Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

trudgingalong · trudgingalong

Hi All, Quick background - hubbies been sober for several years now, with an "almost" slip last year. This past June I found him sexting with a newly sober woman living in a half way house..... - a month later found a singles profile set up - he was actively talking to women...... He promised...

seeking929 · seeking929

Hello. I visited this site a few minutes ago and read some posts that really related to me. I finally feel a connection to al-anon due to this site. Let me explain. I met my now husband and didn't know he was an alcoholic. We got engaged and I still didn't know. Not until a few weeks before the wedding....

gofred123 · gofred123

Now with things settling down, plans made to separate my wife and I are exploring a "controlled Seperation" from the book "Do I Go or Do I Stay" AA has got me back on track in handling emotional issues after returning full time back in September and true emotions are creeping out...

thepolarbear · thepolarbear

Hi, I'm new here. And new to this hell called alcoholism. I met a wonderful man in summer of last year. It was the most glorious time of my life - we spent 3 months getting to know each other and it finally turned into a romance - but at its heart was a beautiful friendship. He was everything I'd ever wanted in...

oldergal · oldergal

Thomas Merton said that the way we have structured our lives, we spend our whole life climbing up the ladder of supposed success, and when we get to the top of the ladder we realize it is leaning against the wrong walland there is nothing at the top anyway. To get back to the place of inherent abundance, yo...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

Starting a new job as a head start teacher (orientation tomorrow morning and I'm still up...too excited...) I'm content that in progress, I'm becoming mentally healthy again. I have not had much money since I quit a job in March......but we were all healthy, with shelter, food, good grades (the ki...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together Step 4 has been posted to the Step Work Board.Please share your thoughts http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t5542681...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I could really use some prayers if you have a few to spare. My mother died as a result of the hurricane last year. I feel numb. Today is the day the hurricane happened. I learned at work that someone with no real knowledge and a only a temporary employee was shown favoritism because of lots of manipulati...

mm830 · mm830

This is kind of me trying to reason this one out, but why am I so unbelievably angry that A can't support me the way I need to be supported. I know I may as well go talk to a bowl of jello and it would make me feel more understood plus its colorful and happy. I mean really its more a question of why am I trying to get...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just a short reflection: My step-mom passed away 2 years ago yesterday. I forgot to mention it in my last post. I put her photo on Facebook. She is on my mind today as well. It hurts a lot because my mom who is still alive is slipping from me. Kathleen

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

I know not everyone uses music, but music is how I relate, commutate at times and well. Music is my thing for a lot. This is a song IF I decide to leave my A means something to me. And sometimes I think when I hear it helps me decide what I really want. I am at my cross road so it hits home. I wish I could play it fo...

abbyalana · abbyalana

For some reason I had this surge of personal growth last week. I feel like I "let go" and it's scary and exciting all at the same time. I am not worrying anymore about the exAH. If court stuff happens...it happens and I will handle it. I am not worrying about the house and bills anymore. I'v...

nancymom4 · nancymom4

I am feeling blue today. Recently realizing my spouse Alcoholic (sober) is so distant from me. Not knowing if we will ever be close again. Not giving up but just coming to a realization of our relationship. Now 3 of the 4 kids are mostly grown and doing their own thing. The now 14 yr. old is in her teenage di...

Jen61 · Jen61

Number 1 is that I finished step 1. I now have 2 sponsors and met with one last night. She has been going to Al-anon for a long time and really knows her stuff. She gave me a lot of food for thought. Will be interesting to see what the next sponsor will say. I have a lot of stuff running through my mind so an...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Even w/ what I call the crazies, I am still here! My mom & I have barely talked since she got home Tuesday. She is in jeopardy of losing her license & is running around all over town on foot mostly. She is 70 & is acting like she has it all together. I mean 70 year old women do have it together but i a...

mm830 · mm830

I pray that I can choose my thoughts wisely today and see the gift of the new day in front of me. Why do I have to choose pain today when there are so many other options? I will choose to make today a day full of love, peace, and self care. Plus give some love to those around me who need it. Have a wonderful day mip...

