Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

The job interview that I was all in an uproar about could not have gone better. They didn't make a job offer but were asking about start dates, etc. so I feel really positive about it. I have a few more scheduled but this was the biggie and the first. I prayed for it to be an experience that made me more confi...

1976love · 1976love

Those self pity, loathing characteristics arrived again toady and unfortunately they consumed my AH. 5 months sober and he couldn't do it anymore. I told him if he starts drinking again, I would take the kids and we would go out so we don't have to deal with him when he is drinking. So here we are at my m...

oldergal · oldergal

Sorry, I guess I didn't add an important thing, (in my emotional state last night) I am the coordinator of 5 peoples appts, and when they arrive late or go out for a smoke, I am the one who has to deal with the person who has the appt and make excuses why the advisor is not ready to see them. I guess I look like th...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

alittle over 2 years ago when I found al-anon I was broken with no self esteem. I didn't have boundaries or even knew I should have boundaries. I was a miserable. dysfunctional, sad, victimized wreck of a young woman. I am so proud to say I will be 35 years old this month, I just passed this semeste...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

Ok, I usually write about the things I can change and what to put things into perspective: In this case I'm not dealing with an alcoholic or addict. So today I finished the rest of the divorce process.....I quit my job and will hopefully start a new one soon. I am wondering what to do in this situation??? W...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey Guys, I decided to seek out some outside help with my recovery as their are some things that I have learned through al-anon about myself that I feel I need some outside help with. The appointment is this morning but I made it about 2 weeks ago and today I feel great! What's the issue again? lol I can't se...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

First eye surgery on June 4th. Went for all the tests on Tuesday--now I wait. The surgery is RLE just like getting cataracts removed. I am excited but trying to live one day at a time. Breathe in breathe out. Searching for serenity in all of this. I have to travel 2 hrs. to get to the place where I will have th...

afglin · afglin

Today when I try to read the topics I get a wide toolbar on the right of related topics. I have to click the X and read a post. I open another and it is back. I tried to click the T on the other side and it tool me to a toolbar removal thing that had to be downloaded. I started to do that and got a warning from my compu...

LadyBug · LadyBug

With Mothers Day fast approaching i am full of so many feelings. My mother became an addict during my adult life. Our relationship has been strained, to say the least, since that time. I try to detachwith love but she does not allow that to happen. She wants to start fights, pretend she is not using and t...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I've been the scapegoat of my family since I was 12 and that, plus the fact that I was just "born sensitive" led me to a lifetime of suffering, drinking, drug use, unsafe sex, approval seeking, and shame. I'm 46 now and have been through the 12 steps as laid out in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anon...

forestfairy · forestfairy

I missed all the alanon meetings this week as I was taking seminars at the employment centre. Then Thursday I missed one of the seminars because my son wasn't feeling well and stayed home from school. So I rescheduled that one for the end of the month. I'm slowly coming to grips with how I will retrain an...

tiredof_it · tiredof_it

I am married to a man who has a drinking problem - whether he's an alcoholic or not...I don't know. My gut says yes as we have been married 20 years and have four children together. I come from a family of alcoholics too. Last year we almost divorced over the drinking but managed to eek in a few counseling...

blondie99 · blondie99

It took some time for the courts to find the papers today in the piles and piles of divorce decrees, but I've got them in my hot little hands...it's over and done. Divorce is final. I've been going to Al-Anon meetings every day this week because I knew this day would come. I'm feeling angry and sad and disa...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

As I come to work every morning I drive down the freeway and always go past the Calvary Chuch that has this big sign with different messages on it everyday. I have come to look at it for my message from God for that day. Some days I don't get to see it because of maybe a truck in the way or I forget. I think.....

Delilah88 · Delilah88

I have an alcoholic boyfriend who I have dated for about 2 years. We have lived together for about a year and a half. His drinking has been a problem for most of our relationship. We have gone through so many times of him 'getting sober' or getting help. I know he always did it for me to get me off of his back ab...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Here we go again. I'm trying my best to do what I can do to change my habits. There not bad habits its more like a routine . I am sacrfising alot to make things peaceful at home . If you all have been reading my post then you know I have a ah sober 6 months now with a major control problem. There is no easy way out fo...

