Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

HI all - so my A did go to a AA meeting this Wed past as he said (this is when I tried to go to my F2F in the same BLDG). Good thing we drove separate because there was no meeting there for me, I am beginning to think there are no real Al anon meetings in Rochester LOL Anyway, he mentioned last night about me goin...

el-cee · el-cee

You know that saying 'if it walks and talks like a duck, then its a duck?' To me, for where I am in my life right now, this is so meaningful. Its all about the truth, you know, just the basic facts. Not my own definition or interpretation of the truth just the bare facts that actually equal the truth. I'm 42 n...

el-cee · el-cee

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Today I woke up and started to pray for me today. We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.We became addicted to excitement.We confuse love and pity and tend to "love" people we can "pity" and "rescue."We have "stuffe...

neshema2 · neshema2

I am on facebook friend and I R chatting and hes ALL distraught....I ask him "whats up" he tells me my sister is not doing well w/her cancer.... (this is the sister who abused me all my life----condemned me for name change and thus dumping the sire------didn't want me to have my share of in...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Funny how I can understand, accept and deal with so many truths and yet keep finding things I am completely in denial about. (And yes of course I know there are deeper issues, these are superficial things but I'm just making some realisations about them). For example, the A has all of these "bad ha...

Kah27 · Kah27

Hello everyone. I am new to this site hoping to get some advice. My husband had a dui two years ago and he really straightened up for a while but then went back to drinking and hiding it from me since i guess the past year. I always know when hes been drinking i dont even have to smell it. So we just made a big mov...

brenb2011 · brenb2011

I've never been here before, don't know how to deal about 6 weeks ago my 29-year-old alcoholic son, committed suicide and I feel pain everywhere. My back hurts, my legs hurt, my heart is broken, my other son is in denial and we live about 300 miles apart so life is so complicated. I just don't know how to co...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I'm writing this because I need to tell somebody. I will not get involved, I will not rescue my son, I will not call for help. He made his choice and I will not project the outcome anymore. Let go Let God.......

Ness · Ness

I am finding I can do this a day at a time. It is 2 years this week (27th) since my son died of this disease. I have been agitated the last couple of weeks but my Al-anon tools when I apply them calm me. What I find much more difficult is his birthday, which is tomorrow (30th), he would have been 37. So I have to...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I thought I was doing okay. I had my own place, a part time job, I'm active n my churchI was away from my biggest stressor - my AH. I started spending more time with him, and decided to move back home. Foolish. delusional? I am having myself a little pity party. I'm not sure how to move forward if we don't mov...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Recently, many things are starting to make sense. I am starting to understand them. Things from childhood, things that didn't make sense before. Why we lived in a big house but could never afford anything. Why my parents would se...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

So I started my new job today....lots of HR paperwork, I was tired, ran a bit of errands, got home prepared the kids to go trick-or-treating. I was not going to get into costume but in the last minute I did and it felt super fun. I felt like a happy child again myself....I wore a $6 thrift store mermaid cos...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I cannot get what I need from this relationship. If I'm going to be in a relationship, I need to respect and admire that person, and feel good about giving to them. I need to feel that the person cares about me, finds me interesting, appreciates what is good in me, finds me attractive, enjoys my company an...

maja · maja

hi all...i hope someone is out there... i am trying very hard to not enable my son but it is very hard....as clear as i get about who i want to be....i lose myself and get confused. he is 20, has an active warrant out for his felony strike offense, on and off of meth...hard for me to know exactly whats up right...

joker · joker

I am experiencing fear of having to attend court and testify againt the ex-alcoholic. Back in May 2013 he abused me badly and is now in jail. Trial has been set for Dec 16-18, 2013. I have all kinds of fears going through my mind. What if he gets off and is set free? What if, what if if..I know I do not know w...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

TGIF everyone I read the two post below me and I was also reading some of the responses. I have been working my program for a little over a year and I can say yes I'm much much better but like something Jerry F said. Quote: I remember thinking "Free at last, Free at last...thank God I'm free at last&...

trudgingalong · trudgingalong

Hi All, Quick background - hubbies been sober for several years now, with an "almost" slip last year. This past June I found him sexting with a newly sober woman living in a half way house..... - a month later found a singles profile set up - he was actively talking to women...... He promised...

