Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Hello everyone, I would like to ask for ESH from those of you who have parted ways with your (non-violent) A partner. What became the breaking point, how did it come about, etc...? I guess I'm looking for some inspiration to help me move on to the next step. Thank you :)

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

So I cancelled our couple therapy appointment for tomorrow (I am still going but he is not invited). Reason being, I told him 2 weeks ago if he didnt do some of the things we were asked to do and participate, I was going alone next time. He doesnt really do anything with the homework and we are not getting wh...

canadianguy · canadianguy

There have been a ton of posts on here recently, with members struggling with trying to please / rationalize / understand the workings of their active A's.... I offer a gentle reminder of the infamous egg story.... The wonderful wife of an active A decides she wants to please her husband, so she gets up...

farmerswife · farmerswife

Hi, I'm new here and I'm here because I am lost. I've never been an addict but my life has always involved one. My father was an alcoholic, my first 2 husbands were abusive alcoholics and my current husband is in rehab. We been together 10 years he has battled this demon his entire life. I knew he was recove...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Hello I am bitter tonight . My 1 year husband told me a lot tonight . A lot of crap . How Alaon teaching is wrong !! How I do not show any improvement . How I became a b*** because of Alaon teaching . I did what I could do with the tools of Alaon to focus on me and not the alcoholic and not to let him get in my way of rec...

Gaby · Gaby

So today my son that is out of recovery his Sponser calls me and tells me that he thinks my son will fall back to what he was doing.. As most of you know my son is a addict and came out of recovery early October. He said the reason he feels this way is because my son is not doing as he tells him to do and he feels that...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, Not sure how many of you follow the news but the mayor of Toronto Rob Ford, has been caught several times with drugs, intoxicated in public, and acting lewdly. Living in the area, It's amazing to see the constant empty apologies, the 'let's forget it and just move on' rhetoric, and the mani...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

MIP-ers, Thank you all so much for responding to my last post (brief recap: feeling lonely because my partner is super busy). It truly was helpful to hear your feedback and I am implementing the feedback and suggestions. It helps tremendously not to feel alone. Here are some things I am doing to chan...

joker · joker

Since my last post, I have moved to my own place and the alcoholic ex-bf is still in jail. I have been served and I am to attend court for his abuse toward me. In addition to moving to my own place, I am filled with additional stress, of dealing with my older sister, an active alcoholic, love affair. A ye...

Somerset25 · Somerset25

My wife is my qualifier and I'm pretty new to Al Anon. I've been having a very hard time dealing with our "situation" the last couple of days. My wife is seven months sober and in AA, regularly attending meetings with her sponsor. I found out a couple of weeks ago that she has been having an emot...

PIK · PIK

As a fairly new member of Alanon, I am struggling with the concept of limiting our expectations. My qualifier is 27 years sober, so I do not have to deal with the pain of having an active drinker as a partner. However, our relationship and both of our behaviors are very typical of the Alcoholic (him) and...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

My days off have been seemingly uneventful and my judgemental side would say "wasted." Laundry didn't get done. The floors are still dirty. The vacuum is still broke; ABF didn't try to fix it as he'd promised, and I didn't stress over it. It's getting cold and the thermostat for the heater i...

Venera · Venera

I lost all my temper today, I yelled at my AH like a crazy person, and he kept calmly telling me that I am crazy, and other mean things like i am cheap, vulgar, etc.. I was going really wild, i feel bad for doing it to myself, but i feel a relief. But i felt trapped again, i cant sleep in my own bed again, and i am t...

angellerose · angellerose

Thank you to those who responded to my question. I really appreciate everything that you have said, and am taking it and applying it to my life. It really means a whole lot to me. I was able to resonate with a lot of the things that were shared. I have attended one alanon meeting, I was feeling quite despera...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

I am smart . I feel healthy . I'm trying my best . We can't turn the heat up because of the spouse not working. Comes upstairs and want to fight about I'm lazy I best get a Job I'm again non supported wife I am now a self Alaon loser . Sent me mutiple texts and when did not answer them he threaten to break door down...

ryanhearted · ryanhearted

Well, yes, again. My AH cant seem to do anything with others from his work. I realize that he tried and succeeded in not drinking at the beginning of the month when he went to science camp with his coworkers, but this one night seminar this weekend was just too much I guess. My concern is that he drove with o...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I really wish I had more time to reflect & read more posts. I seem to run out of time before I am truly done. I am still a work in progress. You are all important to me & I value each soul who gets on here. I guess I am a little bit anxious. Maybe it is because I run out of time. I am so sorry that I can't alway...

neshema2 · neshema2

WEll, I have been trying to make amends with/ re-connect wmy Higher Power....or more truthfully connect w/him, really, intimately, for the FIRST time...since then, the step 3, thing, I have been under MAJOR attack.....satan is creating havoc in my life...When i told HP I do NOT WANT TO BE AGNOSTIC A...

