Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

stephaniej · stephaniej

For those of you who don't know my story, in a nutshell, I work a regular 8-5 job, and my AH works second shift (3-11). He does the very large majority of his drinking at home after work, when I am asleep and it doesn't interfere directly with family time. My AH has had periods where he is very emotionally...

Ms S · Ms S

my daughter is 20 she's been having a bit of a hard time recently as she broke up with her boyfriend and one of her university flatmates she is finding difficult to live with The upshot is that she's been spending more time at home and it's just what I needed We've had lots of lovely conversations and been...

John · John

I read a good number of post here tonight and even replied to a few of them. One really hit me hard. It was someone asking if anyone else had a alcoholic do a disappearing act on them, and how did they cope with it. It brought back so many different memories of my own life that before I even decided to reply...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

I wrote a couple days ago that my AH relapsed in a post title "Same Old Story". But I realized just now, it is not the same old story. Instead of freaking out, I used my program skills, prayed to my HP and survived the last two days without much stress, relatively speaking of course. This is his...

Sincerely · Sincerely

I stayed in bed all day today. Last weekend too. I'm exhausted. Depressed too. Full of anxiety. I'm tired. I want my bounce back. My husband is in treatment. It's just me and my new puppy. (bad timing for the puppy, he's work!) i could sleep all day. Ill get anxiety tonight cause I might not be able to sleep...

John · John

While standing in line at a grocery store, I had the entertainment of a young girl and young boy behind me... they were all googly eyed at each other, in their very early teens. The boy asked the girl... do you think you'll ever get married? The girl replied..."I'm not sure, I saw my mom do it and it never w...

Jerry F · Jerry F

really have the connection with your HP!! That and the chicken soup made the flu fly...just a 24 hour thing. Mahalo to all of you. Used my MIP meds...lol (((((hugs)))))

scaredandconfused · scaredandconfused

I've become afraid of my mailbox. Not really the mailbox but all the bad news and threatening letters it contains everyday. All the result of my stbxah completely abandoning all his responsibilities and leaving me to deal with the aftermath. Since I can't drink to escape reality like him I find myse...

ClearTheFog · ClearTheFog

My daughter has been drinking all afternoon and evening with her Stepmother, and posting tweets and instagram photos about how drunk they are. Then she DROVE her stepmother 3 miles to get home, and called me from their driveway and asked/begged me to let her come over here to my place to sleep. I answer...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. In the past I have mentioned that I have a friend who I have become more and more distant from. The reason for this is that I think he is an alcoholic. This person grew up in an alcoholic home and we've discussed it in the past, but ultim...

texasgal · texasgal

I tried so hard to keep calm and have peace tonight but my ah walked in and smells of alcohol and cigarettes. I'm so sad I had suspected he had relapsed but now I have confirmation. I feel awful and I cried for awhile. I know only he can help himself. I think I should move out but I can't afford it until the firs...

forestfairy · forestfairy

So I finally moved out with my son to a shelter because he just kept getting more insane. After two days of his frantic calling to my cell phone it appears the message finally sunk in: you need to work on your issues, call a therapist, not me. I can't fix it. He made an appointment. This is Heruculean for h...

Giggleball · Giggleball

So, I'm new here and new to this world. My AH is in an inpatient treatment facility -- due out a week from Sunday. He's been really taking rehab seriously and the 12 steps. I'm so proud of him and what he is doing for himself. I am scared, though... I am scared because he is more like the man I married now t...

el-cee · el-cee

My son, 19, who is showing signs of progressing in his quest to not feel what he feels or think what he thinks about himself. He is currently homeless, he has a court case coming up in the next couple of weeks, there is a real chance he will go to prison for failing twice to comply with probation, so he is...

MAGK55 · MAGK55

It just seems like it is the same day after day. Money problems, drama from the alcoholic, work problems. Blah, blah, blah. I have been attending AL-ANON meetings on Monday and I love going but life just seems depressing and meaningless.

John · John

On my wall is a picture of my son, who is holding his new born, first child, the day he was born. Both have their eyes closed and the love and connectedness is so obvious in that picture. My grandchild is now 10 years old. Then I have another picture... of my son's mug shot taken in jail. Not on my wall of c...

