Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t53694731/alanon-step-4/-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 15th of May 2013 11:24:10 AM

dponlyme · dponlyme

I read the latest responses to my last post. Jerry F. PP, Elcee and my first inclination was that it made me a little angry. Especially yours PP. But then I thought about it and realized that you were just being honest with me and it just happened to be something I didn't want to hear. No I suppose I'm not alr...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Wow.....not even 24 hours after getting out of Detox........he's drinking and calls me to boot. Anyways.......I had a great time tonight at my Woman's Group meeting. PS: I don't know why I posted this. I guess I was a little upset him calling me in the middle of the night accusing me of coming into h...

John · John

Just sat here reading some post this morning... Wow, someone else asked for support and I read the replies to them and it supported me! What a great way to start this day! Things are going well on my end for the most part. Nothing is happening outside of the space of the imaginary whoola hoop around my wa...

rookie95 · rookie95

My ABF has been home from rehab for 24 hours and I have already accused him of drinking again. I found an empty water bottle in the garage while getting my son's toys out this afternoon. The water bottle is the way that he used to drink his vodka on the train on the way home from work. He swears that it was l...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I just read a post from Glad Lee talking about triangulation - it hit home, but I didn't want to hijack the thread so I'm starting my own. Triangulation ... where one family member will not communicate directly with another family member regarding an issue, but will instead communicate with a third fa...

hope4ever · hope4ever

I am so happy that I found a sponsor last night!! :) I have been asking my HP to reveal someone to me who would be a better fit for me than the last woman I had. This lady is in both programs, she has a sponsor, she has done the steps, and she is a really positive and warm person (I needed to find a sponsor who I fe...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

2 years ago my AM was attacked by a man who was/is mentally ill. She dealt with PTSD for several months before seeking help with a PTSD therapist (to me there's nothing more disturbing than hearing your mom waking up scared because she's having flashbacks..it haunts me) and I'm so proud of her for doing...

daisy31 · daisy31

I just needed to write here on this board. It seems lately my childhood issues are popping up and I am feeling really sad and lonely. I notice that I use a couple of facebook groups to fill the void. I always feel like I am really supportive to others on the 2 groups that I am in but others really don't sup...

sandydv · sandydv

New here, kind of at the end of my rope, tired of living this life with an alcoholic husband (who also smokes pot). Hes a functioning alcoholic, but so tired of it, tired of coming home every day to someone either high or drunk, tired of having a conversation or making plans with him which is either forg...

pillarofstrength0706 · pillarofstrength0706

I'm new to al anon. My 6 mo sober AH is working working on his steps and will be soon making amends. I am most scared of more confessions of his infidelity. I know that it happened under my nose while I was with my kids in another room. I don't know if I can handle going back wards and learning more truth. Am I al...

dponlyme · dponlyme

I don't know what to think... my brain is scrambled. I blew up today and said some terrible things to her today. Gave her a real big dose of her own medicine. I know it wasnt right but it felt so good at the time. I told her she should kill herself and then asked her how that feels coming from the person that is s...

Aloha · Aloha

I've mentioned in response to another person's share that I've been going through some upheavals at my job lately. There are a select number of employees who've taken it badly and are acting out. I'm real grateful for my Al-Anon program, or I'd be jumping in and joining the crazy dance they're doing: p...

willowtree · willowtree

Hello all, I am in a small online group of about 20 ladies on yahoo and I have noticed a pattern of ladies who are posting their problems and are looking for support. It started out being fun and we talked about positive things and such and then really quickly it has changed to a now co-dependant pattern....

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

My AH is going to a daily AA meeting, and has for just over a month. Today is day 14 of no alcohol for him. We are getting along better, not arguing. We are far from perfect though. I am trying to LetGo and Let God, but some moments I just want to scream. I want so much for him to find the peace and joy of recovery,...

oldergal · oldergal

So is it my business when workers all have the same hours but some of them come in late, or go home early or taker longer breaks..the boss doesnt see them, but I do because I am centrally located. I try not to pay attention and just do my work, but then on the other hand is this fair, or am I from the old school an...

Pushka · Pushka

LOL .. I don't know why .. it's so funny or ironic in a not funny ha ha kind of way, .. the need for self validation when I keep looking for it outside. I want other people to tell me I'm ok .. when .. I go back to it's none of my business what other people think of me. If I want validation I gotta seek it out inside...

