Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

I'm supposed to be getting ready for work and here I am...Lol.. I just have to vent a tiny bit before I walk out into the living room and see the A sitting at the computer dressed in the same clothes from last week. At least he hardly perspires, so you smell the dirty clothes more than anything else. And yet I...

DavidG · DavidG

Oh my gosh! This year I had to deal with conflict inside of my group. I was a big part of that! I wasn't the cause though. I would describe it as 'growing pains'. Yesterday we had our area business meeting. It was hosted in my own community... we did have a major crisis, which I won't name, of course! But I wa...

Mattie · Mattie

I was reading about the findings of a researcher on addiction, Karen Ersche. She studies the effects of cocaine on the brain. In the report she says: "I have also become increasingly intriguied by the question of occasional drug use can turn into addiction in some people, while others seem to...

el-cee · el-cee

I'm trying to work an honest program so I thought I would share parts of myself to you, just to be honest really and to get some feedback. I love Al anon, I love the fellowship and its teaching me to be a better person, a more empathetic person, a kinder, more gentle person, but there is a part of me, (not sure...

Doozy · Doozy

Hi all! I haven't written for a long time, but I still read often and I just love this board. Alanon and MIP continue to help me change my life in HUGE ways for the better and I am so thankful. I've been going through some tough circumstances. Today and yesterday, I was rolling around some ideas in my head a...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning all I've been having these little mini panic attacks I'm calling them. They aren't that bad but the fear is real and lasts from a few seconds to a few minutes. Sometimes I can't even remember what caused them. Sometimes my son comes to mind. It's all in my head I know but having a hard time...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone Well I'm taking inventory but not my personal inventory...lol WORK . Been here since 6am and it's now 6:45pm I'M TIRED.....

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Found an arrest warrent.I wasn't snooping. As his drinking and gaming take a deeper and deeper hold on him, his efforts at "being human" subside. Now, nothing is out of bounds. Every dish in the house lives in his room, covered in slime next to his bed amongst the piles of empty bottles and ca...

Jozie · Jozie

I have resently been working with my "Sponser"/"Sponsers" in trying to rerun the steps, I have Found out Many things in my Recovery, that was right there all along, I just needed someone Outside My Head to Point them Out... I have Often been told that "My Problem" is:...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone,My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.I have been doing some thinking about intimacy and the effects of growing up in an alcoholic home. I was searching for some books I could read and maybe some psychological approaches as opposed to shares. I came across this book an...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Maybe I should not be posting today , I'm not a person that had a good wisdom way for the past several days . My life is out of my hands . I can't find my peace and be happy with myself if I don't know who is in control over my life today . Last week I know some one strong and smart and could see things for what there w...

xeno59 · xeno59

I shared at a meeting the other day that I had been so angry at myself from not living up to my own standards. Sheesh if I can't live up to my standards how can i think anyone else can. I went to bed still angry, this is the time I do my Grat list for my day. But this night I did it in a new way for me. Hoping this may be...

1976love · 1976love

Not sure even how to write this. I find writing it out is just as theraputic as the responses. No secret to the MIP family that I have an AH. It's no secret to alot of people. I am happy. I have been keeping up with me (as in meetings, haircuts, clothes, getting to the dentist, visit with friends) I act...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

This is the most absurd thing I have ever written.Had a massive step backwards yesterday. We were both having good days, we made plans to go out with friends to have dinner that night, all was well. I even felt lighter. I felt happy. When he got home, I tried to very, very nonchalantly ask him about ho...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

Little by little, day by day, I learn more and more about me. I learn that I am my own beautiful being. I am not perfect, and that's ok. I love and am loved. I'm unwrapping and some layers are painful and sting. Some wounds I covered with Band-Aids and never quite let them heal. I cry, but I listen. Shhh, its o...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t55578983/alanon-5th-step/-- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 14th of November 2013 04:50:30 PM

Debilyn · Debilyn

feeling happier. Was blessed by some great fb friends who love animals too! I was wanting to say too, about Addicts stopping to use. I have a clock over my stove on the wall. Been up there fourteen or so years. I took it down a couple times but will keep looking up there to see what time it is. Since i moved my s...

sad_dog_mommy · sad_dog_mommy

My ABF has anger and depression issues and as you can imagine he gets really riled up after he has been drinking. For the last year he regularly rants about killing himself. He says self deprecating things like "I am worth more dead than I am alive" "I wish I had a gun to end all my pain...

