Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Gaby · Gaby

I am in full force fear.. But I understand I am powerless. My husband and I stayed the night just to make sure that he will be ok through out the night being that he hit tile with his head. He stayed in bed most of the day. When he woke up and was cohirent. He asked me what happened. I had to really refrain myself...

flinn66 · flinn66

Just sitting quietly today and reflecting, meditating and in contact with my HP. I don't know if this is others' experience but it came to me that since joining Al-Anon some years ago I became very involved with Service, I think maybe as a diversion from living with an active A. It did help, it gave me a di...

CoachPapa · CoachPapa

Slogans in a Poem by Coach PapaFirst Things First - I have heard it said - Be Honest With yourself, - get out of your head - You can Feel Good -About Saying "No" - Keep Coming Back to - Talk And Grow - Easy Does It - sounds real nice - If you Keep It Simple - you don't roll the dice - Live And Let Live - Bri...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I did something tonight that I don't often do. I called a group I meet with for book discussion and begged off meeting. I was honest about it. I feel empty/emotionally and mentally fatigued. I love our small group of ladies. I love the dynamics of our group. It's not an Al-Anon group though. Funn...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

Invited the AH over to watch a movie tonight. No big deal. We have been friendly and gone to church a few times with the kids during his 4 months of sobriety. We have had a nice time and he has fixed dinner for everyone but I haven't accepted his offers of going out. I can pretty much take him or leave him so he...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

http://books.google.ca/books?id=h-jQ_1vF-VQC&pg=PA230&lpg=PA230&dq=acoa+forming+healthy+relationships&source=bl&ots=64oi1IZdou&;...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

HI all.... so I made an appointment to go back on anti-depressants, so I feel I am letting myself down and as strong as I have become and thought I was, I am not. I kicked depression in the BUTT a long long time ago AND have been able to pull out of it after a couple days when it would surface. This took years of p...

mm830 · mm830

Good morning. Today I am going to accept what is, try my best not to judge it or make crazy attempts to control it. Just accept it. It's not the easiest thing to take the rose colored glasses off but until that happens I live in denial and lie to myself that its not really what it is. And I am not going to fight a...

farmerswife · farmerswife

Well I completed step 1. It was harder than I thought I never thought I had any control over my A, but I realized I was trying to control some aspects of his illness without even knowing I was doing it and I was trying to control many other things in life by trying to influence others decisions. Admitting...

Tricia911 · Tricia911

I grope around in the dark for the light switch that will illuminate unconditional love within myself.Butting my head against the struggle to surrender.It Feels as if my journey may be long and painful,with a bit of stumbling and falling, before I find myself on the proper path to enlightenment.My s...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Hello today is ok , I have taken a break from my Alaon books and find that I can't stay focus on my self . I don't focus on the A anymore that became old hat. My focus is now on my children and there behavior . I find myself wanting to change them but not fix them. I need to know about alateen . I looked on the board a...

islandtime · islandtime

for some reasen when I click on the link, for the 12 steps, nothing happens. Anybody know what the problem might be? I have gotten on there other times with no problem. Thanks

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Good afternoon well I have to say 7 months ago I was a very co dependent problem . I did everything for everyone and never seen it to be wrong . Today I guess I'm selfish . I cook and clean and pick up my own mess and the kids mess but not the husbands mess . I have noticed he been leaving things around to see if I wi...

Lyne · Lyne

I am working on step 4 with my sponsor and find this to be a very difficult but interesting experience. There are 2 people I carry anger, resentment, and fear toward, and one person anger and resentment for. I am finally able to want to get rid of all of this "junk". In the past, I have been af...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

My recovering abf invited me to his meeting this week. He was receiving his two year chip. This was my first time at the meeting. It's an open one but I've really never had any interest in going with him. I have my own program and my own meetings and I'm glad to have the house to myself while he's gone. You k...

Hopeful925 · Hopeful925

I sure could use support right now to stop the reeling in my head....Last time I posted, my ABF was involuntarily committed to a treatment center in June after 12 unsuccessful detoxes/rehabs in 18 mos. The one new addition to his plan which seemed to help was Naltrexone which he took x 3 mos. Prior to th...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Today was the first truly warm, summery evening of the year. My daughter's friend comes here on Wednesday afternoons whilst her mum is at work and usually I have dinner waiting for all of us when she comes to collect her child. But tonight she called on her way here- would I like to grab some takeaway and e...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, I am wondering how many meetings you go to in a week? There was a time when I would sometimes hit 4 meetings a week. I tried keeping that up but I found myself constantly looking at my watch and sigh'ing to myself wanting it to just end because it was so redundant. I found I was hearing a lot of the...

