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Been convicted of how I speak to my teen
(Preview)
I have a very close relationship with my 14 year old son. Over the years AH has pulled away from participating in things with us like hiking, traveling, going to the movies, and other events. He would complain, condemn, or otherwise make a stink so our son and I have developed a very independent relat...
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ilovedogs
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3
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289
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A little scared
(Preview)
I really want to go to an Alanon meeting tomorrow. It's very close by. My biggest fear is that I will see someone I know there. I'm very active with my church, and with children's ministries. Can I trust that these meetings are truly anonymous? I know I need to go, and I'm feeling drawn to it.
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Annie1234
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6
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358
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Helping or Enabling
(Preview)
Helping is doing something for someone that they are not capable of doing themselves. Enabling is doing for someone things that they could, and should be doing themselves. Well I guess I'm enabling today. I have sat here all day sending my son job postings to apply for a job. Why do I do things like th...
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Cathyinaz
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16
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739
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The anger has begun. From my 12 year old.
(Preview)
Her dad has had visitation pulled due to continued drug/alcohol abuse. His reaction was to pack up her stuff and dump it on my porch. We've had a quiet week since then until tonight. She wants to talk to her dad. His number has been blocked from her phone so as to avoid inappropriate calls/texts to her. Sh...
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abbyalana
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3
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250
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don't want a divorce
(Preview)
I really don't want a divorce even though I have not liked the way I am treated for most of 21 yrs. I told my son I'm not ready, I don't want another divorce (would be my 2nd), I'm close to retirement age and don't have my funds in order yet (may come in a year or two), don't have good physical health, dread the...
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Lyne
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5
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397
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Surrendering
(Preview)
Are we able to mention other web-sites, information we have seen elsewhere or do we need to stay with Alanon literature only like in meetings? I have come across the concept of surrender elsewhere and it is bothering me. Don't know if I can really explain, 2 years into sobriety with Ah I feel I am startin...
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daisy chain
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7
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312
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Overcoming Anxiety and Impatience
(Preview)
I started the new year with overwhelming thoughts of what might happen in the coming year and frustration that it is taking so long for me to move on from the guilt and frustation that I have with regards to my soon-to-be exAH. And what do you know? The ODAT reading for January 1st was exactly what I needed...
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Green Eyes
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1
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510
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Had a nice holiday...but.....
(Preview)
My father always plays this game of "Ill sit here and wait for the phone to ring every single holiday, and if they dont call, ill try heaping guilt on them for not calling me"... I chose not to call on Christmas, not to be stubborn, not to be selfish, just because its a game that goes on every year...
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AlAnonDave
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1
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273
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Happy 2013
(Preview)
Hi All, I have not posted for a while, I am feling good t the moment, been working the steps and focusing on myself and working on my connection with my Hp. My A has been sober for about 4 months ut things are far from perfect ha ha. I have to remind myself daily that he is non of my business. That he is still sic...
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Tracy
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2
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278
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Tradition One...
(Preview)
Oh how often have I had an issue, In Alanon, and put my big foot in it it! Come to thing of it that is how I have learned, and grown. Not sure what will happen here- I have no beef with this forum- no issues to raise. This has to do with Alanon as a whole. The only time, in my Alanon walk we had a conscience meeting...
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DavidG
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7
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2321
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Not a good way to start a day
(Preview)
or a week or a year. The public is allowed by permit to fire off fireworks over the New Years night and there are legals and illegals...poppers to boomers and our two pups will cower and tremble thru it all. We did not get relaxants for them...just because? so my wife stayed with one pup and me the other w...
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Jerry F
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9
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646
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What do you tell the children?
(Preview)
Hello everyone. Newbie here with a solid question. First I feel I should give you some background info. I have been married to my AH for 4 years, we have been together for 8. When we met I have 2 kids from a previous marriage. My oldest is 14 and then my middle is 11. When they met my AH they were 6 and 3. ...
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1976love
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12
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545
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Greetings in the New Year - working on what I can control
(Preview)
Greetings to the New Year all! I won't say "Happy" New Year because who knows what lies ahead for each of us and that is such a high standard to live up to. Quite often it can make those feel less than because they do not achieve that "Happy" New Year. Over the past couple of years, th...
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amills4294
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1
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193
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So Afraid to Confront My Mom
(Preview)
My mother is an alcoholic that is prone to rage. I am totally and completely afraid of rages. She also pretends that she isn't an alcoholic (she calls it "having a couple of cocktails,") despite the fact that she has been drinking herself into a total stupor every night for 21 years, and s...
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house cat
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4
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362
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after the anger and resentment have gone.