seeking929 · seeking929

Hello. I visited this site a few minutes ago and read some posts that really related to me. I finally feel a connection to al-anon due to this site. Let me explain. I met my now husband and didn't know he was an alcoholic. We got engaged and I still didn't know. Not until a few weeks before the wedding....

gofred123 · gofred123

Now with things settling down, plans made to separate my wife and I are exploring a "controlled Seperation" from the book "Do I Go or Do I Stay" AA has got me back on track in handling emotional issues after returning full time back in September and true emotions are creeping out...

thepolarbear · thepolarbear

Hi, I'm new here. And new to this hell called alcoholism. I met a wonderful man in summer of last year. It was the most glorious time of my life - we spent 3 months getting to know each other and it finally turned into a romance - but at its heart was a beautiful friendship. He was everything I'd ever wanted in...

oldergal · oldergal

Thomas Merton said that the way we have structured our lives, we spend our whole life climbing up the ladder of supposed success, and when we get to the top of the ladder we realize it is leaning against the wrong walland there is nothing at the top anyway. To get back to the place of inherent abundance, yo...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

Starting a new job as a head start teacher (orientation tomorrow morning and I'm still up...too excited...) I'm content that in progress, I'm becoming mentally healthy again. I have not had much money since I quit a job in March......but we were all healthy, with shelter, food, good grades (the ki...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together Step 4 has been posted to the Step Work Board.Please share your thoughts http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t5542681...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I could really use some prayers if you have a few to spare. My mother died as a result of the hurricane last year. I feel numb. Today is the day the hurricane happened. I learned at work that someone with no real knowledge and a only a temporary employee was shown favoritism because of lots of manipulati...

mm830 · mm830

This is kind of me trying to reason this one out, but why am I so unbelievably angry that A can't support me the way I need to be supported. I know I may as well go talk to a bowl of jello and it would make me feel more understood plus its colorful and happy. I mean really its more a question of why am I trying to get...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just a short reflection: My step-mom passed away 2 years ago yesterday. I forgot to mention it in my last post. I put her photo on Facebook. She is on my mind today as well. It hurts a lot because my mom who is still alive is slipping from me. Kathleen

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

I know not everyone uses music, but music is how I relate, commutate at times and well. Music is my thing for a lot. This is a song IF I decide to leave my A means something to me. And sometimes I think when I hear it helps me decide what I really want. I am at my cross road so it hits home. I wish I could play it fo...

abbyalana · abbyalana

For some reason I had this surge of personal growth last week. I feel like I "let go" and it's scary and exciting all at the same time. I am not worrying anymore about the exAH. If court stuff happens...it happens and I will handle it. I am not worrying about the house and bills anymore. I'v...

nancymom4 · nancymom4

I am feeling blue today. Recently realizing my spouse Alcoholic (sober) is so distant from me. Not knowing if we will ever be close again. Not giving up but just coming to a realization of our relationship. Now 3 of the 4 kids are mostly grown and doing their own thing. The now 14 yr. old is in her teenage di...

Jen61 · Jen61

Number 1 is that I finished step 1. I now have 2 sponsors and met with one last night. She has been going to Al-anon for a long time and really knows her stuff. She gave me a lot of food for thought. Will be interesting to see what the next sponsor will say. I have a lot of stuff running through my mind so an...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Even w/ what I call the crazies, I am still here! My mom & I have barely talked since she got home Tuesday. She is in jeopardy of losing her license & is running around all over town on foot mostly. She is 70 & is acting like she has it all together. I mean 70 year old women do have it together but i a...

mm830 · mm830

I pray that I can choose my thoughts wisely today and see the gift of the new day in front of me. Why do I have to choose pain today when there are so many other options? I will choose to make today a day full of love, peace, and self care. Plus give some love to those around me who need it. Have a wonderful day mip...

neshema2 · neshema2

I did a post that broke the alanon rules about religion, et al... Sorry...I didn't know......If I offended anyone w/my post, I apologize.....I will not mention anything but "HP" ....that should keep me from messing up I saw some of you posting to me b4 it was taken down.... Thank you for yo...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Tomorrow is the day of my daughter's Halloween party. People don't really celebrate Halloween in a major way in Australia; you get the odd groups of kids trick-or-treating and they have a few decorations in the supermarkets in recent years but it's not recognised by most so those odd groups of kids tr...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Ok, everyone, I have a confession to make and I am grateful today that I actually have awareness of what my brain is doing right now. My AH is shutting me out more than usual, not even making eye contact with me, not communicating with me unless he absolutely must speak. I believe he's using it as his own...

