Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

gorby928 · gorby928

Hi all Well my AW kicked off again on Sunday,she went into total meltdown while the kids where still up.I tried to get her to stop as I hate the kids to see her like that but I was talking to the wall.I remembered the steps and tried with all my heart to stay calm but when she kept on screaming at me over and over...

rehprof · rehprof

So the exA called me tonight to tell me how concerned he is about our kids...playing too many video games, and my 16 yo not doing well in school. The exA is telling me all these things I need to do...and that it's probably "too late" to turn things around for my 16yo. He says "you are so bus...

NicoleDiver · NicoleDiver

And so that's it. But I still feel like it's out of my control how soon all this ends. Tuesday morning I called his probation officer's boss and told her everything. Just the right time apparently. Unfortunately his probation officer actually died 3 weeks ago. So he was going to be reassigned an...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am struggling w/ being patient & compassionate. I just want it to happen now--whatever it is! I am having a pretty good day today. I need a nap, though. I have been struggling w/ yesterday's reading in Hope for Today. It was talking about having compassion for others. My mom is my toughest one. Tha...

tortuga · tortuga

I noticed that my trust got hurt the most in my history with the A. trust in myself and my 'judgments' of situations and people, and trust in others not to hurt me. it has a lot to do with my expectations. I somewhat expected heathy nehavior from unhealthy people, including myself. Well, than life opene...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Today was his trial date. The case was dismissed, after both he and I spoke with the prosecutor (individually), and I also spoke with the court advocate. I could have shared lots of information about his alcoholism, and insisted that he be sentenced to a court-ordered treatment program. (This was ad...

sweeetr · sweeetr

One of my books .. Think it was getting them sober... Talks about living your own life and I kind of have. I've been doin my sons baseball practices. And helping update an older home my daughter just bought. Which I've stayed at twice when my ah pulled drunk nights and I just didn't wanna deal with it. An...

forestfairy · forestfairy

So when I started this journey to make myself better, I had no idea it would make things so much harder. I thought I would change and he would just magically change . . . I thought it would shift the balance and if I was saner, he would be saner. Not yet. So I'm listening to people say: look after yourself, m...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

My mom and I had a pretty good carthartic talk tonight... I told her I was sorry for the regretful things that I had said to her because I was so upset and angry over her drinking. Is this one of the Twelve Steps? making amends? she asked me if I thought she had gotten better I said yes and no. She's going bac...

Temple · Temple

I loved this video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9G3xufj3Z4

DavidG · DavidG

Things are going okay at the moment. In my home Alanon group I felt we needed to have a business and consciance meeting, fairly regularly.When my turn to chair a meeting came around, I bought this up. it seemed to bring up a lof of conflict. I was frightened of losing the group- or rather losing my respec...

Clueless Optimist · Clueless Optimist

Okay, how can we help an addict to stop with being so negative? AH is in treatment right now and in some days, he seems fine but in some days, he's so negative about everything. He keeps thinking he's really ruined and there's no cure and there's no hope. He goes to his outpatient addictions treatment cl...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

A week from this Thursday, we are having family friends visit us from FL. As if there isn't enough tension in the house already between my mom and dad....now we have company coming...should we pretend like nothing is wrong with my mom or should we have an intervention of sorts...from my experience wit...

Pushka · Pushka

Believe them. I have spent soooo much time believing what someone tells me that when they show me who they are I can't wrap my pea brain around the fact they are probably being honest about their actions vs their words. I have had a good laugh at myself over the past couple of days. One of them is the fact...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Its so neat hearing cows, goats, horses, my guineas love it. feels like eden again. OH and wild ducks in the pond!i Um brought in some straw for the guinea pigs, Augy pig thought it was for him...August Ronan McPhate. tory is the horse. The gal tried to help her but its too much. So she is mine. Dickens the p...

lnc12 · lnc12

Well, it's 8:30 AM here where I live. I got a call from our tax assessor as I was leaving work remindining me that March 28th is the last day that we can homestead our house. She didn't have my AH's number for some reason. Well the house was left to my AH when his father died, and it is still in his father's name...

