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Working on acceptance
(Preview)
This is my first mother's day since my mom's death. It's been a half year now and this week Im going to her house to gather memories and things and say good-bye to my childhood home. My brother has been distant for many years and I've missed him. My mother gave him authority to settle her estate. I'm pr...
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tiredtonite
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3
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196
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frustrated
(Preview)
Thank God I have a place like this to come to and vent. I do much better writing than expressing my feelings verbally and here I know it's safe and others understand. So since my AH was selfish enough to throw away 5 months of being sober because he doesn't like the thoughts that go on in his head without d...
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1976love
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4
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227
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How do you know your doing the right thing?
(Preview)
My faith and hope is waning a bit. My son, 20, who is currently homeless has not been in touch for a few days and my doubts are creeping in. I wont let him stay with me for a few reasons that right now in my mind I keep countering with doubts. 1. He abuses drink and drugs - so does most young people where I live. Ho...
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el-cee
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14
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402
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Questions inre familial estrangement
(Preview)
Hello. I need some feedback/E/S/H inre familial estrangement. Have or do any of the posters discovered themselves alienated from siblings (heavy drinkers) after the death or severe illness of a parent? About 5 years ago, my Dad(the remaining parent to my 9 siblings and me) suffered a stroke w...
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grateful2be
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11
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345
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sometimes mom's day is hard
(Preview)
Even though my mom is still alive, I struggle w/ mom's day because of my situation. I have bipolar disorder & basically can't have children. This is my problem: I am not very happy not having children especially on significant days like yesterday. I know that I probably " shouldn't" ha...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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229
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suggestion, not ultimatum
(Preview)
So I asked my spouse to get into recovery-AA, OA, or GA-she actually qualifies for all of them. I wrote it in an email sent to her CASAC and herself. Am I still controlling? I told her it is the only way to keep the marriage, but of course the choice is her's. She has chosen OA. I have given up checking up...
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Lyne
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6
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508
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Need strength
(Preview)
TODAY I found a letter and some paperwork from when my AH was in rehab for 30 days (a few years ago) - He was talking about how I was right to separate from him, how he was angry with himself, how he needed to change, and how he wanted to grow old together. What a struggle this was for me! At the exact moment wh...
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KLotus
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9
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273
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I got a Call for Mothers Day
(Preview)
I'm crying because I'm happy and sad all in one. I just got off the phone with my son. He admitted himself to Community Bridges Detox Center a couple of days ago after getting out of the hospital. Cut his face open and has a black eye. He called to wish me a Happy Mothers Day and that he loved me. He also wish...
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Cathyinaz
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8
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441
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Has anyone here dealt with alcohol related dementia?
(Preview)
Or, do you know of online support for those who are there caretakers? I'm trying to gather information and, like with anything, the more you read, the more questions you get sometimes. DH isn't at the point of repeating himself or anything yet, but has a host of other symptoms. As I don't anticipate...
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wildrosejmj
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5
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612
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I ddn't get a call/card/visit from AD for Mothers Day
(Preview)
Used to be I'd be promised she would come, but then would get a late afternoon call saying she wasn't coming after all because she had worked late and went out afterwards and was "too tired" to make the 2 hr drive..... Today not even a call (she doesn't work anymore, so it's probably just the &q...
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lgnutah
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3
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271
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Good Day/ Not So Good Day
(Preview)
I Skyped today with my daughter and her family who live in Texas and had dinner tonight with my other daughter and her fiance. And spent the daytime today with my mom. I feel very blessed but it was the first time ever that I did not hear from my youngest daughter, my AD. It was been almost 4 months now and my h...
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Green Eyes
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4
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311
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Taking a break -detachment
(Preview)
I'm back up stairs in my room where I want to be. Boundarys have been set for the last time! Request that I stay in my room till I'm ready to accept that I'm working my program to get better to detatch . AH 6 month sober . Agrees to leave me be till I'm ready to accept him back in my life.. Snooping behavior is sti...
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Ms co-dependent
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4
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291
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How to be supportive to my AM?
(Preview)
My AM hasn't said to me that she's an A but from a conversation my brother told me he heard (concerning my AM and her best friend who was up visiting us weeks ago) were having my AM told her best friend that people have told my AM that she is an A and
my AM acknowledges that she is an A, yet hasn't taken that seco...
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phoenixmagicgirl
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3
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241
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Maybe I need to Let go and let god. Acceptance.
(Preview)
Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am grateful member of al-anon. In 2 weeks it will be 3 years! Today, I want to share on something before I go to bed. It's something that I'm a little down on and right now I am looking to accept it but am having trouble. For my sanity, I am asking if maybe I should. I have...
