Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

katfshh · katfshh

This is an update to my previous post. I posted it on the other thread, but thought maybe that thread is too far down now. I guess my question is, am I letting my disease affect me right now? As you can see at the end of my post, he called me a name and now I feel bad. I don't want to send him an apology or start up t...

Findinghope · Findinghope

I thought it was going to be a good one, but I got caught off guard my my AH. We had plans to go see a concert outdoors tonight, and I took the bus I to work because he was supposed to meet me. Well, no big surprise here, but I just got a call about 10 minutes ago tag he doesn't want to go and had relapsed. (I don't ev...

gwenci · gwenci

my partner has been messing with stopping drinking on and off for 5 years, he has put at times a real effort into doing so, but previously he has always kidded himself that he is ok drinking and slowly it gets back out of control. last week he behaved terribly smashing some of the house up and hit me in front...

grateful2be · grateful2be

This week, I asked posters twice for feedback on family estrangement and feedback on whether or not to acknowledge my niece's wedding, my niece's graduation, and what I learned was actually two nephews graduating. On Friday, I followed up with what I intuited was God's will in my current circumst...

Tennin · Tennin

Hi All, My husband is in recovery and was my original qualifier and Alanon has been my lifesaver. My stepson is still using, we just kicked him out of the house (He's 19) because he wouldn't respect our wishes of NO USING IN THE HOUSE. My wish was no using period, but that's beside the point. The point is, h...

Pushka · Pushka

Well I had this little epiphany today .. I'm soooo grateful for the open AA meetings .. there are no weekend alanon meetings and these just remind me that first off I am dealing with a person under the disease and that it can get better for that person if they have HOW (honesty, open mindedness, willingn...

stillsad · stillsad

separated from my ex boyfriend six months ago, we lived together for 18 months, i had no idea he was an alcoholic, as i have never been exposed to this, i thought he was just a social drinker and enjoyed a few glasses at night and could handle his drinking....then things went into decline, he became short...

tortuga · tortuga

Hello family, after a long time...or so it feels. I have undertaken a home trip and when on another trip during that trip. Leaving some geographical distance between me and the place of little traumas I had over the past year with the A...it felt really amazingly free. I met old friends and family and wa...

LadyBug · LadyBug

So i had an issue today that i found out that my recent ex A was back to her usual ways and headed back with her ex before me. I was hurt, shocked, heartbroken! How dare she ! Didn't she know she was better than that! How dare she! Didn't she know how hard i had worked to help her get over that bitch! Didn't she kn...

hope4ever · hope4ever

I don't know what it is but after the meetings in my f2f groups I seem to be the one who doesn't have anyone to talk to. I keep asking myself what I am doing wrong? It hurts my feelings and I really try to make an effort to engage with people. I feel like people think I am boring or something and yet I am very ki...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I am back. No suprise, things didn't stay so great. My Huband decided to let a "friend" of his stay at our house for a couple of days (girlfriend problems). So dysfunctional. Anyway, he stayed for a couple of days...then the girlfriend would come over...the strategy was supposedly to get...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. It's Victoria day weekend is Canada so we get Monday off work and I have no big plans but I look forward to a time of reflection. It was this weekend in 2010 that I walked into a meeting room and met Laura T. I had been attending open meet...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

How To Plant Your Garden First, you Come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses. FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING , PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS: 1. Peace of mind 2. Peace of heart 3. Peace of soul PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH: 1. Squash gossip 2. Squash indifference 3. Squash grumbling 4. Sq...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

I had an interesting revelation as I was thinking over my day just now. I find myself going back and forth with my AH. One minute I love him, the next minute I cannot wait to just file the divorce papers. It is exhausting. What I'm seeing in myself are my motives. When I act loving toward him, it is mostly in t...

katfshh · katfshh

I have a question. Off and on for the last year since my AF and I broke up, I have dated a friend, ex-boyfriend from High School. He even went on vacation with me and my son last summer as friends. He stayed in a cabin on the cruise with his two kids. I stayed in a different cabin with my son. Since that time, it n...

1976love · 1976love

Ugg. This weekend after being totally strong and not letting my AH actions get the better of me, it's settling in my soul today. For some reason everything I am touching is turning to crap. My car, my job, my sanity...pity party for one please??? I can't shake it today. totally negative thoughts a...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

I'm venting about my cousin, whom I'm good friends with, so please excuse me. I don't know which is worse at this point, the dry-drunk or the wet drunk. Both are so freaking selfish and frustrating. The wet-drunk makes terrible decisions, doesn't do the things in life that need to be done (work, pay bil...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

After months of trying to see our way through positive change. Which seemed to happen for about 5 months the disease reared its ugly head again. He threatened he was going to kill me (end me right there). I left with the girls on Sunday. I plan on moving further away. He blocked me from Facebook & hasn...