el-cee · el-cee

My 22 yr old daughter moved in with me today. Im happy with this. I have not lived with her since she was 17/18. She chose to stay with her Dad when I left. She is a hard working girl, well balanced considering she is the child of an alcoholic. Anyway, her stuff is here and now I am feeling unbalanced, a bit anx...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I don't know what to say other than I am frustrated and disgusted at the fact that I am back in the SAME PLACE with my AB like 3 months ago. He went through this I can control my drinking phase, 14 times over the course of 2 and a half years of dating, and finally in February he decided to go to AA, which then tur...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Evening all I got the crisis call but it wasn't from my son it was from my X asking me what to do. His son is so so sick and can't even get up off the couch at this point. I just told him that his son didn't call me because I said to never call me again when he is sick, in withdrawals and needs a hospital becau...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Today at work we had a 'Town Hall meeting'. The Director for our department came in an updated us on what was happening and our productivity results etc.... There was no bad news but he was dodging some questions about outsourcing. I didn't interpret this meeting as anything bad, but as per everyone el...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

For so long I have come to the rescue of my son. He would call all hours and beg for me to help him.I would rush to his side and scoop him up and bring him to the ER.I would sit for hours waiting if they were going to keep him or transfer him to detox. If they kept him, I'd give him a hug, tell him I would be back in...

taurus86 · taurus86

Need help with all the resentment i have towards the recovering alcholic in my life. he has drank 3 times that i know of in 3.5 months as he is recovering i encouraged him to enroll in college to persue his dreams as i do not drink to support his sobriety. but i am seriously at my witts end i have been with him f...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

I have a few interviews scheduled for next week. It's been a while since I have had to go on one and I am now remembering how nervous these type of situations make me even though I am confident in my ability to handle the job itself and usually do much better at these type of things than I envision. It just tak...

dponlyme · dponlyme

Trolling around and reading posts... I am lost. don't know what else to say.

scaredandconfused · scaredandconfused

My stbxah just called to tell me that he has been losing the sight in his right eye and he thinks he will be dead within 3 years. He wanted me to know that he is keeping me as the benficiary of his life insurance. I have so many different emotions going on right now. Part of me feels like he is being manipulativ...

atheos · atheos

I tried a new meeting this afternoon, and arrived late due to trouble finding the building. They'd already finished the reading and started sharing. I tried to signal to the woman running the meeting to please pass me the daily reader they were using, but she wouldn't. Which would have been fine, if th...

lbegcgpg · lbegcgpg

I am new to this site but needing support, comfort and advice...I have been in a relationship with a addict now for 3 years... he is currently in a IP rehab.. he was clean for the first two years that we were together but relapsed 7 months ago... i snooped and found out that he had been cheating, lying, stea...

Halo · Halo

Hello all, I never thought I would find myself here. But alas I am sure none of us did. My AH is in Rehab for 22 days, both of our first times dealing with this, and I am almost not sure what to do with myself?! I work full time, have a great career, finances are all caught up (now), the house is spotless. I have...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

PP · PP

Asking for prayers and support for today as we go to court to face a man who believes we owe him money. I engaged in many attempts to reason with him until I realized the efforts were futile..I told him to go ahead and do what he needed to do. I am in gratitude for the tools of al anon and recognize that I am of...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi MiP Family 5-6-7 The month, the day and the year that my son lost his battle with alcoholism . Thank God for alanon and the tools. I would not have survived otherwise. Stephen always in my heart

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

Today and more recently in the past week or so, I've been getting more frustrated, angry and tired of dealing with the constant craziness that is living with my AM. I'm short tempered with my family members, especially my AM. I'm going to meetings, my dad and I went to one last night. :). I'm remembering...

Agressive Family Member · heredia1

Hi I have a brother who has a drink problem. Himself and his family come to stay with us a few times a year for upto 10 days or so a time. Hes a binge drinker and is quite agressive by nature. We had a big argument the other night and he started to get physical with me. I didnt react to the provocation, not physic...

norasq · norasq

I separated from my AH (still drinking, denying there's a problem) 3 months ago. We have a 17 year old daughter. Yesterday I emailed him to check on some August dates when I have the opportunity to travel for work for a 2 week period. (It's a great opportunity, something i'm excited about, and it would...

beginnow · beginnow

I am new to this site and looking for connection. I just had my 3rd year anniversary in Alanon. I am almost done with Blueprint for Progress. I have learned so much about myself from the 4th step and am truly grateful for it! I have a great sponsor that is willing to keep working with me even though she h...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

At Easter this year I was given a last minute second-hand invitation to my brother's house (out of state) and could not get everything together in time to go, nor was I going to accept it. So I stayed home. They all knew how hurt I was but I was really not surprised - I have known for a few years that I've been t...

shimo · shimo

MONDAY MORNING MEETING 9AM (EST) - TOPICS: The 3 C's (I didn't cause it, I cannot cure it,I cannot control it), etc. Meeting scheduled in the Al-Anon chat room. TOPICS: The 3 C's (I didn't cause it, I cannot cure it, I cannot control it) Changed attitudes can aid recovery ...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi All: I have a few friends who suggested that instead of giving AH a moveout date (June 1),said to tell him to stay somewhere else until he had his own apt. Now I can see why! I have been trying to do this the civil way, and at this point our kids are not aware of what's happening so that is on the brain as wel...

