Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Living in the Calm · Living in the Calm

This is my first time on here. I'm not really sure where this post will go so I will just start with my story - My wife and I have been together for 3 years - had our union in March. I always knew she had an addictive personality and I guess I just always gave excuses. "Oh we are young we are suppose to dr...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I know that we should remember to keep the focus on ourselves, that it is essential to our recovery. Very essential. It is dreadfully easy for alcoholic seems to steal away our joy, peace, and serenity. Focusing on ourselves is necessary to restore those things into our lifewe need to refill the leaky...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Today I'm not feeling up to par. I've been sick off and on for a couple of weeks now. I think it's all in my head

My son has made a couple of temps to contact me ( when in a sober state somewhat ) but I have not responded at all. I'm still weak and it would give him the opportunity to get to my weakness e...

Lyne · Lyne

So I am on steps 4-5 and find this a learning and difficult experience. I shared something I did with my sponsor that I have carried shame and regret for, for over 30 years. I have not admitted it to another human being, only to God. I'm not sure what I expected my sponsor to do-scold me, agree what I did w...

PP · PP

About a month ago I ended my relationship with my sponsor. It was a thoughtful decision after much prayer and counsel. I was clear it was the best decision for me. It was difficult for me to do but I thought I had handled it (through a phone call) in a way that was gentle, kind and clean with, what I believ...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I drive school bus and have threatened to arrange my kids, all ages, into seats that I know they won't like, if they cannot control their behavior - I'm tired of having to holler the same things over and over and careening down the freeway at 55 mph with semi's passing is no place for me to have to be discipl...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

It's amazing how far-reaching the stuff I learn here is. My ex AH (and I am for all intents and purposes his ex AW) has been in my thoughts tonight. Some years ago we went overseas to stay with his parents for a time. We ended up moving into our own flat and living there for a couple of years and during that tim...

breamanic665 · breamanic665

how can i briefly explain? probably not possible to do so, so I'll try to sum up. I knew my bf was an alcoholic from the start, but he had been working towards cutting down and living a healthier life even when we were just friends. he was one of my very best friends, and i didn't expect we would fall in love b...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Hello everyone , I am ok today my A found a job my dr are not charging me co pays given my health status and free samples have been provided this is for sure to know my higher power see that I'm working hard to change me and given myself over to him and return he given me my path to recovery , this is something I co...

milkwood · milkwood

I've been feeling cranky all week, reaching a point where I felt completely down in the dumps. Thanks to lots of reading, mostly here, it was at least an opportunity to see my grizzly thinking in action Then in an effort to feel a bit more positive about myself I suggested doing a lunch for a friend who i...

Medi · Medi

Where to start.... I have separated from my AH 2 months ago and trying my best to get on with my life, while caring for our 2 young girls, working, doing the household...etc. The last 2 months have been an emotional roller coaster, some days I am fine, other days I feel depressed. I feel I can manage (just)...

PP · PP

I would like prayers today for the strength to work my program while I watch my husband relapsing into his addictive thoughts. To my awareness, he has not picked up substances, but he has picked up the stinking thinking. He has his tools and I have mine. I know I cannot and will not do this alone....th...

bijela · bijela

I have been having a very difficult time. I have been having lots of flashbacks from past abuse and assaults. It has gotten to the point that I see every male as a threat to my safety. I know it's logically stupid, but I've been having nightmares really bad and not sleeping. I've blocked more people from F...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Should I keep my mouth shut? I am really feeling the need to listen these days. I think I am going through a growth period or a new cycle in my life. I don't have a lot of wisdom to share right now. I just want to say a few things & stop writing. I am not hopeless or helpless. I don't feel alone in all this stuf...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

It's not always doom and gloom - sometimes there is light. My husband and I had a really good weekend. We went out and bummed around town for a bit, we ate dinner out, and we had honest, kind conversations to each other. I had a few eye-opening moments, and I was able to explain a few of my concerns with a ve...

Mattie · Mattie

I found myself having a big reaction today and I thought, "Where the heck did that come from?" I was buying some big bags of pet food with my son, in a store that didn't have carts, and when we had pulled some out to take up to the register, my son wandered off to look at pets and I couldn't find him...

