The material presented
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Those self pity, loathing characteristics arrived again toady and unfortunately they consumed my AH. 5 months sober and he couldn't do it anymore. I told him if he starts drinking again, I would take the kids and we would go out so we don't have to deal with him when he is drinking. So here we are at my moms, waiting for him to pass out so we can go home. So typical, tomorrow is Mother's Day. You would think I could at least have that. I feel sad, but driving with the kids I felt good. Confident in my decision that even though I love my AH I will not subject us to the craziness of alcoholism. To all the Mom's out there...Happy Mother's Day and let the light shine anyway you can!
Part of me wants to be like "You should have kicked his selfish butt out so you and the kids could enjoy your house!" But in reality I know you can't control him and that would have triggered a worse fight about "I have the right to do what I want in MY house....blah blah..." So you made a good move as long at he doesn't take advantage of this dynamic and figure all he has to do to have the house to himself to ask like a reckless teenager is start drinking. At some point, the kids knowing what's going on and coming home to dad passed out is also traumatic. There is no 100 percent right answer but it does sound like you are doing the best you can and that's better than freaking out, controlling, or doing nothing.
Wishing you peace and serenity wherever you go and whatever happens with him.
Im sorry hes back to his old ways. You handled things well, no drama but I tend to think like Pinkchip that he might enjoy this new power. I did this once and I stayed away for 2 days, when I came back I dont even think he knew I was gone. Its not nice for the kids, confusing and unsettling. Also, I think I gave my kids false hope that finally we were done with him and his drinking.
Yes, I did that last night so like pinchip said, I don't have to hear "this is my house, I pay the mortgage" I just wanted to surround myself with positive, and let him dwell in his sorrows. When I came home he was shaving his head (honorably dicharged marine, he loves the military) and I thought...Good luck with that. I do see how doing that can make him think he has gotten away with it. Today I will focus on me and the kids...come up with an appropriate boundary and see if that works. Someone once said if plan A doesn't work don't worry you have still have 25 letters to go! Thanks so much for your replies and hope...I'm ready to tackle this this day!!!