KLotus · KLotus

I filed this Winter. I obtained a protection order. He is fighting me on custody of our 3 year old. I am giving him back his house, and moving into a 2 bedroom apartment with my mother and child. I am afraid - because I feel I still love him. We cannot contact each other right now, due to the protection o...

dponlyme · dponlyme

I read the latest responses to my last post. Jerry F. PP, Elcee and my first inclination was that it made me a little angry. Especially yours PP. But then I thought about it and realized that you were just being honest with me and it just happened to be something I didn't want to hear. No I suppose I'm not alr...

Halo · Halo

Well I have found how I keep myself busy!Write short stories. Here is my first one(well second the first was to persoanl)! If you take the time to read it let me know what you think. The First Visit to Rehab I almost did not want to go. Maybe it was the 3.5 hour drive; maybe it was that I was fearful he would be t...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I have not been to this board for quite a while. A lot has been going on in my life and I am working on not being reactive (which really did sink me) and having lots of boundaries. Lately I have been having real issues with a friend of mine. He is a good friend. He has been"there" for me. I think...

rookie95 · rookie95

Today is the day that my ABF comes home from rehab. His mother is picking him up around 11 am EDT, and I think they are going back to her house. I know he wants to come back here and live with me and my son...and I told him that he could, only if he stayed sober. I told him that my first priority is my son and mys...

dponlyme · dponlyme

Sleeping on the floor again, not because she's drunk but because I can't stand to be next to her. The other night when she was drinking I came out to sleep on the floor to get away from her but around 5am she got up and came out to harass me. It came fairly close to physical blows... she was intrusive of my pers...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I made sure to add some A.A. references and Al-anon information for family members and I obviously didn't have a hard time writing this paper. Once I got going I was so glad to be able to bring awareness to my class especially where I live, this county is a very big drinking community. So I feel I did my part...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Hi y'all. Went to an open Alanon meeting yesterday (probably my 12th one) and while I enjoy being around all the kind people it doesn't feel completely right. Then last night went to an Alanon adult children meeting and that felt much better. i don't have an alcoholic child or spouse but as the daughte...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everybody: I am giving myself daily reminders that no matter what AH says, or what he says he will do, or what he says he'll never do again, I have to stick to the June 1 date which in he words, is like a ticking time bomb. He does not want to leave, is leaving against his will, I am forcing him out of his own f...

Photophreak · Photophreak

I am a newly sober drunk. I was sober for a few years and relapsed. As did my Husband. He is still drinking. I have never been to Alanon as we were both sober. I do know what In need to do. But am scared. Thanks

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

This is my first mother's day since my mom's death. It's been a half year now and this week Im going to her house to gather memories and things and say good-bye to my childhood home. My brother has been distant for many years and I've missed him. My mother gave him authority to settle her estate. I'm pr...

1976love · 1976love

Thank God I have a place like this to come to and vent. I do much better writing than expressing my feelings verbally and here I know it's safe and others understand. So since my AH was selfish enough to throw away 5 months of being sober because he doesn't like the thoughts that go on in his head without d...

el-cee · el-cee

My faith and hope is waning a bit. My son, 20, who is currently homeless has not been in touch for a few days and my doubts are creeping in. I wont let him stay with me for a few reasons that right now in my mind I keep countering with doubts. 1. He abuses drink and drugs - so does most young people where I live. Ho...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Hello. I need some feedback/E/S/H inre familial estrangement. Have or do any of the posters discovered themselves alienated from siblings (heavy drinkers) after the death or severe illness of a parent? About 5 years ago, my Dad(the remaining parent to my 9 siblings and me) suffered a stroke w...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Even though my mom is still alive, I struggle w/ mom's day because of my situation. I have bipolar disorder & basically can't have children. This is my problem: I am not very happy not having children especially on significant days like yesterday. I know that I probably " shouldn't" ha...

Lyne · Lyne

So I asked my spouse to get into recovery-AA, OA, or GA-she actually qualifies for all of them. I wrote it in an email sent to her CASAC and herself. Am I still controlling? I told her it is the only way to keep the marriage, but of course the choice is her's. She has chosen OA. I have given up checking up...

