Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

needy · needy

My husband who was an alcoholic passed away and I went to a few meetings at Al-anon. It sure opened my eyes to how we survive by becoming an enabler. I admit being an enabler is part of me and I want to change. At work I have made changes to stop this behavior but at home I am having a more harder time. I fina...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I was thinking how just becuz we vent, hurt and say we feel so alone, does not mean we do not appreciate what we do have. Does not mean we don't realize others would love to have what we have. Just means we have that pain for whatever reason. To no longer be a part of anything I mean physically a part of, makes...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

I would like to ask for your ESH on boundaries, especially those of you who began setting boundaries late in the game, with an active A. For example, I had quit smoking several years ago, and asked my A to please refrain from smoking in the house. I had asked this when he moved in, then he began smoking in...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

I have to admit that I love and dread the holidays. Too many bad memories....and for the last 2 holiday seasons my A has added to the stress and dysfunction. I was determined not to let him have any impact on this year's festivities, but as of this posting, he still resides on the sofa, playing games on the...

Damselfly · Damselfly

Ok, here's my story. I've been married 22 years To my best friend. We have two young girls under 8yrs old. 2 1/2 years ago my dh started (what I would call) power drinking. And it hasn't stopped. He went deep. Drinking about a fifth of vodka and two bottles of wine a day. It's not at that level any more, but t...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Thank-you lovely people, for sitting with me through my misery attack the other night

I really, really do go loopy when daughter is away and it's just the silence and the mess and the awful reality!! I can't hide from it when she isn't here or pretend to be the "in control one" when he's loc...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Well it was a nice start to a nice weekend......and then the text came in from my son. I guess he is sobering up. I now recognize the manipulations. Starts out with HI MOM I miss you and would like to come up for a visit if that's OK. I left you alone because of a vibe I felt....what vibe...I haven't tal...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I recently moved back home. AH went through Rehab, he is a normal person again. Well, a normal A anyway, with all the pesky elements of the disease and its dysfunction. Of course, I have all the elements of the disease too. I am going to Alanon, and CoDa. They help me immensely. Unfortunately He is not goi...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

I am having a hard, hard time with this. I know my husband and I cannot move forward until I trust him again. I know he cannot grow as a person if I keep cutting him off at the knee. He said to me today, 'It's like you want me to be a monster.' It would almost be easier that way. If he were a monster again, I cou...

Gaby · Gaby

I want you all to know that I thank you all for being here for me.. I have taken in all any one has posted. I need as many people everyday as possible. I am at my worst and I can only pray for my son. I have to I've him to god as much as I am hurting. This is not about me it's about my son. He has to want it. I can no longer...

melsand88 · melsand88

God- Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Three years of program and I still struggle with this every day.

deacon · deacon

I would like the title and whether I can purchase it on Amazon. Just so disappointed with my son right now. He is posting pictures on facebook that show he is not in any way curbing his drinking. Every time I see one, I want to crawl into a hole. I feel like such a failure as a mother because I tried so hard to in...

mongowal · mongowal

AHB who left me six weeks ago, come to my room Saturday, leaves and comes back several times. We have a pretty good conversation - he asks what I did the previous night and I ask him what he did. He of course went to the bar, claims he stayed sober. Not my business right. For the first time in these last...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I was in the kitchen and my son's father called. Left a message that he has not been able to get a hold of him and is concerned. Don't even want to call him back. I am in a panic state now. I'm scared and upset. I shouldn't be feeling this way. I want to cry....I don't want to tell him his son has relapse...

Jozie · Jozie

How is it, Know Matter How Hard I Try... I Still have "Triggers" that Can Set me in a Tail Spin So Fast, that even if "Nothing Happens" I still get Overwelmed with Emotions... I Sure don't have "All" the Triggers I Once Had, for Some I Can Now See Logical Sense out of, but t...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Interesting to feel guilt and a tinge of shame and then let them go...some. I purposely went for it...the feelings of guilt and shame. I knew they were here and went for it anyway. I was being gifted or rewarded for doing a service...finding some lost assets of another person and making sure they...

Tasha · Tasha

I just wanted to update to you guys - that even though the alcoholic in my life is not sober or in recovery, things are going really really well and he's being very loving and much more respectful over all to me and this has been a direct result of the program in MY life. Love to all :) -- Edited by Tasha o...