Venera · Venera

Please somebody help me! What can I do now? My husband left on sunday to a hotel where he was going to drink after drinking on Saturday. He ususally takes 5 days drinking and then starts functioning again. Saturday night he was watching tv till 4 am, i couldnt sleep, I have a 3 week old baby which i have to fe...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

MIPers, I could really use some encouragement to LIVE (and let live!). My partner is extraordinarily busy with full-time work and part-time school and I am finding myself at loose ends. And, by loose ends, I mean bored, frustrated (with her schedule), and resentful. It has been very hard for me not t...

neshema2 · neshema2

I read that post....I could see my pain all over the place..... I edited it so as to be more "generic" re: the HP thingy....i was NOT doing a proseletize job on anyone on the original....I was just crying out.....those of you who replied to my apology to the board post, I sooo appreciate you, a...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi all You know a little about my lazy SO and me doing everything in regards to the home. Well one of the things I stopped doing about 4 months ago was cleaning the office. I don't use it much so I decided it was his mess and he can clean it..or not...he uses it all the time. Well this weekend I guess he hit HI...

mongowal · mongowal

Breakthrough with my recovery today. My AH (who moved out a month ago) called yesterday to ask me where the truck registration tags were as his had expired in July. I kindly reminded him that I had given him the tags and new registration back in August and I'm not sure where it is, but I will look around...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

Hello everyone. Just sharing. I took a break this weekend, didnt go anywhere other than outside my head. A break from Al Anon, reading, important talks, things like that. Tom and I had a wonderful - wonderful weekend. I let the worries and stress go and somehow told myself everything is normal, it is t...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

Well, I'm living with my parents and niece (and her two month old) for the moment. Got a new job. My brothers children came over today and played with my children. I was very calm and peachy keen until I took a break in a room. I then heard my niece say " ...are a pain, especially Abram". She w...

neshema2 · neshema2

Step 3 progress update Its kinda nice to sit, breathe, meditate , first give thanks to HP for what IS correct in my life and to petition not just for me but for all who are struggling w/something...be it health, finances, family stuff, whatever, pain is pain and the steady "drip" i was getti...

nancymom4 · nancymom4

My husband and I are behind on our mortgage by 2 payments for quite a while now. Over a year. The bank wants us to modify our loan and stretch it out for 40 years. We have less than 10 years to pay it off. We will be in our 90's!!!! We can pay every month but it is difficult to pay the back payments. We have done fin...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My son has 3 good friends over for his birthday right now. We're going to a concert in an hour or so and they're having pizza and cake in a bit. My AH is 'resting' in the bedroom, he's been in there for the past 3 hours. He has not come out to greet our son's friends. The boys probably don't even realize he'...

angellerose · angellerose

Hello, all! Background story (if you'd care to read):I've never been on here before, but I needed some advice so I figured I'm come on here. Growing up, I knew that my dad was an alcoholic, but things weren't so bad because he would stay sober for many years, and then maybe every 3 or 4 years or so (maybe mor...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Well it's Sunday and it's ALAON night yeah!!!! It's my face to face meeting . My children say mom why are you so happy your going to a meeting ? Dad hates his meetings! This is true it's become a chore for him he not happy when he leaves and not happy when he returns . My meetings are my only night I get out...

nancymom4 · nancymom4

Just wanted to say thanks to all who have responded to the few posts I have done. I am somewhat new here. But since I am not always able to get to my meetings with running my teen around, this place of Al-anon friends is such a comfort to me. Thanks for listening and responding. Sometimes we don't need great...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Well I decided to change my name and start over. Today I am grateful I'm alive and healthy and my AH is SOBER. I'm grateful for my children and grateful for taking action on my life and turn my life over to my HP who is my god. The day I had my true vision on how my HP wanted me to learn the right way live , he has...

bijela · bijela

I really shouldn't be having to deal with this. I almost can't believe I am dealing with this. I shouldn't let this bother me, but I am SO FURIOUS right now. I gave my recent ex the benefit of the doubt and didn't unfriend him on Facebook. I wanted to try to lessen the pain for him from us breaking up. Well now...

