Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

el-cee · el-cee

Sometimes I struggle to have empathy for alcoholics. The damage they cause to their partners and worse, children is shocking. Long lasting damage. They are selfish and self centred at best and aggressive and violent at worst. I mean has anyone actually spelt it out to there a, really told them. I beli...

abbyalana · abbyalana

She is 12. Visitation has been discontinued. His response was to pack up her belongings and drop them on my porch. She is angry. We were never allowed to express emotions with the AH lived with us so expressing any emotion is overwhelming at best. My daughter does know he's an addict and of course sh...

createive · createive

Hi, I new here. I have been with a wonderful man for 3.5 years 1 of which we have been married. When we met he said he didn't drink and had gone to AA 10is years ago. The entire time we have been together he didn't go to meetings and "said" he didn't drink. The entire time I suspected he had one here a...

Sweet Pea · Sweet Pea

Hello! I have been with my significant other for 9 years now and just now trying to find some support. He was a recovering alcoholic and when I came home from work tonight he was drunk. I am usually an optimistic person but tonight I feel very sad and pretty much hopeless. I hope to read many posts to...

kellyblue28 · kellyblue28

Hey everyone, My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for 4 of those years. In September last year I gave birth to our first child who we both immediatly fell in love with. To back up a bit, I'm here because it wasn't untill my child was born, that I realized my husband has an addiction t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everyone I have been on and off these boards for about a year, but the past 2-3 weeks have been attending online meetings and have gone back to a f2f after a long time. I am trying to work through some 'stuck' feelings I have and would love to hear from anyone with similar circumstances... Last 1-2 year...

Beekee · Beekee

Our peak event in our home scared friends we used to associate with, and they uninvited us to their home and have written off my husband. They say that I am ok, but they don't like him. They talk about my husband like he is garbage when he is a man that made a mistake, and they completely forget that he is my...

hopeful4ever · hopeful4ever

I am so nervous. I have not seen my husband in almost 3 months. He is graduating from a rehab this week. I kicked him out before he decided to go in. I really thought I was done dealing with him. I am still hurt by the things he has done to our family but I am having unexpected emotions. I know that my resentme...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

All this last week I had to make the decision about truly letting go..cutting off that last string holding onto my son. It has been very hard for me but Im now doing it. Let Go Let God. Im sure I will mess up from time to time but Im letting go.I finally started working on me and as I think back on my childho...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey Guys, I have been doing a lot of speaking at open Al-Anon meetings over the last year and a bit and it's an experience I really enjoy. It is very rewarding, I feel great after and people always leave feeling better. I always leave feeling better. I feel I have a pretty neat story and have overcome a lot t...

Jackie Z · Jackie Z

I just read an older post from Jerry F about detaching with love...quite powerful. "Love first, Love always." It has helped me so much and given me a sense of peace as I turn my son over to the God of my understanding. Here's the prayer I found online in those deparate times when I would search...

newwoman · newwoman

My love has been in rehab 8 days and I am losing my mind. I feel like a part of me has died. I can't sleep, can't eat, can't stop crying. I am so lost yet was so thrilled he went to rehab now I don't know who I am or how to function. This entire scenerio is so screwed up, I feel so helpless because I don't think I ever...

gardengirl56 · gardengirl56

I recently had a baby, and it the transition into parenthood is difficult with an alcoholic mother. I relate to my mother on an emotional and biological level, and I fear that I will become her as a mother myself. She want to be a part in my child's life but I told her she can't until she seeks help....she...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

Some know I came to this board when I began dating a man who presented himself as a recovering, sober alcoholic. He appeared to be all he said then had a relapse early in our relationship and went to rehab and voluntarily stayed 60 days. What followed next was me getting into Al Anon (best thing I've eve...

jollyman · jollyman

Hi all , guess i just need to vent some frustration like so many others. My beautiful wife has been an alchoholic for around 6 years . Its just getting to much for me now . I really cant bear it any longer . I Love her with all my heart and it makes it all the more worse seeing the woman I married, the mother of o...

Annie1234 · Annie1234

Here's a funny one! I received an email from Web MD that was titled "Signs You Worry Too Much". Does my computer sense my worries? So, I thought I would share where my brain is today. My AH has been sober for 30 days today! He is currently going through the DUI process for a second DUI. Tha...

Gette · Gette

Hi everyone, i'm new here on this forum and have been going to al-anon (fairly consistently) since May 2012. I've gone through so many changes of awareness it's unreal! I've been with my AHB for 5 years; he's been working his AA program for a good 2 yrs but has relapsed every so often. I don't know if its ha...

