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Now I say this .. LOL .. and let's hope it is so! No really I can't see any way this can be delayed anymore outside of him firing his atty or vise versa .. so we will see. I am saddened that it has had to come to this. My new atty is a lady and I really like her. I know .. LOL .. I said that about the last guy, .. she's doing things very differently. I like that a lot. Having to let go of the last atty and it costing more money, .. which I am still getting out of someone else, i don't care which someone else .. however someone else is going to give me money back, it was a God thing and I am grateful it happened. I can now see that I was completely thrown under the bus by the last atty and there was already a deal in the works between the two atty's. God was good to me in allowing me to see the information I needed when I needed it.
The STBAX from what I can tell has seriously painted himself into a corner and I mean to tell you he doesn't like the color although from the looks of things it's grown on him. He still doesn't like it. I'm watching with that whole this is a train wreck and the only thing left to do is watch it happen .. I have done everything I can to prevent it. It didn't work out so well for me .. now I have to stand bac k and let it all happened.
I'm in the whole it doesn't matter what the atty's say, what I say, what the STBAX says it only matters what the judge says. I have done all of the footwork I can possibly do without imposing my will the only thing left is to allow God to show up and show off. I have really been praying that whatever happens today that it be for the highest good of all concerned and since I don't know what my STBAX HP's plan is for him, I do pray this puts him on a path to his own recovery. As far as the kids and I go .. God has this and no matter what God is in control. We are going to be ok .. that I have no doubt.
Say a prayer my friends and I hope that this is the last court date for a LONG while to come. I have really been so blessed and as hard as things have been it's been way ok.
Hugs P :)
PS - I'm a college student again .. woo hoooooo!!! Taking a virtual class of English 101. Very excited!!!
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I am lifting up prayers that God's will be done, and that everyone involved continues to heal beyond today. You have a great attitude towards all of this. Congrats on continuing her education!!!
Court was amazing .. as always, I appreciate the system, don't appreciate how flipping slow it all is.
I always and I do mean always forget how sick he is until I have to deal with him on a face to face issue. I have detached probably not in a healthy way, I absolutely refuse to engage him in a person to person way. I will text that is the extent and truthfully that is on my terms. I am DONE with the games. I am DONE with the crap about his control. Right now .. I am DONE being a door mat which means I am in scrapping mode.
A few shocking (not) things .. what do you know he has purposefully not disclosed information to his atty. WOW .. what a shocker (not). He has withheld very vital information. Thankfully I have a more than a few angels out there .. LOL. So it all worked out. You know an atty is embarrassed when they start in saying to your atty .. I didn't know this .. I didn't know that .. how come you know this and I don't? Umm .. because this is the same guy you said wasn't an addict and my daughter was a liar remember that? Hmmm .. wonder how he is feeling right about now about that? I did get a couple of upper cuts in and YES .. darn it .. I did feel good! As I watched my program sail out the window of the 3rd story. Let's see .. his atty .. of course he'll pay (when asked if he will do direct pay until the garnishment kicks in), he can't not pay. To which my response was .. I'm sorry I thought that was why we were here in the first place AND I haven't seen a DIME this year yet! ROFL .. yes my atty jumped in and smoothed some feathers .. well guess what .. it's Friday 345pm and there is NO direct pay happening in my accout. Soooooo hmmm .. his atty backed him up .. his atty sat and asked him in front of the judge if this would be an issue AND he said no problem .. UGH .. welllll .. hmmm .. makes me wonder how much of an issue it really is at this point. I mean I seriously doubt he really has any money at this point. I'm being told he'll pay me Tuesday .. yeah right .. there is already a contempt charge that will be filed ASAP on Tuesday. I feel angry that I keep having to do this just to get what the kids should have .. I do not feel badly about what happened with the tax money and that is I literally moved it all, thankfullly this all happened in the middle of changing atty's as soon as I got a new atty I gave her all of the money. I'm not completely without funds, that's another story. For me this is not a repeat of May/June of last year thank you thank you thank you!! Everything went just like I thought it would, except because of his lack of follow through guess what .. we have to have another court date .. I'm like OMGosh seriously!? For more than one charge again. It's like good grief .. keep digging the hole. He is in so deep it is scary really. I figure jail is coming which will suck .. it's going to be what it's going to be. In that regard I really feel sorry for him. He is the victim of course never mind he set all of this in motion and it didn't have to be this way. Now his atty is getting a full dose of STBAX .. seriously .. it is amazing to me that he continues to be a jackwagon.