neshema2 · neshema2

I did a post that broke the alanon rules about religion, et al... Sorry...I didn't know......If I offended anyone w/my post, I apologize.....I will not mention anything but "HP" ....that should keep me from messing up I saw some of you posting to me b4 it was taken down.... Thank you for yo...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Tomorrow is the day of my daughter's Halloween party. People don't really celebrate Halloween in a major way in Australia; you get the odd groups of kids trick-or-treating and they have a few decorations in the supermarkets in recent years but it's not recognised by most so those odd groups of kids tr...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Ok, everyone, I have a confession to make and I am grateful today that I actually have awareness of what my brain is doing right now. My AH is shutting me out more than usual, not even making eye contact with me, not communicating with me unless he absolutely must speak. I believe he's using it as his own...

hotrod · hotrod

Good Morning MIP Family Today's Quote from Courage to Change is a powerful thought "That the birds of worry and care fly above your head , this you cannot change,But that they build nests in your hair this you can prevent. Do not let the birds build a nest today

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

Hello all. I hope everyone is happy today!! Last night it seemed comical, but feeling the effects of it today. Some days when Mr Dry jerk has a bad day it doesnt bother or affect me much. Last night, I brought up my book that I always wanted to write and somehow we got on the subject of me going back to school...

mongowal · mongowal

I can't seem to stop crying today. I can't even pin point it down to anything that has happened. I went to my f2f meeting today which previously has always been very calming and serene for me. My emotions are running wild and I can't control them at all. I know I'm being irrational but can't seem to st...

Sefrin · Sefrin

1st time posting here, my wife is a Alcholic, has been for years-she nearly drank herself to death a few years ago 30+ a day, and got violent at the end. Long story short 6' guy had to get a restraining order on his 5'3" wife. After that she was sober for 3 great years then decided to start drinking agai...

Jen61 · Jen61

So manipulative and can lie lie lie while looking right in your eyes. When will I ever learn.

Jozie · Jozie

Hello All, Its Been a Long Time & I Have So Missed Each of you, and your ESH, and Love & Kindness... As Winter Nears My Time I Hope to Free up for More time with all of you! Welp...Today Marks (3) Years Sober for Me... And I have to Say.. I Couldn't be Happier! I have Grown to New Hieghts, I have Made Pla...

kickstart77 · kickstart77

A few days back, my boyfriend told me he is searching for an emptiness inside, he wants adventure, needs to fill a whole so big inside, he wants to take his car to wherever the wind takes him. And, in our up and down unpredictable year and a half relationship, it all made sense. He wanted me, but sometimes....

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Well today for some reason life is hard to manage for me with AH not working unable to get to my Therepy today due to know health insurance . I am very down in the dumps today . I said my serenity pray every half an hour for me to accept I can't change the current situation , that I can't how much our lives had cha...

OneMan · OneMan

Hello everyone. I googled al anon forums and found this place. I know what al anon is, I have been going to meetings for about a year now. I am familiar with the 12 steps, by no means an expert; as for meetings I just go-when-I-can sort of thing. I am a male in my late 20's, soon to be not married with two small...

tweety23 · tweety23

I am feeling kind of sad lately because I keep seeing pics on Facebook of friends getting together with other couples for dinner parties and the like. We have no more couples to get together with. Either AH scared them off and they no longer call or I put off getting together with "nice" frien...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi All I have never ever went away by myself on a holiday. But this year I'm going to go see my sister in CA for Thanksgiving. Leaving my SO and my son alone to fend for themselves. I'm feeling bad about it but why should I. I have spent so many Thanksgivings either without them or drunk or mad or whatever...

el-cee · el-cee

I have missed a couple of meetings lately. It is not like me at all. Its the horrible wintery nights drawing in though. I get in from work and I want to stay in the house and argue with myself for a while and then Its too late anyway. I need to get my mojo back and get moving. Thanks for listening.

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Because she has been having a lot of behavioral problems at school and at her afterschool program. While I am in school I obviously haven't been able to give her what she needs. I feel terrible about this, but think it may be the best for her. He is not drinking and is a great dad, he only works until 4 pm and h...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

I can see a little more clearly today. I was angry for a short time on Sunday. Stared at the A while he spoke gibberish and the whole time I don't think I heard one word he actually said.My mind was busy picking up some of my tools and planning. Funny part was most of the planning was already there. I had sa...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Time is running out today. I am so frustrated because my mom is home & she is still not herself yet! I don't know is she ever will be. She has been in two hospitals for over 2 mos. I am expecting & I probably shouldn't her to recover from this hopeless mind & body situation! I guess I am a pessimis...

