Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

So today is my Birthday:) My S/O is working. I know he has breaks inbetween, he hasn't bothered to text me. That is ok :) It would be nice, but not necessary. This am he got up and went right for his phone to check his Facebook. I started to hang up the laundry. He is like what? You aren't going to talk to me? Hon...

diane99 · diane99

Hello, I am new here and this is my first posting. My husband is a binge drinker and because of the trouble he has caused in the past with family and jobs, etc. he cannot live with the guilt. He can go for months without a drink, but I might say one wrong thing about the past and he is off on a binge again. I ha...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

I am not sure what books to start with? My S/O isn't actively drinking, or using. He just has severe depression & some of the behaviours I have read (sounds like he exhibits an addict traits). Does that make sense? So the book Getting Them Sober ~ would I benefit from it? Can I order it online, or woul...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

I have seen Online Meetings (email). Can someone explain what it is? What is it for?

ilovkevin · ilovkevin

Well next month will be 1 yr Kevin and I have been together. We truely feel like soul mates, the one thing I can trust is that we are really in love. In the begining of our relationship one of his best friends (Matt) from high school drove me 300 miles to visit Kevin. What happened was very distrubing and le...

tortuga · tortuga

Today I feel kind of helpless. My family left afetr 3 weeks visit, and several discussions and adressing problems related to alcohol, for which I'm glad, even though a realize it has been toug hon my parents. I sometimes feel guilty for being the only one speaking up in this family, all the other member...

guiltytwin · guiltytwin

Hi, Let me make a short introduction here. I'am a young woman who lives togehter with her boyfriend. I am also the daughter of 2 alcohol adicts. Both my parents are alcholics and are really doing bad. (i will not bore you with my difficult history and how they started drinking) Both my parents are i real...

erleichda · erleichda

I understand that alcoholism is a disease. I don't understand why in the year 2012 we are relying primarily on a program thought up a century ago. I can see the positive aspects of AA and Alanon, but most of those can be learned through other therapy. The slogans and prayer just remind me of faith healing...

suebama · suebama

I'm a newbie and have a lot to learn, but I think I may be picking up on some things, thanks to all y'all: 1. I need to concentrate on myself and not on him, 2. Who my AXH dates and what he does is none of my business and he's probably not as happy as I imagine him to be, 3. My life is worth living without him, 4....

Theemettaart · Theemettaart

Hi again, Since things are getting worse with my (our) dad, he has been using pretty heavy medications. He is using Diazepam and Zaldiar ( a medication with tramadol included). Now both mecdications recommend not using any alchol what so ever. I have tried telling my mom about the use of alchol, beca...

JJ21 · JJ21

Went to a Co-dependents meeting last night and it was a little fun. They are lighter and focus on detachment from our own obsessive thoughts and worrying and needy people, which is a good thing. I was reading the book and the whole time I keep thinking (Oh this would work for so and so) lol. Classic examp...

Bettina · Bettina

"Love is the absence of Judgment". "The best relationship is one in which your love for eachother exceeds your need for each other."

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/p/reply/?topicID=50545019

JJ21 · JJ21

Went to an Alanon meeting tonight at a center where they also hold AA meetings. I'm in a large city so the meeting are large as well. I found it interesting that the men for the AA meetings were hanging out in front and flirting with all the women going into the Alanon meeting. My, thought was like don't...

tortuga · tortuga

Is it me or am I just being tried on or tested by the A? I wake up, i'm happy, because I'm being me. I chat with the A, and in 2 seconds out of the blue, he manges to have turned the conversation on about alcohol, his desire to drink and a final sentence 'you don't respect my feelings, you try to make me sad, you wa...

LMar · LMar

This is my first time here, so please bare with me. My common law husband is addicted to pain killers for a little more than 3 yrs now. Finally he went to rehab, a 21 day program at an amazing house.He came out positive and seemed to have a new lease on life. He's been home a week and as been acting like he has be...

freeagain · freeagain

I am ending a relationship I have had for about 5 months. I am so addicted to this guy. I recognise this about me. I have actually been super aware of MY character defects through out. But it hasn't made it any easier. At all. He isnt an alcoholic but he def has issues and isms. And here's why i am so addicted....

