Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just a short reflection: My step-mom passed away 2 years ago yesterday. I forgot to mention it in my last post. I put her photo on Facebook. She is on my mind today as well. It hurts a lot because my mom who is still alive is slipping from me. Kathleen

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

I know not everyone uses music, but music is how I relate, commutate at times and well. Music is my thing for a lot. This is a song IF I decide to leave my A means something to me. And sometimes I think when I hear it helps me decide what I really want. I am at my cross road so it hits home. I wish I could play it fo...

abbyalana · abbyalana

For some reason I had this surge of personal growth last week. I feel like I "let go" and it's scary and exciting all at the same time. I am not worrying anymore about the exAH. If court stuff happens...it happens and I will handle it. I am not worrying about the house and bills anymore. I'v...

nancymom4 · nancymom4

I am feeling blue today. Recently realizing my spouse Alcoholic (sober) is so distant from me. Not knowing if we will ever be close again. Not giving up but just coming to a realization of our relationship. Now 3 of the 4 kids are mostly grown and doing their own thing. The now 14 yr. old is in her teenage di...

Jen61 · Jen61

Number 1 is that I finished step 1. I now have 2 sponsors and met with one last night. She has been going to Al-anon for a long time and really knows her stuff. She gave me a lot of food for thought. Will be interesting to see what the next sponsor will say. I have a lot of stuff running through my mind so an...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Even w/ what I call the crazies, I am still here! My mom & I have barely talked since she got home Tuesday. She is in jeopardy of losing her license & is running around all over town on foot mostly. She is 70 & is acting like she has it all together. I mean 70 year old women do have it together but i a...

mm830 · mm830

I pray that I can choose my thoughts wisely today and see the gift of the new day in front of me. Why do I have to choose pain today when there are so many other options? I will choose to make today a day full of love, peace, and self care. Plus give some love to those around me who need it. Have a wonderful day mip...

neshema2 · neshema2

I did a post that broke the alanon rules about religion, et al... Sorry...I didn't know......If I offended anyone w/my post, I apologize.....I will not mention anything but "HP" ....that should keep me from messing up I saw some of you posting to me b4 it was taken down.... Thank you for yo...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Tomorrow is the day of my daughter's Halloween party. People don't really celebrate Halloween in a major way in Australia; you get the odd groups of kids trick-or-treating and they have a few decorations in the supermarkets in recent years but it's not recognised by most so those odd groups of kids tr...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Ok, everyone, I have a confession to make and I am grateful today that I actually have awareness of what my brain is doing right now. My AH is shutting me out more than usual, not even making eye contact with me, not communicating with me unless he absolutely must speak. I believe he's using it as his own...

hotrod · hotrod

Good Morning MIP Family Today's Quote from Courage to Change is a powerful thought "That the birds of worry and care fly above your head , this you cannot change,But that they build nests in your hair this you can prevent. Do not let the birds build a nest today

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

Hello all. I hope everyone is happy today!! Last night it seemed comical, but feeling the effects of it today. Some days when Mr Dry jerk has a bad day it doesnt bother or affect me much. Last night, I brought up my book that I always wanted to write and somehow we got on the subject of me going back to school...

mongowal · mongowal

I can't seem to stop crying today. I can't even pin point it down to anything that has happened. I went to my f2f meeting today which previously has always been very calming and serene for me. My emotions are running wild and I can't control them at all. I know I'm being irrational but can't seem to st...

Sefrin · Sefrin

1st time posting here, my wife is a Alcholic, has been for years-she nearly drank herself to death a few years ago 30+ a day, and got violent at the end. Long story short 6' guy had to get a restraining order on his 5'3" wife. After that she was sober for 3 great years then decided to start drinking agai...

Jen61 · Jen61

So manipulative and can lie lie lie while looking right in your eyes. When will I ever learn.

Jozie · Jozie

Hello All, Its Been a Long Time & I Have So Missed Each of you, and your ESH, and Love & Kindness... As Winter Nears My Time I Hope to Free up for More time with all of you! Welp...Today Marks (3) Years Sober for Me... And I have to Say.. I Couldn't be Happier! I have Grown to New Hieghts, I have Made Pla...

kickstart77 · kickstart77

A few days back, my boyfriend told me he is searching for an emptiness inside, he wants adventure, needs to fill a whole so big inside, he wants to take his car to wherever the wind takes him. And, in our up and down unpredictable year and a half relationship, it all made sense. He wanted me, but sometimes....