Gaby · Gaby

I am in full force fear.. But I understand I am powerless. My husband and I stayed the night just to make sure that he will be ok through out the night being that he hit tile with his head. He stayed in bed most of the day. When he woke up and was cohirent. He asked me what happened. I had to really refrain myself...

flinn66 · flinn66

Just sitting quietly today and reflecting, meditating and in contact with my HP. I don't know if this is others' experience but it came to me that since joining Al-Anon some years ago I became very involved with Service, I think maybe as a diversion from living with an active A. It did help, it gave me a di...

CoachPapa · CoachPapa

Slogans in a Poem by Coach PapaFirst Things First - I have heard it said - Be Honest With yourself, - get out of your head - You can Feel Good -About Saying "No" - Keep Coming Back to - Talk And Grow - Easy Does It - sounds real nice - If you Keep It Simple - you don't roll the dice - Live And Let Live - Bri...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I did something tonight that I don't often do. I called a group I meet with for book discussion and begged off meeting. I was honest about it. I feel empty/emotionally and mentally fatigued. I love our small group of ladies. I love the dynamics of our group. It's not an Al-Anon group though. Funn...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

Invited the AH over to watch a movie tonight. No big deal. We have been friendly and gone to church a few times with the kids during his 4 months of sobriety. We have had a nice time and he has fixed dinner for everyone but I haven't accepted his offers of going out. I can pretty much take him or leave him so he...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

http://books.google.ca/books?id=h-jQ_1vF-VQC&pg=PA230&lpg=PA230&dq=acoa+forming+healthy+relationships&source=bl&ots=64oi1IZdou&;...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

HI all.... so I made an appointment to go back on anti-depressants, so I feel I am letting myself down and as strong as I have become and thought I was, I am not. I kicked depression in the BUTT a long long time ago AND have been able to pull out of it after a couple days when it would surface. This took years of p...

mm830 · mm830

Good morning. Today I am going to accept what is, try my best not to judge it or make crazy attempts to control it. Just accept it. It's not the easiest thing to take the rose colored glasses off but until that happens I live in denial and lie to myself that its not really what it is. And I am not going to fight a...

farmerswife · farmerswife

Well I completed step 1. It was harder than I thought I never thought I had any control over my A, but I realized I was trying to control some aspects of his illness without even knowing I was doing it and I was trying to control many other things in life by trying to influence others decisions. Admitting...

Tricia911 · Tricia911

I grope around in the dark for the light switch that will illuminate unconditional love within myself.Butting my head against the struggle to surrender.It Feels as if my journey may be long and painful,with a bit of stumbling and falling, before I find myself on the proper path to enlightenment.My s...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Hello today is ok , I have taken a break from my Alaon books and find that I can't stay focus on my self . I don't focus on the A anymore that became old hat. My focus is now on my children and there behavior . I find myself wanting to change them but not fix them. I need to know about alateen . I looked on the board a...

islandtime · islandtime

for some reasen when I click on the link, for the 12 steps, nothing happens. Anybody know what the problem might be? I have gotten on there other times with no problem. Thanks

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Good afternoon well I have to say 7 months ago I was a very co dependent problem . I did everything for everyone and never seen it to be wrong . Today I guess I'm selfish . I cook and clean and pick up my own mess and the kids mess but not the husbands mess . I have noticed he been leaving things around to see if I wi...

Lyne · Lyne

I am working on step 4 with my sponsor and find this to be a very difficult but interesting experience. There are 2 people I carry anger, resentment, and fear toward, and one person anger and resentment for. I am finally able to want to get rid of all of this "junk". In the past, I have been af...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

My recovering abf invited me to his meeting this week. He was receiving his two year chip. This was my first time at the meeting. It's an open one but I've really never had any interest in going with him. I have my own program and my own meetings and I'm glad to have the house to myself while he's gone. You k...

Hopeful925 · Hopeful925

I sure could use support right now to stop the reeling in my head....Last time I posted, my ABF was involuntarily committed to a treatment center in June after 12 unsuccessful detoxes/rehabs in 18 mos. The one new addition to his plan which seemed to help was Naltrexone which he took x 3 mos. Prior to th...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Today was the first truly warm, summery evening of the year. My daughter's friend comes here on Wednesday afternoons whilst her mum is at work and usually I have dinner waiting for all of us when she comes to collect her child. But tonight she called on her way here- would I like to grab some takeaway and e...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, I am wondering how many meetings you go to in a week? There was a time when I would sometimes hit 4 meetings a week. I tried keeping that up but I found myself constantly looking at my watch and sigh'ing to myself wanting it to just end because it was so redundant. I found I was hearing a lot of the...