Bondjamesbond · Bondjamesbond

After at least three years of unresolved anger, which resulted in consistent nagging and anger towards me for not seeing her point of view on nearly everything or being just like her, my wife of 15 years at my urging and her own acceptance rejoined Al-anon after an absecence of at least a decade, got a sp...

alanonnewbiew · alanonnewbiew

Hi everyone, I'm writing this to reach out to others and seek any advice/helpful words/support/book recommendations. Like many others here, I grew up with an alcoholic parent. My father would try to hide his drinking from the family by drinking in the garage. But even as a child, I knew what he was doi...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

My dad and I still have 2 more meetings to go until we get to 6...but I wanted to know when can you ask to have a sponser and how do I go about doing this? Thanks

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Please give me my high power back I had him for one day to get me by and it seams now I'm walking down a empty path . This morning a back rub leads to yada yada . When ah sober no I don't want to.. He is selfish and thinks of his needs. Just when he said he change work on the controlling behaviors and god if you could...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I have been going to a Counciler (for me!) he is wonderful. He's like my face to face and I intend on bringing my son. I'm trying to learn how to parent better being married to active ah. And also my son has strong addiction running on both sides of his biological parents and I want him to have help learning t...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

My son's graduation from high school is in a month, today I thought, well I should be sending out invitations to friends and we should have a dinner at my house after the graduation at 1 p.m. don't know how long it will be. I will have my new furniture by then and have a few friends I would like to invite over....

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

Since my last posting, I really had no choice but to leave.....again.....for the 5th time in 7 years. However, what's done had to have been done, and for that I am proud. I love the guy, but finally filed for divorce. No matter how much he is against the divorce, I can only protect the babies, myself, and f...

Sincerely · Sincerely

WOW! 11 years married today. My husband and I have spent most of our 11 years of marriage seperated (i'm pretty sure). Most of the 11 years has been more bad times than good times. Today, its good. He's sober and actively working the program. Will it be always? I dunno. But today I am grateful we are ha...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My first eye appt. for surgery is tomorrow--I am nervous & excited! It seems there are possibilities that there will be complications possibly. I just hope that I will have faith that it won't go wrong. The date of the surgery is not yet set. I am anxious about setting a date. Also, out of 3 possibili...

jitsuka · jitsuka

How do people deal with the issue of sex? My partner is an A. She drinks secretly upstairs in the bedroom - even though I know and she knows. I find the empties hidden away. Vodka/ wine. Sometimes she approaches me sexually. I cringe and just sit there. She sits awkwardly and then goes back to bed. I feel vi...

SoberGirl · SoberGirl

I have made the decision to cut off contact with my alcoholic and meth-addicted father. He is lost in paranoid, meth-psychosis delusions of persecution, and only wants to talk about those. Every time we speak on the phone, we get into an argument and he verbally abuses me because I do not believe his fa...

Pushka · Pushka

This isn't an AA deal however it was interesting to watch, .. very honestly I had NO idea how Celebrate Recovery works. That part was pretty educational, .. I really enjoyed learning something new. What I really liked about the movie is the depiction of alcoholism as a disease and the victim mentali...

PP · PP

Thank you all for your support. We had our mediation today at the courthouse. After much reflection, I was comfortable in my discomfort (regarding this type of conflict...or any conflict) that there would be nothing for us to mediate. We were dealing with pride, greed and one angry man (former t...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

It is a lovely day today in my part of the world. The trees and flowers are blooming. The sun is shining. The birds are singing. I took my sweet dog for a big long walk this morning and enjoyed seeing the ducks and geese swimming at the nearby pond. AH is on Day 8 of sobriety, I am working my program, trying ver...

