Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

stephaniej · stephaniej

I have been a grateful member here for over 2 years. In the past 18 months, during which my AH's drinking has escalated steadily, I have slowly worked toward detaching from his behavior. I have been feeling more and more like I am ready to leave him. One of the reasons I have been able to detach is that h...

Debilyn · Debilyn

We met here at MIP, over ten years ago. He and I kept in communication over ten years, we were very close friends. Reminded each other of our Al Anon skills dealing with my now ex AH, and his soon to be ex AW. Kids are grown now and gone, he is done. Very sadly he has found the evidense of the drug use. We had seen...

1976love · 1976love

Since my AH has been going to AA and has been sober for 4weeks now, he is starting to do more around the house and thinks everyone else should too. Today he flipped his lid when he was trying to move a chair from the basement to the upstairs. While he was in the basement my younger son was down there playing...

Pushka · Pushka

You know you would think I would get that lesson and seriously it still boggles my mind. There are some freaky things going on at the moment. I have court tomorrow and I am asking for prayers. I feel like the best thing that could happen is (I know wait for it .. LOL) it would actually be delayed. I can't...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

I've been to 5 or 6 meetings over the last few months, and just recently made the commitment to come at least once a week. I came to my first meeting in complete desperation, having just had another blow out argument with my husband, an active alcoholic / addict. The cycle was the same, he would be drunk wh...

bryteyes · bryteyes

Been with my verbally abusive AB for 2 years and although his drinking has slowed down extremely im still terrified of what could happen and find myself scared every time he walks out the door which is a lot because we have no transportation and he walks everywhere. Ive been diagnosed with PTSD just fro...

willowtree · willowtree

Has anyone heard about the law of attraction? I am getting stuck with how I can use it with alanon as well. My conflict is coming in because I feel like a lot of the LOA teachers speak as if we have all of this power with in us - but alanon teaches us we are powerless over others. I feel so conflicted because...

savvygirl · savvygirl

Hey everyone, I was linked to this site by a friend and I honestly have no idea if I'm posting in the right place or not. I've never looked into Al-Anon or anything of the sort because I've never felt the need to before. The alcoholic is my godfather, so he's not blood related but he was there during child...

robin1212 · robin1212

Hi, I've been through a lot with my AW and reading some of the posts on this site I have come to realise there is some hope for myself. I'm sitting in a hotel room now after another incident with AW and I feel that a great weight has been lifted of my shoulders. I've known my AW for just over 20 years and at the st...

bryteyes · bryteyes

My boyfriends dad died 16 years ago that he has issues with. My boyfriend has been doing good with his drinking but days like this not so much. This morning he started out positive so I hope it stays that way. He took extra money tho and has to walk passed all the liquor stores. Is there any key words that wou...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

We had court today for my 14 year old to get a permanent restraining order on a boy from her school that has been stalking her and had a few scary incidents. The judge approved the protective order and for the next 4 years if he shows up around here or harasses her in any way we can have him arrested. They stil...

texas yankee · texas yankee

I attend very helpful meetings with a mixed group of folks dealing with pretty typical AlAnon issues - some have spouse issues, some have "growing up in al alcoholic family" issues, some are parents with kid \ adult children issues - some of the folks in our AlAnon group want to have addit...

LiliesForPeace · LiliesForPeace

Hello all, I'm hoping I can gain some insight through this community. I have yet to attend a face-to-face AlAnon meeting, but will definitely be looking into meetings. I have never posted on this sort of site and am feeling rather embarrased to share my long story. I had been with my boyfriend for si...

Lammy · Lammy

Hi Al-Anon, I am living with a boyfriend that has had alcohol problems in the past, but that is "no longer an issue". I can't handle a relationship with an alcohol problem, and he occasionally acts odd, which makes me think he has been drinking something and hiding it, or maybe taking some...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Had a good weekend. I've decided to back off a little from my son. I'm getting envolved again and I don't want myself back into the crazyness...although there hasn't been any lately. We did have a nice Friday night going out to dinner and going to one of his meetings. He was listening so I hope he will c...

imom · imom

We are very near the end of our family unit as we know it. My AH has hit bottom...at least I hope it cannot get lower than this. He despises me right now because I am divorcing him and I called 911 on him and he keeps saying I am feeding lies about him to our children and everyone else. My kids want him out of the h...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I have had my sponsor since July. I am working slowly through the steps and I try to contact her weekly. She works full time and has 2 other sponsees along with her own program to work and I know she's quite busy. I texted her on Christmas to wish her a good holiday and then again on New Year's to do the same...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, So, I am at my father's getting some laundry done. I come here to do it because he has the machine available and it gives me time to spend with him. I came over and he was passed out. He woke up and we began to chat. He went up to take a shower then came down more drunk than he was when he woke up. I can a...

imom · imom

I am very lonely tonight but really need to stop this pity party inside my head. Seeing happy families tonight has really hit me hard. I know in my sane mind that I am making the right decision to get off this crazy train, but I still have very sad moments where I wonder if it could ever go back to being good. I...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

...may not show for some time. Whenever we are in doubt - don't. Wait for His say-so. Most people in recovery (including myself when I'm prideful & angry) will say to not tolerate being controlled etc. But my greatest teacher taught me to break DOWN my pride and tolerate. I'm at Mom & Dad's hous...