Gaby · Gaby

I'm so numb right now.. My son was doing so well.. N it happened my worst nightmare.. My son went to chair a meeting yesterday and something happened where he came home and after 5 months and 28 days clean. He relapsed ;( his roommate called me saying that my son is very sick and he has been in the bathroom fo...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am constantly being critical or over-analyzing myself these days. I am stuck in a muck. I have no business staying here. It doesn't feel comfortable at all. Ever since my mom came home, I have felt more insecure. My life is troubling me so much that I am unable to let go of the past & my difficult memo...

maryjane · maryjane

Last night was our AlAnon Information Services annual gratitude banquet. We had a young lady, age 20, just graduated from AlaTeen to AlAnon for our speaker. She started AlaTeen when she was 13. She know the steps. She really works the program. It was a lovely, lovely talk. In part of her talk was a...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. My dad is home for the weekend. I spent some time with him today. He went on one of his rants advising me not to trust anyone in this world and that eveyone's out to screw you over. It was extremelly depressing and it honnestly felt li...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

Alanon Family, This week has taught me a lot about myself and I can see how much I have grown through recovery! It's a joyous blessing. Earlier this week I came on the board with a concern about how much my partner was working and how much it bothered me. Since then, I really was able to step back and eval...

gingerfizz · gingerfizz

Someone I know is having issues in her marriage and a really really hard time coping with her husband's issues with internet porn. I found resources for her at http://www.cosa-recovery.org/index.html and http://www.sanon.org/index.html, but there are no meetings in our area and those site...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Whatever you let in your mind usually stays in your mind I heard recently. It is a shame that some things never go away. I have memories of crap that I try to let go of but they never really leave. Bad experiences can really taint the way you feel about life & how you live your life. I am totally for this ph...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Some of the other posts got me thinking. I know that in the end there is really only 1 type of drunk even though we attach other labels to them. Personally, I was an overdramatic, crying sloppy drunk (and goofy and fun I guess on the way up to getting to that point). My ex-A however, was goofy and fun on th...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

I dont know. I guess I will find out. If it helps one person, great. My best friend asked me today, if Tom and I ever split up would I ever date another A? I said NO WAY - NO HOW. So she asked me: what if this new person didnt tell you and you didnt know until I was already involved, living with him and in love? (...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

I have been attending Al-anon meetings and they are really helpful, well, my AH found out that it is an open meeting so he figures he can attend. I asked my group and they said it is a bad idea at this stage, he is trying (I think) to stop drinking and is in therapy but he is now trying to control me and mani...

DavidG · DavidG

Sometime soon I will have bin in Alanon for half of my life... 31 years... a long time. I slept through 6 or 8 of those years... I was out of my wits for most of those years... but I kept coming back... and our higher power kept pouring love all over me... all I had to do was to sit down, open my mouth and suck it...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

Well I am thinking a lot.....about how I can explain my life with my alcoholic (mostly to myself)..........It starts with getting a puppy, you fall head over heels in love with this thing even though it is hard (it pees on the floor, it does inappropriate things, it keeps you up all night for no reason,...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I hope everyone has a very blessed day today and a beautiful weekend. No matter what is going on in our lives, we still have the right to be happy and to experience peace and joy and serenity. For many years, I was happy but it was a happiness that was in denial. I was in 'pretend' land, where abuse was OK a...

Catherine Kitzmiller · Catherine Kitzmiller

I am new to the group and wanted to share. I grew up with my mothers alcoholism and Saturday night I finally had enough and it was worse than usual. I ended up in the ER and no one understands. All of my family thinks I am insane now and no one understands. I wrote a few blogs about my life but I am not finished an...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning I'm going to the River for Thanksgiving week. I going to go visit my sister and have a great time. I told my SO and he was fine with it. lol I'm going to be staying at a beautiful home, go boating, swimming, gambling, dining out and helping to prepare a fantastic Thanksgiving meal. I will...

joker · joker

I am having a melt down! I have court Dec 16 for severe abuse by the ex- alcoholic bf and today, I am having memories of the abuse comming back to me at an alarming rate and I can not stop crying! I had been doing so well, going for therapy and seeing my phycatrist and getting so strong, and now I am a pudd...