Honestly I am sick to death of doing the right thing to see zero in my bank account. OHHHHH .. I have REALLY exciting news that I couldn't share however the cat should be out of the bag at this point. I have a job!!!! I've actually been working since October. It's a great job working with individuals with special needs/disabilities .. I love it!! I'm the receptionist and it has been a life saving job for me. It's the best job I've ever worked as far as people, personalities .. I feel like I matter and make a difference. It fits my big personality. :) The best part about this job is what I learn on a daily basis. I mean that with all sincerity too. I have learned more about humility, peace, gratitude, unconditional love, what it means to realize how truly blessed my life is, my issues whatever they are .. not to minimize .. they will resolve themselves at some point. I'm learning to give from my heart to others which I didn't know how to do before, .. not really. Ohhh my intuition has come back in ways that boggle my mind. I'm really trusting myself. It's not easy to feel like a beaten dog from time to time.
I've had to be on the down/low with it only because I know stuff is being repeated back to the STBAX. I just posted about being a college student and last night he's asking the kids if I'm going to school and is shocked to hear I am. I had shared on FB. Why he cares about what I'm doing I do not understand I only know I am moving further and further away from the insanity that is him.
There are lots of big/little goals I have going on right now as I accomplish them I will share. The school thing is pretty big. In fact I will spend my evening in front of a fire doing my homework and that will be a nice quiet evening for me. I have a ton of house work to do and that's ok too. The kids asked me today if they could come home early on Sunday. They don't like staying until 5pm on Sunday's and that's ok with me. I'm sure it will be fine with him too.
Last night I took the kids to a play someone from work was in. It was GREAT!! Sooo much fun!! I love theater. After today it really reminded me why I have had to let him go. I mean beyond the he didn't want to be with me stuff .. I mean I deserve so much better than what he has to offer. All I can think is how stupid these other women he's involved with are .. it really blows my mind. I know if he's lying to me, he's lying to the judge, he's lying to his atty, his lying to the kids, he's lying to his mother, he's lying to his s/mom .. he just lies to everyone .. he's in the thick of his disease. I do feel sorry for him. It's a shame he has to continue to do these kinds of things to himself, mostly to the kids though .. when he hurts me in this way which is all he seems to see or think about .. he hurts them. After all who is the one who is continuing to keep a roof over our heads ..yes his money helps .. and I am grateful for it .. seriously .. I pay my bills .. unlike him who continues to choose not to. Obviously. I do wonder (and it's not my business) i still wonder though, how much is he into his atty. He has to be in big at this point.
The tax money has not been decided on and the way it is worked out at this point he's not going to see a lot of it especially if he continues to do what he's doing .. I really feel very very sorry for him. It looks like he's going to be needing another job .. I dont' mean that in a funny way either. It's in a serious way because he's not going to make it. This also terminates any way of him moving out. I wonder what his girlfriend thinks of him living at home with his mom? WOW!
Anyway, I'm so grateful to be moving in a more positive direction. I have coffee (which I can't drink now .. LOL!) date tomorrow morning .. I love that AA group. So I will do that we go to breakfast usually after meeting. So much fun!! It is amazing this wonderful life I'm leading now and all of the positive things I get to do. I'm so grateful for it all.
What a change from this time last year, .. well a year now coming up 1/28 .. it's amazing that just a year ago where I was at and look at me now, my wings were clipped not broken.
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