Aat · Aat

20 years this April. Can't even remember when life was 'normal'. Six years into our relationship, we adopted our son. That was what 'should come next' right? All downhill from there. I thought it was all about being new parents, but 4 years later the truth showed itself. By that time, I'd been out of the...

Ojwoman · Ojwoman

My son is married to an alcoholic who has recently been placed on two 72 hour hold in the last two weeks for suicidal ideation and depressions issues. In between her last two in patient stays, she was home with my son and their 4 month old daughter. During this time she swore she was taking Antabuse. Long s...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Hello, yes it is me, Sarah, aka Tiger2006. I wanted to let y'all know, so y'all weren't like "OMG, did her account get hacked?" My AA sponsor told me to come back to al anon, so, I decided to take her suggestions....4 weeks after she made it. Anyway, I wanted to let you know it really is me here,...

teetree · teetree

I'm a total newbie and have not yet been to an alanon meeting so I thought I'd start sharing my story here. My husband is an alcoholic/drug addict/compulsive gambler (lottery). Initially he just drank but then when that became problematic and I made an issue of it he "quit" but actually beg...

Nicoledilo · Nicoledilo

I met this guy Michael only 3 weeks ago..but instantly I felt I needed to help him. When I met him all my friends told me he has done drugs and drinks a lot and a part of me didn't care and I talked to him anyway..most people would think I'm dumb for being drawn to that kind of person, but 2 years ago my father pas...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

My A/A daughter just called to ask me to pick her up and give her a ride home, she said she was at herald college, an appt. to get GED or some training, and it took longer than she expected. She was very nice about it, I told her no, I had not been out of the house today, and didn't feel like it. Mind you I've tol...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everyone: It's been a while as I feel I have been embroiled in this sickness bigtime, especially the last 2 yrs of my 21 yr marriage. Where we are now: I thought I was practicing detachment and confused this with complete apathy...I was giving nothing to our marriage at all but deciding I had had en...

midas · midas

Hi folks, I married a man who'd been sober over 3 yrs. I only ever knew him as straight, sober & stable. We eloped in the spring but waited until October for a real wedding party. Little did I know that he drank one week before the wedding- a night I went for dinner with girlfriends- a night that he had hi...

abbyalana · abbyalana

I had been with my (now ex) AH for 23 years; since age 14 and physically separated for 6 months/divorced for 2. Over the years, he's been abusive, alcoholic, addicted to drugs...you name it - even attempting suicide and being arrested for domestic violence and taking anger management classes. I st...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

Even though The whole Christmas phone tag thing was bothering me, I decided to call my Dad, and I'm glad I did. I do love my Dad but this whole thing every year is aggravating. But not enough to keep me from calling him. It was a nice conversation and I'll work a bit harder at staying in touch. Maybe one day we...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi all I don't know what's been happening but from just before Christmas until now my son has not drank. Didn't have him for Christmas but he did come over for New Years and we had a great time cooking ( he loves to cook) and watching movies. It's so nice when he is not drinking. He seems to have his head t...

oldergal · oldergal

Just like to say a big THANK YOU, to all the great sponsors out there. The ones who go out of their way to help, when its not convenient for them or their families, the ones online too who are in the wings ready to give some ESH, thanks for all you do....Oldergal

Abtmc · Abtmc

My husband decided to go to a basketball game after work tonight. He swore his drinking will be "under control" (he'll stick to 1 beer per hour) since he already has 2 DUIs and doesn't want to risk another. Am I the only one who thinks this is a joke/ridiculous/total denial??? And yet here I am...

cinders · cinders

I have been on a roller coaster yet wonderful at times emotional journey. I am a researcher. I read what ever I can get my hands on and become, at times, too obsessive with trying to gather as much information as possible. So, in my quest to try and understand, heal from and deal with my broken heart fro...