Ness · Ness

'Dont let your kids kill you' This is the emotive title of a book written by a parent, two of whose children were A's. This is not CAL literature, but (in my humble eyes) should be! It's by Charles Rubin It helped me a lot. Ness

Tyrone · Tyrone

Hi All, I'm new here and would like some opinions on what happened to my relationship with my ex GF. I am a compulsive overeater and go back and forth between going to OA meetings. I suggested my GF try Al Anon to deal with some problems her daughter was having and she liked the meetings and began to attend r...

bijela · bijela

I am trying SO HARD to trust my gut and not blame myself for other's behavior. I get this overwhelming sense of guilt that I did something wrong when logicially, I didn't. I guess it is the whole ACOA thing where you are blamed for everything that happens in the house that the addict had brought onto the...

rehprof · rehprof

for three years, I have struggled...bankruptcy...working extra to take care of my kids, with no support from exA...broken household things that I had to find a way to repair (like when my well pump went, and my dad and I had to replace it in below freezing weather). I try very hard to focus on the positiv...

Tigger · Tigger

October 6, 2013 Business meeting members present: Tigger, Winnie, mspw, KathieG, bubblegum, davidg, xenon robinks, Shimo, grace, whackamole, Diane > Tigger opened the meeting with the Serenity prayer. Agenda to include: 1.) Ops and others doing chair actions without consultation. 2....

mm830 · mm830

So A and I are in our typical fight and I haven't heard from him all day. Yesterday was good, I had a good day despite this crap. Today has been harder. I find myself lost as far as how to live anymore, to connect with people socially. It's easier to be home that way I am safe, or feel safe because its just easie...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

So I bottom lined it for A. Told him he needs to leave. He decides to go into detox centre for a week. (Support his decision in that...but....) I took the little one to see him tonight. He asked. I thought okay I can do this. All of his things are still here. I asked what his plans were upon leaving the centre....

Tigger · Tigger

Dear chat group members, The monthly chat room meeting business group meets this evening straight after the regular 7pm est Al-Anon meeting. All Al-Anon meeting members are welcome to attend and discuss any concerns or ideas relating to the meetings. Hope to see you there. Tigger (business grou...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

HI all - so my A did go to a AA meeting this Wed past as he said (this is when I tried to go to my F2F in the same BLDG). Good thing we drove separate because there was no meeting there for me, I am beginning to think there are no real Al anon meetings in Rochester LOL Anyway, he mentioned last night about me goin...

el-cee · el-cee

You know that saying 'if it walks and talks like a duck, then its a duck?' To me, for where I am in my life right now, this is so meaningful. Its all about the truth, you know, just the basic facts. Not my own definition or interpretation of the truth just the bare facts that actually equal the truth. I'm 42 n...

el-cee · el-cee

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Today I woke up and started to pray for me today. We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.We became addicted to excitement.We confuse love and pity and tend to "love" people we can "pity" and "rescue."We have "stuffe...

neshema2 · neshema2

I am on facebook friend and I R chatting and hes ALL distraught....I ask him "whats up" he tells me my sister is not doing well w/her cancer.... (this is the sister who abused me all my life----condemned me for name change and thus dumping the sire------didn't want me to have my share of in...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Funny how I can understand, accept and deal with so many truths and yet keep finding things I am completely in denial about. (And yes of course I know there are deeper issues, these are superficial things but I'm just making some realisations about them). For example, the A has all of these "bad ha...

Kah27 · Kah27

Hello everyone. I am new to this site hoping to get some advice. My husband had a dui two years ago and he really straightened up for a while but then went back to drinking and hiding it from me since i guess the past year. I always know when hes been drinking i dont even have to smell it. So we just made a big mov...

brenb2011 · brenb2011

I've never been here before, don't know how to deal about 6 weeks ago my 29-year-old alcoholic son, committed suicide and I feel pain everywhere. My back hurts, my legs hurt, my heart is broken, my other son is in denial and we live about 300 miles apart so life is so complicated. I just don't know how to co...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I'm writing this because I need to tell somebody. I will not get involved, I will not rescue my son, I will not call for help. He made his choice and I will not project the outcome anymore. Let go Let God.......

Ness · Ness

I am finding I can do this a day at a time. It is 2 years this week (27th) since my son died of this disease. I have been agitated the last couple of weeks but my Al-anon tools when I apply them calm me. What I find much more difficult is his birthday, which is tomorrow (30th), he would have been 37. So I have to...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I thought I was doing okay. I had my own place, a part time job, I'm active n my churchI was away from my biggest stressor - my AH. I started spending more time with him, and decided to move back home. Foolish. delusional? I am having myself a little pity party. I'm not sure how to move forward if we don't mov...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Recently, many things are starting to make sense. I am starting to understand them. Things from childhood, things that didn't make sense before. Why we lived in a big house but could never afford anything. Why my parents would se...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