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Well today for some reason life is hard to manage for me with AH not working unable to get to my Therepy today due to know health insurance . I am very down in the dumps today . I said my serenity pray every half an hour for me to accept I can't change the current situation , that I can't how much our lives had cha...

OneMan · OneMan

Hello everyone. I googled al anon forums and found this place. I know what al anon is, I have been going to meetings for about a year now. I am familiar with the 12 steps, by no means an expert; as for meetings I just go-when-I-can sort of thing. I am a male in my late 20's, soon to be not married with two small...

tweety23 · tweety23

I am feeling kind of sad lately because I keep seeing pics on Facebook of friends getting together with other couples for dinner parties and the like. We have no more couples to get together with. Either AH scared them off and they no longer call or I put off getting together with "nice" frien...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi All I have never ever went away by myself on a holiday. But this year I'm going to go see my sister in CA for Thanksgiving. Leaving my SO and my son alone to fend for themselves. I'm feeling bad about it but why should I. I have spent so many Thanksgivings either without them or drunk or mad or whatever...

el-cee · el-cee

I have missed a couple of meetings lately. It is not like me at all. Its the horrible wintery nights drawing in though. I get in from work and I want to stay in the house and argue with myself for a while and then Its too late anyway. I need to get my mojo back and get moving. Thanks for listening.

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Because she has been having a lot of behavioral problems at school and at her afterschool program. While I am in school I obviously haven't been able to give her what she needs. I feel terrible about this, but think it may be the best for her. He is not drinking and is a great dad, he only works until 4 pm and h...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

I can see a little more clearly today. I was angry for a short time on Sunday. Stared at the A while he spoke gibberish and the whole time I don't think I heard one word he actually said.My mind was busy picking up some of my tools and planning. Funny part was most of the planning was already there. I had sa...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Time is running out today. I am so frustrated because my mom is home & she is still not herself yet! I don't know is she ever will be. She has been in two hospitals for over 2 mos. I am expecting & I probably shouldn't her to recover from this hopeless mind & body situation! I guess I am a pessimis...

Rose50 · Rose50

After 6 months of unemployment, I have finally landed a job! Today was my first day and I am tired but certainly not complaining. Boy do I need this to keep me busy and my mind occupied.

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Oh, just lol. After mentioning on Raven's post that I'd go to bed and focus on making a gratitude list instead of thinking angry thoughts about the A, I did so. My list went something like this. 1) I'm grateful that the A got angry and locked himself in his own room because he's snoring so loudly the walls a...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

Remember me? I haven't posted for a little while but I've been reading and kerping up with everyone. Need some MIP clarity. I left the AH a year ago in August. This August was looming large for him because he knew I was going to file for divorce the day I could. He was ordered in July to install an ignition lo...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Having co-dependency means that, at some point, I completely lost myself in another person - a person that happened to be an alcoholic. That means that for that entire decade there was a whirlwind of chaos, emotional breaking, depression, and anxiety. I had no boundaries. I said I wouldn't accept...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Here is a relaxation track I found that is much more soothing than listening to the A shout and bang things around when he is drunk. I hope it helps others as much as it has helped me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e59guruVL4o

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Blessed Sunday everyone I'm sitting here right now looking at my SO asleep on the chair. Yesterday he slept all day and now today he will. He doesn't help around here just works, eats and sleeps. I'm so ready to move on and I want so bad to just wake him up and tell him but I know it's not a good time. I'm not...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am still in pain but i want to catch up w/ and to all of you! Up to speed: I had 2 massages last week & discovered it is massage therapy & somewhat painful but it is helping! I haven't been back to the chiropractor since I last posted. Don't plan to either. My husband puts a special salve I guess on my...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Today when I woke up, I immediately began to feel angry. I was angry because I slept late, and I had things I wanted to do, things I Had To Do, and it's my day off, and I'm already not enjoying it. I felt stressed, since ABF was getting drunk and high all last night, and I could hear him banging around in the kit...

Grumble · Grumble

MY ACOA double winner BF - clean for 12 years, works the program - has just had a complete shutdown.i We had a great relationship, had a fight and he shut down, asked for space, I had issues giving it to him and we argued, I pushed him to dump me. He said he doesn't know what happened but he doesn't feel the s...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning 4 days my son has been out of rehab. Text him to say HI and how his new place was. Called got voice mail..... No response for two days. OH WELL Let go Let God........