KLotus · KLotus

TODAY I found a letter and some paperwork from when my AH was in rehab for 30 days (a few years ago) - He was talking about how I was right to separate from him, how he was angry with himself, how he needed to change, and how he wanted to grow old together. What a struggle this was for me! At the exact moment wh...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I'm crying because I'm happy and sad all in one. I just got off the phone with my son. He admitted himself to Community Bridges Detox Center a couple of days ago after getting out of the hospital. Cut his face open and has a black eye. He called to wish me a Happy Mothers Day and that he loved me. He also wish...

wildrosejmj · wildrosejmj

Or, do you know of online support for those who are there caretakers? I'm trying to gather information and, like with anything, the more you read, the more questions you get sometimes. DH isn't at the point of repeating himself or anything yet, but has a host of other symptoms. As I don't anticipate...

lgnutah · lgnutah

Used to be I'd be promised she would come, but then would get a late afternoon call saying she wasn't coming after all because she had worked late and went out afterwards and was "too tired" to make the 2 hr drive..... Today not even a call (she doesn't work anymore, so it's probably just the &q...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I Skyped today with my daughter and her family who live in Texas and had dinner tonight with my other daughter and her fiance. And spent the daytime today with my mom. I feel very blessed but it was the first time ever that I did not hear from my youngest daughter, my AD. It was been almost 4 months now and my h...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I'm back up stairs in my room where I want to be. Boundarys have been set for the last time! Request that I stay in my room till I'm ready to accept that I'm working my program to get better to detatch . AH 6 month sober . Agrees to leave me be till I'm ready to accept him back in my life.. Snooping behavior is sti...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

My AM hasn't said to me that she's an A but from a conversation my brother told me he heard (concerning my AM and her best friend who was up visiting us weeks ago) were having my AM told her best friend that people have told my AM that she is an A and my AM acknowledges that she is an A, yet hasn't taken that seco...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am grateful member of al-anon. In 2 weeks it will be 3 years! Today, I want to share on something before I go to bed. It's something that I'm a little down on and right now I am looking to accept it but am having trouble. For my sanity, I am asking if maybe I should. I have...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I had a good day with my parents and children.. inspite of my AH acting an A$$ the whole time . I read and have started planning just in casue my one day at a time ends ,,, I am trading my dream sport car for a small suv..he all of a sudden has issue with this, I am setting my job etc to benefit me and am putting mone...

rookie95 · rookie95

Hi All! Hope you are all doing well. My ABF is scheduled to come home from rehab on Monday. He will have been there for 18 days (19 if you count Monday, but he's getting released around 11 am). I have pretty mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I feel happy and excited to have him home. On the other h...

Lou J · Lou J

Just sucks wondering if things will work out when mom gets out of rehab

sweeetr · sweeetr

I'm doin the best I possibly can to walk away from him when he's drinking. He got off at lunch and been drinking all day. Decided he would camp outside with our son and they set up tent. He kept goin back to store for thinks they need marshmallows etc. I said I was gonna let them have boy time and I went in house...

blondie99 · blondie99

My little doggie son is snoozing on his bed with his little stuffed animal this morning and I'm getting the house cleaned up for Mother's Day BBQ. The TV is on this morning - just for noise while I clean my house - and there was a news story about couples who choose not to have children and the stigma that com...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, my AH is really trying hard these days to be a family with us again. He's been pleasant, there's been no passive aggressive crud thrown my way, he's been communicative, and he's been very helpful and sweet around the house. We've been going to lunch weekly(past 2 weeks), the first lunch was disas...

almostgivenup · almostgivenup

Hi there! I know, it has been ages since my last post. A lot has transpired over the last few months. It has been a real roller coaster ride and it isn't over yet! My AH decided to sober up after being jailed in another state for public intoxication I left him there to fend for himself because in addit...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

The job interview that I was all in an uproar about could not have gone better. They didn't make a job offer but were asking about start dates, etc. so I feel really positive about it. I have a few more scheduled but this was the biggie and the first. I prayed for it to be an experience that made me more confi...

1976love · 1976love

Those self pity, loathing characteristics arrived again toady and unfortunately they consumed my AH. 5 months sober and he couldn't do it anymore. I told him if he starts drinking again, I would take the kids and we would go out so we don't have to deal with him when he is drinking. So here we are at my m...

oldergal · oldergal

Sorry, I guess I didn't add an important thing, (in my emotional state last night) I am the coordinator of 5 peoples appts, and when they arrive late or go out for a smoke, I am the one who has to deal with the person who has the appt and make excuses why the advisor is not ready to see them. I guess I look like th...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

alittle over 2 years ago when I found al-anon I was broken with no self esteem. I didn't have boundaries or even knew I should have boundaries. I was a miserable. dysfunctional, sad, victimized wreck of a young woman. I am so proud to say I will be 35 years old this month, I just passed this semeste...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