SaRw · SaRw

My AH checked himself into a treatment facility. His program will end on Tuesday. He is coming home. Up until about 3 months ago, I didn't even know that there was a serious problem. Don't get me wrong, I didn't think we were perfect, but I thought we had more good times than bad. Now he has 28 days of 2...

Fool4You · Fool4You

Hello everyone and thank you for all the wonderful insights and encouragement! I found this site just this past week and it has impacted me immensely. I was married for twenty years to an emotionally abusive man. He's not a drinker and I'm not much of one. I finally had enough when our daughter graduat...

abbyalana · abbyalana

Really. My therapist and I had a great conversation about this topic tonight and it's okay to be angry. I have been through so much and continue to go through so much and being angry is part of the process and it's OK. I have been so angry for weeks on end in awful and heavy flows and started to worry that it wa...

cinders · cinders

I have been doing fairly well with the changes of going from a married woman to a single woman. I have been with my AH for ten years and during that time there were some really good times. We were in love and I think in some ways still are. I am now starting to struggle with the lonliness of it all. I have no...

zanib · zanib

I don't know where to start. Basically, I've been in relationship with a herion addict for almost three years. I didn't even know he had drug problems until almost the second year. I told his family and they had an intervention for him and he went to rehab. He emerged from rehab and seemed to be doing well...

Old Timer · Old Timer

Hello everyone. Greetings to you and best wishes for the coming NewYear! We have had a rough go of several months. I did one positive, I quit a toxic position!:) My family members I am a caregiver for have been in and out of the hospital. I lost a relative thatI was very close to very unexpectedly C...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

Some folks know what's going on with my daughter and us raising her daughter. The daughter lives in Maryland near us, and we have sole custody of the grand daughter because my daughter have her up so she could go back to Michigan to get back into partying. She lasted one day and absolutely HAD to co e right...

whitel6425 · whitel6425

My husband and I have been married for 22 years. He has just finished a detox and has entered a outpatient program. He has always been a drinker,but the past few years has gotten much worse. He was very good at hiding it. I always knew he drank, but had no idea how much. Was I in denial? I am not feeling...

1976love · 1976love

Without being to long I will try to describe my situation. I have an AH who has 2 A brother's and one brother that is married to a recovering addict. That would make her my sister-in-law. I am dealing with my AH fine, who is in his 6th week of recovery. My sister-in-law has been in recovery for well over a yea...

Photomum · Photomum

Hi: I'm new, from england and have never written in one of these forums. My husband is the Alcoholic. We were married 10 years ago. I kind of knew he was a heavy drinker but never realised that over those 10 years, he'd become abusive and start to get so drunk, he would pee his pants. He used to drink sociall...

Katy · Katy

He did come back last evening and demanded to be let in, we didn't, I worried about him all night it was so cold and was snowing, I felt pretty low this morning but being in work was a tonic, I keep thinking about the main reasons I cannot tolerate his bahviours anymore, his drinking comes before everythin...

imom · imom

Okay so I know that I am not the cause of his disease, but it's all I hear. He also keeps telling me how I need a psychiatric evaluation followed by medication. He blames me for his family not talking to him because I told them the things he was doing. My therapist told me that he is doing these things to take t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It never seems to get easier for me to say Goodbye to someone who passes away. I went to a funeral today complete w/ giving of the US flag & Taps which I cried from. There were so many emotional moments because this man was truly loved and very committed to our community. They even named a building afte...

milkwood · milkwood

Hi All, I've been really appreciating this site, thank you. A few weeks ago I was offered a new job and accepted. At the time AH was drinking spirits for breakfast! He has started the new year without any drink, which is great. We have lived with alcohol for nearly ten years and after all the usual ups an...

oldergal · oldergal

My Ason 29 is having marital troubles and probably will be separating real soon. I am sick to my stomach that he may be heading my way for a temporary shelter. He's only been married for 6 months to an incredibly beautiful, and sensitive woman, she is doing her best to work it out with not very much success...

oldergal · oldergal

When they tell you their life is a series of !!!!ups. And that you should have had him aborted before he was born. Just basically down, down in the dumps....how in heaven's name do you respond to that? ESH very welcome. Oldergal

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

Setting boundaries is what this is about. And he crossed the line in a big way. I had been his sponsor for only a week when he confided to me that his live in pregnant girlfriend caught him flirting with women online. He said they had a long talk over it, and things appeared to be returning to normal between...