Gaby · Gaby

So as I had shared my son relapsed one week ago today.. Well since he has no longer relapsed I can honestly say for him he just never recovered. He is in such denial. Where did all the stress and worrying and fear send me to !!?? Yes the mental hospital on Wednesday all caused by those factors because I have b...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi eveyone, My name is Slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Well, after a great revelation of my own about intimacy last night, my dad got home from rehab. I saw he called today, so I phoned back. He's already slurring. Those 5 weeks he was gone felt so relaxing. My sister has decided that she w...

deacon · deacon

My husband is a caring, hardworking, giving man. I know he loves me and he professes it every day. He will go out of his way to make me comfortable and he says many times that he puts me first in our relationship.Except that he likes to drink. He knows how much I hate drinking. So he hides it in his garage and t...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

I'm supposed to be getting ready for work and here I am...Lol.. I just have to vent a tiny bit before I walk out into the living room and see the A sitting at the computer dressed in the same clothes from last week. At least he hardly perspires, so you smell the dirty clothes more than anything else. And yet I...

DavidG · DavidG

Oh my gosh! This year I had to deal with conflict inside of my group. I was a big part of that! I wasn't the cause though. I would describe it as 'growing pains'. Yesterday we had our area business meeting. It was hosted in my own community... we did have a major crisis, which I won't name, of course! But I wa...

Mattie · Mattie

I was reading about the findings of a researcher on addiction, Karen Ersche. She studies the effects of cocaine on the brain. In the report she says: "I have also become increasingly intriguied by the question of occasional drug use can turn into addiction in some people, while others seem to...

el-cee · el-cee

I'm trying to work an honest program so I thought I would share parts of myself to you, just to be honest really and to get some feedback. I love Al anon, I love the fellowship and its teaching me to be a better person, a more empathetic person, a kinder, more gentle person, but there is a part of me, (not sure...

Doozy · Doozy

Hi all! I haven't written for a long time, but I still read often and I just love this board. Alanon and MIP continue to help me change my life in HUGE ways for the better and I am so thankful. I've been going through some tough circumstances. Today and yesterday, I was rolling around some ideas in my head a...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning all I've been having these little mini panic attacks I'm calling them. They aren't that bad but the fear is real and lasts from a few seconds to a few minutes. Sometimes I can't even remember what caused them. Sometimes my son comes to mind. It's all in my head I know but having a hard time...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone Well I'm taking inventory but not my personal inventory...lol WORK . Been here since 6am and it's now 6:45pm I'M TIRED.....

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Found an arrest warrent.I wasn't snooping. As his drinking and gaming take a deeper and deeper hold on him, his efforts at "being human" subside. Now, nothing is out of bounds. Every dish in the house lives in his room, covered in slime next to his bed amongst the piles of empty bottles and ca...

Jozie · Jozie

I have resently been working with my "Sponser"/"Sponsers" in trying to rerun the steps, I have Found out Many things in my Recovery, that was right there all along, I just needed someone Outside My Head to Point them Out... I have Often been told that "My Problem" is:...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone,My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.I have been doing some thinking about intimacy and the effects of growing up in an alcoholic home. I was searching for some books I could read and maybe some psychological approaches as opposed to shares. I came across this book an...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Maybe I should not be posting today , I'm not a person that had a good wisdom way for the past several days . My life is out of my hands . I can't find my peace and be happy with myself if I don't know who is in control over my life today . Last week I know some one strong and smart and could see things for what there w...

xeno59 · xeno59

I shared at a meeting the other day that I had been so angry at myself from not living up to my own standards. Sheesh if I can't live up to my standards how can i think anyone else can. I went to bed still angry, this is the time I do my Grat list for my day. But this night I did it in a new way for me. Hoping this may be...

1976love · 1976love

Not sure even how to write this. I find writing it out is just as theraputic as the responses. No secret to the MIP family that I have an AH. It's no secret to alot of people. I am happy. I have been keeping up with me (as in meetings, haircuts, clothes, getting to the dentist, visit with friends) I act...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

This is the most absurd thing I have ever written.Had a massive step backwards yesterday. We were both having good days, we made plans to go out with friends to have dinner that night, all was well. I even felt lighter. I felt happy. When he got home, I tried to very, very nonchalantly ask him about ho...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

Little by little, day by day, I learn more and more about me. I learn that I am my own beautiful being. I am not perfect, and that's ok. I love and am loved. I'm unwrapping and some layers are painful and sting. Some wounds I covered with Band-Aids and never quite let them heal. I cry, but I listen. Shhh, its o...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t55578983/alanon-5th-step/-- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 14th of November 2013 04:50:30 PM

Debilyn · Debilyn

feeling happier. Was blessed by some great fb friends who love animals too! I was wanting to say too, about Addicts stopping to use. I have a clock over my stove on the wall. Been up there fourteen or so years. I took it down a couple times but will keep looking up there to see what time it is. Since i moved my s...

sad_dog_mommy · sad_dog_mommy

My ABF has anger and depression issues and as you can imagine he gets really riled up after he has been drinking. For the last year he regularly rants about killing himself. He says self deprecating things like "I am worth more dead than I am alive" "I wish I had a gun to end all my pain...