Ok, I usually write about the things I can change and what to put things into perspective: In this case I'm not dealing with an alcoholic or addict. So today I finished the rest of the divorce process.....I quit my job and will hopefully start a new one soon. I am wondering what to do in this situation??? W...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey Guys, I decided to seek out some outside help with my recovery as their are some things that I have learned through al-anon about myself that I feel I need some outside help with. The appointment is this morning but I made it about 2 weeks ago and today I feel great! What's the issue again? lol I can't se...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

First eye surgery on June 4th. Went for all the tests on Tuesday--now I wait. The surgery is RLE just like getting cataracts removed. I am excited but trying to live one day at a time. Breathe in breathe out. Searching for serenity in all of this. I have to travel 2 hrs. to get to the place where I will have th...

afglin · afglin

Today when I try to read the topics I get a wide toolbar on the right of related topics. I have to click the X and read a post. I open another and it is back. I tried to click the T on the other side and it tool me to a toolbar removal thing that had to be downloaded. I started to do that and got a warning from my compu...

LadyBug · LadyBug

With Mothers Day fast approaching i am full of so many feelings. My mother became an addict during my adult life. Our relationship has been strained, to say the least, since that time. I try to detachwith love but she does not allow that to happen. She wants to start fights, pretend she is not using and t...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I've been the scapegoat of my family since I was 12 and that, plus the fact that I was just "born sensitive" led me to a lifetime of suffering, drinking, drug use, unsafe sex, approval seeking, and shame. I'm 46 now and have been through the 12 steps as laid out in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anon...

forestfairy · forestfairy

I missed all the alanon meetings this week as I was taking seminars at the employment centre. Then Thursday I missed one of the seminars because my son wasn't feeling well and stayed home from school. So I rescheduled that one for the end of the month. I'm slowly coming to grips with how I will retrain an...