Rose50 · Rose50

After 6 months of unemployment, I have finally landed a job! Today was my first day and I am tired but certainly not complaining. Boy do I need this to keep me busy and my mind occupied.

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Oh, just lol. After mentioning on Raven's post that I'd go to bed and focus on making a gratitude list instead of thinking angry thoughts about the A, I did so. My list went something like this. 1) I'm grateful that the A got angry and locked himself in his own room because he's snoring so loudly the walls a...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

Remember me? I haven't posted for a little while but I've been reading and kerping up with everyone. Need some MIP clarity. I left the AH a year ago in August. This August was looming large for him because he knew I was going to file for divorce the day I could. He was ordered in July to install an ignition lo...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Having co-dependency means that, at some point, I completely lost myself in another person - a person that happened to be an alcoholic. That means that for that entire decade there was a whirlwind of chaos, emotional breaking, depression, and anxiety. I had no boundaries. I said I wouldn't accept...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Here is a relaxation track I found that is much more soothing than listening to the A shout and bang things around when he is drunk. I hope it helps others as much as it has helped me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e59guruVL4o

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Blessed Sunday everyone I'm sitting here right now looking at my SO asleep on the chair. Yesterday he slept all day and now today he will. He doesn't help around here just works, eats and sleeps. I'm so ready to move on and I want so bad to just wake him up and tell him but I know it's not a good time. I'm not...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am still in pain but i want to catch up w/ and to all of you! Up to speed: I had 2 massages last week & discovered it is massage therapy & somewhat painful but it is helping! I haven't been back to the chiropractor since I last posted. Don't plan to either. My husband puts a special salve I guess on my...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Today when I woke up, I immediately began to feel angry. I was angry because I slept late, and I had things I wanted to do, things I Had To Do, and it's my day off, and I'm already not enjoying it. I felt stressed, since ABF was getting drunk and high all last night, and I could hear him banging around in the kit...

Grumble · Grumble

MY ACOA double winner BF - clean for 12 years, works the program - has just had a complete shutdown.i We had a great relationship, had a fight and he shut down, asked for space, I had issues giving it to him and we argued, I pushed him to dump me. He said he doesn't know what happened but he doesn't feel the s...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning 4 days my son has been out of rehab. Text him to say HI and how his new place was. Called got voice mail..... No response for two days. OH WELL Let go Let God........

Mari1978 · Mari1978

My current avatar reminds me that sometimes I feel like I'm lost in a corn field. I have 2 choices. I can panic or use the brain I have been given to calmly assess the situation and decide to save my energy to finding my way out. After wandering around for a lengthy period of time I become tired and frustra...

Gaby · Gaby

So my son is talking to his baby's momma and I feel nothing but tension between he and I.. This past Sunday he has made me feel horrible. He says he us stressed out. Well gosh knows what she is saying to him because he doesn't open up to me. When I call him I feel like nothing but his punching bag. As a mother I wo...

bud · bud

This past Wednesday, my Dad told me that he may go to a step down unit on Thursday. He is exhausted from lack of sleep that comes with the territory of being in a hospital- that -combined with his stroke affected speech - truly limits how he can express himself. I told him that it was a real treat for me to h...

safehaven · safehaven

Hi. I am new to this board. Fairly new to learning about alcoholism and all that surrounds it. While I had an uncle and an older brother who were both alcoholic, I wasn't around either before they cleaned themselves up. The uncle has passed and my brother and I are almost twenty years apart so we were neve...

hotrod · hotrod

I have found this to be so true

Milehi-tlc · Milehi-tlc

So as many of you probably remember my AH filed for divorce in July. Through alanon I detached because really I had no other choice. Seems my detachment escalated his disease and the verbal abuse and anger was off the charts. I do believe my HP took the controls out of my hand because I struggled for y...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

Does anyone know how I can find a list of meetings in my area? I have left 3 messages for the Rochester NY al Anon group and emailed a few times and nothing back. I looked around online but it keeps taking my back to their phone and email address. All I want is to find a face to face ad getting a little nervous...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Hi everyone, AH has been gone in St Thomas for his sales incentive trip for the past week. I chose not to go for many reasons, including the fact that my mom couldn't fly out to watch our son. Anyway, I am nervous about his homecoming. It's been such a peaceful week, the TV has barely been on, we got lots o...

