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Newbie here- introducing myself
(Preview)
Hi folks, I married a man who'd been sober over 3 yrs. I only ever knew him as straight, sober & stable. We eloped in the spring but waited until October for a real wedding party. Little did I know that he drank one week before the wedding- a night I went for dinner with girlfriends- a night that he had hi...
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midas
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5
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3865
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Sometimes I feel a little crazy
(Preview)
I had been with my (now ex) AH for 23 years; since age 14 and physically separated for 6 months/divorced for 2. Over the years, he's been abusive, alcoholic, addicted to drugs...you name it - even attempting suicide and being arrested for domestic violence and taking anger management classes. I st...
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abbyalana
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4
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509
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I elected to call my father tonight
(Preview)
Even though The whole Christmas phone tag thing was bothering me, I decided to call my Dad, and I'm glad I did. I do love my Dad but this whole thing every year is aggravating. But not enough to keep me from calling him. It was a nice conversation and I'll work a bit harder at staying in touch. Maybe one day we...
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AlAnonDave
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2
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294
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Tonight
(Preview)
Hi all I don't know what's been happening but from just before Christmas until now my son has not drank. Didn't have him for Christmas but he did come over for New Years and we had a great time cooking ( he loves to cook) and watching movies. It's so nice when he is not drinking. He seems to have his head t...
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Cathyinaz
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7
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425
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AWESOME SPONSORS
(Preview)
Just like to say a big THANK YOU, to all the great sponsors out there. The ones who go out of their way to help, when its not convenient for them or their families, the ones online too who are in the wings ready to give some ESH, thanks for all you do....Oldergal
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oldergal
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3
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218
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Always nervous
(Preview)
My husband decided to go to a basketball game after work tonight. He swore his drinking will be "under control" (he'll stick to 1 beer per hour) since he already has 2 DUIs and doesn't want to risk another. Am I the only one who thinks this is a joke/ridiculous/total denial??? And yet here I am...
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Abtmc
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7
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360
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Living in the present
(Preview)
I have been on a roller coaster yet wonderful at times emotional journey. I am a researcher. I read what ever I can get my hands on and become, at times, too obsessive with trying to gather as much information as possible. So, in my quest to try and understand, heal from and deal with my broken heart fro...
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cinders
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5
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383
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Advice? Please.. Newbie
(Preview)
Hi, I am new to this world and am looking for support from people who have been there. My husband, whom I love very much has had substance abuse issues since we meet. I stupidly thought it was all fun of our youth, I grew up, but he still acts recklessly even though we have two children and a mortgage, high le...
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ItsMe
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6
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482
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What do you think?
(Preview)
I am having a very difficult time understanding the mind of a recovering (or so I am told) A. My AH is sober or at least that's what he tells me, but I find it very difficult to believe when lately he has been disappearing for a couple days at a time. He was home last night yet is gone today. I am going to f2f meet...
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one_moment
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6
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400
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Newbie......Australia......it's near the end.....very painful
(Preview)
Hi all.....wish I'd found this forum a long time ago.....my husband has always drank, we met at 19 almost thirty years ago ...we have three beautiful adult children my youngest with special needs is 18 yrs old.....me being sooo busy with kids over the years I was blinded by how dependent to alcohol he w...
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Josephine
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4
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296
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Amends gone bad
(Preview)
Hello, Wise Ones, Its been at least ten years since my last Al-Anon meeting. My husband and his two grown daughters are alcoholics. Through the years, Ive found Peace by keeping it simple and walking away from their drinking behavior when I can. I think of it as a tornado and its much safer from afar...
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DellaB
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8
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504
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I feel I am isolating
(Preview)
Hi, my name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.Over the holidays I came to a bit of a realization. I have a hard time around families. A friend of mine had a birthday party at a restaurant and invited his whole extended family. His girlfriend also invited her parents.This is someone I hav...
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slogan_jim
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4
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382
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Surrender
(Preview)
I have something on my mind. I saw on the TV a programme about surrendering as a wife to improve your marriage. There is a web-site about it. What they endorse reminds me of Alanon, self care and letting husband get on with it. It's scaring me a makes me think of step ford wives. I think I sound a little mad, b...
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daisy chain
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3
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237
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Something my child said to me
(Preview)
In her fit of anger last night, she said I am always blaming her dad. I do point the responsibility for his decisions right back at him. Do you think that's what she considers the blame? How do I work on that? She also said that I am to blame too. Not sure what that meant either. I did initiate the divor...
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abbyalana
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7
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312
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Huffing
(Preview)
Does anyone know anything about or had any experience with their A huffing? This behavior caught me totally off guard!
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imom
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3
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295
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Letting Go... Letting GOD... & Letting Granny!!!