Gaby · Gaby

I feel as I have lost my son.. I have so many emotions going through me. I just feel like hiding. I am so sick to his addiction.. It has controlled me and I have a lot of learning to do about detachment!! I have lost myself completely.. I'm so depressed.

Bettina · Bettina

re connected to computer today, and all moved into my new apt. Mom is at my brothers now and doing well. I'm withdrawing from the stress of taking care of a sick person. So, I cant say how I'm feeling yet, I know I'm tired from the move and just want to sleep. Glad to be back! Lets get busy...lol..

hope4ever · hope4ever

The holidays are coming up and I am starting to think about how me and my BIL do not really get along. He doesn't live here but he comes during Christmas time and him and his girlfriend and 3 kids come and stay at our house for a few days. Between my 2 boys and my husband - there is a lot of noise and talking going...

oldergal · oldergal

What I learned was my guilt caused me to enable my sons drinking. I felt guilty because I divorced his Dad when he was 13 therefore leaving him without a Father. So for many years I pitied him and spoiled him to make up for his loss. What a mistake. A lot of us have made mistakes raising our children, some of...

oldergal · oldergal

WHAT DOES LOVE LOOK LIKE?

mm830 · mm830

I have to remind myself lately of what I am actively doing to get better as I feel a little stuck, restless or something. I am eating something healthier most days, trying to remember to take vitamins, walking a few times a week, and praying way more. As a result I feel better than I did when I found MIP. Tha...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

OK whatever happens, happens. If nothing changes, nothing changes. I am still praying about some of my issues. I have hope for change. Even if I don't get what I want, it will get better! I have to have some confidence. I don't need the stress of not getting what I feel that I deserve. Serenity doesn't com...

needy · needy

My husband who was an alcoholic passed away and I went to a few meetings at Al-anon. It sure opened my eyes to how we survive by becoming an enabler. I admit being an enabler is part of me and I want to change. At work I have made changes to stop this behavior but at home I am having a more harder time. I fina...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I was thinking how just becuz we vent, hurt and say we feel so alone, does not mean we do not appreciate what we do have. Does not mean we don't realize others would love to have what we have. Just means we have that pain for whatever reason. To no longer be a part of anything I mean physically a part of, makes...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

I would like to ask for your ESH on boundaries, especially those of you who began setting boundaries late in the game, with an active A. For example, I had quit smoking several years ago, and asked my A to please refrain from smoking in the house. I had asked this when he moved in, then he began smoking in...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

I have to admit that I love and dread the holidays. Too many bad memories....and for the last 2 holiday seasons my A has added to the stress and dysfunction. I was determined not to let him have any impact on this year's festivities, but as of this posting, he still resides on the sofa, playing games on the...

Damselfly · Damselfly

Ok, here's my story. I've been married 22 years To my best friend. We have two young girls under 8yrs old. 2 1/2 years ago my dh started (what I would call) power drinking. And it hasn't stopped. He went deep. Drinking about a fifth of vodka and two bottles of wine a day. It's not at that level any more, but t...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Thank-you lovely people, for sitting with me through my misery attack the other night

I really, really do go loopy when daughter is away and it's just the silence and the mess and the awful reality!! I can't hide from it when she isn't here or pretend to be the "in control one" when he's loc...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Well it was a nice start to a nice weekend......and then the text came in from my son. I guess he is sobering up. I now recognize the manipulations. Starts out with HI MOM I miss you and would like to come up for a visit if that's OK. I left you alone because of a vibe I felt....what vibe...I haven't tal...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I recently moved back home. AH went through Rehab, he is a normal person again. Well, a normal A anyway, with all the pesky elements of the disease and its dysfunction. Of course, I have all the elements of the disease too. I am going to Alanon, and CoDa. They help me immensely. Unfortunately He is not goi...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

I am having a hard, hard time with this. I know my husband and I cannot move forward until I trust him again. I know he cannot grow as a person if I keep cutting him off at the knee. He said to me today, 'It's like you want me to be a monster.' It would almost be easier that way. If he were a monster again, I cou...