stilllearning · stilllearning

Hello everyone just wanted to see what others have done with nightmares. I have been pretty freaked out by some lately. Tried telling myself I am ok... but it seemed so real...(freaked me out bad enough could go back to sleep last night) and the feelings have hung with me all day. Any ideas, techniques...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Everything was going so well. Then I slipped back into my old ways. I snooped, looking for things I already knew but didn't want to find. I snapped and started an argument. After months of doing so well, there we were right back in our old roles. I was screaming, he was threatening to go to a bar. Fortunate...

likemyheart · likemyheart

THE SHOEBOX A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her abou...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I must say I am glad I'm reading and learning how to stay out of the way of things that can take me off my way to recovery . I have seen a post that was sent to me enormously and it's quite upsetting knowing that my A is telling false truth. He not being honest at all .and I can see how ppl have to look at it and respo...

neshema2 · neshema2

Being agnostic about creator's involvement in my life has caused me much sorrow...like i was missing something...robbed of it and , i know, it goes waaay back to as a child when the abuser would tell me he was "doing this to me b/c *god* told him to teach me about sex"that wasn't the biginning...

Gaby · Gaby

Hello every one. As I have shared my son has been home after being in a Christian base rehab going on 5 1/2 months completely clean from all and working his program. He has a job now that he truly enjoys and I have to admit he has been doing really good. He and a female roommate live in our rental just a few hous...