Pushka · Pushka

I can tell it's summer and Mr Crazy Pants (CP) is in full swing. The hotter the weather the nuttier the behavior. It's been hot to say the least already .. who knows what will go down by the end of the summer. Not living with it on the day to day basis .. boy when it comes up it's like WOW .. this is what I lived...

1976love · 1976love

What is it about A's and justifing there actions??? Like they miss there sons chorus concert because they are tired and just want a couple hours to thereselves (to drink but never stated)They say, "you know what I was like when you met me so if you don't like the money, house, cars I give you, you kn...

John · John

I don't want to minimize my own personal problems and life issues but my gosh, when I read the news or watch it on TV, and hear about someone being stabbed 29 times, their throat slit, and then shot in the face, and a bat shit crazy (mentally sick) woman facing the death penalty for it... or about 3 woman, ki...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone Well I don't if I'm doing this right but I'm sick and tired with my relationship. I'm tired of him spending anywhere between 600- 800, sometimes a thousand dollars a month just on STUFF. He's a spendaholic! He hates to even hear about money. In the past when I tried to tell him anything...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello My Al-anon Family... Sorry its been so long yet again, however seems life Keeps happening even when I'm Unprepared for it...Quick update... My Mom's 'Surprise'Retirement party that I worked on for 5wks went off in wonderful Fashion... She was "Clueless" all the way up till she wal...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

The Dean of Nursing called me today to invite me to attend the full time Nursing program for the Fall semester 2013. Wow this last year of taking 10 classes in 2 semesters of general education sciences, psychology's and sociology's is over and now onto the program. Wow hard work pays off, the waiting l...

sandydv · sandydv

thanks for the welcoming into the group. This life is such a roller coaster when you live with a husband who drinks.He is a functioning alcoholic but an almost everyday after work, drinks by himself and usually gets high as well. Last night, again he was drinking. we went to bed i said to him, oh my god...

dponlyme · dponlyme

It was nothing mind blowing. I was nervous and felt out of place. It was a small group and they all knew each other very well. Was happy to see a couple of men but mostly ladies. Everyone was extremely friendly and welcoming. It was a birthday for one of the ladies- 17 years in alanon. After the meeting two o...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I posted recently asking for ESH when it comes to family estrangement apparent after my Dad's stroke a few years ago. I was hurting because I was the only one of my siblings and aunts and uncles not invited to my sister's oldest's wedding. When I went to visit Dad this weekend, I helped him get his mail ou...

willowtree · willowtree

When I am interacting with people I notice that I always focus on them and am a really good listener. I always want to make them happy and I revert the conversation back to them and I feel uncomfortable talking about myself. I think that I worry they are going to think I am talking about "me" t...

orchidlover · orchidlover

The ex A was fantastic in the beginning at knowing what to say that I wanted to hear. He spoke commitment, love and devotion early. Of coure he could also turn taht on again at certain times. Even in the middle of some hair brained scheme of his he could utter those magic words "us" "pla...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi I have a feeling my posts will be more and more frequent at least up to June 1 moveout for AH. Just need to hear more about how he will be trying everything and anything to stop this from happening, that the only way my situation will change is if I change it, that this has been a theme for 20 yrs and time to h...

shalimar · shalimar

I am not sure how this message board works yet, but I really need to talk to some one. My husband is an alcoholic. He is great during the day, but our nights are really bad. We have a 15 year old son and this is really hard on him and I. I am so torn as to what to do. For the normal part of our life we are living a drea...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t53694731/alanon-step-4/-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 15th of May 2013 11:24:10 AM

dponlyme · dponlyme

I read the latest responses to my last post. Jerry F. PP, Elcee and my first inclination was that it made me a little angry. Especially yours PP. But then I thought about it and realized that you were just being honest with me and it just happened to be something I didn't want to hear. No I suppose I'm not alr...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Wow.....not even 24 hours after getting out of Detox........he's drinking and calls me to boot. Anyways.......I had a great time tonight at my Woman's Group meeting. PS: I don't know why I posted this. I guess I was a little upset him calling me in the middle of the night accusing me of coming into h...