(Preview)
Its now been 3 months since i made the desciscion to seperate from my AW, at the time i had left i was full of resentment and anger, this contunued due to her behaviour for the following months afterwards, she decided to start selling all our belongings in the house for 10 pounds an item including a table a...
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davie
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4
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291
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Holidays and Drinking and Drugging?
(Preview)
I don't mean to sound naive, but from an Alanon/AA perspective seriously why do you think the Holidays cause people to drink and drug more and have relapses and just overall more insanity? Oldergal
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oldergal
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4
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341
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courage needed
(Preview)
My 19 yr old is drunk tonight. I've told him he's not staying here. He says he has nowhere to stay and needs to come here. My stomach is in knots. I'm scared to let him in as he can be abusive towards me and my 15yr old and I'm scared to not let him in in case he freezes or disturbs the neighbours who are elderly. F...
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el-cee
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7
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394
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tomorrow mornings chatroom meeting
(Preview)
I won't be able to chair tomorrow mornings meeting due to holidays, I will be back for all the wednesday's after that
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RobinKSC
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0
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142
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ADULT SON
(Preview)
Where to start......My son who is dying from alcholism is breaking my heart and soul. As I am trying to get these words down tears are streaming. My son has a 8 year old son who brings light and happiness when he visits to me and my husband. He deserves a happy, wholesome and sober father. My grandson is...
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MOMD
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5
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490
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new year, new way
(Preview)
So this morning, my AH who has been going to AA faithfully for the past 4 weeks said his New Year resolution is not to hate anymore. We have one family member in particular that takes alot of strength to like and even understand. He is always spewing hate towards this person and won't stop. I was so happ...
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1976love
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2
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197
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13 is my lucky number and this year just happens to be 2013!
(Preview)
I am truly excited about this year for the first time in a long time. I feel new and fresh about my life and where it is headed. I am in nursing school and will graduate in 2014 and I feel like I am finally living up to my potential and not afraid to test myself. I feel like I have scraped off enough layers of my s...
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Breakingfree
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3
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229
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Hard reading
(Preview)
I finally got "co dependent no more " yesterday & just reading the preface turned me into a puddle. I'm am guilty of it all! Such a hard read for me but I'm going to continue reading.
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AngieP
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6
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426
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Reflections on 2012
(Preview)
I'm ready to let 2012 go. This is the year that I decided to end my 30 year marriage to my AH. This has been one of the most difficult decisions that I have ever had make in my life and I am trusting in my HP to show me the way. Here is one of my favorite sayings that I ran across this year: "In order to get to th...
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Green Eyes
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6
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328
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new year
(Preview)
Its been awhile since I last posted. My AH is still the same. Even tho he is sober he still makes irrational decisions and lies all the time. I have picked up a 2nd job for the holidays and I am saving up my money. I want to trust my AH but I just cant seem too. He left for a few hours and when he came back He said he h...
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texasgal
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4
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189
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A new hope
(Preview)
Happy New year to everyone celebrating. It's my hope that God blesses each and everyone including the active alcoholic/addict in your life with newfound peace and serenity. I have a feeling it's going to be a whole new life for me, just coming into alanon and accepting the new prospect of a spiritual l...
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AlAnonDave
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3
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360
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Funny end to my day
(Preview)
Silly funny thing happened to me today. After taking a walk outside on my last break, I returned to the office and when opening a door, received a very large shock. I dread touching anything metal in the winter because I constantly get shocked. Guess I just have an electrifying personality! Anyh...
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cinders
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6
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348
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new year's resolution
(Preview)
I have decided that my resolution for the new year will be to practice detachment on a daily basis. This is extremely hard for me. If anyone has any advice or tips, I would love to hear them. Thanks for being there for me all this time and Happy New Year to all!
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imom
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4
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307
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what the new year brings for me!
(Preview)
On Friday I will have 27 years in the program. I am so grateful for all this time. I am happy to have all the friends I have met in this beautiful program. I have also been blessed w/ you all on MIP. I wouldn't have had such a successful mostly uneventful years w/o you. I am grateful for uneventful years becau...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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226
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Relapse do I go to the rescue
(Preview)
Hi,
My partner is away from home and is staying with relatives for a family wedding. Before she went she had started to drink again. She is In AA and was off it for a year following rehab, takes the oils and has an implant. These are obviously not working. She has been asked to leave one relatives house bec...
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littlehob
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4
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524
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'This year is a book with clean blank pages'
(Preview)
I want to fill my blank pages with awareness of myself and my flaws. I want to take more care of my health and well being. I want to be less judgemental and resentful. I want to be kinder and calmer.
Not too much to ask for!