Gaby · Gaby

I want you all to know that I thank you all for being here for me.. I have taken in all any one has posted. I need as many people everyday as possible. I am at my worst and I can only pray for my son. I have to I've him to god as much as I am hurting. This is not about me it's about my son. He has to want it. I can no longer...

melsand88 · melsand88

God- Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Three years of program and I still struggle with this every day.

deacon · deacon

I would like the title and whether I can purchase it on Amazon. Just so disappointed with my son right now. He is posting pictures on facebook that show he is not in any way curbing his drinking. Every time I see one, I want to crawl into a hole. I feel like such a failure as a mother because I tried so hard to in...

mongowal · mongowal

AHB who left me six weeks ago, come to my room Saturday, leaves and comes back several times. We have a pretty good conversation - he asks what I did the previous night and I ask him what he did. He of course went to the bar, claims he stayed sober. Not my business right. For the first time in these last...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I was in the kitchen and my son's father called. Left a message that he has not been able to get a hold of him and is concerned. Don't even want to call him back. I am in a panic state now. I'm scared and upset. I shouldn't be feeling this way. I want to cry....I don't want to tell him his son has relapse...

Jozie · Jozie

How is it, Know Matter How Hard I Try... I Still have "Triggers" that Can Set me in a Tail Spin So Fast, that even if "Nothing Happens" I still get Overwelmed with Emotions... I Sure don't have "All" the Triggers I Once Had, for Some I Can Now See Logical Sense out of, but t...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Interesting to feel guilt and a tinge of shame and then let them go...some. I purposely went for it...the feelings of guilt and shame. I knew they were here and went for it anyway. I was being gifted or rewarded for doing a service...finding some lost assets of another person and making sure they...

Tasha · Tasha

I just wanted to update to you guys - that even though the alcoholic in my life is not sober or in recovery, things are going really really well and he's being very loving and much more respectful over all to me and this has been a direct result of the program in MY life. Love to all :) -- Edited by Tasha o...

Gaby · Gaby

I am in full force fear.. But I understand I am powerless. My husband and I stayed the night just to make sure that he will be ok through out the night being that he hit tile with his head. He stayed in bed most of the day. When he woke up and was cohirent. He asked me what happened. I had to really refrain myself...

flinn66 · flinn66

Just sitting quietly today and reflecting, meditating and in contact with my HP. I don't know if this is others' experience but it came to me that since joining Al-Anon some years ago I became very involved with Service, I think maybe as a diversion from living with an active A. It did help, it gave me a di...

CoachPapa · CoachPapa

Slogans in a Poem by Coach PapaFirst Things First - I have heard it said - Be Honest With yourself, - get out of your head - You can Feel Good -About Saying "No" - Keep Coming Back to - Talk And Grow - Easy Does It - sounds real nice - If you Keep It Simple - you don't roll the dice - Live And Let Live - Bri...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I did something tonight that I don't often do. I called a group I meet with for book discussion and begged off meeting. I was honest about it. I feel empty/emotionally and mentally fatigued. I love our small group of ladies. I love the dynamics of our group. It's not an Al-Anon group though. Funn...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

Invited the AH over to watch a movie tonight. No big deal. We have been friendly and gone to church a few times with the kids during his 4 months of sobriety. We have had a nice time and he has fixed dinner for everyone but I haven't accepted his offers of going out. I can pretty much take him or leave him so he...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

http://books.google.ca/books?id=h-jQ_1vF-VQC&pg=PA230&lpg=PA230&dq=acoa+forming+healthy+relationships&source=bl&ots=64oi1IZdou&;...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

HI all.... so I made an appointment to go back on anti-depressants, so I feel I am letting myself down and as strong as I have become and thought I was, I am not. I kicked depression in the BUTT a long long time ago AND have been able to pull out of it after a couple days when it would surface. This took years of p...

mm830 · mm830

Good morning. Today I am going to accept what is, try my best not to judge it or make crazy attempts to control it. Just accept it. It's not the easiest thing to take the rose colored glasses off but until that happens I live in denial and lie to myself that its not really what it is. And I am not going to fight a...

farmerswife · farmerswife

Well I completed step 1. It was harder than I thought I never thought I had any control over my A, but I realized I was trying to control some aspects of his illness without even knowing I was doing it and I was trying to control many other things in life by trying to influence others decisions. Admitting...

Tricia911 · Tricia911

I grope around in the dark for the light switch that will illuminate unconditional love within myself.Butting my head against the struggle to surrender.It Feels as if my journey may be long and painful,with a bit of stumbling and falling, before I find myself on the proper path to enlightenment.My s...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Hello today is ok , I have taken a break from my Alaon books and find that I can't stay focus on my self . I don't focus on the A anymore that became old hat. My focus is now on my children and there behavior . I find myself wanting to change them but not fix them. I need to know about alateen . I looked on the board a...

islandtime · islandtime

for some reasen when I click on the link, for the 12 steps, nothing happens. Anybody know what the problem might be? I have gotten on there other times with no problem. Thanks

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Good afternoon well I have to say 7 months ago I was a very co dependent problem . I did everything for everyone and never seen it to be wrong . Today I guess I'm selfish . I cook and clean and pick up my own mess and the kids mess but not the husbands mess . I have noticed he been leaving things around to see if I wi...