babsntaz · babsntaz

My husband as in rehab last week after being self admitted. He got out Friday, we went to an AA meeting, meeting saturday and then he went on his own sunday. he has a 15 day permit after a DUI. I went to work yesterday - left him his truck and no money. He had a rough morning and pawned something to get money...

abbyalana · abbyalana

Ive been out of my marriage for almost a year and physically separated for about 8 months. I had a rebound relationship over the summer. Nothing since. I've been on dates, no connections. I am lonely. Friends and family are great but not the same. I just want to have someone to share my time with. I'm okay...

mimisheart · mimisheart

Hello, this is my first post. My daughter is an active alcoholic and just moved herself and her children into my house due to a broken relationship. I have felt for years that she isn't raising them right due to her alcoholism and now I am seeing it in my own home. It pains me to see the children not cared...

tishrijo · tishrijo

Hi everyone. It's been a long time since I've posted. I haven't been absent from Alanon, only from MIP. I've been active in my group for 4 years now, have been a Group Rep for 3 years and participate at the Area level too. Giving back is definitely extremely rewarding and healing. At the same time,...

EXF13 · EXF13

Hi, Does anyone reccomend books to read for people dating alcholics ?

EXF13 · EXF13

My Story, Early 20's Female, nursing grad, 5 months dating Alcoholic, our biggest problem is that I enjoy drinking he doesnt like me to drink, he is jealous, assumptive swears he knows everything and how it is going to happen. For example if I go out one night he basically has a play by play of what is goi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My childhood home sold recently. Sad but good news! I am part of a 6-way sell. That means me & my 5 siblings are getting money from the selling of our house. Now that my dad & my step-mom have died, the house sold very quickly. I am very grateful that I can have money that I can use for good choices. I t...

Katy · Katy

It's been getting worse with our son, the binge drinking has become more frequent, his personal hygene is a constant battle of wills and hes verbally abusive and emotionally very unstable when he is drunk, christmas has been a nightmare of worry and anxiety lack of sleep and generally all round it's s...

Cheri_Swanson · Cheri_Swanson

Hi everyone! I just realized today there is actually an Al Anon site. I have never been to a meeting and plan to go next week to one during my lunch break. As is the case with many family members living with an alcoholic, my AH is tearing me down emotionally and it's beginning to affect me physically beca...

Dietcokeaddict · Dietcokeaddict

I would like to use how music can be healing and therapeutic as topic next month when I chair a meeting would that be okay? Or would it. E crossing a line

el-cee · el-cee

Hi I am in the UK and Im not sure when the meetings are. I think I am 5 hours ahead of you so does this mean the 9 oclock meeting is at 2 am for me?

el-cee · el-cee

A miracle happened tonight. My ex ah came round first contact since Xmas. He is sober since Xmas and is in aa. Anyway, the miracle happened, he apologised to me. He said he realises he has damaged our family and his drinking is the reason he has lost everything. He said he feels guilt and shame for the firs...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My AH of 30 years (we've been separated for that last 1 1/2) died of complications of his alcoholism last night. He was 52 years old, was the father of our three daughters and grandfather of our two young grandsons. I am saddened, yet angry at the same time. The disease won, our family has lost. He died of l...

debhud · debhud

i was talking to my AS the other day. and he came up with this. "mom, if people stopped looking at other peoples lives, maybe they could focus on what makes them happy." that statement was so very meaningful to me. my son is active in his disease and is slowly dying. i am amazed at the peace...

Beekee · Beekee

Hello, I am a newcomer and my husband and I (married 4.5 years) have both been sober since Mar. 9. We stopped drinking after a peak incident that was violent and scary, where my husband became an aggressor and I was agressed on. I wondered if there were any others out there that deal with the judgement o...

radarlv5412 · radarlv5412

I'm new to this site. The past 4 days have been difficult as my boyfriend has been going through w/drawl. Tomorrow he will be entering an inpatient rehab program. However, I am having a difficult time dealing with this emotional roller coaster.

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I have been coming to these boards for over a year now. I have been in Al Anon for almost a year, too. I am currently working with my sponsor on step 4. I am finally learning that it's OK to take care of myself. One of my issues with my AH is that he drives a rental car frequently for work in neighboring state...

AllieinAlanon · AllieinAlanon

I was wondering how you cope between meetings, esp when you are still resisting the alanon way? I just went to an alanon meeting today---it was hard to even go and it was not happening. Instead, there were several ppl there and no one wanted to lead and the rest, incl. me, were new and unqualified to lead...

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

Well, now that I am on my new journey, it has added some awareness for me. The last time I was alone was when my AH was at his 5th rehab. My Mom passed away, two days after he left, and it was a really bad time for me. They say what doesn't kill you, will make you stronger. I have to agree. Over these almost 3...

