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Its been awhile since I last posted. My AH is still the same. Even tho he is sober he still makes irrational decisions and lies all the time. I have picked up a 2nd job for the holidays and I am saving up my money. I want to trust my AH but I just cant seem too. He left for a few hours and when he came back He said he had gone to go end his relationship with his so called friend. I didnt say anything to him. Their is nothing to say. I havent bothered to be calling him or texting him like I did before. I go to my jobs and just come home to shower and sleep. Im emotionally detaching from him. Before I would be all in tears and severely depressed. Im saving up to move on with my life. I thought that him being sober would solve all our problems but it didn't. Im still in the tornado of lies but now he doesn't lie about the drinking. He lies about finances, women, well basically everything. For now Im taking care if me and my HP will let me know when to take the next step
Sounds like you are doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. Sometimes thats the best we can do. AA says they can recover if they have the capacity for rigorous honesty.
You have a plan and are working towards it. You will know when the time is right, or if the plan needs to change. Detaching and waiting for the right time are good steps. I like the slogan "when in doubt, don't". It tells me to wait for a decision until I have all I need to act, or until I have all the information to make a solid decision. Sounds like that's where you are, too.
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
There is such a difference between sobriety and living sober. Taking care of you is such a great thing! I find that as long as I show up God will come along and show off.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Adding on to what Pushka said, even when alcoholics do get sober, they are operating as like a 2 year old in their moral reasoning and social skills for a good while. That is WITH a program of AA in place. It took me about 2 years sober to start resembling an adult.