John · John

Just sat here reading some post this morning... Wow, someone else asked for support and I read the replies to them and it supported me! What a great way to start this day! Things are going well on my end for the most part. Nothing is happening outside of the space of the imaginary whoola hoop around my wa...

rookie95 · rookie95

My ABF has been home from rehab for 24 hours and I have already accused him of drinking again. I found an empty water bottle in the garage while getting my son's toys out this afternoon. The water bottle is the way that he used to drink his vodka on the train on the way home from work. He swears that it was l...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I just read a post from Glad Lee talking about triangulation - it hit home, but I didn't want to hijack the thread so I'm starting my own. Triangulation ... where one family member will not communicate directly with another family member regarding an issue, but will instead communicate with a third fa...

hope4ever · hope4ever

I am so happy that I found a sponsor last night!! :) I have been asking my HP to reveal someone to me who would be a better fit for me than the last woman I had. This lady is in both programs, she has a sponsor, she has done the steps, and she is a really positive and warm person (I needed to find a sponsor who I fe...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

2 years ago my AM was attacked by a man who was/is mentally ill. She dealt with PTSD for several months before seeking help with a PTSD therapist (to me there's nothing more disturbing than hearing your mom waking up scared because she's having flashbacks..it haunts me) and I'm so proud of her for doing...

daisy31 · daisy31

I just needed to write here on this board. It seems lately my childhood issues are popping up and I am feeling really sad and lonely. I notice that I use a couple of facebook groups to fill the void. I always feel like I am really supportive to others on the 2 groups that I am in but others really don't sup...

sandydv · sandydv

New here, kind of at the end of my rope, tired of living this life with an alcoholic husband (who also smokes pot). Hes a functioning alcoholic, but so tired of it, tired of coming home every day to someone either high or drunk, tired of having a conversation or making plans with him which is either forg...

pillarofstrength0706 · pillarofstrength0706

I'm new to al anon. My 6 mo sober AH is working working on his steps and will be soon making amends. I am most scared of more confessions of his infidelity. I know that it happened under my nose while I was with my kids in another room. I don't know if I can handle going back wards and learning more truth. Am I al...

dponlyme · dponlyme

I don't know what to think... my brain is scrambled. I blew up today and said some terrible things to her today. Gave her a real big dose of her own medicine. I know it wasnt right but it felt so good at the time. I told her she should kill herself and then asked her how that feels coming from the person that is s...

Aloha · Aloha

I've mentioned in response to another person's share that I've been going through some upheavals at my job lately. There are a select number of employees who've taken it badly and are acting out. I'm real grateful for my Al-Anon program, or I'd be jumping in and joining the crazy dance they're doing: p...

willowtree · willowtree

Hello all, I am in a small online group of about 20 ladies on yahoo and I have noticed a pattern of ladies who are posting their problems and are looking for support. It started out being fun and we talked about positive things and such and then really quickly it has changed to a now co-dependant pattern....

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

My AH is going to a daily AA meeting, and has for just over a month. Today is day 14 of no alcohol for him. We are getting along better, not arguing. We are far from perfect though. I am trying to LetGo and Let God, but some moments I just want to scream. I want so much for him to find the peace and joy of recovery,...

oldergal · oldergal

So is it my business when workers all have the same hours but some of them come in late, or go home early or taker longer breaks..the boss doesnt see them, but I do because I am centrally located. I try not to pay attention and just do my work, but then on the other hand is this fair, or am I from the old school an...

Pushka · Pushka

LOL .. I don't know why .. it's so funny or ironic in a not funny ha ha kind of way, .. the need for self validation when I keep looking for it outside. I want other people to tell me I'm ok .. when .. I go back to it's none of my business what other people think of me. If I want validation I gotta seek it out inside...

KLotus · KLotus

I filed this Winter. I obtained a protection order. He is fighting me on custody of our 3 year old. I am giving him back his house, and moving into a 2 bedroom apartment with my mother and child. I am afraid - because I feel I still love him. We cannot contact each other right now, due to the protection o...

dponlyme · dponlyme

I read the latest responses to my last post. Jerry F. PP, Elcee and my first inclination was that it made me a little angry. Especially yours PP. But then I thought about it and realized that you were just being honest with me and it just happened to be something I didn't want to hear. No I suppose I'm not alr...