tiredof_it · tiredof_it

I am married to a man who has a drinking problem - whether he's an alcoholic or not...I don't know. My gut says yes as we have been married 20 years and have four children together. I come from a family of alcoholics too. Last year we almost divorced over the drinking but managed to eek in a few counseling...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Step Four (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t53694731/alanon-step-4/-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 15th of May 2013 11:24:10 AM	hotrod	4	264	May 16, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Support and making changes and insanity and f2f meetings (Preview) I read the latest responses to my last post. Jerry F. PP, Elcee and my first inclination was that it made me a little angry. Especially yours PP. But then I thought about it and realized that you were just being honest with me and it just happened to be something I didn't want to hear. No I suppose I'm not alr...	dponlyme	8	352	May 16, 2013 by dponlyme
	He's drinking (Preview) Wow.....not even 24 hours after getting out of Detox........he's drinking and calls me to boot. Anyways.......I had a great time tonight at my Woman's Group meeting. PS: I don't know why I posted this. I guess I was a little upset him calling me in the middle of the night accusing me of coming into h...	Cathyinaz	16	659	May 16, 2013 by Auntyaya
	Good Morning Everyone! (Preview) Just sat here reading some post this morning... Wow, someone else asked for support and I read the replies to them and it supported me! What a great way to start this day! Things are going well on my end for the most part. Nothing is happening outside of the space of the imaginary whoola hoop around my wa...	John	4	300	May 16, 2013 by bud
	Feeling Low (Preview) My ABF has been home from rehab for 24 hours and I have already accused him of drinking again. I found an empty water bottle in the garage while getting my son's toys out this afternoon. The water bottle is the way that he used to drink his vodka on the train on the way home from work. He swears that it was l...	rookie95	9	457	May 16, 2013 by ParisMemories
	Triangulation and dysfunction (Preview) I just read a post from Glad Lee talking about triangulation - it hit home, but I didn't want to hijack the thread so I'm starting my own. Triangulation ... where one family member will not communicate directly with another family member regarding an issue, but will instead communicate with a third fa...	White Rabbit	6	5372	May 15, 2013 by Jessica1111
	Yey! I found a sponsor last night! :) (Preview) I am so happy that I found a sponsor last night!! :) I have been asking my HP to reveal someone to me who would be a better fit for me than the last woman I had. This lady is in both programs, she has a sponsor, she has done the steps, and she is a really positive and warm person (I needed to find a sponsor who I fe...	hope4ever	2	316	May 15, 2013 by ilovedogs
	PTSD and drinking..dealing with my AM (Preview) 2 years ago my AM was attacked by a man who was/is mentally ill. She dealt with PTSD for several months before seeking help with a PTSD therapist (to me there's nothing more disturbing than hearing your mom waking up scared because she's having flashbacks..it haunts me) and I'm so proud of her for doing...	phoenixmagicgirl	5	538	May 15, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	I'm struggling today (Preview) I just needed to write here on this board. It seems lately my childhood issues are popping up and I am feeling really sad and lonely. I notice that I use a couple of facebook groups to fill the void. I always feel like I am really supportive to others on the 2 groups that I am in but others really don't sup...	daisy31	8	366	May 15, 2013 by daisy31
	Help, new here, living with an alcoholic is so hard to deal with. (Preview) New here, kind of at the end of my rope, tired of living this life with an alcoholic husband (who also smokes pot). Hes a functioning alcoholic, but so tired of it, tired of coming home every day to someone either high or drunk, tired of having a conversation or making plans with him which is either forg...	sandydv	4	387	May 15, 2013 by dponlyme
	amends (Preview) I'm new to al anon. My 6 mo sober AH is working working on his steps and will be soon making amends. I am most scared of more confessions of his infidelity. I know that it happened under my nose while I was with my kids in another room. I don't know if I can handle going back wards and learning more truth. Am I al...	pillarofstrength0706	2	303	May 15, 2013 by Jerry F
	Big blow up with AW today (Preview) I don't know what to think... my brain is scrambled. I blew up today and said some terrible things to her today. Gave her a real big dose of her own medicine. I know it wasnt right but it felt so good at the time. I told her she should kill herself and then asked her how that feels coming from the person that is s...	dponlyme	13	676	May 15, 2013 by giraffe13
	Observing scared, sabotaging behaviors (Preview) I've mentioned in response to another person's share that I've been going through some upheavals at my job lately. There are a select number of employees who've taken it badly and are acting out. I'm real grateful for my Al-Anon program, or I'd be jumping in and joining the crazy dance they're doing: p...	Aloha	3	346	May 15, 2013 by bud
	Is this co-dependant? (Preview) Hello all, I am in a small online group of about 20 ladies on yahoo and I have noticed a pattern of ladies who are posting their problems and are looking for support. It started out being fun and we talked about positive things and such and then really quickly it has changed to a now co-dependant pattern....	willowtree	4	547	May 14, 2013 by Jerry F