Somerset25 · Somerset25

As I wrote about over the last couple of days, I've found out that my 7-months sober wife is having an affair with a long-time sober member of her AA group. It's mostly been an emotional affair (texting, flirting, etc.) but they have kissed on at least two occasions that I know about. Despite all the BS, I...

abbyalana · abbyalana

My SIL is a great enabler and drama queen and my nieces are drama queens too. I have a 13 year old, my brother got custody of his now 14 years old (last year) from her severly addicted mother. The 14 year thrives and lives on drama and chaos and tends to hang with the bottom feeders. My 13 year old does not...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I too am struggling with the "no expectations". Nothing has changed in 7 years; he doesn't lift a finger to do anything at all, but I no longer fight, or ask him more than once. Or, recently, at all. It's pointless, it's frustrating and I end up angry when he makes promises and doesn't keep the...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

lol. Abf was in a nice mood when I got home from the beach this evening and asked me if I would like to watch a movie with him, one that he has been "looking forward to watching with me". Well, I tried, but it was 3 hours long and a movie about a bunch of horrible drug-addicts shouting rude things ab...

Jozie · Jozie

Good Morning, Afternoon & Evenning Peeps :) So Much Whirling Going on Around me Recently, that sometimes its Hard to Keep my Head up, but Thanks Goodness, I Don't have to be In Charge & HP Can Be! I Recently Found out that My Dearest of Aunts Has Cancer :( I have Already Lost So Many to this Disease...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

Today is important because we are exchanging a day of our life for it. Let us leave behind something good. -- Edited by Mari1978 on Wednesday 6th of November 2013 09:50:14 PM

mm830 · mm830

I had the strangest feeling tonight to go outside. There is a long story there but short version we used to hang out outside, laugh, talk, drink beer, as in a normal amount, just be us. After the ASO started drinking a lot as in 12-18 a night and I started codependant behavior I remember him telling me some...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Hello everyone, I would like to ask for ESH from those of you who have parted ways with your (non-violent) A partner. What became the breaking point, how did it come about, etc...? I guess I'm looking for some inspiration to help me move on to the next step. Thank you :)

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

So I cancelled our couple therapy appointment for tomorrow (I am still going but he is not invited). Reason being, I told him 2 weeks ago if he didnt do some of the things we were asked to do and participate, I was going alone next time. He doesnt really do anything with the homework and we are not getting wh...

canadianguy · canadianguy

There have been a ton of posts on here recently, with members struggling with trying to please / rationalize / understand the workings of their active A's.... I offer a gentle reminder of the infamous egg story.... The wonderful wife of an active A decides she wants to please her husband, so she gets up...

farmerswife · farmerswife

Hi, I'm new here and I'm here because I am lost. I've never been an addict but my life has always involved one. My father was an alcoholic, my first 2 husbands were abusive alcoholics and my current husband is in rehab. We been together 10 years he has battled this demon his entire life. I knew he was recove...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Hello I am bitter tonight . My 1 year husband told me a lot tonight . A lot of crap . How Alaon teaching is wrong !! How I do not show any improvement . How I became a b*** because of Alaon teaching . I did what I could do with the tools of Alaon to focus on me and not the alcoholic and not to let him get in my way of rec...

Gaby · Gaby

So today my son that is out of recovery his Sponser calls me and tells me that he thinks my son will fall back to what he was doing.. As most of you know my son is a addict and came out of recovery early October. He said the reason he feels this way is because my son is not doing as he tells him to do and he feels that...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, Not sure how many of you follow the news but the mayor of Toronto Rob Ford, has been caught several times with drugs, intoxicated in public, and acting lewdly. Living in the area, It's amazing to see the constant empty apologies, the 'let's forget it and just move on' rhetoric, and the mani...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

MIP-ers, Thank you all so much for responding to my last post (brief recap: feeling lonely because my partner is super busy). It truly was helpful to hear your feedback and I am implementing the feedback and suggestions. It helps tremendously not to feel alone. Here are some things I am doing to chan...

joker · joker

Since my last post, I have moved to my own place and the alcoholic ex-bf is still in jail. I have been served and I am to attend court for his abuse toward me. In addition to moving to my own place, I am filled with additional stress, of dealing with my older sister, an active alcoholic, love affair. A ye...

Somerset25 · Somerset25

My wife is my qualifier and I'm pretty new to Al Anon. I've been having a very hard time dealing with our "situation" the last couple of days. My wife is seven months sober and in AA, regularly attending meetings with her sponsor. I found out a couple of weeks ago that she has been having an emot...

PIK · PIK

As a fairly new member of Alanon, I am struggling with the concept of limiting our expectations. My qualifier is 27 years sober, so I do not have to deal with the pain of having an active drinker as a partner. However, our relationship and both of our behaviors are very typical of the Alcoholic (him) and...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

My days off have been seemingly uneventful and my judgemental side would say "wasted." Laundry didn't get done. The floors are still dirty. The vacuum is still broke; ABF didn't try to fix it as he'd promised, and I didn't stress over it. It's getting cold and the thermostat for the heater i...