Halo · Halo

Well I have found how I keep myself busy!Write short stories. Here is my first one(well second the first was to persoanl)! If you take the time to read it let me know what you think. The First Visit to Rehab I almost did not want to go. Maybe it was the 3.5 hour drive; maybe it was that I was fearful he would be t...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I have not been to this board for quite a while. A lot has been going on in my life and I am working on not being reactive (which really did sink me) and having lots of boundaries. Lately I have been having real issues with a friend of mine. He is a good friend. He has been"there" for me. I think...

rookie95 · rookie95

Today is the day that my ABF comes home from rehab. His mother is picking him up around 11 am EDT, and I think they are going back to her house. I know he wants to come back here and live with me and my son...and I told him that he could, only if he stayed sober. I told him that my first priority is my son and mys...

dponlyme · dponlyme

Sleeping on the floor again, not because she's drunk but because I can't stand to be next to her. The other night when she was drinking I came out to sleep on the floor to get away from her but around 5am she got up and came out to harass me. It came fairly close to physical blows... she was intrusive of my pers...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I made sure to add some A.A. references and Al-anon information for family members and I obviously didn't have a hard time writing this paper. Once I got going I was so glad to be able to bring awareness to my class especially where I live, this county is a very big drinking community. So I feel I did my part...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Hi y'all. Went to an open Alanon meeting yesterday (probably my 12th one) and while I enjoy being around all the kind people it doesn't feel completely right. Then last night went to an Alanon adult children meeting and that felt much better. i don't have an alcoholic child or spouse but as the daughte...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everybody: I am giving myself daily reminders that no matter what AH says, or what he says he will do, or what he says he'll never do again, I have to stick to the June 1 date which in he words, is like a ticking time bomb. He does not want to leave, is leaving against his will, I am forcing him out of his own f...

Photophreak · Photophreak

I am a newly sober drunk. I was sober for a few years and relapsed. As did my Husband. He is still drinking. I have never been to Alanon as we were both sober. I do know what In need to do. But am scared. Thanks

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

This is my first mother's day since my mom's death. It's been a half year now and this week Im going to her house to gather memories and things and say good-bye to my childhood home. My brother has been distant for many years and I've missed him. My mother gave him authority to settle her estate. I'm pr...

