The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am in full force fear.. But I understand I am powerless. My husband and I stayed the night just to make sure that he will be ok through out the night being that he hit tile with his head. He stayed in bed most of the day. When he woke up and was cohirent. He asked me what happened. I had to really refrain myself by saying what I truly wanted to say. But I did tell him I almost found him dead. He looked at me with this scared looked. I did not want to ask any questions on why and what led you to this. I have to continue to stay quite. But my nephew went to go visit him and my son shared why he relapsed. Of course my nephew told me. Even though I know the cause of his relapse with out saying this to my son. I call all of this BS!! I love him yes and care for him deeply.. But my thinking right now is I just want to ring his neck and yell!! I broke into his home because I did not want him to die!! If there is another mishap.. He may not be so lucky.. I was talking to my mother that is 77 years old and she said to me except what he is and always be prepared but let god carry him for you. I get all that and I must learn to understand this disease.. All I have known is to help him, but no longer enable him. I am probably not making sense right now. I'm venting because if I do it else where Ian creates problems I don't need. Thank u
I'm so so sorry your going through this. I understand where you are coming from. I too would be right by my son's side not wanting him to die. I would grab him up, put him in the car and either take him to a hospital or take him home with me. I would watch over him until he was a little better than enable until he was OK to return home. I did this over and over until I just couldn't do it anymore.
He now knows mom will not rescue him anymore. He has gotten hurt pretty bad to the point of calling 911. Almost died twice and still doesn't care. I will let go no matter what happens now. I can't help my son no matter what. I can't protect him anymore. I finally was out of denial to think he will get better with my help.
I'm changed and I pray he will change when he knows mom is not there to pick up the pieces. I don't fear losing him anymore. He is going to die anyways if I continue my help....just a little more SLOWLY.
Let go let HP.....you are not his HP and never will be.
(((( hugs ))))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Gaby, you are making perfect sense to me. Its like every bone in your body aches to take his pain away but you know that it is impossible and when you can accept that his pain is his and is caused by only him and can be halted by only him it is easier to let go. Im in a similar situation with my son, not as intense as yours but I can identify all the same. Have you heard of parent anon, I think thats what it is called. I have recently heard of them and they seem to offer so much help to parents. You are not alone in this and I hope you continue to vent, this has got to be one of the hardest situations to ever be in and I will pray for you and your family. Sending you my best wishes.x