Gaby · Gaby

I'm so numb right now.. My son was doing so well.. N it happened my worst nightmare.. My son went to chair a meeting yesterday and something happened where he came home and after 5 months and 28 days clean. He relapsed ;( his roommate called me saying that my son is very sick and he has been in the bathroom fo...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am constantly being critical or over-analyzing myself these days. I am stuck in a muck. I have no business staying here. It doesn't feel comfortable at all. Ever since my mom came home, I have felt more insecure. My life is troubling me so much that I am unable to let go of the past & my difficult memo...

maryjane · maryjane

Last night was our AlAnon Information Services annual gratitude banquet. We had a young lady, age 20, just graduated from AlaTeen to AlAnon for our speaker. She started AlaTeen when she was 13. She know the steps. She really works the program. It was a lovely, lovely talk. In part of her talk was a...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. My dad is home for the weekend. I spent some time with him today. He went on one of his rants advising me not to trust anyone in this world and that eveyone's out to screw you over. It was extremelly depressing and it honnestly felt li...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

Alanon Family, This week has taught me a lot about myself and I can see how much I have grown through recovery! It's a joyous blessing. Earlier this week I came on the board with a concern about how much my partner was working and how much it bothered me. Since then, I really was able to step back and eval...

gingerfizz · gingerfizz

Someone I know is having issues in her marriage and a really really hard time coping with her husband's issues with internet porn. I found resources for her at http://www.cosa-recovery.org/index.html and http://www.sanon.org/index.html, but there are no meetings in our area and those site...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Whatever you let in your mind usually stays in your mind I heard recently. It is a shame that some things never go away. I have memories of crap that I try to let go of but they never really leave. Bad experiences can really taint the way you feel about life & how you live your life. I am totally for this ph...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Some of the other posts got me thinking. I know that in the end there is really only 1 type of drunk even though we attach other labels to them. Personally, I was an overdramatic, crying sloppy drunk (and goofy and fun I guess on the way up to getting to that point). My ex-A however, was goofy and fun on th...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

I dont know. I guess I will find out. If it helps one person, great. My best friend asked me today, if Tom and I ever split up would I ever date another A? I said NO WAY - NO HOW. So she asked me: what if this new person didnt tell you and you didnt know until I was already involved, living with him and in love? (...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

I have been attending Al-anon meetings and they are really helpful, well, my AH found out that it is an open meeting so he figures he can attend. I asked my group and they said it is a bad idea at this stage, he is trying (I think) to stop drinking and is in therapy but he is now trying to control me and mani...

DavidG · DavidG

Sometime soon I will have bin in Alanon for half of my life... 31 years... a long time. I slept through 6 or 8 of those years... I was out of my wits for most of those years... but I kept coming back... and our higher power kept pouring love all over me... all I had to do was to sit down, open my mouth and suck it...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

Well I am thinking a lot.....about how I can explain my life with my alcoholic (mostly to myself)..........It starts with getting a puppy, you fall head over heels in love with this thing even though it is hard (it pees on the floor, it does inappropriate things, it keeps you up all night for no reason,...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I hope everyone has a very blessed day today and a beautiful weekend. No matter what is going on in our lives, we still have the right to be happy and to experience peace and joy and serenity. For many years, I was happy but it was a happiness that was in denial. I was in 'pretend' land, where abuse was OK a...

Catherine Kitzmiller · Catherine Kitzmiller

I am new to the group and wanted to share. I grew up with my mothers alcoholism and Saturday night I finally had enough and it was worse than usual. I ended up in the ER and no one understands. All of my family thinks I am insane now and no one understands. I wrote a few blogs about my life but I am not finished an...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning I'm going to the River for Thanksgiving week. I going to go visit my sister and have a great time. I told my SO and he was fine with it. lol I'm going to be staying at a beautiful home, go boating, swimming, gambling, dining out and helping to prepare a fantastic Thanksgiving meal. I will...

joker · joker

I am having a melt down! I have court Dec 16 for severe abuse by the ex- alcoholic bf and today, I am having memories of the abuse comming back to me at an alarming rate and I can not stop crying! I had been doing so well, going for therapy and seeing my phycatrist and getting so strong, and now I am a pudd...