Dawn14 · Dawn14

This is my first post here. i am living with an AH and I am miserable. We been having marital problems for almost 2 years. Tried counseling, only made it worse. I have tried to leave twice. Both times I get the "I will change, my family is so important to me. Or even worse he threatens to kill himself an...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Hi y'all. Today my new therapist pointed out that I had a lot of perfectionism. (I told her I want the truth). I agree. Then I opened up Courage To Change and whaddya know! It said that we develop perfectionism to cope with blame and criticism growing up. As many of you know my situation with the famil...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Women texting my husband (Preview) Hi All, Quick background - hubbies been sober for several years now, with an "almost" slip last year. This past June I found him sexting with a newly sober woman living in a half way house..... - a month later found a singles profile set up - he was actively talking to women...... He promised...	trudgingalong	18	1282	Nov 2, 2013 by likemyheart
	Online Sponsorship (Preview) Hello. I visited this site a few minutes ago and read some posts that really related to me. I finally feel a connection to al-anon due to this site. Let me explain. I met my now husband and didn't know he was an alcoholic. We got engaged and I still didn't know. Not until a few weeks before the wedding....	seeking929	17	524	Nov 2, 2013 by Tasha
	has any experienced "control Seperation" (Preview) Now with things settling down, plans made to separate my wife and I are exploring a "controlled Seperation" from the book "Do I Go or Do I Stay" AA has got me back on track in handling emotional issues after returning full time back in September and true emotions are creeping out...	gofred123	6	403	Nov 2, 2013 by el-cee
	Trying to figure it all out (Preview) Hi, I'm new here. And new to this hell called alcoholism. I met a wonderful man in summer of last year. It was the most glorious time of my life - we spent 3 months getting to know each other and it finally turned into a romance - but at its heart was a beautiful friendship. He was everything I'd ever wanted in...	thepolarbear	21	393	Nov 2, 2013 by Jerry F
	The Deepest You (Preview) Thomas Merton said that the way we have structured our lives, we spend our whole life climbing up the ladder of supposed success, and when we get to the top of the ladder we realize it is leaning against the wrong walland there is nothing at the top anyway. To get back to the place of inherent abundance, yo...	oldergal	9	538	Nov 1, 2013 by grateful2be
	Just a simple share (Preview) Starting a new job as a head start teacher (orientation tomorrow morning and I'm still up...too excited...) I'm content that in progress, I'm becoming mentally healthy again. I have not had much money since I quit a job in March......but we were all healthy, with shelter, food, good grades (the ki...	RoseODAT	12	361	Nov 2, 2013 by grateful2be
	ALANON STEP 4 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together Step 4 has been posted to the Step Work Board.Please share your thoughts http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t5542681...	hotrod	0	246	Nov 1, 2013 by hotrod
	Rough week ahead (Preview) I could really use some prayers if you have a few to spare. My mother died as a result of the hurricane last year. I feel numb. Today is the day the hurricane happened. I learned at work that someone with no real knowledge and a only a temporary employee was shown favoritism because of lots of manipulati...	tiredtonite	9	619	Nov 1, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Don't feel supported (Preview) This is kind of me trying to reason this one out, but why am I so unbelievably angry that A can't support me the way I need to be supported. I know I may as well go talk to a bowl of jello and it would make me feel more understood plus its colorful and happy. I mean really its more a question of why am I trying to get...	mm830	12	546	Nov 1, 2013 by Tasha
	sometimes it doesn't seem any easier. (Preview) Just a short reflection: My step-mom passed away 2 years ago yesterday. I forgot to mention it in my last post. I put her photo on Facebook. She is on my mind today as well. It hurts a lot because my mom who is still alive is slipping from me. Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	7	347	Nov 1, 2013 by Ness
	Just sharing........... (Preview) I know not everyone uses music, but music is how I relate, commutate at times and well. Music is my thing for a lot. This is a song IF I decide to leave my A means something to me. And sometimes I think when I hear it helps me decide what I really want. I am at my cross road so it hits home. I wish I could play it fo...	Iwantthingsback	5	442	Nov 1, 2013 by milkwood
	I had a breakthrough! (Preview) For some reason I had this surge of personal growth last week. I feel like I "let go" and it's scary and exciting all at the same time. I am not worrying anymore about the exAH. If court stuff happens...it happens and I will handle it. I am not worrying about the house and bills anymore. I'v...	abbyalana	8	270	Nov 1, 2013 by Jerry F
	feeling blue (Preview) I am feeling blue today. Recently realizing my spouse Alcoholic (sober) is so distant from me. Not knowing if we will ever be close again. Not giving up but just coming to a realization of our relationship. Now 3 of the 4 kids are mostly grown and doing their own thing. The now 14 yr. old is in her teenage di...	nancymom4	10	378	Nov 1, 2013 by nancymom4
	Just a few things (Preview) Number 1 is that I finished step 1. I now have 2 sponsors and met with one last night. She has been going to Al-anon for a long time and really knows her stuff. She gave me a lot of food for thought. Will be interesting to see what the next sponsor will say. I have a lot of stuff running through my mind so an...	Jen61	7	452	Nov 1, 2013 by Jerry F