Minaret · Minaret

This is currently what I am dealing with in my life right now: My AH has been actively drinking all 8 years of our marriage, got a DUI in 2008, he got better for about 6 months, but that was about it. He went backwards to blaming his mother who abandoned him, me and the kids. He thinks he doesn't have a problem...

lgnutah · lgnutah

My sister drinks every single day, but not to the point of drunkeness (as far as I know). She rations herself to 1/2 bottle of wine daily, and then more for special occasions or when on vacation or when getting together with friends. But always the 1/2 bottle per day. When she was scheduled to visit us,...

blondie99 · blondie99

I decided to talk to my boss about taking a few mental health days this week. She is somewhat familiar with what's going on but doesn't know all the gory details. She said she thought it would be a good idea and gave it her blessing. I have a feeling she's been through it too because she uses Al-Anon "l...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

My son is still alive. He spent 5 days in the hospital from a bike accident. Says he wasn't drinking . Found laying unconscious and 911 was called. He doesn't remember but that's what they told him. He complained about being in a neck brace for two days but the cat scans showed no damage. He said h...

laurab · laurab

When I arrived it Phuket my son appeared to be brain damaged. He walked with his legs far apart and he stumbled a lot. He had great trouble speaking and no short term memory. The hospital where he recovered from his near death binge, compounded by a bleeding ulcer, sent him out with 8 different meds, enou...

Lyne · Lyne

So I told my spouse that I need her to do something extremely serious and intense about her drinking and lying, and it is her choice, but if she doesn't I don't think I can stay in our marriage. I think my being honest is the good part, but obviously she doesn't want to work on her addictions or she would be...

5thofFive · 5thofFive

after 10 years of marriage and 2 kids, finally came to my senses that my husband is a bona fide alcoholic. I really believed he wasn't drinking when he said he wasn't (or was only drinking in moderation, when he was trying that), until I'd find him passed out every 6-8 months or so from drinking alone when...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Trying to relax after computer problems. My head hurts & I am so darn tired of messing w/ the mess. Like I said yesterday, my weekend went well. Now back to the grind! I don't have a job but sometimes it feels like I am working my butt off just to survive! I am so frustrated! This is not a positive post at a...

WarmHands · WarmHands

Hello everyone. I'm posting today because my family, similar to many of yours, is suffering the affects of living with an alcoholic and addict. My mother as been on anti-depressants and valium for 23years. About 15 years ago, she added alcohol to her list of coping devices. Our family has swept it all...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

I'm sitting here reflecting on today and I'd say overall today was a good day. For one, my AM went to work. Secondly, when she came home she only had 1 (as far as I know) glass of wine...that may not seem like a lot but she usually has 3+ glasses of wine a night...so this is an improvement.

el-cee · el-cee

My mothering instinct is strong. I've built a life away from my ex and I so want my kids to be here enjoying the fruits of my labour. I've worked really hard and against the odds at times to have a good career, wages not that good, and I now have a reasonable lifestyle. Small luxuries like a full fridge, inte...

lnc12 · lnc12

I had a conversation with my AH over the phone today, and instead of letting him ruin my day, I just needed to come here to vent. He called twice, and I missed them. Finally, on the third call, I answered. He was nearing drunk, so I should have just told him I would talk to him when he sobered up, but my willpow...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I'm use to ignoring be drunk embarrassing behavior of my ah. Doesn't happen everyday but pretty much can count on fri sat nights or both. I don't have friends over anymore because of this. But last night he wanTed to cook and invite my two adult children and his cousin over. So we did. He was so embarrassi...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

I'm not new to AA, I've been to my brother's yearly sobriety celebrations (I don't know what the correct term is)...anyway...my brother, dad and best friend have all been telling me that going to a Face to Face meeting will help me deal with my AM's drinking, which I agree with 100%, but when it comes tim...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi al, I went to a convention at the weekend and my Hp spoike to me loud and clear, had been having a slip into old behaviours, got the guidance I needed. My life has improved so much over the past 5 years or so in al anon, I am working the steps and just coming up to step 8. I have moved forward in so many ways tha...

el-cee · el-cee

Well my son has been rushed to hospital. He's taken something and reacted violently with his friends. He is ccurrently homeless so not sure what tomorrow will bring when he's released. I called my ex ah to let him know and he's drunk so feeling a bit of a victim. When does this end?

Jerry F · Jerry F

and she was grateful. I got no judgements for people who enter AA and declare themselves alcoholic and who are really there to that they can show the alcoholics in their life what clean and sober is all about. I was at my Saturday morning AA by the Bay group and a visitor from out of the area chose to speak....