Mari1978 · Mari1978

My current avatar reminds me that sometimes I feel like I'm lost in a corn field. I have 2 choices. I can panic or use the brain I have been given to calmly assess the situation and decide to save my energy to finding my way out. After wandering around for a lengthy period of time I become tired and frustra...

Gaby · Gaby

So my son is talking to his baby's momma and I feel nothing but tension between he and I.. This past Sunday he has made me feel horrible. He says he us stressed out. Well gosh knows what she is saying to him because he doesn't open up to me. When I call him I feel like nothing but his punching bag. As a mother I wo...

bud · bud

This past Wednesday, my Dad told me that he may go to a step down unit on Thursday. He is exhausted from lack of sleep that comes with the territory of being in a hospital- that -combined with his stroke affected speech - truly limits how he can express himself. I told him that it was a real treat for me to h...

safehaven · safehaven

Hi. I am new to this board. Fairly new to learning about alcoholism and all that surrounds it. While I had an uncle and an older brother who were both alcoholic, I wasn't around either before they cleaned themselves up. The uncle has passed and my brother and I are almost twenty years apart so we were neve...

hotrod · hotrod

I have found this to be so true

Milehi-tlc · Milehi-tlc

So as many of you probably remember my AH filed for divorce in July. Through alanon I detached because really I had no other choice. Seems my detachment escalated his disease and the verbal abuse and anger was off the charts. I do believe my HP took the controls out of my hand because I struggled for y...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

Does anyone know how I can find a list of meetings in my area? I have left 3 messages for the Rochester NY al Anon group and emailed a few times and nothing back. I looked around online but it keeps taking my back to their phone and email address. All I want is to find a face to face ad getting a little nervous...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Hi everyone, AH has been gone in St Thomas for his sales incentive trip for the past week. I chose not to go for many reasons, including the fact that my mom couldn't fly out to watch our son. Anyway, I am nervous about his homecoming. It's been such a peaceful week, the TV has barely been on, we got lots o...

stilllearning · stilllearning

Hello everyone just wanted to see what others have done with nightmares. I have been pretty freaked out by some lately. Tried telling myself I am ok... but it seemed so real...(freaked me out bad enough could go back to sleep last night) and the feelings have hung with me all day. Any ideas, techniques...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Everything was going so well. Then I slipped back into my old ways. I snooped, looking for things I already knew but didn't want to find. I snapped and started an argument. After months of doing so well, there we were right back in our old roles. I was screaming, he was threatening to go to a bar. Fortunate...

likemyheart · likemyheart

THE SHOEBOX A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her abou...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I must say I am glad I'm reading and learning how to stay out of the way of things that can take me off my way to recovery . I have seen a post that was sent to me enormously and it's quite upsetting knowing that my A is telling false truth. He not being honest at all .and I can see how ppl have to look at it and respo...

neshema2 · neshema2

Being agnostic about creator's involvement in my life has caused me much sorrow...like i was missing something...robbed of it and , i know, it goes waaay back to as a child when the abuser would tell me he was "doing this to me b/c *god* told him to teach me about sex"that wasn't the biginning...

Gaby · Gaby

Hello every one. As I have shared my son has been home after being in a Christian base rehab going on 5 1/2 months completely clean from all and working his program. He has a job now that he truly enjoys and I have to admit he has been doing really good. He and a female roommate live in our rental just a few hous...

Dawn14 · Dawn14

This is my first post here. i am living with an AH and I am miserable. We been having marital problems for almost 2 years. Tried counseling, only made it worse. I have tried to leave twice. Both times I get the "I will change, my family is so important to me. Or even worse he threatens to kill himself an...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Hi y'all. Today my new therapist pointed out that I had a lot of perfectionism. (I told her I want the truth). I agree. Then I opened up Courage To Change and whaddya know! It said that we develop perfectionism to cope with blame and criticism growing up. As many of you know my situation with the famil...

swood31 · swood31

I love my husband so much & i fear for his life. He's drinking 12-14 or more shots of vodka per night plus beer and now I've also been finding canned air duster cans everywhere. A couple months ago I found him passed out in his car with it running & a bottle of canned air in his hand. I'm so afraid t...