ItsMe · ItsMe

Hi, I am new to this world and am looking for support from people who have been there. My husband, whom I love very much has had substance abuse issues since we meet. I stupidly thought it was all fun of our youth, I grew up, but he still acts recklessly even though we have two children and a mortgage, high le...

one_moment · one_moment

I am having a very difficult time understanding the mind of a recovering (or so I am told) A. My AH is sober or at least that's what he tells me, but I find it very difficult to believe when lately he has been disappearing for a couple days at a time. He was home last night yet is gone today. I am going to f2f meet...

Josephine · Josephine

Hi all.....wish I'd found this forum a long time ago.....my husband has always drank, we met at 19 almost thirty years ago ...we have three beautiful adult children my youngest with special needs is 18 yrs old.....me being sooo busy with kids over the years I was blinded by how dependent to alcohol he w...

DellaB · DellaB

Hello, Wise Ones, Its been at least ten years since my last Al-Anon meeting. My husband and his two grown daughters are alcoholics. Through the years, Ive found Peace by keeping it simple and walking away from their drinking behavior when I can. I think of it as a tornado and its much safer from afar...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi, my name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.Over the holidays I came to a bit of a realization. I have a hard time around families. A friend of mine had a birthday party at a restaurant and invited his whole extended family. His girlfriend also invited her parents.This is someone I hav...

daisy chain · daisy chain

I have something on my mind. I saw on the TV a programme about surrendering as a wife to improve your marriage. There is a web-site about it. What they endorse reminds me of Alanon, self care and letting husband get on with it. It's scaring me a makes me think of step ford wives. I think I sound a little mad, b...

abbyalana · abbyalana

In her fit of anger last night, she said I am always blaming her dad. I do point the responsibility for his decisions right back at him. Do you think that's what she considers the blame? How do I work on that? She also said that I am to blame too. Not sure what that meant either. I did initiate the divor...

imom · imom

Does anyone know anything about or had any experience with their A huffing? This behavior caught me totally off guard!

Jozie · Jozie

Seems to be the Topic of the Week for me! And God Keeps Showing me My Part, and yet I Keep Repeating the Same DUMB Move as Before... SO... Its Time.. Last Night I was to take two Casserole Bowls that My AGram wanted, to her home and Visit a bit, and Possibly see My Uncle (Her SON!) Who was "Suppose"...

littlehob · littlehob

Hi all, My AH is coming home after

being to a family wedding. This was at the end of a months or more of drinking. Went completely off the rails at wedding but She has not had a drink for two days. She is travelling on her own, I dread the key turning in the door tonight. Could I fain sleep? Best to t...

imom · imom

I finally had a moment of clarity. For over a year I have been trying to figure out why I cannot work on myself but always seem to try to work to fix others. Today after yet another argument in front of the kids I realized that I cannot ever fix myself as long as I am living with my AH. For a long time I have wa...

bryteyes · bryteyes

Ive listened to promise after promise, too many lies and through the years lies about money with my verbal abusive AH. Hes just now tryin to take it seriously about 3 months ago and started out good. Went 30 days then relapsed then 45 days now its about twice a week again. On the 7 th of January is when his ab...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Why cant't A/A accept you mean "No" when you say it, they will come back a short time (a few days/wks.) and ask the same thing or something else again. It's a shame to have to detach from most of my family and not have anything to do with them at all. I still say no, still not easy, I let it get into...

Anika · Anika

I have been with my AH (and also addicted to Kush/synthetic pot) + occasional crack, lovely I know. We have one child and another on the way, I'm 8 wks. pregnant, we are married. I separted from him about 3 yrs. ago for 1 solid year and then on/off for another year and now back together 2012. He had a brief...

Stronger4Ever · Stronger4Ever

Well my best friend--former crack addict and alcholic--recently relapsed over Christmas. I have saved her life multiple times this year...and been hit by her abusive boyfriend as well. She wanted to stay at my aprtment when she was kicked out of her sober house, but I refused shortly after I found...

Pushka · Pushka

I wish I could get into the nitty gritty of what is going on and unfortunately I can't at this point and probably not for a LONG time .. it really looks like the courts are going to be a part of my life for a long time to come. The year 2014 has been the end date that I have continued to receive in terms of my divor...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Hi all. Its been awhile...guess I thought I was doing ok...but the past two days I have decided maybe not! The holidays kill me...i try to love them like I did pre marriage but thing is my ah doesnt care for my fam, he no longer has a realtionship with any of his own and well, we spend much of dec walking on egg...

Jozie · Jozie

So... As Most Know i Lost my AFather to this Disease over 4yrs ago, and NOW I'm Doing my Best to Deal with His AMother! My Gram... She is 88 Years old, Still Drives, Still Drinks, Still Hits the Clubs, Still Gambles, and still Manipulates Like Know ones Business... And I"m almost PISSED OFF About it...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I have a very close relationship with my 14 year old son. Over the years AH has pulled away from participating in things with us like hiking, traveling, going to the movies, and other events. He would complain, condemn, or otherwise make a stink so our son and I have developed a very independent relat...