Jerry F · Jerry F

a share and bears repeating. I asked if I could so this is not pirating of some other members experience and awarness and strength. It was in response to two newbies here and it got the attention of this old timer as something he also needed to hold close to his recovery. It's author is Sweet Stanley.....

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Staying with my parents has been challenging. I can see that their anxiety builds up and they release it on me. They think they don't trust me when really they don't trust each other or themselves. I am in fact the smokescreen for their troubles. Mom looks me right in the face and says things all day that a...

LearningAsIGo · LearningAsIGo

Hello, all. New to the group; first posting. I ran into (subsequently fell in love, got engaged to) an old friend from school. We both have histories; I am a member of NA, recovered and sober for almost three years. He is a recovering alcoholic, sober for over a year, up until 50 days ago. He is 38 and...

SuzanneSC · SuzanneSC

At least when he was drinking I knew what to expect -- nothing. Now he is amazing some days, awful on others. I get sucked into his ridiculousness because he still can't deal with any percieved slight or criticism. He has substituted shopping for drinking, and even uses the same language to justify it....

Abtmc · Abtmc

I listen to him and his promises to change and work on our relationship each and every time he's feeling guilty or scared that Im really going to leave this time. And I buy it. Like a total sucker. I remain so hopeful even though it now takes only about a day or two before I see how it's all bs. That the cycle wi...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

I don't know if anyone on here remembers me, but my ex husband was an alchololic who beat me up, stole all of my family's money, and was horrible. My father was very supportive during this time. However, my dad likes to drink also. My dad has always been very critical of me and cuts me down all them time,...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