Rutabaga · Rutabaga

hi all i'm new(ish) here and could really use some support. my (sober) alcoholic met my parents for the first time this weekend, and in two conversations casually let slip that she's planning/considering moving out of state. this was news to me, and something that is happening because i told her i wa...

rehprof · rehprof

I've been wrestling with something this morning....sometimes I teach an extra course in May so I can make ends meet. This time the course didn't have enough students in it...so it will be cancelled. So far, I've been able to scrape through financially. ExA is buying guns, bought the 10 yo a crossbow an...

Lay · Lay

Hello again, everyone! I want to thank you for your warm welcomes! I have found some Al-Anon meeting places, and plan to attend my first one Friday afternoon! I am looking forward to it very much. In the mean time, my counselor gave me some workbooks on codependency for me to work through. I got to a secti...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi~I've told my spouse I cannot exist in our relationship any longer unless she goes to recovery herself. I'm trying to find a list of live meetings for her and I just keep finding rehabs and other related topics. What do I search to find local meetings where I live? Thanks, Lyne

Jewel1 · Jewel1

My husband is bipolar and over the 25 years of our marriage has amused cocaine and crack to "self medicate". That is what my two boys grew up in the middle of. The three of us shared the hurt, pain, anger and financial crisis that are part of the reality of growing up with an addict. He has been st...

ryanhearted · ryanhearted

I am coming back to Al-anon and hope to get to some f2f meetings in the near future. I am currently looking for support with my 8 year old daughter. My problem is setting boundaries with my AH when he is in charge of the care of my daughter. He was sober for 14 years, and for the last year and a half, has been ste...

HappyToBe · HappyToBe

For last 3 days I have been feeling rather drained to the very last drop of energy. I am so tired I could cry at any given moment if I see a suitable shoulder. I have short focus span and I am acting out on my addictions or feel very prone to do so. I've spent whole afternoon in lovely company of my friends, yet...