So I started my new job today....lots of HR paperwork, I was tired, ran a bit of errands, got home prepared the kids to go trick-or-treating. I was not going to get into costume but in the last minute I did and it felt super fun. I felt like a happy child again myself....I wore a $6 thrift store mermaid cos...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I cannot get what I need from this relationship. If I'm going to be in a relationship, I need to respect and admire that person, and feel good about giving to them. I need to feel that the person cares about me, finds me interesting, appreciates what is good in me, finds me attractive, enjoys my company an...

maja · maja

hi all...i hope someone is out there... i am trying very hard to not enable my son but it is very hard....as clear as i get about who i want to be....i lose myself and get confused. he is 20, has an active warrant out for his felony strike offense, on and off of meth...hard for me to know exactly whats up right...

joker · joker

I am experiencing fear of having to attend court and testify againt the ex-alcoholic. Back in May 2013 he abused me badly and is now in jail. Trial has been set for Dec 16-18, 2013. I have all kinds of fears going through my mind. What if he gets off and is set free? What if, what if if..I know I do not know w...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

TGIF everyone I read the two post below me and I was also reading some of the responses. I have been working my program for a little over a year and I can say yes I'm much much better but like something Jerry F said. Quote: I remember thinking "Free at last, Free at last...thank God I'm free at last&...

trudgingalong · trudgingalong

Hi All, Quick background - hubbies been sober for several years now, with an "almost" slip last year. This past June I found him sexting with a newly sober woman living in a half way house..... - a month later found a singles profile set up - he was actively talking to women...... He promised...

seeking929 · seeking929

Hello. I visited this site a few minutes ago and read some posts that really related to me. I finally feel a connection to al-anon due to this site. Let me explain. I met my now husband and didn't know he was an alcoholic. We got engaged and I still didn't know. Not until a few weeks before the wedding....