Lyne · Lyne

I am working on step 4 with my sponsor and find this to be a very difficult but interesting experience. There are 2 people I carry anger, resentment, and fear toward, and one person anger and resentment for. I am finally able to want to get rid of all of this "junk". In the past, I have been af...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

My recovering abf invited me to his meeting this week. He was receiving his two year chip. This was my first time at the meeting. It's an open one but I've really never had any interest in going with him. I have my own program and my own meetings and I'm glad to have the house to myself while he's gone. You k...

Hopeful925 · Hopeful925

I sure could use support right now to stop the reeling in my head....Last time I posted, my ABF was involuntarily committed to a treatment center in June after 12 unsuccessful detoxes/rehabs in 18 mos. The one new addition to his plan which seemed to help was Naltrexone which he took x 3 mos. Prior to th...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Today was the first truly warm, summery evening of the year. My daughter's friend comes here on Wednesday afternoons whilst her mum is at work and usually I have dinner waiting for all of us when she comes to collect her child. But tonight she called on her way here- would I like to grab some takeaway and e...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, I am wondering how many meetings you go to in a week? There was a time when I would sometimes hit 4 meetings a week. I tried keeping that up but I found myself constantly looking at my watch and sigh'ing to myself wanting it to just end because it was so redundant. I found I was hearing a lot of the...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I'm Addicted to MIP AlAnon (Preview) I'm supposed to be getting ready for work and here I am...Lol.. I just have to vent a tiny bit before I walk out into the living room and see the A sitting at the computer dressed in the same clothes from last week. At least he hardly perspires, so you smell the dirty clothes more than anything else. And yet I...	Raven Juniper	2	348	Nov 17, 2013 by Jerry F
	Thanks Alanon... (Preview) Oh my gosh! This year I had to deal with conflict inside of my group. I was a big part of that! I wasn't the cause though. I would describe it as 'growing pains'. Yesterday we had our area business meeting. It was hosted in my own community... we did have a major crisis, which I won't name, of course! But I wa...	DavidG	4	284	Nov 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	How Addiction Starts (Preview) I was reading about the findings of a researcher on addiction, Karen Ersche. She studies the effects of cocaine on the brain. In the report she says: "I have also become increasingly intriguied by the question of occasional drug use can turn into addiction in some people, while others seem to...	Mattie	7	643	Nov 17, 2013 by DavidG
	Honest (Preview) I'm trying to work an honest program so I thought I would share parts of myself to you, just to be honest really and to get some feedback. I love Al anon, I love the fellowship and its teaching me to be a better person, a more empathetic person, a kinder, more gentle person, but there is a part of me, (not sure...	el-cee	19	577	Nov 16, 2013 by el-cee
	New realizations about weakness and strength (Preview) Hi all! I haven't written for a long time, but I still read often and I just love this board. Alanon and MIP continue to help me change my life in HUGE ways for the better and I am so thankful. I've been going through some tough circumstances. Today and yesterday, I was rolling around some ideas in my head a...	Doozy	2	477	Nov 17, 2013 by hotrod
	Panic Attacks (Preview) Good Morning all I've been having these little mini panic attacks I'm calling them. They aren't that bad but the fear is real and lasts from a few seconds to a few minutes. Sometimes I can't even remember what caused them. Sometimes my son comes to mind. It's all in my head I know but having a hard time...	Cathyinaz	14	647	Nov 17, 2013 by Debilyn
	Inventory (Preview) Hi Everyone Well I'm taking inventory but not my personal inventory...lol WORK . Been here since 6am and it's now 6:45pm I'M TIRED.....	Cathyinaz	5	859	Nov 16, 2013 by PP
	The Pantomime (Preview) Found an arrest warrent.I wasn't snooping. As his drinking and gaming take a deeper and deeper hold on him, his efforts at "being human" subside. Now, nothing is out of bounds. Every dish in the house lives in his room, covered in slime next to his bed amongst the piles of empty bottles and ca...	Melly1248	36	699	Nov 16, 2013 by Melly1248
	STILL... A Work In Progress (Preview) I have resently been working with my "Sponser"/"Sponsers" in trying to rerun the steps, I have Found out Many things in my Recovery, that was right there all along, I just needed someone Outside My Head to Point them Out... I have Often been told that "My Problem" is:...	Jozie	6	500	Nov 16, 2013 by Jerry F