Pushka · Pushka

The post about the whole obsessivness of it all .. boy did that get me thinking this AM. I really have to bring myself into the present and remember if I am so focused on what he is or isn't doing I'm not paying attention to my own needs and what I need to be doing. I will be soooo very happy to get this divorce...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Great Interview!! (Preview) The job interview that I was all in an uproar about could not have gone better. They didn't make a job offer but were asking about start dates, etc. so I feel really positive about it. I have a few more scheduled but this was the biggie and the first. I prayed for it to be an experience that made me more confi...	wornoutmrsfixit	4	285	May 12, 2013 by Pushka
	5 months well played (Preview) Those self pity, loathing characteristics arrived again toady and unfortunately they consumed my AH. 5 months sober and he couldn't do it anymore. I told him if he starts drinking again, I would take the kids and we would go out so we don't have to deal with him when he is drinking. So here we are at my m...	1976love	5	272	May 12, 2013 by 1976love
	Edited Co-worker question (Preview) Sorry, I guess I didn't add an important thing, (in my emotional state last night) I am the coordinator of 5 peoples appts, and when they arrive late or go out for a smoke, I am the one who has to deal with the person who has the appt and make excuses why the advisor is not ready to see them. I guess I look like th...	oldergal	4	248	May 12, 2013 by el-cee
	There once was a girl who was born to A parents and grew up to marry an A and well once she found al-anon........ (Preview) alittle over 2 years ago when I found al-anon I was broken with no self esteem. I didn't have boundaries or even knew I should have boundaries. I was a miserable. dysfunctional, sad, victimized wreck of a young woman. I am so proud to say I will be 35 years old this month, I just passed this semeste...	Breakingfree	14	473	May 12, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	Starting to Trust again (Preview) Ok, I usually write about the things I can change and what to put things into perspective: In this case I'm not dealing with an alcoholic or addict. So today I finished the rest of the divorce process.....I quit my job and will hopefully start a new one soon. I am wondering what to do in this situation??? W...	RoseODAT	4	421	May 12, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Seeing a councelor today (Preview) Hey Guys, I decided to seek out some outside help with my recovery as their are some things that I have learned through al-anon about myself that I feel I need some outside help with. The appointment is this morning but I made it about 2 weeks ago and today I feel great! What's the issue again? lol I can't se...	slogan_jim	6	241	May 12, 2013 by grateful2be
	it is coming right along... (Preview) First eye surgery on June 4th. Went for all the tests on Tuesday--now I wait. The surgery is RLE just like getting cataracts removed. I am excited but trying to live one day at a time. Breathe in breathe out. Searching for serenity in all of this. I have to travel 2 hrs. to get to the place where I will have th...	Hoot Nanny	1	222	May 11, 2013 by el-cee
	annoying toolbar (Preview) Today when I try to read the topics I get a wide toolbar on the right of related topics. I have to click the X and read a post. I open another and it is back. I tried to click the T on the other side and it tool me to a toolbar removal thing that had to be downloaded. I started to do that and got a warning from my compu...	afglin	1	199	May 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	Mothers Day (Preview) With Mothers Day fast approaching i am full of so many feelings. My mother became an addict during my adult life. Our relationship has been strained, to say the least, since that time. I try to detachwith love but she does not allow that to happen. She wants to start fights, pretend she is not using and t...	LadyBug	2	207	May 11, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Making a Change Today w/Dysfunctional Family (Preview) I've been the scapegoat of my family since I was 12 and that, plus the fact that I was just "born sensitive" led me to a lifetime of suffering, drinking, drug use, unsafe sex, approval seeking, and shame. I'm 46 now and have been through the 12 steps as laid out in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anon...	WorkingThroughIt	8	522	May 11, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	feeling low (Preview) I missed all the alanon meetings this week as I was taking seminars at the employment centre. Then Thursday I missed one of the seminars because my son wasn't feeling well and stayed home from school. So I rescheduled that one for the end of the month. I'm slowly coming to grips with how I will retrain an...	forestfairy	3	224	May 11, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Not so bad, but bad for me (Preview) I am married to a man who has a drinking problem - whether he's an alcoholic or not...I don't know. My gut says yes as we have been married 20 years and have four children together. I come from a family of alcoholics too. Last year we almost divorced over the drinking but managed to eek in a few counseling...	tiredof_it	6	410	May 11, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Free at last (Preview) It took some time for the courts to find the papers today in the piles and piles of divorce decrees, but I've got them in my hot little hands...it's over and done. Divorce is final. I've been going to Al-Anon meetings every day this week because I knew this day would come. I'm feeling angry and sad and disa...	blondie99	4	430	May 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	Good Morning (Preview) As I come to work every morning I drive down the freeway and always go past the Calvary Chuch that has this big sign with different messages on it everyday. I have come to look at it for my message from God for that day. Some days I don't get to see it because of maybe a truck in the way or I forget. I think.....	Cathyinaz	6	340	May 11, 2013 by Path to Serenity
