I was feeling nauseated this past day and stayed in bed all day and slept.  Feel better now but skipped counseling which sucks.  AW wants me to take her to the store after 10 pm and since I don't have a car I would have to borrow my mothers car and she had already went to bed.  AW throws tantrum because I refuse to go rooting around in her room looking for her keys.  Not drunk. Just wants what she wants when she wants it or vows to aggravate me the rest of the night.  Afterall if she does not get what she wants when she wants it then why should anybody have any peace she figures.  I was in no mood to put up with her sh^t.  I wasn't feeling well physically and have been down in the dumps also.  Thankfully she finally tired of trying to irritate me (trying to get me to react so we could fight).  All of this bull$%it because she might have to do without sodas tomorrow(today now I guess as it is almost 3am) till 4:30 pm.  That's really worth fighting over.  Meantime I'm struggling with real issues I'm having in my head with getting employment, doing something about the plumbing which is backing up into the basement, trying to parent our children, keeping the house clean and the dishes washed (If I don't do it then nobody else lifts a finger).  I am just so frustrated that she gets so angry when she doesn't get her way about every little thing.  When she doesn't then she starts making up crap that I've supposedly done to sleight her to manipulate me into getting what she wants.  She really is a master manipulator.  I just stuck to my guns and then kept away from her as best as I could. I do love her unconditionally but I am getting to the point where I just don't really want to be around her.  I just want to have a little control over my own life and make my own decisions instead of having to always take her selfish bu#@sh#t  into account.  I am sick to death of her harping about us having to pay for my gym membership.  I am sick to death of her always harping on me about whatever she sees as a sleight to her such as what happened this past night.  "You wont even do the simplest things I ask of you" she'll say the next time she doesn't get her way. I am sick to death of having her and her alcoholism as a weight around my neck.  Sometimes I wish she would just up and leave me so i could just have peace.  I know all of my problems would not be solved by this but at least then I could be free to do what I want to do without having to explain everything to her... Like why I need the gym membership.  It's funny how she can gripe about $30 a month for something good for me but I am just supposed to go along with her spending well more than that on buying alcohol, weed, spice, getting her nails done, buying crap that she doesn't need like the never ending diet soda supply that she requires.  I'm surprised she doesn't bitch about me drinking tap water. thanks for letting me rant.  Better to get it out here than on her.