Doozy · Doozy

Hi All, I haven't been posting much for quite a while, but I have been reading often. I just wanted to say THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart to the WONDERFUL people on this board. I can't even tell you how much I have learned here and how much you have helped me. It's amazing. We may never know each other'...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

So I started school for my RN last week and can see I will have to put all my extra energy into my school work to keep my GPA up to keep my financial aid. The boyfriend and I are doing great and are having many adventures and I finally feel like I am living and out of my head more than ever. My exAH has been strug...

pineapple · pineapple

..the next few days is going to be tough. My A is finally leaving, moving back with family. Of course my emotions are all over the place. But right now I'm just trying to get through the next few days. I've tried to get him to start packing, he shows no interest, says he doesn't need anything. For awhile he h...

rehprof · rehprof

In a weird way, time has proven me to be right about my ex-A. I have always felt judged by his family...as if I was making up the degree to which his behavior was a problem...and his sisters still insist that he is doing okay when they talk to me. Then there is reality. He talked to me briefly the other day abo...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, i shared how my ex abf has not had a drink for over a weak and I let him stay here while sorts himself out. Thanks for your ESH on this lots of objectivity and clarity. I have helped so much over the years and now I have had my own pace for about six months I have gain serenity and grown alot. I had a talk wi...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Depression, anxiety and panic attacks are not a sign of weakness. They are signs of having to remain strong for too long. Did you know 1 in 3 of us go through this at some point in our lives? Would you post this on your wall for at least one day? Most people won't but it's Mental Health Awareness Week. S...

Theemettaart · Theemettaart

Hi there, My (twin) sister (quiltytwin) told me about this messageboard, so thanks to my sister! Well as she has written, both our parents are severe alcholics. They are now to that point that they are in a really bad situation. They are (in my opinion) at point of no- return. Well to make a long story sh...

Canyondude · Canyondude

My wife has started going to AA a few weeks ago. The holy spirit compelled her to go. She will hit 30 days sober soon. She has a sponsor and will begin Step 1 soon. She, at times, wants to discuss some of the themes that she is going through. I offered my own 2 cents and every time she says I don't understan...

cky73 · cky73

I had went to a "real life" Al-Anon meeting, and it just wasn't for me. I can't get through a whole meeting without being at the point of tears and people that know me know I am too proud to cry, or at least I try to be numb so I don't cry; it's the only way I really know how to cope. So the internet feel...

Rosie77 · Rosie77

I need to get myself to a face to face meeting. But first I think in my head I need to know at what point or what determines that someone is an alcaholic? Which is probably why I haven't been to a meeting yet. Do I belong there? Am I making a big deal out of nothing? My husband drinks every day. Even more so n...

angiedd · angiedd

Think I need advise on how to handle the arrogance of the dry alcoholic who doesnt attend meetings anymore... ? Im not sure why my husband doesnt attend meetings anymore. Im not even sure if my husband ever had a sponsor like he said he did..? wouldnt the sponsor being contacting him after missing m...

jitsuka · jitsuka

Hi everyone. I'm a grateful member of al-anon. The A in my life is my partner, she's a 'secret' bedroom drinker. Her mum was an A too (sober now, but health is quite damaged). I'm having a pretty stressful time of things really. I started a PhD last year but have just found out that I've not passed the 1st ye...

JJ21 · JJ21

To sum it up quickly. Married 9 years, I left over sneak drinking, he tried to get me back still drinking said no. A year later we both started seeing each other again long distance 5hrs apart so it was weekends. He was thrilled, bought me a new ring and we were working it out or so I thought. He had been l...

sonikk · sonikk

i am very new to this whole process. i have not joined al-anon..am a little apprehensive..can you give me a debriefing on the initial process..who its for, what u do, what is required(timewise, moneywise)??? i completely picked myself and my 2 children up ..moved 300 miles away from my codependant r...

silent · silent

my sis,with the 2 little girls,has robbed me also,i trusted her around my purse with my meds in it that are considered narcotic now that i have to have for my arthritis and joint pain,she took 15 of them from my bottle,just finding this out cause its not the 1st time she has stolen pills from me,i just thou...

silent · silent

ive closed the doors agin toward my sister for how can i find forgiveness in my heart for what she done to her 13 y/o daughter ,my neice out on the feild the otherday ,theres no justifying takeing a 13y/o by the ear and twisting it till the lttle girl hollered out ouch and then hollering out for her 13 y/o to g...

silent · silent

ive been wakeing up past 2 mornings at 3am crying my eyeballs out,missing my daughter and grandbabies,only daughter and grandbabies i have,and i dont ever think ill ever get to share or be with them agin,they been liveing over seas for the last 7 yrs my sil joined airforce back 7 yrs ago,and that was tha...

Pipper · Pipper

Hi everyone my ah just called to tell me he is stopping in the bar on the way home from work and hell be home by 8.i do appreciate the call because usually hell just not answer the phone so that is progress but I still feel very nervous is he going to drink alot tonight? What if he meets someone (my own issue bec...