1976love · 1976love

Thank God I have a place like this to come to and vent. I do much better writing than expressing my feelings verbally and here I know it's safe and others understand. So since my AH was selfish enough to throw away 5 months of being sober because he doesn't like the thoughts that go on in his head without d...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	An update and I am questioning myself (Preview) This is an update to my previous post. I posted it on the other thread, but thought maybe that thread is too far down now. I guess my question is, am I letting my disease affect me right now? As you can see at the end of my post, he called me a name and now I feel bad. I don't want to send him an apology or start up t...	katfshh	7	384	May 19, 2013 by katfshh
	Crappy day (Preview) I thought it was going to be a good one, but I got caught off guard my my AH. We had plans to go see a concert outdoors tonight, and I took the bus I to work because he was supposed to meet me. Well, no big surprise here, but I just got a call about 10 minutes ago tag he doesn't want to go and had relapsed. (I don't ev...	Findinghope	8	377	May 19, 2013 by Pushka
	want to get back with my recovering alcoholic (Preview) my partner has been messing with stopping drinking on and off for 5 years, he has put at times a real effort into doing so, but previously he has always kidded himself that he is ok drinking and slowly it gets back out of control. last week he behaved terribly smashing some of the house up and hit me in front...	gwenci	10	479	May 19, 2013 by Pushka
	Update on intention/family (Preview) This week, I asked posters twice for feedback on family estrangement and feedback on whether or not to acknowledge my niece's wedding, my niece's graduation, and what I learned was actually two nephews graduating. On Friday, I followed up with what I intuited was God's will in my current circumst...	grateful2be	4	354	May 19, 2013 by grateful2be
	ESH Please (Preview) Hi All, My husband is in recovery and was my original qualifier and Alanon has been my lifesaver. My stepson is still using, we just kicked him out of the house (He's 19) because he wouldn't respect our wishes of NO USING IN THE HOUSE. My wish was no using period, but that's beside the point. The point is, h...	Tennin	8	346	May 19, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Distance and perspective (Preview) Well I had this little epiphany today .. I'm soooo grateful for the open AA meetings .. there are no weekend alanon meetings and these just remind me that first off I am dealing with a person under the disease and that it can get better for that person if they have HOW (honesty, open mindedness, willingn...	Pushka	7	556	May 19, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	6 months apart and still feel sad (Preview) separated from my ex boyfriend six months ago, we lived together for 18 months, i had no idea he was an alcoholic, as i have never been exposed to this, i thought he was just a social drinker and enjoyed a few glasses at night and could handle his drinking....then things went into decline, he became short...	stillsad	7	392	May 19, 2013 by grateful2be
	setback, just when I stepped out in the light :-( (Preview) Hello family, after a long time...or so it feels. I have undertaken a home trip and when on another trip during that trip. Leaving some geographical distance between me and the place of little traumas I had over the past year with the A...it felt really amazingly free. I met old friends and family and wa...	tortuga	2	750	May 19, 2013 by Jerry F
	Mind your own business. (Preview) So i had an issue today that i found out that my recent ex A was back to her usual ways and headed back with her ex before me. I was hurt, shocked, heartbroken! How dare she ! Didn't she know she was better than that! How dare she! Didn't she know how hard i had worked to help her get over that bitch! Didn't she kn...	LadyBug	2	383	May 19, 2013 by LadyBug
	no one to talk to after meetings (Preview) I don't know what it is but after the meetings in my f2f groups I seem to be the one who doesn't have anyone to talk to. I keep asking myself what I am doing wrong? It hurts my feelings and I really try to make an effort to engage with people. I feel like people think I am boring or something and yet I am very ki...	hope4ever	8	338	May 19, 2013 by Jerry F
	alcoholic husband barely speaking to me and being disrspectful (Preview) I am back. No suprise, things didn't stay so great. My Huband decided to let a "friend" of his stay at our house for a couple of days (girlfriend problems). So dysfunctional. Anyway, he stayed for a couple of days...then the girlfriend would come over...the strategy was supposedly to get...	sadsusie	5	456	May 19, 2013 by sadsusie
	Getting my long weekend started/3-year al-anon anniversary (Preview) Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. It's Victoria day weekend is Canada so we get Monday off work and I have no big plans but I look forward to a time of reflection. It was this weekend in 2010 that I walked into a meeting room and met Laura T. I had been attending open meet...	slogan_jim	4	277	May 18, 2013 by Temple
	The Garden of Daily Living (Preview) How To Plant Your Garden First, you Come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses. FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING , PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS: 1. Peace of mind 2. Peace of heart 3. Peace of soul PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH: 1. Squash gossip 2. Squash indifference 3. Squash grumbling 4. Sq...	Green Eyes	3	363	May 18, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Revelations on Love (Preview) I had an interesting revelation as I was thinking over my day just now. I find myself going back and forth with my AH. One minute I love him, the next minute I cannot wait to just file the divorce papers. It is exhausting. What I'm seeing in myself are my motives. When I act loving toward him, it is mostly in t...	ParisMemories	5	484	May 18, 2013 by KennyFenderjazz