Jerry F · Jerry F

share below and the responses have been a re-read for me several times. I know why and it reminds me of when I first got into program and reached out for help myself. The support and feedback I got then was huge and supportive and life saving...for me. Lyne's post hit a recovery gratitude for the prog...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi everyone: I have been working hard to concentrate on me, put the focus on my own recovery, but like so many of us have found myself dragged back into the madness (only at my A's convenience of course!). The summary: After a couple of tumultous years with my marriage on the brink, I came to alanon and h...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I went w/ an alanon friend to see West Side Story the musical yesterday. It was so much fun & I got to bond more w/ her. We traveled quite a distance to there & back. She is so much fun. We even got free parking--random act of kindness. A lady didn't know her friends had already paid so she paid for her...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

AH went to his outpatient program today. He is normally home by 1PM, but today he texted and said he was going to a friend's house afterwards for a bit. Of course my gut reaction was, yeah right, likely stopping at the bar or liquor store on the way....but I did not respond.... I waited and just texted back...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

I dreamt I was driving a bus and my five year old was the only passenger. I came to an intersection that was tricky and sorta blocked. I bumped into a truck trying to get around the traffic and then ended up taking a left into a warehouse to get out of the mess. My original destination was to go straight but th...

craftymom · craftymom

Hi everyone. My AH has been trying to recover, basically on his own. Last week he took off for 2 days, no word. Then again on Saturday. Sunday morning I packed his bag and asked him to go away and get help. Last night he snuck back in. This morning I again asked him to leave, and he did. I told him he could come b...

birdie2013 · birdie2013

My boyfriend stopped drinking 36 days ago. We've been together for 2 years. I told him to stop drinking or get out. He's been drinking for 23 years. Heavily for about 5 years. It's a mixed blessing. We live together and he doesn't really speak to me anymore. He hasn't slept in the same bed with me for month...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Sitting here this afternoon doing nothing because I walked into the corner of the couch this morning and OMGosh my toes. Swollen, black and blue and hurts like H***. Hope I didn't break anything :) So.......why can't the A at least text or send a email telling his mom he's OK. I know he must be quite ou...

Diva · Diva

This afternoon he drank a bottle of vodka and started in on me. I took my dogs and left. Upon arriving back, I noticed he had gone to bed, but not before he threw the tv remote and smashed the screen on his new 60 inch smart tv. He is lost. He will never be sober for any length of time. It's too sad. I feel s...

Rinn · Rinn

hears the back story... Hubby has big pain med problem for three years. Lots of ups and downs, withdrawls hand holding... drained me. i finnally thought it was over he said he had 30 days. That was the longest ever before. But about a week ago I had to call 911 and get him to hospital fo rmeth phychosi...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My son and AH were at a public tennis facility last night and they walked past a court where a man collapsed. My AH did CPR and my 14 year old son helped roll the guy over. It was pretty traumatic for the whole team but the man was a stranger so no one knew him. My son saw the whole thing, emergency crews work...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Feeling angry and resentful today, tallying up all the hurts and lies and disappointments suffered at the hands of my AH. First I recounted all the hurts of the last 6 weeks, which turned into a review of the last 2 years, since the drinking got so bad, until finally I was remembering hurts and slights fo...

Maria1 · Maria1

Hi there I have 2 children, a daughter, almost 11 and a son, almost 8. I was with their father for 13 years and we split 4 and a 1/2 years ago. When we first got together we both drank but he had the ability to keep going until he couldn't speak whereas I would stop when I felt drunk. His group of friends all dran...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

A little background. I separated from my AH in August and when I left, I took one of our 3 dogs. I left the cat, birds, fish and other dogs with him because I was moving in with my parents and didn't feel like I could take my "zoo". About 2 weeks later, I went to get my fish tank and birds and found my...

Sun sun · Sun sun

Hello This is my first time here, so bear with me! I am a 48 year old divorced mother of two, been through some big traumas that have led me to have PTSD and Complex PTSD and I have been working very hard on myself for quite a while now. As a result of that work I am quite tuned in with my alarm bells and am sensit...

davie · davie

so me and my exaw have been seperated for close to 6 months now, when i left she has been bombarding my friends and family with text messages telling me she loves me and trying to get a hold of me.... i had met someone else during this time who btw had a load of red flags show up !!!! but i continued with it anywa...

justlearning · justlearning

As exciting it is to see your loved one recover, how do you deal with them reinventing themselves into someone you don't know. Almost a selfishness of I don't care what you think.

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

This morning has been a bit hard. I'm having trouble giving my AM over to my HP....its consuming my thoughts which isn't a good thing... Any prayers would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Heather 68 · Heather 68

I opened that door by calling the ex AB and picking up the phone after he kept hanging up on me. Of course he had been drinking, gives him beer muscles. So in for a lot of tears today. I heard "I never stopped loving you" and WTF I believed it. He tried so hard to get me to come to him but I was on to the m...

lnc12 · lnc12

So, I came face to face today with one of the scariest questions I've ever been asked: "Did you see any red flags before you married your husband?" Me: "Ummm... (long pause) Yes." "Why did you choose to ignore them?" Me: "Oh, just shoot me now and get it over with...