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Cutting Bait (Preview) Hello everyone, I would like to ask for ESH from those of you who have parted ways with your (non-violent) A partner. What became the breaking point, how did it come about, etc...? I guess I'm looking for some inspiration to help me move on to the next step. Thank you :)	Raven Juniper	7	537	Nov 7, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	Back up plans, Boundary and Expectations (Preview) So I cancelled our couple therapy appointment for tomorrow (I am still going but he is not invited). Reason being, I told him 2 weeks ago if he didnt do some of the things we were asked to do and participate, I was going alone next time. He doesnt really do anything with the homework and we are not getting wh...	Iwantthingsback	11	708	Nov 7, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Pleasing an Active A... the egg story (Preview) There have been a ton of posts on here recently, with members struggling with trying to please / rationalize / understand the workings of their active A's.... I offer a gentle reminder of the infamous egg story.... The wonderful wife of an active A decides she wants to please her husband, so she gets up...	canadianguy	23	923	Nov 6, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Lost (Preview) Hi, I'm new here and I'm here because I am lost. I've never been an addict but my life has always involved one. My father was an alcoholic, my first 2 husbands were abusive alcoholics and my current husband is in rehab. We been together 10 years he has battled this demon his entire life. I knew he was recove...	farmerswife	11	539	Nov 6, 2013 by milkwood
	Is Alaon really teaching (Preview) Hello I am bitter tonight . My 1 year husband told me a lot tonight . A lot of crap . How Alaon teaching is wrong !! How I do not show any improvement . How I became a b*** because of Alaon teaching . I did what I could do with the tools of Alaon to focus on me and not the alcoholic and not to let him get in my way of rec...	Wisdom67	11	737	Nov 6, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Don't know how to feel about this.. (Preview) So today my son that is out of recovery his Sponser calls me and tells me that he thinks my son will fall back to what he was doing.. As most of you know my son is a addict and came out of recovery early October. He said the reason he feels this way is because my son is not doing as he tells him to do and he feels that...	Gaby	13	749	Nov 6, 2013 by Melly1248
	Active Alcoholism in the news. Right in front of a city! (Preview) Hi Everyone, Not sure how many of you follow the news but the mayor of Toronto Rob Ford, has been caught several times with drugs, intoxicated in public, and acting lewdly. Living in the area, It's amazing to see the constant empty apologies, the 'let's forget it and just move on' rhetoric, and the mani...	slogan_jim	6	560	Nov 6, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Change the Behavior, Change the Outcome (Preview) MIP-ers, Thank you all so much for responding to my last post (brief recap: feeling lonely because my partner is super busy). It truly was helpful to hear your feedback and I am implementing the feedback and suggestions. It helps tremendously not to feel alone. Here are some things I am doing to chan...	BlueCloud	12	818	Nov 6, 2013 by PIK
	Feeling off today (Preview) Since my last post, I have moved to my own place and the alcoholic ex-bf is still in jail. I have been served and I am to attend court for his abuse toward me. In addition to moving to my own place, I am filled with additional stress, of dealing with my older sister, an active alcoholic, love affair. A ye...	joker	2	292	Nov 6, 2013 by hotrod
	Having a very hard day (Preview) My wife is my qualifier and I'm pretty new to Al Anon. I've been having a very hard time dealing with our "situation" the last couple of days. My wife is seven months sober and in AA, regularly attending meetings with her sponsor. I found out a couple of weeks ago that she has been having an emot...	Somerset25	10	527	Nov 5, 2013 by grateful2be
	Struggling with the concept of "no expectations". Expections let-down feeling angry.... (Preview) As a fairly new member of Alanon, I am struggling with the concept of limiting our expectations. My qualifier is 27 years sober, so I do not have to deal with the pain of having an active drinker as a partner. However, our relationship and both of our behaviors are very typical of the Alcoholic (him) and...	PIK	24	619	Nov 5, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Baby steps to sanity :) (Preview) My days off have been seemingly uneventful and my judgemental side would say "wasted." Laundry didn't get done. The floors are still dirty. The vacuum is still broke; ABF didn't try to fix it as he'd promised, and I didn't stress over it. It's getting cold and the thermostat for the heater i...	Raven Juniper	2	341	Nov 5, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Lost it today (Preview) I lost all my temper today, I yelled at my AH like a crazy person, and he kept calmly telling me that I am crazy, and other mean things like i am cheap, vulgar, etc.. I was going really wild, i feel bad for doing it to myself, but i feel a relief. But i felt trapped again, i cant sleep in my own bed again, and i am t...	Venera	14	504	Nov 5, 2013 by Mari1978
	An Update and a Thank You (Preview) Thank you to those who responded to my question. I really appreciate everything that you have said, and am taking it and applying it to my life. It really means a whole lot to me. I was able to resonate with a lot of the things that were shared. I have attended one alanon meeting, I was feeling quite despera...	angellerose	2	432	Nov 5, 2013 by hotrod