Annie1234 · Annie1234

I really want to go to an Alanon meeting tomorrow. It's very close by. My biggest fear is that I will see someone I know there. I'm very active with my church, and with children's ministries. Can I trust that these meetings are truly anonymous? I know I need to go, and I'm feeling drawn to it.

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Helping is doing something for someone that they are not capable of doing themselves. Enabling is doing for someone things that they could, and should be doing themselves. Well I guess I'm enabling today. I have sat here all day sending my son job postings to apply for a job. Why do I do things like th...

abbyalana · abbyalana

Her dad has had visitation pulled due to continued drug/alcohol abuse. His reaction was to pack up her stuff and dump it on my porch. We've had a quiet week since then until tonight. She wants to talk to her dad. His number has been blocked from her phone so as to avoid inappropriate calls/texts to her. Sh...

Lyne · Lyne

I really don't want a divorce even though I have not liked the way I am treated for most of 21 yrs. I told my son I'm not ready, I don't want another divorce (would be my 2nd), I'm close to retirement age and don't have my funds in order yet (may come in a year or two), don't have good physical health, dread the...

daisy chain · daisy chain

Are we able to mention other web-sites, information we have seen elsewhere or do we need to stay with Alanon literature only like in meetings? I have come across the concept of surrender elsewhere and it is bothering me. Don't know if I can really explain, 2 years into sobriety with Ah I feel I am startin...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I started the new year with overwhelming thoughts of what might happen in the coming year and frustration that it is taking so long for me to move on from the guilt and frustation that I have with regards to my soon-to-be exAH. And what do you know? The ODAT reading for January 1st was exactly what I needed...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