KiaOra · KiaOra

Hi all, I'm new to this site and pretty new to al-anon. My boyfriend is my qualifier, and when he drinks, he tends to injure himself, sometimes pretty severely. It's never been to the point of having to go to the emergency room (at least not since I have known him) but enough that he is visibly in a lot of p...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Good morning . Well afternoon since the days are all the same to me . I find Sunday is the only day I can remember I think it's because that's when the crazyness starts. But today my plans my goal is to replace my bad Sunday with good Sunday . I find that's when I'm totally confused and scared because it's mee...

John · John

This post is for both newcomers and oldtimers. I want all newcomers to know that although you might not see or feel it right now, things will get better. You are in the process of getting better yourself. Stay close, to us here, get to as many face to face meetings as you can in your community, try to fin...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi everyone Thursday went good without fear. I picked up my son and we went to the place where he would stay. He like it and signed up to live there. It's close to the rehab where he still can go back to for meetings, counseling and support he needs. If that happens only God knows. This place is a transi...

Bobbi · Bobbi

Well ha ha joke is on me. I thought I had messed up the other. Boy was I ever wrong. I mean, I was pretty rude but I no longer care about that. Today was an eventful day. Went to a birthday party for my best friend. Husband got extremely intoxicated. A different friend drove us home. Husband left a card for...

richard · richard

It has been a very long time since I last visited this board. My life is like no other. My life is a bit different than most. Please give me the benefit of doubt until you get to know me some. Right now I so would like to be rid of some guilt. I born into a family that was going to have four boys and three girl...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I've a feeling everybody is happy and going on with their life, except me. My a/a daugther is not answering her door, her phone and is off face book for about a week. Her brother said she is alright where ever she is, her adult son said he was tired of trying to check up on her and let his other brother go b...

