The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My 19 yr old is drunk tonight. I've told him he's not staying here. He says he has nowhere to stay and needs to come here. My stomach is in knots. I'm scared to let him in as he can be abusive towards me and my 15yr old and I'm scared to not let him in in case he freezes or disturbs the neighbours who are elderly. Feel pathetic.
Last time I dealt with a situation like this, I handed my A son a blanket & pillow then his Dad handed him a warm plate of food, told him g'nite & shut the door. Let him in the next morning to use the bathroom, get some breakfast & back out on the porch he went - took two days & nights, but he did sober up.
And yes, it did hurt but it put son on the path to sobriety.
Thank you for your prayers, he never came back last night still a bit worried but feels better in daylight.
I need to get rid of resentment for x ah, my son got the money from a Xmas card in his house, I spoke to him on the phone and told him my concerns. He declares undying love for me but he can sit back knowing there could be trouble and knowing I'm fearful.
Well, I think I need to ask god for the courage to change this situation, I accept I can't change him, I've been working on me. Now I need to improve life for myself, my son needs to move out. I need time to recover and concentrate on my program and develop a better, healthier relationship with him. Guilt and worry keeps me from this,my program will help.
Thanks again.
I very much relate to your concern and fears for your son. My son is an addict, not hostile or abusive but after 6 yrs of watching him spiral out of control my husband and I just couldn't watch it anymore. We realized that just putting a roof over his head was enabling him to continue practice his addiction freely. He can't hold down a job and is frequently picked up for public intox. Thankfully he doesn't drive. But if my husband and I had any chance to start living a somewhat normal life again we had to put our son out of the house. We can look back and say we did everything humanly possible to help him find sobriety, including twice getting him in to a sober home. None of it worked. We got calls from him about how cold he was. how hungry he was etc. And while it distressed us terribly we gave him the same answer each time " you know where the shelter is". He refused to go to the shelter to sleep, eat, shower etc until it got really cold. I projected my worst fears constantly of him freezing to death or overdosing but learned when I started to worry to just pray. Right now our son sits in jail, he will be there thru winter. And this is not his 1st time in jail by any means. He has never believed in a higher power but at this time he is asking for books to read on different faiths and spirituality. He has never been open to that before, so I see this as a positive sign. I no longer place any expectations on him or his behavior as that only leads to disappointment. I hope for him and I pray for him. I have faith that my HP (whom I call God) has a plan for my son and our family. I don't know what the plan is as only HP can see the big picture. So I throw myself into my own recovery and I get stronger everyday. And when I slip I know I can pick myself up and start again. We love our son unconditionally nothing would ever change that. But that doesn't mean I must do anything or everything he requests (like moving back home). We must put him in HP's capable hands so that he may find his way in life. Is it hard? Terribly so at times! But this program and the people in it make sure I do not have to carry this burden alone. This program has saved my life and sanity many times over. Which is why I keep coming back. You and your family are in my prayers! Blessings
Thank you for that, it's comforting to know I'm not alone. It's such a sad situation. As mothers we want to provide a safe place for our children to live and I admire your courage to take action. It's so very hard and painful.