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el-cee
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1
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303
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confrontations
(Preview)
I cannot stop feeling the urge to confront my AH's mother about giving him percocets and methodone. I am so angry!!!! I know it will do no good to confront her, but this urge is not going away. I want to tell her that she is no longer welcome in my house and that she will no longer try to have a relationship...
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imom
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8
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520
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Saying goodbye to 2012 with a relapse
(Preview)
Well, things were going too well, I guess. My AH had nearly 4 months of sobriety (not much, I know but big for him ) and then relapsed twice over the holidays. What makes the all the more dramatic is tonight was the most recent while we're out if town for a friends wedding on New Years Eve. We flew separately...
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Findinghope
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7
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442
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New Year is looking bright
(Preview)
There is work going on with my exH i'm not involved in. Between his new therapist (well old but hasn't seen him in years) and the aunt who called him out on the abuse and took away his last standing ability to lie about me in court and lie about his abuse of the kids - I hear through the aunt that he's quit his v...
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AStrongerMe
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4
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254
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Hi I'm new here.
(Preview)
Hi, I'm new here but not new to Alanon have been going to meetings for 27 months now. It was 2 years in September, for some reason I have to be specific and say 27 months those extra 3 months from the 2 years need to be mentioned. I know there is a reading about been specific in the Courage to Change book. It is a...
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daisy chain
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4
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303
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My F2F meetings turned out to be not so anonymouse...
(Preview)
sooo... I live in a small town with a very large extended family. Many of them I don't even know. never got to know. and really don't have the desire to get to know. We are speaking of my biological father's side of the family. Since I started Al-Anon on-line, I have attempted to go to face to face meetings....
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Desirae
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5
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450
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what can I do to keep the peace?...and Happy New Year to all Family!
(Preview)
I draw my finishing line on Christmas in my realtionship with the ABF. Now I am hoem in my hometown for the holidays, far away. and I feel I am breathing again. But he sends me texts and emails, an even if he agreed to break up after the huge fight, he now seems to be back in denial again, and he also thinks he h...
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tortuga
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5
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338
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The crossroads - advice needed
(Preview)
This is my first time posting, although I've been reading the forum daily for a few weeks. I am married to my AddictH and started going to Al-Anon a few weeks ago when he relapsed after a week of being clean. During that withdrawl he begged for help (this was only his second major withdrawl since he began u...
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Number30
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4
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366
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Woke up feeling tired
(Preview)
Last night I had a hard time going to sleep because my AH. Wanted me only. Kids come to the locked bedroom door because now that he is 45 days sober he started new routines that make me feel trapped again. The kids don't bother me now because dad says leave her alone your stressing her out and shut and locks d...
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broken apart
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5
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445
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Finding serenity in the new year
(Preview)
I am determined to continue working my program in 2013. I have learned so much from Al Anon and from these boards and from the wonderful supportive people here on MIP. I came home from being away 4 days and found chaos in the house. Broken framed print from Italy that I cherished and got custom framed....
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ilovedogs
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4
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331
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alanon perspective
(Preview)
I am just wondering what the alanon steps would suggest I do when I found a bottle of percocet and methadone. Of course, I called him out on it and started a big family fight.Of course he insisted that he is not addicted and of course he asked me to be in charge of them and to hand them out to him when needed to...
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imom
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3
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307
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Pregnant and a husband with an alcohol problem
(Preview)
I'm new and I'm here bc I'm desperate for support and advice. I just don't know what to do. My husband loves to drink -always has. It's led to frequent fights between us as Ive realized how he just can't/won't stop. He says he loves it, knows it's a problem but never wants to be one of those people who don't...
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Abtmc
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12
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380
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Me vs Relapse
(Preview)
I've been away from this board for about a year and a half. I've saved up a whole pile of ESH, thinking I'd come back here one experience at a time, but a recent experience changes that. I first came 6 years ago as my exAH's alcoholism came to light, and he was having an affair. He entered a strict 5 yr program...
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Loupiness
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5
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409
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My son and me
(Preview)
Good Morning everyone I called my son last night and we had a nice talk. He was sober so it was nice. We talked about him and AA and he has decided not to attend which I was disappointed about this but it's his decision. What I have have to do is change more. I don't need to avoid him anymore. I need to ex...
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Cathyinaz
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6
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298
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MOM is home & I think...
(Preview)
MOM is home & I think it is going to be better. She has been gone for about a month & just got home on Thurs. I am waiting for her to arrive at the library so we can get together after I get off of here. I really missed her this time & think I will have a new appreciation of her. It may not last but I am go...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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376
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If it weren't for bad luck....