kickstart77 · kickstart77

So I'm new, and I don't know any of you. Last weekend, my ex-husband told me his girlfriend was moving out, and he cried and cried. He finally realized the damage his drinking has done to those he loves the most. Thankfully, he drinks alone or at home when the children are asleep and stays sober at work (I t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	sometimes it doesn't seem any easier. (Preview) Just a short reflection: My step-mom passed away 2 years ago yesterday. I forgot to mention it in my last post. I put her photo on Facebook. She is on my mind today as well. It hurts a lot because my mom who is still alive is slipping from me. Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	7	342	Nov 1, 2013 by Ness
	Just sharing........... (Preview) I know not everyone uses music, but music is how I relate, commutate at times and well. Music is my thing for a lot. This is a song IF I decide to leave my A means something to me. And sometimes I think when I hear it helps me decide what I really want. I am at my cross road so it hits home. I wish I could play it fo...	Iwantthingsback	5	438	Nov 1, 2013 by milkwood
	I had a breakthrough! (Preview) For some reason I had this surge of personal growth last week. I feel like I "let go" and it's scary and exciting all at the same time. I am not worrying anymore about the exAH. If court stuff happens...it happens and I will handle it. I am not worrying about the house and bills anymore. I'v...	abbyalana	8	266	Nov 1, 2013 by Jerry F
	feeling blue (Preview) I am feeling blue today. Recently realizing my spouse Alcoholic (sober) is so distant from me. Not knowing if we will ever be close again. Not giving up but just coming to a realization of our relationship. Now 3 of the 4 kids are mostly grown and doing their own thing. The now 14 yr. old is in her teenage di...	nancymom4	10	374	Nov 1, 2013 by nancymom4
	Just a few things (Preview) Number 1 is that I finished step 1. I now have 2 sponsors and met with one last night. She has been going to Al-anon for a long time and really knows her stuff. She gave me a lot of food for thought. Will be interesting to see what the next sponsor will say. I have a lot of stuff running through my mind so an...	Jen61	7	449	Nov 1, 2013 by Jerry F
	I am still here... (Preview) Even w/ what I call the crazies, I am still here! My mom & I have barely talked since she got home Tuesday. She is in jeopardy of losing her license & is running around all over town on foot mostly. She is 70 & is acting like she has it all together. I mean 70 year old women do have it together but i a...	Hoot Nanny	0	172	Oct 31, 2013 by Hoot Nanny
	Choosing to view today as a gift (Preview) I pray that I can choose my thoughts wisely today and see the gift of the new day in front of me. Why do I have to choose pain today when there are so many other options? I will choose to make today a day full of love, peace, and self care. Plus give some love to those around me who need it. Have a wonderful day mip...	mm830	6	260	Nov 1, 2013 by RoseODAT
	Apology to the board (Preview) I did a post that broke the alanon rules about religion, et al... Sorry...I didn't know......If I offended anyone w/my post, I apologize.....I will not mention anything but "HP" ....that should keep me from messing up I saw some of you posting to me b4 it was taken down.... Thank you for yo...	neshema2	14	600	Nov 1, 2013 by Rose50
	Kiddo's Halloween Party. (Preview) Tomorrow is the day of my daughter's Halloween party. People don't really celebrate Halloween in a major way in Australia; you get the odd groups of kids trick-or-treating and they have a few decorations in the supermarkets in recent years but it's not recognised by most so those odd groups of kids tr...	Melly1248	10	435	Nov 1, 2013 by el-cee
	OMG: My thinking is heading back toward denial?? HELP! (Preview) Ok, everyone, I have a confession to make and I am grateful today that I actually have awareness of what my brain is doing right now. My AH is shutting me out more than usual, not even making eye contact with me, not communicating with me unless he absolutely must speak. I believe he's using it as his own...	ilovedogs	9	414	Nov 1, 2013 by grateful2be
	Happy Halloween Thought for the day (Preview) Good Morning MIP Family Today's Quote from Courage to Change is a powerful thought "That the birds of worry and care fly above your head , this you cannot change,But that they build nests in your hair this you can prevent. Do not let the birds build a nest today	hotrod	6	473	Nov 1, 2013 by bud
	disease not the person (Preview) Hello all. I hope everyone is happy today!! Last night it seemed comical, but feeling the effects of it today. Some days when Mr Dry jerk has a bad day it doesnt bother or affect me much. Last night, I brought up my book that I always wanted to write and somehow we got on the subject of me going back to school...	Iwantthingsback	4	394	Oct 31, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	What is wrong with me (Preview) I can't seem to stop crying today. I can't even pin point it down to anything that has happened. I went to my f2f meeting today which previously has always been very calming and serene for me. My emotions are running wild and I can't control them at all. I know I'm being irrational but can't seem to st...	mongowal	12	878	Oct 31, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Broken (Preview) 1st time posting here, my wife is a Alcholic, has been for years-she nearly drank herself to death a few years ago 30+ a day, and got violent at the end. Long story short 6' guy had to get a restraining order on his 5'3" wife. After that she was sober for 3 great years then decided to start drinking agai...	Sefrin	8	474	Oct 31, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	If you give them an inch they take a mile... (Preview) So manipulative and can lie lie lie while looking right in your eyes. When will I ever learn.	Jen61	11	553	Oct 31, 2013 by Ness