Markmark · Markmark

My wife has been sober now for 18 months and I still sleep down stairs I have no desire to sleep with her. I have not been the best husband in the past and she blames me for her drinking ( I was violent and did join dating agency's ) but I got counselling and she did support me. she thinks we should spit now as thi...

Heather 68 · Heather 68

Feeling lonely so what stupid thing do i do? That's right call the ex AB, who is drinking. Try to talk, not fight, he hangs on me says he is partying and its more fun cuz I'm not around. Tells me " how can you blame all your actions on me"? But I do, I try to tell him I could not handle the alcohol and I d...

lnc12 · lnc12

One of my favorite poems! The JourneyOne day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice - though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles. "Mend my life!" each voice cried. But you didn't stop. You...

newwoman · newwoman

My love is now out of rehab and in a few short weeks I find myself being pulled around in his wagon with 3 flat tires. Prior to his exit I was driving a car with 4 inflated tires, now true to form- I have allowed his games to creep back into to my center throwing me out of whack. Granted I am at least aware it is hap...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I can't believe it but it is my mom afterall. We were watching a movie yesterday & my mom exitted before the end. My husband & I were wondering what was wrong? I ended up getting called in a busy movie theater. The manager said" Is there a Kathleen in here? Just after they stopped the movie. A...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

I feel terrible with myself. Over the last 6 months I have had struggles with myself and wife the wife's drinking. I was at a point of detachment with love. I had in my head that as long as she was not abusive to me, neglecting normal things, basically if it was just that I thought she drank too much and no...