(Preview)
Seems to be the Topic of the Week for me! And God Keeps Showing me My Part, and yet I Keep Repeating the Same DUMB Move as Before... SO... Its Time.. Last Night I was to take two Casserole Bowls that My AGram wanted, to her home and Visit a bit, and Possibly see My Uncle (Her SON!) Who was "Suppose"...
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Jozie
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2
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317
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She's coming home
(Preview)
Hi all,
My AH is coming home after being to a family wedding. This was at the end of a months or more of drinking. Went completely off the rails at wedding but She has not had a drink for two days. She is travelling on her own, I dread the key turning in the door tonight. Could I fain sleep? Best to t...
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littlehob
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6
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329
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Aha moment
(Preview)
I finally had a moment of clarity. For over a year I have been trying to figure out why I cannot work on myself but always seem to try to work to fix others. Today after yet another argument in front of the kids I realized that I cannot ever fix myself as long as I am living with my AH. For a long time I have wa...
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imom
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10
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414
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feeling more alone and beginning to distant myself from AH
(Preview)
Ive listened to promise after promise, too many lies and through the years lies about money with my verbal abusive AH. Hes just now tryin to take it seriously about 3 months ago and started out good. Went 30 days then relapsed then 45 days now its about twice a week again. On the 7 th of January is when his ab...
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bryteyes
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3
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321
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Why do they keep asking?
(Preview)
Why cant't A/A accept you mean "No" when you say it, they will come back a short time (a few days/wks.) and ask the same thing or something else again. It's a shame to have to detach from most of my family and not have anything to do with them at all. I still say no, still not easy, I let it get into...
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Highlyfavored
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4
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587
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** Newbie: Frustrated
(Preview)
I have been with my AH (and also addicted to Kush/synthetic pot) + occasional crack, lovely I know. We have one child and another on the way, I'm 8 wks. pregnant, we are married. I separted from him about 3 yrs. ago for 1 solid year and then on/off for another year and now back together 2012. He had a brief...
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Anika
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11
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414
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Best friend's third relapse...struggling with guilt
(Preview)
Well my best friend--former crack addict and alcholic--recently relapsed over Christmas. I have saved her life multiple times this year...and been hit by her abusive boyfriend as well. She wanted to stay at my aprtment when she was kicked out of her sober house, but I refused shortly after I found...
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Stronger4Ever
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3
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279
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In shock .. Heck of a way to ring in the New Year
(Preview)
I wish I could get into the nitty gritty of what is going on and unfortunately I can't at this point and probably not for a LONG time .. it really looks like the courts are going to be a part of my life for a long time to come. The year 2014 has been the end date that I have continued to receive in terms of my divor...
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Pushka
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11
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392
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Thought I was detaching but i have become indifferent
(Preview)
Hi all. Its been awhile...guess I thought I was doing ok...but the past two days I have decided maybe not! The holidays kill me...i try to love them like I did pre marriage but thing is my ah doesnt care for my fam, he no longer has a realtionship with any of his own and well, we spend much of dec walking on egg...
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Theoceancalls
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4
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538
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AGranny Struggles... :(
(Preview)
So... As Most Know i Lost my AFather to this Disease over 4yrs ago, and NOW I'm Doing my Best to Deal with His AMother! My Gram... She is 88 Years old, Still Drives, Still Drinks, Still Hits the Clubs, Still Gambles, and still Manipulates Like Know ones Business... And I"m almost PISSED OFF About it...
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Jozie
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3
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269
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Been convicted of how I speak to my teen
(Preview)
I have a very close relationship with my 14 year old son. Over the years AH has pulled away from participating in things with us like hiking, traveling, going to the movies, and other events. He would complain, condemn, or otherwise make a stink so our son and I have developed a very independent relat...
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ilovedogs
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3
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305
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A little scared
(Preview)
I really want to go to an Alanon meeting tomorrow. It's very close by. My biggest fear is that I will see someone I know there. I'm very active with my church, and with children's ministries. Can I trust that these meetings are truly anonymous? I know I need to go, and I'm feeling drawn to it.
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Annie1234
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6
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375
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Helping or Enabling
(Preview)
Helping is doing something for someone that they are not capable of doing themselves. Enabling is doing for someone things that they could, and should be doing themselves. Well I guess I'm enabling today. I have sat here all day sending my son job postings to apply for a job. Why do I do things like th...
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Cathyinaz
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16
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753
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The anger has begun. From my 12 year old.
(Preview)
Her dad has had visitation pulled due to continued drug/alcohol abuse. His reaction was to pack up her stuff and dump it on my porch. We've had a quiet week since then until tonight. She wants to talk to her dad. His number has been blocked from her phone so as to avoid inappropriate calls/texts to her. Sh...