Venera · Venera

I lost all my temper today, I yelled at my AH like a crazy person, and he kept calmly telling me that I am crazy, and other mean things like i am cheap, vulgar, etc.. I was going really wild, i feel bad for doing it to myself, but i feel a relief. But i felt trapped again, i cant sleep in my own bed again, and i am t...

angellerose · angellerose

Thank you to those who responded to my question. I really appreciate everything that you have said, and am taking it and applying it to my life. It really means a whole lot to me. I was able to resonate with a lot of the things that were shared. I have attended one alanon meeting, I was feeling quite despera...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

I am smart . I feel healthy . I'm trying my best . We can't turn the heat up because of the spouse not working. Comes upstairs and want to fight about I'm lazy I best get a Job I'm again non supported wife I am now a self Alaon loser . Sent me mutiple texts and when did not answer them he threaten to break door down...

ryanhearted · ryanhearted

Well, yes, again. My AH cant seem to do anything with others from his work. I realize that he tried and succeeded in not drinking at the beginning of the month when he went to science camp with his coworkers, but this one night seminar this weekend was just too much I guess. My concern is that he drove with o...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I really wish I had more time to reflect & read more posts. I seem to run out of time before I am truly done. I am still a work in progress. You are all important to me & I value each soul who gets on here. I guess I am a little bit anxious. Maybe it is because I run out of time. I am so sorry that I can't alway...

neshema2 · neshema2

WEll, I have been trying to make amends with/ re-connect wmy Higher Power....or more truthfully connect w/him, really, intimately, for the FIRST time...since then, the step 3, thing, I have been under MAJOR attack.....satan is creating havoc in my life...When i told HP I do NOT WANT TO BE AGNOSTIC A...