I am out of my parent's house and in my own apartment!!!!! I moved out last weekend. It's just me and my 2 tea cup shih tzu "daughters". It is SO peaceful. I come in from work and the house is just like I left it and my stomach isn't in knots wondering how the mood of the home is going to be. The part t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	resentment (Preview) Sometimes I struggle to have empathy for alcoholics. The damage they cause to their partners and worse, children is shocking. Long lasting damage. They are selfish and self centred at best and aggressive and violent at worst. I mean has anyone actually spelt it out to there a, really told them. I beli...	el-cee	6	310	Jan 18, 2013 by Annie1234
	How is my child EVER going to have a relationship with her AH father? (Preview) She is 12. Visitation has been discontinued. His response was to pack up her belongings and drop them on my porch. She is angry. We were never allowed to express emotions with the AH lived with us so expressing any emotion is overwhelming at best. My daughter does know he's an addict and of course sh...	abbyalana	4	260	Jan 18, 2013 by pinkchip
	DH of 3.5 years just admitted he has to go back to AA (Preview) Hi, I new here. I have been with a wonderful man for 3.5 years 1 of which we have been married. When we met he said he didn't drink and had gone to AA 10is years ago. The entire time we have been together he didn't go to meetings and "said" he didn't drink. The entire time I suspected he had one here a...	createive	2	339	Jan 18, 2013 by grateful2be
	Hello I am new here and I just need a hug! (Preview) Hello! I have been with my significant other for 9 years now and just now trying to find some support. He was a recovering alcoholic and when I came home from work tonight he was drunk. I am usually an optimistic person but tonight I feel very sad and pretty much hopeless. I hope to read many posts to...	Sweet Pea	13	528	Jan 18, 2013 by Sweet Pea
	Left with child (Preview) Hey everyone, My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for 4 of those years. In September last year I gave birth to our first child who we both immediatly fell in love with. To back up a bit, I'm here because it wasn't untill my child was born, that I realized my husband has an addiction t...	kellyblue28	3	300	Jan 18, 2013 by Sweet Pea
	anyone who has gone through separation? (Preview) Hi Everyone I have been on and off these boards for about a year, but the past 2-3 weeks have been attending online meetings and have gone back to a f2f after a long time. I am trying to work through some 'stuck' feelings I have and would love to hear from anyone with similar circumstances... Last 1-2 year...	yanksfan51	4	319	Jan 18, 2013 by Ms S
	Rebuilding friendships (Preview) Our peak event in our home scared friends we used to associate with, and they uninvited us to their home and have written off my husband. They say that I am ok, but they don't like him. They talk about my husband like he is garbage when he is a man that made a mistake, and they completely forget that he is my...	Beekee	4	242	Jan 18, 2013 by Fool4You
	Husband getting out of rehab (Preview) I am so nervous. I have not seen my husband in almost 3 months. He is graduating from a rehab this week. I kicked him out before he decided to go in. I really thought I was done dealing with him. I am still hurt by the things he has done to our family but I am having unexpected emotions. I know that my resentme...	hopeful4ever	9	325	Jan 18, 2013 by orchidlover
	Moving forward (Preview) All this last week I had to make the decision about truly letting go..cutting off that last string holding onto my son. It has been very hard for me but Im now doing it. Let Go Let God. Im sure I will mess up from time to time but Im letting go.I finally started working on me and as I think back on my childho...	Cathyinaz	4	258	Jan 18, 2013 by orchidlover
	Speaking (share) (Preview) Hey Guys, I have been doing a lot of speaking at open Al-Anon meetings over the last year and a bit and it's an experience I really enjoy. It is very rewarding, I feel great after and people always leave feeling better. I always leave feeling better. I feel I have a pretty neat story and have overcome a lot t...	slogan_jim	3	225	Jan 18, 2013 by slogan_jim
	A Prayer for my son who has Relapsed (Preview) I just read an older post from Jerry F about detaching with love...quite powerful. "Love first, Love always." It has helped me so much and given me a sense of peace as I turn my son over to the God of my understanding. Here's the prayer I found online in those deparate times when I would search...	Jackie Z	4	469	Jan 17, 2013 by Sweet Stanley
	Help! A Newbie Who is Lost! (Preview) My love has been in rehab 8 days and I am losing my mind. I feel like a part of me has died. I can't sleep, can't eat, can't stop crying. I am so lost yet was so thrilled he went to rehab now I don't know who I am or how to function. This entire scenerio is so screwed up, I feel so helpless because I don't think I ever...	newwoman	9	275	Jan 17, 2013 by milkwood
	ACOA and now a parent (Preview) I recently had a baby, and it the transition into parenthood is difficult with an alcoholic mother. I relate to my mother on an emotional and biological level, and I fear that I will become her as a mother myself. She want to be a part in my child's life but I told her she can't until she seeks help....she...	gardengirl56	1	211	Jan 17, 2013 by hotrod
	The far reaching effects of this disease are... yeah baffling (Preview) Some know I came to this board when I began dating a man who presented himself as a recovering, sober alcoholic. He appeared to be all he said then had a relapse early in our relationship and went to rehab and voluntarily stayed 60 days. What followed next was me getting into Al Anon (best thing I've eve...	AStrongerMe	2	270	Jan 17, 2013 by tortuga