LeahC · LeahC

Hello, It's been a while since I have made a post. I have alot of frustration pent up that I need to get off my chest. So here I go... My ABF finally got fired from his job. My 2 year old was sick and so I stayed home with her from work. He decided not to go in either. Convenient excuse for him to get out of work sayi...

shaune90 · shaune90

Hi everybody, I just joined this forum 30 seconds ago because i need advice... My mom is an alcoholic and dropped off the deep end about a year ago. Since then I have desperately tried to save her and done everything in my power to no avail. I went to an al anon meeting last night and it opened my eyes to the fa...

suebama · suebama

Here's my situation: I don't live with my A, we're recently divorced. And he's sober, has been for 25 years. He shouldn't still be influencing my life and apparently has moved on with a new gf. So, I "should" be fine, I wanted out of the marriage bc he is a dry drunk and drove me into anxiety...

Tracy · Tracy

Mt ex bf has been on a big slip for about 6 months h has not hasd a drink for a week and has asked if he can stay here for couple of days while gets accommodation and back to AA. I have supported him in the past but this time is differnt. I know he has nothing to give me , I understand that we can not b together I am no...

Artpulse · Artpulse

Tonight was my 5th al-anon meeting and i am feeling upset on how it was handled. The first 4 meetings left me feeling hopeful. I thought i had found my tribe! I had hit the bottom of depression and was isolating-even the people I loved most. Tonight's reading included a passage on despair. When it was my...

jerseygirl · jerseygirl

My bf is a binge drinker and has been living w/me for 6 months. We have gone thru the cycle a few times of him drinking for days on end. I quit drinking 45 days ago and his drinking is a threat to my sobriety. I thought we would do this together but obviously this is not the case. Well I finally threw him out...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Last night my AH was excited by the preseason game. His comment, last year I didn't get excited about football because we were fighting all the time... I bit my tongue. Even if he hadn't been drinking I would have bit my tongue. WE were not fighting, you were acting like a huge gigantic jerk, ALL THE FLIP...

silent · silent

we talk everyday onthe phone,at nite he calls me while he is drinking ,this is when i thank my lucky stars that i dont have to be around that anymore his drinking, missing him is just part of it,i know this will also pass,i know i can get through this,its just soo sad that as good and skilled a man he is that he...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

Could use some advice today. I know my AH hasn't been sober, he says he is - says he doesn't feel the need to drink, but I know he has been drinking. For some reason this morning I decided to look through the trash, and there they were, two empty vodka bottles. I know he was home yesterday while I was working a...

Rosie77 · Rosie77

Sometimes I feel like my alcaholic husband doesn't want to talk to me when his sober. His snappy, unresponsive and miserable. I spend my time feeling like have done something wrong. I have started to get my life back together by doing things that I enjoy for a while we were simply only going to the pub o...

willowtree · willowtree

I don't know if anyone here does EFT or knows anything about Brad Yates. I love listening to his videos - I don't always tap along. This one is great on "Playing the victim" He even says the Serenity Prayer. For me it was very powerful and I felt it was along the lines of Alanon. So I wanted t...

silent · silent

my sister,only sister that i have here in this town is acting crazy i dont know what to do,she takes suboxin,which is a medicine to keep u off opiates and she was in a really bad car wreck over a year ago that broke her neck which she had major surgery,i went to with her to watch her beautiful baby girl cheer a...

isitmytime514 · isitmytime514

Hello, just joined here tonite... I was trying to read over some of the posts, and get a feel for the board. I read some from people that are broken up w/their prospective A. Am I crazy to want to work this out? We've been married 5 yrs... 2nd marriages for both of us. Is it possible, or am I just kidding m...

Micmin · Micmin

I am a sister of a 51 year old alcoholic who just moved in with me 2 months ago she previously had 13 years sobriety and lost her job and moved across country to live with me. To help me take care of my terminal I'll mother who is also living with me. She has been relapsing for past 5 weeks and she will go to a aa m...

almostgivenup · almostgivenup

Someone please remind me to NEVER get my hopes up again. Last Wednesday, my husband told me he wanted to dry out. I didn't want to, but I did get my hopes up, I even posted about it on here... We have gone through the detox and he has told me that he knows his drinking is driving us apart. Today he was being re...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, today AH forwarded an email to me regarding his sales incentive trip to Costa Rica. I needed to get back to him ASAP and let him know if I planned on going. His words to me were, "Let me know what you think of this." Apparently, he was supposed to respond a week ago for the cut off but neglec...