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abbyalana
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3
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268
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don't want a divorce
(Preview)
I really don't want a divorce even though I have not liked the way I am treated for most of 21 yrs. I told my son I'm not ready, I don't want another divorce (would be my 2nd), I'm close to retirement age and don't have my funds in order yet (may come in a year or two), don't have good physical health, dread the...
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Lyne
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5
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413
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Surrendering
(Preview)
Are we able to mention other web-sites, information we have seen elsewhere or do we need to stay with Alanon literature only like in meetings? I have come across the concept of surrender elsewhere and it is bothering me. Don't know if I can really explain, 2 years into sobriety with Ah I feel I am startin...
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daisy chain
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7
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326
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Overcoming Anxiety and Impatience
(Preview)
I started the new year with overwhelming thoughts of what might happen in the coming year and frustration that it is taking so long for me to move on from the guilt and frustation that I have with regards to my soon-to-be exAH. And what do you know? The ODAT reading for January 1st was exactly what I needed...
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Green Eyes
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1
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523
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Had a nice holiday...but.....
(Preview)
My father always plays this game of "Ill sit here and wait for the phone to ring every single holiday, and if they dont call, ill try heaping guilt on them for not calling me"... I chose not to call on Christmas, not to be stubborn, not to be selfish, just because its a game that goes on every year...
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AlAnonDave
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1
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288
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Happy 2013
(Preview)
Hi All, I have not posted for a while, I am feling good t the moment, been working the steps and focusing on myself and working on my connection with my Hp. My A has been sober for about 4 months ut things are far from perfect ha ha. I have to remind myself daily that he is non of my business. That he is still sic...
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Tracy
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2
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297
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Tradition One...
(Preview)
Oh how often have I had an issue, In Alanon, and put my big foot in it it! Come to thing of it that is how I have learned, and grown. Not sure what will happen here- I have no beef with this forum- no issues to raise. This has to do with Alanon as a whole. The only time, in my Alanon walk we had a conscience meeting...
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DavidG
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7
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2431
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Not a good way to start a day
(Preview)
or a week or a year. The public is allowed by permit to fire off fireworks over the New Years night and there are legals and illegals...poppers to boomers and our two pups will cower and tremble thru it all. We did not get relaxants for them...just because? so my wife stayed with one pup and me the other w...
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Jerry F
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9
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663
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What do you tell the children?
(Preview)
Hello everyone. Newbie here with a solid question. First I feel I should give you some background info. I have been married to my AH for 4 years, we have been together for 8. When we met I have 2 kids from a previous marriage. My oldest is 14 and then my middle is 11. When they met my AH they were 6 and 3. ...
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1976love
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12
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568
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Greetings in the New Year - working on what I can control
(Preview)
Greetings to the New Year all! I won't say "Happy" New Year because who knows what lies ahead for each of us and that is such a high standard to live up to. Quite often it can make those feel less than because they do not achieve that "Happy" New Year. Over the past couple of years, th...
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amills4294
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1
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211
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So Afraid to Confront My Mom
(Preview)
My mother is an alcoholic that is prone to rage. I am totally and completely afraid of rages. She also pretends that she isn't an alcoholic (she calls it "having a couple of cocktails,") despite the fact that she has been drinking herself into a total stupor every night for 21 years, and s...
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house cat
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4
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378
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after the anger and resentment have gone.
(Preview)
Its now been 3 months since i made the desciscion to seperate from my AW, at the time i had left i was full of resentment and anger, this contunued due to her behaviour for the following months afterwards, she decided to start selling all our belongings in the house for 10 pounds an item including a table a...
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davie
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4
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313
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Holidays and Drinking and Drugging?
(Preview)
I don't mean to sound naive, but from an Alanon/AA perspective seriously why do you think the Holidays cause people to drink and drug more and have relapses and just overall more insanity? Oldergal
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oldergal
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4
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359
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courage needed
(Preview)
My 19 yr old is drunk tonight. I've told him he's not staying here. He says he has nowhere to stay and needs to come here. My stomach is in knots. I'm scared to let him in as he can be abusive towards me and my 15yr old and I'm scared to not let him in in case he freezes or disturbs the neighbours who are elderly. F...
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el-cee
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7
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413
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tomorrow mornings chatroom meeting
(Preview)
I won't be able to chair tomorrow mornings meeting due to holidays, I will be back for all the wednesday's after that
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RobinKSC
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0
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155
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ADULT SON
(Preview)
Where to start......My son who is dying from alcholism is breaking my heart and soul. As I am trying to get these words down tears are streaming. My son has a 8 year old son who brings light and happiness when he visits to me and my husband. He deserves a happy, wholesome and sober father. My grandson is...
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MOMD
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5
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509
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new year, new way
(Preview)
So this morning, my AH who has been going to AA faithfully for the past 4 weeks said his New Year resolution is not to hate anymore. We have one family member in particular that takes alot of strength to like and even understand. He is always spewing hate towards this person and won't stop. I was so happ...
