The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Ive been out of my marriage for almost a year and physically separated for about 8 months. I had a rebound relationship over the summer. Nothing since. I've been on dates, no connections. I am lonely. Friends and family are great but not the same. I just want to have someone to share my time with. I'm okay with focusing on me and my child but it's not enough at the end of the day. I don't meet many people outside of work in spite of trying (hiking groups, single parent groups, etc.) and tend to be a homebody. I know there's no quick fix but thought I'd share. I guess I'm just feeling extra lonely today. Wanting healthy adult companionship and striking out at the moment.
(((Hugs to you))) Everybody gets lonely at times. It sounds like you have taken some steps to get out. Are there any other things that you could get involved in? Maybe church and church activities? I try to stay busy... that helps me. I will admit that I do have periods of loneliness. I try not to dwell on it. Pick up the phone... come here. Keep trying.... Hang in there. Spring is going to be coming!! This is a hard time of year!
I knew what that was like once and it lasted until I learned that I was never alone...My HP had and was always with me and then I learned how to love myself unconditionally and then never "needed" anyone after that. It was a stunning higher level of recovery. Today with the fellowship and with MIP and the people at work I've got a huge family and they all have their homes to go to and not come mess around and make noises at mine. I also don't go stay with them and do the same thing. I am enough and where I am at and what I do with and in it is fulfilling. My wife feels the same way. (((hugs)))
(((abbyalana))) I hear you and I used to feel the way you do...and it still gets to me sometimes. But Jerry is right 'one is never alone'. The thing I am finally learning in recovery ( in never thought possible before, being the codependent I am ) is to have a fulfilling relationship with myself. I am learning to be my best partner, best support, best friend, best lover...daaa, yeah well, I know what you mean with companionship also. we are human. but lets face it, even f we are in a crowd, in a family group, in a friends party, on a great holiday...if we are not happy with ourselves, we are not happy even if we are not alone...same is for relationships. I used to get so frustrated when I was looking for love outside. And then I started finding it inside and it is such a good feeling, nowhere to run, nowhere to seek, it's all there , literally at my feet...i just have to get used to it. And I believe, that when we find that love, that we are shining. And if we are shining, we are not invisible to other people. And that sensation kills loneliness forever. I am learning to shine....it takes time, but it's worth every investment...i believe. It's good you are here.
I think it was just a tough day. It's winter - not my easiest time of the year. My friends/family were busy this weekend and I was caring for my 5&3 niece and nephew - so housebound for the most part. I think I just needed some adult conversation. I ended up going over my neighbors (my daughter babysat for 2 hours) and chatted. I felt better after that! I was doing plenty around the house but I think being in the house for so long (and my niece was sick too) just had me a little down.
Thank you all for the positive thoughts and kind words.
Abby, I'm glad you visited with your neighbor. As much as I love my husband, and love my HP, there are just times when you need to talk to someone who has skin...just to gab and forget about your troubles. It's good that you recognized what you needed and you found a way to help. I, too, get so gloomy with the winter months. Someone at church talked about it yesterday. The Christmas season/celebration time is over. The weather is grey and dreary. Everyone is getting sick. No wonder we feel blue and lonely!!!
Best piece of advice I ever got in counseling was that you can never truly be happy being with someone else until you are happy being with just yourself. I have found this to be SO true. Hang in there. One day at a time.