Somerset25 · Somerset25

As I wrote about over the last couple of days, I've found out that my 7-months sober wife is having an affair with a long-time sober member of her AA group. It's mostly been an emotional affair (texting, flirting, etc.) but they have kissed on at least two occasions that I know about. Despite all the BS, I...

abbyalana · abbyalana

My SIL is a great enabler and drama queen and my nieces are drama queens too. I have a 13 year old, my brother got custody of his now 14 years old (last year) from her severly addicted mother. The 14 year thrives and lives on drama and chaos and tends to hang with the bottom feeders. My 13 year old does not...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I too am struggling with the "no expectations". Nothing has changed in 7 years; he doesn't lift a finger to do anything at all, but I no longer fight, or ask him more than once. Or, recently, at all. It's pointless, it's frustrating and I end up angry when he makes promises and doesn't keep the...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

lol. Abf was in a nice mood when I got home from the beach this evening and asked me if I would like to watch a movie with him, one that he has been "looking forward to watching with me". Well, I tried, but it was 3 hours long and a movie about a bunch of horrible drug-addicts shouting rude things ab...

Jozie · Jozie

Good Morning, Afternoon & Evenning Peeps :) So Much Whirling Going on Around me Recently, that sometimes its Hard to Keep my Head up, but Thanks Goodness, I Don't have to be In Charge & HP Can Be! I Recently Found out that My Dearest of Aunts Has Cancer :( I have Already Lost So Many to this Disease...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

Today is important because we are exchanging a day of our life for it. Let us leave behind something good. -- Edited by Mari1978 on Wednesday 6th of November 2013 09:50:14 PM

mm830 · mm830

I had the strangest feeling tonight to go outside. There is a long story there but short version we used to hang out outside, laugh, talk, drink beer, as in a normal amount, just be us. After the ASO started drinking a lot as in 12-18 a night and I started codependant behavior I remember him telling me some...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Hello everyone, I would like to ask for ESH from those of you who have parted ways with your (non-violent) A partner. What became the breaking point, how did it come about, etc...? I guess I'm looking for some inspiration to help me move on to the next step. Thank you :)