	unsure about how to handle the situation (Preview) I have an alcoholic boyfriend who I have dated for about 2 years. We have lived together for about a year and a half. His drinking has been a problem for most of our relationship. We have gone through so many times of him 'getting sober' or getting help. I know he always did it for me to get me off of his back ab...	Delilah88	8	413	May 11, 2013 by Delilah88
	Trying my best to change (Preview) Here we go again. I'm trying my best to do what I can do to change my habits. There not bad habits its more like a routine . I am sacrfising alot to make things peaceful at home . If you all have been reading my post then you know I have a ah sober 6 months now with a major control problem. There is no easy way out fo...	Ms co-dependent	6	495	May 11, 2013 by forestfairy
	Further changes! (Preview) My 22 yr old daughter moved in with me today. Im happy with this. I have not lived with her since she was 17/18. She chose to stay with her Dad when I left. She is a hard working girl, well balanced considering she is the child of an alcoholic. Anyway, her stuff is here and now I am feeling unbalanced, a bit anx...	el-cee	9	382	May 11, 2013 by el-cee
	the cycle (Preview) I don't know what to say other than I am frustrated and disgusted at the fact that I am back in the SAME PLACE with my AB like 3 months ago. He went through this I can control my drinking phase, 14 times over the course of 2 and a half years of dating, and finally in February he decided to go to AA, which then tur...	giraffe13	16	682	May 10, 2013 by giraffe13
	The crisis call (Preview) Good Evening all I got the crisis call but it wasn't from my son it was from my X asking me what to do. His son is so so sick and can't even get up off the couch at this point. I just told him that his son didn't call me because I said to never call me again when he is sick, in withdrawals and needs a hospital becau...	Cathyinaz	16	634	May 10, 2013 by LucyB
	People Projecting fears. (Preview) Today at work we had a 'Town Hall meeting'. The Director for our department came in an updated us on what was happening and our productivity results etc.... There was no bad news but he was dodging some questions about outsourcing. I didn't interpret this meeting as anything bad, but as per everyone el...	slogan_jim	6	512	May 10, 2013 by tiredtonite
	What I did (Preview) For so long I have come to the rescue of my son. He would call all hours and beg for me to help him.I would rush to his side and scoop him up and bring him to the ER.I would sit for hours waiting if they were going to keep him or transfer him to detox. If they kept him, I'd give him a hug, tell him I would be back in...	Cathyinaz	14	559	May 10, 2013 by John
	How to deal with resentment when they are abusive when your partner relapses??? (Preview) Need help with all the resentment i have towards the recovering alcholic in my life. he has drank 3 times that i know of in 3.5 months as he is recovering i encouraged him to enroll in college to persue his dreams as i do not drink to support his sobriety. but i am seriously at my witts end i have been with him f...	taurus86	2	376	May 10, 2013 by PP
	Job Interviews (Preview) I have a few interviews scheduled for next week. It's been a while since I have had to go on one and I am now remembering how nervous these type of situations make me even though I am confident in my ability to handle the job itself and usually do much better at these type of things than I envision. It just tak...	wornoutmrsfixit	13	364	May 10, 2013 by Jerry F
	Still here (Preview) Trolling around and reading posts... I am lost. don't know what else to say.	dponlyme	10	256	May 9, 2013 by Jerry F
	feeling really conflicted (Preview) My stbxah just called to tell me that he has been losing the sight in his right eye and he thinks he will be dead within 3 years. He wanted me to know that he is keeping me as the benficiary of his life insurance. I have so many different emotions going on right now. Part of me feels like he is being manipulativ...	scaredandconfused	5	389	May 10, 2013 by Jerry F
	OK... that wasn't a good meeting... (Preview) I tried a new meeting this afternoon, and arrived late due to trouble finding the building. They'd already finished the reading and started sharing. I tried to signal to the woman running the meeting to please pass me the daily reader they were using, but she wouldn't. Which would have been fine, if th...	atheos	5	462	May 10, 2013 by Jerry F
	just really not sure which way to turn (Preview) I am new to this site but needing support, comfort and advice...I have been in a relationship with a addict now for 3 years... he is currently in a IP rehab.. he was clean for the first two years that we were together but relapsed 7 months ago... i snooped and found out that he had been cheating, lying, stea...	lbegcgpg	3	436	May 10, 2013 by Pushka
	First time AFG- first post- first AH rehab, killing time? (Preview) Hello all, I never thought I would find myself here. But alas I am sure none of us did. My AH is in Rehab for 22 days, both of our first times dealing with this, and I am almost not sure what to do with myself?! I work full time, have a great career, finances are all caught up (now), the house is spotless. I have...	Halo	9	401	May 10, 2013 by Pushka
	I WON'T BE ABLE TO CHAIR THE MEETING THIS MORNING THURSDAY (Preview)	mercedes1959	0	133	May 9, 2013 by mercedes1959
	Prayers and Support, please (Preview) Asking for prayers and support for today as we go to court to face a man who believes we owe him money. I engaged in many attempts to reason with him until I realized the efforts were futile..I told him to go ahead and do what he needed to do. I am in gratitude for the tools of al anon and recognize that I am of...	PP	9	431	May 9, 2013 by Lyne