(Preview)
I'd have no luck at all. Blizzard here in New England...so this a.m. I spent 2 hours shoveling and clearing snow (it cost $50 to $75 a storm for a plow truck to come). My house is trashed with Christmas crap...wrapping paper, knick knacks... I have hundreds of papers to grade...as grades are due Sunday....
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rehprof
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8
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335
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Step 6
(Preview)
Step 6 has been posted to the Step Work Board http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t52063114/step-6-alanon/ Feel free to join us and share your ESH
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hotrod
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0
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197
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Alanon must be working
(Preview)
Because this morning, instead of trying to be there for my roommate when I needed to be there for myself today, I was there for myself. He was in a stinky mood again and I did not buy it. I simply said good morning and then went back to my computer and my work. I am sorry for his struggle, but I have to let him st...
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AllieinAlanon
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2
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277
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How do I explain this to my 12 year old?
(Preview)
I texted (our only form of communication) the exAH that due to his continued alcohol and drug abuse issues and per the therapists recommendation that visitation would cease. He could take me in for contempt of court and we would go have a discussion with Donna (she's our mediator.) I spoke with the m...
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abbyalana
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7
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473
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Help!!! my recoverying alcoholic is on the verge of a relapse
(Preview)
Hi all I am new to this site. My husband has been an alcoholic for many many years. Last August he got really sick to the point where if he continued drinking he would die. He finally decided to get help and he has been sober for just a little over a year . With the Christmas holidays he had a relapse.... He is s...
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Kim8663
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4
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539
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This must be a new phase of the disease
(Preview)
After 22 years of drinking, raising kids and hubby having horrible relationship with my son. Which was a handful to say the least. My husband and I got together when my son was 4 months. My husband was on him hard, I was always in the middle. My son in high school stayed away from home as much as he could. Me...
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karren26
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11
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687
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Don't have a clear mind
(Preview)
I feel so dum stupid so confused about everything . Never had a chance to have my own independence . I went from a strong controlled catholic home. To a marrage with a AH. Years of controll and not able to speak unless asked for permission. Took years to say I want a divorce.. That was tough for me. I was divo...
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broken apart
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3
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230
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I will be okay no matter what!
(Preview)
I have learned and grown so much since finding al-anon 2 years ago. I have come out of the land of make believe to the land of reality and accept it as it is. I am making my life what I want it to be, I am not waiting for anyone else to make these changes. I am making the changes I can within myself and life just kee...
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Breakingfree
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6
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328
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Being a double winner sure is tough...
(Preview)
Ive only just recently become a member of AlAnon, mostly due to my AA sponsor seeing some problems with me emotionally and having enough insight to see that it was AlAnon & ACOA issues coming up, and Im grateful for that. I had told him I felt guilty asserting myself on my daughter who Ive posted abou...
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AlAnonDave
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1
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327
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New Year coming :)
(Preview)
There is a new year coming and I felt hopeful in 2011 heading into 2012. I had just been to visit my mom, I was trying to improve my marriage and I felt like ok .. I have a plan coming into the new year. The reality of my new year? I was a year into Alanon and I started attending open AA meetings in Jan as well....
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Pushka
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3
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302
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A special Christmas gift.
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I haven't been on for a couple of weeks. My husband went to a few meetings, and then, on December 16th, he went to a football party and drank himself into a stupor. Not only that, but he also drove. I told him the next morning that I was finished with it, and will not tolerate it any longer. ...
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Annie1234
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6
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224
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Research Opportunity
(Preview)
Hello,I am new to this community and conducting a research project on parent-child communication during difficult times. I would greatly appreciate anyone who is interested to complete the surveyat the link below. It should not take more than 20 minutes and is completely anonymous and confiden...
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uniresearch
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2
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212
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Just looking for someone to listen/read.
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I havn't been out to a meeting in awhile with the holidays in full effect. There was a massive snowstorm in my area and my car is burried until tomorrow when I can dig it out Overall the holidays went well. Me and my sister got together with my dad and he lasted the entir...
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slogan_jim
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4
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507
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- turns into a + which now=.
(Preview)
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broken apart
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13
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567
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If I want it different; I have to MAKE it different!
(Preview)
I was just thinking this after the holiday: If I want a change, I have to change the situation. I typically had problems dealing w/ my family again this year. I called them & found myself feeling terrible & very sad. I felt so left out as usual--I live about 900 miles away from them & will prob...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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360
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HP timing is not always what we expect
(Preview)
I've shared that my exH (who was dry for 15 years of marraige and is now developing into a fully wet alcoholic) is very abusive to my 3 boys. Years of court fights ended up with CA going with "access to both parents" over the safety of my children. The abuse destroyed my middle son the most, he...
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AStrongerMe
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3
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260
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