mammapepper · mammapepper

I have been going through a lot..here's my story My bestfriend from when I was 14 was addicted to meth ofr years and recovered in 2010 through treatment centers and half way house. I was there for him and in 2011 we decided to be together and live together. I have two kids outside of him and have been divo...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	She kicked off again ! (Preview) Hi all Well my AW kicked off again on Sunday,she went into total meltdown while the kids where still up.I tried to get her to stop as I hate the kids to see her like that but I was talking to the wall.I remembered the steps and tried with all my heart to stay calm but when she kept on screaming at me over and over...	gorby928	5	411	Mar 29, 2013 by gorby928
	Whoa...I HAVE changed (Preview) So the exA called me tonight to tell me how concerned he is about our kids...playing too many video games, and my 16 yo not doing well in school. The exA is telling me all these things I need to do...and that it's probably "too late" to turn things around for my 16yo. He says "you are so bus...	rehprof	7	403	Mar 29, 2013 by Pushka
	He will never be clean (Preview) And so that's it. But I still feel like it's out of my control how soon all this ends. Tuesday morning I called his probation officer's boss and told her everything. Just the right time apparently. Unfortunately his probation officer actually died 3 weeks ago. So he was going to be reassigned an...	NicoleDiver	1	214	Mar 29, 2013 by lgnutah
	Patience (Preview) I am struggling w/ being patient & compassionate. I just want it to happen now--whatever it is! I am having a pretty good day today. I need a nap, though. I have been struggling w/ yesterday's reading in Hope for Today. It was talking about having compassion for others. My mom is my toughest one. Tha...	Hoot Nanny	1	149	Mar 28, 2013 by Sincerely
	i am working on 'SIMPLE' and 'TRUST' (Preview) I noticed that my trust got hurt the most in my history with the A. trust in myself and my 'judgments' of situations and people, and trust in others not to hurt me. it has a lot to do with my expectations. I somewhat expected heathy nehavior from unhealthy people, including myself. Well, than life opene...	tortuga	5	379	Mar 28, 2013 by dponlyme
	Case Dismissed (Preview) Today was his trial date. The case was dismissed, after both he and I spoke with the prosecutor (individually), and I also spoke with the court advocate. I could have shared lots of information about his alcoholism, and insisted that he be sentenced to a court-ordered treatment program. (This was ad...	ParisMemories	4	681	Mar 28, 2013 by tiredtonite
	I Detach and he drinks more and more (Preview) One of my books .. Think it was getting them sober... Talks about living your own life and I kind of have. I've been doin my sons baseball practices. And helping update an older home my daughter just bought. Which I've stayed at twice when my ah pulled drunk nights and I just didn't wanna deal with it. An...	sweeetr	8	328	Mar 28, 2013 by el-cee
	detachment is hard (Preview) So when I started this journey to make myself better, I had no idea it would make things so much harder. I thought I would change and he would just magically change . . . I thought it would shift the balance and if I was saner, he would be saner. Not yet. So I'm listening to people say: look after yourself, m...	forestfairy	9	403	Mar 28, 2013 by Aloha
	My mom and I had a fairly cathartic talk today (Preview) My mom and I had a pretty good carthartic talk tonight... I told her I was sorry for the regretful things that I had said to her because I was so upset and angry over her drinking. Is this one of the Twelve Steps? making amends? she asked me if I thought she had gotten better I said yes and no. She's going bac...	phoenixmagicgirl	6	245	Mar 28, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	Adam Corolla on Change (Preview) I loved this video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9G3xufj3Z4	Temple	0	310	Mar 27, 2013 by Temple
	alanon and professionals... (Preview) Things are going okay at the moment. In my home Alanon group I felt we needed to have a business and consciance meeting, fairly regularly.When my turn to chair a meeting came around, I bought this up. it seemed to bring up a lof of conflict. I was frightened of losing the group- or rather losing my respec...	DavidG	4	279	Mar 27, 2013 by hotrod
	How to Stop the Negative Thinking (Preview) Okay, how can we help an addict to stop with being so negative? AH is in treatment right now and in some days, he seems fine but in some days, he's so negative about everything. He keeps thinking he's really ruined and there's no cure and there's no hope. He goes to his outpatient addictions treatment cl...	Clueless Optimist	8	1036	Mar 28, 2013 by maryjane
	dealing with friends of the family coming to visit (Preview) A week from this Thursday, we are having family friends visit us from FL. As if there isn't enough tension in the house already between my mom and dad....now we have company coming...should we pretend like nothing is wrong with my mom or should we have an intervention of sorts...from my experience wit...	phoenixmagicgirl	2	254	Mar 27, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	When someone shows you who they are .. (Preview) Believe them. I have spent soooo much time believing what someone tells me that when they show me who they are I can't wrap my pea brain around the fact they are probably being honest about their actions vs their words. I have had a good laugh at myself over the past couple of days. One of them is the fact...	Pushka	12	604	Mar 27, 2013 by Flame
	more pics... (Preview) Its so neat hearing cows, goats, horses, my guineas love it. feels like eden again. OH and wild ducks in the pond!i Um brought in some straw for the guinea pigs, Augy pig thought it was for him...August Ronan McPhate. tory is the horse. The gal tried to help her but its too much. So she is mine. Dickens the p...	Debilyn	1	321	Mar 27, 2013 by Tracy