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slogan_jim
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8
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394
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Happy Moms Day and momma figure day
(Preview)
I had a good day with my parents and children.. inspite of my AH acting an A$$ the whole time . I read and have started planning just in casue my one day at a time ends ,,, I am trading my dream sport car for a small suv..he all of a sudden has issue with this, I am setting my job etc to benefit me and am putting mone...
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sweeetr
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2
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195
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Boyfriend coming home from rehab - mixed feelings
(Preview)
Hi All! Hope you are all doing well. My ABF is scheduled to come home from rehab on Monday. He will have been there for 18 days (19 if you count Monday, but he's getting released around 11 am). I have pretty mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I feel happy and excited to have him home. On the other h...
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rookie95
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6
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2506
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Being dad to 3 girls
(Preview)
Just sucks wondering if things will work out when mom gets out of rehab
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Lou J
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7
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404
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I hate this and I stink at it.
(Preview)
I'm doin the best I possibly can to walk away from him when he's drinking. He got off at lunch and been drinking all day. Decided he would camp outside with our son and they set up tent. He kept goin back to store for thinks they need marshmallows etc. I said I was gonna let them have boy time and I went in house...
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sweeetr
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12
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667
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Dog Mom
(Preview)
My little doggie son is snoozing on his bed with his little stuffed animal this morning and I'm getting the house cleaned up for Mother's Day BBQ. The TV is on this morning - just for noise while I clean my house - and there was a news story about couples who choose not to have children and the stigma that com...
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blondie99
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3
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289
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Starting fresh, but handling anger/resentment
(Preview)
So, my AH is really trying hard these days to be a family with us again. He's been pleasant, there's been no passive aggressive crud thrown my way, he's been communicative, and he's been very helpful and sweet around the house. We've been going to lunch weekly(past 2 weeks), the first lunch was disas...
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ilovedogs
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9
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397
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Seeking help/advice for today
(Preview)
Hi there! I know, it has been ages since my last post. A lot has transpired over the last few months. It has been a real roller coaster ride and it isn't over yet! My AH decided to sober up after being jailed in another state for public intoxication I left him there to fend for himself because in addit...
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almostgivenup
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8
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357
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Great Interview!!
(Preview)
The job interview that I was all in an uproar about could not have gone better. They didn't make a job offer but were asking about start dates, etc. so I feel really positive about it. I have a few more scheduled but this was the biggie and the first. I prayed for it to be an experience that made me more confi...
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wornoutmrsfixit
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4
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297
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5 months well played
(Preview)
Those self pity, loathing characteristics arrived again toady and unfortunately they consumed my AH. 5 months sober and he couldn't do it anymore. I told him if he starts drinking again, I would take the kids and we would go out so we don't have to deal with him when he is drinking. So here we are at my m...
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1976love
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5
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284
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Edited Co-worker question
(Preview)
Sorry, I guess I didn't add an important thing, (in my emotional state last night) I am the coordinator of 5 peoples appts, and when they arrive late or go out for a smoke, I am the one who has to deal with the person who has the appt and make excuses why the advisor is not ready to see them. I guess I look like th...
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oldergal
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4
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260
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There once was a girl who was born to A parents and grew up to marry an A and well once she found al-anon........
(Preview)
alittle over 2 years ago when I found al-anon I was broken with no self esteem. I didn't have boundaries or even knew I should have boundaries. I was a miserable. dysfunctional, sad, victimized wreck of a young woman. I am so proud to say I will be 35 years old this month, I just passed this semeste...
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Breakingfree
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14
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485
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Starting to Trust again
(Preview)
Ok, I usually write about the things I can change and what to put things into perspective: In this case I'm not dealing with an alcoholic or addict. So today I finished the rest of the divorce process.....I quit my job and will hopefully start a new one soon. I am wondering what to do in this situation??? W...
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RoseODAT
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4
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432
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Seeing a councelor today
(Preview)
Hey Guys, I decided to seek out some outside help with my recovery as their are some things that I have learned through al-anon about myself that I feel I need some outside help with. The appointment is this morning but I made it about 2 weeks ago and today I feel great! What's the issue again? lol I can't se...
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slogan_jim
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6
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253
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it is coming right along...
(Preview)
First eye surgery on June 4th. Went for all the tests on Tuesday--now I wait. The surgery is RLE just like getting cataracts removed. I am excited but trying to live one day at a time. Breathe in breathe out. Searching for serenity in all of this. I have to travel 2 hrs. to get to the place where I will have th...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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234
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annoying toolbar
(Preview)
Today when I try to read the topics I get a wide toolbar on the right of related topics. I have to click the X and read a post. I open another and it is back. I tried to click the T on the other side and it tool me to a toolbar removal thing that had to be downloaded. I started to do that and got a warning from my compu...
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afglin
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1
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211
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Mothers Day
(Preview)
With Mothers Day fast approaching i am full of so many feelings. My mother became an addict during my adult life. Our relationship has been strained, to say the least, since that time. I try to detachwith love but she does not allow that to happen. She wants to start fights, pretend she is not using and t...