	Am I dating another A? (Preview) I have a question. Off and on for the last year since my AF and I broke up, I have dated a friend, ex-boyfriend from High School. He even went on vacation with me and my son last summer as friends. He stayed in a cabin on the cruise with his two kids. I stayed in a different cabin with my son. Since that time, it n...	katfshh	9	636	May 18, 2013 by katfshh
	feeling like I am falling off the wagon. (Preview) Ugg. This weekend after being totally strong and not letting my AH actions get the better of me, it's settling in my soul today. For some reason everything I am touching is turning to crap. My car, my job, my sanity...pity party for one please??? I can't shake it today. totally negative thoughts a...	1976love	3	319	May 18, 2013 by ryanhearted
	Dry-Drunk vs Wet-Drunk (Preview) I'm venting about my cousin, whom I'm good friends with, so please excuse me. I don't know which is worse at this point, the dry-drunk or the wet drunk. Both are so freaking selfish and frustrating. The wet-drunk makes terrible decisions, doesn't do the things in life that need to be done (work, pay bil...	NCSUgeology	5	4119	May 18, 2013 by KennyFenderjazz
	I finally LEFT (Preview) After months of trying to see our way through positive change. Which seemed to happen for about 5 months the disease reared its ugly head again. He threatened he was going to kill me (end me right there). I left with the girls on Sunday. I plan on moving further away. He blocked me from Facebook & hasn...	InspiredPhotography	9	434	May 18, 2013 by InspiredPhotography
	Rough Day Yesterday kind of rough week .. (Preview) I can tell it's summer and Mr Crazy Pants (CP) is in full swing. The hotter the weather the nuttier the behavior. It's been hot to say the least already .. who knows what will go down by the end of the summer. Not living with it on the day to day basis .. boy when it comes up it's like WOW .. this is what I lived...	Pushka	8	479	May 18, 2013 by grateful2be
	quick question (Preview) What is it about A's and justifing there actions??? Like they miss there sons chorus concert because they are tired and just want a couple hours to thereselves (to drink but never stated)They say, "you know what I was like when you met me so if you don't like the money, house, cars I give you, you kn...	1976love	6	409	May 18, 2013 by grateful2be
	Travis Alexander, Amanda Berry (with two other capitives), Boston Bombing, Fertilizer Plant explosion, Texas Tornado's.. (Preview) I don't want to minimize my own personal problems and life issues but my gosh, when I read the news or watch it on TV, and hear about someone being stabbed 29 times, their throat slit, and then shot in the face, and a bat shit crazy (mentally sick) woman facing the death penalty for it... or about 3 woman, ki...	John	3	329	May 18, 2013 by PP
	A little scared today (Preview) Hi Everyone Well I don't if I'm doing this right but I'm sick and tired with my relationship. I'm tired of him spending anywhere between 600- 800, sometimes a thousand dollars a month just on STUFF. He's a spendaholic! He hates to even hear about money. In the past when I tried to tell him anything...	Cathyinaz	9	661	May 17, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Prayers Needed Please... (Preview) Hello My Al-anon Family... Sorry its been so long yet again, however seems life Keeps happening even when I'm Unprepared for it...Quick update... My Mom's 'Surprise'Retirement party that I worked on for 5wks went off in wonderful Fashion... She was "Clueless" all the way up till she wal...	Jozie	5	394	May 17, 2013 by PP
	I got the call today I have been waiting for!!!!! (Preview) The Dean of Nursing called me today to invite me to attend the full time Nursing program for the Fall semester 2013. Wow this last year of taking 10 classes in 2 semesters of general education sciences, psychology's and sociology's is over and now onto the program. Wow hard work pays off, the waiting l...	Breakingfree	7	408	May 17, 2013 by Breakingfree
	thanks for the welcoming to the group, new here, such a roller coaster (Preview) thanks for the welcoming into the group. This life is such a roller coaster when you live with a husband who drinks.He is a functioning alcoholic but an almost everyday after work, drinks by himself and usually gets high as well. Last night, again he was drinking. we went to bed i said to him, oh my god...	sandydv	2	303	May 17, 2013 by Breakingfree
	1st face to face meeting (Preview) It was nothing mind blowing. I was nervous and felt out of place. It was a small group and they all knew each other very well. Was happy to see a couple of men but mostly ladies. Everyone was extremely friendly and welcoming. It was a birthday for one of the ladies- 17 years in alanon. After the meeting two o...	dponlyme	7	411	May 16, 2013 by Aloha
	Needing feedback on family issues, please (Preview) I posted recently asking for ESH when it comes to family estrangement apparent after my Dad's stroke a few years ago. I was hurting because I was the only one of my siblings and aunts and uncles not invited to my sister's oldest's wedding. When I went to visit Dad this weekend, I helped him get his mail ou...	grateful2be	4	546	May 16, 2013 by grateful2be
	Healthy conversations (Preview) When I am interacting with people I notice that I always focus on them and am a really good listener. I always want to make them happy and I revert the conversation back to them and I feel uncomfortable talking about myself. I think that I worry they are going to think I am talking about "me" t...	willowtree	3	344	May 16, 2013 by Jen61
	Being conned. Being around people who say exactly what you want to hear. (Preview) The ex A was fantastic in the beginning at knowing what to say that I wanted to hear. He spoke commitment, love and devotion early. Of coure he could also turn taht on again at certain times. Even in the middle of some hair brained scheme of his he could utter those magic words "us" "pla...	orchidlover	2	896	May 16, 2013 by MeTwo2