	Small read on relationships and intimacy (share) (Preview) Hi Everyone,My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.I have been doing some thinking about intimacy and the effects of growing up in an alcoholic home. I was searching for some books I could read and maybe some psychological approaches as opposed to shares. I came across this book an...	slogan_jim	4	492	Nov 16, 2013 by slogan_jim
	Update , who is running my life (Preview) Maybe I should not be posting today , I'm not a person that had a good wisdom way for the past several days . My life is out of my hands . I can't find my peace and be happy with myself if I don't know who is in control over my life today . Last week I know some one strong and smart and could see things for what there w...	Wisdom67	1	541	Nov 16, 2013 by hotrod
	Having Gratitude for my Past as well as the Present (Preview) I shared at a meeting the other day that I had been so angry at myself from not living up to my own standards. Sheesh if I can't live up to my standards how can i think anyone else can. I went to bed still angry, this is the time I do my Grat list for my day. But this night I did it in a new way for me. Hoping this may be...	xeno59	4	364	Nov 15, 2013 by Peggy7
	What a HUGE elephant looks like (Preview) Not sure even how to write this. I find writing it out is just as theraputic as the responses. No secret to the MIP family that I have an AH. It's no secret to alot of people. I am happy. I have been keeping up with me (as in meetings, haircuts, clothes, getting to the dentist, visit with friends) I act...	1976love	3	431	Nov 15, 2013 by sweeetr
	Return of the crazy (Preview) This is the most absurd thing I have ever written.Had a massive step backwards yesterday. We were both having good days, we made plans to go out with friends to have dinner that night, all was well. I even felt lighter. I felt happy. When he got home, I tried to very, very nonchalantly ask him about ho...	SpiderArcana	4	375	Nov 15, 2013 by grateful2be
	Little by little (Preview) Little by little, day by day, I learn more and more about me. I learn that I am my own beautiful being. I am not perfect, and that's ok. I love and am loved. I'm unwrapping and some layers are painful and sting. Some wounds I covered with Band-Aids and never quite let them heal. I cry, but I listen. Shhh, its o...	Mari1978	6	230	Nov 15, 2013 by maryjane
	5TH STEP ON THE STEP WORK BOARD (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t55578983/alanon-5th-step/-- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 14th of November 2013 04:50:30 PM	hotrod	0	232	Nov 14, 2013 by hotrod
	some did listen! (Preview) feeling happier. Was blessed by some great fb friends who love animals too! I was wanting to say too, about Addicts stopping to use. I have a clock over my stove on the wall. Been up there fourteen or so years. I took it down a couple times but will keep looking up there to see what time it is. Since i moved my s...	Debilyn	3	314	Nov 14, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	drunken ranting about suicide (Preview) My ABF has anger and depression issues and as you can imagine he gets really riled up after he has been drinking. For the last year he regularly rants about killing himself. He says self deprecating things like "I am worth more dead than I am alive" "I wish I had a gun to end all my pain...	sad_dog_mommy	8	684	Nov 14, 2013 by pinkchip
	I feel so numb still.. (Preview) I feel as I have lost my son.. I have so many emotions going through me. I just feel like hiding. I am so sick to his addiction.. It has controlled me and I have a lot of learning to do about detachment!! I have lost myself completely.. I'm so depressed.	Gaby	11	481	Nov 14, 2013 by Katytexasmom
	I'm Back (Preview) re connected to computer today, and all moved into my new apt. Mom is at my brothers now and doing well. I'm withdrawing from the stress of taking care of a sick person. So, I cant say how I'm feeling yet, I know I'm tired from the move and just want to sleep. Glad to be back! Lets get busy...lol..	Bettina	11	422	Nov 14, 2013 by Bettina
	holidays and family dynamics (Preview) The holidays are coming up and I am starting to think about how me and my BIL do not really get along. He doesn't live here but he comes during Christmas time and him and his girlfriend and 3 kids come and stay at our house for a few days. Between my 2 boys and my husband - there is a lot of noise and talking going...	hope4ever	6	507	Nov 14, 2013 by grateful2be
	SELF-FORGIVENESS (Preview) What I learned was my guilt caused me to enable my sons drinking. I felt guilty because I divorced his Dad when he was 13 therefore leaving him without a Father. So for many years I pitied him and spoiled him to make up for his loss. What a mistake. A lot of us have made mistakes raising our children, some of...	oldergal	18	2250	Nov 13, 2013 by grateful2be