	Poor behavior will not change (Preview) I am smart . I feel healthy . I'm trying my best . We can't turn the heat up because of the spouse not working. Comes upstairs and want to fight about I'm lazy I best get a Job I'm again non supported wife I am now a self Alaon loser . Sent me mutiple texts and when did not answer them he threaten to break door down...	Wisdom67	3	375	Nov 5, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	the relapse bandwagon..I am tired (Preview) Well, yes, again. My AH cant seem to do anything with others from his work. I realize that he tried and succeeded in not drinking at the beginning of the month when he went to science camp with his coworkers, but this one night seminar this weekend was just too much I guess. My concern is that he drove with o...	ryanhearted	7	538	Nov 5, 2013 by Ifnotforgrace
	wish I had more time... (Preview) I really wish I had more time to reflect & read more posts. I seem to run out of time before I am truly done. I am still a work in progress. You are all important to me & I value each soul who gets on here. I guess I am a little bit anxious. Maybe it is because I run out of time. I am so sorry that I can't alway...	Hoot Nanny	4	263	Nov 5, 2013 by ryanhearted
	**SPIRITUAL matter, I'll take ANY sincere prayer (Preview) WEll, I have been trying to make amends with/ re-connect wmy Higher Power....or more truthfully connect w/him, really, intimately, for the FIRST time...since then, the step 3, thing, I have been under MAJOR attack.....satan is creating havoc in my life...When i told HP I do NOT WANT TO BE AGNOSTIC A...	neshema2	8	483	Nov 5, 2013 by neshema2
	What to do? (Preview) Please somebody help me! What can I do now? My husband left on sunday to a hotel where he was going to drink after drinking on Saturday. He ususally takes 5 days drinking and then starts functioning again. Saturday night he was watching tv till 4 am, i couldnt sleep, I have a 3 week old baby which i have to fe...	Venera	7	716	Nov 5, 2013 by neshema2
	Encouragement & ESH Needed (Preview) MIPers, I could really use some encouragement to LIVE (and let live!). My partner is extraordinarily busy with full-time work and part-time school and I am finding myself at loose ends. And, by loose ends, I mean bored, frustrated (with her schedule), and resentful. It has been very hard for me not t...	BlueCloud	11	501	Nov 5, 2013 by BlueCloud
	with a clearer mind, I edited my "need prayer post" (Preview) I read that post....I could see my pain all over the place..... I edited it so as to be more "generic" re: the HP thingy....i was NOT doing a proseletize job on anyone on the original....I was just crying out.....those of you who replied to my apology to the board post, I sooo appreciate you, a...	neshema2	7	444	Nov 5, 2013 by grateful2be
	Refreshing Change (Preview) Hi all You know a little about my lazy SO and me doing everything in regards to the home. Well one of the things I stopped doing about 4 months ago was cleaning the office. I don't use it much so I decided it was his mess and he can clean it..or not...he uses it all the time. Well this weekend I guess he hit HI...	Cathyinaz	2	445	Nov 5, 2013 by grateful2be
	Breakthrough (Preview) Breakthrough with my recovery today. My AH (who moved out a month ago) called yesterday to ask me where the truck registration tags were as his had expired in July. I kindly reminded him that I had given him the tags and new registration back in August and I'm not sure where it is, but I will look around...	mongowal	4	300	Nov 5, 2013 by grateful2be
	It may be good or may not be (Preview) Hello everyone. Just sharing. I took a break this weekend, didnt go anywhere other than outside my head. A break from Al Anon, reading, important talks, things like that. Tom and I had a wonderful - wonderful weekend. I let the worries and stress go and somehow told myself everything is normal, it is t...	Iwantthingsback	4	462	Nov 5, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	I lost my temper today :( (Preview) Well, I'm living with my parents and niece (and her two month old) for the moment. Got a new job. My brothers children came over today and played with my children. I was very calm and peachy keen until I took a break in a room. I then heard my niece say " ...are a pain, especially Abram". She w...	RoseODAT	9	737	Nov 4, 2013 by neshema2
	some step 3 reflections and lesson I learned . (Preview) Step 3 progress update Its kinda nice to sit, breathe, meditate , first give thanks to HP for what IS correct in my life and to petition not just for me but for all who are struggling w/something...be it health, finances, family stuff, whatever, pain is pain and the steady "drip" i was getti...	neshema2	4	488	Nov 4, 2013 by hotrod
	My Alcoholic's deep depression (Preview) My husband and I are behind on our mortgage by 2 payments for quite a while now. Over a year. The bank wants us to modify our loan and stretch it out for 40 years. We have less than 10 years to pay it off. We will be in our 90's!!!! We can pay every month but it is difficult to pay the back payments. We have done fin...	nancymom4	13	644	Nov 4, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Thank goodness I dropped expectations! (Preview) My son has 3 good friends over for his birthday right now. We're going to a concert in an hour or so and they're having pizza and cake in a bit. My AH is 'resting' in the bedroom, he's been in there for the past 3 hours. He has not come out to greet our son's friends. The boys probably don't even realize he'...	ilovedogs	3	497	Nov 4, 2013 by ilovedogs
	A Question About Rehab rehab (Preview) Hello, all! Background story (if you'd care to read):I've never been on here before, but I needed some advice so I figured I'm come on here. Growing up, I knew that my dad was an alcoholic, but things weren't so bad because he would stay sober for many years, and then maybe every 3 or 4 years or so (maybe mor...	angellerose	6	6825	Nov 4, 2013 by Mattie