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LadyBug
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2
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219
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Making a Change Today w/Dysfunctional Family
(Preview)
I've been the scapegoat of my family since I was 12 and that, plus the fact that I was just "born sensitive" led me to a lifetime of suffering, drinking, drug use, unsafe sex, approval seeking, and shame. I'm 46 now and have been through the 12 steps as laid out in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anon...
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WorkingThroughIt
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8
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534
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feeling low
(Preview)
I missed all the alanon meetings this week as I was taking seminars at the employment centre. Then Thursday I missed one of the seminars because my son wasn't feeling well and stayed home from school. So I rescheduled that one for the end of the month. I'm slowly coming to grips with how I will retrain an...
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forestfairy
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3
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237
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Not so bad, but bad for me
(Preview)
I am married to a man who has a drinking problem - whether he's an alcoholic or not...I don't know. My gut says yes as we have been married 20 years and have four children together. I come from a family of alcoholics too. Last year we almost divorced over the drinking but managed to eek in a few counseling...
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tiredof_it
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6
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421
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Free at last
(Preview)
It took some time for the courts to find the papers today in the piles and piles of divorce decrees, but I've got them in my hot little hands...it's over and done. Divorce is final. I've been going to Al-Anon meetings every day this week because I knew this day would come. I'm feeling angry and sad and disa...
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blondie99
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4
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442
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Good Morning
(Preview)
As I come to work every morning I drive down the freeway and always go past the Calvary Chuch that has this big sign with different messages on it everyday. I have come to look at it for my message from God for that day. Some days I don't get to see it because of maybe a truck in the way or I forget. I think.....
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Cathyinaz
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6
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351
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unsure about how to handle the situation
(Preview)
I have an alcoholic boyfriend who I have dated for about 2 years. We have lived together for about a year and a half. His drinking has been a problem for most of our relationship. We have gone through so many times of him 'getting sober' or getting help. I know he always did it for me to get me off of his back ab...
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Delilah88
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8
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425
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Trying my best to change
(Preview)
Here we go again. I'm trying my best to do what I can do to change my habits. There not bad habits its more like a routine . I am sacrfising alot to make things peaceful at home . If you all have been reading my post then you know I have a ah sober 6 months now with a major control problem. There is no easy way out fo...
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Ms co-dependent
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6
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512
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Further changes!
(Preview)
My 22 yr old daughter moved in with me today. Im happy with this. I have not lived with her since she was 17/18. She chose to stay with her Dad when I left. She is a hard working girl, well balanced considering she is the child of an alcoholic. Anyway, her stuff is here and now I am feeling unbalanced, a bit anx...
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el-cee
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9
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393
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the cycle
(Preview)
I don't know what to say other than I am frustrated and disgusted at the fact that I am back in the SAME PLACE with my AB like 3 months ago. He went through this I can control my drinking phase, 14 times over the course of 2 and a half years of dating, and finally in February he decided to go to AA, which then tur...
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giraffe13
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16
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695
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The crisis call
(Preview)
Good Evening all I got the crisis call but it wasn't from my son it was from my X asking me what to do. His son is so so sick and can't even get up off the couch at this point. I just told him that his son didn't call me because I said to never call me again when he is sick, in withdrawals and needs a hospital becau...
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Cathyinaz
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16
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644
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People Projecting fears.
(Preview)
Today at work we had a 'Town Hall meeting'. The Director for our department came in an updated us on what was happening and our productivity results etc.... There was no bad news but he was dodging some questions about outsourcing. I didn't interpret this meeting as anything bad, but as per everyone el...
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slogan_jim
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6
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522
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What I did
(Preview)
For so long I have come to the rescue of my son. He would call all hours and beg for me to help him.I would rush to his side and scoop him up and bring him to the ER.I would sit for hours waiting if they were going to keep him or transfer him to detox. If they kept him, I'd give him a hug, tell him I would be back in...
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Cathyinaz
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14
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571
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How to deal with resentment when they are abusive when your partner relapses???
(Preview)
Need help with all the resentment i have towards the recovering alcholic in my life. he has drank 3 times that i know of in 3.5 months as he is recovering i encouraged him to enroll in college to persue his dreams as i do not drink to support his sobriety. but i am seriously at my witts end i have been with him f...
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taurus86
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2
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389
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Job Interviews
(Preview)
I have a few interviews scheduled for next week. It's been a while since I have had to go on one and I am now remembering how nervous these type of situations make me even though I am confident in my ability to handle the job itself and usually do much better at these type of things than I envision. It just tak...
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wornoutmrsfixit
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13
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376
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Still here
(Preview)
Trolling around and reading posts... I am lost. don't know what else to say.