	Stephen (Preview) Hi MiP Family 5-6-7 The month, the day and the year that my son lost his battle with alcoholism . Thank God for alanon and the tools. I would not have survived otherwise. Stephen always in my heart	hotrod	28	540	May 9, 2013 by Lyne
	Frustrated, angry and tired (Preview) Today and more recently in the past week or so, I've been getting more frustrated, angry and tired of dealing with the constant craziness that is living with my AM. I'm short tempered with my family members, especially my AM. I'm going to meetings, my dad and I went to one last night. :). I'm remembering...	phoenixmagicgirl	6	561	May 9, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	Agressive Family Member (Preview) Hi I have a brother who has a drink problem. Himself and his family come to stay with us a few times a year for upto 10 days or so a time. Hes a binge drinker and is quite agressive by nature. We had a big argument the other night and he started to get physical with me. I didnt react to the provocation, not physic...	heredia1	6	474	May 9, 2013 by Jerry F
	Hard to stop stewing (Preview) I separated from my AH (still drinking, denying there's a problem) 3 months ago. We have a 17 year old daughter. Yesterday I emailed him to check on some August dates when I have the opportunity to travel for work for a 2 week period. (It's a great opportunity, something i'm excited about, and it would...	norasq	7	440	May 9, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Feeling hopeless about obsessive thoughts (Preview) I am new to this site and looking for connection. I just had my 3rd year anniversary in Alanon. I am almost done with Blueprint for Progress. I have learned so much about myself from the 4th step and am truly grateful for it! I have a great sponsor that is willing to keep working with me even though she h...	beginnow	16	1489	May 9, 2013 by orchidlover
	Threats/coercion (Preview) At Easter this year I was given a last minute second-hand invitation to my brother's house (out of state) and could not get everything together in time to go, nor was I going to accept it. So I stayed home. They all knew how hurt I was but I was really not surprised - I have known for a few years that I've been t...	WorkingThroughIt	17	628	May 9, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	MONDAY MORNING MEETING 9AM (EST) - TOPICS: The 3 C's (I didn't cause it, I cannot cure it,I cannot control it), etc. (Preview) MONDAY MORNING MEETING 9AM (EST) - TOPICS: The 3 C's (I didn't cause it, I cannot cure it,I cannot control it), etc. Meeting scheduled in the Al-Anon chat room. TOPICS: The 3 C's (I didn't cause it, I cannot cure it, I cannot control it) Changed attitudes can aid recovery ...	shimo	0	188	May 8, 2013 by shimo
	fun stuff at home...not! (Preview) Hi All: I have a few friends who suggested that instead of giving AH a moveout date (June 1),said to tell him to stay somewhere else until he had his own apt. Now I can see why! I have been trying to do this the civil way, and at this point our kids are not aware of what's happening so that is on the brain as wel...	yanksfan51	3	336	May 8, 2013 by pinkchip
	Sexual intimacy in Al-anon recovery (Preview) After at least three years of unresolved anger, which resulted in consistent nagging and anger towards me for not seeing her point of view on nearly everything or being just like her, my wife of 15 years at my urging and her own acceptance rejoined Al-anon after an absecence of at least a decade, got a sp...	Bondjamesbond	10	2052	May 8, 2013 by maryjane
	how to detach from alcoholic ex/father of my toddler? (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm writing this to reach out to others and seek any advice/helpful words/support/book recommendations. Like many others here, I grew up with an alcoholic parent. My father would try to hide his drinking from the family by drinking in the garage. But even as a child, I knew what he was doi...	alanonnewbiew	4	498	May 8, 2013 by maryjane
	When can you ask to have a sponser? (Preview) My dad and I still have 2 more meetings to go until we get to 6...but I wanted to know when can you ask to have a sponser and how do I go about doing this? Thanks	phoenixmagicgirl	2	260	May 8, 2013 by pinkchip
	I take back my forgivness nothing is changing (Preview) Please give me my high power back I had him for one day to get me by and it seams now I'm walking down a empty path . This morning a back rub leads to yada yada . When ah sober no I don't want to.. He is selfish and thinks of his needs. Just when he said he change work on the controlling behaviors and god if you could...	Ms co-dependent	6	399	May 8, 2013 by maryjane
	Counciling for me (Preview) I have been going to a Counciler (for me!) he is wonderful. He's like my face to face and I intend on bringing my son. I'm trying to learn how to parent better being married to active ah. And also my son has strong addiction running on both sides of his biological parents and I want him to have help learning t...	sweeetr	4	346	May 8, 2013 by maryjane
	Need some Experience Strength and Hope (Preview) My son's graduation from high school is in a month, today I thought, well I should be sending out invitations to friends and we should have a dinner at my house after the graduation at 1 p.m. don't know how long it will be. I will have my new furniture by then and have a few friends I would like to invite over....	mercedes1959	16	695	May 8, 2013 by grateful2be
	Taking care of "me" (Preview) Since my last posting, I really had no choice but to leave.....again.....for the 5th time in 7 years. However, what's done had to have been done, and for that I am proud. I love the guy, but finally filed for divorce. No matter how much he is against the divorce, I can only protect the babies, myself, and f...	RoseODAT	3	313	May 7, 2013 by maryjane