My father always plays this game of "Ill sit here and wait for the phone to ring every single holiday, and if they dont call, ill try heaping guilt on them for not calling me"... I chose not to call on Christmas, not to be stubborn, not to be selfish, just because its a game that goes on every year...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Change in Perspective (Preview) I have been a grateful member here for over 2 years. In the past 18 months, during which my AH's drinking has escalated steadily, I have slowly worked toward detaching from his behavior. I have been feeling more and more like I am ready to leave him. One of the reasons I have been able to detach is that h...	stephaniej	3	270	Jan 8, 2013 by orchidlover
	Things can change so fast! (Preview) We met here at MIP, over ten years ago. He and I kept in communication over ten years, we were very close friends. Reminded each other of our Al Anon skills dealing with my now ex AH, and his soon to be ex AW. Kids are grown now and gone, he is done. Very sadly he has found the evidense of the drug use. We had seen...	Debilyn	5	529	Jan 8, 2013 by AlAnonDave
	the feelings come back (Preview) Since my AH has been going to AA and has been sober for 4weeks now, he is starting to do more around the house and thinks everyone else should too. Today he flipped his lid when he was trying to move a chair from the basement to the upstairs. While he was in the basement my younger son was down there playing...	1976love	8	346	Jan 8, 2013 by orchidlover
	God is bigger than me ... Share (Preview) You know you would think I would get that lesson and seriously it still boggles my mind. There are some freaky things going on at the moment. I have court tomorrow and I am asking for prayers. I feel like the best thing that could happen is (I know wait for it .. LOL) it would actually be delayed. I can't...	Pushka	6	393	Jan 8, 2013 by orchidlover
	I'm a newcomer and I have to say, this works (Preview) I've been to 5 or 6 meetings over the last few months, and just recently made the commitment to come at least once a week. I came to my first meeting in complete desperation, having just had another blow out argument with my husband, an active alcoholic / addict. The cycle was the same, he would be drunk wh...	ParisMemories	8	322	Jan 8, 2013 by orchidlover
	scared every time he walks out the door (Preview) Been with my verbally abusive AB for 2 years and although his drinking has slowed down extremely im still terrified of what could happen and find myself scared every time he walks out the door which is a lot because we have no transportation and he walks everywhere. Ive been diagnosed with PTSD just fro...	bryteyes	2	267	Jan 8, 2013 by orchidlover
	law of attraction and alanon question (Preview) Has anyone heard about the law of attraction? I am getting stuck with how I can use it with alanon as well. My conflict is coming in because I feel like a lot of the LOA teachers speak as if we have all of this power with in us - but alanon teaches us we are powerless over others. I feel so conflicted because...	willowtree	7	794	Jan 7, 2013 by Gette
	Newbie in need of encouragement drinkng (Preview) Hey everyone, I was linked to this site by a friend and I honestly have no idea if I'm posting in the right place or not. I've never looked into Al-Anon or anything of the sort because I've never felt the need to before. The alcoholic is my godfather, so he's not blood related but he was there during child...	savvygirl	1	430	Jan 7, 2013 by hotrod
	in the end nothing else matters (Preview) Hi, I've been through a lot with my AW and reading some of the posts on this site I have come to realise there is some hope for myself. I'm sitting in a hotel room now after another incident with AW and I feel that a great weight has been lifted of my shoulders. I've known my AW for just over 20 years and at the st...	robin1212	10	602	Jan 7, 2013 by Jozie
	needing support today (Preview) My boyfriends dad died 16 years ago that he has issues with. My boyfriend has been doing good with his drinking but days like this not so much. This morning he started out positive so I hope it stays that way. He took extra money tho and has to walk passed all the liquor stores. Is there any key words that wou...	bryteyes	2	268	Jan 7, 2013 by el-cee
	Court today and some victim thinking on my part (Preview) We had court today for my 14 year old to get a permanent restraining order on a boy from her school that has been stalking her and had a few scary incidents. The judge approved the protective order and for the next 4 years if he shows up around here or harasses her in any way we can have him arrested. They stil...	Breakingfree	6	358	Jan 7, 2013 by Debilyn
	Minimum requirements for an Al Anon meeting? (Preview) I attend very helpful meetings with a mixed group of folks dealing with pretty typical AlAnon issues - some have spouse issues, some have "growing up in al alcoholic family" issues, some are parents with kid \ adult children issues - some of the folks in our AlAnon group want to have addit...	texas yankee	6	814	Jan 7, 2013 by hotrod
	Newcomer at a crossroads (Preview) Hello all, I'm hoping I can gain some insight through this community. I have yet to attend a face-to-face AlAnon meeting, but will definitely be looking into meetings. I have never posted on this sort of site and am feeling rather embarrased to share my long story. I had been with my boyfriend for si...	LiliesForPeace	2	688	Jan 7, 2013 by hotrod
	I'm not sure if he's drinking.... (Preview) Hi Al-Anon, I am living with a boyfriend that has had alcohol problems in the past, but that is "no longer an issue". I can't handle a relationship with an alcohol problem, and he occasionally acts odd, which makes me think he has been drinking something and hiding it, or maybe taking some...	Lammy	3	279	Jan 7, 2013 by Lammy