Diva · Diva

And he has taken lots of his "thingss" and has gone to live in his new apartment. I feel so delightfully giddy - most of the time. I can do what I wish when I wish to do it. No arguing, no crying, no nonsense, not pandering to a drunk. It is a huge relief. Finally, after all the years of vascill...

ntxalanon · ntxalanon

I just wanted to express my gratitude for alanon's everywhere who have helped me through many difficult times dealing with alcoholism and how I react to it and deal with a spouse who is an A. My wifes journey has had many twists, but after several relapses, 6 months, then 9 months, she has officially hi...

suebama · suebama

A friend of mine thinks I'm depressed and says I should take anti-depressants. I'm not asking anyone for advice, I know this is an outside issue, but I would like to know if my hysteria is normal or a little overboard. I'm afraid that pills will just prolong the inevitable. First of all, I have breast c...

tortuga · tortuga

After weeks of fear, distress, frustration and anxiety emotions and several of related posts, today I feel like sharing a positive emotion: returning calm through growing awareness! Reality has not become 'ideal', but there is movement, improvement...at least on my side. Because I have found MI...

meowdub3 · meowdub3

i really dont know where to begin, i have been w/my now fiance for a little over a year. since ive moved in with him ive seen very awful drinking episodes to the point where he blacks out is angry and mean and destorys the house due to vomiting and w/e have you... aside from that since hes been prescibed pres...

almostgivenup · almostgivenup

My husband told me yesterday that he wants to "dry out". He has done this before on his own. From what I have read and learned through my research it is very rare that an alcoholic can quit and never go back to the booze without some form of counseling. However, he will not go at this time. So...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Today, started out with the AH leaving me a message that he was at work so I was welcome to come hang out at the house for a while. I called back to tell him thanks for being so kind as to invite me to my own home and he started in with the victim attitude again. How it was my choice to leave and he has asked me ove...

regp · regp

Where to start? My husband finally decided to go thru a 35 day rehab. After 3 solid years of drinking and trying to stop....he was what you call a functional drunk. He worked and never made it into work late or didnt call in sick (at first). He started with beer every night after work...then graduated to...