Venera · Venera

Please somebody help me! What can I do now? My husband left on sunday to a hotel where he was going to drink after drinking on Saturday. He ususally takes 5 days drinking and then starts functioning again. Saturday night he was watching tv till 4 am, i couldnt sleep, I have a 3 week old baby which i have to fe...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Update on my son.. (Preview) I am in full force fear.. But I understand I am powerless. My husband and I stayed the night just to make sure that he will be ok through out the night being that he hit tile with his head. He stayed in bed most of the day. When he woke up and was cohirent. He asked me what happened. I had to really refrain myself...	Gaby	3	271	Nov 12, 2013 by el-cee
	When I got busy I got better? (Preview) Just sitting quietly today and reflecting, meditating and in contact with my HP. I don't know if this is others' experience but it came to me that since joining Al-Anon some years ago I became very involved with Service, I think maybe as a diversion from living with an active A. It did help, it gave me a di...	flinn66	4	3495	Nov 12, 2013 by el-cee
	Al-Anon Slogans in a Poem - By Coach Papa (Preview) Slogans in a Poem by Coach PapaFirst Things First - I have heard it said - Be Honest With yourself, - get out of your head - You can Feel Good -About Saying "No" - Keep Coming Back to - Talk And Grow - Easy Does It - sounds real nice - If you Keep It Simple - you don't roll the dice - Live And Let Live - Bri...	CoachPapa	2	630	Nov 11, 2013 by Peggy7
	Emptiness (Preview) I did something tonight that I don't often do. I called a group I meet with for book discussion and begged off meeting. I was honest about it. I feel empty/emotionally and mentally fatigued. I love our small group of ladies. I love the dynamics of our group. It's not an Al-Anon group though. Funn...	grateful2be	21	646	Nov 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	Worst "Date" Ever (Preview) Invited the AH over to watch a movie tonight. No big deal. We have been friendly and gone to church a few times with the kids during his 4 months of sobriety. We have had a nice time and he has fixed dinner for everyone but I haven't accepted his offers of going out. I can pretty much take him or leave him so he...	wornoutmrsfixit	15	670	Nov 11, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	Has anyone read this book? (Preview) http://books.google.ca/books?id=h-jQ_1vF-VQC&pg=PA230&lpg=PA230&dq=acoa+forming+healthy+relationships&source=bl&ots=64oi1IZdou&;...	slogan_jim	3	342	Nov 11, 2013 by afglin
	Not doing well today (Preview) HI all.... so I made an appointment to go back on anti-depressants, so I feel I am letting myself down and as strong as I have become and thought I was, I am not. I kicked depression in the BUTT a long long time ago AND have been able to pull out of it after a couple days when it would surface. This took years of p...	Iwantthingsback	19	600	Nov 11, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Acceptance (Preview) Good morning. Today I am going to accept what is, try my best not to judge it or make crazy attempts to control it. Just accept it. It's not the easiest thing to take the rose colored glasses off but until that happens I live in denial and lie to myself that its not really what it is. And I am not going to fight a...	mm830	8	596	Nov 11, 2013 by flinn66
	steps? (Preview) Well I completed step 1. It was harder than I thought I never thought I had any control over my A, but I realized I was trying to control some aspects of his illness without even knowing I was doing it and I was trying to control many other things in life by trying to influence others decisions. Admitting...	farmerswife	6	470	Nov 11, 2013 by flinn66
	Journal Entry - I shared this entry in a meeting and was asked to share it here on the board. I pray it blesses another. unconditional love love struggle surrender worthy journey (Preview) I grope around in the dark for the light switch that will illuminate unconditional love within myself.Butting my head against the struggle to surrender.It Feels as if my journey may be long and painful,with a bit of stumbling and falling, before I find myself on the proper path to enlightenment.My s...	Tricia911	6	8149	Nov 11, 2013 by Peggy7
	Looking for alateen (Preview) Hello today is ok , I have taken a break from my Alaon books and find that I can't stay focus on my self . I don't focus on the A anymore that became old hat. My focus is now on my children and there behavior . I find myself wanting to change them but not fix them. I need to know about alateen . I looked on the board a...	Wisdom67	5	206	Nov 11, 2013 by abbyal
	can't get on the step board...HELP Please (Preview) for some reasen when I click on the link, for the 12 steps, nothing happens. Anybody know what the problem might be? I have gotten on there other times with no problem. Thanks	islandtime	1	211	Nov 11, 2013 by hotrod
	Am I being selfish? (Preview) Good afternoon well I have to say 7 months ago I was a very co dependent problem . I did everything for everyone and never seen it to be wrong . Today I guess I'm selfish . I cook and clean and pick up my own mess and the kids mess but not the husbands mess . I have noticed he been leaving things around to see if I wi...	Wisdom67	8	431	Nov 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	step 4 (Preview) I am working on step 4 with my sponsor and find this to be a very difficult but interesting experience. There are 2 people I carry anger, resentment, and fear toward, and one person anger and resentment for. I am finally able to want to get rid of all of this "junk". In the past, I have been af...	Lyne	3	355	Nov 11, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Attended Open AA for his Sober Anniversary (Preview) My recovering abf invited me to his meeting this week. He was receiving his two year chip. This was my first time at the meeting. It's an open one but I've really never had any interest in going with him. I have my own program and my own meetings and I'm glad to have the house to myself while he's gone. You k...	tiredtonite	8	391	Nov 11, 2013 by tiredtonite