	Doing something for yourself (Preview) Had a good weekend. I've decided to back off a little from my son. I'm getting envolved again and I don't want myself back into the crazyness...although there hasn't been any lately. We did have a nice Friday night going out to dinner and going to one of his meetings. He was listening so I hope he will c...	Cathyinaz	1	265	Jan 7, 2013 by oldergal
	Nearing the end (Preview) We are very near the end of our family unit as we know it. My AH has hit bottom...at least I hope it cannot get lower than this. He despises me right now because I am divorcing him and I called 911 on him and he keeps saying I am feeding lies about him to our children and everyone else. My kids want him out of the h...	imom	4	368	Jan 7, 2013 by Josephine
	Question about sponsors/sponsees relationship (Preview) I have had my sponsor since July. I am working slowly through the steps and I try to contact her weekly. She works full time and has 2 other sponsees along with her own program to work and I know she's quite busy. I texted her on Christmas to wish her a good holiday and then again on New Year's to do the same...	ilovedogs	2	343	Jan 7, 2013 by Pushka
	delaying his return to work (Preview) Hi Everyone, So, I am at my father's getting some laundry done. I come here to do it because he has the machine available and it gives me time to spend with him. I came over and he was passed out. He woke up and we began to chat. He went up to take a shower then came down more drunk than he was when he woke up. I can a...	slogan_jim	2	256	Jan 7, 2013 by slogan_jim
	Not alone but lonely (Preview) I am very lonely tonight but really need to stop this pity party inside my head. Seeing happy families tonight has really hit me hard. I know in my sane mind that I am making the right decision to get off this crazy train, but I still have very sad moments where I wonder if it could ever go back to being good. I...	imom	4	338	Jan 6, 2013 by Auntyaya
	What God Wants Us To See (Preview) ...may not show for some time. Whenever we are in doubt - don't. Wait for His say-so. Most people in recovery (including myself when I'm prideful & angry) will say to not tolerate being controlled etc. But my greatest teacher taught me to break DOWN my pride and tolerate. I'm at Mom & Dad's hous...	WorkingThroughIt	4	318	Jan 6, 2013 by AStrongerMe
	20 years of 'marriage' (Preview) 20 years this April. Can't even remember when life was 'normal'. Six years into our relationship, we adopted our son. That was what 'should come next' right? All downhill from there. I thought it was all about being new parents, but 4 years later the truth showed itself. By that time, I'd been out of the...	Aat	4	389	Jan 6, 2013 by GreenerGrass
	Alcoholic daughter in law Ojwoman (Preview) My son is married to an alcoholic who has recently been placed on two 72 hour hold in the last two weeks for suicidal ideation and depressions issues. In between her last two in patient stays, she was home with my son and their 4 month old daughter. During this time she swore she was taking Antabuse. Long s...	Ojwoman	5	3654	Jan 6, 2013 by Jerry F
	I'm back! (Preview) Hello, yes it is me, Sarah, aka Tiger2006. I wanted to let y'all know, so y'all weren't like "OMG, did her account get hacked?" My AA sponsor told me to come back to al anon, so, I decided to take her suggestions....4 weeks after she made it. Anyway, I wanted to let you know it really is me here,...	Tiger2006	7	288	Jan 6, 2013 by Peggy7
	How do I really let go and focus on myself? (Preview) I'm a total newbie and have not yet been to an alanon meeting so I thought I'd start sharing my story here. My husband is an alcoholic/drug addict/compulsive gambler (lottery). Initially he just drank but then when that became problematic and I made an issue of it he "quit" but actually beg...	teetree	4	1208	Jan 6, 2013 by teetree
	He doesn't care (Preview) I met this guy Michael only 3 weeks ago..but instantly I felt I needed to help him. When I met him all my friends told me he has done drugs and drinks a lot and a part of me didn't care and I talked to him anyway..most people would think I'm dumb for being drawn to that kind of person, but 2 years ago my father pas...	Nicoledilo	5	480	Jan 6, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Losing ability to know next right thing to do! Help!! (Preview) My A/A daughter just called to ask me to pick her up and give her a ride home, she said she was at herald college, an appt. to get GED or some training, and it took longer than she expected. She was very nice about it, I told her no, I had not been out of the house today, and didn't feel like it. Mind you I've tol...	Highlyfavored	7	679	Jan 6, 2013 by Breakingfree
	I'm baaack! And need some help (Preview) Hi Everyone: It's been a while as I feel I have been embroiled in this sickness bigtime, especially the last 2 yrs of my 21 yr marriage. Where we are now: I thought I was practicing detachment and confused this with complete apathy...I was giving nothing to our marriage at all but deciding I had had en...	yanksfan51	8	485	Jan 6, 2013 by yanksfan51
	Newbie here- introducing myself newbie introduction first post triggers (Preview) Hi folks, I married a man who'd been sober over 3 yrs. I only ever knew him as straight, sober & stable. We eloped in the spring but waited until October for a real wedding party. Little did I know that he drank one week before the wedding- a night I went for dinner with girlfriends- a night that he had hi...	midas	5	4221	Jan 6, 2013 by midas
	Sometimes I feel a little crazy (Preview) I had been with my (now ex) AH for 23 years; since age 14 and physically separated for 6 months/divorced for 2. Over the years, he's been abusive, alcoholic, addicted to drugs...you name it - even attempting suicide and being arrested for domestic violence and taking anger management classes. I st...	abbyalana	4	561	Jan 5, 2013 by milkwood