Minaret · Minaret

After all these years of dealing with a challenging marriage with AH and two young children, I am just done, done, done. Now the jerk has cheated on me and is still lying through his teeth trying to cover it up. I have good proof this time--I feel like I have to, otherwise he will just lie and manipulate as m...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Just Ranting (Preview) So today is my Birthday:) My S/O is working. I know he has breaks inbetween, he hasn't bothered to text me. That is ok :) It would be nice, but not necessary. This am he got up and went right for his phone to check his Facebook. I started to hang up the laundry. He is like what? You aren't going to talk to me? Hon...	InspiredPhotography	3	259	Aug 27, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Need new ways of coping when alcoholic husband comes back (Preview) Hello, I am new here and this is my first posting. My husband is a binge drinker and because of the trouble he has caused in the past with family and jobs, etc. he cannot live with the guilt. He can go for months without a drink, but I might say one wrong thing about the past and he is off on a binge again. I ha...	diane99	7	404	Aug 26, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	What Books Do you Recommend? (Preview) I am not sure what books to start with? My S/O isn't actively drinking, or using. He just has severe depression & some of the behaviours I have read (sounds like he exhibits an addict traits). Does that make sense? So the book Getting Them Sober ~ would I benefit from it? Can I order it online, or woul...	InspiredPhotography	4	474	Aug 26, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Online Meetings (Preview) I have seen Online Meetings (email). Can someone explain what it is? What is it for?	InspiredPhotography	4	269	Aug 26, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	I am in the very begining of being willing to be honest that my fiance is an alcoholic, I really need help! (Preview) Well next month will be 1 yr Kevin and I have been together. We truely feel like soul mates, the one thing I can trust is that we are really in love. In the begining of our relationship one of his best friends (Matt) from high school drove me 300 miles to visit Kevin. What happened was very distrubing and le...	ilovkevin	2	569	Aug 26, 2012 by Kate123
	jealousy towards alcohol. (Preview) Today I feel kind of helpless. My family left afetr 3 weeks visit, and several discussions and adressing problems related to alcohol, for which I'm glad, even though a realize it has been toug hon my parents. I sometimes feel guilty for being the only one speaking up in this family, all the other member...	tortuga	5	634	Aug 26, 2012 by Jerry F
	In need of help (Preview) Hi, Let me make a short introduction here. I'am a young woman who lives togehter with her boyfriend. I am also the daughter of 2 alcohol adicts. Both my parents are alcholics and are really doing bad. (i will not bore you with my difficult history and how they started drinking) Both my parents are i real...	guiltytwin	5	490	Aug 26, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Is there any real help out there for this disease? (Preview) I understand that alcoholism is a disease. I don't understand why in the year 2012 we are relying primarily on a program thought up a century ago. I can see the positive aspects of AA and Alanon, but most of those can be learned through other therapy. The slogans and prayer just remind me of faith healing...	erleichda	22	654	Aug 26, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Am I getting close? (Preview) I'm a newbie and have a lot to learn, but I think I may be picking up on some things, thanks to all y'all: 1. I need to concentrate on myself and not on him, 2. Who my AXH dates and what he does is none of my business and he's probably not as happy as I imagine him to be, 3. My life is worth living without him, 4....	suebama	10	562	Aug 26, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Medications and alcohol (Preview) Hi again, Since things are getting worse with my (our) dad, he has been using pretty heavy medications. He is using Diazepam and Zaldiar ( a medication with tramadol included). Now both mecdications recommend not using any alchol what so ever. I have tried telling my mom about the use of alchol, beca...	Theemettaart	3	430	Aug 26, 2012 by rehprof
	Classic Co-Dependent Move (Preview) Went to a Co-dependents meeting last night and it was a little fun. They are lighter and focus on detachment from our own obsessive thoughts and worrying and needy people, which is a good thing. I was reading the book and the whole time I keep thinking (Oh this would work for so and so) lol. Classic examp...	JJ21	3	398	Aug 26, 2012 by Tigger
	"Words of the Dali Lama" (Preview) "Love is the absence of Judgment". "The best relationship is one in which your love for eachother exceeds your need for each other."	Bettina	6	635	Aug 25, 2012 by hotrod
	TRADITION 9 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/p/reply/?topicID=50545019	hotrod	0	273	Aug 25, 2012 by hotrod
	Alanon/AA Meeting (Preview) Went to an Alanon meeting tonight at a center where they also hold AA meetings. I'm in a large city so the meeting are large as well. I found it interesting that the men for the AA meetings were hanging out in front and flirting with all the women going into the Alanon meeting. My, thought was like don't...	JJ21	6	474	Aug 25, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Starting arguments out of the blue??? (Preview) Is it me or am I just being tried on or tested by the A? I wake up, i'm happy, because I'm being me. I chat with the A, and in 2 seconds out of the blue, he manges to have turned the conversation on about alcohol, his desire to drink and a final sentence 'you don't respect my feelings, you try to make me sad, you wa...	tortuga	9	696	Aug 25, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Confused and Lost (Preview) This is my first time here, so please bare with me. My common law husband is addicted to pain killers for a little more than 3 yrs now. Finally he went to rehab, a 21 day program at an amazing house.He came out positive and seemed to have a new lease on life. He's been home a week and as been acting like he has be...	LMar	5	449	Aug 25, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	so addicted (Preview) I am ending a relationship I have had for about 5 months. I am so addicted to this guy. I recognise this about me. I have actually been super aware of MY character defects through out. But it hasn't made it any easier. At all. He isnt an alcoholic but he def has issues and isms. And here's why i am so addicted....	freeagain	4	438	Aug 25, 2012 by freeagain
