Yeah!! there are soooo many people and sooo many things that give me the opportunity to loose focus on myself and just go at other people, places and things...why in the hell did I even need an alcoholic/addict to marry?   LOL  

There are lots of opportunities at my place of contract to do the same thing and sometimes I even take the opportunity to unfocus and then after I'm finished doing that I need to put in just as much "honest" time so I feel good about my billing.

Thank God for the program.   ((((hugs)))) 

great post...

I find I just can't worry about it. It's their problem. When it comes to the work place you don't have control of, it will just drive yourself nuts. If you can't say anything you just have to turn a blind eye.

There's a gaggle of women at work that take 3 hour lunch breaks. I think now the bosses are seeing some stuff that has not been done. I'm noticing shorter lunch breaks LOL. It was never my style to do that much farting around at work (except when I was an active drinker and I slept off hangovers at work - yeah...terrible). I guess I have stuff to make up for. I don't sweat it much. I like to be more productive anyhow. They can chit chat and have their extended luncheons anyhow.

This goes on in my workplace too and no... it's not my business.  I have a team member who joins our call late every week.  I often see them just shooting the breeze with someone at that time. I could say that I feel that's disrespectful to the rest of us who are at the meeting on time and that his late arrival is disruptive and then there is backtracking to things that have already been covered to fill him in on what he's missed.  Ultimately.... it's my bosses choice of how our team meetings are handled. She has never asked for input from us concerning how our team meetings might be more productive.  So... I've come to accept what my team meeting looks like before I even attend. If it improves in some way that would be great but most importantly, I prepare to do my part in my role and detach from my team member's weekly apologies for arriving late.

Unlike the Alanon program, we're not all regarded as equals in the program of work in the workplace. Favoritism exists.  Part of my growing up in this program has been to let go the illusory belief that right will always prevail over wrong, the best man/woman wins and good will always prevail over evil.  I've found the best I can do is be mindful of my own motives, value system, code of ethics.  I may not come to my work meeting late but I do other things.  I'm not a stellar perfect employee.  Thank goodness I'm human!  I find myself hyperfocused on others and what they're doing when I'm aggravated about things in my own life.  "How important is it?"  This is definitely influenced by the amount of serenity I'm walking around with.  If I'm not in a good place, the stinking thinking is working overtime.  For instance, while on my team's phone call in my thoughts I'm pointing my finger and rolling my eyes at this guy who comes late and offers excuses. Now not only is my serenity further compromised but I'm building a big resentment.  Am I concentrating on the meeting now?  No.  Is there a difference between him missing time in our meeting due to being late and me not being present because my focus is on him being late?  No.  Would I prefer that my supervisor not let him disrupt our meeting by coming late, sure I would. Do I have control over that?  No.  Meanwhile my higher power is tapping me on the shoulder saying "hey, YOU."  Me?  Oh..yeah, HP Lesson 1:  Point finger at self.  

Thanks for your honest share about this.  I can appreciate your frustration.  I'm human and no matter how long I'm in this program I doubt I'll be oblivious to what's going on around me with others. But when I notice, thankfully time and experience in Alanon has given me the tools to refocus quicker like saying the Serenity Prayer. I have serenity now since Alanon. I know that all my life I will come upon situations that call for making a conscious choice to keep my serenity.  I prefer the pay off when I don't choose to give my power away.  I'm usually happier with daily inventory and I sleep more peacefully. TT

It's good you've said something to them directly first instead of just jumping over their heads. Nothing creates unnecessary tension worse than someone going over another person's head. Part of my problem as an Al-Anon is I like to avoid confrontation and will opt to take what seems the easiest route... i.e.: drop the problem in someone else's lap instead of sticking up for myself.

I'm not sure what you said to them, but what you may want to do is try to come from the approach of "how can I be of assistance" - but not "how can I be your doormat". Maybe request a small meeting and say "wow guys, hey - schedules are getting screwy. Can you help me out here and let's all agree on set times for smoke breaks so we can make sure these appointments aren't getting delayed." Or something to that affect. If necessary, bring your supervisor into the conversation, but not as an "I'm telling on you" kind of way, but just to get their input. You might also talk to your supervisor about the issue and ask how they'd like you to approach the situation... maybe they have some suggestions, so again, you're not suddenly calling down the thunder of having the supervisor talk to them, but maybe you're getting some empowerment from your supervisor on getting the situation sorted out.

I can tell you that all of life's challenges are so much easier for me when I approach it with that "how can I be of assistance" standpoint instead of "you people are making my life miserable and need to change".

The great thing about Al-Anon is it can be applied to all aspects of our lives... remember you're powerless over their behavior but you can certainly change yours. If no solutions come about at all, even after attempting a group discussion that involves everyone's input, then you can re-examine and ask yourself "how important is it". And when you answer that, then you can figure out where to go from there.