	Im Doing 3-5... Thanks to All of You .... (Preview) Hello All, Its Been a Long Time & I Have So Missed Each of you, and your ESH, and Love & Kindness... As Winter Nears My Time I Hope to Free up for More time with all of you! Welp...Today Marks (3) Years Sober for Me... And I have to Say.. I Couldn't be Happier! I have Grown to New Hieghts, I have Made Pla...	Jozie	8	319	Oct 31, 2013 by Ness
	I am the Temporary (Preview) A few days back, my boyfriend told me he is searching for an emptiness inside, he wants adventure, needs to fill a whole so big inside, he wants to take his car to wherever the wind takes him. And, in our up and down unpredictable year and a half relationship, it all made sense. He wanted me, but sometimes....	kickstart77	6	399	Oct 31, 2013 by el-cee
	Depressed looking for prays (Preview) Well today for some reason life is hard to manage for me with AH not working unable to get to my Therepy today due to know health insurance . I am very down in the dumps today . I said my serenity pray every half an hour for me to accept I can't change the current situation , that I can't how much our lives had cha...	Ms co-dependent	10	520	Oct 31, 2013 by MeTwo2
	New forum member, long share, hope it helps others. (Preview) Hello everyone. I googled al anon forums and found this place. I know what al anon is, I have been going to meetings for about a year now. I am familiar with the 12 steps, by no means an expert; as for meetings I just go-when-I-can sort of thing. I am a male in my late 20's, soon to be not married with two small...	OneMan	14	568	Oct 31, 2013 by Ness
	Couple friends (or lack thereof) (Preview) I am feeling kind of sad lately because I keep seeing pics on Facebook of friends getting together with other couples for dinner parties and the like. We have no more couples to get together with. Either AH scared them off and they no longer call or I put off getting together with "nice" frien...	tweety23	5	446	Oct 30, 2013 by RoseODAT
	I feel bad but I don't care (Preview) Hi All I have never ever went away by myself on a holiday. But this year I'm going to go see my sister in CA for Thanksgiving. Leaving my SO and my son alone to fend for themselves. I'm feeling bad about it but why should I. I have spent so many Thanksgivings either without them or drunk or mad or whatever...	Cathyinaz	14	544	Oct 30, 2013 by Ness
	Need my meetings (Preview) I have missed a couple of meetings lately. It is not like me at all. Its the horrible wintery nights drawing in though. I get in from work and I want to stay in the house and argue with myself for a while and then Its too late anyway. I need to get my mojo back and get moving. Thanks for listening.	el-cee	6	263	Oct 30, 2013 by Lyne
	I am debating on letting my 5 year old live with her dad..... (Preview) Because she has been having a lot of behavioral problems at school and at her afterschool program. While I am in school I obviously haven't been able to give her what she needs. I feel terrible about this, but think it may be the best for her. He is not drinking and is a great dad, he only works until 4 pm and h...	Breakingfree	23	539	Oct 30, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Closer to serenity..I can feel it (Preview) I can see a little more clearly today. I was angry for a short time on Sunday. Stared at the A while he spoke gibberish and the whole time I don't think I heard one word he actually said.My mind was busy picking up some of my tools and planning. Funny part was most of the planning was already there. I had sa...	Mari1978	8	329	Oct 30, 2013 by Mari1978
	time is a wasting, mom is home needs more recovery time! (Preview) Time is running out today. I am so frustrated because my mom is home & she is still not herself yet! I don't know is she ever will be. She has been in two hospitals for over 2 mos. I am expecting & I probably shouldn't her to recover from this hopeless mind & body situation! I guess I am a pessimis...	Hoot Nanny	2	180	Oct 30, 2013 by hotrod
	I am working again (Preview) After 6 months of unemployment, I have finally landed a job! Today was my first day and I am tired but certainly not complaining. Boy do I need this to keep me busy and my mind occupied.	Rose50	8	174	Oct 30, 2013 by bud
	Horrid dream. (Preview) Oh, just lol. After mentioning on Raven's post that I'd go to bed and focus on making a gratitude list instead of thinking angry thoughts about the A, I did so. My list went something like this. 1) I'm grateful that the A got angry and locked himself in his own room because he's snoring so loudly the walls a...	Melly1248	4	281	Oct 30, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Don't Understand the Timing (Preview) Remember me? I haven't posted for a little while but I've been reading and kerping up with everyone. Need some MIP clarity. I left the AH a year ago in August. This August was looming large for him because he knew I was going to file for divorce the day I could. He was ordered in July to install an ignition lo...	wornoutmrsfixit	9	429	Oct 30, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	Personal growth (Preview) Having co-dependency means that, at some point, I completely lost myself in another person - a person that happened to be an alcoholic. That means that for that entire decade there was a whirlwind of chaos, emotional breaking, depression, and anxiety. I had no boundaries. I said I wouldn't accept...	SpiderArcana	9	578	Oct 29, 2013 by SpiderArcana