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dponlyme
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10
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266
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feeling really conflicted
(Preview)
My stbxah just called to tell me that he has been losing the sight in his right eye and he thinks he will be dead within 3 years. He wanted me to know that he is keeping me as the benficiary of his life insurance. I have so many different emotions going on right now. Part of me feels like he is being manipulativ...
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scaredandconfused
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5
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401
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OK... that wasn't a good meeting...
(Preview)
I tried a new meeting this afternoon, and arrived late due to trouble finding the building. They'd already finished the reading and started sharing. I tried to signal to the woman running the meeting to please pass me the daily reader they were using, but she wouldn't. Which would have been fine, if th...
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atheos
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5
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477
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just really not sure which way to turn
(Preview)
I am new to this site but needing support, comfort and advice...I have been in a relationship with a addict now for 3 years... he is currently in a IP rehab.. he was clean for the first two years that we were together but relapsed 7 months ago... i snooped and found out that he had been cheating, lying, stea...
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lbegcgpg
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3
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448
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First time AFG- first post- first AH rehab, killing time?
(Preview)
Hello all, I never thought I would find myself here. But alas I am sure none of us did. My AH is in Rehab for 22 days, both of our first times dealing with this, and I am almost not sure what to do with myself?! I work full time, have a great career, finances are all caught up (now), the house is spotless. I have...
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Halo
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9
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417
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I WON'T BE ABLE TO CHAIR THE MEETING THIS MORNING THURSDAY
(Preview)
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mercedes1959
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0
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145
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Prayers and Support, please
(Preview)
Asking for prayers and support for today as we go to court to face a man who believes we owe him money. I engaged in many attempts to reason with him until I realized the efforts were futile..I told him to go ahead and do what he needed to do. I am in gratitude for the tools of al anon and recognize that I am of...
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PP
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9
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443
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Stephen
(Preview)
Hi MiP Family 5-6-7 The month, the day and the year that my son lost his battle with alcoholism . Thank God for alanon and the tools. I would not have survived otherwise. Stephen always in my heart
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hotrod
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28
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551
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Frustrated, angry and tired
(Preview)
Today and more recently in the past week or so, I've been getting more frustrated, angry and tired of dealing with the constant craziness that is living with my AM. I'm short tempered with my family members, especially my AM. I'm going to meetings, my dad and I went to one last night. :). I'm remembering...
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phoenixmagicgirl
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6
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574
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Agressive Family Member
(Preview)
Hi I have a brother who has a drink problem. Himself and his family come to stay with us a few times a year for upto 10 days or so a time. Hes a binge drinker and is quite agressive by nature. We had a big argument the other night and he started to get physical with me. I didnt react to the provocation, not physic...
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heredia1
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6
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486
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Hard to stop stewing
(Preview)
I separated from my AH (still drinking, denying there's a problem) 3 months ago. We have a 17 year old daughter. Yesterday I emailed him to check on some August dates when I have the opportunity to travel for work for a 2 week period. (It's a great opportunity, something i'm excited about, and it would...
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norasq
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7
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449
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Feeling hopeless about obsessive thoughts
(Preview)
I am new to this site and looking for connection. I just had my 3rd year anniversary in Alanon. I am almost done with Blueprint for Progress. I have learned so much about myself from the 4th step and am truly grateful for it! I have a great sponsor that is willing to keep working with me even though she h...
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beginnow
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16
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1598
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Threats/coercion
(Preview)
At Easter this year I was given a last minute second-hand invitation to my brother's house (out of state) and could not get everything together in time to go, nor was I going to accept it. So I stayed home. They all knew how hurt I was but I was really not surprised - I have known for a few years that I've been t...
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WorkingThroughIt
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17
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640
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MONDAY MORNING MEETING 9AM (EST) - TOPICS: The 3 C's (I didn't cause it, I cannot cure it,I cannot control it), etc.
(Preview)
MONDAY MORNING MEETING 9AM (EST) - TOPICS: The 3 C's (I didn't cause it, I cannot cure it,I cannot control it), etc. Meeting scheduled in the Al-Anon chat room. TOPICS: The 3 C's (I didn't cause it, I cannot cure it, I cannot control it) Changed attitudes can aid recovery ...
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shimo
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0
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200
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fun stuff at home...not!
(Preview)
Hi All: I have a few friends who suggested that instead of giving AH a moveout date (June 1),said to tell him to stay somewhere else until he had his own apt. Now I can see why! I have been trying to do this the civil way, and at this point our kids are not aware of what's happening so that is on the brain as wel...
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yanksfan51
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3
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348
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Sexual intimacy in Al-anon recovery
(Preview)
After at least three years of unresolved anger, which resulted in consistent nagging and anger towards me for not seeing her point of view on nearly everything or being just like her, my wife of 15 years at my urging and her own acceptance rejoined Al-anon after an absecence of at least a decade, got a sp...
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Bondjamesbond
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10
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2198
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