	Complete This Sentence (Preview) WHAT DOES LOVE LOOK LIKE?	oldergal	18	6209	Nov 14, 2013 by grateful2be
	Things we are doing to get better-lets make a list (Preview) I have to remind myself lately of what I am actively doing to get better as I feel a little stuck, restless or something. I am eating something healthier most days, trying to remember to take vitamins, walking a few times a week, and praying way more. As a result I feel better than I did when I found MIP. Tha...	mm830	9	496	Nov 14, 2013 by grateful2be
	Ok whatever... (Preview) OK whatever happens, happens. If nothing changes, nothing changes. I am still praying about some of my issues. I have hope for change. Even if I don't get what I want, it will get better! I have to have some confidence. I don't need the stress of not getting what I feel that I deserve. Serenity doesn't com...	Hoot Nanny	4	409	Nov 13, 2013 by PP
	Surviving guilt when trying to stop being an enabler (Preview) My husband who was an alcoholic passed away and I went to a few meetings at Al-anon. It sure opened my eyes to how we survive by becoming an enabler. I admit being an enabler is part of me and I want to change. At work I have made changes to stop this behavior but at home I am having a more harder time. I fina...	needy	8	3058	Nov 13, 2013 by Jozie
	missing them (Preview) I was thinking how just becuz we vent, hurt and say we feel so alone, does not mean we do not appreciate what we do have. Does not mean we don't realize others would love to have what we have. Just means we have that pain for whatever reason. To no longer be a part of anything I mean physically a part of, makes...	Debilyn	8	590	Nov 13, 2013 by PP
	Boundaries....oh, the Boundaries (Preview) I would like to ask for your ESH on boundaries, especially those of you who began setting boundaries late in the game, with an active A. For example, I had quit smoking several years ago, and asked my A to please refrain from smoking in the house. I had asked this when he moved in, then he began smoking in...	Raven Juniper	11	664	Nov 13, 2013 by PP
	The Most Wonderful Time of the Year? (Preview) I have to admit that I love and dread the holidays. Too many bad memories....and for the last 2 holiday seasons my A has added to the stress and dysfunction. I was determined not to let him have any impact on this year's festivities, but as of this posting, he still resides on the sofa, playing games on the...	Raven Juniper	7	437	Nov 13, 2013 by Melly1248
	New to Alanon. Old to addictive behavior. (Preview) Ok, here's my story. I've been married 22 years To my best friend. We have two young girls under 8yrs old. 2 1/2 years ago my dh started (what I would call) power drinking. And it hasn't stopped. He went deep. Drinking about a fifth of vodka and two bottles of wine a day. It's not at that level any more, but t...	Damselfly	8	568	Nov 13, 2013 by neshema2
	Thank you lovely people :-) (Preview) Thank-you lovely people, for sitting with me through my misery attack the other night I really, really do go loopy when daughter is away and it's just the silence and the mess and the awful reality!! I can't hide from it when she isn't here or pretend to be the "in control one" when he's loc...	Melly1248	19	557	Nov 13, 2013 by neshema2
	Text from the Boy (Preview) Well it was a nice start to a nice weekend......and then the text came in from my son. I guess he is sobering up. I now recognize the manipulations. Starts out with HI MOM I miss you and would like to come up for a visit if that's OK. I left you alone because of a vibe I felt....what vibe...I haven't tal...	Cathyinaz	18	626	Nov 13, 2013 by Jen61
	down in the dumps…maybe I am overreacting. (Preview) I recently moved back home. AH went through Rehab, he is a normal person again. Well, a normal A anyway, with all the pesky elements of the disease and its dysfunction. Of course, I have all the elements of the disease too. I am going to Alanon, and CoDa. They help me immensely. Unfortunately He is not goi...	sadsusie	8	515	Nov 13, 2013 by Jerry F
	Dismantling the defenses and re-establishing trust (Preview) I am having a hard, hard time with this. I know my husband and I cannot move forward until I trust him again. I know he cannot grow as a person if I keep cutting him off at the knee. He said to me today, 'It's like you want me to be a monster.' It would almost be easier that way. If he were a monster again, I cou...	SpiderArcana	14	642	Nov 12, 2013 by Melly1248
	Thank you.. (Preview) I want you all to know that I thank you all for being here for me.. I have taken in all any one has posted. I need as many people everyday as possible. I am at my worst and I can only pray for my son. I have to I've him to god as much as I am hurting. This is not about me it's about my son. He has to want it. I can no longer...	Gaby	5	228	Nov 12, 2013 by el-cee