	Want my wife back (Preview) Hi all , guess i just need to vent some frustration like so many others. My beautiful wife has been an alchoholic for around 6 years . Its just getting to much for me now . I really cant bear it any longer . I Love her with all my heart and it makes it all the more worse seeing the woman I married, the mother of o...	jollyman	7	403	Jan 17, 2013 by Enabler2013
	Signs you worry too much! (Preview) Here's a funny one! I received an email from Web MD that was titled "Signs You Worry Too Much". Does my computer sense my worries? So, I thought I would share where my brain is today. My AH has been sober for 30 days today! He is currently going through the DUI process for a second DUI. Tha...	Annie1234	2	272	Jan 17, 2013 by Annie1234
	anxiety, thoughts, feelings, confusion - maybe too much thinking? (Preview) Hi everyone, i'm new here on this forum and have been going to al-anon (fairly consistently) since May 2012. I've gone through so many changes of awareness it's unreal! I've been with my AHB for 5 years; he's been working his AA program for a good 2 yrs but has relapsed every so often. I don't know if its ha...	Gette	14	583	Jan 17, 2013 by Jerry F
	Now what? (Preview) My AH checked himself into a treatment facility. His program will end on Tuesday. He is coming home. Up until about 3 months ago, I didn't even know that there was a serious problem. Don't get me wrong, I didn't think we were perfect, but I thought we had more good times than bad. Now he has 28 days of 2...	SaRw	5	259	Jan 17, 2013 by hotrod
	This is my story (Preview) Hello everyone and thank you for all the wonderful insights and encouragement! I found this site just this past week and it has impacted me immensely. I was married for twenty years to an emotionally abusive man. He's not a drinker and I'm not much of one. I finally had enough when our daughter graduat...	Fool4You	5	377	Jan 17, 2013 by el-cee
	It's okay to be angry (Preview) Really. My therapist and I had a great conversation about this topic tonight and it's okay to be angry. I have been through so much and continue to go through so much and being angry is part of the process and it's OK. I have been so angry for weeks on end in awful and heavy flows and started to worry that it wa...	abbyalana	6	390	Jan 16, 2013 by Sweet Stanley
	How do you cope with lonely? (Preview) I have been doing fairly well with the changes of going from a married woman to a single woman. I have been with my AH for ten years and during that time there were some really good times. We were in love and I think in some ways still are. I am now starting to struggle with the lonliness of it all. I have no...	cinders	8	301	Jan 16, 2013 by abbyalana
	Frustrated and New (Preview) I don't know where to start. Basically, I've been in relationship with a herion addict for almost three years. I didn't even know he had drug problems until almost the second year. I told his family and they had an intervention for him and he went to rehab. He emerged from rehab and seemed to be doing well...	zanib	2	244	Jan 16, 2013 by milkwood
	How important is feeing safe? (Preview) Hello everyone. Greetings to you and best wishes for the coming NewYear! We have had a rough go of several months. I did one positive, I quit a toxic position!:) My family members I am a caregiver for have been in and out of the hospital. I lost a relative thatI was very close to very unexpectedly C...	Old Timer	4	300	Jan 16, 2013 by milkwood
	Not very good at the boundaries thingy (Preview) Some folks know what's going on with my daughter and us raising her daughter. The daughter lives in Maryland near us, and we have sole custody of the grand daughter because my daughter have her up so she could go back to Michigan to get back into partying. She lasted one day and absolutely HAD to co e right...	AlAnonDave	6	280	Jan 16, 2013 by Breakingfree
	New to this site (Preview) My husband and I have been married for 22 years. He has just finished a detox and has entered a outpatient program. He has always been a drinker,but the past few years has gotten much worse. He was very good at hiding it. I always knew he drank, but had no idea how much. Was I in denial? I am not feeling...	whitel6425	1	223	Jan 16, 2013 by hotrod
	they are all around me. (Preview) Without being to long I will try to describe my situation. I have an AH who has 2 A brother's and one brother that is married to a recovering addict. That would make her my sister-in-law. I am dealing with my AH fine, who is in his 6th week of recovery. My sister-in-law has been in recovery for well over a yea...	1976love	1	322	Jan 16, 2013 by orchidlover
	My babies & Sanity - New to this ... (Preview) Hi: I'm new, from england and have never written in one of these forums. My husband is the Alcoholic. We were married 10 years ago. I kind of knew he was a heavy drinker but never realised that over those 10 years, he'd become abusive and start to get so drunk, he would pee his pants. He used to drink sociall...	Photomum	9	265	Jan 16, 2013 by AStrongerMe
	Our son has been out of the house one night! (Preview) He did come back last evening and demanded to be let in, we didn't, I worried about him all night it was so cold and was snowing, I felt pretty low this morning but being in work was a tonic, I keep thinking about the main reasons I cannot tolerate his bahviours anymore, his drinking comes before everythin...	Katy	3	245	Jan 16, 2013 by AStrongerMe
	Tired of feeling crazy (Preview) Okay so I know that I am not the cause of his disease, but it's all I hear. He also keeps telling me how I need a psychiatric evaluation followed by medication. He blames me for his family not talking to him because I told them the things he was doing. My therapist told me that he is doing these things to take t...	imom	9	311	Jan 16, 2013 by SuzanneSC