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

So I cancelled our couple therapy appointment for tomorrow (I am still going but he is not invited). Reason being, I told him 2 weeks ago if he didnt do some of the things we were asked to do and participate, I was going alone next time. He doesnt really do anything with the homework and we are not getting wh...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Surviving guilt when trying to stop being an enabler (Preview) My husband who was an alcoholic passed away and I went to a few meetings at Al-anon. It sure opened my eyes to how we survive by becoming an enabler. I admit being an enabler is part of me and I want to change. At work I have made changes to stop this behavior but at home I am having a more harder time. I fina...	needy	8	3322	Nov 13, 2013 by Jozie
	missing them (Preview) I was thinking how just becuz we vent, hurt and say we feel so alone, does not mean we do not appreciate what we do have. Does not mean we don't realize others would love to have what we have. Just means we have that pain for whatever reason. To no longer be a part of anything I mean physically a part of, makes...	Debilyn	8	676	Nov 13, 2013 by PP
	Boundaries....oh, the Boundaries (Preview) I would like to ask for your ESH on boundaries, especially those of you who began setting boundaries late in the game, with an active A. For example, I had quit smoking several years ago, and asked my A to please refrain from smoking in the house. I had asked this when he moved in, then he began smoking in...	Raven Juniper	11	741	Nov 13, 2013 by PP
	The Most Wonderful Time of the Year? (Preview) I have to admit that I love and dread the holidays. Too many bad memories....and for the last 2 holiday seasons my A has added to the stress and dysfunction. I was determined not to let him have any impact on this year's festivities, but as of this posting, he still resides on the sofa, playing games on the...	Raven Juniper	7	510	Nov 13, 2013 by Melly1248
	New to Alanon. Old to addictive behavior. (Preview) Ok, here's my story. I've been married 22 years To my best friend. We have two young girls under 8yrs old. 2 1/2 years ago my dh started (what I would call) power drinking. And it hasn't stopped. He went deep. Drinking about a fifth of vodka and two bottles of wine a day. It's not at that level any more, but t...	Damselfly	8	649	Nov 13, 2013 by neshema2
	Thank you lovely people :-) (Preview) Thank-you lovely people, for sitting with me through my misery attack the other night I really, really do go loopy when daughter is away and it's just the silence and the mess and the awful reality!! I can't hide from it when she isn't here or pretend to be the "in control one" when he's loc...	Melly1248	19	625	Nov 13, 2013 by neshema2
	Text from the Boy (Preview) Well it was a nice start to a nice weekend......and then the text came in from my son. I guess he is sobering up. I now recognize the manipulations. Starts out with HI MOM I miss you and would like to come up for a visit if that's OK. I left you alone because of a vibe I felt....what vibe...I haven't tal...	Cathyinaz	18	705	Nov 13, 2013 by Jen61
	down in the dumps…maybe I am overreacting. (Preview) I recently moved back home. AH went through Rehab, he is a normal person again. Well, a normal A anyway, with all the pesky elements of the disease and its dysfunction. Of course, I have all the elements of the disease too. I am going to Alanon, and CoDa. They help me immensely. Unfortunately He is not goi...	sadsusie	8	576	Nov 13, 2013 by Jerry F
	Dismantling the defenses and re-establishing trust (Preview) I am having a hard, hard time with this. I know my husband and I cannot move forward until I trust him again. I know he cannot grow as a person if I keep cutting him off at the knee. He said to me today, 'It's like you want me to be a monster.' It would almost be easier that way. If he were a monster again, I cou...	SpiderArcana	14	724	Nov 12, 2013 by Melly1248
	Thank you.. (Preview) I want you all to know that I thank you all for being here for me.. I have taken in all any one has posted. I need as many people everyday as possible. I am at my worst and I can only pray for my son. I have to I've him to god as much as I am hurting. This is not about me it's about my son. He has to want it. I can no longer...	Gaby	5	298	Nov 12, 2013 by el-cee
	Serenity Serenity (Preview) God- Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Three years of program and I still struggle with this every day.	melsand88	2	7026	Nov 12, 2013 by PP
	Somone mentioned the name of a book about not letting your children destroy you (Preview) I would like the title and whether I can purchase it on Amazon. Just so disappointed with my son right now. He is posting pictures on facebook that show he is not in any way curbing his drinking. Every time I see one, I want to crawl into a hole. I feel like such a failure as a mother because I tried so hard to in...	deacon	4	654	Nov 12, 2013 by deacon
	Sunday Failure (Preview) AHB who left me six weeks ago, come to my room Saturday, leaves and comes back several times. We have a pretty good conversation - he asks what I did the previous night and I ask him what he did. He of course went to the bar, claims he stayed sober. Not my business right. For the first time in these last...	mongowal	7	547	Nov 12, 2013 by pinkchip
	Why do I feel scared? (Preview) I was in the kitchen and my son's father called. Left a message that he has not been able to get a hold of him and is concerned. Don't even want to call him back. I am in a panic state now. I'm scared and upset. I shouldn't be feeling this way. I want to cry....I don't want to tell him his son has relapse...	Cathyinaz	16	672	Nov 12, 2013 by Debilyn