	New rules new management (Preview) Well it's Sunday and it's ALAON night yeah!!!! It's my face to face meeting . My children say mom why are you so happy your going to a meeting ? Dad hates his meetings! This is true it's become a chore for him he not happy when he leaves and not happy when he returns . My meetings are my only night I get out...	Wisdom67	7	492	Nov 4, 2013 by Mari1978
	Love to all Al Anon friends (Preview) Just wanted to say thanks to all who have responded to the few posts I have done. I am somewhat new here. But since I am not always able to get to my meetings with running my teen around, this place of Al-anon friends is such a comfort to me. Thanks for listening and responding. Sometimes we don't need great...	nancymom4	1	270	Nov 4, 2013 by PP
	New name (Preview) Well I decided to change my name and start over. Today I am grateful I'm alive and healthy and my AH is SOBER. I'm grateful for my children and grateful for taking action on my life and turn my life over to my HP who is my god. The day I had my true vision on how my HP wanted me to learn the right way live , he has...	Wisdom67	15	1000	Nov 4, 2013 by ryanhearted
	How old are we now? I can't believe that I am dealing with this! (Preview) I really shouldn't be having to deal with this. I almost can't believe I am dealing with this. I shouldn't let this bother me, but I am SO FURIOUS right now. I gave my recent ex the benefit of the doubt and didn't unfriend him on Facebook. I wanted to try to lessen the pain for him from us breaking up. Well now...	bijela	11	545	Nov 4, 2013 by Jerry F
	Don't let your kids kill you (Preview) 'Dont let your kids kill you' This is the emotive title of a book written by a parent, two of whose children were A's. This is not CAL literature, but (in my humble eyes) should be! It's by Charles Rubin It helped me a lot. Ness	Ness	10	608	Nov 4, 2013 by LeenieBeanie
	Did my ex misunderstand Al Anon's message?? Al Anon boundaries addiction change (Preview) Hi All, I'm new here and would like some opinions on what happened to my relationship with my ex GF. I am a compulsive overeater and go back and forth between going to OA meetings. I suggested my GF try Al Anon to deal with some problems her daughter was having and she liked the meetings and began to attend r...	Tyrone	16	10243	Nov 4, 2013 by Tyrone
	How do you trust your gut and not take all the blame for everything? (Preview) I am trying SO HARD to trust my gut and not blame myself for other's behavior. I get this overwhelming sense of guilt that I did something wrong when logicially, I didn't. I guess it is the whole ACOA thing where you are blamed for everything that happens in the house that the addict had brought onto the...	bijela	5	455	Nov 3, 2013 by RoseODAT
	Update on the can of worms... (Preview) for three years, I have struggled...bankruptcy...working extra to take care of my kids, with no support from exA...broken household things that I had to find a way to repair (like when my well pump went, and my dad and I had to replace it in below freezing weather). I try very hard to focus on the positiv...	rehprof	11	578	Nov 4, 2013 by Breakingfree
	MINUTES OF OCTOBER 6, 2013 CHAT ROOM BUSINESS MEETING (Preview) October 6, 2013 Business meeting members present: Tigger, Winnie, mspw, KathieG, bubblegum, davidg, xenon robinks, Shimo, grace, whackamole, Diane > Tigger opened the meeting with the Serenity prayer. Agenda to include: 1.) Ops and others doing chair actions without consultation. 2....	Tigger	0	343	Nov 3, 2013 by Tigger
	Little Wobbly but getting through (Preview) So A and I are in our typical fight and I haven't heard from him all day. Yesterday was good, I had a good day despite this crap. Today has been harder. I find myself lost as far as how to live anymore, to connect with people socially. It's easier to be home that way I am safe, or feel safe because its just easie...	mm830	4	358	Nov 3, 2013 by hotrod
	Oh so challenging (Preview) So I bottom lined it for A. Told him he needs to leave. He decides to go into detox centre for a week. (Support his decision in that...but....) I took the little one to see him tonight. He asked. I thought okay I can do this. All of his things are still here. I asked what his plans were upon leaving the centre....	Mari1978	6	468	Nov 3, 2013 by pinkchip
	AL-ANON CHAT GROUP BUSINESS MEETING TONIGHT AT 8.30PM (EST) (Preview) Dear chat group members, The monthly chat room meeting business group meets this evening straight after the regular 7pm est Al-Anon meeting. All Al-Anon meeting members are welcome to attend and discuss any concerns or ideas relating to the meetings. Hope to see you there. Tigger (business grou...	Tigger	0	311	Nov 3, 2013 by Tigger
	AA meetings open meetings (Preview) HI all - so my A did go to a AA meeting this Wed past as he said (this is when I tried to go to my F2F in the same BLDG). Good thing we drove separate because there was no meeting there for me, I am beginning to think there are no real Al anon meetings in Rochester LOL Anyway, he mentioned last night about me goin...	Iwantthingsback	9	985	Nov 3, 2013 by Tracy
	The duck! (Preview) You know that saying 'if it walks and talks like a duck, then its a duck?' To me, for where I am in my life right now, this is so meaningful. Its all about the truth, you know, just the basic facts. Not my own definition or interpretation of the truth just the bare facts that actually equal the truth. I'm 42 n...	el-cee	13	667	Nov 3, 2013 by milkwood
	The Change Curve (Preview)	el-cee	4	545	Nov 3, 2013 by milkwood
	Understanding step 4 (Preview) Today I woke up and started to pray for me today. We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.We became addicted to excitement.We confuse love and pity and tend to "love" people we can "pity" and "rescue."We have "stuffe...	Ms co-dependent	6	1154	Nov 3, 2013 by bijela