	I elected to call my father tonight (Preview) Even though The whole Christmas phone tag thing was bothering me, I decided to call my Dad, and I'm glad I did. I do love my Dad but this whole thing every year is aggravating. But not enough to keep me from calling him. It was a nice conversation and I'll work a bit harder at staying in touch. Maybe one day we...	AlAnonDave	2	349	Jan 5, 2013 by hotrod
	Tonight (Preview) Hi all I don't know what's been happening but from just before Christmas until now my son has not drank. Didn't have him for Christmas but he did come over for New Years and we had a great time cooking ( he loves to cook) and watching movies. It's so nice when he is not drinking. He seems to have his head t...	Cathyinaz	7	483	Jan 5, 2013 by Jerry F
	AWESOME SPONSORS (Preview) Just like to say a big THANK YOU, to all the great sponsors out there. The ones who go out of their way to help, when its not convenient for them or their families, the ones online too who are in the wings ready to give some ESH, thanks for all you do....Oldergal	oldergal	3	275	Jan 5, 2013 by Jerry F
	Always nervous (Preview) My husband decided to go to a basketball game after work tonight. He swore his drinking will be "under control" (he'll stick to 1 beer per hour) since he already has 2 DUIs and doesn't want to risk another. Am I the only one who thinks this is a joke/ridiculous/total denial??? And yet here I am...	Abtmc	7	418	Jan 5, 2013 by wp
	Living in the present (Preview) I have been on a roller coaster yet wonderful at times emotional journey. I am a researcher. I read what ever I can get my hands on and become, at times, too obsessive with trying to gather as much information as possible. So, in my quest to try and understand, heal from and deal with my broken heart fro...	cinders	5	439	Jan 5, 2013 by hotrod
	Advice? Please.. Newbie (Preview) Hi, I am new to this world and am looking for support from people who have been there. My husband, whom I love very much has had substance abuse issues since we meet. I stupidly thought it was all fun of our youth, I grew up, but he still acts recklessly even though we have two children and a mortgage, high le...	ItsMe	6	533	Jan 5, 2013 by orchidlover
	What do you think? (Preview) I am having a very difficult time understanding the mind of a recovering (or so I am told) A. My AH is sober or at least that's what he tells me, but I find it very difficult to believe when lately he has been disappearing for a couple days at a time. He was home last night yet is gone today. I am going to f2f meet...	one_moment	6	455	Jan 5, 2013 by midas
	Newbie......Australia......it's near the end.....very painful (Preview) Hi all.....wish I'd found this forum a long time ago.....my husband has always drank, we met at 19 almost thirty years ago ...we have three beautiful adult children my youngest with special needs is 18 yrs old.....me being sooo busy with kids over the years I was blinded by how dependent to alcohol he w...	Josephine	4	357	Jan 5, 2013 by Josephine
	Amends gone bad (Preview) Hello, Wise Ones, Its been at least ten years since my last Al-Anon meeting. My husband and his two grown daughters are alcoholics. Through the years, Ive found Peace by keeping it simple and walking away from their drinking behavior when I can. I think of it as a tornado and its much safer from afar...	DellaB	8	573	Jan 4, 2013 by DellaB
	I feel I am isolating (Preview) Hi, my name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.Over the holidays I came to a bit of a realization. I have a hard time around families. A friend of mine had a birthday party at a restaurant and invited his whole extended family. His girlfriend also invited her parents.This is someone I hav...	slogan_jim	4	441	Jan 4, 2013 by xeno59
	Surrender (Preview) I have something on my mind. I saw on the TV a programme about surrendering as a wife to improve your marriage. There is a web-site about it. What they endorse reminds me of Alanon, self care and letting husband get on with it. It's scaring me a makes me think of step ford wives. I think I sound a little mad, b...	daisy chain	3	289	Jan 4, 2013 by daisy chain
	Something my child said to me (Preview) In her fit of anger last night, she said I am always blaming her dad. I do point the responsibility for his decisions right back at him. Do you think that's what she considers the blame? How do I work on that? She also said that I am to blame too. Not sure what that meant either. I did initiate the divor...	abbyalana	7	362	Jan 4, 2013 by xeno59
	Huffing (Preview) Does anyone know anything about or had any experience with their A huffing? This behavior caught me totally off guard!	imom	3	350	Jan 4, 2013 by xeno59
	Letting Go... Letting GOD... & Letting Granny!!! (Preview) Seems to be the Topic of the Week for me! And God Keeps Showing me My Part, and yet I Keep Repeating the Same DUMB Move as Before... SO... Its Time.. Last Night I was to take two Casserole Bowls that My AGram wanted, to her home and Visit a bit, and Possibly see My Uncle (Her SON!) Who was "Suppose"...	Jozie	2	369	Jan 4, 2013 by el-cee
	She's coming home (Preview) Hi all, My AH is coming home after being to a family wedding. This was at the end of a months or more of drinking. Went completely off the rails at wedding but She has not had a drink for two days. She is travelling on her own, I dread the key turning in the door tonight. Could I fain sleep? Best to t...	littlehob	6	383	Jan 4, 2013 by littlehob
	Aha moment (Preview) I finally had a moment of clarity. For over a year I have been trying to figure out why I cannot work on myself but always seem to try to work to fix others. Today after yet another argument in front of the kids I realized that I cannot ever fix myself as long as I am living with my AH. For a long time I have wa...	imom	10	470	Jan 4, 2013 by Umutlu