Gaby · Gaby

I feel as I have lost my son.. I have so many emotions going through me. I just feel like hiding. I am so sick to his addiction.. It has controlled me and I have a lot of learning to do about detachment!! I have lost myself completely.. I'm so depressed.

Bettina · Bettina

re connected to computer today, and all moved into my new apt. Mom is at my brothers now and doing well. I'm withdrawing from the stress of taking care of a sick person. So, I cant say how I'm feeling yet, I know I'm tired from the move and just want to sleep. Glad to be back! Lets get busy...lol..

hope4ever · hope4ever

The holidays are coming up and I am starting to think about how me and my BIL do not really get along. He doesn't live here but he comes during Christmas time and him and his girlfriend and 3 kids come and stay at our house for a few days. Between my 2 boys and my husband - there is a lot of noise and talking going...

oldergal · oldergal

What I learned was my guilt caused me to enable my sons drinking. I felt guilty because I divorced his Dad when he was 13 therefore leaving him without a Father. So for many years I pitied him and spoiled him to make up for his loss. What a mistake. A lot of us have made mistakes raising our children, some of...

oldergal · oldergal

WHAT DOES LOVE LOOK LIKE?

mm830 · mm830

I have to remind myself lately of what I am actively doing to get better as I feel a little stuck, restless or something. I am eating something healthier most days, trying to remember to take vitamins, walking a few times a week, and praying way more. As a result I feel better than I did when I found MIP. Tha...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

OK whatever happens, happens. If nothing changes, nothing changes. I am still praying about some of my issues. I have hope for change. Even if I don't get what I want, it will get better! I have to have some confidence. I don't need the stress of not getting what I feel that I deserve. Serenity doesn't com...

needy · needy

My husband who was an alcoholic passed away and I went to a few meetings at Al-anon. It sure opened my eyes to how we survive by becoming an enabler. I admit being an enabler is part of me and I want to change. At work I have made changes to stop this behavior but at home I am having a more harder time. I fina...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I was thinking how just becuz we vent, hurt and say we feel so alone, does not mean we do not appreciate what we do have. Does not mean we don't realize others would love to have what we have. Just means we have that pain for whatever reason. To no longer be a part of anything I mean physically a part of, makes...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

I would like to ask for your ESH on boundaries, especially those of you who began setting boundaries late in the game, with an active A. For example, I had quit smoking several years ago, and asked my A to please refrain from smoking in the house. I had asked this when he moved in, then he began smoking in...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

I have to admit that I love and dread the holidays. Too many bad memories....and for the last 2 holiday seasons my A has added to the stress and dysfunction. I was determined not to let him have any impact on this year's festivities, but as of this posting, he still resides on the sofa, playing games on the...

Damselfly · Damselfly

Ok, here's my story. I've been married 22 years To my best friend. We have two young girls under 8yrs old. 2 1/2 years ago my dh started (what I would call) power drinking. And it hasn't stopped. He went deep. Drinking about a fifth of vodka and two bottles of wine a day. It's not at that level any more, but t...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Thank-you lovely people, for sitting with me through my misery attack the other night

I really, really do go loopy when daughter is away and it's just the silence and the mess and the awful reality!! I can't hide from it when she isn't here or pretend to be the "in control one" when he's loc...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Well it was a nice start to a nice weekend......and then the text came in from my son. I guess he is sobering up. I now recognize the manipulations. Starts out with HI MOM I miss you and would like to come up for a visit if that's OK. I left you alone because of a vibe I felt....what vibe...I haven't tal...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I recently moved back home. AH went through Rehab, he is a normal person again. Well, a normal A anyway, with all the pesky elements of the disease and its dysfunction. Of course, I have all the elements of the disease too. I am going to Alanon, and CoDa. They help me immensely. Unfortunately He is not goi...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

I am having a hard, hard time with this. I know my husband and I cannot move forward until I trust him again. I know he cannot grow as a person if I keep cutting him off at the knee. He said to me today, 'It's like you want me to be a monster.' It would almost be easier that way. If he were a monster again, I cou...