	He's drinking in the mornings now (Preview) Well, it's 8:30 AM here where I live. I got a call from our tax assessor as I was leaving work remindining me that March 28th is the last day that we can homestead our house. She didn't have my AH's number for some reason. Well the house was left to my AH when his father died, and it is still in his father's name...	lnc12	2	318	Mar 27, 2013 by Tracy
	Overwhelmed Again (Preview) This is currently what I am dealing with in my life right now: My AH has been actively drinking all 8 years of our marriage, got a DUI in 2008, he got better for about 6 months, but that was about it. He went backwards to blaming his mother who abandoned him, me and the kids. He thinks he doesn't have a problem...	Minaret	5	431	Mar 27, 2013 by pinkchip
	Alcohol dependent sis, drinks when she visits, hard for AH (Preview) My sister drinks every single day, but not to the point of drunkeness (as far as I know). She rations herself to 1/2 bottle of wine daily, and then more for special occasions or when on vacation or when getting together with friends. But always the 1/2 bottle per day. When she was scheduled to visit us,...	lgnutah	5	258	Mar 27, 2013 by pinkchip
	mental health days (Preview) I decided to talk to my boss about taking a few mental health days this week. She is somewhat familiar with what's going on but doesn't know all the gory details. She said she thought it would be a good idea and gave it her blessing. I have a feeling she's been through it too because she uses Al-Anon "l...	blondie99	1	436	Mar 27, 2013 by PP
	Got the call (Preview) My son is still alive. He spent 5 days in the hospital from a bike accident. Says he wasn't drinking . Found laying unconscious and 911 was called. He doesn't remember but that's what they told him. He complained about being in a neck brace for two days but the cat scans showed no damage. He said h...	Cathyinaz	10	359	Mar 27, 2013 by Auntyaya
	24,000 miles later, home from Thailand (Preview) When I arrived it Phuket my son appeared to be brain damaged. He walked with his legs far apart and he stumbled a lot. He had great trouble speaking and no short term memory. The hospital where he recovered from his near death binge, compounded by a bleeding ulcer, sent him out with 8 different meds, enou...	laurab	5	493	Mar 27, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	honesty and a little pressure (Preview) So I told my spouse that I need her to do something extremely serious and intense about her drinking and lying, and it is her choice, but if she doesn't I don't think I can stay in our marriage. I think my being honest is the good part, but obviously she doesn't want to work on her addictions or she would be...	Lyne	4	269	Mar 27, 2013 by Lyne
	Husband in rehab after intervention, do I still love him anymore? (Preview) after 10 years of marriage and 2 kids, finally came to my senses that my husband is a bona fide alcoholic. I really believed he wasn't drinking when he said he wasn't (or was only drinking in moderation, when he was trying that), until I'd find him passed out every 6-8 months or so from drinking alone when...	5thofFive	6	547	Mar 27, 2013 by lgnutah
	trying to relax (Preview) Trying to relax after computer problems. My head hurts & I am so darn tired of messing w/ the mess. Like I said yesterday, my weekend went well. Now back to the grind! I don't have a job but sometimes it feels like I am working my butt off just to survive! I am so frustrated! This is not a positive post at a...	Hoot Nanny	2	184	Mar 27, 2013 by hotrod
	Considering an Intervention...need help, advice, pointers please! Intervention enabling dual diagnosis' (Preview) Hello everyone. I'm posting today because my family, similar to many of yours, is suffering the affects of living with an alcoholic and addict. My mother as been on anti-depressants and valium for 23years. About 15 years ago, she added alcohol to her list of coping devices. Our family has swept it all...	WarmHands	7	6337	Mar 26, 2013 by Aloha
	A good day today... (Preview) I'm sitting here reflecting on today and I'd say overall today was a good day. For one, my AM went to work. Secondly, when she came home she only had 1 (as far as I know) glass of wine...that may not seem like a lot but she usually has 3+ glasses of wine a night...so this is an improvement.	phoenixmagicgirl	1	177	Mar 26, 2013 by Hoot Nanny
	mothering role (Preview) My mothering instinct is strong. I've built a life away from my ex and I so want my kids to be here enjoying the fruits of my labour. I've worked really hard and against the odds at times to have a good career, wages not that good, and I now have a reasonable lifestyle. Small luxuries like a full fridge, inte...	el-cee	4	496	Mar 26, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Shouldn't have answered the phone... (Preview) I had a conversation with my AH over the phone today, and instead of letting him ruin my day, I just needed to come here to vent. He called twice, and I missed them. Finally, on the third call, I answered. He was nearing drunk, so I should have just told him I would talk to him when he sobered up, but my willpow...	lnc12	4	231	Mar 26, 2013 by lnc12
	Embarrassment (Preview) I'm use to ignoring be drunk embarrassing behavior of my ah. Doesn't happen everyday but pretty much can count on fri sat nights or both. I don't have friends over anymore because of this. But last night he wanTed to cook and invite my two adult children and his cousin over. So we did. He was so embarrassi...	sweeetr	4	310	Mar 26, 2013 by canadianguy
	too hard on myself? (Preview) I'm not new to AA, I've been to my brother's yearly sobriety celebrations (I don't know what the correct term is)...anyway...my brother, dad and best friend have all been telling me that going to a Face to Face meeting will help me deal with my AM's drinking, which I agree with 100%, but when it comes tim...	phoenixmagicgirl	4	183	Mar 26, 2013 by ilovedogs