	I am still here... (Preview) Even w/ what I call the crazies, I am still here! My mom & I have barely talked since she got home Tuesday. She is in jeopardy of losing her license & is running around all over town on foot mostly. She is 70 & is acting like she has it all together. I mean 70 year old women do have it together but i a...	Hoot Nanny	0	176	Oct 31, 2013 by Hoot Nanny
	Choosing to view today as a gift (Preview) I pray that I can choose my thoughts wisely today and see the gift of the new day in front of me. Why do I have to choose pain today when there are so many other options? I will choose to make today a day full of love, peace, and self care. Plus give some love to those around me who need it. Have a wonderful day mip...	mm830	6	263	Nov 1, 2013 by RoseODAT
	Apology to the board (Preview) I did a post that broke the alanon rules about religion, et al... Sorry...I didn't know......If I offended anyone w/my post, I apologize.....I will not mention anything but "HP" ....that should keep me from messing up I saw some of you posting to me b4 it was taken down.... Thank you for yo...	neshema2	14	605	Nov 1, 2013 by Rose50
	Kiddo's Halloween Party. (Preview) Tomorrow is the day of my daughter's Halloween party. People don't really celebrate Halloween in a major way in Australia; you get the odd groups of kids trick-or-treating and they have a few decorations in the supermarkets in recent years but it's not recognised by most so those odd groups of kids tr...	Melly1248	10	438	Nov 1, 2013 by el-cee
	OMG: My thinking is heading back toward denial?? HELP! (Preview) Ok, everyone, I have a confession to make and I am grateful today that I actually have awareness of what my brain is doing right now. My AH is shutting me out more than usual, not even making eye contact with me, not communicating with me unless he absolutely must speak. I believe he's using it as his own...	ilovedogs	9	418	Nov 1, 2013 by grateful2be
	Happy Halloween Thought for the day (Preview) Good Morning MIP Family Today's Quote from Courage to Change is a powerful thought "That the birds of worry and care fly above your head , this you cannot change,But that they build nests in your hair this you can prevent. Do not let the birds build a nest today	hotrod	6	477	Nov 1, 2013 by bud
	disease not the person (Preview) Hello all. I hope everyone is happy today!! Last night it seemed comical, but feeling the effects of it today. Some days when Mr Dry jerk has a bad day it doesnt bother or affect me much. Last night, I brought up my book that I always wanted to write and somehow we got on the subject of me going back to school...	Iwantthingsback	4	397	Oct 31, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	What is wrong with me (Preview) I can't seem to stop crying today. I can't even pin point it down to anything that has happened. I went to my f2f meeting today which previously has always been very calming and serene for me. My emotions are running wild and I can't control them at all. I know I'm being irrational but can't seem to st...	mongowal	12	883	Oct 31, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Broken (Preview) 1st time posting here, my wife is a Alcholic, has been for years-she nearly drank herself to death a few years ago 30+ a day, and got violent at the end. Long story short 6' guy had to get a restraining order on his 5'3" wife. After that she was sober for 3 great years then decided to start drinking agai...	Sefrin	8	476	Oct 31, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	If you give them an inch they take a mile... (Preview) So manipulative and can lie lie lie while looking right in your eyes. When will I ever learn.	Jen61	11	557	Oct 31, 2013 by Ness
	Im Doing 3-5... Thanks to All of You .... (Preview) Hello All, Its Been a Long Time & I Have So Missed Each of you, and your ESH, and Love & Kindness... As Winter Nears My Time I Hope to Free up for More time with all of you! Welp...Today Marks (3) Years Sober for Me... And I have to Say.. I Couldn't be Happier! I have Grown to New Hieghts, I have Made Pla...	Jozie	8	323	Oct 31, 2013 by Ness
	I am the Temporary (Preview) A few days back, my boyfriend told me he is searching for an emptiness inside, he wants adventure, needs to fill a whole so big inside, he wants to take his car to wherever the wind takes him. And, in our up and down unpredictable year and a half relationship, it all made sense. He wanted me, but sometimes....	kickstart77	6	403	Oct 31, 2013 by el-cee
	Depressed looking for prays (Preview) Well today for some reason life is hard to manage for me with AH not working unable to get to my Therepy today due to know health insurance . I am very down in the dumps today . I said my serenity pray every half an hour for me to accept I can't change the current situation , that I can't how much our lives had cha...	Ms co-dependent	10	524	Oct 31, 2013 by MeTwo2
	New forum member, long share, hope it helps others. (Preview) Hello everyone. I googled al anon forums and found this place. I know what al anon is, I have been going to meetings for about a year now. I am familiar with the 12 steps, by no means an expert; as for meetings I just go-when-I-can sort of thing. I am a male in my late 20's, soon to be not married with two small...	OneMan	14	572	Oct 31, 2013 by Ness
	Couple friends (or lack thereof) (Preview) I am feeling kind of sad lately because I keep seeing pics on Facebook of friends getting together with other couples for dinner parties and the like. We have no more couples to get together with. Either AH scared them off and they no longer call or I put off getting together with "nice" frien...	tweety23	5	450	Oct 30, 2013 by RoseODAT