	oh yea, right...I am in recovery b/c I am such a "cold heart" (Preview) I am on facebook friend and I R chatting and hes ALL distraught....I ask him "whats up" he tells me my sister is not doing well w/her cancer.... (this is the sister who abused me all my life----condemned me for name change and thus dumping the sire------didn't want me to have my share of in...	neshema2	12	511	Nov 3, 2013 by bijela
	Oh, they aren't just "stages". (Preview) Funny how I can understand, accept and deal with so many truths and yet keep finding things I am completely in denial about. (And yes of course I know there are deeper issues, these are superficial things but I'm just making some realisations about them). For example, the A has all of these "bad ha...	Melly1248	14	694	Nov 3, 2013 by bijela
	Facing the inevitability (Preview) Hello everyone. I am new to this site hoping to get some advice. My husband had a dui two years ago and he really straightened up for a while but then went back to drinking and hiding it from me since i guess the past year. I always know when hes been drinking i dont even have to smell it. So we just made a big mov...	Kah27	12	606	Nov 3, 2013 by bijela
	Son's Suicide (Preview) I've never been here before, don't know how to deal about 6 weeks ago my 29-year-old alcoholic son, committed suicide and I feel pain everywhere. My back hurts, my legs hurt, my heart is broken, my other son is in denial and we live about 300 miles apart so life is so complicated. I just don't know how to co...	brenb2011	26	827	Nov 3, 2013 by bijela
	Why do I always Feel I have to do Something (Preview) I'm writing this because I need to tell somebody. I will not get involved, I will not rescue my son, I will not call for help. He made his choice and I will not project the outcome anymore. Let go Let God.......	Cathyinaz	14	835	Nov 3, 2013 by bijela
	Living with a broken heart (Preview) I am finding I can do this a day at a time. It is 2 years this week (27th) since my son died of this disease. I have been agitated the last couple of weeks but my Al-anon tools when I apply them calm me. What I find much more difficult is his birthday, which is tomorrow (30th), he would have been 37. So I have to...	Ness	22	775	Nov 3, 2013 by DreamsOver
	now what? (Preview) I thought I was doing okay. I had my own place, a part time job, I'm active n my churchI was away from my biggest stressor - my AH. I started spending more time with him, and decided to move back home. Foolish. delusional? I am having myself a little pity party. I'm not sure how to move forward if we don't mov...	sadsusie	4	543	Nov 3, 2013 by Mattie
	Things are starting to make sense. (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Recently, many things are starting to make sense. I am starting to understand them. Things from childhood, things that didn't make sense before. Why we lived in a big house but could never afford anything. Why my parents would se...	slogan_jim	3	428	Nov 2, 2013 by DavidG
	Halloween evening (Preview) So I started my new job today....lots of HR paperwork, I was tired, ran a bit of errands, got home prepared the kids to go trick-or-treating. I was not going to get into costume but in the last minute I did and it felt super fun. I felt like a happy child again myself....I wore a $6 thrift store mermaid cos...	RoseODAT	7	473	Nov 2, 2013 by grateful2be
	I want better. (Preview) I cannot get what I need from this relationship. If I'm going to be in a relationship, I need to respect and admire that person, and feel good about giving to them. I need to feel that the person cares about me, finds me interesting, appreciates what is good in me, finds me attractive, enjoys my company an...	Melly1248	15	684	Nov 2, 2013 by grateful2be
	DIRECTION NEEDED NOW IN REGARDS TO MY SON THE ADDICT (Preview) hi all...i hope someone is out there... i am trying very hard to not enable my son but it is very hard....as clear as i get about who i want to be....i lose myself and get confused. he is 20, has an active warrant out for his felony strike offense, on and off of meth...hard for me to know exactly whats up right...	maja	9	609	Nov 2, 2013 by grammie
	Fear of court (Preview) I am experiencing fear of having to attend court and testify againt the ex-alcoholic. Back in May 2013 he abused me badly and is now in jail. Trial has been set for Dec 16-18, 2013. I have all kinds of fears going through my mind. What if he gets off and is set free? What if, what if if..I know I do not know w...	joker	5	600	Nov 2, 2013 by bud
	Reading Posts (Preview) TGIF everyone I read the two post below me and I was also reading some of the responses. I have been working my program for a little over a year and I can say yes I'm much much better but like something Jerry F said. Quote: I remember thinking "Free at last, Free at last...thank God I'm free at last&...	Cathyinaz	5	536	Nov 2, 2013 by RoseODAT
	Women texting my husband (Preview) Hi All, Quick background - hubbies been sober for several years now, with an "almost" slip last year. This past June I found him sexting with a newly sober woman living in a half way house..... - a month later found a singles profile set up - he was actively talking to women...... He promised...	trudgingalong	18	1395	Nov 2, 2013 by likemyheart
	Online Sponsorship (Preview) Hello. I visited this site a few minutes ago and read some posts that really related to me. I finally feel a connection to al-anon due to this site. Let me explain. I met my now husband and didn't know he was an alcoholic. We got engaged and I still didn't know. Not until a few weeks before the wedding....	seeking929	17	625	Nov 2, 2013 by Tasha
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.