hotrod · hotrod

Good Morning MIP Family Today's Quote from Courage to Change is a powerful thought "That the birds of worry and care fly above your head , this you cannot change,But that they build nests in your hair this you can prevent. Do not let the birds build a nest today

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

Hello all. I hope everyone is happy today!! Last night it seemed comical, but feeling the effects of it today. Some days when Mr Dry jerk has a bad day it doesnt bother or affect me much. Last night, I brought up my book that I always wanted to write and somehow we got on the subject of me going back to school...

mongowal · mongowal

I can't seem to stop crying today. I can't even pin point it down to anything that has happened. I went to my f2f meeting today which previously has always been very calming and serene for me. My emotions are running wild and I can't control them at all. I know I'm being irrational but can't seem to st...

Sefrin · Sefrin

1st time posting here, my wife is a Alcholic, has been for years-she nearly drank herself to death a few years ago 30+ a day, and got violent at the end. Long story short 6' guy had to get a restraining order on his 5'3" wife. After that she was sober for 3 great years then decided to start drinking agai...

Jen61 · Jen61

So manipulative and can lie lie lie while looking right in your eyes. When will I ever learn.

Jozie · Jozie

Hello All, Its Been a Long Time & I Have So Missed Each of you, and your ESH, and Love & Kindness... As Winter Nears My Time I Hope to Free up for More time with all of you! Welp...Today Marks (3) Years Sober for Me... And I have to Say.. I Couldn't be Happier! I have Grown to New Hieghts, I have Made Pla...

kickstart77 · kickstart77

A few days back, my boyfriend told me he is searching for an emptiness inside, he wants adventure, needs to fill a whole so big inside, he wants to take his car to wherever the wind takes him. And, in our up and down unpredictable year and a half relationship, it all made sense. He wanted me, but sometimes....

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Well today for some reason life is hard to manage for me with AH not working unable to get to my Therepy today due to know health insurance . I am very down in the dumps today . I said my serenity pray every half an hour for me to accept I can't change the current situation , that I can't how much our lives had cha...

OneMan · OneMan

Hello everyone. I googled al anon forums and found this place. I know what al anon is, I have been going to meetings for about a year now. I am familiar with the 12 steps, by no means an expert; as for meetings I just go-when-I-can sort of thing. I am a male in my late 20's, soon to be not married with two small...

tweety23 · tweety23

I am feeling kind of sad lately because I keep seeing pics on Facebook of friends getting together with other couples for dinner parties and the like. We have no more couples to get together with. Either AH scared them off and they no longer call or I put off getting together with "nice" frien...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi All I have never ever went away by myself on a holiday. But this year I'm going to go see my sister in CA for Thanksgiving. Leaving my SO and my son alone to fend for themselves. I'm feeling bad about it but why should I. I have spent so many Thanksgivings either without them or drunk or mad or whatever...

el-cee · el-cee

I have missed a couple of meetings lately. It is not like me at all. Its the horrible wintery nights drawing in though. I get in from work and I want to stay in the house and argue with myself for a while and then Its too late anyway. I need to get my mojo back and get moving. Thanks for listening.

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Because she has been having a lot of behavioral problems at school and at her afterschool program. While I am in school I obviously haven't been able to give her what she needs. I feel terrible about this, but think it may be the best for her. He is not drinking and is a great dad, he only works until 4 pm and h...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

I can see a little more clearly today. I was angry for a short time on Sunday. Stared at the A while he spoke gibberish and the whole time I don't think I heard one word he actually said.My mind was busy picking up some of my tools and planning. Funny part was most of the planning was already there. I had sa...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Time is running out today. I am so frustrated because my mom is home & she is still not herself yet! I don't know is she ever will be. She has been in two hospitals for over 2 mos. I am expecting & I probably shouldn't her to recover from this hopeless mind & body situation! I guess I am a pessimis...

Rose50 · Rose50

After 6 months of unemployment, I have finally landed a job! Today was my first day and I am tired but certainly not complaining. Boy do I need this to keep me busy and my mind occupied.