Gaby · Gaby

I want you all to know that I thank you all for being here for me.. I have taken in all any one has posted. I need as many people everyday as possible. I am at my worst and I can only pray for my son. I have to I've him to god as much as I am hurting. This is not about me it's about my son. He has to want it. I can no longer...

melsand88 · melsand88

God- Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Three years of program and I still struggle with this every day.

deacon · deacon

I would like the title and whether I can purchase it on Amazon. Just so disappointed with my son right now. He is posting pictures on facebook that show he is not in any way curbing his drinking. Every time I see one, I want to crawl into a hole. I feel like such a failure as a mother because I tried so hard to in...

mongowal · mongowal

AHB who left me six weeks ago, come to my room Saturday, leaves and comes back several times. We have a pretty good conversation - he asks what I did the previous night and I ask him what he did. He of course went to the bar, claims he stayed sober. Not my business right. For the first time in these last...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I was in the kitchen and my son's father called. Left a message that he has not been able to get a hold of him and is concerned. Don't even want to call him back. I am in a panic state now. I'm scared and upset. I shouldn't be feeling this way. I want to cry....I don't want to tell him his son has relapse...

Jozie · Jozie

How is it, Know Matter How Hard I Try... I Still have "Triggers" that Can Set me in a Tail Spin So Fast, that even if "Nothing Happens" I still get Overwelmed with Emotions... I Sure don't have "All" the Triggers I Once Had, for Some I Can Now See Logical Sense out of, but t...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Interesting to feel guilt and a tinge of shame and then let them go...some. I purposely went for it...the feelings of guilt and shame. I knew they were here and went for it anyway. I was being gifted or rewarded for doing a service...finding some lost assets of another person and making sure they...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Acknowledging is the first step... (Preview) This is my first time on here. I'm not really sure where this post will go so I will just start with my story - My wife and I have been together for 3 years - had our union in March. I always knew she had an addictive personality and I guess I just always gave excuses. "Oh we are young we are suppose to dr...	Living in the Calm	6	594	Nov 21, 2013 by sadsusie
	The heart of an Alcoholic (Preview) I know that we should remember to keep the focus on ourselves, that it is essential to our recovery. Very essential. It is dreadfully easy for alcoholic seems to steal away our joy, peace, and serenity. Focusing on ourselves is necessary to restore those things into our lifewe need to refill the leaky...	sadsusie	10	477	Nov 21, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Today (Preview) Today I'm not feeling up to par. I've been sick off and on for a couple of weeks now. I think it's all in my head My son has made a couple of temps to contact me ( when in a sober state somewhat ) but I have not responded at all. I'm still weak and it would give him the opportunity to get to my weakness e...	Cathyinaz	21	553	Nov 20, 2013 by Tasha
	admitting my wrongs (Preview) So I am on steps 4-5 and find this a learning and difficult experience. I shared something I did with my sponsor that I have carried shame and regret for, for over 30 years. I have not admitted it to another human being, only to God. I'm not sure what I expected my sponsor to do-scold me, agree what I did w...	Lyne	4	335	Nov 20, 2013 by flinn66
	Confused (Preview) About a month ago I ended my relationship with my sponsor. It was a thoughtful decision after much prayer and counsel. I was clear it was the best decision for me. It was difficult for me to do but I thought I had handled it (through a phone call) in a way that was gentle, kind and clean with, what I believ...	PP	26	572	Nov 20, 2013 by Debilyn
	Power of Denial (Preview) I drive school bus and have threatened to arrange my kids, all ages, into seats that I know they won't like, if they cannot control their behavior - I'm tired of having to holler the same things over and over and careening down the freeway at 55 mph with semi's passing is no place for me to have to be discipl...	likemyheart	8	410	Nov 20, 2013 by grateful2be
	Compassion. (Preview) It's amazing how far-reaching the stuff I learn here is. My ex AH (and I am for all intents and purposes his ex AW) has been in my thoughts tonight. Some years ago we went overseas to stay with his parents for a time. We ended up moving into our own flat and living there for a couple of years and during that tim...	Melly1248	7	908	Nov 20, 2013 by karma13