	Continued Triggers.... (Preview) How is it, Know Matter How Hard I Try... I Still have "Triggers" that Can Set me in a Tail Spin So Fast, that even if "Nothing Happens" I still get Overwelmed with Emotions... I Sure don't have "All" the Triggers I Once Had, for Some I Can Now See Logical Sense out of, but t...	Jozie	5	391	Nov 12, 2013 by Breakingfree
	A recovering enablers reaction.... (Preview) Interesting to feel guilt and a tinge of shame and then let them go...some. I purposely went for it...the feelings of guilt and shame. I knew they were here and went for it anyway. I was being gifted or rewarded for doing a service...finding some lost assets of another person and making sure they...	Jerry F	16	591	Nov 12, 2013 by grateful2be
	Update (Preview) I just wanted to update to you guys - that even though the alcoholic in my life is not sober or in recovery, things are going really really well and he's being very loving and much more respectful over all to me and this has been a direct result of the program in MY life. Love to all :) -- Edited by Tasha o...	Tasha	4	325	Nov 12, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Update on my son.. (Preview) I am in full force fear.. But I understand I am powerless. My husband and I stayed the night just to make sure that he will be ok through out the night being that he hit tile with his head. He stayed in bed most of the day. When he woke up and was cohirent. He asked me what happened. I had to really refrain myself...	Gaby	3	297	Nov 12, 2013 by el-cee
	When I got busy I got better? (Preview) Just sitting quietly today and reflecting, meditating and in contact with my HP. I don't know if this is others' experience but it came to me that since joining Al-Anon some years ago I became very involved with Service, I think maybe as a diversion from living with an active A. It did help, it gave me a di...	flinn66	4	3583	Nov 12, 2013 by el-cee
	Al-Anon Slogans in a Poem - By Coach Papa (Preview) Slogans in a Poem by Coach PapaFirst Things First - I have heard it said - Be Honest With yourself, - get out of your head - You can Feel Good -About Saying "No" - Keep Coming Back to - Talk And Grow - Easy Does It - sounds real nice - If you Keep It Simple - you don't roll the dice - Live And Let Live - Bri...	CoachPapa	2	670	Nov 11, 2013 by Peggy7
	Emptiness (Preview) I did something tonight that I don't often do. I called a group I meet with for book discussion and begged off meeting. I was honest about it. I feel empty/emotionally and mentally fatigued. I love our small group of ladies. I love the dynamics of our group. It's not an Al-Anon group though. Funn...	grateful2be	21	669	Nov 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	Worst "Date" Ever (Preview) Invited the AH over to watch a movie tonight. No big deal. We have been friendly and gone to church a few times with the kids during his 4 months of sobriety. We have had a nice time and he has fixed dinner for everyone but I haven't accepted his offers of going out. I can pretty much take him or leave him so he...	wornoutmrsfixit	15	728	Nov 11, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	Has anyone read this book? (Preview) http://books.google.ca/books?id=h-jQ_1vF-VQC&pg=PA230&lpg=PA230&dq=acoa+forming+healthy+relationships&source=bl&ots=64oi1IZdou&;...	slogan_jim	3	365	Nov 11, 2013 by afglin
	Not doing well today (Preview) HI all.... so I made an appointment to go back on anti-depressants, so I feel I am letting myself down and as strong as I have become and thought I was, I am not. I kicked depression in the BUTT a long long time ago AND have been able to pull out of it after a couple days when it would surface. This took years of p...	Iwantthingsback	19	627	Nov 11, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Acceptance (Preview) Good morning. Today I am going to accept what is, try my best not to judge it or make crazy attempts to control it. Just accept it. It's not the easiest thing to take the rose colored glasses off but until that happens I live in denial and lie to myself that its not really what it is. And I am not going to fight a...	mm830	8	629	Nov 11, 2013 by flinn66
	steps? (Preview) Well I completed step 1. It was harder than I thought I never thought I had any control over my A, but I realized I was trying to control some aspects of his illness without even knowing I was doing it and I was trying to control many other things in life by trying to influence others decisions. Admitting...	farmerswife	6	495	Nov 11, 2013 by flinn66
	Journal Entry - I shared this entry in a meeting and was asked to share it here on the board. I pray it blesses another. unconditional love love struggle surrender worthy journey (Preview) I grope around in the dark for the light switch that will illuminate unconditional love within myself.Butting my head against the struggle to surrender.It Feels as if my journey may be long and painful,with a bit of stumbling and falling, before I find myself on the proper path to enlightenment.My s...	Tricia911	6	8642	Nov 11, 2013 by Peggy7
	Looking for alateen (Preview) Hello today is ok , I have taken a break from my Alaon books and find that I can't stay focus on my self . I don't focus on the A anymore that became old hat. My focus is now on my children and there behavior . I find myself wanting to change them but not fix them. I need to know about alateen . I looked on the board a...	Wisdom67	5	228	Nov 11, 2013 by abbyal
	can't get on the step board...HELP Please (Preview) for some reasen when I click on the link, for the 12 steps, nothing happens. Anybody know what the problem might be? I have gotten on there other times with no problem. Thanks	islandtime	1	240	Nov 11, 2013 by hotrod