	Relaxation music (Preview) Here is a relaxation track I found that is much more soothing than listening to the A shout and bang things around when he is drunk. I hope it helps others as much as it has helped me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e59guruVL4o	Melly1248	5	311	Oct 29, 2013 by Melly1248
	Am I ready or not (Preview) Blessed Sunday everyone I'm sitting here right now looking at my SO asleep on the chair. Yesterday he slept all day and now today he will. He doesn't help around here just works, eats and sleeps. I'm so ready to move on and I want so bad to just wake him up and tell him but I know it's not a good time. I'm not...	Cathyinaz	19	653	Oct 29, 2013 by el-cee
	catchin' up(still pain) (Preview) I am still in pain but i want to catch up w/ and to all of you! Up to speed: I had 2 massages last week & discovered it is massage therapy & somewhat painful but it is helping! I haven't been back to the chiropractor since I last posted. Don't plan to either. My husband puts a special salve I guess on my...	Hoot Nanny	4	212	Oct 29, 2013 by el-cee
	Gratitude (Preview) Today when I woke up, I immediately began to feel angry. I was angry because I slept late, and I had things I wanted to do, things I Had To Do, and it's my day off, and I'm already not enjoying it. I felt stressed, since ABF was getting drunk and high all last night, and I could hear him banging around in the kit...	Raven Juniper	12	486	Oct 29, 2013 by Melly1248
	ACOA Shut down (Preview) MY ACOA double winner BF - clean for 12 years, works the program - has just had a complete shutdown.i We had a great relationship, had a fight and he shut down, asked for space, I had issues giving it to him and we argued, I pushed him to dump me. He said he doesn't know what happened but he doesn't feel the s...	Grumble	4	673	Oct 29, 2013 by Grumble
	4 days (Preview) Good Morning 4 days my son has been out of rehab. Text him to say HI and how his new place was. Called got voice mail..... No response for two days. OH WELL Let go Let God........	Cathyinaz	17	520	Oct 29, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Lost in the corn field (Preview) My current avatar reminds me that sometimes I feel like I'm lost in a corn field. I have 2 choices. I can panic or use the brain I have been given to calmly assess the situation and decide to save my energy to finding my way out. After wandering around for a lengthy period of time I become tired and frustra...	Mari1978	7	550	Oct 29, 2013 by grateful2be
	Don't know how to feel. (Preview) So my son is talking to his baby's momma and I feel nothing but tension between he and I.. This past Sunday he has made me feel horrible. He says he us stressed out. Well gosh knows what she is saying to him because he doesn't open up to me. When I call him I feel like nothing but his punching bag. As a mother I wo...	Gaby	6	251	Oct 29, 2013 by Rose50
	difficulty with self-care (Preview) This past Wednesday, my Dad told me that he may go to a step down unit on Thursday. He is exhausted from lack of sleep that comes with the territory of being in a hospital- that -combined with his stroke affected speech - truly limits how he can express himself. I told him that it was a real treat for me to h...	bud	13	512	Oct 29, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Year old relationship with three and half year member (Preview) Hi. I am new to this board. Fairly new to learning about alcoholism and all that surrounds it. While I had an uncle and an older brother who were both alcoholic, I wasn't around either before they cleaned themselves up. The uncle has passed and my brother and I are almost twenty years apart so we were neve...	safehaven	10	365	Oct 28, 2013 by safehaven
	Positive thought for the Day (Preview) I have found this to be so true	hotrod	12	411	Oct 28, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	From the outside - Looking In (Preview) So as many of you probably remember my AH filed for divorce in July. Through alanon I detached because really I had no other choice. Seems my detachment escalated his disease and the verbal abuse and anger was off the charts. I do believe my HP took the controls out of my hand because I struggled for y...	Milehi-tlc	6	305	Oct 28, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Getting frustrated!!!! :) (Preview) Does anyone know how I can find a list of meetings in my area? I have left 3 messages for the Rochester NY al Anon group and emailed a few times and nothing back. I looked around online but it keeps taking my back to their phone and email address. All I want is to find a face to face ad getting a little nervous...	Iwantthingsback	22	693	Oct 28, 2013 by hotrod
	AH coming home tonight (Preview) Hi everyone, AH has been gone in St Thomas for his sales incentive trip for the past week. I chose not to go for many reasons, including the fact that my mom couldn't fly out to watch our son. Anyway, I am nervous about his homecoming. It's been such a peaceful week, the TV has barely been on, we got lots o...	ilovedogs	13	433	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Stuggling with Nightmare's any ideas... (Preview) Hello everyone just wanted to see what others have done with nightmares. I have been pretty freaked out by some lately. Tried telling myself I am ok... but it seemed so real...(freaked me out bad enough could go back to sleep last night) and the feelings have hung with me all day. Any ideas, techniques...	stilllearning	10	285	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Slipped (Preview) Everything was going so well. Then I slipped back into my old ways. I snooped, looking for things I already knew but didn't want to find. I snapped and started an argument. After months of doing so well, there we were right back in our old roles. I was screaming, he was threatening to go to a bar. Fortunate...	ParisMemories	9	399	Oct 28, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	The Shoebox (a Sunday funny, don't we all love the Sunday funnies?) (Preview) THE SHOEBOX A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her abou...	likemyheart	9	402	Oct 28, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Dishonest to make one self better (Preview) I must say I am glad I'm reading and learning how to stay out of the way of things that can take me off my way to recovery . I have seen a post that was sent to me enormously and it's quite upsetting knowing that my A is telling false truth. He not being honest at all .and I can see how ppl have to look at it and respo...	Ms co-dependent	7	401	Oct 28, 2013 by PP