	new to all of this, struggling (Preview) how can i briefly explain? probably not possible to do so, so I'll try to sum up. I knew my bf was an alcoholic from the start, but he had been working towards cutting down and living a healthier life even when we were just friends. he was one of my very best friends, and i didn't expect we would fall in love b...	breamanic665	15	526	Nov 20, 2013 by milkwood
	Update. I'm still working it (Preview) Hello everyone , I am ok today my A found a job my dr are not charging me co pays given my health status and free samples have been provided this is for sure to know my higher power see that I'm working hard to change me and given myself over to him and return he given me my path to recovery , this is something I co...	Wisdom67	7	364	Nov 20, 2013 by karma13
	A nice turn around (Preview) I've been feeling cranky all week, reaching a point where I felt completely down in the dumps. Thanks to lots of reading, mostly here, it was at least an opportunity to see my grizzly thinking in action Then in an effort to feel a bit more positive about myself I suggested doing a lunch for a friend who i...	milkwood	5	247	Nov 19, 2013 by PP
	Struggling (Preview) Where to start.... I have separated from my AH 2 months ago and trying my best to get on with my life, while caring for our 2 young girls, working, doing the household...etc. The last 2 months have been an emotional roller coaster, some days I am fine, other days I feel depressed. I feel I can manage (just)...	Medi	9	483	Nov 19, 2013 by Jen61
	ESH, please (Preview) I would like prayers today for the strength to work my program while I watch my husband relapsing into his addictive thoughts. To my awareness, he has not picked up substances, but he has picked up the stinking thinking. He has his tools and I have mine. I know I cannot and will not do this alone....th...	PP	24	751	Nov 19, 2013 by Green Eyes
	PTSD in overdrive (Preview) I have been having a very difficult time. I have been having lots of flashbacks from past abuse and assaults. It has gotten to the point that I see every male as a threat to my safety. I know it's logically stupid, but I've been having nightmares really bad and not sleeping. I've blocked more people from F...	bijela	8	1195	Nov 18, 2013 by Wisdom67
	really don't know what to say these days... (Preview) Should I keep my mouth shut? I am really feeling the need to listen these days. I think I am going through a growth period or a new cycle in my life. I don't have a lot of wisdom to share right now. I just want to say a few things & stop writing. I am not hopeless or helpless. I don't feel alone in all this stuf...	Hoot Nanny	4	444	Nov 18, 2013 by Wisdom67
	Good Weekend (Preview) It's not always doom and gloom - sometimes there is light. My husband and I had a really good weekend. We went out and bummed around town for a bit, we ate dinner out, and we had honest, kind conversations to each other. I had a few eye-opening moments, and I was able to explain a few of my concerns with a ve...	SpiderArcana	1	163	Nov 18, 2013 by milkwood
	Reflections on my own triggers (Preview) I found myself having a big reaction today and I thought, "Where the heck did that come from?" I was buying some big bags of pet food with my son, in a store that didn't have carts, and when we had pulled some out to take up to the register, my son wandered off to look at pets and I couldn't find him...	Mattie	8	543	Nov 18, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	Update... (Preview) So as I had shared my son relapsed one week ago today.. Well since he has no longer relapsed I can honestly say for him he just never recovered. He is in such denial. Where did all the stress and worrying and fear send me to !!?? Yes the mental hospital on Wednesday all caused by those factors because I have b...	Gaby	9	358	Nov 18, 2013 by PP
	5 weeks in rehab....2 hours to drink. (Preview) Hi eveyone, My name is Slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Well, after a great revelation of my own about intimacy last night, my dad got home from rehab. I saw he called today, so I phoned back. He's already slurring. Those 5 weeks he was gone felt so relaxing. My sister has decided that she w...	slogan_jim	8	560	Nov 18, 2013 by Tasha
	Is being a decent human being enough? (Preview) My husband is a caring, hardworking, giving man. I know he loves me and he professes it every day. He will go out of his way to make me comfortable and he says many times that he puts me first in our relationship.Except that he likes to drink. He knows how much I hate drinking. So he hides it in his garage and t...	deacon	12	548	Nov 17, 2013 by Mattie
	I'm Addicted to MIP AlAnon (Preview) I'm supposed to be getting ready for work and here I am...Lol.. I just have to vent a tiny bit before I walk out into the living room and see the A sitting at the computer dressed in the same clothes from last week. At least he hardly perspires, so you smell the dirty clothes more than anything else. And yet I...	Raven Juniper	2	347	Nov 17, 2013 by Jerry F
