The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Listening to that"Still small voice within " takes practice and sometimes it feels uncomfortable. Not pretending, and being true to ourselves is one of the important gifts we can give to ourselves
Sometimes I feel empty in a group if I am reaching out to connect and others are walled in.
I am glad that you shared here.
-- Edited by hotrod on Sunday 10th of November 2013 08:58:31 PM
Thank you so much, everybody!!!! The feedback, the sayings, the hugs, the understanding and the insights are all gifts that are freely given and I want to receive them with gratitude. Betty, you are so right about reaching out to connect when others are walled in and how it can lead to depletion/emptiness. Although my book group is not walled in, I've spent a long period of time with others who are. The experience helps to remind me to limit my exposure to people with heavy walls. Thanks again, everyone. You are like a cold drink in a hot desert today for me. I am aware of a bubbling energy rising again within me and although I don't want to go out to spend time with others tonight, I'm feeling more energetic than when I first posted.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Sunday 10th of November 2013 07:36:16 PM
-- Edited by grateful2be on Sunday 10th of November 2013 07:36:47 PM
-- Edited by grateful2be on Sunday 10th of November 2013 07:38:50 PM
I did something tonight that I don't often do. I called a group I meet with for book discussion and begged off meeting. I was honest about it. I feel empty/emotionally and mentally fatigued. I love our small group of ladies. I love the dynamics of our group. It's not an Al-Anon group though. Funny how recovery can wax and wane for me. I can go for months - sometimes years - being with all sorts of people in all sorts of settings and be okay within myself. Lately, that hasn't been true. I find it increasingly difficult to be in settings where Al-Anon is not being practiced. I don't know what that all means. I just know that if I had pushed myself beyond my own limits tonight, I would have resented myself and that resentment could have spilled onto them who were simply going to meet as we had agreed. There is a codependent part of me that says, "Oh, for pete's sakes. You big baby. You could have gone. So what if you feel empty, depleted, wrung out? Just put on your game face and pretend you're doing just fine, feeling just fine, wanting to be there when you don't really want to be there just because you feel empty." Recovery says something different to me. It says to take care of myself and give to myself what I know I need most right now even when it means staying home rather than going to something that isn't right for me tonight or me for it.
You might be pulling yourself in to many directions. Are you letting HALT set in? Are you trying to do to much to keep busy? Maybe it's time to step back and do a little relaxing and enjoying life and taking care of just you. I know myself I don't do enough to keep busy. I could lay around for days if I could. That's not good either.
We need to find a balance so let it go and work on getting your vibe back.
(((( hugs ))))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Good for you for doing what you needed to. You were listening to your body and mind and that's alright. Those little voices that tell us were wrong can make us feel guilt. This is where our battle lies. In our own heads.x
I'm sorry you're having one of those days. Sounds like you're doing what's best for you - honoring your feelings. Taking some down time can be good. With so much insanity at my workplace, I really relate to what you are feeling. Thankfully, we can identify what we're feeling these days because of the program. When I'm overwhelmed, I know I need to keep it simple and be gentle with myself. It can mean just spending time with my higher power and no one else until I feel centered again. Thanks for sharing. Hope tomorrow feels better for you. Hugs! TT
__________________
Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Recovery says something different to me. It says to take care of myself and give to myself what I know I need most right now even when it means staying home rather than going to something that isn't right for me tonight or me for it.
**************************** (((((((((((((((((G)))))))))))))))))) I am glad u took care of you and its OK....I sometimes feel wrung out, wasted, sucked up, and otherwise feeling like dung warmed over and I need to shut down...be with me and my feelings....take xtra care of me......
recovery can be demanding, especially of late....it takes a lot of energy working a serious program which is what i see you do on a consistent basis..........
Take care of you...be your own best friend.......and remember......the ones who mind ,don't matter....the ones who don't mind are the ones who matter.............
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I get where you are at. I, too, have those experiences. I know, for me, it is best to stay still in my little home cocoon until I am ready to venture out again. Sometimes I don't even answer the phone. I just piddle around my house, read, clean or whatever I want pretty much What is so neat, though, is I can stay connected, silently, through this forum. (((grateful)))
What a blessing this forum has been and is. Thanks again, HP, John and all the MIP family. Hugs back to you too, PP. I think maybe we're twins? That's exactly what I'm doing. Piddling, doing laundry (kinda), reading and staying connected through this forum in my safe little getaway from the world. Just me and the girls, Holly and Hannah, and they hardly even mew.
I agree with the posts that we get to decide what we need and what we don't at any given time. We have permission to take care of ourselves! WHo knew??
This post is a great reminder how much love and support there is out there. You did what you needed to do to take care of yourself and that is very positive, listening to the inner voice that says no and being ok with saying it. Take extra good care of yourself grateful.
(((G2B)))
Very seldom do I stop and say No not today. Today was one of those days I needed to just not pretend I am okay either. I was supposed to go to a birthday party and I just decided no not today. Today I need to refuel. I hope that you were able to refuel.
In support
M
Funny . Your post reminded me that when I took the personality test from my son's university class, I was almost the perfect 50/50 mix of a extrovert/introvert. A little more introverted. Anyway, sometimes people drain me and I need that alone time to recharge. Sounds like that's what you needed too and it worked! :)
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"Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless." - Dave G. Llewellyn
If I don't recharge by withdrawing, I am about as much fun to be with as a bag of rocks, a jar full of bees, or a room full of crying babies who can't be consoled.
((Grateful)) Thank you for your post and the great reminder that taking care of ourselves may seem counter intuitive. It's so important to hear and listen to what it is that we need - what is nurturing for us at a given time.
What a quiet and peaceful read for me, flinn. Thanks for sharing your experience with me. You must - You should. Aren't they an insistent couple? I've got to hand it to them. They don't give up. Fortunately, we have program and our HP to remind us that we don't have to allow them to push away from our need to center. Hugs back to you, too!
-- Edited by grateful2be on Monday 11th of November 2013 09:10:46 AM
Good reminders and so glad that you are taking the time 'just for you'.
I am doing much the same today, just me and my HP - its peaceful, I am calm and I am not allowing the noises in my head that say "You must/You should" to take over and ruin things!
G2B, all I can picture now is a room full of crying babies playing tearfully with a bag of rocks and a jar of bees. And it's giving me giggles. Sorry lol
Melly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My ribs just started healing from the last laughing fest I went on thanks to you and now...........here you are again to tickle my funny bone. (((M))) You help me find the joy within me with your quick wit, sister.
What is so neat, though, is I can stay connected, silently, through this forum. (((grateful)))