	throw the ESH at me everyone! (Preview) Hi I have a feeling my posts will be more and more frequent at least up to June 1 moveout for AH. Just need to hear more about how he will be trying everything and anything to stop this from happening, that the only way my situation will change is if I change it, that this has been a theme for 20 yrs and time to h...	yanksfan51	13	650	May 16, 2013 by grateful2be
	I am new here (Preview) I am not sure how this message board works yet, but I really need to talk to some one. My husband is an alcoholic. He is great during the day, but our nights are really bad. We have a 15 year old son and this is really hard on him and I. I am so torn as to what to do. For the normal part of our life we are living a drea...	shalimar	6	506	May 16, 2013 by slogan_jim
	Step Four (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t53694731/alanon-step-4/-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 15th of May 2013 11:24:10 AM	hotrod	4	290	May 16, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Support and making changes and insanity and f2f meetings (Preview) I read the latest responses to my last post. Jerry F. PP, Elcee and my first inclination was that it made me a little angry. Especially yours PP. But then I thought about it and realized that you were just being honest with me and it just happened to be something I didn't want to hear. No I suppose I'm not alr...	dponlyme	8	375	May 16, 2013 by dponlyme
	He's drinking (Preview) Wow.....not even 24 hours after getting out of Detox........he's drinking and calls me to boot. Anyways.......I had a great time tonight at my Woman's Group meeting. PS: I don't know why I posted this. I guess I was a little upset him calling me in the middle of the night accusing me of coming into h...	Cathyinaz	16	685	May 16, 2013 by Auntyaya
	Good Morning Everyone! (Preview) Just sat here reading some post this morning... Wow, someone else asked for support and I read the replies to them and it supported me! What a great way to start this day! Things are going well on my end for the most part. Nothing is happening outside of the space of the imaginary whoola hoop around my wa...	John	4	323	May 16, 2013 by bud
	Feeling Low (Preview) My ABF has been home from rehab for 24 hours and I have already accused him of drinking again. I found an empty water bottle in the garage while getting my son's toys out this afternoon. The water bottle is the way that he used to drink his vodka on the train on the way home from work. He swears that it was l...	rookie95	9	483	May 16, 2013 by ParisMemories
	Triangulation and dysfunction (Preview) I just read a post from Glad Lee talking about triangulation - it hit home, but I didn't want to hijack the thread so I'm starting my own. Triangulation ... where one family member will not communicate directly with another family member regarding an issue, but will instead communicate with a third fa...	White Rabbit	6	5466	May 15, 2013 by Jessica1111
	Yey! I found a sponsor last night! :) (Preview) I am so happy that I found a sponsor last night!! :) I have been asking my HP to reveal someone to me who would be a better fit for me than the last woman I had. This lady is in both programs, she has a sponsor, she has done the steps, and she is a really positive and warm person (I needed to find a sponsor who I fe...	hope4ever	2	340	May 15, 2013 by ilovedogs
	PTSD and drinking..dealing with my AM (Preview) 2 years ago my AM was attacked by a man who was/is mentally ill. She dealt with PTSD for several months before seeking help with a PTSD therapist (to me there's nothing more disturbing than hearing your mom waking up scared because she's having flashbacks..it haunts me) and I'm so proud of her for doing...	phoenixmagicgirl	5	564	May 15, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	I'm struggling today (Preview) I just needed to write here on this board. It seems lately my childhood issues are popping up and I am feeling really sad and lonely. I notice that I use a couple of facebook groups to fill the void. I always feel like I am really supportive to others on the 2 groups that I am in but others really don't sup...	daisy31	8	393	May 15, 2013 by daisy31
	Help, new here, living with an alcoholic is so hard to deal with. (Preview) New here, kind of at the end of my rope, tired of living this life with an alcoholic husband (who also smokes pot). Hes a functioning alcoholic, but so tired of it, tired of coming home every day to someone either high or drunk, tired of having a conversation or making plans with him which is either forg...	sandydv	4	411	May 15, 2013 by dponlyme
	amends (Preview) I'm new to al anon. My 6 mo sober AH is working working on his steps and will be soon making amends. I am most scared of more confessions of his infidelity. I know that it happened under my nose while I was with my kids in another room. I don't know if I can handle going back wards and learning more truth. Am I al...	pillarofstrength0706	2	337	May 15, 2013 by Jerry F
	Big blow up with AW today (Preview) I don't know what to think... my brain is scrambled. I blew up today and said some terrible things to her today. Gave her a real big dose of her own medicine. I know it wasnt right but it felt so good at the time. I told her she should kill herself and then asked her how that feels coming from the person that is s...	dponlyme	13	702	May 15, 2013 by giraffe13
	Observing scared, sabotaging behaviors (Preview) I've mentioned in response to another person's share that I've been going through some upheavals at my job lately. There are a select number of employees who've taken it badly and are acting out. I'm real grateful for my Al-Anon program, or I'd be jumping in and joining the crazy dance they're doing: p...	Aloha	3	372	May 15, 2013 by bud
	Is this co-dependant? (Preview) Hello all, I am in a small online group of about 20 ladies on yahoo and I have noticed a pattern of ladies who are posting their problems and are looking for support. It started out being fun and we talked about positive things and such and then really quickly it has changed to a now co-dependant pattern....	willowtree	4	573	May 14, 2013 by Jerry F