	Appreciation! (Preview) Hi All, I haven't been posting much for quite a while, but I have been reading often. I just wanted to say THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart to the WONDERFUL people on this board. I can't even tell you how much I have learned here and how much you have helped me. It's amazing. We may never know each other'...	Doozy	3	337	Aug 25, 2012 by Jerry F
	Update; New life and trying not to get involved with the exAH and his drama (Preview) So I started school for my RN last week and can see I will have to put all my extra energy into my school work to keep my GPA up to keep my financial aid. The boyfriend and I are doing great and are having many adventures and I finally feel like I am living and out of my head more than ever. My exAH has been strug...	Breakingfree	5	336	Aug 25, 2012 by Debilyn
	Getting through (Preview) ..the next few days is going to be tough. My A is finally leaving, moving back with family. Of course my emotions are all over the place. But right now I'm just trying to get through the next few days. I've tried to get him to start packing, he shows no interest, says he doesn't need anything. For awhile he h...	pineapple	4	297	Aug 25, 2012 by Debilyn
	The Physical Costs of the Disease (Preview) In a weird way, time has proven me to be right about my ex-A. I have always felt judged by his family...as if I was making up the degree to which his behavior was a problem...and his sisters still insist that he is doing okay when they talk to me. Then there is reality. He talked to me briefly the other day abo...	rehprof	4	403	Aug 25, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	my recovery. (Preview) Hi all, i shared how my ex abf has not had a drink for over a weak and I let him stay here while sorts himself out. Thanks for your ESH on this lots of objectivity and clarity. I have helped so much over the years and now I have had my own pace for about six months I have gain serenity and grown alot. I had a talk wi...	Tracy	0	330	Aug 24, 2012 by Tracy
	Mental Health Awareness Week (Preview) Depression, anxiety and panic attacks are not a sign of weakness. They are signs of having to remain strong for too long. Did you know 1 in 3 of us go through this at some point in our lives? Would you post this on your wall for at least one day? Most people won't but it's Mental Health Awareness Week. S...	Peggy7	2	329	Aug 24, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	This is me (Preview) Hi there, My (twin) sister (quiltytwin) told me about this messageboard, so thanks to my sister! Well as she has written, both our parents are severe alcholics. They are now to that point that they are in a really bad situation. They are (in my opinion) at point of no- return. Well to make a long story sh...	Theemettaart	1	272	Aug 24, 2012 by All I can be
	Should I read the BB? (Preview) My wife has started going to AA a few weeks ago. The holy spirit compelled her to go. She will hit 30 days sober soon. She has a sponsor and will begin Step 1 soon. She, at times, wants to discuss some of the themes that she is going through. I offered my own 2 cents and every time she says I don't understan...	Canyondude	4	469	Aug 24, 2012 by Canyondude
	Well I am trying it here (Preview) I had went to a "real life" Al-Anon meeting, and it just wasn't for me. I can't get through a whole meeting without being at the point of tears and people that know me know I am too proud to cry, or at least I try to be numb so I don't cry; it's the only way I really know how to cope. So the internet feel...	cky73	10	564	Aug 24, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	At what point can you say someone is an alcaholic (Preview) I need to get myself to a face to face meeting. But first I think in my head I need to know at what point or what determines that someone is an alcaholic? Which is probably why I haven't been to a meeting yet. Do I belong there? Am I making a big deal out of nothing? My husband drinks every day. Even more so n...	Rosie77	7	693	Aug 24, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Newbie: How do I handle the arrogance of the dry Alcoholic..?? (Preview) Think I need advise on how to handle the arrogance of the dry alcoholic who doesnt attend meetings anymore... ? Im not sure why my husband doesnt attend meetings anymore. Im not even sure if my husband ever had a sponsor like he said he did..? wouldnt the sponsor being contacting him after missing m...	angiedd	11	3024	Aug 24, 2012 by pinkchip
	Help. Financial worries. Not passed PhD 1st year and really worried. (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm a grateful member of al-anon. The A in my life is my partner, she's a 'secret' bedroom drinker. Her mum was an A too (sober now, but health is quite damaged). I'm having a pretty stressful time of things really. I started a PhD last year but have just found out that I've not passed the 1st ye...	jitsuka	5	551	Aug 24, 2012 by jitsuka