	Am I being selfish? (Preview) Good afternoon well I have to say 7 months ago I was a very co dependent problem . I did everything for everyone and never seen it to be wrong . Today I guess I'm selfish . I cook and clean and pick up my own mess and the kids mess but not the husbands mess . I have noticed he been leaving things around to see if I wi...	Wisdom67	8	459	Nov 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	step 4 (Preview) I am working on step 4 with my sponsor and find this to be a very difficult but interesting experience. There are 2 people I carry anger, resentment, and fear toward, and one person anger and resentment for. I am finally able to want to get rid of all of this "junk". In the past, I have been af...	Lyne	3	379	Nov 11, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Attended Open AA for his Sober Anniversary (Preview) My recovering abf invited me to his meeting this week. He was receiving his two year chip. This was my first time at the meeting. It's an open one but I've really never had any interest in going with him. I have my own program and my own meetings and I'm glad to have the house to myself while he's gone. You k...	tiredtonite	8	419	Nov 11, 2013 by tiredtonite
	5 months sober...and down the tubes in 5 days...Help! (Preview) I sure could use support right now to stop the reeling in my head....Last time I posted, my ABF was involuntarily committed to a treatment center in June after 12 unsuccessful detoxes/rehabs in 18 mos. The one new addition to his plan which seemed to help was Naltrexone which he took x 3 mos. Prior to th...	Hopeful925	6	549	Nov 11, 2013 by Hopeful925
	Why I love where i live :-) (Preview) Today was the first truly warm, summery evening of the year. My daughter's friend comes here on Wednesday afternoons whilst her mum is at work and usually I have dinner waiting for all of us when she comes to collect her child. But tonight she called on her way here- would I like to grab some takeaway and e...	Melly1248	9	503	Nov 11, 2013 by maryjane
	How many meetings do you attend in a week (Preview) Hi everyone, I am wondering how many meetings you go to in a week? There was a time when I would sometimes hit 4 meetings a week. I tried keeping that up but I found myself constantly looking at my watch and sigh'ing to myself wanting it to just end because it was so redundant. I found I was hearing a lot of the...	slogan_jim	10	1141	Nov 10, 2013 by Tricia911
	It happened !!! (Preview) I'm so numb right now.. My son was doing so well.. N it happened my worst nightmare.. My son went to chair a meeting yesterday and something happened where he came home and after 5 months and 28 days clean. He relapsed ;( his roommate called me saying that my son is very sick and he has been in the bathroom fo...	Gaby	8	577	Nov 10, 2013 by el-cee
	is there something wrong or different about me? (Preview) I am constantly being critical or over-analyzing myself these days. I am stuck in a muck. I have no business staying here. It doesn't feel comfortable at all. Ever since my mom came home, I have felt more insecure. My life is troubling me so much that I am unable to let go of the past & my difficult memo...	Hoot Nanny	6	365	Nov 10, 2013 by PP
	Out of the mouths of babes....... (Preview) Last night was our AlAnon Information Services annual gratitude banquet. We had a young lady, age 20, just graduated from AlaTeen to AlAnon for our speaker. She started AlaTeen when she was 13. She know the steps. She really works the program. It was a lovely, lovely talk. In part of her talk was a...	maryjane	8	574	Nov 10, 2013 by Jerry F
	Feeling Bitter (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. My dad is home for the weekend. I spent some time with him today. He went on one of his rants advising me not to trust anyone in this world and that eveyone's out to screw you over. It was extremelly depressing and it honnestly felt li...	slogan_jim	2	392	Nov 10, 2013 by bud
	Learning How To Grow (Preview) Alanon Family, This week has taught me a lot about myself and I can see how much I have grown through recovery! It's a joyous blessing. Earlier this week I came on the board with a concern about how much my partner was working and how much it bothered me. Since then, I really was able to step back and eval...	BlueCloud	4	312	Nov 10, 2013 by mm830
	Spouse of porn addict welcome at Al-Anon? (Preview) Someone I know is having issues in her marriage and a really really hard time coping with her husband's issues with internet porn. I found resources for her at http://www.cosa-recovery.org/index.html and http://www.sanon.org/index.html, but there are no meetings in our area and those site...	gingerfizz	14	4023	Nov 9, 2013 by maryjane
	whatever you let in your mind... (Preview) Whatever you let in your mind usually stays in your mind I heard recently. It is a shame that some things never go away. I have memories of crap that I try to let go of but they never really leave. Bad experiences can really taint the way you feel about life & how you live your life. I am totally for this ph...	Hoot Nanny	6	546	Nov 9, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Mean drunks (Preview) Some of the other posts got me thinking. I know that in the end there is really only 1 type of drunk even though we attach other labels to them. Personally, I was an overdramatic, crying sloppy drunk (and goofy and fun I guess on the way up to getting to that point). My ex-A however, was goofy and fun on th...	pinkchip	20	970	Nov 9, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	This may be an unethical, non Al anon share… (Preview) I dont know. I guess I will find out. If it helps one person, great. My best friend asked me today, if Tom and I ever split up would I ever date another A? I said NO WAY - NO HOW. So she asked me: what if this new person didnt tell you and you didnt know until I was already involved, living with him and in love? (...	Iwantthingsback	9	663	Nov 9, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	My AH wants to go to Al-anon meetings with me?! (Preview) I have been attending Al-anon meetings and they are really helpful, well, my AH found out that it is an open meeting so he figures he can attend. I asked my group and they said it is a bad idea at this stage, he is trying (I think) to stop drinking and is in therapy but he is now trying to control me and mani...	jillybean1	17	1211	Nov 9, 2013 by Wisdom67