	new beginnings (Preview) Hi al, I went to a convention at the weekend and my Hp spoike to me loud and clear, had been having a slip into old behaviours, got the guidance I needed. My life has improved so much over the past 5 years or so in al anon, I am working the steps and just coming up to step 8. I have moved forward in so many ways tha...	Tracy	2	190	Mar 26, 2013 by ilovedogs
	my son (Preview) Well my son has been rushed to hospital. He's taken something and reacted violently with his friends. He is ccurrently homeless so not sure what tomorrow will bring when he's released. I called my ex ah to let him know and he's drunk so feeling a bit of a victim. When does this end?	el-cee	9	367	Mar 26, 2013 by Peggy7
	So we talked the right program (Preview) and she was grateful. I got no judgements for people who enter AA and declare themselves alcoholic and who are really there to that they can show the alcoholics in their life what clean and sober is all about. I was at my Saturday morning AA by the Bay group and a visitor from out of the area chose to speak....	Jerry F	5	227	Mar 26, 2013 by Peggy7
	Lyne's honesty and a little pressure (Preview) share below and the responses have been a re-read for me several times. I know why and it reminds me of when I first got into program and reached out for help myself. The support and feedback I got then was huge and supportive and life saving...for me. Lyne's post hit a recovery gratitude for the prog...	Jerry F	2	258	Mar 26, 2013 by Peggy7
	reaching out friends.... (Preview) Hi everyone: I have been working hard to concentrate on me, put the focus on my own recovery, but like so many of us have found myself dragged back into the madness (only at my A's convenience of course!). The summary: After a couple of tumultous years with my marriage on the brink, I came to alanon and h...	yanksfan51	5	288	Mar 26, 2013 by Peggy7
	not Alanon related but exciting anyhow (Preview) I went w/ an alanon friend to see West Side Story the musical yesterday. It was so much fun & I got to bond more w/ her. We traveled quite a distance to there & back. She is so much fun. We even got free parking--random act of kindness. A lady didn't know her friends had already paid so she paid for her...	Hoot Nanny	3	206	Mar 26, 2013 by Peggy7
	Wedding Ring (Preview) AH went to his outpatient program today. He is normally home by 1PM, but today he texted and said he was going to a friend's house afterwards for a bit. Of course my gut reaction was, yeah right, likely stopping at the bar or liquor store on the way....but I did not respond.... I waited and just texted back...	ParisMemories	5	289	Mar 26, 2013 by Peggy7
	Dread (Preview) I dreamt I was driving a bus and my five year old was the only passenger. I came to an intersection that was tricky and sorta blocked. I bumped into a truck trying to get around the traffic and then ended up taking a left into a warehouse to get out of the mess. My original destination was to go straight but th...	StargazerLily	2	221	Mar 26, 2013 by Peggy7
	First post, asked my AH to leave (Preview) Hi everyone. My AH has been trying to recover, basically on his own. Last week he took off for 2 days, no word. Then again on Saturday. Sunday morning I packed his bag and asked him to go away and get help. Last night he snuck back in. This morning I again asked him to leave, and he did. I told him he could come b...	craftymom	3	257	Mar 26, 2013 by Peggy7
	Emotional Distance after Alcoholic Stops Drinking emotion sober stop drinking emotional distance (Preview) My boyfriend stopped drinking 36 days ago. We've been together for 2 years. I told him to stop drinking or get out. He's been drinking for 23 years. Heavily for about 5 years. It's a mixed blessing. We live together and he doesn't really speak to me anymore. He hasn't slept in the same bed with me for month...	birdie2013	12	7500	Mar 26, 2013 by Flame
	Sitting here thinking (Preview) Sitting here this afternoon doing nothing because I walked into the corner of the couch this morning and OMGosh my toes. Swollen, black and blue and hurts like H***. Hope I didn't break anything :) So.......why can't the A at least text or send a email telling his mom he's OK. I know he must be quite ou...	Cathyinaz	11	479	Mar 26, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	He will never stop drinking....sorry to say (Preview) This afternoon he drank a bottle of vodka and started in on me. I took my dogs and left. Upon arriving back, I noticed he had gone to bed, but not before he threw the tv remote and smashed the screen on his new 60 inch smart tv. He is lost. He will never be sober for any length of time. It's too sad. I feel s...	Diva	7	374	Mar 26, 2013 by SpiderArcana
	setting bounderys...need some advice is it reasonable. (Preview) hears the back story... Hubby has big pain med problem for three years. Lots of ups and downs, withdrawls hand holding... drained me. i finnally thought it was over he said he had 30 days. That was the longest ever before. But about a week ago I had to call 911 and get him to hospital fo rmeth phychosi...	Rinn	10	346	Mar 26, 2013 by imom
	What would you do for your kids if they saw someone die? (Preview) My son and AH were at a public tennis facility last night and they walked past a court where a man collapsed. My AH did CPR and my 14 year old son helped roll the guy over. It was pretty traumatic for the whole team but the man was a stranger so no one knew him. My son saw the whole thing, emergency crews work...	ilovedogs	7	555	Mar 26, 2013 by imom
	Resentment (Preview) Feeling angry and resentful today, tallying up all the hurts and lies and disappointments suffered at the hands of my AH. First I recounted all the hurts of the last 6 weeks, which turned into a review of the last 2 years, since the drinking got so bad, until finally I was remembering hurts and slights fo...	ParisMemories	6	575	Mar 26, 2013 by SpiderArcana