	5 months sober...and down the tubes in 5 days...Help! (Preview) I sure could use support right now to stop the reeling in my head....Last time I posted, my ABF was involuntarily committed to a treatment center in June after 12 unsuccessful detoxes/rehabs in 18 mos. The one new addition to his plan which seemed to help was Naltrexone which he took x 3 mos. Prior to th...	Hopeful925	6	519	Nov 11, 2013 by Hopeful925
	Why I love where i live :-) (Preview) Today was the first truly warm, summery evening of the year. My daughter's friend comes here on Wednesday afternoons whilst her mum is at work and usually I have dinner waiting for all of us when she comes to collect her child. But tonight she called on her way here- would I like to grab some takeaway and e...	Melly1248	9	476	Nov 11, 2013 by maryjane
	How many meetings do you attend in a week (Preview) Hi everyone, I am wondering how many meetings you go to in a week? There was a time when I would sometimes hit 4 meetings a week. I tried keeping that up but I found myself constantly looking at my watch and sigh'ing to myself wanting it to just end because it was so redundant. I found I was hearing a lot of the...	slogan_jim	10	1110	Nov 10, 2013 by Tricia911
	It happened !!! (Preview) I'm so numb right now.. My son was doing so well.. N it happened my worst nightmare.. My son went to chair a meeting yesterday and something happened where he came home and after 5 months and 28 days clean. He relapsed ;( his roommate called me saying that my son is very sick and he has been in the bathroom fo...	Gaby	8	548	Nov 10, 2013 by el-cee
	is there something wrong or different about me? (Preview) I am constantly being critical or over-analyzing myself these days. I am stuck in a muck. I have no business staying here. It doesn't feel comfortable at all. Ever since my mom came home, I have felt more insecure. My life is troubling me so much that I am unable to let go of the past & my difficult memo...	Hoot Nanny	6	341	Nov 10, 2013 by PP
	Out of the mouths of babes....... (Preview) Last night was our AlAnon Information Services annual gratitude banquet. We had a young lady, age 20, just graduated from AlaTeen to AlAnon for our speaker. She started AlaTeen when she was 13. She know the steps. She really works the program. It was a lovely, lovely talk. In part of her talk was a...	maryjane	8	544	Nov 10, 2013 by Jerry F
	Feeling Bitter (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. My dad is home for the weekend. I spent some time with him today. He went on one of his rants advising me not to trust anyone in this world and that eveyone's out to screw you over. It was extremelly depressing and it honnestly felt li...	slogan_jim	2	364	Nov 10, 2013 by bud
	Learning How To Grow (Preview) Alanon Family, This week has taught me a lot about myself and I can see how much I have grown through recovery! It's a joyous blessing. Earlier this week I came on the board with a concern about how much my partner was working and how much it bothered me. Since then, I really was able to step back and eval...	BlueCloud	4	281	Nov 10, 2013 by mm830
	Spouse of porn addict welcome at Al-Anon? (Preview) Someone I know is having issues in her marriage and a really really hard time coping with her husband's issues with internet porn. I found resources for her at http://www.cosa-recovery.org/index.html and http://www.sanon.org/index.html, but there are no meetings in our area and those site...	gingerfizz	14	3909	Nov 9, 2013 by maryjane
	whatever you let in your mind... (Preview) Whatever you let in your mind usually stays in your mind I heard recently. It is a shame that some things never go away. I have memories of crap that I try to let go of but they never really leave. Bad experiences can really taint the way you feel about life & how you live your life. I am totally for this ph...	Hoot Nanny	6	514	Nov 9, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Mean drunks (Preview) Some of the other posts got me thinking. I know that in the end there is really only 1 type of drunk even though we attach other labels to them. Personally, I was an overdramatic, crying sloppy drunk (and goofy and fun I guess on the way up to getting to that point). My ex-A however, was goofy and fun on th...	pinkchip	20	946	Nov 9, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	This may be an unethical, non Al anon share… (Preview) I dont know. I guess I will find out. If it helps one person, great. My best friend asked me today, if Tom and I ever split up would I ever date another A? I said NO WAY - NO HOW. So she asked me: what if this new person didnt tell you and you didnt know until I was already involved, living with him and in love? (...	Iwantthingsback	9	633	Nov 9, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	My AH wants to go to Al-anon meetings with me?! (Preview) I have been attending Al-anon meetings and they are really helpful, well, my AH found out that it is an open meeting so he figures he can attend. I asked my group and they said it is a bad idea at this stage, he is trying (I think) to stop drinking and is in therapy but he is now trying to control me and mani...	jillybean1	17	1182	Nov 9, 2013 by Wisdom67
	Half way on in Alanon... (Preview) Sometime soon I will have bin in Alanon for half of my life... 31 years... a long time. I slept through 6 or 8 of those years... I was out of my wits for most of those years... but I kept coming back... and our higher power kept pouring love all over me... all I had to do was to sit down, open my mouth and suck it...	DavidG	9	378	Nov 9, 2013 by Jerry F
	A puppy analogy (Preview) Well I am thinking a lot.....about how I can explain my life with my alcoholic (mostly to myself)..........It starts with getting a puppy, you fall head over heels in love with this thing even though it is hard (it pees on the floor, it does inappropriate things, it keeps you up all night for no reason,...	jillybean1	7	525	Nov 9, 2013 by hotrod