	Why the anger from the ExA (Preview) To sum it up quickly. Married 9 years, I left over sneak drinking, he tried to get me back still drinking said no. A year later we both started seeing each other again long distance 5hrs apart so it was weekends. He was thrilled, bought me a new ring and we were working it out or so I thought. He had been l...	JJ21	7	618	Aug 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	standing on a slippery slope.. but standing..i think (Preview) i am very new to this whole process. i have not joined al-anon..am a little apprehensive..can you give me a debriefing on the initial process..who its for, what u do, what is required(timewise, moneywise)??? i completely picked myself and my 2 children up ..moved 300 miles away from my codependant r...	sonikk	4	334	Aug 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	concerned (Preview) my sis,with the 2 little girls,has robbed me also,i trusted her around my purse with my meds in it that are considered narcotic now that i have to have for my arthritis and joint pain,she took 15 of them from my bottle,just finding this out cause its not the 1st time she has stolen pills from me,i just thou...	silent	2	302	Aug 23, 2012 by orchidlover
	need help here. (Preview) ive closed the doors agin toward my sister for how can i find forgiveness in my heart for what she done to her 13 y/o daughter ,my neice out on the feild the otherday ,theres no justifying takeing a 13y/o by the ear and twisting it till the lttle girl hollered out ouch and then hollering out for her 13 y/o to g...	silent	5	450	Aug 23, 2012 by orchidlover
	so tired of feeling sad (Preview) ive been wakeing up past 2 mornings at 3am crying my eyeballs out,missing my daughter and grandbabies,only daughter and grandbabies i have,and i dont ever think ill ever get to share or be with them agin,they been liveing over seas for the last 7 yrs my sil joined airforce back 7 yrs ago,and that was tha...	silent	6	514	Aug 23, 2012 by Gailey
	Here I go again (Preview) Hi everyone my ah just called to tell me he is stopping in the bar on the way home from work and hell be home by 8.i do appreciate the call because usually hell just not answer the phone so that is progress but I still feel very nervous is he going to drink alot tonight? What if he meets someone (my own issue bec...	Pipper	5	393	Aug 23, 2012 by Pipper
	What happened to rock bottom? (Preview) Hello, It's been a while since I have made a post. I have alot of frustration pent up that I need to get off my chest. So here I go... My ABF finally got fired from his job. My 2 year old was sick and so I stayed home with her from work. He decided not to go in either. Convenient excuse for him to get out of work sayi...	LeahC	3	492	Aug 23, 2012 by Breakingfree
	What to do? (Preview) Hi everybody, I just joined this forum 30 seconds ago because i need advice... My mom is an alcoholic and dropped off the deep end about a year ago. Since then I have desperately tried to save her and done everything in my power to no avail. I went to an al anon meeting last night and it opened my eyes to the fa...	shaune90	4	469	Aug 23, 2012 by shaune90
	Please suggest some reading material for me. (Preview) Here's my situation: I don't live with my A, we're recently divorced. And he's sober, has been for 25 years. He shouldn't still be influencing my life and apparently has moved on with a new gf. So, I "should" be fine, I wanted out of the marriage bc he is a dry drunk and drove me into anxiety...	suebama	9	4454	Aug 23, 2012 by pinkchip
	need to get this out (Preview) Mt ex bf has been on a big slip for about 6 months h has not hasd a drink for a week and has asked if he can stay here for couple of days while gets accommodation and back to AA. I have supported him in the past but this time is differnt. I know he has nothing to give me , I understand that we can not b together I am no...	Tracy	4	540	Aug 23, 2012 by Tracy
	Being cut off at a meeting (Preview) Tonight was my 5th al-anon meeting and i am feeling upset on how it was handled. The first 4 meetings left me feeling hopeful. I thought i had found my tribe! I had hit the bottom of depression and was isolating-even the people I loved most. Tonight's reading included a passage on despair. When it was my...	Artpulse	18	746	Aug 23, 2012 by Artpulse
	Please help am I doing the right thing? (Preview) My bf is a binge drinker and has been living w/me for 6 months. We have gone thru the cycle a few times of him drinking for days on end. I quit drinking 45 days ago and his drinking is a threat to my sobriety. I thought we would do this together but obviously this is not the case. Well I finally threw him out...	jerseygirl	5	614	Aug 23, 2012 by sonikk
	Taking care of me (Preview) Last night my AH was excited by the preseason game. His comment, last year I didn't get excited about football because we were fighting all the time... I bit my tongue. Even if he hadn't been drinking I would have bit my tongue. WE were not fighting, you were acting like a huge gigantic jerk, ALL THE FLIP...	Jackie11	3	300	Aug 23, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	talking to my a on ph. (Preview) we talk everyday onthe phone,at nite he calls me while he is drinking ,this is when i thank my lucky stars that i dont have to be around that anymore his drinking, missing him is just part of it,i know this will also pass,i know i can get through this,its just soo sad that as good and skilled a man he is that he...	silent	6	512	Aug 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	Found The Bottles But Why Am I So Bothered? (Preview) Could use some advice today. I know my AH hasn't been sober, he says he is - says he doesn't feel the need to drink, but I know he has been drinking. For some reason this morning I decided to look through the trash, and there they were, two empty vodka bottles. I know he was home yesterday while I was working a...	TrudyS85	10	646	Aug 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	Manipulative sober and drunk (Preview) Sometimes I feel like my alcaholic husband doesn't want to talk to me when his sober. His snappy, unresponsive and miserable. I spend my time feeling like have done something wrong. I have started to get my life back together by doing things that I enjoy for a while we were simply only going to the pub o...	Rosie77	7	689	Aug 22, 2012 by ilovkevin