	Looking for advice re supporting my children (Preview) Hi there I have 2 children, a daughter, almost 11 and a son, almost 8. I was with their father for 13 years and we split 4 and a 1/2 years ago. When we first got together we both drank but he had the ability to keep going until he couldn't speak whereas I would stop when I felt drunk. His group of friends all dran...	Maria1	11	330	Mar 25, 2013 by Maria1
	What Would You Do? (Preview) A little background. I separated from my AH in August and when I left, I took one of our 3 dogs. I left the cat, birds, fish and other dogs with him because I was moving in with my parents and didn't feel like I could take my "zoo". About 2 weeks later, I went to get my fish tank and birds and found my...	wornoutmrsfixit	8	503	Mar 25, 2013 by Mattie
	I need some clarity and a lot of advice (Preview) Hello This is my first time here, so bear with me! I am a 48 year old divorced mother of two, been through some big traumas that have led me to have PTSD and Complex PTSD and I have been working very hard on myself for quite a while now. As a result of that work I am quite tuned in with my alarm bells and am sensit...	Sun sun	9	487	Mar 25, 2013 by Sun sun
	help making a descision !! (Preview) so me and my exaw have been seperated for close to 6 months now, when i left she has been bombarding my friends and family with text messages telling me she loves me and trying to get a hold of me.... i had met someone else during this time who btw had a load of red flags show up !!!! but i continued with it anywa...	davie	8	565	Mar 25, 2013 by John
	How to deal (Preview) As exciting it is to see your loved one recover, how do you deal with them reinventing themselves into someone you don't know. Almost a selfishness of I don't care what you think.	justlearning	4	271	Mar 25, 2013 by John
	Having trouble giving my AM over to my HP this morning (Preview) This morning has been a bit hard. I'm having trouble giving my AM over to my HP....its consuming my thoughts which isn't a good thing... Any prayers would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.	phoenixmagicgirl	3	225	Mar 25, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	Back on the roller-coaster! (Preview) I opened that door by calling the ex AB and picking up the phone after he kept hanging up on me. Of course he had been drinking, gives him beer muscles. So in for a lot of tears today. I heard "I never stopped loving you" and WTF I believed it. He tried so hard to get me to come to him but I was on to the m...	Heather 68	2	365	Mar 25, 2013 by yanksfan51
	Counseling (Preview) So, I came face to face today with one of the scariest questions I've ever been asked: "Did you see any red flags before you married your husband?" Me: "Ummm... (long pause) Yes." "Why did you choose to ignore them?" Me: "Oh, just shoot me now and get it over with...	lnc12	3	239	Mar 24, 2013 by milkwood
	No feelings (Preview) My wife has been sober now for 18 months and I still sleep down stairs I have no desire to sleep with her. I have not been the best husband in the past and she blames me for her drinking ( I was violent and did join dating agency's ) but I got counselling and she did support me. she thinks we should spit now as thi...	Markmark	3	275	Mar 24, 2013 by milkwood
	What am I thinking? (Preview) Feeling lonely so what stupid thing do i do? That's right call the ex AB, who is drinking. Try to talk, not fight, he hangs on me says he is partying and its more fun cuz I'm not around. Tells me " how can you blame all your actions on me"? But I do, I try to tell him I could not handle the alcohol and I d...	Heather 68	5	305	Mar 24, 2013 by milkwood
	Just wanted to share (Preview) One of my favorite poems! The JourneyOne day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice - though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles. "Mend my life!" each voice cried. But you didn't stop. You...	lnc12	2	204	Mar 24, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	This board was the only home I felt normal living in...then I snuck out of the house. Can someone unlock the front door? (Preview) My love is now out of rehab and in a few short weeks I find myself being pulled around in his wagon with 3 flat tires. Prior to his exit I was driving a car with 4 inflated tires, now true to form- I have allowed his games to creep back into to my center throwing me out of whack. Granted I am at least aware it is hap...	newwoman	8	669	Mar 24, 2013 by Pushka
	my mom went to the ER last night. (Preview) I can't believe it but it is my mom afterall. We were watching a movie yesterday & my mom exitted before the end. My husband & I were wondering what was wrong? I ended up getting called in a busy movie theater. The manager said" Is there a Kathleen in here? Just after they stopped the movie. A...	Hoot Nanny	1	183	Mar 23, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	I feel like such an idiot! (Preview) I feel terrible with myself. Over the last 6 months I have had struggles with myself and wife the wife's drinking. I was at a point of detachment with love. I had in my head that as long as she was not abusive to me, neglecting normal things, basically if it was just that I thought she drank too much and no...	hdftby100	5	590	Mar 24, 2013 by hdftby100
	Newbie needs advice (Preview) I have been going through a lot..here's my story My bestfriend from when I was 14 was addicted to meth ofr years and recovered in 2010 through treatment centers and half way house. I was there for him and in 2011 we decided to be together and live together. I have two kids outside of him and have been divo...	mammapepper	4	410	Mar 23, 2013 by kksmom
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.