	I feel bad but I don't care (Preview) Hi All I have never ever went away by myself on a holiday. But this year I'm going to go see my sister in CA for Thanksgiving. Leaving my SO and my son alone to fend for themselves. I'm feeling bad about it but why should I. I have spent so many Thanksgivings either without them or drunk or mad or whatever...	Cathyinaz	14	553	Oct 30, 2013 by Ness
	Need my meetings (Preview) I have missed a couple of meetings lately. It is not like me at all. Its the horrible wintery nights drawing in though. I get in from work and I want to stay in the house and argue with myself for a while and then Its too late anyway. I need to get my mojo back and get moving. Thanks for listening.	el-cee	6	267	Oct 30, 2013 by Lyne
	I am debating on letting my 5 year old live with her dad..... (Preview) Because she has been having a lot of behavioral problems at school and at her afterschool program. While I am in school I obviously haven't been able to give her what she needs. I feel terrible about this, but think it may be the best for her. He is not drinking and is a great dad, he only works until 4 pm and h...	Breakingfree	23	544	Oct 30, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Closer to serenity..I can feel it (Preview) I can see a little more clearly today. I was angry for a short time on Sunday. Stared at the A while he spoke gibberish and the whole time I don't think I heard one word he actually said.My mind was busy picking up some of my tools and planning. Funny part was most of the planning was already there. I had sa...	Mari1978	8	333	Oct 30, 2013 by Mari1978
	time is a wasting, mom is home needs more recovery time! (Preview) Time is running out today. I am so frustrated because my mom is home & she is still not herself yet! I don't know is she ever will be. She has been in two hospitals for over 2 mos. I am expecting & I probably shouldn't her to recover from this hopeless mind & body situation! I guess I am a pessimis...	Hoot Nanny	2	184	Oct 30, 2013 by hotrod
	I am working again (Preview) After 6 months of unemployment, I have finally landed a job! Today was my first day and I am tired but certainly not complaining. Boy do I need this to keep me busy and my mind occupied.	Rose50	8	176	Oct 30, 2013 by bud
	Horrid dream. (Preview) Oh, just lol. After mentioning on Raven's post that I'd go to bed and focus on making a gratitude list instead of thinking angry thoughts about the A, I did so. My list went something like this. 1) I'm grateful that the A got angry and locked himself in his own room because he's snoring so loudly the walls a...	Melly1248	4	283	Oct 30, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Don't Understand the Timing (Preview) Remember me? I haven't posted for a little while but I've been reading and kerping up with everyone. Need some MIP clarity. I left the AH a year ago in August. This August was looming large for him because he knew I was going to file for divorce the day I could. He was ordered in July to install an ignition lo...	wornoutmrsfixit	9	435	Oct 30, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	Personal growth (Preview) Having co-dependency means that, at some point, I completely lost myself in another person - a person that happened to be an alcoholic. That means that for that entire decade there was a whirlwind of chaos, emotional breaking, depression, and anxiety. I had no boundaries. I said I wouldn't accept...	SpiderArcana	9	582	Oct 29, 2013 by SpiderArcana
	Relaxation music (Preview) Here is a relaxation track I found that is much more soothing than listening to the A shout and bang things around when he is drunk. I hope it helps others as much as it has helped me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e59guruVL4o	Melly1248	5	314	Oct 29, 2013 by Melly1248
	Am I ready or not (Preview) Blessed Sunday everyone I'm sitting here right now looking at my SO asleep on the chair. Yesterday he slept all day and now today he will. He doesn't help around here just works, eats and sleeps. I'm so ready to move on and I want so bad to just wake him up and tell him but I know it's not a good time. I'm not...	Cathyinaz	19	657	Oct 29, 2013 by el-cee
	catchin' up(still pain) (Preview) I am still in pain but i want to catch up w/ and to all of you! Up to speed: I had 2 massages last week & discovered it is massage therapy & somewhat painful but it is helping! I haven't been back to the chiropractor since I last posted. Don't plan to either. My husband puts a special salve I guess on my...	Hoot Nanny	4	216	Oct 29, 2013 by el-cee
	Gratitude (Preview) Today when I woke up, I immediately began to feel angry. I was angry because I slept late, and I had things I wanted to do, things I Had To Do, and it's my day off, and I'm already not enjoying it. I felt stressed, since ABF was getting drunk and high all last night, and I could hear him banging around in the kit...	Raven Juniper	12	490	Oct 29, 2013 by Melly1248
	ACOA Shut down (Preview) MY ACOA double winner BF - clean for 12 years, works the program - has just had a complete shutdown.i We had a great relationship, had a fight and he shut down, asked for space, I had issues giving it to him and we argued, I pushed him to dump me. He said he doesn't know what happened but he doesn't feel the s...	Grumble	4	678	Oct 29, 2013 by Grumble
	4 days (Preview) Good Morning 4 days my son has been out of rehab. Text him to say HI and how his new place was. Called got voice mail..... No response for two days. OH WELL Let go Let God........	Cathyinaz	17	524	Oct 29, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Lost in the corn field (Preview) My current avatar reminds me that sometimes I feel like I'm lost in a corn field. I have 2 choices. I can panic or use the brain I have been given to calmly assess the situation and decide to save my energy to finding my way out. After wandering around for a lengthy period of time I become tired and frustra...	Mari1978	7	551	Oct 29, 2013 by grateful2be