	Thanks Alanon... (Preview) Oh my gosh! This year I had to deal with conflict inside of my group. I was a big part of that! I wasn't the cause though. I would describe it as 'growing pains'. Yesterday we had our area business meeting. It was hosted in my own community... we did have a major crisis, which I won't name, of course! But I wa...	DavidG	4	283	Nov 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	How Addiction Starts (Preview) I was reading about the findings of a researcher on addiction, Karen Ersche. She studies the effects of cocaine on the brain. In the report she says: "I have also become increasingly intriguied by the question of occasional drug use can turn into addiction in some people, while others seem to...	Mattie	7	642	Nov 17, 2013 by DavidG
	Honest (Preview) I'm trying to work an honest program so I thought I would share parts of myself to you, just to be honest really and to get some feedback. I love Al anon, I love the fellowship and its teaching me to be a better person, a more empathetic person, a kinder, more gentle person, but there is a part of me, (not sure...	el-cee	19	576	Nov 16, 2013 by el-cee
	New realizations about weakness and strength (Preview) Hi all! I haven't written for a long time, but I still read often and I just love this board. Alanon and MIP continue to help me change my life in HUGE ways for the better and I am so thankful. I've been going through some tough circumstances. Today and yesterday, I was rolling around some ideas in my head a...	Doozy	2	474	Nov 17, 2013 by hotrod
	Panic Attacks (Preview) Good Morning all I've been having these little mini panic attacks I'm calling them. They aren't that bad but the fear is real and lasts from a few seconds to a few minutes. Sometimes I can't even remember what caused them. Sometimes my son comes to mind. It's all in my head I know but having a hard time...	Cathyinaz	14	645	Nov 17, 2013 by Debilyn
	Inventory (Preview) Hi Everyone Well I'm taking inventory but not my personal inventory...lol WORK . Been here since 6am and it's now 6:45pm I'M TIRED.....	Cathyinaz	5	858	Nov 16, 2013 by PP
	The Pantomime (Preview) Found an arrest warrent.I wasn't snooping. As his drinking and gaming take a deeper and deeper hold on him, his efforts at "being human" subside. Now, nothing is out of bounds. Every dish in the house lives in his room, covered in slime next to his bed amongst the piles of empty bottles and ca...	Melly1248	36	695	Nov 16, 2013 by Melly1248
	STILL... A Work In Progress (Preview) I have resently been working with my "Sponser"/"Sponsers" in trying to rerun the steps, I have Found out Many things in my Recovery, that was right there all along, I just needed someone Outside My Head to Point them Out... I have Often been told that "My Problem" is:...	Jozie	6	499	Nov 16, 2013 by Jerry F
	Small read on relationships and intimacy (share) (Preview) Hi Everyone,My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.I have been doing some thinking about intimacy and the effects of growing up in an alcoholic home. I was searching for some books I could read and maybe some psychological approaches as opposed to shares. I came across this book an...	slogan_jim	4	492	Nov 16, 2013 by slogan_jim
	Update , who is running my life (Preview) Maybe I should not be posting today , I'm not a person that had a good wisdom way for the past several days . My life is out of my hands . I can't find my peace and be happy with myself if I don't know who is in control over my life today . Last week I know some one strong and smart and could see things for what there w...	Wisdom67	1	537	Nov 16, 2013 by hotrod
	Having Gratitude for my Past as well as the Present (Preview) I shared at a meeting the other day that I had been so angry at myself from not living up to my own standards. Sheesh if I can't live up to my standards how can i think anyone else can. I went to bed still angry, this is the time I do my Grat list for my day. But this night I did it in a new way for me. Hoping this may be...	xeno59	4	363	Nov 15, 2013 by Peggy7
	What a HUGE elephant looks like (Preview) Not sure even how to write this. I find writing it out is just as theraputic as the responses. No secret to the MIP family that I have an AH. It's no secret to alot of people. I am happy. I have been keeping up with me (as in meetings, haircuts, clothes, getting to the dentist, visit with friends) I act...	1976love	3	430	Nov 15, 2013 by sweeetr
	Return of the crazy (Preview) This is the most absurd thing I have ever written.Had a massive step backwards yesterday. We were both having good days, we made plans to go out with friends to have dinner that night, all was well. I even felt lighter. I felt happy. When he got home, I tried to very, very nonchalantly ask him about ho...	SpiderArcana	4	373	Nov 15, 2013 by grateful2be