Jerry F · Jerry F

It might be the flu or whatever. It started coming on this morning just as I was waking up. I needed support to stand without wavering back and forth and I had a cup of coffee and felt better; got my truck and made it to my home meeting. God can I be more greatly blessed than what has been given to me with thi...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Yesterday I received an email from my mother saying my family is going to my brother's home in another state for Easter. I only have this one sibling, its just the four of us and his wife and my only niece who Im crazy about. My brother's wife's family will be there too. We have always spent holidays togeth...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I'm awake at 2 AM ruminating and cooking up a resentment against 1 of my bosses. I had an idea about a training for gay and lesbian awareness, sensitivity, and resources. I have some connections outside of work and have used them to help my office/organization before. Generally speaking, I am a dy...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

I just couldn't stand it anymore. This attorney is the most self-centered, rude, condescending person I have ever met. Not only that, I truly believe she is a hoarder. 50% of my day is spent searching for things that she has misplaced in that trash heap that she calls an office. The other 40% is spent m...

sheristeele · sheristeele

Over the last few days my addicted son who no longer lives with me has been contacting me and giving me a lot of grief because I will not let him have his box of 50 to 75 DVD;s (which I paid for when he lived with me). The reason I will not let him have them is because I know that he will sell them for drug money. I...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

Hi. I am posting tonight because my boyfriend has decided that he wants to look into a thirty day facility like passages. Or something cheaper obviously. He is going to call his mom tonight and tell her, and ask about insurance or what he should do. I am literally riddled with anxiety and fear??? :conf...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Back to the good old days when I was being more positive. I feel like I have been suffering from negativity. I just needed to get humble a bit to get the gratitude back. I have been a little bit uncomfortable in my own skin but today I feel like I can do almost anything that I put my mind to. If something goes wr...

Maurice · Maurice

-- Edited by Maurice on Thursday 28th of March 2013 12:17:27 PM

canadianguy · canadianguy

http://alanon.activeboard.com/t52247626/the-promises-of-alanon/

texasgal · texasgal

As the holiday approaches the drama with my AH has already started. He didn't come home wednesday night and today he is off and already its a big drama about his job. I'm off all weekend from both my jobs. I know I'm going to a meeting tomorrow. But I need to make plans with family or friends the rest of weeke...

imom · imom

Hi Everyone, I haven't posted in a while because things at my house have been really really bad, and all week all I have wanted to do is come home from work and crawl in bed and hide. Today as I was walking down the hall at work, I looked out at the sun shining. I began thinking about how we finally have a bea...

Pushka · Pushka

to be angry .. lol. Now the anger was exhausting, at least I could keep up the steel gates and walls and not have to deal with the hurt. Ironically, STBAX moved out 15 months ago and I'm only NOW dealing with the hurt. Being angry afforded me not to face my pain initially and I had a lot of pain going into t...

seekinganswers · seekinganswers

Hi, This is my first post and I'm very lost right now. I hope someone can point me in the right direction. I don't live near by Al Anon meetings but I would like to find a sponsor, someone to email/talk on the phone. Does anyone know how can I do it? Thank you very much in advance!

Lupo · Lupo

After six months of relapse that seemingly continued to get worse and worse I have asked my fiance to leave our home. I can no longer bear to live with the insanity in my life. She has continued to increase her use. Typically two nights a week she will not come home. I have found drug paraphenalia all ove...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

I was hopeful after yesterday's promises. AH said he was committed to recovery, blah blah blah. Today I get home from work, he is gone. There is a note on the table saying he is "planning to stay at his parents". I know him. This is how he can say he didn't lie. He "planned" to stay at h...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning Sometimes when I get upset and worried and go into a tailspin I think why? I'm doing everything I should be doing to get healthy. Why do I continue to have a problem detaching... Well...I'm human. Those feelings will always be there, it's just how do I handle them to keep me safe and have pe...

Number30 · Number30

I'm doing a lot better, staying calm, working out a Plan B that actually excites me a little and then tomorrow is AH's payday (not that he's been to work in over a week!) Payday is the worst. He gets two physical checks. Cashes one and hands it to me for bills/groceries/gas, everything except his lovely m...

Jen61 · Jen61

I went to a face to face meeting on Tuesday night and this was read. Very powerful. The Al-Anon Do's and Don'tsDO:Do forgiveDo be humbleDo take it easy tension is harmfulDo play find recreation and hobbiesDo keep on trying whenever you failDo learn the facts about alcoholismDo attend Al-Anon mee...