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Oh, just lol. After mentioning on Raven's post that I'd go to bed and focus on making a gratitude list instead of thinking angry thoughts about the A, I did so. My list went something like this. 1) I'm grateful that the A got angry and locked himself in his own room because he's snoring so loudly the walls a...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

Remember me? I haven't posted for a little while but I've been reading and kerping up with everyone. Need some MIP clarity. I left the AH a year ago in August. This August was looming large for him because he knew I was going to file for divorce the day I could. He was ordered in July to install an ignition lo...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Having co-dependency means that, at some point, I completely lost myself in another person - a person that happened to be an alcoholic. That means that for that entire decade there was a whirlwind of chaos, emotional breaking, depression, and anxiety. I had no boundaries. I said I wouldn't accept...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Here is a relaxation track I found that is much more soothing than listening to the A shout and bang things around when he is drunk. I hope it helps others as much as it has helped me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e59guruVL4o

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Blessed Sunday everyone I'm sitting here right now looking at my SO asleep on the chair. Yesterday he slept all day and now today he will. He doesn't help around here just works, eats and sleeps. I'm so ready to move on and I want so bad to just wake him up and tell him but I know it's not a good time. I'm not...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am still in pain but i want to catch up w/ and to all of you! Up to speed: I had 2 massages last week & discovered it is massage therapy & somewhat painful but it is helping! I haven't been back to the chiropractor since I last posted. Don't plan to either. My husband puts a special salve I guess on my...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Today when I woke up, I immediately began to feel angry. I was angry because I slept late, and I had things I wanted to do, things I Had To Do, and it's my day off, and I'm already not enjoying it. I felt stressed, since ABF was getting drunk and high all last night, and I could hear him banging around in the kit...