	Great video on "playing the victim" (Preview) I don't know if anyone here does EFT or knows anything about Brad Yates. I love listening to his videos - I don't always tap along. This one is great on "Playing the victim" He even says the Serenity Prayer. For me it was very powerful and I felt it was along the lines of Alanon. So I wanted t...	willowtree	2	334	Aug 22, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	sister acting crazy (Preview) my sister,only sister that i have here in this town is acting crazy i dont know what to do,she takes suboxin,which is a medicine to keep u off opiates and she was in a really bad car wreck over a year ago that broke her neck which she had major surgery,i went to with her to watch her beautiful baby girl cheer a...	silent	1	478	Aug 22, 2012 by Mattie
	New, but want to work this out (Preview) Hello, just joined here tonite... I was trying to read over some of the posts, and get a feel for the board. I read some from people that are broken up w/their prospective A. Am I crazy to want to work this out? We've been married 5 yrs... 2nd marriages for both of us. Is it possible, or am I just kidding m...	isitmytime514	8	898	Aug 22, 2012 by JJ21
	What to do (Preview) I am a sister of a 51 year old alcoholic who just moved in with me 2 months ago she previously had 13 years sobriety and lost her job and moved across country to live with me. To help me take care of my terminal I'll mother who is also living with me. She has been relapsing for past 5 weeks and she will go to a aa m...	Micmin	6	484	Aug 22, 2012 by Micmin
	Someone PLEASE remind me... (Preview) Someone please remind me to NEVER get my hopes up again. Last Wednesday, my husband told me he wanted to dry out. I didn't want to, but I did get my hopes up, I even posted about it on here... We have gone through the detox and he has told me that he knows his drinking is driving us apart. Today he was being re...	almostgivenup	12	685	Aug 22, 2012 by almostgivenup
	Wow! I feel great (Preview) So, today AH forwarded an email to me regarding his sales incentive trip to Costa Rica. I needed to get back to him ASAP and let him know if I planned on going. His words to me were, "Let me know what you think of this." Apparently, he was supposed to respond a week ago for the cut off but neglec...	ilovedogs	4	536	Aug 22, 2012 by canadianguy
	He has moved out. (Preview) And he has taken lots of his "thingss" and has gone to live in his new apartment. I feel so delightfully giddy - most of the time. I can do what I wish when I wish to do it. No arguing, no crying, no nonsense, not pandering to a drunk. It is a huge relief. Finally, after all the years of vascill...	Diva	6	463	Aug 21, 2012 by orchidlover
	Thankful (Preview) I just wanted to express my gratitude for alanon's everywhere who have helped me through many difficult times dealing with alcoholism and how I react to it and deal with a spouse who is an A. My wifes journey has had many twists, but after several relapses, 6 months, then 9 months, she has officially hi...	ntxalanon	7	351	Aug 21, 2012 by jitsuka
	Is this normal? (Preview) A friend of mine thinks I'm depressed and says I should take anti-depressants. I'm not asking anyone for advice, I know this is an outside issue, but I would like to know if my hysteria is normal or a little overboard. I'm afraid that pills will just prolong the inevitable. First of all, I have breast c...	suebama	10	565	Aug 21, 2012 by milkwood
	returning calm through growing awareness (Preview) After weeks of fear, distress, frustration and anxiety emotions and several of related posts, today I feel like sharing a positive emotion: returning calm through growing awareness! Reality has not become 'ideal', but there is movement, improvement...at least on my side. Because I have found MI...	tortuga	4	324	Aug 21, 2012 by canadianguy
	hopeless on my fiance alcoholic/addict...desperatly need help (Preview) i really dont know where to begin, i have been w/my now fiance for a little over a year. since ive moved in with him ive seen very awful drinking episodes to the point where he blacks out is angry and mean and destorys the house due to vomiting and w/e have you... aside from that since hes been prescibed pres...	meowdub3	4	511	Aug 21, 2012 by canadianguy
	Cautiously optimistic (Preview) My husband told me yesterday that he wants to "dry out". He has done this before on his own. From what I have read and learned through my research it is very rare that an alcoholic can quit and never go back to the booze without some form of counseling. However, he will not go at this time. So...	almostgivenup	7	512	Aug 21, 2012 by peacewithin
	Worried About My Safety (Preview) Today, started out with the AH leaving me a message that he was at work so I was welcome to come hang out at the house for a while. I called back to tell him thanks for being so kind as to invite me to my own home and he started in with the victim attitude again. How it was my choice to leave and he has asked me ove...	WornOutMrsFixIt	4	525	Aug 21, 2012 by Mattie
	My husband is about to come home from rehab...I'm worried! (Preview) Where to start? My husband finally decided to go thru a 35 day rehab. After 3 solid years of drinking and trying to stop....he was what you call a functional drunk. He worked and never made it into work late or didnt call in sick (at first). He started with beer every night after work...then graduated to...	regp	7	5472	Aug 21, 2012 by regp
	Cheating #$%^&*! (Preview) After all these years of dealing with a challenging marriage with AH and two young children, I am just done, done, done. Now the jerk has cheated on me and is still lying through his teeth trying to cover it up. I have good proof this time--I feel like I have to, otherwise he will just lie and manipulate as m...	Minaret	10	727	Aug 21, 2012 by Sandi49Austin
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.