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1976love
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2
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211
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13 is my lucky number and this year just happens to be 2013!
(Preview)
I am truly excited about this year for the first time in a long time. I feel new and fresh about my life and where it is headed. I am in nursing school and will graduate in 2014 and I feel like I am finally living up to my potential and not afraid to test myself. I feel like I have scraped off enough layers of my s...
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Breakingfree
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3
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245
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Hard reading
(Preview)
I finally got "co dependent no more " yesterday & just reading the preface turned me into a puddle. I'm am guilty of it all! Such a hard read for me but I'm going to continue reading.
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AngieP
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6
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452
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Reflections on 2012
(Preview)
I'm ready to let 2012 go. This is the year that I decided to end my 30 year marriage to my AH. This has been one of the most difficult decisions that I have ever had make in my life and I am trusting in my HP to show me the way. Here is one of my favorite sayings that I ran across this year: "In order to get to th...
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Green Eyes
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6
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344
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new year
(Preview)
Its been awhile since I last posted. My AH is still the same. Even tho he is sober he still makes irrational decisions and lies all the time. I have picked up a 2nd job for the holidays and I am saving up my money. I want to trust my AH but I just cant seem too. He left for a few hours and when he came back He said he h...
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texasgal
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4
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205
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A new hope
(Preview)
Happy New year to everyone celebrating. It's my hope that God blesses each and everyone including the active alcoholic/addict in your life with newfound peace and serenity. I have a feeling it's going to be a whole new life for me, just coming into alanon and accepting the new prospect of a spiritual l...
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AlAnonDave
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3
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376
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Funny end to my day
(Preview)
Silly funny thing happened to me today. After taking a walk outside on my last break, I returned to the office and when opening a door, received a very large shock. I dread touching anything metal in the winter because I constantly get shocked. Guess I just have an electrifying personality! Anyh...
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cinders
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6
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365
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new year's resolution
(Preview)
I have decided that my resolution for the new year will be to practice detachment on a daily basis. This is extremely hard for me. If anyone has any advice or tips, I would love to hear them. Thanks for being there for me all this time and Happy New Year to all!
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imom
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4
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329
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what the new year brings for me!
(Preview)
On Friday I will have 27 years in the program. I am so grateful for all this time. I am happy to have all the friends I have met in this beautiful program. I have also been blessed w/ you all on MIP. I wouldn't have had such a successful mostly uneventful years w/o you. I am grateful for uneventful years becau...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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244
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Relapse do I go to the rescue
(Preview)
Hi,
My partner is away from home and is staying with relatives for a family wedding. Before she went she had started to drink again. She is In AA and was off it for a year following rehab, takes the oils and has an implant. These are obviously not working. She has been asked to leave one relatives house bec...
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littlehob
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4
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543
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'This year is a book with clean blank pages'
(Preview)
I want to fill my blank pages with awareness of myself and my flaws. I want to take more care of my health and well being. I want to be less judgemental and resentful. I want to be kinder and calmer.
Not too much to ask for!
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el-cee
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1
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317
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confrontations
(Preview)
I cannot stop feeling the urge to confront my AH's mother about giving him percocets and methodone. I am so angry!!!! I know it will do no good to confront her, but this urge is not going away. I want to tell her that she is no longer welcome in my house and that she will no longer try to have a relationship...
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imom
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8
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536
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Saying goodbye to 2012 with a relapse
(Preview)
Well, things were going too well, I guess. My AH had nearly 4 months of sobriety (not much, I know but big for him ) and then relapsed twice over the holidays. What makes the all the more dramatic is tonight was the most recent while we're out if town for a friends wedding on New Years Eve. We flew separately...
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Findinghope
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7
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463
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New Year is looking bright
(Preview)
There is work going on with my exH i'm not involved in. Between his new therapist (well old but hasn't seen him in years) and the aunt who called him out on the abuse and took away his last standing ability to lie about me in court and lie about his abuse of the kids - I hear through the aunt that he's quit his v...
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AStrongerMe
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4
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274
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Hi I'm new here.
(Preview)
Hi, I'm new here but not new to Alanon have been going to meetings for 27 months now. It was 2 years in September, for some reason I have to be specific and say 27 months those extra 3 months from the 2 years need to be mentioned. I know there is a reading about been specific in the Courage to Change book. It is a...
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daisy chain
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4
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319
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My F2F meetings turned out to be not so anonymouse...
(Preview)
sooo... I live in a small town with a very large extended family. Many of them I don't even know. never got to know. and really don't have the desire to get to know. We are speaking of my biological father's side of the family. Since I started Al-Anon on-line, I have attempted to go to face to face meetings....
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Desirae
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5
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471
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