Grumble · Grumble

MY ACOA double winner BF - clean for 12 years, works the program - has just had a complete shutdown.i We had a great relationship, had a fight and he shut down, asked for space, I had issues giving it to him and we argued, I pushed him to dump me. He said he doesn't know what happened but he doesn't feel the s...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	AA meetings open meetings (Preview) HI all - so my A did go to a AA meeting this Wed past as he said (this is when I tried to go to my F2F in the same BLDG). Good thing we drove separate because there was no meeting there for me, I am beginning to think there are no real Al anon meetings in Rochester LOL Anyway, he mentioned last night about me goin...	Iwantthingsback	9	821	Nov 3, 2013 by Tracy
	The duck! (Preview) You know that saying 'if it walks and talks like a duck, then its a duck?' To me, for where I am in my life right now, this is so meaningful. Its all about the truth, you know, just the basic facts. Not my own definition or interpretation of the truth just the bare facts that actually equal the truth. I'm 42 n...	el-cee	13	578	Nov 3, 2013 by milkwood
	The Change Curve (Preview)	el-cee	4	440	Nov 3, 2013 by milkwood
	Understanding step 4 (Preview) Today I woke up and started to pray for me today. We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.We became addicted to excitement.We confuse love and pity and tend to "love" people we can "pity" and "rescue."We have "stuffe...	Ms co-dependent	6	1052	Nov 3, 2013 by bijela
	oh yea, right...I am in recovery b/c I am such a "cold heart" (Preview) I am on facebook friend and I R chatting and hes ALL distraught....I ask him "whats up" he tells me my sister is not doing well w/her cancer.... (this is the sister who abused me all my life----condemned me for name change and thus dumping the sire------didn't want me to have my share of in...	neshema2	12	426	Nov 3, 2013 by bijela
	Oh, they aren't just "stages". (Preview) Funny how I can understand, accept and deal with so many truths and yet keep finding things I am completely in denial about. (And yes of course I know there are deeper issues, these are superficial things but I'm just making some realisations about them). For example, the A has all of these "bad ha...	Melly1248	14	579	Nov 3, 2013 by bijela
	Facing the inevitability (Preview) Hello everyone. I am new to this site hoping to get some advice. My husband had a dui two years ago and he really straightened up for a while but then went back to drinking and hiding it from me since i guess the past year. I always know when hes been drinking i dont even have to smell it. So we just made a big mov...	Kah27	12	516	Nov 3, 2013 by bijela
	Son's Suicide (Preview) I've never been here before, don't know how to deal about 6 weeks ago my 29-year-old alcoholic son, committed suicide and I feel pain everywhere. My back hurts, my legs hurt, my heart is broken, my other son is in denial and we live about 300 miles apart so life is so complicated. I just don't know how to co...	brenb2011	26	732	Nov 3, 2013 by bijela
	Why do I always Feel I have to do Something (Preview) I'm writing this because I need to tell somebody. I will not get involved, I will not rescue my son, I will not call for help. He made his choice and I will not project the outcome anymore. Let go Let God.......	Cathyinaz	14	735	Nov 3, 2013 by bijela
	Living with a broken heart (Preview) I am finding I can do this a day at a time. It is 2 years this week (27th) since my son died of this disease. I have been agitated the last couple of weeks but my Al-anon tools when I apply them calm me. What I find much more difficult is his birthday, which is tomorrow (30th), he would have been 37. So I have to...	Ness	22	677	Nov 3, 2013 by DreamsOver
	now what? (Preview) I thought I was doing okay. I had my own place, a part time job, I'm active n my churchI was away from my biggest stressor - my AH. I started spending more time with him, and decided to move back home. Foolish. delusional? I am having myself a little pity party. I'm not sure how to move forward if we don't mov...	sadsusie	4	457	Nov 3, 2013 by Mattie
	Things are starting to make sense. (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Recently, many things are starting to make sense. I am starting to understand them. Things from childhood, things that didn't make sense before. Why we lived in a big house but could never afford anything. Why my parents would se...	slogan_jim	3	336	Nov 2, 2013 by DavidG
	Halloween evening (Preview) So I started my new job today....lots of HR paperwork, I was tired, ran a bit of errands, got home prepared the kids to go trick-or-treating. I was not going to get into costume but in the last minute I did and it felt super fun. I felt like a happy child again myself....I wore a $6 thrift store mermaid cos...	RoseODAT	7	395	Nov 2, 2013 by grateful2be
	I want better. (Preview) I cannot get what I need from this relationship. If I'm going to be in a relationship, I need to respect and admire that person, and feel good about giving to them. I need to feel that the person cares about me, finds me interesting, appreciates what is good in me, finds me attractive, enjoys my company an...	Melly1248	15	599	Nov 2, 2013 by grateful2be
	DIRECTION NEEDED NOW IN REGARDS TO MY SON THE ADDICT (Preview) hi all...i hope someone is out there... i am trying very hard to not enable my son but it is very hard....as clear as i get about who i want to be....i lose myself and get confused. he is 20, has an active warrant out for his felony strike offense, on and off of meth...hard for me to know exactly whats up right...	maja	9	522	Nov 2, 2013 by grammie
