The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Without being to long I will try to describe my situation. I have an AH who has 2 A brother's and one brother that is married to a recovering addict. That would make her my sister-in-law. I am dealing with my AH fine, who is in his 6th week of recovery. My sister-in-law has been in recovery for well over a year, but she is VERY difficult to be around. First thing is she stole from our house at the height of her addiction. Now that she has been clean my husband still hates her. (yes, I mean hates her) We both have kids that are 3 months apart and they adore each other. I keep the peace for the family's sake but swallow my pride alot. She is the most self absorbed person I know. Everything is all about her. Even before she went to rehab she has been like this, somewhat of a narcissist. Now she has no job and her husband has told her to send their son to the same school my child goes to. She shows up late, is late picking him up, comes to school freshly tanned, fake eyelashes, new car that her husband bought her for being good...Sometimes it's hard to focus on myself when I'm around her. Even though she isn't using anymore she is still the same person she was to begin with just minus the drugs. It bothers me, I know when she stole from us it was her addiction but the way she makes her kids seem like an inconvienance really is upsetting. I try to tell myself it's her...focus on you, but today I am having trouble. She even once said to me she liked being in rehab because she could at least sleep without the kids waking her up...ugg, just having a moment...hopefully soon it will pass?
I can relate very much to finding certain people very irritating.
In al anon we can learn to detach. In addition we can learn where to go for our emotional support. My family is completely unavailable emotionally so I have had to learn to go elsewhere to get support.
I can imagine it is very difficult to be around a mother who is narcisstic and who is flippant about rehab. I would imagine that rehab is pretty difficult for an alcoholic/addict so some of their defenses might be to minimize it.
I am so glad that your children can bond with others and have a life of their own. So many children of alcoholics do not get to have a childhood at all.