	Feeling joyful today (Preview) I hope everyone has a very blessed day today and a beautiful weekend. No matter what is going on in our lives, we still have the right to be happy and to experience peace and joy and serenity. For many years, I was happy but it was a happiness that was in denial. I was in 'pretend' land, where abuse was OK a...	ilovedogs	7	486	Nov 9, 2013 by hotrod
	New to the group and wanted to share. (Preview) I am new to the group and wanted to share. I grew up with my mothers alcoholism and Saturday night I finally had enough and it was worse than usual. I ended up in the ER and no one understands. All of my family thinks I am insane now and no one understands. I wrote a few blogs about my life but I am not finished an...	Catherine Kitzmiller	10	597	Nov 9, 2013 by wp
	I'm so Excited (Preview) Good Morning I'm going to the River for Thanksgiving week. I going to go visit my sister and have a great time. I told my SO and he was fine with it. lol I'm going to be staying at a beautiful home, go boating, swimming, gambling, dining out and helping to prepare a fantastic Thanksgiving meal. I will...	Cathyinaz	19	595	Nov 8, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Having a hard day (Preview) I am having a melt down! I have court Dec 16 for severe abuse by the ex- alcoholic bf and today, I am having memories of the abuse comming back to me at an alarming rate and I can not stop crying! I had been doing so well, going for therapy and seeing my phycatrist and getting so strong, and now I am a pudd...	joker	8	547	Nov 8, 2013 by pinkchip
	Confused, Need Strength (Preview) As I wrote about over the last couple of days, I've found out that my 7-months sober wife is having an affair with a long-time sober member of her AA group. It's mostly been an emotional affair (texting, flirting, etc.) but they have kissed on at least two occasions that I know about. Despite all the BS, I...	Somerset25	14	591	Nov 8, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	How do you keep enablers at bay? (Preview) My SIL is a great enabler and drama queen and my nieces are drama queens too. I have a 13 year old, my brother got custody of his now 14 years old (last year) from her severly addicted mother. The 14 year thrives and lives on drama and chaos and tends to hang with the bottom feeders. My 13 year old does not...	abbyalana	8	454	Nov 8, 2013 by neshema2
	Also struggling with "no expectations" (Preview) I too am struggling with the "no expectations". Nothing has changed in 7 years; he doesn't lift a finger to do anything at all, but I no longer fight, or ask him more than once. Or, recently, at all. It's pointless, it's frustrating and I end up angry when he makes promises and doesn't keep the...	Melly1248	22	1487	Nov 7, 2013 by hotrod
	lol, huh? (Preview) lol. Abf was in a nice mood when I got home from the beach this evening and asked me if I would like to watch a movie with him, one that he has been "looking forward to watching with me". Well, I tried, but it was 3 hours long and a movie about a bunch of horrible drug-addicts shouting rude things ab...	Melly1248	14	638	Nov 7, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Choices, Chances & Change! (Preview) Good Morning, Afternoon & Evenning Peeps :) So Much Whirling Going on Around me Recently, that sometimes its Hard to Keep my Head up, but Thanks Goodness, I Don't have to be In Charge & HP Can Be! I Recently Found out that My Dearest of Aunts Has Cancer :( I have Already Lost So Many to this Disease...	Jozie	3	309	Nov 7, 2013 by PP
	Tomorrow (Preview) Today is important because we are exchanging a day of our life for it. Let us leave behind something good. -- Edited by Mari1978 on Wednesday 6th of November 2013 09:50:14 PM	Mari1978	3	430	Nov 7, 2013 by Jozie
	Strange epiphany (Preview) I had the strangest feeling tonight to go outside. There is a long story there but short version we used to hang out outside, laugh, talk, drink beer, as in a normal amount, just be us. After the ASO started drinking a lot as in 12-18 a night and I started codependant behavior I remember him telling me some...	mm830	12	464	Nov 7, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Cutting Bait (Preview) Hello everyone, I would like to ask for ESH from those of you who have parted ways with your (non-violent) A partner. What became the breaking point, how did it come about, etc...? I guess I'm looking for some inspiration to help me move on to the next step. Thank you :)	Raven Juniper	7	508	Nov 7, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	Back up plans, Boundary and Expectations (Preview) So I cancelled our couple therapy appointment for tomorrow (I am still going but he is not invited). Reason being, I told him 2 weeks ago if he didnt do some of the things we were asked to do and participate, I was going alone next time. He doesnt really do anything with the homework and we are not getting wh...	Iwantthingsback	11	671	Nov 7, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Pleasing an Active A... the egg story (Preview) There have been a ton of posts on here recently, with members struggling with trying to please / rationalize / understand the workings of their active A's.... I offer a gentle reminder of the infamous egg story.... The wonderful wife of an active A decides she wants to please her husband, so she gets up...	canadianguy	23	886	Nov 6, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Lost (Preview) Hi, I'm new here and I'm here because I am lost. I've never been an addict but my life has always involved one. My father was an alcoholic, my first 2 husbands were abusive alcoholics and my current husband is in rehab. We been together 10 years he has battled this demon his entire life. I knew he was recove...	farmerswife	11	505	Nov 6, 2013 by milkwood