	Fear of court (Preview) I am experiencing fear of having to attend court and testify againt the ex-alcoholic. Back in May 2013 he abused me badly and is now in jail. Trial has been set for Dec 16-18, 2013. I have all kinds of fears going through my mind. What if he gets off and is set free? What if, what if if..I know I do not know w...	joker	5	509	Nov 2, 2013 by bud
	Reading Posts (Preview) TGIF everyone I read the two post below me and I was also reading some of the responses. I have been working my program for a little over a year and I can say yes I'm much much better but like something Jerry F said. Quote: I remember thinking "Free at last, Free at last...thank God I'm free at last&...	Cathyinaz	5	457	Nov 2, 2013 by RoseODAT
	Women texting my husband (Preview) Hi All, Quick background - hubbies been sober for several years now, with an "almost" slip last year. This past June I found him sexting with a newly sober woman living in a half way house..... - a month later found a singles profile set up - he was actively talking to women...... He promised...	trudgingalong	18	1301	Nov 2, 2013 by likemyheart
	Online Sponsorship (Preview) Hello. I visited this site a few minutes ago and read some posts that really related to me. I finally feel a connection to al-anon due to this site. Let me explain. I met my now husband and didn't know he was an alcoholic. We got engaged and I still didn't know. Not until a few weeks before the wedding....	seeking929	17	544	Nov 2, 2013 by Tasha
	has any experienced "control Seperation" (Preview) Now with things settling down, plans made to separate my wife and I are exploring a "controlled Seperation" from the book "Do I Go or Do I Stay" AA has got me back on track in handling emotional issues after returning full time back in September and true emotions are creeping out...	gofred123	6	421	Nov 2, 2013 by el-cee
	Trying to figure it all out (Preview) Hi, I'm new here. And new to this hell called alcoholism. I met a wonderful man in summer of last year. It was the most glorious time of my life - we spent 3 months getting to know each other and it finally turned into a romance - but at its heart was a beautiful friendship. He was everything I'd ever wanted in...	thepolarbear	21	407	Nov 2, 2013 by Jerry F
	The Deepest You (Preview) Thomas Merton said that the way we have structured our lives, we spend our whole life climbing up the ladder of supposed success, and when we get to the top of the ladder we realize it is leaning against the wrong walland there is nothing at the top anyway. To get back to the place of inherent abundance, yo...	oldergal	9	555	Nov 1, 2013 by grateful2be
	Just a simple share (Preview) Starting a new job as a head start teacher (orientation tomorrow morning and I'm still up...too excited...) I'm content that in progress, I'm becoming mentally healthy again. I have not had much money since I quit a job in March......but we were all healthy, with shelter, food, good grades (the ki...	RoseODAT	12	379	Nov 2, 2013 by grateful2be
	ALANON STEP 4 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together Step 4 has been posted to the Step Work Board.Please share your thoughts http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t5542681...	hotrod	0	263	Nov 1, 2013 by hotrod
	Rough week ahead (Preview) I could really use some prayers if you have a few to spare. My mother died as a result of the hurricane last year. I feel numb. Today is the day the hurricane happened. I learned at work that someone with no real knowledge and a only a temporary employee was shown favoritism because of lots of manipulati...	tiredtonite	9	638	Nov 1, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Don't feel supported (Preview) This is kind of me trying to reason this one out, but why am I so unbelievably angry that A can't support me the way I need to be supported. I know I may as well go talk to a bowl of jello and it would make me feel more understood plus its colorful and happy. I mean really its more a question of why am I trying to get...	mm830	12	564	Nov 1, 2013 by Tasha
	sometimes it doesn't seem any easier. (Preview) Just a short reflection: My step-mom passed away 2 years ago yesterday. I forgot to mention it in my last post. I put her photo on Facebook. She is on my mind today as well. It hurts a lot because my mom who is still alive is slipping from me. Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	7	366	Nov 1, 2013 by Ness
	Just sharing........... (Preview) I know not everyone uses music, but music is how I relate, commutate at times and well. Music is my thing for a lot. This is a song IF I decide to leave my A means something to me. And sometimes I think when I hear it helps me decide what I really want. I am at my cross road so it hits home. I wish I could play it fo...	Iwantthingsback	5	457	Nov 1, 2013 by milkwood
	I had a breakthrough! (Preview) For some reason I had this surge of personal growth last week. I feel like I "let go" and it's scary and exciting all at the same time. I am not worrying anymore about the exAH. If court stuff happens...it happens and I will handle it. I am not worrying about the house and bills anymore. I'v...	abbyalana	8	287	Nov 1, 2013 by Jerry F
	feeling blue (Preview) I am feeling blue today. Recently realizing my spouse Alcoholic (sober) is so distant from me. Not knowing if we will ever be close again. Not giving up but just coming to a realization of our relationship. Now 3 of the 4 kids are mostly grown and doing their own thing. The now 14 yr. old is in her teenage di...	nancymom4	10	395	Nov 1, 2013 by nancymom4