	Patience (Preview) My AH is going to a daily AA meeting, and has for just over a month. Today is day 14 of no alcohol for him. We are getting along better, not arguing. We are far from perfect though. I am trying to LetGo and Let God, but some moments I just want to scream. I want so much for him to find the peace and joy of recovery,...	ParisMemories	6	420	May 15, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Have a problem with co-workers (Preview) So is it my business when workers all have the same hours but some of them come in late, or go home early or taker longer breaks..the boss doesnt see them, but I do because I am centrally located. I try not to pay attention and just do my work, but then on the other hand is this fair, or am I from the old school an...	oldergal	12	713	May 15, 2013 by orchidlover
	Validation, Validation, Validation .. (Preview) LOL .. I don't know why .. it's so funny or ironic in a not funny ha ha kind of way, .. the need for self validation when I keep looking for it outside. I want other people to tell me I'm ok .. when .. I go back to it's none of my business what other people think of me. If I want validation I gotta seek it out inside...	Pushka	6	414	May 15, 2013 by orchidlover
	The choice to, and process of, divorcing the alcholic (Preview) I filed this Winter. I obtained a protection order. He is fighting me on custody of our 3 year old. I am giving him back his house, and moving into a 2 bedroom apartment with my mother and child. I am afraid - because I feel I still love him. We cannot contact each other right now, due to the protection o...	KLotus	8	367	May 15, 2013 by orchidlover
	Support and making changes and insanity and f2f meetings (Preview) I read the latest responses to my last post. Jerry F. PP, Elcee and my first inclination was that it made me a little angry. Especially yours PP. But then I thought about it and realized that you were just being honest with me and it just happened to be something I didn't want to hear. No I suppose I'm not alr...	dponlyme	2	253	May 15, 2013 by dponlyme
	Warning its long. (Preview) Well I have found how I keep myself busy!Write short stories. Here is my first one(well second the first was to persoanl)! If you take the time to read it let me know what you think. The First Visit to Rehab I almost did not want to go. Maybe it was the 3.5 hour drive; maybe it was that I was fearful he would be t...	Halo	3	274	May 15, 2013 by orchidlover
	controlling behavior (Preview) I have not been to this board for quite a while. A lot has been going on in my life and I am working on not being reactive (which really did sink me) and having lots of boundaries. Lately I have been having real issues with a friend of mine. He is a good friend. He has been"there" for me. I think...	orchidlover	7	363	May 15, 2013 by orchidlover
	Today Is The Day (Preview) Today is the day that my ABF comes home from rehab. His mother is picking him up around 11 am EDT, and I think they are going back to her house. I know he wants to come back here and live with me and my son...and I told him that he could, only if he stayed sober. I told him that my first priority is my son and mys...	rookie95	7	295	May 15, 2013 by rookie95
	AW abusive physically and verbally (Preview) Sleeping on the floor again, not because she's drunk but because I can't stand to be next to her. The other night when she was drinking I came out to sleep on the floor to get away from her but around 5am she got up and came out to harass me. It came fairly close to physical blows... she was intrusive of my pers...	dponlyme	11	465	May 15, 2013 by giraffe13
	My last school paper for the year was on alcoholism (Preview) I made sure to add some A.A. references and Al-anon information for family members and I obviously didn't have a hard time writing this paper. Once I got going I was so glad to be able to bring awareness to my class especially where I live, this county is a very big drinking community. So I feel I did my part...	Breakingfree	7	327	May 14, 2013 by Peggy7
	Feeling a lot better (Preview) Hi y'all. Went to an open Alanon meeting yesterday (probably my 12th one) and while I enjoy being around all the kind people it doesn't feel completely right. Then last night went to an Alanon adult children meeting and that felt much better. i don't have an alcoholic child or spouse but as the daughte...	WorkingThroughIt	4	285	May 14, 2013 by Breakingfree
	moveout getting closer, climate is intense (Preview) Hi Everybody: I am giving myself daily reminders that no matter what AH says, or what he says he will do, or what he says he'll never do again, I have to stick to the June 1 date which in he words, is like a ticking time bomb. He does not want to leave, is leaving against his will, I am forcing him out of his own f...	yanksfan51	7	497	May 14, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	New here (Preview) I am a newly sober drunk. I was sober for a few years and relapsed. As did my Husband. He is still drinking. I have never been to Alanon as we were both sober. I do know what In need to do. But am scared. Thanks	Photophreak	3	229	May 14, 2013 by PP
	Working on acceptance (Preview) This is my first mother's day since my mom's death. It's been a half year now and this week Im going to her house to gather memories and things and say good-bye to my childhood home. My brother has been distant for many years and I've missed him. My mother gave him authority to settle her estate. I'm pr...	tiredtonite	3	247	May 14, 2013 by tiredtonite
	frustrated (Preview) Thank God I have a place like this to come to and vent. I do much better writing than expressing my feelings verbally and here I know it's safe and others understand. So since my AH was selfish enough to throw away 5 months of being sober because he doesn't like the thoughts that go on in his head without d...	1976love	4	279	May 14, 2013 by ParisMemories
	How do you know your doing the right thing? (Preview) My faith and hope is waning a bit. My son, 20, who is currently homeless has not been in touch for a few days and my doubts are creeping in. I wont let him stay with me for a few reasons that right now in my mind I keep countering with doubts. 1. He abuses drink and drugs - so does most young people where I live. Ho...	el-cee	14	453	May 14, 2013 by grateful2be