Hopeful925 · Hopeful925

Hi everyone..so glad to have found this community of support...I'm new to all of "THIS". I started dating this wonderful man whom I had known in my community in June 2012 not knowing he was alcoholic...and not knowing the least thing about alcoholism..I don't drink..never have, didn't...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

From what I've read, when an alcoholic is recovering they become a new person. They reconstruct themselves as they are without the alcohol. I'm 99% sure my AH has been sober for about 4 weeks. Still working on myself and getting off the crazy-train/roller coaster. The thing I'm really strugglin...

lgnutah · lgnutah

My 32 year old alcoholic daughter associates with other alcoholics (they meet at least 5 nights a week at bars, plus they meet for lunch and sometimes at homes to drink at other times). All their get togethers involve hours and hours of drinking. She feels they are just having fun and what they are doi...

Sincerely · Sincerely

At the top of my lungs i want to scream! I hate this feeling I have inside. It's empty! My 2 A's are my husband and my mom. Husbandbeen seperated 18 monthsmiss him tremendouslyhe's in treatment 45 days cleani'm going see him this weekend Momboundary- i don't go to her house after work, don't wanna be ar...

LeenieBeanie · LeenieBeanie

We come home from vacation to find our AD got fired from her job a few weeks ago and has been hiding that fact from us. My husband was not in the room when she confided this to me, and she just curled up in a ball and kept crying and crying, saying that is not the worst part . I know better than this after almost 3...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Two days out of the hospital and my son is already drinking. This time it hurts. I'm hurt. He is so depressed and hurting so much I'm afraid he is not going to make it. My "what ifs " kicked in big time. I'm scared and fear for his life right now. I am trying to let it pass but I had to write som...

Sun sun · Sun sun

I am tired. As I know so many others are. I posted a few days ago, and here I am again anxious and scared. after a calm 3 days, today he went to his mother's house having said he would be back here between 6.30 and 7 pm. I sent him a text saying food would be ready at 7.30 and he phoned to say he'd be back at 7.45. No s...

lnc12 · lnc12

I wrote about my AH being drunk at 8:00 yesterday. Well, apparently he just kept drinking. I got a call from his grandmother at 1:00 PM telling me that he had fallen and he had a big knot on his head. She wanted me to come over to look at it, and I told her that it wouldn't do any good for me to be there, and that if...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Have found myself much happier doing what is innately me, a bit of rehab and rescue. A gal and her family are rening the 20 acres across the road from me. She has everything...they are all sooo sweet and healthy. I ended up rescuing Augy my Berkshire/guinea hog mix. He is gorgious, won't be as big as a regu...

dponlyme · dponlyme

My AW is having a really hard time mentally right now.. I see alot of depression and thinking errors going on but I am frustrated that it always ends up with her being angry with me. Yesterday she woke me up and asked if she could take my NEW tablet outside so she could listen to music while she cooked on the...

gorby928 · gorby928

Hi all Well my AW kicked off again on Sunday,she went into total meltdown while the kids where still up.I tried to get her to stop as I hate the kids to see her like that but I was talking to the wall.I remembered the steps and tried with all my heart to stay calm but when she kept on screaming at me over and over...

rehprof · rehprof

So the exA called me tonight to tell me how concerned he is about our kids...playing too many video games, and my 16 yo not doing well in school. The exA is telling me all these things I need to do...and that it's probably "too late" to turn things around for my 16yo. He says "you are so bus...

NicoleDiver · NicoleDiver

And so that's it. But I still feel like it's out of my control how soon all this ends. Tuesday morning I called his probation officer's boss and told her everything. Just the right time apparently. Unfortunately his probation officer actually died 3 weeks ago. So he was going to be reassigned an...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am struggling w/ being patient & compassionate. I just want it to happen now--whatever it is! I am having a pretty good day today. I need a nap, though. I have been struggling w/ yesterday's reading in Hope for Today. It was talking about having compassion for others. My mom is my toughest one. Tha...

tortuga · tortuga

I noticed that my trust got hurt the most in my history with the A. trust in myself and my 'judgments' of situations and people, and trust in others not to hurt me. it has a lot to do with my expectations. I somewhat expected heathy nehavior from unhealthy people, including myself. Well, than life opene...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Today was his trial date. The case was dismissed, after both he and I spoke with the prosecutor (individually), and I also spoke with the court advocate. I could have shared lots of information about his alcoholism, and insisted that he be sentenced to a court-ordered treatment program. (This was ad...

sweeetr · sweeetr

One of my books .. Think it was getting them sober... Talks about living your own life and I kind of have. I've been doin my sons baseball practices. And helping update an older home my daughter just bought. Which I've stayed at twice when my ah pulled drunk nights and I just didn't wanna deal with it. An...

forestfairy · forestfairy

So when I started this journey to make myself better, I had no idea it would make things so much harder. I thought I would change and he would just magically change . . . I thought it would shift the balance and if I was saner, he would be saner. Not yet. So I'm listening to people say: look after yourself, m...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

My mom and I had a pretty good carthartic talk tonight... I told her I was sorry for the regretful things that I had said to her because I was so upset and angry over her drinking. Is this one of the Twelve Steps? making amends? she asked me if I thought she had gotten better I said yes and no. She's going bac...