	Little by little (Preview) Little by little, day by day, I learn more and more about me. I learn that I am my own beautiful being. I am not perfect, and that's ok. I love and am loved. I'm unwrapping and some layers are painful and sting. Some wounds I covered with Band-Aids and never quite let them heal. I cry, but I listen. Shhh, its o...	Mari1978	6	229	Nov 15, 2013 by maryjane
	5TH STEP ON THE STEP WORK BOARD (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t55578983/alanon-5th-step/-- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 14th of November 2013 04:50:30 PM	hotrod	0	231	Nov 14, 2013 by hotrod
	some did listen! (Preview) feeling happier. Was blessed by some great fb friends who love animals too! I was wanting to say too, about Addicts stopping to use. I have a clock over my stove on the wall. Been up there fourteen or so years. I took it down a couple times but will keep looking up there to see what time it is. Since i moved my s...	Debilyn	3	313	Nov 14, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	drunken ranting about suicide (Preview) My ABF has anger and depression issues and as you can imagine he gets really riled up after he has been drinking. For the last year he regularly rants about killing himself. He says self deprecating things like "I am worth more dead than I am alive" "I wish I had a gun to end all my pain...	sad_dog_mommy	8	682	Nov 14, 2013 by pinkchip
	I feel so numb still.. (Preview) I feel as I have lost my son.. I have so many emotions going through me. I just feel like hiding. I am so sick to his addiction.. It has controlled me and I have a lot of learning to do about detachment!! I have lost myself completely.. I'm so depressed.	Gaby	11	480	Nov 14, 2013 by Katytexasmom
	I'm Back (Preview) re connected to computer today, and all moved into my new apt. Mom is at my brothers now and doing well. I'm withdrawing from the stress of taking care of a sick person. So, I cant say how I'm feeling yet, I know I'm tired from the move and just want to sleep. Glad to be back! Lets get busy...lol..	Bettina	11	421	Nov 14, 2013 by Bettina
	holidays and family dynamics (Preview) The holidays are coming up and I am starting to think about how me and my BIL do not really get along. He doesn't live here but he comes during Christmas time and him and his girlfriend and 3 kids come and stay at our house for a few days. Between my 2 boys and my husband - there is a lot of noise and talking going...	hope4ever	6	505	Nov 14, 2013 by grateful2be
	SELF-FORGIVENESS (Preview) What I learned was my guilt caused me to enable my sons drinking. I felt guilty because I divorced his Dad when he was 13 therefore leaving him without a Father. So for many years I pitied him and spoiled him to make up for his loss. What a mistake. A lot of us have made mistakes raising our children, some of...	oldergal	18	2239	Nov 13, 2013 by grateful2be
	Complete This Sentence (Preview) WHAT DOES LOVE LOOK LIKE?	oldergal	18	6193	Nov 14, 2013 by grateful2be
	Things we are doing to get better-lets make a list (Preview) I have to remind myself lately of what I am actively doing to get better as I feel a little stuck, restless or something. I am eating something healthier most days, trying to remember to take vitamins, walking a few times a week, and praying way more. As a result I feel better than I did when I found MIP. Tha...	mm830	9	495	Nov 14, 2013 by grateful2be
	Ok whatever... (Preview) OK whatever happens, happens. If nothing changes, nothing changes. I am still praying about some of my issues. I have hope for change. Even if I don't get what I want, it will get better! I have to have some confidence. I don't need the stress of not getting what I feel that I deserve. Serenity doesn't com...	Hoot Nanny	4	408	Nov 13, 2013 by PP
	Surviving guilt when trying to stop being an enabler (Preview) My husband who was an alcoholic passed away and I went to a few meetings at Al-anon. It sure opened my eyes to how we survive by becoming an enabler. I admit being an enabler is part of me and I want to change. At work I have made changes to stop this behavior but at home I am having a more harder time. I fina...	needy	8	3053	Nov 13, 2013 by Jozie
	missing them (Preview) I was thinking how just becuz we vent, hurt and say we feel so alone, does not mean we do not appreciate what we do have. Does not mean we don't realize others would love to have what we have. Just means we have that pain for whatever reason. To no longer be a part of anything I mean physically a part of, makes...	Debilyn	8	589	Nov 13, 2013 by PP
	Boundaries....oh, the Boundaries (Preview) I would like to ask for your ESH on boundaries, especially those of you who began setting boundaries late in the game, with an active A. For example, I had quit smoking several years ago, and asked my A to please refrain from smoking in the house. I had asked this when he moved in, then he began smoking in...	Raven Juniper	11	663	Nov 13, 2013 by PP