	Questions inre familial estrangement (Preview) Hello. I need some feedback/E/S/H inre familial estrangement. Have or do any of the posters discovered themselves alienated from siblings (heavy drinkers) after the death or severe illness of a parent? About 5 years ago, my Dad(the remaining parent to my 9 siblings and me) suffered a stroke w...	grateful2be	11	393	May 14, 2013 by grateful2be
	sometimes mom's day is hard (Preview) Even though my mom is still alive, I struggle w/ mom's day because of my situation. I have bipolar disorder & basically can't have children. This is my problem: I am not very happy not having children especially on significant days like yesterday. I know that I probably " shouldn't" ha...	Hoot Nanny	1	279	May 14, 2013 by slogan_jim
	suggestion, not ultimatum (Preview) So I asked my spouse to get into recovery-AA, OA, or GA-she actually qualifies for all of them. I wrote it in an email sent to her CASAC and herself. Am I still controlling? I told her it is the only way to keep the marriage, but of course the choice is her's. She has chosen OA. I have given up checking up...	Lyne	6	557	May 13, 2013 by Mattie
	Need strength (Preview) TODAY I found a letter and some paperwork from when my AH was in rehab for 30 days (a few years ago) - He was talking about how I was right to separate from him, how he was angry with himself, how he needed to change, and how he wanted to grow old together. What a struggle this was for me! At the exact moment wh...	KLotus	9	328	May 13, 2013 by Breakingfree
	I got a Call for Mothers Day (Preview) I'm crying because I'm happy and sad all in one. I just got off the phone with my son. He admitted himself to Community Bridges Detox Center a couple of days ago after getting out of the hospital. Cut his face open and has a black eye. He called to wish me a Happy Mothers Day and that he loved me. He also wish...	Cathyinaz	8	493	May 13, 2013 by el-cee
	Has anyone here dealt with alcohol related dementia? (Preview) Or, do you know of online support for those who are there caretakers? I'm trying to gather information and, like with anything, the more you read, the more questions you get sometimes. DH isn't at the point of repeating himself or anything yet, but has a host of other symptoms. As I don't anticipate...	wildrosejmj	5	662	May 13, 2013 by wildrosejmj
	I ddn't get a call/card/visit from AD for Mothers Day (Preview) Used to be I'd be promised she would come, but then would get a late afternoon call saying she wasn't coming after all because she had worked late and went out afterwards and was "too tired" to make the 2 hr drive..... Today not even a call (she doesn't work anymore, so it's probably just the &q...	lgnutah	3	331	May 13, 2013 by PP
	Good Day/ Not So Good Day (Preview) I Skyped today with my daughter and her family who live in Texas and had dinner tonight with my other daughter and her fiance. And spent the daytime today with my mom. I feel very blessed but it was the first time ever that I did not hear from my youngest daughter, my AD. It was been almost 4 months now and my h...	Green Eyes	4	361	May 13, 2013 by Pushka
	Taking a break -detachment (Preview) I'm back up stairs in my room where I want to be. Boundarys have been set for the last time! Request that I stay in my room till I'm ready to accept that I'm working my program to get better to detatch . AH 6 month sober . Agrees to leave me be till I'm ready to accept him back in my life.. Snooping behavior is sti...	Ms co-dependent	4	346	May 13, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	How to be supportive to my AM? (Preview) My AM hasn't said to me that she's an A but from a conversation my brother told me he heard (concerning my AM and her best friend who was up visiting us weeks ago) were having my AM told her best friend that people have told my AM that she is an A and my AM acknowledges that she is an A, yet hasn't taken that seco...	phoenixmagicgirl	3	293	May 13, 2013 by el-cee
	Maybe I need to Let go and let god. Acceptance. (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am grateful member of al-anon. In 2 weeks it will be 3 years! Today, I want to share on something before I go to bed. It's something that I'm a little down on and right now I am looking to accept it but am having trouble. For my sanity, I am asking if maybe I should. I have...	slogan_jim	8	442	May 13, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Happy Moms Day and momma figure day (Preview) I had a good day with my parents and children.. inspite of my AH acting an A$$ the whole time . I read and have started planning just in casue my one day at a time ends ,,, I am trading my dream sport car for a small suv..he all of a sudden has issue with this, I am setting my job etc to benefit me and am putting mone...	sweeetr	2	245	May 13, 2013 by sweeetr
	Boyfriend coming home from rehab - mixed feelings (Preview) Hi All! Hope you are all doing well. My ABF is scheduled to come home from rehab on Monday. He will have been there for 18 days (19 if you count Monday, but he's getting released around 11 am). I have pretty mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I feel happy and excited to have him home. On the other h...	rookie95	6	2763	May 13, 2013 by grateful2be
	Being dad to 3 girls (Preview) Just sucks wondering if things will work out when mom gets out of rehab	Lou J	7	454	May 13, 2013 by Breakingfree
	I hate this and I stink at it. (Preview) I'm doin the best I possibly can to walk away from him when he's drinking. He got off at lunch and been drinking all day. Decided he would camp outside with our son and they set up tent. He kept goin back to store for thinks they need marshmallows etc. I said I was gonna let them have boy time and I went in house...	sweeetr	12	715	May 13, 2013 by sweeetr
	Dog Mom (Preview) My little doggie son is snoozing on his bed with his little stuffed animal this morning and I'm getting the house cleaned up for Mother's Day BBQ. The TV is on this morning - just for noise while I clean my house - and there was a news story about couples who choose not to have children and the stigma that com...	blondie99	3	340	May 13, 2013 by grateful2be