	feeling more alone and beginning to distant myself from AH (Preview) Ive listened to promise after promise, too many lies and through the years lies about money with my verbal abusive AH. Hes just now tryin to take it seriously about 3 months ago and started out good. Went 30 days then relapsed then 45 days now its about twice a week again. On the 7 th of January is when his ab...	bryteyes	3	372	Jan 4, 2013 by pinkchip
	Why do they keep asking? (Preview) Why cant't A/A accept you mean "No" when you say it, they will come back a short time (a few days/wks.) and ask the same thing or something else again. It's a shame to have to detach from most of my family and not have anything to do with them at all. I still say no, still not easy, I let it get into...	Highlyfavored	4	646	Jan 4, 2013 by tiredtonite
	** Newbie: Frustrated (Preview) I have been with my AH (and also addicted to Kush/synthetic pot) + occasional crack, lovely I know. We have one child and another on the way, I'm 8 wks. pregnant, we are married. I separted from him about 3 yrs. ago for 1 solid year and then on/off for another year and now back together 2012. He had a brief...	Anika	11	471	Jan 4, 2013 by el-cee
	Best friend's third relapse...struggling with guilt (Preview) Well my best friend--former crack addict and alcholic--recently relapsed over Christmas. I have saved her life multiple times this year...and been hit by her abusive boyfriend as well. She wanted to stay at my aprtment when she was kicked out of her sober house, but I refused shortly after I found...	Stronger4Ever	3	330	Jan 4, 2013 by Tracy
	In shock .. Heck of a way to ring in the New Year (Preview) I wish I could get into the nitty gritty of what is going on and unfortunately I can't at this point and probably not for a LONG time .. it really looks like the courts are going to be a part of my life for a long time to come. The year 2014 has been the end date that I have continued to receive in terms of my divor...	Pushka	11	443	Jan 4, 2013 by Pushka
	Thought I was detaching but i have become indifferent (Preview) Hi all. Its been awhile...guess I thought I was doing ok...but the past two days I have decided maybe not! The holidays kill me...i try to love them like I did pre marriage but thing is my ah doesnt care for my fam, he no longer has a realtionship with any of his own and well, we spend much of dec walking on egg...	Theoceancalls	4	592	Jan 4, 2013 by Theoceancalls
	AGranny Struggles... :( (Preview) So... As Most Know i Lost my AFather to this Disease over 4yrs ago, and NOW I'm Doing my Best to Deal with His AMother! My Gram... She is 88 Years old, Still Drives, Still Drinks, Still Hits the Clubs, Still Gambles, and still Manipulates Like Know ones Business... And I"m almost PISSED OFF About it...	Jozie	3	325	Jan 4, 2013 by Jerry F
	Been convicted of how I speak to my teen (Preview) I have a very close relationship with my 14 year old son. Over the years AH has pulled away from participating in things with us like hiking, traveling, going to the movies, and other events. He would complain, condemn, or otherwise make a stink so our son and I have developed a very independent relat...	ilovedogs	3	370	Jan 3, 2013 by xeno59
	A little scared (Preview) I really want to go to an Alanon meeting tomorrow. It's very close by. My biggest fear is that I will see someone I know there. I'm very active with my church, and with children's ministries. Can I trust that these meetings are truly anonymous? I know I need to go, and I'm feeling drawn to it.	Annie1234	6	427	Jan 3, 2013 by Annie1234
	Helping or Enabling (Preview) Helping is doing something for someone that they are not capable of doing themselves. Enabling is doing for someone things that they could, and should be doing themselves. Well I guess I'm enabling today. I have sat here all day sending my son job postings to apply for a job. Why do I do things like th...	Cathyinaz	16	804	Jan 3, 2013 by amarchand
	The anger has begun. From my 12 year old. (Preview) Her dad has had visitation pulled due to continued drug/alcohol abuse. His reaction was to pack up her stuff and dump it on my porch. We've had a quiet week since then until tonight. She wants to talk to her dad. His number has been blocked from her phone so as to avoid inappropriate calls/texts to her. Sh...	abbyalana	3	317	Jan 3, 2013 by abbyalana
	don't want a divorce (Preview) I really don't want a divorce even though I have not liked the way I am treated for most of 21 yrs. I told my son I'm not ready, I don't want another divorce (would be my 2nd), I'm close to retirement age and don't have my funds in order yet (may come in a year or two), don't have good physical health, dread the...	Lyne	5	468	Jan 3, 2013 by Auntyaya
	Surrendering (Preview) Are we able to mention other web-sites, information we have seen elsewhere or do we need to stay with Alanon literature only like in meetings? I have come across the concept of surrender elsewhere and it is bothering me. Don't know if I can really explain, 2 years into sobriety with Ah I feel I am startin...	daisy chain	7	380	Jan 3, 2013 by Jerry F
	Overcoming Anxiety and Impatience ODAT (Preview) I started the new year with overwhelming thoughts of what might happen in the coming year and frustration that it is taking so long for me to move on from the guilt and frustation that I have with regards to my soon-to-be exAH. And what do you know? The ODAT reading for January 1st was exactly what I needed...	Green Eyes	1	576	Jan 3, 2013 by Pushka
	Had a nice holiday...but..... (Preview) My father always plays this game of "Ill sit here and wait for the phone to ring every single holiday, and if they dont call, ill try heaping guilt on them for not calling me"... I chose not to call on Christmas, not to be stubborn, not to be selfish, just because its a game that goes on every year...	AlAnonDave	1	340	Jan 3, 2013 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.