	Just a few things (Preview) Number 1 is that I finished step 1. I now have 2 sponsors and met with one last night. She has been going to Al-anon for a long time and really knows her stuff. She gave me a lot of food for thought. Will be interesting to see what the next sponsor will say. I have a lot of stuff running through my mind so an...	Jen61	7	469	Nov 1, 2013 by Jerry F
	I am still here... (Preview) Even w/ what I call the crazies, I am still here! My mom & I have barely talked since she got home Tuesday. She is in jeopardy of losing her license & is running around all over town on foot mostly. She is 70 & is acting like she has it all together. I mean 70 year old women do have it together but i a...	Hoot Nanny	0	191	Oct 31, 2013 by Hoot Nanny
	Choosing to view today as a gift (Preview) I pray that I can choose my thoughts wisely today and see the gift of the new day in front of me. Why do I have to choose pain today when there are so many other options? I will choose to make today a day full of love, peace, and self care. Plus give some love to those around me who need it. Have a wonderful day mip...	mm830	6	282	Nov 1, 2013 by RoseODAT
	Apology to the board (Preview) I did a post that broke the alanon rules about religion, et al... Sorry...I didn't know......If I offended anyone w/my post, I apologize.....I will not mention anything but "HP" ....that should keep me from messing up I saw some of you posting to me b4 it was taken down.... Thank you for yo...	neshema2	14	623	Nov 1, 2013 by Rose50
	Kiddo's Halloween Party. (Preview) Tomorrow is the day of my daughter's Halloween party. People don't really celebrate Halloween in a major way in Australia; you get the odd groups of kids trick-or-treating and they have a few decorations in the supermarkets in recent years but it's not recognised by most so those odd groups of kids tr...	Melly1248	10	454	Nov 1, 2013 by el-cee
	OMG: My thinking is heading back toward denial?? HELP! (Preview) Ok, everyone, I have a confession to make and I am grateful today that I actually have awareness of what my brain is doing right now. My AH is shutting me out more than usual, not even making eye contact with me, not communicating with me unless he absolutely must speak. I believe he's using it as his own...	ilovedogs	9	435	Nov 1, 2013 by grateful2be
	Happy Halloween Thought for the day (Preview) Good Morning MIP Family Today's Quote from Courage to Change is a powerful thought "That the birds of worry and care fly above your head , this you cannot change,But that they build nests in your hair this you can prevent. Do not let the birds build a nest today	hotrod	6	494	Nov 1, 2013 by bud
	disease not the person (Preview) Hello all. I hope everyone is happy today!! Last night it seemed comical, but feeling the effects of it today. Some days when Mr Dry jerk has a bad day it doesnt bother or affect me much. Last night, I brought up my book that I always wanted to write and somehow we got on the subject of me going back to school...	Iwantthingsback	4	422	Oct 31, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	What is wrong with me (Preview) I can't seem to stop crying today. I can't even pin point it down to anything that has happened. I went to my f2f meeting today which previously has always been very calming and serene for me. My emotions are running wild and I can't control them at all. I know I'm being irrational but can't seem to st...	mongowal	12	902	Oct 31, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Broken (Preview) 1st time posting here, my wife is a Alcholic, has been for years-she nearly drank herself to death a few years ago 30+ a day, and got violent at the end. Long story short 6' guy had to get a restraining order on his 5'3" wife. After that she was sober for 3 great years then decided to start drinking agai...	Sefrin	8	493	Oct 31, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	If you give them an inch they take a mile... (Preview) So manipulative and can lie lie lie while looking right in your eyes. When will I ever learn.	Jen61	11	578	Oct 31, 2013 by Ness
	Im Doing 3-5... Thanks to All of You .... (Preview) Hello All, Its Been a Long Time & I Have So Missed Each of you, and your ESH, and Love & Kindness... As Winter Nears My Time I Hope to Free up for More time with all of you! Welp...Today Marks (3) Years Sober for Me... And I have to Say.. I Couldn't be Happier! I have Grown to New Hieghts, I have Made Pla...	Jozie	8	342	Oct 31, 2013 by Ness
	I am the Temporary (Preview) A few days back, my boyfriend told me he is searching for an emptiness inside, he wants adventure, needs to fill a whole so big inside, he wants to take his car to wherever the wind takes him. And, in our up and down unpredictable year and a half relationship, it all made sense. He wanted me, but sometimes....	kickstart77	6	420	Oct 31, 2013 by el-cee
	Depressed looking for prays (Preview) Well today for some reason life is hard to manage for me with AH not working unable to get to my Therepy today due to know health insurance . I am very down in the dumps today . I said my serenity pray every half an hour for me to accept I can't change the current situation , that I can't how much our lives had cha...	Ms co-dependent	10	541	Oct 31, 2013 by MeTwo2
	New forum member, long share, hope it helps others. (Preview) Hello everyone. I googled al anon forums and found this place. I know what al anon is, I have been going to meetings for about a year now. I am familiar with the 12 steps, by no means an expert; as for meetings I just go-when-I-can sort of thing. I am a male in my late 20's, soon to be not married with two small...	OneMan	14	589	Oct 31, 2013 by Ness