	Willingness can go a LONG way (Preview) Being agnostic about creator's involvement in my life has caused me much sorrow...like i was missing something...robbed of it and , i know, it goes waaay back to as a child when the abuser would tell me he was "doing this to me b/c god told him to teach me about sex"that wasn't the biginning...	neshema2	5	263	Oct 28, 2013 by 1911A1
	Detach with love.. (Preview) Hello every one. As I have shared my son has been home after being in a Christian base rehab going on 5 1/2 months completely clean from all and working his program. He has a job now that he truly enjoys and I have to admit he has been doing really good. He and a female roommate live in our rental just a few hous...	Gaby	2	265	Oct 28, 2013 by milkwood
	Introducing myself (Preview) This is my first post here. i am living with an AH and I am miserable. We been having marital problems for almost 2 years. Tried counseling, only made it worse. I have tried to leave twice. Both times I get the "I will change, my family is so important to me. Or even worse he threatens to kill himself an...	Dawn14	8	282	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Perfectionism (Preview) Hi y'all. Today my new therapist pointed out that I had a lot of perfectionism. (I told her I want the truth). I agree. Then I opened up Courage To Change and whaddya know! It said that we develop perfectionism to cope with blame and criticism growing up. As many of you know my situation with the famil...	WorkingThroughIt	10	513	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	So scared (Preview) I love my husband so much & i fear for his life. He's drinking 12-14 or more shots of vodka per night plus beer and now I've also been finding canned air duster cans everywhere. A couple months ago I found him passed out in his car with it running & a bottle of canned air in his hand. I'm so afraid t...	swood31	8	356	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Question about enabling (Preview) Hi all, I'm new to this site and pretty new to al-anon. My boyfriend is my qualifier, and when he drinks, he tends to injure himself, sometimes pretty severely. It's never been to the point of having to go to the emergency room (at least not since I have known him) but enough that he is visibly in a lot of p...	KiaOra	11	523	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Happy,sad,angry,confused, Sunday (Preview) Good morning . Well afternoon since the days are all the same to me . I find Sunday is the only day I can remember I think it's because that's when the crazyness starts. But today my plans my goal is to replace my bad Sunday with good Sunday . I find that's when I'm totally confused and scared because it's mee...	Ms co-dependent	8	488	Oct 28, 2013 by pinkchip
	Hi Everyone! (Preview) This post is for both newcomers and oldtimers. I want all newcomers to know that although you might not see or feel it right now, things will get better. You are in the process of getting better yourself. Stay close, to us here, get to as many face to face meetings as you can in your community, try to fin...	John	11	471	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Thurday was simple (Preview) Hi everyone Thursday went good without fear. I picked up my son and we went to the place where he would stay. He like it and signed up to live there. It's close to the rehab where he still can go back to for meetings, counseling and support he needs. If that happens only God knows. This place is a transi...	Cathyinaz	16	425	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Can I just scream? (Preview) Well ha ha joke is on me. I thought I had messed up the other. Boy was I ever wrong. I mean, I was pretty rude but I no longer care about that. Today was an eventful day. Went to a birthday party for my best friend. Husband got extremely intoxicated. A different friend drove us home. Husband left a card for...	Bobbi	8	435	Oct 27, 2013 by Bobbi
	validation of action (Preview) It has been a very long time since I last visited this board. My life is like no other. My life is a bit different than most. Please give me the benefit of doubt until you get to know me some. Right now I so would like to be rid of some guilt. I born into a family that was going to have four boys and three girl...	richard	6	351	Oct 27, 2013 by bud
	Need prayer! (Preview) I've a feeling everybody is happy and going on with their life, except me. My a/a daugther is not answering her door, her phone and is off face book for about a week. Her brother said she is alright where ever she is, her adult son said he was tired of trying to check up on her and let his other brother go b...	Highlyfavored	4	263	Oct 27, 2013 by grateful2be
	That's Why I'm Here... (Preview) So I'm new, and I don't know any of you. Last weekend, my ex-husband told me his girlfriend was moving out, and he cried and cried. He finally realized the damage his drinking has done to those he loves the most. Thankfully, he drinks alone or at home when the children are asleep and stays sober at work (I t...	kickstart77	13	392	Oct 27, 2013 by kickstart77
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.