	Half way on in Alanon... (Preview) Sometime soon I will have bin in Alanon for half of my life... 31 years... a long time. I slept through 6 or 8 of those years... I was out of my wits for most of those years... but I kept coming back... and our higher power kept pouring love all over me... all I had to do was to sit down, open my mouth and suck it...	DavidG	9	406	Nov 9, 2013 by Jerry F
	A puppy analogy (Preview) Well I am thinking a lot.....about how I can explain my life with my alcoholic (mostly to myself)..........It starts with getting a puppy, you fall head over heels in love with this thing even though it is hard (it pees on the floor, it does inappropriate things, it keeps you up all night for no reason,...	jillybean1	7	557	Nov 9, 2013 by hotrod
	Feeling joyful today (Preview) I hope everyone has a very blessed day today and a beautiful weekend. No matter what is going on in our lives, we still have the right to be happy and to experience peace and joy and serenity. For many years, I was happy but it was a happiness that was in denial. I was in 'pretend' land, where abuse was OK a...	ilovedogs	7	509	Nov 9, 2013 by hotrod
	New to the group and wanted to share. (Preview) I am new to the group and wanted to share. I grew up with my mothers alcoholism and Saturday night I finally had enough and it was worse than usual. I ended up in the ER and no one understands. All of my family thinks I am insane now and no one understands. I wrote a few blogs about my life but I am not finished an...	Catherine Kitzmiller	10	626	Nov 9, 2013 by wp
	I'm so Excited (Preview) Good Morning I'm going to the River for Thanksgiving week. I going to go visit my sister and have a great time. I told my SO and he was fine with it. lol I'm going to be staying at a beautiful home, go boating, swimming, gambling, dining out and helping to prepare a fantastic Thanksgiving meal. I will...	Cathyinaz	19	617	Nov 8, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Having a hard day (Preview) I am having a melt down! I have court Dec 16 for severe abuse by the ex- alcoholic bf and today, I am having memories of the abuse comming back to me at an alarming rate and I can not stop crying! I had been doing so well, going for therapy and seeing my phycatrist and getting so strong, and now I am a pudd...	joker	8	569	Nov 8, 2013 by pinkchip
	Confused, Need Strength (Preview) As I wrote about over the last couple of days, I've found out that my 7-months sober wife is having an affair with a long-time sober member of her AA group. It's mostly been an emotional affair (texting, flirting, etc.) but they have kissed on at least two occasions that I know about. Despite all the BS, I...	Somerset25	14	624	Nov 8, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	How do you keep enablers at bay? (Preview) My SIL is a great enabler and drama queen and my nieces are drama queens too. I have a 13 year old, my brother got custody of his now 14 years old (last year) from her severly addicted mother. The 14 year thrives and lives on drama and chaos and tends to hang with the bottom feeders. My 13 year old does not...	abbyalana	8	482	Nov 8, 2013 by neshema2
	Also struggling with "no expectations" (Preview) I too am struggling with the "no expectations". Nothing has changed in 7 years; he doesn't lift a finger to do anything at all, but I no longer fight, or ask him more than once. Or, recently, at all. It's pointless, it's frustrating and I end up angry when he makes promises and doesn't keep the...	Melly1248	22	1539	Nov 7, 2013 by hotrod
	lol, huh? (Preview) lol. Abf was in a nice mood when I got home from the beach this evening and asked me if I would like to watch a movie with him, one that he has been "looking forward to watching with me". Well, I tried, but it was 3 hours long and a movie about a bunch of horrible drug-addicts shouting rude things ab...	Melly1248	14	670	Nov 7, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Choices, Chances & Change! (Preview) Good Morning, Afternoon & Evenning Peeps :) So Much Whirling Going on Around me Recently, that sometimes its Hard to Keep my Head up, but Thanks Goodness, I Don't have to be In Charge & HP Can Be! I Recently Found out that My Dearest of Aunts Has Cancer :( I have Already Lost So Many to this Disease...	Jozie	3	339	Nov 7, 2013 by PP
	Tomorrow (Preview) Today is important because we are exchanging a day of our life for it. Let us leave behind something good. -- Edited by Mari1978 on Wednesday 6th of November 2013 09:50:14 PM	Mari1978	3	457	Nov 7, 2013 by Jozie
	Strange epiphany (Preview) I had the strangest feeling tonight to go outside. There is a long story there but short version we used to hang out outside, laugh, talk, drink beer, as in a normal amount, just be us. After the ASO started drinking a lot as in 12-18 a night and I started codependant behavior I remember him telling me some...	mm830	12	495	Nov 7, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Cutting Bait (Preview) Hello everyone, I would like to ask for ESH from those of you who have parted ways with your (non-violent) A partner. What became the breaking point, how did it come about, etc...? I guess I'm looking for some inspiration to help me move on to the next step. Thank you :)	Raven Juniper	7	534	Nov 7, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	Back up plans, Boundary and Expectations (Preview) So I cancelled our couple therapy appointment for tomorrow (I am still going but he is not invited). Reason being, I told him 2 weeks ago if he didnt do some of the things we were asked to do and participate, I was going alone next time. He doesnt really do anything with the homework and we are not getting wh...	Iwantthingsback	11	705	Nov 7, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.