	it never gets easier; really. (Preview) It never seems to get easier for me to say Goodbye to someone who passes away. I went to a funeral today complete w/ giving of the US flag & Taps which I cried from. There were so many emotional moments because this man was truly loved and very committed to our community. They even named a building afte...	Hoot Nanny	1	240	Jan 16, 2013 by hotrod
	A bit nervous... (Preview) Hi All, I've been really appreciating this site, thank you. A few weeks ago I was offered a new job and accepted. At the time AH was drinking spirits for breakfast! He has started the new year without any drink, which is great. We have lived with alcohol for nearly ten years and after all the usual ups an...	milkwood	7	287	Jan 15, 2013 by milkwood
	LEARNED TODAY (Preview) My Ason 29 is having marital troubles and probably will be separating real soon. I am sick to my stomach that he may be heading my way for a temporary shelter. He's only been married for 6 months to an incredibly beautiful, and sensitive woman, she is doing her best to work it out with not very much success...	oldergal	4	275	Jan 15, 2013 by pinkchip
	WHATS AN ALCOHOLIC LOOKING FOR WHEN... (Preview) When they tell you their life is a series of !!!!ups. And that you should have had him aborted before he was born. Just basically down, down in the dumps....how in heaven's name do you respond to that? ESH very welcome. Oldergal	oldergal	6	376	Jan 15, 2013 by pinkchip
	I had to let my AA sponsee go yesterday (Preview) Setting boundaries is what this is about. And he crossed the line in a big way. I had been his sponsor for only a week when he confided to me that his live in pregnant girlfriend caught him flirting with women online. He said they had a long talk over it, and things appeared to be returning to normal between...	AlAnonDave	9	1169	Jan 15, 2013 by Pushka
	I dont know options... (Preview) My husband as in rehab last week after being self admitted. He got out Friday, we went to an AA meeting, meeting saturday and then he went on his own sunday. he has a 15 day permit after a DUI. I went to work yesterday - left him his truck and no money. He had a rough morning and pawned something to get money...	babsntaz	1	200	Jan 15, 2013 by Pushka
	I am lonely (Preview) Ive been out of my marriage for almost a year and physically separated for about 8 months. I had a rebound relationship over the summer. Nothing since. I've been on dates, no connections. I am lonely. Friends and family are great but not the same. I just want to have someone to share my time with. I'm okay...	abbyalana	6	286	Jan 15, 2013 by hdftby100
	alcholic daughter with children (Preview) Hello, this is my first post. My daughter is an active alcoholic and just moved herself and her children into my house due to a broken relationship. I have felt for years that she isn't raising them right due to her alcoholism and now I am seeing it in my own home. It pains me to see the children not cared...	mimisheart	2	252	Jan 15, 2013 by hotrod
	Letting feelings get in my way (Preview) Hi everyone. It's been a long time since I've posted. I haven't been absent from Alanon, only from MIP. I've been active in my group for 4 years now, have been a Group Rep for 3 years and participate at the Area level too. Giving back is definitely extremely rewarding and healing. At the same time,...	tishrijo	3	241	Jan 15, 2013 by Jerry F
	Dating an AH Books books dating (Preview) Hi, Does anyone reccomend books to read for people dating alcholics ?	EXF13	4	267	Jan 15, 2013 by imom
	Will he ever trust me ? dating trust issues jealousy (Preview) My Story, Early 20's Female, nursing grad, 5 months dating Alcoholic, our biggest problem is that I enjoy drinking he doesnt like me to drink, he is jealous, assumptive swears he knows everything and how it is going to happen. For example if I go out one night he basically has a play by play of what is goi...	EXF13	9	434	Jan 15, 2013 by orchidlover
	house sold what next? (Preview) My childhood home sold recently. Sad but good news! I am part of a 6-way sell. That means me & my 5 siblings are getting money from the selling of our house. Now that my dad & my step-mom have died, the house sold very quickly. I am very grateful that I can have money that I can use for good choices. I t...	Hoot Nanny	1	277	Jan 15, 2013 by AStrongerMe
	Why do I still do the same things and exspect different results? (Preview) It's been getting worse with our son, the binge drinking has become more frequent, his personal hygene is a constant battle of wills and hes verbally abusive and emotionally very unstable when he is drunk, christmas has been a nightmare of worry and anxiety lack of sleep and generally all round it's s...	Katy	5	332	Jan 15, 2013 by el-cee
	New member with no one else to confide in.... (Preview) Hi everyone! I just realized today there is actually an Al Anon site. I have never been to a meeting and plan to go next week to one during my lunch break. As is the case with many family members living with an alcoholic, my AH is tearing me down emotionally and it's beginning to affect me physically beca...	Cheri_Swanson	14	773	Jan 15, 2013 by canadianguy
	Topics for chairing a meeting (Preview) I would like to use how music can be healing and therapeutic as topic next month when I chair a meeting would that be okay? Or would it. E crossing a line	Dietcokeaddict	7	8077	Jan 15, 2013 by Dietcokeaddict
	meetings (Preview) Hi I am in the UK and Im not sure when the meetings are. I think I am 5 hours ahead of you so does this mean the 9 oclock meeting is at 2 am for me?	el-cee	2	250	Jan 15, 2013 by el-cee
	making amends (Preview) A miracle happened tonight. My ex ah came round first contact since Xmas. He is sober since Xmas and is in aa. Anyway, the miracle happened, he apologised to me. He said he realises he has damaged our family and his drinking is the reason he has lost everything. He said he feels guilt and shame for the firs...	el-cee	8	274	Jan 15, 2013 by el-cee
