The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i finally told him he had to move out in a nice tone of voice,he didnt want to go but excepted it and packed his things nicely ,he wants us to still be boyfreind and girlfreind,i said o.k.,we would still talk and go out.soooo i got what i wanted (my space back),along with my peace of mind and serenity back,i do miss him a good bit but i know that missing him is part of it,and will get better,he put gas in my car and bought me a pack of cigs,and gave me money,at this point i dunno whats gonna happen next,he asked me if he could leave some of his things here just till he got himself in a partment he will be staying with his a freind for a few weeks, i said that would be just fine we had a good day together as we parted on good terms for the 1st time in yrs, now to keep myself from ever getting in such a sit. agin,is gonna be hard to do for me,ill be posting here more so i figure as my journy begins,taken baby steps,one day at a time,,,,esh esh plz.thanks to all my lovely great freinds i have here on this message board ,for you all are all i have! thank you for your support ,,,,hugs and more hugs silent.
I am glad that this worked out as well as it did. Alanon tools work I heard you say that you: "Said what you meant, Meant what you said, and did not say it mean!!! The best part of that is your boyfriend heard you and complied. Positive outcome all around.
It is important to continue to take care of yourself . Meetings, posting here, reading alanon literature, serenity prayer, making gratitude lists , living one day at a time, trusting Higher Power all help to keep the focus on yourself
I know you feel good about yourself after doing what you know needed to be done, each time you will get stronger. Your HP , God for me , is always there to help you. I'm learning how to have a peaceful and serene life, and We desere it.
Gettingitright!
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Just go a step at a time, one day at a time. And you'll find a rich, thankful life you never thought you could afford.--A Rogers
one thing i prolly shouldnt have done is tell him that when we decide to get married then we can be back together in one place.may have been the wrong thing to say cause i was lieing to him eventhough i love him as much as i do i could never marry a alcohloic,drug addict.but i did tellhim that lie,dunno why i said that but did ,oh well and life goes on aye.hugs silent
I know why I did it and then you have to inventory what and why you did it. It's your recovery. Until I got a good inventory on it I wouldn't know how to correct the behavior. I lied out of fear of and fear from and in listening to the ever lasting ESH from the fellowship I came to understand that the majority of them lied for the same reason and so does the alcoholic/addict. I lie because I'm afraid of ....well just afraid and fear turned out to be the greatest emotional character defect I had then. Catching myself in a lie became and still is an amends event...so suggestion...want experience making amends to others (except when to do so would injure them or others) inventory the lie good and then amend your behavior using it as soon as you can. Lots of enablers lie to protect the feelings of the person they are lying to and to protect themselves from possible negative fallout and ego and pride bruising. Some times I lied because I should have already stopped talking and was just insecure. Go figure...really; cause its important to your recovery and growth and service.
Thanks for bringing the honesty of it here. (((((hugs)))))
I heard you say that you: "Said what you meant, Meant what you said, and did not say it mean!!! The best part of that is your boyfriend heard you and complied. Positive outcome all around.