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i really dont know where to begin, i have been w/my now fiance for a little over a year. since ive moved in with him ive seen very awful drinking episodes to the point where he blacks out is angry and mean and destorys the house due to vomiting and w/e have you... aside from that since hes been prescibed prescription pain killers hes become addicted to those as well, which he abuses taking way more then the reccomended dosage. when he runs out, he goes through withdrawals, then grabs the liqour bottles. he has been in detox twice for this, and had just recently gotten out due to a very bad break down after his fathers death and he seemed pretty passionate to go back to AA and kick the prescription habit. Low and behold i found out he had gulped down 12 pills the first day he got them back ... i honestly dont know what to do anymore.. ive tried everything.. he wants me to support his sobriety and says "hes not drinking" and that "hes xxxxxxed up and feels sorry" ... but its just words.. no actions..... what do i do?
-- Edited by hotrod on Tuesday 21st of August 2012 01:32:52 AM
My husband started as an alcoholic, moved on to prescription pill addiction and is now a full blown Chrystal meth addict. Has gotten a DUI for alcohol and use/ under the influence of a controlled substance ( meth). Was found wandering in a cornfield and spent 7 days in a mental hospital for amphetamine induced psychosis. His parents have tried taking him to rehab at least 5 times. He always walks out.
So I guess what I'm saying us, it always gets worse. How do you want to live? Could you live with things the way they are if you knew they were never going to change? The addict keeps getting worse unless they submit to help, and they need a LOT of help! I had to leave. And I'm soo much better without him! I used to think I couldn't make it without a husband supporting me, but I'm doing it! Taking care of my kids, going to school full time and the help has come from many different sources. Support from my alanon friends, parents and the state ( welfare). There is always a way! I started to see a way out when I started to pray only for my HP's will. And asked for guidance. Sending support~ greenergrass
Hi,
Ive been married for 6 years and my Husbands drinking over that time has taken over my life! Everything we do revolves around alcahol. It has taken me up until now to realise that he has slowly got worse. I was living a life of an alcaholic without the alcahol. I refused to drink as much and I was also the one that drove home from the pub. Not under the influence though! I'm not that stupid!
I wished that I had seen the signs earlier before we got married. Divorce is expensive! And my marriage is probably heading that way. It's not too late and you would not be a failure if you decided to walk away. However only you can decide what you feel and want to do. Maybe have a break and see if he stays sober with proof before you make a lifetime commitment. My husband always finds comfort in alcahol never in me. Make sure you don't have a marriage like that
I think my husband drinks while at work and I know he has lied to me about how much he drinks. I have had enough of his lies
What I'm saying is. Addicts lie to get what they want. No matter who they hurt in the process. He knows I hate his drinking and have pulled him up on drinking at work. He said he has to test the beer his been brewing! Well he doesn't brew everyday and he comes home and I can smell it on his breath. He doesn't kiss me hello whe he comes home anymore! And he always makes sure he has a cigarette before he comes into the house! I can still smell it through the nicotine smell. I just get annoyed that he thinks I'm that stupid!
One day I will make the right decision for me and I get the feeling he won't like it. Don't let alcahol ruin your life because it's ruined mine.
Good luck
X
Aloha Meow...what I did and what worked for me after I was led to Al-Anon was...Allow yourself to be led to Al-Anon in your area (hotline number is in the white pages of your local telephone book) and if it is possible...continue to go to 90 meetings in 90 days and then decide if you haven't found the help you really need. Nothing helped me so much than to sit with the wives and other family members of alcoholics and addicts...nothing. They had the solutions and I grabbed the solutions.
Keep coming back here also. If you can't get to 90X90 get to as many as you can over the next 90 days.
One of my favorite authors - has an outstanding line that I quote quite often - "Nobody has the right to tell you to leave your A, not even your therapist".....
I concur with (wise old) Jerry.... Al-Anon, and choosing recovery for yourself, is the way to go, and as you get healthy, the right answers for you - whatever they may be - will become more clear.
Take care, and keep coming back
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