	Couple friends (or lack thereof) (Preview) I am feeling kind of sad lately because I keep seeing pics on Facebook of friends getting together with other couples for dinner parties and the like. We have no more couples to get together with. Either AH scared them off and they no longer call or I put off getting together with "nice" frien...	tweety23	5	467	Oct 30, 2013 by RoseODAT
	I feel bad but I don't care (Preview) Hi All I have never ever went away by myself on a holiday. But this year I'm going to go see my sister in CA for Thanksgiving. Leaving my SO and my son alone to fend for themselves. I'm feeling bad about it but why should I. I have spent so many Thanksgivings either without them or drunk or mad or whatever...	Cathyinaz	14	570	Oct 30, 2013 by Ness
	Need my meetings (Preview) I have missed a couple of meetings lately. It is not like me at all. Its the horrible wintery nights drawing in though. I get in from work and I want to stay in the house and argue with myself for a while and then Its too late anyway. I need to get my mojo back and get moving. Thanks for listening.	el-cee	6	287	Oct 30, 2013 by Lyne
	I am debating on letting my 5 year old live with her dad..... (Preview) Because she has been having a lot of behavioral problems at school and at her afterschool program. While I am in school I obviously haven't been able to give her what she needs. I feel terrible about this, but think it may be the best for her. He is not drinking and is a great dad, he only works until 4 pm and h...	Breakingfree	23	562	Oct 30, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Closer to serenity..I can feel it (Preview) I can see a little more clearly today. I was angry for a short time on Sunday. Stared at the A while he spoke gibberish and the whole time I don't think I heard one word he actually said.My mind was busy picking up some of my tools and planning. Funny part was most of the planning was already there. I had sa...	Mari1978	8	350	Oct 30, 2013 by Mari1978
	time is a wasting, mom is home needs more recovery time! (Preview) Time is running out today. I am so frustrated because my mom is home & she is still not herself yet! I don't know is she ever will be. She has been in two hospitals for over 2 mos. I am expecting & I probably shouldn't her to recover from this hopeless mind & body situation! I guess I am a pessimis...	Hoot Nanny	2	203	Oct 30, 2013 by hotrod
	I am working again (Preview) After 6 months of unemployment, I have finally landed a job! Today was my first day and I am tired but certainly not complaining. Boy do I need this to keep me busy and my mind occupied.	Rose50	8	193	Oct 30, 2013 by bud
	Horrid dream. (Preview) Oh, just lol. After mentioning on Raven's post that I'd go to bed and focus on making a gratitude list instead of thinking angry thoughts about the A, I did so. My list went something like this. 1) I'm grateful that the A got angry and locked himself in his own room because he's snoring so loudly the walls a...	Melly1248	4	300	Oct 30, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Don't Understand the Timing (Preview) Remember me? I haven't posted for a little while but I've been reading and kerping up with everyone. Need some MIP clarity. I left the AH a year ago in August. This August was looming large for him because he knew I was going to file for divorce the day I could. He was ordered in July to install an ignition lo...	wornoutmrsfixit	9	454	Oct 30, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	Personal growth (Preview) Having co-dependency means that, at some point, I completely lost myself in another person - a person that happened to be an alcoholic. That means that for that entire decade there was a whirlwind of chaos, emotional breaking, depression, and anxiety. I had no boundaries. I said I wouldn't accept...	SpiderArcana	9	602	Oct 29, 2013 by SpiderArcana
	Relaxation music (Preview) Here is a relaxation track I found that is much more soothing than listening to the A shout and bang things around when he is drunk. I hope it helps others as much as it has helped me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e59guruVL4o	Melly1248	5	334	Oct 29, 2013 by Melly1248
	Am I ready or not (Preview) Blessed Sunday everyone I'm sitting here right now looking at my SO asleep on the chair. Yesterday he slept all day and now today he will. He doesn't help around here just works, eats and sleeps. I'm so ready to move on and I want so bad to just wake him up and tell him but I know it's not a good time. I'm not...	Cathyinaz	19	680	Oct 29, 2013 by el-cee
	catchin' up(still pain) (Preview) I am still in pain but i want to catch up w/ and to all of you! Up to speed: I had 2 massages last week & discovered it is massage therapy & somewhat painful but it is helping! I haven't been back to the chiropractor since I last posted. Don't plan to either. My husband puts a special salve I guess on my...	Hoot Nanny	4	240	Oct 29, 2013 by el-cee
	Gratitude (Preview) Today when I woke up, I immediately began to feel angry. I was angry because I slept late, and I had things I wanted to do, things I Had To Do, and it's my day off, and I'm already not enjoying it. I felt stressed, since ABF was getting drunk and high all last night, and I could hear him banging around in the kit...	Raven Juniper	12	507	Oct 29, 2013 by Melly1248
	ACOA Shut down (Preview) MY ACOA double winner BF - clean for 12 years, works the program - has just had a complete shutdown.i We had a great relationship, had a fight and he shut down, asked for space, I had issues giving it to him and we argued, I pushed him to dump me. He said he doesn't know what happened but he doesn't feel the s...	Grumble	4	698	Oct 29, 2013 by Grumble
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