The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Glad that you are attending alanon and have reached out here. As you no doubt know, alcoholism is a progressive disease for which there is no cure. It can be arrested, as you have seen, but not cured. Once an alcoholic begins to drink again he is right back to where he was when he stopped and the decline is more rapid. This you have seen for yourself.
I understand how frightening this relapse can be. It is good that he is in a mandated treatment program and I am glad found us.
Living one day at a time and Keeping the focus on yourself is critical at this time. I know when I experienced the devastation of a serious relapse I had to increase my face to face meetings, talk more frequently with my sponsor and rework the Steps.
Keep coming back
-- Edited by hotrod on Friday 17th of August 2012 06:02:42 PM
Hi everyone I just decided to join the boards sometime it's hard to get to meetings.my husband of 28 years had 19 years sobriety when he slipped it has been a fast decline I've been in alanon for 1 year and just trying to get my head together I'm having such a hard time of detaching. My fear just keeps my mind obsessing about the future. He did get a DUI and has to go to a 90 day outpatient program next week. He tells me his thoughts are all over the place somedays he's aware of the problem others he tells me I need to accept things as they are. He has made new friends in a bar near work and they are all that lol.sorry for going on but any advice on this behavior is this normal alcoholic behavior or maybe a midlife crisis on top of the drinking
I would say the DUI is the tip off and that he is in denial, his drinking in the past, it all adds up to alcoholic relapse.
Best thing you could do is to go to as many Alanon meetings as possible and connect with a sponsor. You may be in for a ride or you might not. I wouldnt react too much, if you want to react do it at your meeting or come and vent here with a post .
Important thing is that you really gain somemore insight into the disease of alcoholism, it can rear its ugly head at any point. The disease never goes away and the only thing that makes it go into remission is abstinence.
Aloha Pipper...welcome to the board. He's fortunate. I had a fellow in my old home area with 19 years that went back out and was dead in several days. You never go back to the first drink...you go back to where you stopped. Alcoholism is a progressive disease hat runs even when the alcoholic is not drinking. It counts the drinks that are not taken and when the alcoholic goes back out it attempts to do catch up...just like smoking and other addictions. A year in Al-Anon is precious and your post sounds like you didn't completely get blown away by it. Still you are affected by it as anyone would be and you've done the good thing...hang with the people of recovery. MIP is a magical tool in my recovery and on a daily basis I come and read...why? Because I'm still powerless over alcoholism and if I ever forget that then the unmanagability begins to get my attention. I'm always on alert for relapse signs...always. Alcoholism is not only a progressive disease it is also a fatal disease...I know of no other disease at powerful as ours...so I stay awake. I have friends who have or are relapsing and I stay the student and listen and learn. Get more active in your own recovery. Take from it and give to it. If he has rebuilt his drinking society and re-established old behaviors for bars you already know the outcome...you have the experiences from the past and they are still valid. Now they are supportive to your recovery.
I just wanted to thank everyone for being there just got home from a meeting so this was another pick me up . I have to keep the focus on myself I'm so glad I found this program I wish I had it years ago .
Hi Pipper. Just wanted to chime in. My AH was sober for 15 years and threw it all away 2 years ago when he started drinking again. He got a DUI in February, I thought it would be his bottom, he told me he was done with drinking and that it had done him wrong, etc. Well, he's still drinking. He had to attend all kinds of classes, go to jail, and lost his license for 30 days hard suspension and 60 days with restricted driving. He didn't obey ANY of the penalties/restrictions placed upon him and continues to violate his driving restrictions as he is now on ignition interlock device restriction for 18 months. He rents cars and drinks when he travels....BIG NO NO! He's playing with fire and Al Anon is the only thing that's keeping me sane. I have pretty much detached from him emotionally, he's become a selfish monster since the drinking started getting out of hand. I am in a constant flux of: should I stay or should I go? We have a 13 year old and he's so confused.
Going to Al Anon was the best thing I ever did for ME but I still struggle with MY issues and control and enabling, etc. Keep coming back. You'll get tons of support here, too!