Temple · Temple

I loved this video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9G3xufj3Z4

DavidG · DavidG

Things are going okay at the moment. In my home Alanon group I felt we needed to have a business and consciance meeting, fairly regularly.When my turn to chair a meeting came around, I bought this up. it seemed to bring up a lof of conflict. I was frightened of losing the group- or rather losing my respec...

Clueless Optimist · Clueless Optimist

Okay, how can we help an addict to stop with being so negative? AH is in treatment right now and in some days, he seems fine but in some days, he's so negative about everything. He keeps thinking he's really ruined and there's no cure and there's no hope. He goes to his outpatient addictions treatment cl...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

A week from this Thursday, we are having family friends visit us from FL. As if there isn't enough tension in the house already between my mom and dad....now we have company coming...should we pretend like nothing is wrong with my mom or should we have an intervention of sorts...from my experience wit...

Pushka · Pushka

Believe them. I have spent soooo much time believing what someone tells me that when they show me who they are I can't wrap my pea brain around the fact they are probably being honest about their actions vs their words. I have had a good laugh at myself over the past couple of days. One of them is the fact...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Its so neat hearing cows, goats, horses, my guineas love it. feels like eden again. OH and wild ducks in the pond!i Um brought in some straw for the guinea pigs, Augy pig thought it was for him...August Ronan McPhate. tory is the horse. The gal tried to help her but its too much. So she is mine. Dickens the p...

