necessarily at this site. I think Nancy has about thirty years to my 16. And we're double w...	Wolfie55	4	413	Jun 7, 2012 by Sweet Stanley
	The TableCloth Story (Preview) Alrightey, just a little story for anyone with a sense of humor. My wife and I have been happily married for 12 and a half years and this is one of the reasons. About a month ago, I'm on the computer doing whatever and she comes up behind me and asks me a question. She sometimes does that whenever she's tired...	Wolfie55	6	494	Jun 7, 2012 by Sweet Stanley
	When the A is nice and normal (Preview) I know this is a weird question but what do you do when all of a sudden the A in your life gets normal? You know, like pleasant, cooperative, nonconfrontational, helpful, etc. I want to let my guard down but I have so many walls up that I never know what to do. It's that roller coaster that they put us on an...	ilovedogs	8	607	Jun 7, 2012 by surfgirl123
	am I in the wrong? (Preview) We have a few guys over here who are doing some work on our deck and their is a new guy who gave me the creepiest feeling when I met him today. I know the other guys but this guy was new and immediately-I felt uncomfortable. He kept looking me up and down and trying to talk to me. So when the guy I knew came to...	willowtree	6	457	Jun 7, 2012 by surfgirl123
	The token "alcoholic meltdown mass email to the family" (Preview) I never thought I'd see the day. I've heard about it many times in the rooms of Al-Anon and here on the message board. But it was one of those things I'd sit and think... "hmm... well, no one in my family has done that. Wow." And yet as I open my email this morning, there one sits. And I am sooooooo g...	Aloha	4	602	Jun 7, 2012 by surfgirl123
	A bit lost (Preview) I've never posted on this before, but have been looking for and finding strength in these posts for a few weeks. My AH has been relapsing over the last month -- about once a week. Each time, it's like a ton of bricks that hits me and I see our whole future imploding in front of me. Of course, he regrets the rel...	Findinghope	6	413	Jun 7, 2012 by Findinghope
	10th Step Format (Preview) Would anyone be interested in sharing how they do a daily personal inventory? I would love to read your posts about this. I have developped a format for myself based on what I read in the AA Big Book, but with some additional questions for myself about taking care of my physical health and about positive...	Iamgood	5	1734	Jun 7, 2012 by Fina
	How do u live with yourself? (Preview) Morning. I have a question. I used to wonder how my A could get up every day, knowing what he did the night before, and just seem to be totally cool with himself. At that time, I wondered how he could look me straight in the eye, and just act normal and guilt free. Now, I am wondering how to live with myself. I s...	CDK	12	673	Jun 7, 2012 by hotrod
	My A son is facing jail time (Preview) New hearing is scheduled for 6/12. Third DUI while on probation for the second one. 2nd one he got 1 year suspended jail time. It looks like now that he has violated that he may have to do the 1 year. A son will have 11 months recovery on the 27th. He is very involved in AA. He does a lot of service work. He speak...	Gailey	11	610	Jun 7, 2012 by Debilyn
	"hey Doc, it hurts when I do this!" - "Well, don't do that!!" (Preview) Coping with stress is not something I do very well, I'm learning. Somewhere between my childhood of never telling anybody anything and playing it off as if I'm a-okay -- and adulthood-learned confrontation of all issues head on, I got screwed up. Confrontation - even non agressive but assertive - do...	littlehawk	2	492	Jun 7, 2012 by sweeetr
	looking back (Preview) im starting to think back as a child growing up in a alcoholic home,and how he my father being the a effected me and why its still pretty much the same way today of how i feel toward the a,i would push my dad the a then away from me and how i hated him for what he done to our family and how my mom would have us kids ge...	silent	3	405	Jun 7, 2012 by hotrod
	Grumble (Preview) Well, I have appeared to have past the crying my eyes out phase, and am in this weird place. Ive had a weird evening. Got home from work, and have had to deal with myself. I kept myself busy for a while. Did laundry. Watched my favorite tv show. And then I hit a wall. I got hungey. Nothing sounds good to me. The...	CDK	5	403	Jun 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Big MIP hug would be GREAT (Preview) Hi MIP family....I haven't been posting much but check in here most days to read, re-focus and pick up reminders that it works if I work it. In reading the post by YVR ((((((thank you YVR))))) it gave me food for thought, made me look harder at myself & placed me back on step 1. Im spiralling into negat...	Ness	11	742	Jun 6, 2012 by Gailey
	I'm Doing Well! (Preview) It's been awhile since I've checked in...end of school year rush has given me lots of non-A things to focus on (which is good!). I definitely feel like I'm working my program fairly well, and seeing meaningful results. I've started doing several things that help keep me from obsessing/focusing on...	stephaniej	5	286	Jun 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Self-Care (Preview) "Be committed to the relationship you have with yourself. We get so committed to other relationships, but we sort of toss ourselves away. We get around to ourselves only now and then. So, really care for who you are. Take care of your heart and soul." This was from Louise Hay's faceboo...	glad lee	12	677	Jun 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Wholesome. (Preview) Hi everyone, went to a small mini convention over the weekend. In the afternoon had the opportunity to hear some AA shares. One gentlemans share was the best share I have ever heard. He spoke how people caled him holy.... He said he looked it up in the dictionary the word Holy and it said wholesome. he s...	Tracy	2	389	Jun 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.