	Starting fresh, but handling anger/resentment (Preview) So, my AH is really trying hard these days to be a family with us again. He's been pleasant, there's been no passive aggressive crud thrown my way, he's been communicative, and he's been very helpful and sweet around the house. We've been going to lunch weekly(past 2 weeks), the first lunch was disas...	ilovedogs	9	464	May 12, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Seeking help/advice for today (Preview) Hi there! I know, it has been ages since my last post. A lot has transpired over the last few months. It has been a real roller coaster ride and it isn't over yet! My AH decided to sober up after being jailed in another state for public intoxication I left him there to fend for himself because in addit...	almostgivenup	8	406	May 12, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Great Interview!! (Preview) The job interview that I was all in an uproar about could not have gone better. They didn't make a job offer but were asking about start dates, etc. so I feel really positive about it. I have a few more scheduled but this was the biggie and the first. I prayed for it to be an experience that made me more confi...	wornoutmrsfixit	4	348	May 12, 2013 by Pushka
	5 months well played (Preview) Those self pity, loathing characteristics arrived again toady and unfortunately they consumed my AH. 5 months sober and he couldn't do it anymore. I told him if he starts drinking again, I would take the kids and we would go out so we don't have to deal with him when he is drinking. So here we are at my m...	1976love	5	334	May 12, 2013 by 1976love
	Edited Co-worker question (Preview) Sorry, I guess I didn't add an important thing, (in my emotional state last night) I am the coordinator of 5 peoples appts, and when they arrive late or go out for a smoke, I am the one who has to deal with the person who has the appt and make excuses why the advisor is not ready to see them. I guess I look like th...	oldergal	4	309	May 12, 2013 by el-cee
	There once was a girl who was born to A parents and grew up to marry an A and well once she found al-anon........ (Preview) alittle over 2 years ago when I found al-anon I was broken with no self esteem. I didn't have boundaries or even knew I should have boundaries. I was a miserable. dysfunctional, sad, victimized wreck of a young woman. I am so proud to say I will be 35 years old this month, I just passed this semeste...	Breakingfree	14	534	May 12, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	Starting to Trust again (Preview) Ok, I usually write about the things I can change and what to put things into perspective: In this case I'm not dealing with an alcoholic or addict. So today I finished the rest of the divorce process.....I quit my job and will hopefully start a new one soon. I am wondering what to do in this situation??? W...	RoseODAT	4	481	May 12, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Seeing a councelor today (Preview) Hey Guys, I decided to seek out some outside help with my recovery as their are some things that I have learned through al-anon about myself that I feel I need some outside help with. The appointment is this morning but I made it about 2 weeks ago and today I feel great! What's the issue again? lol I can't se...	slogan_jim	6	304	May 12, 2013 by grateful2be
	it is coming right along... (Preview) First eye surgery on June 4th. Went for all the tests on Tuesday--now I wait. The surgery is RLE just like getting cataracts removed. I am excited but trying to live one day at a time. Breathe in breathe out. Searching for serenity in all of this. I have to travel 2 hrs. to get to the place where I will have th...	Hoot Nanny	1	282	May 11, 2013 by el-cee
	annoying toolbar (Preview) Today when I try to read the topics I get a wide toolbar on the right of related topics. I have to click the X and read a post. I open another and it is back. I tried to click the T on the other side and it tool me to a toolbar removal thing that had to be downloaded. I started to do that and got a warning from my compu...	afglin	1	263	May 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	Mothers Day (Preview) With Mothers Day fast approaching i am full of so many feelings. My mother became an addict during my adult life. Our relationship has been strained, to say the least, since that time. I try to detachwith love but she does not allow that to happen. She wants to start fights, pretend she is not using and t...	LadyBug	2	266	May 11, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Making a Change Today w/Dysfunctional Family (Preview) I've been the scapegoat of my family since I was 12 and that, plus the fact that I was just "born sensitive" led me to a lifetime of suffering, drinking, drug use, unsafe sex, approval seeking, and shame. I'm 46 now and have been through the 12 steps as laid out in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anon...	WorkingThroughIt	8	586	May 11, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	feeling low (Preview) I missed all the alanon meetings this week as I was taking seminars at the employment centre. Then Thursday I missed one of the seminars because my son wasn't feeling well and stayed home from school. So I rescheduled that one for the end of the month. I'm slowly coming to grips with how I will retrain an...	forestfairy	3	286	May 11, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Not so bad, but bad for me (Preview) I am married to a man who has a drinking problem - whether he's an alcoholic or not...I don't know. My gut says yes as we have been married 20 years and have four children together. I come from a family of alcoholics too. Last year we almost divorced over the drinking but managed to eek in a few counseling...	tiredof_it	6	475	May 11, 2013 by ilovedogs
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.