	Serenity Serenity (Preview) God- Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Three years of program and I still struggle with this every day.	melsand88	2	6008	Nov 12, 2013 by PP
	Somone mentioned the name of a book about not letting your children destroy you (Preview) I would like the title and whether I can purchase it on Amazon. Just so disappointed with my son right now. He is posting pictures on facebook that show he is not in any way curbing his drinking. Every time I see one, I want to crawl into a hole. I feel like such a failure as a mother because I tried so hard to in...	deacon	4	577	Nov 12, 2013 by deacon
	Sunday Failure (Preview) AHB who left me six weeks ago, come to my room Saturday, leaves and comes back several times. We have a pretty good conversation - he asks what I did the previous night and I ask him what he did. He of course went to the bar, claims he stayed sober. Not my business right. For the first time in these last...	mongowal	7	473	Nov 12, 2013 by pinkchip
	Why do I feel scared? (Preview) I was in the kitchen and my son's father called. Left a message that he has not been able to get a hold of him and is concerned. Don't even want to call him back. I am in a panic state now. I'm scared and upset. I shouldn't be feeling this way. I want to cry....I don't want to tell him his son has relapse...	Cathyinaz	16	601	Nov 12, 2013 by Debilyn
	Continued Triggers.... (Preview) How is it, Know Matter How Hard I Try... I Still have "Triggers" that Can Set me in a Tail Spin So Fast, that even if "Nothing Happens" I still get Overwelmed with Emotions... I Sure don't have "All" the Triggers I Once Had, for Some I Can Now See Logical Sense out of, but t...	Jozie	5	324	Nov 12, 2013 by Breakingfree
	A recovering enablers reaction.... (Preview) Interesting to feel guilt and a tinge of shame and then let them go...some. I purposely went for it...the feelings of guilt and shame. I knew they were here and went for it anyway. I was being gifted or rewarded for doing a service...finding some lost assets of another person and making sure they...	Jerry F	16	522	Nov 12, 2013 by grateful2be
	Update (Preview) I just wanted to update to you guys - that even though the alcoholic in my life is not sober or in recovery, things are going really really well and he's being very loving and much more respectful over all to me and this has been a direct result of the program in MY life. Love to all :) -- Edited by Tasha o...	Tasha	4	261	Nov 12, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Update on my son.. (Preview) I am in full force fear.. But I understand I am powerless. My husband and I stayed the night just to make sure that he will be ok through out the night being that he hit tile with his head. He stayed in bed most of the day. When he woke up and was cohirent. He asked me what happened. I had to really refrain myself...	Gaby	3	234	Nov 12, 2013 by el-cee
	When I got busy I got better? (Preview) Just sitting quietly today and reflecting, meditating and in contact with my HP. I don't know if this is others' experience but it came to me that since joining Al-Anon some years ago I became very involved with Service, I think maybe as a diversion from living with an active A. It did help, it gave me a di...	flinn66	4	3300	Nov 12, 2013 by el-cee
	Al-Anon Slogans in a Poem - By Coach Papa (Preview) Slogans in a Poem by Coach PapaFirst Things First - I have heard it said - Be Honest With yourself, - get out of your head - You can Feel Good -About Saying "No" - Keep Coming Back to - Talk And Grow - Easy Does It - sounds real nice - If you Keep It Simple - you don't roll the dice - Live And Let Live - Bri...	CoachPapa	2	578	Nov 11, 2013 by Peggy7
	Emptiness (Preview) I did something tonight that I don't often do. I called a group I meet with for book discussion and begged off meeting. I was honest about it. I feel empty/emotionally and mentally fatigued. I love our small group of ladies. I love the dynamics of our group. It's not an Al-Anon group though. Funn...	grateful2be	21	602	Nov 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	Worst "Date" Ever (Preview) Invited the AH over to watch a movie tonight. No big deal. We have been friendly and gone to church a few times with the kids during his 4 months of sobriety. We have had a nice time and he has fixed dinner for everyone but I haven't accepted his offers of going out. I can pretty much take him or leave him so he...	wornoutmrsfixit	15	607	Nov 11, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	Has anyone read this book? (Preview) http://books.google.ca/books?id=h-jQ_1vF-VQC&pg=PA230&lpg=PA230&dq=acoa+forming+healthy+relationships&source=bl&ots=64oi1IZdou&;...	slogan_jim	3	304	Nov 11, 2013 by afglin