lnc12 · lnc12

Well, it's 8:30 AM here where I live. I got a call from our tax assessor as I was leaving work remindining me that March 28th is the last day that we can homestead our house. She didn't have my AH's number for some reason. Well the house was left to my AH when his father died, and it is still in his father's name...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I am struggling mightily tonight, and could use some ESH (Preview) For those of you who don't know my story, in a nutshell, I work a regular 8-5 job, and my AH works second shift (3-11). He does the very large majority of his drinking at home after work, when I am asleep and it doesn't interfere directly with family time. My AH has had periods where he is very emotionally...	stephaniej	19	461	Apr 2, 2013 by Theoceancalls
	some good news about my daughter (Preview) my daughter is 20 she's been having a bit of a hard time recently as she broke up with her boyfriend and one of her university flatmates she is finding difficult to live with The upshot is that she's been spending more time at home and it's just what I needed We've had lots of lovely conversations and been...	Ms S	4	414	Apr 2, 2013 by hotrod
	A piece of my history... (Preview) I read a good number of post here tonight and even replied to a few of them. One really hit me hard. It was someone asking if anyone else had a alcoholic do a disappearing act on them, and how did they cope with it. It brought back so many different memories of my own life that before I even decided to reply...	John	9	415	Apr 2, 2013 by yanksfan51
	Not the Same Old Story (Preview) I wrote a couple days ago that my AH relapsed in a post title "Same Old Story". But I realized just now, it is not the same old story. Instead of freaking out, I used my program skills, prayed to my HP and survived the last two days without much stress, relatively speaking of course. This is his...	ParisMemories	6	285	Apr 1, 2013 by Pushka
	Exhausted (Preview) I stayed in bed all day today. Last weekend too. I'm exhausted. Depressed too. Full of anxiety. I'm tired. I want my bounce back. My husband is in treatment. It's just me and my new puppy. (bad timing for the puppy, he's work!) i could sleep all day. Ill get anxiety tonight cause I might not be able to sleep...	Sincerely	5	296	Apr 1, 2013 by PP
	A funny I heard last night... (Preview) While standing in line at a grocery store, I had the entertainment of a young girl and young boy behind me... they were all googly eyed at each other, in their very early teens. The boy asked the girl... do you think you'll ever get married? The girl replied..."I'm not sure, I saw my mom do it and it never w...	John	1	254	Apr 1, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Wow you people (Preview) really have the connection with your HP!! That and the chicken soup made the flu fly...just a 24 hour thing. Mahalo to all of you. Used my MIP meds...lol (((((hugs)))))	Jerry F	4	349	Apr 1, 2013 by Pushka
	Fear of the mailbox (Preview) I've become afraid of my mailbox. Not really the mailbox but all the bad news and threatening letters it contains everyday. All the result of my stbxah completely abandoning all his responsibilities and leaving me to deal with the aftermath. Since I can't drink to escape reality like him I find myse...	scaredandconfused	5	583	Apr 1, 2013 by PP
	Time to put...something...into practice (Preview) My daughter has been drinking all afternoon and evening with her Stepmother, and posting tweets and instagram photos about how drunk they are. Then she DROVE her stepmother 3 miles to get home, and called me from their driveway and asked/begged me to let her come over here to my place to sleep. I answer...	ClearTheFog	5	2528	Apr 1, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	I have a friend who I think is an alcoholic. (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. In the past I have mentioned that I have a friend who I have become more and more distant from. The reason for this is that I think he is an alcoholic. This person grew up in an alcoholic home and we've discussed it in the past, but ultim...	slogan_jim	7	349	Apr 1, 2013 by slogan_jim
	my ah relapsed (Preview) I tried so hard to keep calm and have peace tonight but my ah walked in and smells of alcohol and cigarettes. I'm so sad I had suspected he had relapsed but now I have confirmation. I feel awful and I cried for awhile. I know only he can help himself. I think I should move out but I can't afford it until the firs...	texasgal	5	292	Apr 1, 2013 by Ms S
	When can we all live together again? (Preview) So I finally moved out with my son to a shelter because he just kept getting more insane. After two days of his frantic calling to my cell phone it appears the message finally sunk in: you need to work on your issues, call a therapist, not me. I can't fix it. He made an appointment. This is Heruculean for h...	forestfairy	7	436	Apr 1, 2013 by forestfairy
	New Here (Preview) So, I'm new here and new to this world. My AH is in an inpatient treatment facility -- due out a week from Sunday. He's been really taking rehab seriously and the 12 steps. I'm so proud of him and what he is doing for himself. I am scared, though... I am scared because he is more like the man I married now t...	Giggleball	6	404	Apr 1, 2013 by Giggleball
	cant let go! (Preview) My son, 19, who is showing signs of progressing in his quest to not feel what he feels or think what he thinks about himself. He is currently homeless, he has a court case coming up in the next couple of weeks, there is a real chance he will go to prison for failing twice to comply with probation, so he is...	el-cee	8	413	Mar 31, 2013 by MeTwo2
