Feeling Low - Al-Anon Family Group

Tattyhead · Senior Member

Feeling Low

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Dear Tattyhead))))

Grieving the loss of my son, who passed from this dreadful disease, was very much the same as you describe.

I am so glad that you brought your sadness and mental anguish here, where we understand as few others can.

Please have compassion on yourself. Aka non taught me to forgive myself for any off handed remark I made out of fear and anger.

Your husband and my son knew that they were loved and that we were there That was the greatest gift we could have given.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Ness · ~*Service Worker*~

((((Dear Trish))))), Ive been wondering how you were doing.

Im sorry for your pain.

I understand and empathise with what you are saying. I lost my Ason last October.

I too am struggling at the moment, & I ditto what Betty says......

It's a process, minute at a time...... but it's tougher some days more than others.

Glad to see you here.

Hope your son is doing fine.

Love to you & yours

Ness x

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

Hugs Tatty,

Sending you lots of love and support, grief is a slow process, allow yourself a lot of room to do it. More importantly be very very gentle with yourself that's a tremendous loss and it's not been very long.

Hugs P

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

(((((Tatty))))) I have also missed you...hope you are not trying to go thru the loss alone. You have a big family in support. Good to see you posting. (((((hugs))))) smile

Bettina · ~*Service Worker*~

Sorry for your loss Tatty,

Dont beat yourself up. I have to admit I have blurted out to the X alcholic "you should die." He has come pretty damn close many times. Our words dont have the power to make somebody die and guilt is a wasted emotion. The alcoholic is the sole person responsibile for his life, same as anybody else.

Time will heal you....Stephen has already been released. This is your time now. Please keep coming back. All my best to you.

Luv, Bettina

Jennifer · ~*Service Worker*~

Hello (((Tatty)))

I have thought of you as well. I'm glad to see your post and sorry for the pain and grief that prompted it.

During the worst point of my exAH's drinking before I was able to move out of our home, my neighbor passed away in a horrible accident. He left behind his pregnant wife and young child from a previous relationship. He was a nice man ... I even remember him waking my exAH who had passed out in the driver's seat of the car during summer days when it was dangerous. Anyway I was so angry this man was taken from his family when, honestly, had my exAH died instead ... my life and his would have been simpler, maybe even better. The words, Higher Power you were off by one house, are etched in my memory. I know my exAH felt my anger and maybe even wished it for himself too. I think he also understood my thoughts were not vicious. We all think and do things we are not proud of while in angry and fearful situations. Be gentle on yourself. Sending support to you during this difficult time.

Jen

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

This is perfectly normal. You are still very young in your grieving!!

Let me tell you something that made me feel better ok?

Right before my first husband went out, got drunk, got in an accident and died, we had a huge fight. Not even a fight but I told him I was giving up as he drove with our babies drunk. Did not mean I did not love him, but I had to make us safe.

When he died I felt so so so awful, guilty,was my fault. Then I realized no matter what he said or I said we would have forgiven each other and been back to ok.

I am willing to bet if your A got better he would have forgiven anything you said and you would have forgiven him. We tend to cross the line sometimes when it is with our closest person.

Please forgive yourself. He was so sick and probably could not take anything to heart anyway.

I remember many years ago a gal in England was with her dying husband. He still wanted to drink. So bless her heart she went and got it for him. Then about a week before he actually died he stopped. Just stopped, and she and their kids had time with him as close as he could be to who he was with out the disease control.

My now ex AH, I pray for him all the time to find peace. Whatever that is. Of course I don't want him to die, yet I wish it would be over for him. He is so miserable.

Please be gentle with yourself. We cannot help how we associate times of the year to our lost ones. Mines been gone over thirty years and times it hits me and its like it just happened. Especially when the dogwood is blooming, daffodils and forget me nots. And for some reason I hurt for him as I thought he would never feel the warm sand between his toes again.

hugging you! debilyn

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