	Married 11 Years Today (Preview) WOW! 11 years married today. My husband and I have spent most of our 11 years of marriage seperated (i'm pretty sure). Most of the 11 years has been more bad times than good times. Today, its good. He's sober and actively working the program. Will it be always? I dunno. But today I am grateful we are ha...	Sincerely	8	343	May 7, 2013 by Jerry F
	eye appt. tomorrow (Preview) My first eye appt. for surgery is tomorrow--I am nervous & excited! It seems there are possibilities that there will be complications possibly. I just hope that I will have faith that it won't go wrong. The date of the surgery is not yet set. I am anxious about setting a date. Also, out of 3 possibili...	Hoot Nanny	3	307	May 7, 2013 by Jerry F
	A question of sex. (Preview) How do people deal with the issue of sex? My partner is an A. She drinks secretly upstairs in the bedroom - even though I know and she knows. I find the empties hidden away. Vodka/ wine. Sometimes she approaches me sexually. I cringe and just sit there. She sits awkwardly and then goes back to bed. I feel vi...	jitsuka	14	1063	May 7, 2013 by Halo
	Need advice--"loving detachment" from father (Preview) I have made the decision to cut off contact with my alcoholic and meth-addicted father. He is lost in paranoid, meth-psychosis delusions of persecution, and only wants to talk about those. Every time we speak on the phone, we get into an argument and he verbally abuses me because I do not believe his fa...	SoberGirl	8	513	May 7, 2013 by grateful2be
	Home Run - Movie (Preview) This isn't an AA deal however it was interesting to watch, .. very honestly I had NO idea how Celebrate Recovery works. That part was pretty educational, .. I really enjoyed learning something new. What I really liked about the movie is the depiction of alcoholism as a disease and the victim mentali...	Pushka	3	308	May 7, 2013 by Tracey C
	One Step at a Time (Preview) Thank you all for your support. We had our mediation today at the courthouse. After much reflection, I was comfortable in my discomfort (regarding this type of conflict...or any conflict) that there would be nothing for us to mediate. We were dealing with pride, greed and one angry man (former t...	PP	2	396	May 7, 2013 by Sincerely
	A Beautiful Spring Day (Preview) It is a lovely day today in my part of the world. The trees and flowers are blooming. The sun is shining. The birds are singing. I took my sweet dog for a big long walk this morning and enjoyed seeing the ducks and geese swimming at the nearby pond. AH is on Day 8 of sobriety, I am working my program, trying ver...	ParisMemories	2	222	May 7, 2013 by hotrod
	Need some support (Preview) hi all i'm new(ish) here and could really use some support. my (sober) alcoholic met my parents for the first time this weekend, and in two conversations casually let slip that she's planning/considering moving out of state. this was news to me, and something that is happening because i told her i wa...	Rutabaga	2	276	May 7, 2013 by PP
	Do I or Don't I? (Preview) I've been wrestling with something this morning....sometimes I teach an extra course in May so I can make ends meet. This time the course didn't have enough students in it...so it will be cancelled. So far, I've been able to scrape through financially. ExA is buying guns, bought the 10 yo a crossbow an...	rehprof	7	414	May 6, 2013 by el-cee
	Thank you! (Preview) Hello again, everyone! I want to thank you for your warm welcomes! I have found some Al-Anon meeting places, and plan to attend my first one Friday afternoon! I am looking forward to it very much. In the mean time, my counselor gave me some workbooks on codependency for me to work through. I got to a secti...	Lay	3	262	May 6, 2013 by el-cee
	finding live meetings in local area (Preview) Hi~I've told my spouse I cannot exist in our relationship any longer unless she goes to recovery herself. I'm trying to find a list of live meetings for her and I just keep finding rehabs and other related topics. What do I search to find local meetings where I live? Thanks, Lyne	Lyne	3	267	May 6, 2013 by el-cee
	My worst nightmare came true. Child opiates anger bipolar family (Preview) My husband is bipolar and over the 25 years of our marriage has amused cocaine and crack to "self medicate". That is what my two boys grew up in the middle of. The three of us shared the hurt, pain, anger and financial crisis that are part of the reality of growing up with an addict. He has been st...	Jewel1	9	6630	May 6, 2013 by Highlyfavored
	Newly "back" to Al-anon, needing help/support regarding boundaries/discussion with a child (Preview) I am coming back to Al-anon and hope to get to some f2f meetings in the near future. I am currently looking for support with my 8 year old daughter. My problem is setting boundaries with my AH when he is in charge of the care of my daughter. He was sober for 14 years, and for the last year and a half, has been ste...	ryanhearted	3	286	May 6, 2013 by ryanhearted
	emotional hangover (Preview) For last 3 days I have been feeling rather drained to the very last drop of energy. I am so tired I could cry at any given moment if I see a suitable shoulder. I have short focus span and I am acting out on my addictions or feel very prone to do so. I've spent whole afternoon in lovely company of my friends, yet...	HappyToBe	2	296	May 6, 2013 by HappyToBe
	Hanging in there .. (Preview) The post about the whole obsessivness of it all .. boy did that get me thinking this AM. I really have to bring myself into the present and remember if I am so focused on what he is or isn't doing I'm not paying attention to my own needs and what I need to be doing. I will be soooo very happy to get this divorce...	Pushka	9	302	May 6, 2013 by Pushka
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.