	Don't know how to feel. (Preview) So my son is talking to his baby's momma and I feel nothing but tension between he and I.. This past Sunday he has made me feel horrible. He says he us stressed out. Well gosh knows what she is saying to him because he doesn't open up to me. When I call him I feel like nothing but his punching bag. As a mother I wo...	Gaby	6	255	Oct 29, 2013 by Rose50
	difficulty with self-care (Preview) This past Wednesday, my Dad told me that he may go to a step down unit on Thursday. He is exhausted from lack of sleep that comes with the territory of being in a hospital- that -combined with his stroke affected speech - truly limits how he can express himself. I told him that it was a real treat for me to h...	bud	13	515	Oct 29, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Year old relationship with three and half year member (Preview) Hi. I am new to this board. Fairly new to learning about alcoholism and all that surrounds it. While I had an uncle and an older brother who were both alcoholic, I wasn't around either before they cleaned themselves up. The uncle has passed and my brother and I are almost twenty years apart so we were neve...	safehaven	10	370	Oct 28, 2013 by safehaven
	Positive thought for the Day (Preview) I have found this to be so true	hotrod	12	418	Oct 28, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	From the outside - Looking In (Preview) So as many of you probably remember my AH filed for divorce in July. Through alanon I detached because really I had no other choice. Seems my detachment escalated his disease and the verbal abuse and anger was off the charts. I do believe my HP took the controls out of my hand because I struggled for y...	Milehi-tlc	6	309	Oct 28, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Getting frustrated!!!! :) (Preview) Does anyone know how I can find a list of meetings in my area? I have left 3 messages for the Rochester NY al Anon group and emailed a few times and nothing back. I looked around online but it keeps taking my back to their phone and email address. All I want is to find a face to face ad getting a little nervous...	Iwantthingsback	22	697	Oct 28, 2013 by hotrod
	AH coming home tonight (Preview) Hi everyone, AH has been gone in St Thomas for his sales incentive trip for the past week. I chose not to go for many reasons, including the fact that my mom couldn't fly out to watch our son. Anyway, I am nervous about his homecoming. It's been such a peaceful week, the TV has barely been on, we got lots o...	ilovedogs	13	437	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Stuggling with Nightmare's any ideas... (Preview) Hello everyone just wanted to see what others have done with nightmares. I have been pretty freaked out by some lately. Tried telling myself I am ok... but it seemed so real...(freaked me out bad enough could go back to sleep last night) and the feelings have hung with me all day. Any ideas, techniques...	stilllearning	10	289	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Slipped (Preview) Everything was going so well. Then I slipped back into my old ways. I snooped, looking for things I already knew but didn't want to find. I snapped and started an argument. After months of doing so well, there we were right back in our old roles. I was screaming, he was threatening to go to a bar. Fortunate...	ParisMemories	9	403	Oct 28, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	The Shoebox (a Sunday funny, don't we all love the Sunday funnies?) (Preview) THE SHOEBOX A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her abou...	likemyheart	9	406	Oct 28, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Dishonest to make one self better (Preview) I must say I am glad I'm reading and learning how to stay out of the way of things that can take me off my way to recovery . I have seen a post that was sent to me enormously and it's quite upsetting knowing that my A is telling false truth. He not being honest at all .and I can see how ppl have to look at it and respo...	Ms co-dependent	7	405	Oct 28, 2013 by PP
	Willingness can go a LONG way (Preview) Being agnostic about creator's involvement in my life has caused me much sorrow...like i was missing something...robbed of it and , i know, it goes waaay back to as a child when the abuser would tell me he was "doing this to me b/c god told him to teach me about sex"that wasn't the biginning...	neshema2	5	267	Oct 28, 2013 by 1911A1
	Detach with love.. (Preview) Hello every one. As I have shared my son has been home after being in a Christian base rehab going on 5 1/2 months completely clean from all and working his program. He has a job now that he truly enjoys and I have to admit he has been doing really good. He and a female roommate live in our rental just a few hous...	Gaby	2	269	Oct 28, 2013 by milkwood
	Introducing myself (Preview) This is my first post here. i am living with an AH and I am miserable. We been having marital problems for almost 2 years. Tried counseling, only made it worse. I have tried to leave twice. Both times I get the "I will change, my family is so important to me. Or even worse he threatens to kill himself an...	Dawn14	8	286	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Perfectionism (Preview) Hi y'all. Today my new therapist pointed out that I had a lot of perfectionism. (I told her I want the truth). I agree. Then I opened up Courage To Change and whaddya know! It said that we develop perfectionism to cope with blame and criticism growing up. As many of you know my situation with the famil...	WorkingThroughIt	10	517	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.