	Is Alaon really teaching (Preview) Hello I am bitter tonight . My 1 year husband told me a lot tonight . A lot of crap . How Alaon teaching is wrong !! How I do not show any improvement . How I became a b*** because of Alaon teaching . I did what I could do with the tools of Alaon to focus on me and not the alcoholic and not to let him get in my way of rec...	Wisdom67	11	701	Nov 6, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Don't know how to feel about this.. (Preview) So today my son that is out of recovery his Sponser calls me and tells me that he thinks my son will fall back to what he was doing.. As most of you know my son is a addict and came out of recovery early October. He said the reason he feels this way is because my son is not doing as he tells him to do and he feels that...	Gaby	13	706	Nov 6, 2013 by Melly1248
	Active Alcoholism in the news. Right in front of a city! (Preview) Hi Everyone, Not sure how many of you follow the news but the mayor of Toronto Rob Ford, has been caught several times with drugs, intoxicated in public, and acting lewdly. Living in the area, It's amazing to see the constant empty apologies, the 'let's forget it and just move on' rhetoric, and the mani...	slogan_jim	6	529	Nov 6, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Change the Behavior, Change the Outcome (Preview) MIP-ers, Thank you all so much for responding to my last post (brief recap: feeling lonely because my partner is super busy). It truly was helpful to hear your feedback and I am implementing the feedback and suggestions. It helps tremendously not to feel alone. Here are some things I am doing to chan...	BlueCloud	12	782	Nov 6, 2013 by PIK
	Feeling off today (Preview) Since my last post, I have moved to my own place and the alcoholic ex-bf is still in jail. I have been served and I am to attend court for his abuse toward me. In addition to moving to my own place, I am filled with additional stress, of dealing with my older sister, an active alcoholic, love affair. A ye...	joker	2	264	Nov 6, 2013 by hotrod
	Having a very hard day (Preview) My wife is my qualifier and I'm pretty new to Al Anon. I've been having a very hard time dealing with our "situation" the last couple of days. My wife is seven months sober and in AA, regularly attending meetings with her sponsor. I found out a couple of weeks ago that she has been having an emot...	Somerset25	10	495	Nov 5, 2013 by grateful2be
	Struggling with the concept of "no expectations". Expections let-down feeling angry.... (Preview) As a fairly new member of Alanon, I am struggling with the concept of limiting our expectations. My qualifier is 27 years sober, so I do not have to deal with the pain of having an active drinker as a partner. However, our relationship and both of our behaviors are very typical of the Alcoholic (him) and...	PIK	24	573	Nov 5, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Baby steps to sanity :) (Preview) My days off have been seemingly uneventful and my judgemental side would say "wasted." Laundry didn't get done. The floors are still dirty. The vacuum is still broke; ABF didn't try to fix it as he'd promised, and I didn't stress over it. It's getting cold and the thermostat for the heater i...	Raven Juniper	2	308	Nov 5, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Lost it today (Preview) I lost all my temper today, I yelled at my AH like a crazy person, and he kept calmly telling me that I am crazy, and other mean things like i am cheap, vulgar, etc.. I was going really wild, i feel bad for doing it to myself, but i feel a relief. But i felt trapped again, i cant sleep in my own bed again, and i am t...	Venera	14	476	Nov 5, 2013 by Mari1978
	An Update and a Thank You (Preview) Thank you to those who responded to my question. I really appreciate everything that you have said, and am taking it and applying it to my life. It really means a whole lot to me. I was able to resonate with a lot of the things that were shared. I have attended one alanon meeting, I was feeling quite despera...	angellerose	2	399	Nov 5, 2013 by hotrod
	Poor behavior will not change (Preview) I am smart . I feel healthy . I'm trying my best . We can't turn the heat up because of the spouse not working. Comes upstairs and want to fight about I'm lazy I best get a Job I'm again non supported wife I am now a self Alaon loser . Sent me mutiple texts and when did not answer them he threaten to break door down...	Wisdom67	3	339	Nov 5, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	the relapse bandwagon..I am tired (Preview) Well, yes, again. My AH cant seem to do anything with others from his work. I realize that he tried and succeeded in not drinking at the beginning of the month when he went to science camp with his coworkers, but this one night seminar this weekend was just too much I guess. My concern is that he drove with o...	ryanhearted	7	498	Nov 5, 2013 by Ifnotforgrace
	wish I had more time... (Preview) I really wish I had more time to reflect & read more posts. I seem to run out of time before I am truly done. I am still a work in progress. You are all important to me & I value each soul who gets on here. I guess I am a little bit anxious. Maybe it is because I run out of time. I am so sorry that I can't alway...	Hoot Nanny	4	232	Nov 5, 2013 by ryanhearted
	**SPIRITUAL matter, I'll take ANY sincere prayer (Preview) WEll, I have been trying to make amends with/ re-connect wmy Higher Power....or more truthfully connect w/him, really, intimately, for the FIRST time...since then, the step 3, thing, I have been under MAJOR attack.....satan is creating havoc in my life...When i told HP I do NOT WANT TO BE AGNOSTIC A...	neshema2	8	442	Nov 5, 2013 by neshema2
	What to do? (Preview) Please somebody help me! What can I do now? My husband left on sunday to a hotel where he was going to drink after drinking on Saturday. He ususally takes 5 days drinking and then starts functioning again. Saturday night he was watching tv till 4 am, i couldnt sleep, I have a 3 week old baby which i have to fe...	Venera	7	675	Nov 5, 2013 by neshema2
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.