	Is this ever going to change (Preview) It just seems like it is the same day after day. Money problems, drama from the alcoholic, work problems. Blah, blah, blah. I have been attending AL-ANON meetings on Monday and I love going but life just seems depressing and meaningless.	MAGK55	7	504	Mar 31, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Hurting, Loving, Believing, Trusting, Fearing, etc, etc, etc... (Preview) On my wall is a picture of my son, who is holding his new born, first child, the day he was born. Both have their eyes closed and the love and connectedness is so obvious in that picture. My grandchild is now 10 years old. Then I have another picture... of my son's mug shot taken in jail. Not on my wall of c...	John	6	435	Mar 31, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	Physically sick...good! (Preview) It might be the flu or whatever. It started coming on this morning just as I was waking up. I needed support to stand without wavering back and forth and I had a cup of coffee and felt better; got my truck and made it to my home meeting. *God can I be more greatly blessed than what has been given to me with thi...*	Jerry F	9	518	Mar 31, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Oh boy, here we go again! (Preview) Yesterday I received an email from my mother saying my family is going to my brother's home in another state for Easter. I only have this one sibling, its just the four of us and his wife and my only niece who Im crazy about. My brother's wife's family will be there too. We have always spent holidays togeth...	WorkingThroughIt	11	372	Mar 31, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	People pleasing martyr complex (Preview) I'm awake at 2 AM ruminating and cooking up a resentment against 1 of my bosses. I had an idea about a training for gay and lesbian awareness, sensitivity, and resources. I have some connections outside of work and have used them to help my office/organization before. Generally speaking, I am a dy...	pinkchip	22	1124	Mar 31, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Quit My Job Yesterday (Preview) I just couldn't stand it anymore. This attorney is the most self-centered, rude, condescending person I have ever met. Not only that, I truly believe she is a hoarder. 50% of my day is spent searching for things that she has misplaced in that trash heap that she calls an office. The other 40% is spent m...	wornoutmrsfixit	7	481	Mar 31, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	Give in to the addict or take a stand? (Preview) Over the last few days my addicted son who no longer lives with me has been contacting me and giving me a lot of grief because I will not let him have his box of 50 to 75 DVD;s (which I paid for when he lived with me). The reason I will not let him have them is because I know that he will sell them for drug money. I...	sheristeele	9	378	Mar 31, 2013 by Pushka
	Fear when spouse is starting rehabilitation, codependent? (Preview) Hi. I am posting tonight because my boyfriend has decided that he wants to look into a thirty day facility like passages. Or something cheaper obviously. He is going to call his mom tonight and tell her, and ask about insurance or what he should do. I am literally riddled with anxiety and fear??? :conf...	giraffe13	6	346	Mar 31, 2013 by giraffe13
	on a positive track! (Preview) Back to the good old days when I was being more positive. I feel like I have been suffering from negativity. I just needed to get humble a bit to get the gratitude back. I have been a little bit uncomfortable in my own skin but today I feel like I can do almost anything that I put my mind to. If something goes wr...	Hoot Nanny	3	307	Mar 30, 2013 by el-cee
	Rebuilding bridges (Preview) -- Edited by Maurice on Thursday 28th of March 2013 12:17:27 PM	Maurice	4	302	Mar 30, 2013 by milkwood
	Promises - for anyone and everyone.... (Preview) http://alanon.activeboard.com/t52247626/the-promises-of-alanon/	canadianguy	3	334	Mar 30, 2013 by John
	holidays :( (Preview) As the holiday approaches the drama with my AH has already started. He didn't come home wednesday night and today he is off and already its a big drama about his job. I'm off all weekend from both my jobs. I know I'm going to a meeting tomorrow. But I need to make plans with family or friends the rest of weeke...	texasgal	3	257	Mar 30, 2013 by John
	trying to stay positive (Preview) Hi Everyone, I haven't posted in a while because things at my house have been really really bad, and all week all I have wanted to do is come home from work and crawl in bed and hide. Today as I was walking down the hall at work, I looked out at the sun shining. I began thinking about how we finally have a bea...	imom	3	321	Mar 30, 2013 by tortuga
	It really was easier .. (Preview) to be angry .. lol. Now the anger was exhausting, at least I could keep up the steel gates and walls and not have to deal with the hurt. Ironically, STBAX moved out 15 months ago and I'm only NOW dealing with the hurt. Being angry afforded me not to face my pain initially and I had a lot of pain going into t...	Pushka	10	587	Mar 30, 2013 by Pushka
	Finding A Sponsor (Preview) Hi, This is my first post and I'm very lost right now. I hope someone can point me in the right direction. I don't live near by Al Anon meetings but I would like to find a sponsor, someone to email/talk on the phone. Does anyone know how can I do it? Thank you very much in advance!	seekinganswers	4	310	Mar 30, 2013 by seekinganswers
	It finally happened (Preview) After six months of relapse that seemingly continued to get worse and worse I have asked my fiance to leave our home. I can no longer bear to live with the insanity in my life. She has continued to increase her use. Typically two nights a week she will not come home. I have found drug paraphenalia all ove...	Lupo	4	312	Mar 30, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Same old story (Preview) I was hopeful after yesterday's promises. AH said he was committed to recovery, blah blah blah. Today I get home from work, he is gone. There is a note on the table saying he is "planning to stay at his parents". I know him. This is how he can say he didn't lie. He "planned" to stay at h...	ParisMemories	7	353	Mar 29, 2013 by maryjane
