The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
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level.
Sorry, I guess I didn't add an important thing, (in my emotional state last night) I am the coordinator of 5 peoples appts, and when they arrive late or go out for a smoke, I am the one who has to deal with the person who has the appt and make excuses why the advisor is not ready to see them. I guess I look like the bad guy and our department is not represented very well. No I am not just watching other employees randomly, it is part of my job to know who is where and are they available. I have said something but it doesnt seem to be changing. I will deal with it in some way if it gets to be too much, I am not a marter (sp) thats for sure, just looking for others opinion.
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Don't Worry About Growing Old, It Is A Privilege For Some Of Us.....
I would have to talk to them personally. Tell the person the problem you are having when a advisor is not ready. Ask them what would they do and make a point to be serious about it. Find a solution with them.
When it comes to my job....I am in your face if things aren't going right. Maybe not always the right way but sometimes with some it is what it is.
After 33 years in one place, having learned every position I mean what I say, say what I mean....and no when I'm in your face I'm not mean....just firm in my convictions.
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
That's tricky. I think I would be tempted not to make excuses for the people who were late for the appointment. Like "I'm sorry, he's still on his cigarette break/in the bathroom/talking with somebody else out back".
Can you simply say to the people arriving for appointments "So-and-so is not here right now, would you like to take a seat and wait?". Then you don't worry about it any more.
I work as a receptionist, so I kind of end up in these situations too sometimes. I was in a sticky situation (as a middle-aged female receptionist) recently where it was implied to me by one of the owners that I was to act practically as a bodyguard if an angry, former-employee tried to enter the building. Ok well the former employee is a 6 ft 2 athletic guy who has been in jail many times. Since it was a passive-aggressive move on the part of my boss, I decided to be passive-aggressive back in this one instance and just conveniently be in the bathroom when angry former-employee was due to show up. That was unacceptable to me, that they expected me to do that. I would have been willing to quit over it, if it came down to it.
Do the 'absent' employees actually create these appointments that they are showing up late for? If so, that's their fault, not yours.
I guess what I'd get down to, bottom line, is to find out whether it is now part of your job description to be Queen Excuse-Maker for others? If so, at that point you can decide whether you are willing to do that every day or not. (But I know just leaving and getting another job is easier said than done).
Considering these are co-workers, I'm glad you are willing to let them know what kind of position you are being put in when they aren't available for their scheduled appointments. Sometimes, people aren't even aware that their action (or ours) is hurting us (or others). Making excuses, to me, is part of what we learn we aren't to do with the As in our lives. I think we can apply that same logic with co-workers. I'd try to avoid a crisis by talking with them about the position I'm finding myself in when they aren't available and that I've discovered that making excuses for them makes me feel bad about my own integrity before I act. But, after I talk with them, I'd follow through on my decision to stop making excuses for them by employing either of the two suggestions by Clearingthefog or a new one that my HP introduces for me to utilize.
i like the idea of not telling lies for anyone. Being honest about what they are doing. I would tell them my intentions first. I would say that I dont feel comfortable telling lies to clients so from now on I wont.