	Not doing well today (Preview) HI all.... so I made an appointment to go back on anti-depressants, so I feel I am letting myself down and as strong as I have become and thought I was, I am not. I kicked depression in the BUTT a long long time ago AND have been able to pull out of it after a couple days when it would surface. This took years of p...	Iwantthingsback	19	561	Nov 11, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Acceptance (Preview) Good morning. Today I am going to accept what is, try my best not to judge it or make crazy attempts to control it. Just accept it. It's not the easiest thing to take the rose colored glasses off but until that happens I live in denial and lie to myself that its not really what it is. And I am not going to fight a...	mm830	8	557	Nov 11, 2013 by flinn66
	steps? (Preview) Well I completed step 1. It was harder than I thought I never thought I had any control over my A, but I realized I was trying to control some aspects of his illness without even knowing I was doing it and I was trying to control many other things in life by trying to influence others decisions. Admitting...	farmerswife	6	425	Nov 11, 2013 by flinn66
	Journal Entry - I shared this entry in a meeting and was asked to share it here on the board. I pray it blesses another. unconditional love love struggle surrender worthy journey (Preview) I grope around in the dark for the light switch that will illuminate unconditional love within myself.Butting my head against the struggle to surrender.It Feels as if my journey may be long and painful,with a bit of stumbling and falling, before I find myself on the proper path to enlightenment.My s...	Tricia911	6	7630	Nov 11, 2013 by Peggy7
	Looking for alateen (Preview) Hello today is ok , I have taken a break from my Alaon books and find that I can't stay focus on my self . I don't focus on the A anymore that became old hat. My focus is now on my children and there behavior . I find myself wanting to change them but not fix them. I need to know about alateen . I looked on the board a...	Wisdom67	5	165	Nov 11, 2013 by abbyal
	can't get on the step board...HELP Please (Preview) for some reasen when I click on the link, for the 12 steps, nothing happens. Anybody know what the problem might be? I have gotten on there other times with no problem. Thanks	islandtime	1	170	Nov 11, 2013 by hotrod
	Am I being selfish? (Preview) Good afternoon well I have to say 7 months ago I was a very co dependent problem . I did everything for everyone and never seen it to be wrong . Today I guess I'm selfish . I cook and clean and pick up my own mess and the kids mess but not the husbands mess . I have noticed he been leaving things around to see if I wi...	Wisdom67	8	391	Nov 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	step 4 (Preview) I am working on step 4 with my sponsor and find this to be a very difficult but interesting experience. There are 2 people I carry anger, resentment, and fear toward, and one person anger and resentment for. I am finally able to want to get rid of all of this "junk". In the past, I have been af...	Lyne	3	317	Nov 11, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Attended Open AA for his Sober Anniversary (Preview) My recovering abf invited me to his meeting this week. He was receiving his two year chip. This was my first time at the meeting. It's an open one but I've really never had any interest in going with him. I have my own program and my own meetings and I'm glad to have the house to myself while he's gone. You k...	tiredtonite	8	351	Nov 11, 2013 by tiredtonite
	5 months sober...and down the tubes in 5 days...Help! (Preview) I sure could use support right now to stop the reeling in my head....Last time I posted, my ABF was involuntarily committed to a treatment center in June after 12 unsuccessful detoxes/rehabs in 18 mos. The one new addition to his plan which seemed to help was Naltrexone which he took x 3 mos. Prior to th...	Hopeful925	6	480	Nov 11, 2013 by Hopeful925
	Why I love where i live :-) (Preview) Today was the first truly warm, summery evening of the year. My daughter's friend comes here on Wednesday afternoons whilst her mum is at work and usually I have dinner waiting for all of us when she comes to collect her child. But tonight she called on her way here- would I like to grab some takeaway and e...	Melly1248	9	432	Nov 11, 2013 by maryjane
	How many meetings do you attend in a week (Preview) Hi everyone, I am wondering how many meetings you go to in a week? There was a time when I would sometimes hit 4 meetings a week. I tried keeping that up but I found myself constantly looking at my watch and sigh'ing to myself wanting it to just end because it was so redundant. I found I was hearing a lot of the...	slogan_jim	10	1066	Nov 10, 2013 by Tricia911
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.