	Thank you (Preview) Good Morning Sometimes when I get upset and worried and go into a tailspin I think why? I'm doing everything I should be doing to get healthy. Why do I continue to have a problem detaching... Well...I'm human. Those feelings will always be there, it's just how do I handle them to keep me safe and have pe...	Cathyinaz	7	426	Mar 29, 2013 by maryjane
	Payday (Preview) I'm doing a lot better, staying calm, working out a Plan B that actually excites me a little and then tomorrow is AH's payday (not that he's been to work in over a week!) Payday is the worst. He gets two physical checks. Cashes one and hands it to me for bills/groceries/gas, everything except his lovely m...	Number30	5	312	Mar 29, 2013 by maryjane
	The Do's and Don'ts (Preview) I went to a face to face meeting on Tuesday night and this was read. Very powerful. The Al-Anon Do's and Don'tsDO:Do forgiveDo be humbleDo take it easy tension is harmfulDo play find recreation and hobbiesDo keep on trying whenever you failDo learn the facts about alcoholismDo attend Al-Anon mee...	Jen61	4	9356	Mar 29, 2013 by Hoot Nanny
	help!! new to all of THIS (Preview) Hi everyone..so glad to have found this community of support...I'm new to all of "THIS". I started dating this wonderful man whom I had known in my community in June 2012 not knowing he was alcoholic...and not knowing the least thing about alcoholism..I don't drink..never have, didn't...	Hopeful925	6	313	Mar 29, 2013 by canadianguy
	Who is he now? Do I even like him? (Preview) From what I've read, when an alcoholic is recovering they become a new person. They reconstruct themselves as they are without the alcohol. I'm 99% sure my AH has been sober for about 4 weeks. Still working on myself and getting off the crazy-train/roller coaster. The thing I'm really strugglin...	SpiderArcana	8	473	Mar 29, 2013 by Giggleball
	How to detach with love? Alcoholic daughter (Preview) My 32 year old alcoholic daughter associates with other alcoholics (they meet at least 5 nights a week at bars, plus they meet for lunch and sometimes at homes to drink at other times). All their get togethers involve hours and hours of drinking. She feels they are just having fun and what they are doi...	lgnutah	9	1202	Mar 29, 2013 by lgnutah
	My 2 A's (Husband & Mom) (Preview) At the top of my lungs i want to scream! I hate this feeling I have inside. It's empty! My 2 A's are my husband and my mom. Husbandbeen seperated 18 monthsmiss him tremendouslyhe's in treatment 45 days cleani'm going see him this weekend Momboundary- i don't go to her house after work, don't wanna be ar...	Sincerely	2	276	Mar 29, 2013 by Tracy
	She is sick, sick, sick (Preview) We come home from vacation to find our AD got fired from her job a few weeks ago and has been hiding that fact from us. My husband was not in the room when she confided this to me, and she just curled up in a ball and kept crying and crying, saying that is not the worst part . I know better than this after almost 3...	LeenieBeanie	7	747	Mar 29, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	He's drinking already! (Preview) Two days out of the hospital and my son is already drinking. This time it hurts. I'm hurt. He is so depressed and hurting so much I'm afraid he is not going to make it. My "what ifs " kicked in big time. I'm scared and fear for his life right now. I am trying to let it pass but I had to write som...	Cathyinaz	12	512	Mar 29, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Here we go again. (Preview) I am tired. As I know so many others are. I posted a few days ago, and here I am again anxious and scared. after a calm 3 days, today he went to his mother's house having said he would be back here between 6.30 and 7 pm. I sent him a text saying food would be ready at 7.30 and he phoned to say he'd be back at 7.45. No s...	Sun sun	2	266	Mar 29, 2013 by dponlyme
	All the chaos that can fit in one day... (Preview) I wrote about my AH being drunk at 8:00 yesterday. Well, apparently he just kept drinking. I got a call from his grandmother at 1:00 PM telling me that he had fallen and he had a big knot on his head. She wanted me to come over to look at it, and I told her that it wouldn't do any good for me to be there, and that if...	lnc12	10	392	Mar 29, 2013 by MeTwo2
	Some pictures to brighten your day! (Preview) Have found myself much happier doing what is innately me, a bit of rehab and rescue. A gal and her family are rening the 20 acres across the road from me. She has everything...they are all sooo sweet and healthy. I ended up rescuing Augy my Berkshire/guinea hog mix. He is gorgious, won't be as big as a regu...	Debilyn	4	326	Mar 29, 2013 by Breakingfree
	AW is struggling mentally and I am frustrated (Preview) My AW is having a really hard time mentally right now.. I see alot of depression and thinking errors going on but I am frustrated that it always ends up with her being angry with me. Yesterday she woke me up and asked if she could take my NEW tablet outside so she could listen to music while she cooked on the...	dponlyme	4	336	Mar 29, 2013 by Jerry F
	She kicked off again ! (Preview) Hi all Well my AW kicked off again on Sunday,she went into total meltdown while the kids where still up.I tried to get her to stop as I hate the kids to see her like that but I was talking to the wall.I remembered the steps and tried with all my heart to stay calm but when she kept on screaming at me over and over...	gorby928	5	471	Mar 29, 2013 by gorby928