	This Horrible Disease Took Away My AH Last Night (Preview) My AH of 30 years (we've been separated for that last 1 1/2) died of complications of his alcoholism last night. He was 52 years old, was the father of our three daughters and grandfather of our two young grandsons. I am saddened, yet angry at the same time. The disease won, our family has lost. He died of l...	Green Eyes	37	770	Jan 14, 2013 by AStrongerMe
	AWESOME thought from my AS! (Preview) i was talking to my AS the other day. and he came up with this. "mom, if people stopped looking at other peoples lives, maybe they could focus on what makes them happy." that statement was so very meaningful to me. my son is active in his disease and is slowly dying. i am amazed at the peace...	debhud	1	247	Jan 14, 2013 by hotrod
	Newcomer: staying w husband after peak event staying with husband judgement (Preview) Hello, I am a newcomer and my husband and I (married 4.5 years) have both been sober since Mar. 9. We stopped drinking after a peak incident that was violent and scary, where my husband became an aggressor and I was agressed on. I wondered if there were any others out there that deal with the judgement o...	Beekee	7	442	Jan 14, 2013 by Beekee
	loved one going through w/drawl (Preview) I'm new to this site. The past 4 days have been difficult as my boyfriend has been going through w/drawl. Tomorrow he will be entering an inpatient rehab program. However, I am having a difficult time dealing with this emotional roller coaster.	radarlv5412	5	337	Jan 14, 2013 by AlAnonDave
	Considering legal separation (Preview) I have been coming to these boards for over a year now. I have been in Al Anon for almost a year, too. I am currently working with my sponsor on step 4. I am finally learning that it's OK to take care of myself. One of my issues with my AH is that he drives a rental car frequently for work in neighboring state...	ilovedogs	4	528	Jan 14, 2013 by Mattie
	between meetings... (Preview) I was wondering how you cope between meetings, esp when you are still resisting the alanon way? I just went to an alanon meeting today---it was hard to even go and it was not happening. Instead, there were several ppl there and no one wanted to lead and the rest, incl. me, were new and unqualified to lead...	AllieinAlanon	2	235	Jan 14, 2013 by hotrod
	Being Alone (Preview) Well, now that I am on my new journey, it has added some awareness for me. The last time I was alone was when my AH was at his 5th rehab. My Mom passed away, two days after he left, and it was a really bad time for me. They say what doesn't kill you, will make you stronger. I have to agree. Over these almost 3...	Sweet Stanley	4	366	Jan 14, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	This is sooo important (Preview) a share and bears repeating. I asked if I could so this is not pirating of some other members experience and awarness and strength. It was in response to two newbies here and it got the attention of this old timer as something he also needed to hold close to his recovery. It's author is Sweet Stanley.....	Jerry F	2	402	Jan 14, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Living with Sick Parents (Preview) Staying with my parents has been challenging. I can see that their anxiety builds up and they release it on me. They think they don't trust me when really they don't trust each other or themselves. I am in fact the smokescreen for their troubles. Mom looks me right in the face and says things all day that a...	WorkingThroughIt	5	294	Jan 14, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	New to Al-Anon, recovered addict, finding myself on THIS side of sobriety, loving and being engaged to an alcoholic (Preview) Hello, all. New to the group; first posting. I ran into (subsequently fell in love, got engaged to) an old friend from school. We both have histories; I am a member of NA, recovered and sober for almost three years. He is a recovering alcoholic, sober for over a year, up until 50 days ago. He is 38 and...	LearningAsIGo	4	288	Jan 13, 2013 by LearningAsIGo
	Recovery is harder in some ways...I'm more miserable than ever (Preview) At least when he was drinking I knew what to expect -- nothing. Now he is amazing some days, awful on others. I get sucked into his ridiculousness because he still can't deal with any percieved slight or criticism. He has substituted shopping for drinking, and even uses the same language to justify it....	SuzanneSC	10	458	Jan 13, 2013 by Debilyn
	Still naive and hopeful (Preview) I listen to him and his promises to change and work on our relationship each and every time he's feeling guilty or scared that Im really going to leave this time. And I buy it. Like a total sucker. I remain so hopeful even though it now takes only about a day or two before I see how it's all bs. That the cycle wi...	Abtmc	4	292	Jan 13, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Father (Preview) I don't know if anyone on here remembers me, but my ex husband was an alchololic who beat me up, stole all of my family's money, and was horrible. My father was very supportive during this time. However, my dad likes to drink also. My dad has always been very critical of me and cuts me down all them time,...	ttpurtee	3	268	Jan 13, 2013 by el-cee
	"I Kinda Like It In My Brand New Place" (Preview) I am out of my parent's house and in my own apartment!!!!! I moved out last weekend. It's just me and my 2 tea cup shih tzu "daughters". It is SO peaceful. I come in from work and the house is just like I left it and my stomach isn't in knots wondering how the mood of the home is going to be. The part t...	WornOutMrsFixIt	7	356	Jan 13, 2013 by pinkchip
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.