	Patience (Preview) My AH is going to a daily AA meeting, and has for just over a month. Today is day 14 of no alcohol for him. We are getting along better, not arguing. We are far from perfect though. I am trying to LetGo and Let God, but some moments I just want to scream. I want so much for him to find the peace and joy of recovery,...	ParisMemories	6	451	May 15, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Have a problem with co-workers (Preview) So is it my business when workers all have the same hours but some of them come in late, or go home early or taker longer breaks..the boss doesnt see them, but I do because I am centrally located. I try not to pay attention and just do my work, but then on the other hand is this fair, or am I from the old school an...	oldergal	12	741	May 15, 2013 by orchidlover
	Validation, Validation, Validation .. (Preview) LOL .. I don't know why .. it's so funny or ironic in a not funny ha ha kind of way, .. the need for self validation when I keep looking for it outside. I want other people to tell me I'm ok .. when .. I go back to it's none of my business what other people think of me. If I want validation I gotta seek it out inside...	Pushka	6	439	May 15, 2013 by orchidlover
	The choice to, and process of, divorcing the alcholic (Preview) I filed this Winter. I obtained a protection order. He is fighting me on custody of our 3 year old. I am giving him back his house, and moving into a 2 bedroom apartment with my mother and child. I am afraid - because I feel I still love him. We cannot contact each other right now, due to the protection o...	KLotus	8	393	May 15, 2013 by orchidlover
	Support and making changes and insanity and f2f meetings (Preview) I read the latest responses to my last post. Jerry F. PP, Elcee and my first inclination was that it made me a little angry. Especially yours PP. But then I thought about it and realized that you were just being honest with me and it just happened to be something I didn't want to hear. No I suppose I'm not alr...	dponlyme	2	277	May 15, 2013 by dponlyme
	Warning its long. (Preview) Well I have found how I keep myself busy!Write short stories. Here is my first one(well second the first was to persoanl)! If you take the time to read it let me know what you think. The First Visit to Rehab I almost did not want to go. Maybe it was the 3.5 hour drive; maybe it was that I was fearful he would be t...	Halo	3	297	May 15, 2013 by orchidlover
	controlling behavior (Preview) I have not been to this board for quite a while. A lot has been going on in my life and I am working on not being reactive (which really did sink me) and having lots of boundaries. Lately I have been having real issues with a friend of mine. He is a good friend. He has been"there" for me. I think...	orchidlover	7	387	May 15, 2013 by orchidlover
	Today Is The Day (Preview) Today is the day that my ABF comes home from rehab. His mother is picking him up around 11 am EDT, and I think they are going back to her house. I know he wants to come back here and live with me and my son...and I told him that he could, only if he stayed sober. I told him that my first priority is my son and mys...	rookie95	7	322	May 15, 2013 by rookie95
	AW abusive physically and verbally (Preview) Sleeping on the floor again, not because she's drunk but because I can't stand to be next to her. The other night when she was drinking I came out to sleep on the floor to get away from her but around 5am she got up and came out to harass me. It came fairly close to physical blows... she was intrusive of my pers...	dponlyme	11	490	May 15, 2013 by giraffe13
	My last school paper for the year was on alcoholism (Preview) I made sure to add some A.A. references and Al-anon information for family members and I obviously didn't have a hard time writing this paper. Once I got going I was so glad to be able to bring awareness to my class especially where I live, this county is a very big drinking community. So I feel I did my part...	Breakingfree	7	353	May 14, 2013 by Peggy7
	Feeling a lot better (Preview) Hi y'all. Went to an open Alanon meeting yesterday (probably my 12th one) and while I enjoy being around all the kind people it doesn't feel completely right. Then last night went to an Alanon adult children meeting and that felt much better. i don't have an alcoholic child or spouse but as the daughte...	WorkingThroughIt	4	310	May 14, 2013 by Breakingfree
	moveout getting closer, climate is intense (Preview) Hi Everybody: I am giving myself daily reminders that no matter what AH says, or what he says he will do, or what he says he'll never do again, I have to stick to the June 1 date which in he words, is like a ticking time bomb. He does not want to leave, is leaving against his will, I am forcing him out of his own f...	yanksfan51	7	524	May 14, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	New here (Preview) I am a newly sober drunk. I was sober for a few years and relapsed. As did my Husband. He is still drinking. I have never been to Alanon as we were both sober. I do know what In need to do. But am scared. Thanks	Photophreak	3	256	May 14, 2013 by PP
	Working on acceptance (Preview) This is my first mother's day since my mom's death. It's been a half year now and this week Im going to her house to gather memories and things and say good-bye to my childhood home. My brother has been distant for many years and I've missed him. My mother gave him authority to settle her estate. I'm pr...	tiredtonite	3	273	May 14, 2013 by tiredtonite
	frustrated (Preview) Thank God I have a place like this to come to and vent. I do much better writing than expressing my feelings verbally and here I know it's safe and others understand. So since my AH was selfish enough to throw away 5 months of being sober because he doesn't like the thoughts that go on in his head without d...	1976love	4	303	May 14, 2013 by ParisMemories
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.