	Whoa...I HAVE changed (Preview) So the exA called me tonight to tell me how concerned he is about our kids...playing too many video games, and my 16 yo not doing well in school. The exA is telling me all these things I need to do...and that it's probably "too late" to turn things around for my 16yo. He says "you are so bus...	rehprof	7	468	Mar 29, 2013 by Pushka
	He will never be clean (Preview) And so that's it. But I still feel like it's out of my control how soon all this ends. Tuesday morning I called his probation officer's boss and told her everything. Just the right time apparently. Unfortunately his probation officer actually died 3 weeks ago. So he was going to be reassigned an...	NicoleDiver	1	278	Mar 29, 2013 by lgnutah
	Patience (Preview) I am struggling w/ being patient & compassionate. I just want it to happen now--whatever it is! I am having a pretty good day today. I need a nap, though. I have been struggling w/ yesterday's reading in Hope for Today. It was talking about having compassion for others. My mom is my toughest one. Tha...	Hoot Nanny	1	208	Mar 28, 2013 by Sincerely
	i am working on 'SIMPLE' and 'TRUST' (Preview) I noticed that my trust got hurt the most in my history with the A. trust in myself and my 'judgments' of situations and people, and trust in others not to hurt me. it has a lot to do with my expectations. I somewhat expected heathy nehavior from unhealthy people, including myself. Well, than life opene...	tortuga	5	440	Mar 28, 2013 by dponlyme
	Case Dismissed (Preview) Today was his trial date. The case was dismissed, after both he and I spoke with the prosecutor (individually), and I also spoke with the court advocate. I could have shared lots of information about his alcoholism, and insisted that he be sentenced to a court-ordered treatment program. (This was ad...	ParisMemories	4	741	Mar 28, 2013 by tiredtonite
	I Detach and he drinks more and more (Preview) One of my books .. Think it was getting them sober... Talks about living your own life and I kind of have. I've been doin my sons baseball practices. And helping update an older home my daughter just bought. Which I've stayed at twice when my ah pulled drunk nights and I just didn't wanna deal with it. An...	sweeetr	8	383	Mar 28, 2013 by el-cee
	detachment is hard (Preview) So when I started this journey to make myself better, I had no idea it would make things so much harder. I thought I would change and he would just magically change . . . I thought it would shift the balance and if I was saner, he would be saner. Not yet. So I'm listening to people say: look after yourself, m...	forestfairy	9	475	Mar 28, 2013 by Aloha
	My mom and I had a fairly cathartic talk today (Preview) My mom and I had a pretty good carthartic talk tonight... I told her I was sorry for the regretful things that I had said to her because I was so upset and angry over her drinking. Is this one of the Twelve Steps? making amends? she asked me if I thought she had gotten better I said yes and no. She's going bac...	phoenixmagicgirl	6	303	Mar 28, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	Adam Corolla on Change (Preview) I loved this video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9G3xufj3Z4	Temple	0	373	Mar 27, 2013 by Temple
	alanon and professionals... (Preview) Things are going okay at the moment. In my home Alanon group I felt we needed to have a business and consciance meeting, fairly regularly.When my turn to chair a meeting came around, I bought this up. it seemed to bring up a lof of conflict. I was frightened of losing the group- or rather losing my respec...	DavidG	4	337	Mar 27, 2013 by hotrod
	How to Stop the Negative Thinking (Preview) Okay, how can we help an addict to stop with being so negative? AH is in treatment right now and in some days, he seems fine but in some days, he's so negative about everything. He keeps thinking he's really ruined and there's no cure and there's no hope. He goes to his outpatient addictions treatment cl...	Clueless Optimist	8	1150	Mar 28, 2013 by maryjane
	dealing with friends of the family coming to visit (Preview) A week from this Thursday, we are having family friends visit us from FL. As if there isn't enough tension in the house already between my mom and dad....now we have company coming...should we pretend like nothing is wrong with my mom or should we have an intervention of sorts...from my experience wit...	phoenixmagicgirl	2	326	Mar 27, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	When someone shows you who they are .. (Preview) Believe them. I have spent soooo much time believing what someone tells me that when they show me who they are I can't wrap my pea brain around the fact they are probably being honest about their actions vs their words. I have had a good laugh at myself over the past couple of days. One of them is the fact...	Pushka	12	670	Mar 27, 2013 by Flame
	more pics... (Preview) Its so neat hearing cows, goats, horses, my guineas love it. feels like eden again. OH and wild ducks in the pond!i Um brought in some straw for the guinea pigs, Augy pig thought it was for him...August Ronan McPhate. tory is the horse. The gal tried to help her but its too much. So she is mine. Dickens the p...	Debilyn	1	380	Mar 27, 2013 by Tracy
	He's drinking in the mornings now (Preview) Well, it's 8:30 AM here where I live. I got a call from our tax assessor as I was leaving work remindining me that March 28th is the last day that we can homestead our house. She didn't have my AH's number for some reason. Well the house was left to my AH when his father died, and it is still in his father's name...	lnc12	2	378	Mar 27, 2013 by Tracy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.