	The Most Wonderful Time of the Year? (Preview) I have to admit that I love and dread the holidays. Too many bad memories....and for the last 2 holiday seasons my A has added to the stress and dysfunction. I was determined not to let him have any impact on this year's festivities, but as of this posting, he still resides on the sofa, playing games on the...	Raven Juniper	7	436	Nov 13, 2013 by Melly1248
	New to Alanon. Old to addictive behavior. (Preview) Ok, here's my story. I've been married 22 years To my best friend. We have two young girls under 8yrs old. 2 1/2 years ago my dh started (what I would call) power drinking. And it hasn't stopped. He went deep. Drinking about a fifth of vodka and two bottles of wine a day. It's not at that level any more, but t...	Damselfly	8	565	Nov 13, 2013 by neshema2
	Thank you lovely people :-) (Preview) Thank-you lovely people, for sitting with me through my misery attack the other night I really, really do go loopy when daughter is away and it's just the silence and the mess and the awful reality!! I can't hide from it when she isn't here or pretend to be the "in control one" when he's loc...	Melly1248	19	556	Nov 13, 2013 by neshema2
	Text from the Boy (Preview) Well it was a nice start to a nice weekend......and then the text came in from my son. I guess he is sobering up. I now recognize the manipulations. Starts out with HI MOM I miss you and would like to come up for a visit if that's OK. I left you alone because of a vibe I felt....what vibe...I haven't tal...	Cathyinaz	18	625	Nov 13, 2013 by Jen61
	down in the dumps…maybe I am overreacting. (Preview) I recently moved back home. AH went through Rehab, he is a normal person again. Well, a normal A anyway, with all the pesky elements of the disease and its dysfunction. Of course, I have all the elements of the disease too. I am going to Alanon, and CoDa. They help me immensely. Unfortunately He is not goi...	sadsusie	8	511	Nov 13, 2013 by Jerry F
	Dismantling the defenses and re-establishing trust (Preview) I am having a hard, hard time with this. I know my husband and I cannot move forward until I trust him again. I know he cannot grow as a person if I keep cutting him off at the knee. He said to me today, 'It's like you want me to be a monster.' It would almost be easier that way. If he were a monster again, I cou...	SpiderArcana	14	638	Nov 12, 2013 by Melly1248
	Thank you.. (Preview) I want you all to know that I thank you all for being here for me.. I have taken in all any one has posted. I need as many people everyday as possible. I am at my worst and I can only pray for my son. I have to I've him to god as much as I am hurting. This is not about me it's about my son. He has to want it. I can no longer...	Gaby	5	227	Nov 12, 2013 by el-cee
	Serenity Serenity (Preview) God- Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Three years of program and I still struggle with this every day.	melsand88	2	5984	Nov 12, 2013 by PP
	Somone mentioned the name of a book about not letting your children destroy you (Preview) I would like the title and whether I can purchase it on Amazon. Just so disappointed with my son right now. He is posting pictures on facebook that show he is not in any way curbing his drinking. Every time I see one, I want to crawl into a hole. I feel like such a failure as a mother because I tried so hard to in...	deacon	4	569	Nov 12, 2013 by deacon
	Sunday Failure (Preview) AHB who left me six weeks ago, come to my room Saturday, leaves and comes back several times. We have a pretty good conversation - he asks what I did the previous night and I ask him what he did. He of course went to the bar, claims he stayed sober. Not my business right. For the first time in these last...	mongowal	7	472	Nov 12, 2013 by pinkchip
	Why do I feel scared? (Preview) I was in the kitchen and my son's father called. Left a message that he has not been able to get a hold of him and is concerned. Don't even want to call him back. I am in a panic state now. I'm scared and upset. I shouldn't be feeling this way. I want to cry....I don't want to tell him his son has relapse...	Cathyinaz	16	600	Nov 12, 2013 by Debilyn
	Continued Triggers.... (Preview) How is it, Know Matter How Hard I Try... I Still have "Triggers" that Can Set me in a Tail Spin So Fast, that even if "Nothing Happens" I still get Overwelmed with Emotions... I Sure don't have "All" the Triggers I Once Had, for Some I Can Now See Logical Sense out of, but t...	Jozie	5	324	Nov 12, 2013 by Breakingfree
	A recovering enablers reaction.... (Preview) Interesting to feel guilt and a tinge of shame and then let them go...some. I purposely went for it...the feelings of guilt and shame. I knew they were here and went for it anyway. I was being gifted or rewarded for doing a service...finding some lost assets of another person and making sure they...	Jerry F	16	521	Nov 12, 2013 by grateful2be
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.