10th Step Format - Al-Anon Family Group

Iamgood · Member

10th Step Format

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

I like to do mine like a plus side and a needs work side and when I started I did it more regularly. If I worked out, I wrote it in on the plus side, if I said something to someone I wasn't proud of on that day it went on the needs work side and I would do it and the end of the day each day and I got better at journaling for a time. I should have read about this in the AA book I have one, but rarely read out of it. This is how I took my 4th step and was better able to really look at myself the good, bad and ugly and realize it was okay to not be perfect and get more comfy in my fleshy suit. I accept now I am a work in progress and I don't beat myself up over catching myself needing work on something because it's all about progress not perfection. Sending you love and support!

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

I accepted a value system back when I was growing up in the program and a constant relationship with my Higher Power who I am in communication with constantly. I also exercised my conscience and polished it up so that my value system was being monitored and I was alerted when I was right on or going away from it...the stuff that leads me toward guilt and shame. I worked out on the meaning of promptly so that I made it a habit to apologize and make right for things I did off of my value system and to do it face to face without regard to the response from the person I harmed or hurt. I don't let myself off the hook where others might.

This is an important post for me because it increases the value of the program in my life.

Mahalo for bringing it up...((((hugs)))) smile

tinygirl · Newbie

Step 10: "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." Thank you for raising this question. It reminds me of one of my personal goals, why Al-anon meetings continue to be important to me. Conciously working step 10 on a daily basis helps me maintain my sanity by making sure I take action to keep all my interactions "clean". Since I am not perfect I sometimes get my feelings hurt or hurt someone else's feelings. Step 10 gives me the opportunity to speak up and apologize. I know that I need to make amends for something if I have a queasy feeling in my stomach. I can write or make aprogram call to practice the amend during times when I'm especially nervous. Once again, thank you! I do not have a queasy feeling in my tummy today because of Al-anon and Step 10.

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

I suppose I should have mentioned when I do write down in my journal my plus and needs work side, I am accountable to the people I have wronged in order to keep my side of the street clean, even if I just say to them I am sorry and hope you forgive me for yadayada and move on with my day. Sending you love and support!

Fina · Veteran Member

Here's what I use . . . then I email it to my step buddy every night (almost):

10th Step Guidelines

It's a good idea to start with a prayer. For example:

"God, please help me review my day. Please grant me the willingness to see what you would have me see, in the light you would have me see it: free from morbid reflection, fear, obsessive guilt, and dishonesty."

The following guide is drawn from Alcoholics Anonymous (pp. 84-86):

1. Was I resentful? .

2. Selfish? .

3. Dishonest? .

4. Afraid? .

5. Do I owe an apology? .

6. Have I kept something to myself which should be discussed with another person at once? .

7. Was I kind and loving toward all? .

8. What could I have done better? .

9. Was I thinking of my wants most of the time? .

10. Or was I thinking of what service I could do for Program? .

After making our review we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.

At all times we continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up we:

1. Ask God at once to remove them.

2. We discuss them with someone immediately.

3. And make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. .

4. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help.

-- Edited by Fina on Thursday 7th of June 2012 09:35:52 AM

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.