The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Welcome to Miracles in Progress I am so sorry to read that alcoholism is destroying members of your family and your own peace of mind. This is a disease like no other over which we are completely powerless.
I urge you to check out alanon face to face meetings in your community and attend. The main number is listed in the white pages. It is so important to develop a support group who understand as few others can and to break the terrible isolation caused by this disease.
Please keep coming here as well. You are not alone.
-- Edited by hotrod on Tuesday 1st of January 2013 09:27:57 AM
Where to start......My son who is dying from alcholism is breaking my heart and soul.
As I am trying to get these words down tears are streaming.
My son has a 8 year old son who brings light and happiness when he visits to me and my husband. He deserves a happy, wholesome and sober father. My grandson is very sensitive and carries his heart on his sleeve. It crushes me everytime I hear that little boy say "i sure wish you felt better dad". My husband and I always cover and tell my grandson that his dad is sick because my son is hardly ever out of bed.
My son also has Hep C and suffers with seizures when he goes without alchohol. I feel that with the choices he makes to drink everyday without eating or getting up and around will eventually lead to his death. My son has no money or medical insurance. My husband and I both work but due to circumstances we live paycheck to paycheck.
Once my son passes his son will no longer be allowed to visit us. My grandson's mom is very controlling and only by the grace of god and a good lawyer do we see him now. We live in WA state and grandparents do not have right in this state.
My husband is a functioning alchoholic who is the love of my life. We have been married over 30 years. He has had chronic back pain and a job that will fire him if his is to take any form of prescribed pain killers.....alchohol is the only relief he has to get a nights rest. Even then he is tossing and turning with pain all night. He does not go to bars, does not abuse me in anyway. I realize he is a alchoholic just the same but his back pain is agonizing. There is no medical treatment or surgery that won't incapicitate him.
Sometimes ...I selfishly think that for my own survival I will move away and live alone to be free of it all. I just feel so helpless and depressed most of the time.
I'm glad you are here and getting support. I know there is no easy solution to any of these things. I just wanted to say that when a friend had severe and incapacitating, chronic back pain, she got a TENS unit. They deliver electricity to the body which keeps the nerves from feeling pain, as I understand it. She said it saved her life. That's all I know about it, but it might be worth looking into. I know that even if that problem were to be solved tomorrow, you would still have a huge burden to handle. I hope you have face-to-face meetings and maybe a sponsor? These are things no one should have to handle alone. Hugs.
Aloha MOMD and welcome to the board...I ditto what HotRod suggests because that is what worked for me when I thought all was gone and over because of this disease. Yes I thought I was different and therefore wouldn't listen too long to the "others" however it was suggested to me to get into Al-Anon and to sit down and listen to the similarities of the shares in the room along with mine and there I found that I was sitting with Experience Strengths and Hope that I could have also. It worked then and continues to work now. My alcoholic/addict son is clean and sober...My alcoholic/addict ex-wife got clean and sober too and I got my sanity back in Al-Anon. My life is now worth much more than I ever thought it was back then. Keep coming back and join us in recovery. The hotline number for Al-Anon in your area is in the white pages of your local telephone book. ((((hugs))))
Welcome to MIP. I hear and feel the pain you are going thru. I pray you get to Alanon meetings which will help you in every aspect of your life, that I know for sure. My brother had HepC, he had the most virulent kind of the disease and ironically he didn't find out until he had accepted recovery. And he kept his sobriety until he was admitted to the hospice ward. Obviously we weren't able to cure him just as we couldn't cure him from addiction. We are powerless over all others, places and things. We only have power over ourselves. I urge you strongly to find an alanon meeting asap and be open and willing to listen to all you hear and read. Alanon has saved my life and sanity many times over. I can't hear the phrase "functioning alcoholic" without commenting so I will apologize in advance if this angers you. But there is no such thing as a functioning alcoholic. Their are alcoholics who are able to work, maintain friendships etc. but that doesn't make them functional. If they were truly functional they wouldn't need alcohol. I am disabled with a couple of incurable illnesses but I also have 2 blown discs in my neck and 2 in lower back. Pain is my middle name. I have had to buy a bed that allows me to sleep (when I am able to sleep) in the most comfortable position for me. I have used and had success with the TENS unit that someone mentioned above. Their are several ways to manage pain. Alcohol is not pain management. Alanon if you are open and willing will help you not only to understand the addict but to also understand your own behaviors, how you've been affected by addiction and teach you new healthy coping skills. I did not find alanon until I was middle aged and it has saved my life and sanity more times than I can count. Despite my husbands and my attempt to break the addiction cycle with out children our son has become an addict so I completely understand your pain and anguish there. I can't help or cure him either which for so long made me think i must have done something terribly wrong while he was growing up. He & I have had this conversation several times and while he can't or wont't give me an explanation as to why he got into drugs he always assures me he thought he had the best parents out there. It doesn't give me much solace. Please know you are not alone in this struggle. We all support and help each other here sometimes just to make it thru the day. Blessings
Mom, Oh, you have a full plate. You really do. You're not the first person to feel this way. I have often felt in the past that if my alcholics died, my life would be so much better. The challenge of al anon is we learn how to be happy and have our own life no matter what the alcholic decides to do. Have you looked into local meetings in your area? Seeing people face to face and sharing where you're at can be very, very freeing. Additionally, keep in mind the in law is hurting just like you are--and it's easier to take it out on you and the 8 y.o. than on the appropriate person.
You really do. You're not the first person to feel this way. I have often felt in the past that if my alcholics died, my life would be so much better. The challenge of al anon is we learn how to be happy and have our own life no matter what the alcholic decides to do. Have you looked into local meetings in your area? Seeing people face to face and sharing where you're at can be very, very freeing. Additionally, keep in mind the in law is hurting just like you are--and it's easier to take it out on you and the 8 y.o. than on the appropriate person.